The Club - Meeting 507 - Authority to Spank for Third-Party Interactions

Discipline yourself, and others won't need to. John Wooden

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the female commenters who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  Mine seemed generally OK as I was going through it, but an outsider who isn’t into Domestic Discipline probably wouldn’t see it that way.  In a rare event for us, I got two spankings in the same week.  It was a consequence of two overlapping developments.  Anne surprised me in ordering a spanking for something that I thought didn’t really merit one in light of the whole context. She also brought it up as I was leaving to take care of something that seemed a lot more important.  I didn’t exactly refuse, but I certainly pushed back, and we got in an argument about it. She got angry and dismissed me without delivering the spanking.  I ended up apologizing relatively soon afterward, and the next time we were together, I got the first hard spanking.

 

The other, related development involved getting our weekly check-ins back on track, including using the weekly reporting form I highlighted here a couple of weeks ago.  When I filled out the form prior to our weekly session, I noted that the original misbehavior from earlier in the week had been addressed but the arguing/resisting had not.  Honestly, I probably could have spared myself the second spanking that resulted, simply by not pointing out that the two were separate, serious offenses and should be dealt with separately. But, I was feeling contrite about the arguing and felt there should be consequences.

 

It's been quite a while since I’ve been spanked twice within a few days. In the past, I didn’t feel like the second spankings were all that much worse, but this time it really was.  It definitely gave me an incentive to stop at—at most—one serious offense per week.

 

I thought we had a good discussion last week about the differences between DD and BDSM/Femdom, though I was a little surprised at how strong some of the views were.  I feel like I need to be clear that I don’t personally have any problem with BDSM or its practitioners.  Same with Femdom and Master-slave relationships.  They just aren’t what this blog is about, and I do get irritated when some newcomers ignore the disclaimers at the top of the blog and the DD-oriented content, and come wading in with comments replete with a bunch of very BDSM-oriented vocabulary and themes.  But, I do still credit people who are into BDSM with having the courage and freedom to explore their fantasies and give the finger to socially-imposed norms that might discourage such exploration.

 

As for this week’s topic, it comes from a suggestion Donn made a couple of weeks ago:

 

"How far outside your personal relationship with your wife does she extend her authority? In particular, what types of interactions with other people, third parties (not part of your immediate family) does your wife apply her "rules" and "expectations" for good behavior for? Verbal interactions with such outside people? Business interactions? Religious and moral affairs? Does your wife have some sort of broad standard, like "Never take unfair advantage of others," that she enforces for ALL of your behavior?”

 

I don’t really have a lot to contribute to this one, as the vast majority of my wife’s disciplinary authority is, in fact, exercised within the confines of our relationship.  When I’m punished, it’s almost always for some behavior that affected mainly her, or some personal failing or rule-breaking that didn’t effect any third-parties.

 

There have been a few exceptions.  A year or two ago, she got angry while we were out to dinner with another couple. She thought I was dominating the conversation.  The other wife is a personal friend and the only mutual friend/acquaintance who knows about our DD relationship.  The incident was notable for a couple of reasons. First, a day or two later it led to a very, very strong scolding followed by a hard spanking.  Second, at the time of the spanking she revealed to me that during a private moment at dinner she had told our friend that she was pissed off at my behavior and intended to spank me for it.

 

 

There were a couple of times, a long time ago, that I was spanked for something I said to one of the kids that she thought was hurtful or rude.

 

I can think of only one time that any kind of business interaction resulted in a punishment. I left a very nasty message for a business acquaintance over something I thought (mistakenly) he had done during the course of a matter we were working on for different clients.  I was both factually wrong and overly aggressive, though the guy was widely disliked in our professional community and my error was in-line with what many would have expected of him.  I actually don’t remember whether Anne spanked me for it, but I have a very strong memory of her forcing me to call and apologize to him.

 

 

There has never been any call to punish me for something like taking unfair advantage of others.  Same with things like being rude to waiters, waitresses, and other service providers.  I don’t have any tolerance for people who behave that way and would never do it myself. 

 

That’s about it for my personal experience on this topic.  One question I would add to Donn’s: If your wife does extend her authority to your interactions with third-parties, does the punishment involve those third-parties in any way?  For example, when I mistakenly accused the business acquaintance of bad behavior, my wife made me apologize directly to him, as he was the one I had wronged.  When she thought I was dominating a dinner conversation, she brought that friend into it by telling her what she intended to do to me, knowing that the next time we saw that friend she (and perhaps her husband) would know I had been spanked.  I recall being very self-conscious at our next get-together, because in being more careful about dominating the conversation, I knew that the friend might attribute my quieter demeanor to the spanking she had been told would happen.

 

 

And, of course, we’ve talked here multiple times about the fantasies some of us have regarding witnesses and some of us have assumed that it would be a much more emotionally powerful experience if a witness had been wronged in some way, such that the spanking was to correct or punish behavior that witness had experienced or been the victim of.  

 

So, tell us about far the wife’s authority extends outside your personal relationship.  If you’re willing, give some examples of how behavior toward third parties has resulted in being disciplined.

 

Have a great week