One Incident, Multiple Spankings (Meeting 520)

“A failure establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough.” - Christian Nestell Bovee

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the Disciplinary Wives who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.

 

I hope you all had a good week.  Mine was every bit the adventure I had planned.  Every muscle in my body aches, and I have PTSD just thinking about sitting my ass on a motorcycle seat, but this too shall pass.  And, this was the first longer trip I've done since one last June, which resulted in a significant injury.  This time, both body and bike got through it mostly in one piece.

 

Before we get started with a new topic, I wanted to highlight one from the last post, which addressed the timing of any scolding/lecture.  Here is the full comment, from an anonymous poster (which we know I discourage -- please use some name or initials to identify yourself):

"My wife employs a two-stage spanking process that has proven effective for us. The first stage is a hard, focused spanking designed to break down my ego and bring me to a state of contrition and humility. This initial phase isn’t about the specific rule I broke but rather about reminding me of my place in our relationship and her authority. It’s intense and leaves me emotionally and physically vulnerable, which sets the stage for what comes next.

After this first spanking, she has me kneel in front of her for a lecture. At this point, I’m in a receptive frame of mind—humbled and open to truly hearing her. She uses this time to clearly explain why the behavior was unacceptable, how it affected her or our relationship, and what she expects moving forward. The kneeling reinforces the power dynamic and keeps me focused on her words. This lecture isn’t rushed; she takes her time to ensure the message sinks in.

Once the lecture is complete, the spanking resumes for the second stage. This part is the actual punishment for the specific rule I broke. It feels different from the first half—more purposeful, as it’s directly tied to the behavior we just discussed. The combination of the initial humbling, the lecture, and the concluding punishment creates a powerful experience that leaves me both corrected and motivated to do better.

This sequence works for us because the first spanking clears away any defensiveness or ego, allowing me to absorb her lecture fully. The second spanking then reinforces the lesson, tying the physical discipline to the specific infraction. It’s a process that feels both maternal and authoritative, and it helps me internalize the correction in a way that a single spanking or a pre-spanking lecture alone wouldn’t."

Many of us have experienced the way a spanking breaks down the ego and allows us to see things from the wife's perspective.  The corollary to that is that we may go into a spanking not seeing her perspective and with our ego in full defense mode, which means a pre-spanking lecture may be resisted, albeit silently. Anonymous' two stage process would seem to solve that issue, with the first spanking designed to break or soften the ego defenses, with the second constituting the real punishment, delivered after we are fully open to her point of view. Seems pretty brilliant to me.

This week's topic relates to a spanking I received a few weeks ago for something that has been an ongoing issue.  We went out to dinner with in-laws.  My alcohol consumption at dinner was reasonable.  But, after I got home, I decided to have a few nightcaps.  Objectively, it wasn’t a huge amount.  In total it was 6 drinks, and three of those were light beer.

 

But, when I drink after a social event, I almost always feel tired and cranky the next day, because it screws up my sleep. And, it’s hard to call it “social drinking” when I’m sitting alone in my home office, watching a movie or listening to music.  I also didn't fully own up to the nightcaps when she confronted me about them.  I admitted to it pretty quickly under questioning, but not at first.

Further, I had been having a good couple of weeks, making a lot of progress in getting my health and fitness back on a better trajectory.

 

So, it’s something we both feel should be dealt with; I wasn’t surprised when she did deal with it. I mostly wanted her to.  During the spanking, she said my behavior was "disappointing", and that's how I felt about it myself.

This all happened during the week that, here on the blog, we were discussing a “zero tolerance” approach to DD.  So, this comment from Jackson proved timely:

 

“Well this is an appropriate topic for my house this week. I am sitting on a very sore bottom after receiving a prolonged session this morning. I had a great week right up until Saturday night when I got argumentative with Lauren over a chair placement in the living room while watching the Kentucky Derby with my son and Lauren.

 

It gets much worse…We were having mint juleps (Kentucky Derby) and I decided to make mine extra strong and also took a few sips out of the bottle. I also treated myself to a couple of beers earlier… so already I’m a little over my 3 limit. I didn’t go further, but later after dinner and my son and his wife had left, Lauren asked me if I had more than just the mint julep, and I don’t know why but I lied.

 

Dishonesty undermines an FLR/DD relationship in our view and is very serious business. I knew when I lied that I would come clean because I just can’t lie to her. When I did…. she was livid but couldn’t take me upstairs because she had been drinking too, and we have a hard and fast rule about no spanking if she has been drinking (safety first).

 

Well, this morning I got a long drawn-out scolding and spanking with six different brutal instruments. She broke the bath brush she was hitting so hard. She also tightened the reins up by stating that from now on any dishonesty would be met with a 4-day spanking. Now the 4-day spankings is given for dishnesty, drinking more than allowed (with accompanying poor behavior.) and name calling.

 

It’s a shame I did this too because I had a good week until Saturday night. I had only violated the 3-drink limit one day and had zero behavioral issues (no other rules broken).

 

I think from now on the punishments will be as bad as what she did this morning. She is very comfortable in her role now.

 

I asked Jackson for more details about their 4-Day rule. He responded:

 

The 4 day is something we came up with in our dynamic to address particularly egregious behavior (in her eyes). Of course, she has the power to change the rules at any time. Right now a 4 day is called for when I drink more than allowed AND that drinking is coupled with breaking other rules such as being sloppy, argumentative or interrupting.

 

The 4-Day is particularly severe because She is usually angry. Discipline is always a Real Punishment session designed to break me and push me down into complete and total submisssion to Her.

 

One thing I’ve noticed (I have received only 2) is that unlike a regular single day spanking there is no feeling of relief after. The guilt stays. The anger lingers for Her. The finality is not there until that 4th spanking. Also, not to worry if you cannot manage to do 4 consecutive days. On both of ours I was traveling mid-week, so we did Sunday and Monday and then Friday and Saturday. This was particularly awful since we still did our weekly check in on Sunday and She didn’t let me off the hook or go lightly on Sunday….Yes…be careful before you ask, and there is no going back. AND She might decide to add to the list of infractions that require a 4-day as Lauren has. I currently get a 4 day for name calling (I have not done this in 2 years since we started FLR/DD), drinking more than allowed with other rules broken and now dishonesty. I don’t think I’ll ever lie again. It really pisses her off.

 

I asked him to expand on whether the pain increased substantially over the four days. He explained:

 

“Dan…The pain factor for me is progressively worse but only slightly until the 4th day…by day 4 it seems like every swat is pretty excruciating until the numbness sets in and there I just get quiet, lay there and take it…it still hurts but the numbness has set in and so have the endorphins.”

 

I questioned Jackson at such length because (a) after failing yet again on my “no nightcaps after socializing” thing, I was thinking about how it might be treated more seriously in order to give me a bigger incentive to change; and (b) Anne and I have never done more than two days in a row for the same offense, and that has happened only a very small handful of times.

 

 

This wasn’t the first time that multiple spankings covering several days had come up on the blog, but it hasn’t been that often. I did find this one from DWC Fred:

 

“Ann has only spanked me for “big” things three times in recent years. Each resulted in multiple spankings spanning several days.

 

Once it was for being upset with her and expressing myself and carrying on badly. A couple of days later I apologized, and we spoke about it. I was in tears because of how I had spoken to her and made her feel.

 

After our discussion, she sentenced me to a spanking every day, for four days. They were horrible. From day two on, I was crying as I pulled down my pants and had difficulty calling Ann to tell her I was ready.

 

Four days in a row is a whole new ballgame, both from an emotional perspective and the pain perspective. Anticipating the increased pain and the additional embarrassment of crying from the time I pulled down my underwear and getting out of control by the time Ann was done spanking made days two, three, and four successively worse.

 

I’ve never repeated any of those offenses.”

 

I still recall the first time I read it, the phrase “I was crying as I pulled down my pants and had difficulty calling Ann to tell her I was ready” hit me especially hard.

 

As I said, spankings across several days for a single offense haven’t come up that often. I also couldn’t find many spanking drawings/captioned photos alluding to them.

 

What was much more common were multiple spankings on the same day or across multiple days as an especially severe punishment for doing the same bad act multiple times.  One of the first times I recall encountering those scenarios was also, as I learned later, by DWC Fred and it was posted on the DWC in the form of the “How I am Spanked” story in the Real People section.  It included these sections describing how severe such a set of spankings can be and how they hit emotionally:

 

My wife and I have been married for 27 years.  When I’m pulling down my underwear to prepare for a shower, I don’t feel anything.  When we’re being amorous, I’m aroused.  When I’m pushing down those briefs before a spanking, I am again 10 years old, knowing that as soon as they are down and my bottom is bare that I am seconds from my bottom being on fire.  Then I bend over.

 

Part of the spanking is yielding control.  When I bend over, with my legs spread over the corner of our bed, with pillows under my middle, my bottom crack opens up and the most intimate places on my body are on display.  I am beginning to be humbled.

 

When the spanking starts there is no warm up.  There is no attempt to get me used to it or make it easier to give a longer spanking.  This is punishment, meant to hurt, meant to leave marks, and meant to leave me crying and sobbing.

 

My last spanking, on Wednesday, was intended to be very severe, because it was something for which I have been badly spanked several times.  She decided that I would get 100 with our frat paddle, 200 with our wooden spoon, 300 with our small paddle with holes, and 400 with our bath brush.  These were not done all together.

 

He goes on to describe getting four separate spankings across the course of the day.  And, his spankings were spread out with three to four hours in between, which probably left plenty of time for the numbness to go away.

 

 

I’ve noticed that some of the websites/blogs that have ripped off the DWC website omit this story, probably because it depicts something of such severity.

 

Yet, it does seem to me there is a place for spankings like Jackson and DWC Fred describe, either for particularly bad behavior or for a series of incidents involving the same behavior, which the wife has tried to correct with single spankings but to no avail.

 

 

Having never experienced either scenario, I’m not sure what would be worse – multiple spankings on the same day, or multiple spankings spread out over three or four days.

 

I have been spanked two days in a row and, honestly, I was surprised when the second didn’t hurt exponentially more than the first.  But, I don’t recall whether the pain lasted much longer than from a single spanking. I suspect it did, but the last time was a few years ago, and I don't remember the details.

 

As I was writing this, it occurred to me that two spankings in one day were not uncommon all that long ago, at least in one particular context: getting spanked at school and getting a second one, just as hard or harder, at home that night.  

 

Although I didn’t personally experience it, I do recall that being the rule in many households when I was growing up. The school was, in fact, happy to facilitate it by sending a note home informing the parents of the spanking at school, which had to be signed and returned.

That would be hard to replicate as an adult, though I did find this captioned photo that suggested something like it, though you’ll all need to imagine the details underlying it:

 

 

I also was interested in Jackson’s observation that when a 4-day spanking was in play, there was no closure until after the last day.  I don’t know whether that would happen for my wife.  She doesn’t tend to stay angry for very long, and the fact is she’s generally not really angry about things like having too many drinks at night.  It’s more like mild disappointment, or just a business-like, practical belief that there needs to be a consequence for that kind of non-social drinking. 

 

As for any lack of closure I would experience, it seems like that would be kind of the point. The whole reason for dragging it out over a number of days would be to keep it front of mind longer and drive it deeper into the psyche so the memory of it would be more likely to nip future incidents in the bud.

 

How many of you have experienced multiple spankings for the same incident, whether in one day or over the course of multiple days? Did you find each spanking after the first harder and harder to take? Was your emotional reaction similar to what Fred describes, with an increasing sense of dread after day 1 both, in anticipation of the pain and also perhaps knowing that you might cry or embarrass yourself more?  Did one or more of the spankings, in fact, result in tears when you usually don't cry, or perhaps real sobbing instead of only a few tears? Did the message stay with you longer?

 

For the wives (or the husbands answering for them), what's her attitude during a multi-day spanking process? Is it as Jackson said - that she stays angry or annoyed until the end?  O does she, in sympathy, end up taking it easier on him at some point? Does it feel like a chore, or is there a certain satisfaction, even pleasure, in it? 

 

I'm never sure whether the people who do spanking drawings and captioned photos are predominantly men or women, but it occurred to me as I was choosing items for this post, a prevalent theme is the women not feeling the least bit sorry when delivering such a hard, but well-deserved, punishment. In fact, the subjects are made to seem like they are reveling in it.

 

Although we haven't done it (yet), I strongly suspect Anne would feel zero need to be merciful. It has nothing to do with being evil or sadistic. 

 

Rather, once she's decided something needs to be dealt with strongly, she doesn't seem to have any problem doing exactly that. In fact, I could see her feeling like she's giving me something that I've desperately needed--or at least had coming--for a long time.

For those who haven’t experienced it, is it something you think she should be prepared to do for tenacious bad habits or things she feels especially strongly about?  How do you think she would feel about it?  Have you asked or, like me, are you more than a little reluctant to go there?

 

Have a great week.