“A good friend will always stab you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde
Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship. I hope you all had a great week.
Between Halloween decorating, a bunch of work around the garage, some community political stuff, and dealing with some family issues, it felt a lot busier and frenetic than it actually was. So, I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend. We skipped the Halloween party scene, which probably was a good thing for my mental and physical health, and for my butt.
We’ve been so distracted with various everyday stuff going on, there’s been no follow-up on the subject of last week’s post, i.e. the possibility of a witnessed spanking. But, thanks to those of you who weighed in with opinions or suggestions about it.
One of you, 3pops, got enthused about the possibility of trying to use Zoom or other remote technology to create a virtual version of the DWC. I am not averse to trying to figure out a way to foster more live communications among the commenters here, so keep the ideas coming. There were also a couple of people who said they'd like to get together in-person in a very small group, including the possibility of the men getting spanked. Given the surprise Anne gave me when she seemed at least open to the possibility of a witnessed spanking via video, I'm no longer going to just assume she wouldn't be open to something new, and I admit those small-gathering scenarios appeal to me, too . . . food for thought.
Given the distractions this week, I haven’t had a lot of time to think about DD topics. But, our discussion of witnesses included several references to friends as possible witnesses, or real-life examples of friends we’ve told who support us but don’t really “get it.”
It reminded me that I’ve had a topic with a different spin on “friends” on my mind for a while. It isn’t anything I have any personal experience with, and it wasn’t suggested by any of you. Rather, it was inspired by this spanking meme I came across a few months ago:
I’m not sure why, but the scenario depicted in the caption struck a chord. And, it’s not the first time that I’ve had a positive reaction to a meme that included a reference to being spanked by a friend with whom the recipient is not in a sexual relationship.
I think perhaps it has something to do with this combination: the spanker is someone who cares about you, but is at least one step removed from the caring one receives from a spouse. To me, it creates a scenario in which the spanker is motivated by both caring and a desire to help impose genuine accountability but, because the friend isn’t in a romantic or sexual relationship with the recipient, there is a strong “all business” vibe, which I always find very compelling.
Though, I’ve seen similar
memes that hint at, or at least leave open the possibility, that there may have
been a sexualized relationship in play, possibly even servicing a common kink that arose at an early age.
Here’s another one that I’ve had in my “Christmas” collection. I had a strong reaction to it the first time I saw it, but until now I couldn’t figure out how to use it in a post.
As I said, I have no personal experience with being spanked by a non-spouse friend. I didn’t discover an interest in DD, or spanking in general, until I had been married to Anne for almost a decade. And, when I was in high school and college, I never got a “spanking vibe” from any of my friends, though I did gravitate toward very strong-willed women as friends. And, some of those relationships were caring and close enough that I could imagine one of them agreeing to a purely platonic spanking arrangement had I been motivated and self-aware enough to ask for it.
As an adult, I haven’t still haven’t caught a “spanking vibe” from any female friends, with the exception of one younger woman I knew at work whose interactions with her husband at parties suggested some kind of F/m power differential might be in play.
I’ve used this meme a couple of times, and it suggests the possibility of a wife’s friend, or perhaps she’s a mutual friend, taking on some disciplinary responsibilities. Like the other “friend” memes above, this one has always done something for me.
But, I really have only one close female friend who I’m in regular contact with, and she does happen to be the only friend I’ve told about our DD relationship. She’s also talked openly with Anne about it on two or three occasions. If something ever happened to Anne and she needed a surrogate, would that friend be someone who might be willing to literally lend a hand to keep me in line? I kind of doubt it. Our relationship has none of that power differential vibe, and although she is totally non-judgmental regarding the DD aspects of my relationship with Anne, I also don’t think she has any personal attraction to the idea of putting a man over her knee.
Of course, although everything I've written to this point suggests a female spanker, scenarios involving spanking friends obviously aren't so limited.
So, I have no personal experience with being spanked by a friend, and it’s pretty unlikely to happen in the future.
But, many of you discovered your spanking/disciplinary interest much earlier than I did and/or have had more adult spanking adventures than I have.
I’ll leave the topic open to your individual interpretations, but what role, if any, have friends played in your spanking adventures? Here are a few possible sub-topics to discuss:
Have you ever been spanked by a friend you were not in a close romantic relationship with?
Maybe you experimented with spanking or being spanked by a friend in high school or college (or earlier)?
If you have been spanked by a friend, how did that come about? Was it a purely platonic friendship, or something more?
Regardless of whether you’ve had such an experience in the past, do the scenarios depicted in the pictures in this post do anything for you? Is being spanked by a platonic friend hold any attraction to you?
Is there any
friend in your life today who you would like to have disciplinary power over you
in some form? This is another meme I really like, as it suggests a relationship between the spanker and the recipient's wife in which the spanker is more than just a surrogate and, instead, has independent authority to both order and deliver a spanking. Any thoughts on what is going on in this pic? Perhaps a friend who a wife has empowered to take certain matters into her own hands?
I look forward to hearing whatever thoughts you may have on this topic.
Last night was Halloween, and you long-term participants know how much I love that holiday. I hate seeing it go, but I’ll leave you with this meme I discovered this morning. It reduced my Halloween attraction just a bit.
I have never been spanked by a non romantic friend, but have thought about it a lot. It would be nice to have a relationship like that with another woman. As far as what is going on the photo you asked about, it seems like she is playing the role of an authority figure, sending him home for another spanking when she is finished giving him one. She looks serious, which makes it more convincing.
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic. Due to the fact that I have been a spaning party organizer it wasn't an uncommon situation to be spanked by a non-romantic partner. Both playful, funishment and discipline. My disciplinarians are all platonic and not too uncommon that one might ask a friend to deal out a spanking has happened. This is a timely topic for me because I just came from visiting a friend with whom I have had a 20 year platonic friends with spanking benefits relationship. It was a 4 day visit with spankings in the morning and at bedtime each day. The last morning was the worst as it was meant as full on no warm up discipline. She used a Tawse, OTK Lexan Cane and Wooden Hairbrush Paddle. I think the fact that she is a freind gives the arrangement a different perspective because the spankings are focused without any other agenda or expectations. No safe words, no pleading allowed. Spanking doesn't get any simpler than that for me.
ReplyDeleteThe only one who has ever spanked me is my wife. I would find it very appealing to be spanked by another woman, either in my wife's presence or just by her arrangement. But I would not want it to be a woman in our circle of friends, because I think one person always tells another. Perhaps an old friend from out of town.
DeleteIn agreement with Spanky53 above. Attending or hosting spanking parties leads one into being spanked by another person, not a stranger and not a wife, gf or significant other. There are many such females in my life and pleased to say each spanks me whenever the opportunity arises. Hardly ever for discipline or punishment, but those occurrences are not ruled out. Mostly, discipline is handled by my life partner, but there have been times when others administered a needed punishment spanking. When we visit or have one of these ladies visit us, eventually the subject or question comes up...'Has he been spanked recently?' It seems invariably that the answer is 'He could always use one.' I am immediately stripped and spanked, sometimes by just the visitor and sometimes by both ladies. Getting to know these kinds of friends is a direct result of attending spanking parties.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it's kind of a conundrum. The thought of attending a spanking party does nothing for me, because of the fact that it *is* a party. Without the disciplinary aspect, it just kind of leaves me cold. But, I alos accept that if you want friends who are openly into DD, that probably is the best route. When you look at the pics on the older versions of the DWC website, and if you've ever seen the DWC videos, many of the participants were in the wider spanking community. People like Dana Specht, among others. In fact, Jerry introduced Kay to it through one of the more popular spanking gatherings (Crimson Moon, maybe?) That's really the simple answer to how they were able to build a DD community -- they started in the broader spanking community, which made connections with those who were into the DD niche of it.
DeleteDan, I am with you, in that being spanked for no reason or just or fun, isn't very fulfilling. About 8 years ago I attended a weekend long Shadow Lane spanking party in Las Vegas. It was uplifting at first, and fun to be around so many spankos from all over the US, and some coming from as far as Japan and New Zealand. They rented out a few floors in a big hotel. There were some talks and demos, but the more intimate events happened in the rooms. If you had a room and left the door open, anybody could come in at any time and join the fun. I spanked and got spanked by many different women. They were all friendly, and I enjoyed the weekend, but ultimately, it wasn't my scene. I am happy to report that my partner has been onboard with upping our level of DD, which I have been requesting. If a rule is broken, she will spank immediately. I have been spanked 4 times in the last 5 days. That has led to me feeling pretty randy lately, so we have had some great sex.
DeleteI suspect that's how I would react to a spanking party, too. The openness and sense of community would probably feel great at first, but I just have no desire to be spanked by strangers in a non-disciplinary context.
DeleteCongrats on your partner ramping things up!
The only desire that has arose surrounding the topic, would be a friend’s cousin. She has stated multiple times; that she enjoys a good spanking now and then. This would be one of the times I would “switch”. She is older and wears those beautiful sundresses. I’ve thought about being over her lap once or twice. My wife absolutely thinks she has a crush on me. I don’t find her physically attractive. My feelings changed a bit, once I found out her bottom gets thrashed. If something were to happen to my wife, I could see reaching out to Fetlife and looking for a partner for disciplinary purposes. Finally, I do fantasize, when I see older women dressed in long skirts or Sunday dresses.
ReplyDeleteT
That's amazing that she's that open about it!
DeleteIf something were to happen to Anne, I honest don't know what I'd do where DD is concerned. I'm pretty sure I would want someone else in my life to fulfill that role, yet I also think I could live without it. I know I got very lucky that Anne was OK with trying it when I first brought the DWC to her attention, and maybe lightning doesn't strike twice? On the other hand, I sincerely believe that most disciplinary wives are made, not born, and that many vanilla women would at least give it a try if asked.
Dan,
DeleteYes, I as a bit blown away that she was open about it. The more I think about it, if something God forbid would to happen to my wife, I might actually seek her out for a strictly platonic spanking DD relationship. She is the first I’ve seen quite open minded about it. As for the second part of your statement, I agree wholeheartedly. You are either born a disciplinary wife or you have to be coaxed into it like my wife. I know it’s a bit weird to say, but my Mother probably would have made a great DD wife. She was no nonsense when we were younger and had to raise a few kids all alone. My Aunt also would have been a great DD wife as well. Looking back at my parochial school, there was a female teacher of mine, who probably was in a DD relationship. She bossed her spouse around and did not put up with any clowns. I was sent to the office to be paddled one day and she responded, your lucky it isn’t me paddling you.
T
I envy that you had that kind of mother. Mine was way too erratic to be a DD wife, and my step-father would have never gone for it. I'm confident all my aunts spanked their kids, as it was just what happened in that area of the country. But, I have a hard time seeing anyone disciplining their husbands. I didn't really have any teachers who had a strong DD wife vibe, but I have worked with a few women who did. If I had a teacher who said to me what you said to yours, I think it probably would have led to me having a massive crush on her. I had no attraction to spanking back then, but I did have a thing for older, strong women.
DeleteI had a massive crush on her for the longest time. She was the same teacher, who took her own daughter into the closet and used a yard stick on her bare bottom. I stumbled into the classroom and heard it. She was bawling like a baby. I only knew because she told me about it the next day. I probed her about it and promised her I wouldn’t say anything. It’s amazing how you could remember nothing last week, but I could remember that story from my youth. As far as my Mother goes, I’m torn on my feelings about how I was reared. I’m the man I am today because of her no nonsense approach to parenting. She had to be strong rearing three kids and there were consequences for our actions. They were the strap or paddle. We learned quickly to toe the line. Her love knew no bounds and she would do anything for us. I do sometimes wonder about other parenting practices when younger. We knew no different as almost everyone I knew was spanked in one form or another.
DeleteT
The way you describe your mother is similar to the way I think about not my mother, but one of my grandmothers. When I was growing up, I thought she was a very hard person who was way too tough on everyone. But, with the benefit of hindsight, I get that after her husband died young, she raised 6 kids on her own, during the Depression and Dust Bowl, and ran a business at a time when women just didn't do that. It's left me with a lot of admiration for her. She was hard, but I now get that she had to be. My mother doesn't have that kind of force of will or resilience.
DeleteThe meme of the woman standing outside her door hits hard. Being sent for a spanking would amp up the punishment factor significantly. The reality though is that this bumps up against my wife’s extreme fear of anyone finding out about our spankings. The whole concept of why she shouldn’t be embarrassed because she’s not the one being spanked just goes over like a lead balloon. Being sent out is a delightful thought though and I could imagine a few of her friends that might enjoy the opportunity although I have no sense that any of them would be in to such a thing.
ReplyDelete- 3pops
Yeah, despite the typos, I really love that meme. I can't fully articulate exactly why, but there's something about the juxtaposition of her casual, friendly approach and her determination to do the task at hand. The overall message she gives is that his spanking is inevitable and will hurt like hell, but it's just one of those things he has to get through. It's very business-like yet casual.
DeleteWhen Anne was working, she was probably as paranoid as I was about confidentiality, and I can sort of understand it, because she was in one of the few remaining professions in which moral turpitude was kind of still a thing. After she retired, however, she became quite a bit less concerned. It wasn't quite as dramatic as former commenter KOJ's description of his wife's openness flipping "like a light switch" but it was a very noticeable change. So far, the only concrete way it has played out is her command to leave window shades up during a spanking (not always but she did for a while) and, when I showed a little reluctance, she basically said, "Who cares? It's just the neighbors.) And, she's used the "Why should I be embarrassed; I'm not the one being spanked?" line. Honestly, I'm not sure why a disciplinary wife should be afraid of anyone finding out. It's such a power role, I have to think that many who found about about would be envious or openly admiring of it.
Women are so bad at keeping secrets and love to gossip with their friends, especially after s couple of glasses if wine , so I'm sure most of them , including my wife has boasted to a friend about spanking but we will never know for sure.
DeleteSo far, Anne doesn't seem to have told anyone. Honestly, I would have expected it by now, mostly likely one of our kids, given how close they are.
DeleteGlenmore,
DeleteYou are correct in that assessment. The description above about the women enjoying being spanked now and then was over a few or more glasses of wine. The only female person that knows would be my wife’s best friend in another state. We don’t see her ever as she is so far away. My wife told her, she blisters my bottom when I’m out of line.
T
Dan,
DeleteI thought more about last weeks topic of witnesses. We both believe there is such a level of intimacy surrounding DD. I think I would be more open to allow
her childhood friend, to observe a live DD punishment: I think the only reason is that she’s already aware of our lifestyle. Her husband needs this type of punishment. I don’t believe my wife would be onboard, but I may broach the subject down the road if the opportunity presents itself.
T
T., are you saying that witnessing you get spanked might encourage your wife's friend to try to introduce her husband to DD? It would be very interesting to see how that worked out. I have't had many people in my life since we discovered DD that I would love to introduce to it. but I did have one really good work friend who really could have used some imposed boundaries. At that time, I was way too paranoid about confidentiality to talk to him about it, but now I kind of see it as an opportunity missed.
DeleteAccording to my wife, she has brought it up on multiple occasions. I know it would benefit her husband. He has an attitude problem. My wife simply told her that we had an arrangement. When I am deemed disrespectful or “out of line”. I get a severe thrashing. I am paranoid about being outed, but my circle has no involvement in this women’s life. She lives on the other side of the country. So for me, if the opportunity presents itself, I would be onboard. There are some trust factors in play. The fact that it’s been spoken about multiple times seems like she might be interested. Whether her husband would be onboard is another story.
DeleteT
Yeah, I think it's really difficult to predict whether any given male would be onboard with a DD relationship. I suspect that if you asked most of my friends whether I would put myself under someone else's authority the way that happens in DD, they would respond with a resounding NO! Yet, they couldn't be more wrong.
DeleteDan, when I first saw the DWC site and learned about the concept of submitting willingly to your wife's authority for discipline, it was definitely a turn on. However, I never suspected it would be more than a powerful fantasy for me. I didn't know of any women that were into F/M spanking, and aside from one couple, still don't. If memory serves, Aunt Kay's advice to wives was something like " the harder and the more often you spank him, the more he will love you for it". While I wanted and needed to be spanked, I was still a long way from wanting my wife or life partner to actually have the authority and willingness to hold me accountable. How things have changed! Now I actually self report any behavior of mine that I know my partner would not approve of.
DeleteI have encouraged her to hold me accountable as soon as possable whenever I break a rule, and she has become much better at doing that. I have also encouraged her to use the word "spanking" instead of using a euphemism, and to please let me know when to expect punishment. An example of how that is different now than it used to be would be, is something like her saying "you are in trouble because you left the stove on" vs "you left the stove on again, so I am going to give you a spanking in 5 minutes. Go set things up and wait for me". We have quite a long list of at least 11 or 12 things that will earn me a spanking, ranging from little things, like leaving the toilet seat up, to more serious offenses, such as making her nervous in any way when I am driving. She enjoys having the power to alter many things in our relationship, and will let me know if something is bothering her. Sometimes she will simply text me a photo of the toilet seat up, letting me know what to expect when I get home. I believe our DD works for us because I trust her completely, and it has also served to make me much more honest and open with her. Because submitting to her authority turns me on, it has the added bonus of often leading to sex. I am usually pretty randy if I know I am going to get a spanking soon, and not so much just after getting one. It took many decades for me to accept my submissive nature. My friends and others have no idea that I am wired that way, as I am pretty outspoken about most things, and often the one to speak up in a group when nobody else will.
I absolutely LOVE that example of the difference between a vague "you're in trouble" vs. "You left the stove on again, so I am going to give you a spanking in 5 minutes . . ." There is a HUGE difference in the power of those two communications.
DeleteI still really hesitate to call myself "submissive" or to say I have a "submissive nature". And, I don't that's really about being in denial. My basic personality is very assertive, and some would say domineering. But, there is this off-setting desire to give up control in limited circumstances. I think the desire to be controlled and held accountable is kind like a shadow side of being controlling and dominant.
Norton,
DeleteWhen I approached my wife about DD, I used the same phrase that was used on the DWC website. I was do a thrashing for something I did. Prior to me coming home, I sent her the quote, “the harder you spank him, the more he will love you”. My wife tanned my bottom that day. I’ve encouraged her not to stop when she thinks I’ve had enough. I love some of the memes that Dan puts up. The ones about, we are just getting started, are the ones that resonate with me. I’m do a thrashing for an insensitive remark I made to my wife. It wasn’t necessarily out of line, but I understood her feelings. She told me it would happen tonight. I’m similar to Dan, I have zero submissiveness in me
I’m assertive and some would say domineering in aspects of my life. As far as DD, my wife calls it the equalizer. She uses it as a tool. She explained to me with her ex, who was verbally abusive, she had zero outlet. DD obviously wouldn’t have worked for them, because she didn’t respect him as a man. When I broached the subject, she was onboard and had become more domineering and confident in life.
T
R.e. my being submissive, or having a submissive nature, that is only with my partner in the context of DD. There are really no other areas of life where I would describe myself as submissive, and I often assume responsibility and speak my mind. I should have made that distinction in my last post.
DeleteBeing in an FLR my wife is a strict disciplinarian and my authority figure. That is really why I get spanked, for real punishment and discipline. I couldn't see a friend scenario as I dont enjoy spankings I do desire for my wife to hold me accountable and discipline me as she sees fit. - DD
ReplyDeleteI understand, and just to be clear, for a spanking from a friend to have any appeal for me, it would have to be for real punishment and discipline. I don't enjoy spankings either, but I don't see that as inherently inconsistent with a spanking being delivered by a friend or someone other than spouse or significant other.
Delete"I dont enjoy spankings I do desire for my wife to hold me accountable and discipline me as she sees fit" - DD summarized pretty much exactly how I feel about spankings. I am a spanko in that I have always been turned on by the thought of spankings. However, once I started actually getting them, I quickly realized that I don't like being spanked at all, though I am still turned on by the thought of it before and in retrospect. But really spankings are just a necessary ingredient in realizing the exercised authority that I really desire (which interestingly enough I also don't appreciate when my wife is exercising her authority, but only before and after).
DeleteHaving said all that, even though it is the exercised authority that I really crave (and not the spanking) it doesn't necessarily have to be my wife, but rather just a female. And for that matter, if the exercised authority is clearly backed up by a credible threat of spanking, it probably wouldn't have to even be a female doing the threatening or the spanking, since I have pretty strong triggers around all this that would quickly kick in.
-ZM
"However, once I started actually getting them, I quickly realized that I don't like being spanked at all, though I am still turned on by the thought of it before and in retrospect."
DeleteSo true. And, I can't think of any other aspect of my life that is like that, i.e. where I am turned on or attracted to something that I actually don't like at all while I'm doing it.
I have been spanked by persons I'm not romantically involved with, about 12 different people on about 25 occasions. Some would say that because "tribute" is involved that isn't the same but I would content that because their is a bond created, of trust and respect, and for over half of them a repeat meeting accrues, then their is a crossover into this week's theme.
ReplyDeletePerversely I feel much less guilty about Mrs GL when seeing those disciplinarians than I would be if say a long standing female friend who knows my tastes (who I haven't ever tipped my hat at) suddenly decided she'd like to spank me. If I'm not mistaken their is only 1 female that comes under that criteria and whilst I'm not saying I wouldn't let her I would struggle with that more mentally than my next paid session would cause me. Cheers GLM.
I’m tossed on whether to see a disciplinarian again. I saw a few when younger, one who passed, and was absolutely wonderful with me. I connected to her. The second not so much. As for today, they are often younger than me and very pricey. My ideal disciplinarian would be older. I would find it hard to have a twenty five or thirty year old disciplining me.
DeleteT
Obviously the statement above would be of my wife and I split or something tragic happened to one of us.
DeleteWifey and I have actually discussed if she would ever get a “stand in” to discipline me. The only scenario she could see was if she was out of town (she travels for business several times a year) and I had done something truly out of line. Not a simple rule, but something irresponsible or dangerous.
ReplyDeleteWifey seemed to think that it would have to be her Mother, and she would have to have prior knowledge of the situation. Not the least bit exciting or sexy… but she is the closest thing to my own Mother now, so it makes sense to me. I would find that acceptable, but not necessarily desirable. I have no problem taking a spanking from anyone my Wife would designate though. If she is that comfortable with them, then that should be enough for me.
TE
We haven't had an express conversation around it, so I don't know whether there is a circumstance where Anne would be OK with a "stand in." I suspect that it would similar to your scenario, where it would have to be a serious issue. But, the other big necessary element probably would be that we had already identified someone who might be happy taking on the surrogate role.
DeleteBut, those times when I've done something irresponsible or dangerous tend to be the only scenarios in which my own need for accountability lasts long enough that it probably wouldn't require an immediate consequence. When it's something fairly ordinary, like having a few too many beers with a friend, the guilt or need for accountability that I feel generally lasts maybe two or three days. But, on those occasions when I've done someting that crossed the line into truly irresponsible, I can feel some guilt about it for weeks.
I do think I would take a spanking from anyone my wife designated.
Hey I am new here, its my first time on blogger and i guess i have find my people. About the question I have been only spanked by non romantic partners. In school i was spanked by female teachers and in life after finding about my preferences i developed such relation with my female cousin. I mostly got the punishment spankings only. My cousin spanks a lot harder than any of my teacher used to, she doesnt hold back and aims to cause maximum pain. However nowadays i rarely get spanked, i feel very desperate for spankings. Its my first time sharing such experience online, i would love to know more people here.
ReplyDeleteWelcome. How did your spanking relationship with the female cousin come about?
DeleteIm not sure attending a spanking party would have much appeal to me or my wife. However, to be spanked , or more accurately caned, but someone other than the wife does hold an appeal ! Not as far as Im aware a sexual one . There is one very dear friend of hers who Im sure would jump at the chance but Im afraid she would take revenge on some of the stuff Ive said to her in the past !
ReplyDeleteI do think a spanking / caning from a none loved one is possibly a beneficial occurrence.
To me, a situation in which a friend had something to take revenge on would make it feel more real than someone who was participating out of mere curiosity.
DeleteMy wife straps hard and long. These are proper & painful spankings which I try to avoid even though I relish that she has that ‘ultimate’ power over me. I have, however, thought about being punished by someone who didn’t love me, who wasn’t my life partner and who could have a totally objective view of my behaviour. My sense is that such a punishment would / could be even more severe in that they would have no concern about pain levels, completely deaf to my entreaties and I would attempt to be more stoically restrained in my reaction. I’m attracted/ fascinated by what the discipline experience would be like in that cold, loveless relationship. They would have to act on her instructions, her report. She would be there but once the discipline started, she would not have any influence. I feel that she may learn to be even more severe in her own punishments having possibly seen how to take punishment to higher levels. It would probably be a caning as for me that always feels much less intimate, less erotic even on the rare occasions my wife uses the cane. TB
ReplyDelete"My sense is that such a punishment would / could be even more severe in that they would have no concern about pain levels, completely deaf to my entreaties and I would attempt to be more stoically restrained in my reaction."
DeleteI wonder if this is why spanking stories involving aunts and uncles are so prevalent in spanking fiction -- there is a domestic/familial environment in play, but the relationship is much less emotionally close, which may mean the spanker has much less sympathy for the recipient. There is one such story I've alway really liked, in which a mother is frustrated with the behavior of her teenage son, but she is reluctant to really do something about it herself. So, she takes him to an uncle who she knows took his own sons to the woodshed regularly. The uncle then delivers a very hard woodshed whipping to his nephew, and it is very "all business".
Hi Dan,
ReplyDeleteJust when I think we have covered every possible topic surrounding DD, you come up with something completely new!
The thing that I love about captioned pictures is that a single caption describes a complete scenario, which combined with a little imagination tells a whole story. And because it is my imagination that is doing the storytelling, the story always resonates with me.
I have never been spanked by a friend in any context, so I have no experiences to pull from. When I think about this topic, however, my mind goes immediately to a specific friend. She is the one who I told several years ago about my wife holding me accountable, and that is almost certainly because she is my closest female friend and someone who I trust deeply. After me telling her that, there have been some veiled teasing references to punishment, which left me wondering just how much she suspected that spanking was involved. This friend is native to the country in which I live, and I have known her for about 20 years (when she was a teenager). After I married my wife, this friend and my wife became good friends as well. She moved to another European country several years ago, so now we don't see her often.
While I was visiting America this summer, we chatted several times, and it became quite clear that she knows that my wife spanks me, which I have mentioned here a few months ago. She even went so far as to say that her and my wife "are quite the same in some sense," she made references to tears, and then she wrote "I just wish I was there to be her backup."
So naturally with all this, she is the first one I think of for this, even though I think it is highly unlikely. She will be visiting in December, and I would say that probably there is a 50% chance that she will mention spanking or my wife exercising control at least in a joking or veiled way, but probably more like a 10% chance she will actually use the word "spanking" or something similarly specific. If she does bring it up, I think I have decided to be an open book and answer any and all questions she might have. But the chances of it ever turning into something that she actually spanks me are probably more between one in a hundred and one in a thousand. If it actually did, I have no idea how I would feel about it. She is my closest female friend (except my wife of course), but it would certainly change the relationship dynamic some, and I am not sure how I feel about that or how that would look.
For the idea of being sent to someone else, or having someone come and spank as a surrogate, I can immediately think of a couple of my wife's friends. While the experience would probably be more intense in a way - much like the dynamic in the photo above with the woman standing in the door - the fact that I am not close to them also makes the whole thing feel less threatening. In any case, this topic is good food for thought!
-ZM
The relationship with your friend sounds much like mine with the one vanilla friend I've told about our DD. I've known her for 30 years and only around 3 years less than I've known my wife. Unlike your friend though, she seldom asks directly about that aspect of our relationship. She sometimes asks more generally about how things are going with Anne and I, which will sometimes lead me to refer to something related to the DD and FLR aspects, but I think the whole thing is so far removed from anything that personally turns her on that she just doesn't really think about it. Even though she and Anne have talked about DD, and once when very angry at me over dinner Anne told her she intended to spank me, not only is there no chance she would ever be a participant in any spanking scenario, I don't have any desire for it. As you say, it would almost certainly change the relationship, and I don't want that. Also, while she can be strong-willed, it doesn't really come across in any I associate with a power differential relationship, so the thought of her giving a spanking just doesn't resonate.
DeleteWhen we first got together, I wanted to let my new partner, A.J., wittnes me being spanked by my dom. My former wife was not into spanking, and she agreed to let me see a pro. This woman had been spanking me about every week for about 3 years. I realized that getting spanked was about the only thing that helped with my PTSD and depression, and it seemed to work. Anyway, I wanted to be sure A.J. understood my need for spanking before we got too serious. Although she had not been aware of adult consentual spanking before, she was not the least bit judgmental. She was so curious about it, she asked my dom to spank her, and she ended up getting a pretty hard spanking. They became friendly, and my dom gave her a lot of advice about how to spank, so she learned from a pro. A.J. soon took on the role, and has been giving me regular spankings ever since. We are both old, but we are very sexual, and compatible. A few years after we got together, I started reading about DD on this blog. After learning about how it could work, we embarked down this road, and it has had amazing results. We are both committed to practicing DD, and have our roles explicitly defined on an affirmation statement, which we occasionally read before a check in. If for some reason A.J. was not able to spank me for an extended period of time, we would probably seek out another pro to do it, and I would want to have A.J. with me, so she would basically be in charge, and tell the pro what she wanted. We don't have any friends that know about our DD, and probably never will. Fortunately, so far, we have not had to take breaks from DD for longer than a month.
ReplyDeleteNorton,
DeleteThe way you introduced your new partner to spanking is a tactic that might work for others seeking a way to bring spanking into a relationship. I think pros could have a very positive role in making a woman comfortable, as well as teaching her the art of discipline. Your partner’s open-mindedness, of course, was key to it working for you. But given a partner that is open-minded, you have mapped out a way to do it.
Alan
Hi Alan. She is very open minded, and I was very relieved that she was ok with my spanking obsession. I described exactly what was going to happen when she went with me to witness my getting a spanking, so she had a good idea of what to expect. The dom did as I requested and gave me a pretty long and hard spanking. Soon after it began, all my concerns were forgotten about, and I was lost in the spanking. It helped a lot that they liked each other, and that we were all quite friendly. That kept it from looking too overly serious, even though the spanking was very real. It seems like a long time ago, but it was only 7 years. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be enthuiastic about giving my new partner the authority to discipline me any time for any reason. She turned out to be a very competent spanker, and I have never been happier.
DeleteI think it would be incredibly hot to be spanked by one of my wife's close friends, but unfortunately that's total fantasy and will never happen. My wife would never in a million years ask a friend to do it, and equally true I doubt any of her friends would be willing to do it.
ReplyDelete