Sunday, May 26, 2024

The Club - Meeting 478 - Post-Orgasm Spankings

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.


I hope you all had a great week.  Mine was pretty sedate.  A lot of time spent preparing for an upcoming motorcycle excursion. Unfortunately, while the setting may end up looking like this, I doubt my traveling companion will:



Thanks to all of you who participated in our discussion regarding how BDSM and Domestic Discipline overlap, if at all, in your disciplinary histories and motivations.  It was a discussion that could have gone off the rails but was instead, at least in my opinion, thought-provoking and illuminating.  To me, it highlighted just how varied our predilections are, despite the strength of our shared in interest in DD. 


Near the end of the discussion, ZM observed: “This week’s topic is an interesting one. I am surprised it has drawn so little response, but maybe that is more a reflection on the time of the year and so on.”


I actually think the number of responses was okay, given the potentially controversial topic. But, I do think some seasonality has been in play over the last few posts, and it’s probably going to be worse this week, given the three-day holiday weekend here in the USA.


Therefore, given that many may be distracted this week, instead of creating a whole new post, I’m going to recycle an old one, in part in response to this topic suggestion from Anonymous:


However, post-orgasm spanking could be a completely separate topic. That if and how and how much it is used in relation to DD and what feelings or challenges does it cause? - Anonymous



We last addressed this topic a little less than two years ago, I kicked it off with these comments from K. and Alan:


K: J always has me climax before (rare) punishments and sometimes, but not always, before (more common) discipline/correction spankings (depending on how severe she wants to make the experience).


I absolutely hate it; It takes me completely out of the frame of mind where it's exciting and sexy, and the contrast between the "afterglow" feeling and the pain of the spanking is very stark. It's, I must admit, a very effective for her to make the spanking a real disciplinary event that I would NOT sign up for voluntarily.


But, interestingly, my MEMORY of those spankings are much more complex. I remember that my wife spanked me in a no-nonsense, definitely punitive way, and I find that to be a very erotic thing. So while it's not sexual in the moment at all, it reinforces something I find very erotic and and exciting.


I'm not RECOMMENDING it, but it does work for us in a way that's hard to explain.


Does that make sense?


I should also add: J isn't trying to make me miserable, quite the contrary, we want to make each other happy. But she feels that if she's going to discipline/punish me for something, it needs to be "real" and not something that I get pleasure or mixed signals from. And I have to agree, even if I hate it when she carries it out.


From K.'s description, it seems he and his wife have made the conscious choice to increase the level of "suffering" associated with a real punishment spanking.


Alan, while agreeing that post-orgasm spankings should be in a wife's arsenal, urged using it rarely.


K WRITES: “But she feels that if she's going to discipline/punish me for something, it needs to be "real" and not something that I get pleasure or mixed signals from.”


It is hard to disagree with her feeling about the “realness” of punishment. Making a man “cum” before punishment leaves no doubt that it is real. But I look at post orgasm spankings as the “nuclear option” to be used when all else fails, but not every time. I have experienced post orgasm punishment a handful of times and I do know how powerful they can be.


But for us, my wife can make a punishment spanking very real without making me cum before while holding the post orgasm out as an implicit threat if she feels it is needed.


I am not criticizing your wife or any other couples who use post-orgasm spankings routinely. And apparently some couples do use them regularly. Every couple has to learn what works for them, and I have heard the argument that spanking a male after orgasm often produces a shorter spanking and leaves less damage to the bum despite the pain. So it is actually more “merciful.”


Those arguments may well be correct and I have been convinced that administering post-orgasm must be in a disciplinary wife’s arsenal. But I do think it’s better to use it sparingly because removing the erotic charge (for us anyway) reduces that strong emotional bonding post-spanking can that makes DD so powerful.


(Responding to my comment that we have not done post-orgasm spankings and I kind of hope it stays that way): I agree with your sentiments with the caveat that if wife or girlfriend determines she wants it available, then it becomes a problem to make it a hard limit and still maintain a full DD or FLR relationship. I don't believe it is necessary but both women I have had a disciplinary relationship have bristled at the notion their authority was limited as far as using it. I think you have been fortunate that Anne hasn't used it and frankly I think I have been lucky that both women in my life used it very infrequently and mainly to make a point. However as K and several others report it MAY not be uncommon in female led DD relationships.


Personally I would like to see a fuller discussion of the practice: how many use it, how often, with what results, for what issues etc.


So, let’s once again give Alan and Anonymous that fuller discussion.  It’s not a discussion I can contribute much to, at least not based on any actual experience. It is an activity we have not engaged in (yet), and I am pretty glad about that.  I do recognize, however, that this might be one of those things where the rubber really meets the road regarding behavior correction.


I have no doubt that being completely relieved of the erotic or sexual tension and energy that may be bound up in the desire for DD leaves only pure punishment, and I can see it being option for very serious offenses if “lighter” forms of punishment haven’t worked.  


Also, it's just the nature of an orgasm to leave you feeling lazy and content -- about the last thing you would want after that is a long, hard spanking.  Of course, that is kind of the whole point of doing it that way.  I sometimes wonder whether removing all that energy would make it easier for me to get to real tears, but I kind of doubt it.  The two don’t seem connected, but I could be wrong.  


So, please let us know what your experiences have been, if any, with post-orgasm spankings.  If you haven't experienced them, what are your views on whether they should be incorporated into your disciplinary routine?  If you have experienced post-orgasm spankings, give us some details about how it's done and under what circumstances.  Also, one thing we didn't expressly address last time was the logistics.  Is there any specific procedure or ritual around the orgasm? Does it happen in her presence, as depicted in this drawing (which I think is by KD Pierre)?

I hope you all have a good week, and for those in the USA, hopefully you have a nice long weekend.


  1. If my partner punished me for ejaculating, then any punishment, even a stern comment, would feel counter-productive. Neither of us feels that an unwarranted or unscheduled ejaculation implies "unfaithfulness" so no pettiness is necessary.
    An ejaculation signifies that release was needed. That's all.

    1. I think you missed the point of the topic and the practice at issue. It's not about being punished for ejaculating. It's about using a pre-punishment ejaculation to make the punishment worse.

  2. I'm in the camp that has not ever had one, and I truly do not want one. Definitely a nuclear option. I do masturbate, but I find the idea of a post orgasm spanking so scary that I would not chance masturbating if I thought that I was due a spanking for anything else.

    1. Exactly the same attitude I've had about it.

    2. Mark said: … I find the idea of a post orgasm spanking so scary that I would not chance masturbating if I thought that I was due a spanking for anything else.”

      That is precisely the power of it. A woman's power comes not so much from using it but from having the authority to use it -and choose not to use it-- or use it in limited ways.


  3. My wife has been using post-orgasm spanking as punishment since I introduced it to her. I sometimes think that I shouldn't have done it at all, but what's done is done. She doesn't use it every time, but about half of the times when it comes to some more serious or repeated violations or major tantrums. I usually never know that in advance. When the day or evening of punishment has arrived, she usually tells me to satisfy myself immediately before spanking and then prepare myself. Until satisfaction, there is still some anticipation of the punishment, but it disappears immediately after the orgasm, and then I would like to do everything to avoid this punishment, but I have to accept it. Yes, the punishment is at least twice as painful after that in my opinion, and it always ends in tears for me. Before, I was never brought to tears. Certainly, this kind of punishment is much more real, because it is really the kind that you would like to avoid, but which cannot be avoided and must be accepted. I know some here think it would be abuse, but isn't that what we're all after here, to make these punishments as realistic as possible. We want our wives to be our disciplinarians and hold us accountable for our bad behavior in a way that is as strict and realistic as possible and actually makes us better husbands. Post-orgasm spanking is definitely one way to make it more real. There is one more thing, if sometimes after being punished I have thought after a few moments that maybe the punishment could have been more painful or longer, but after post orgasm spanking you are already sexually satisfied and such thoughts no longer come to mind. Somewhere in the comments it was said that post orgasm spanking can be shorter to be effective. Yes, sure, just a few minutes of intense spanking can give exactly the same result as 10 minutes in the normal way, and I also agree that in this case there will be less injuries and bruises. All in all, I can say that even though I sometimes hate that she tells me to satisfy myself before punishment, it has an important place in domestic discipline and I think it shows a willingness to truly submit to your wife's authority and prove that what she is doing is not just fulfilling your fantasies, but instead a real discipline.

    1. Thanks. If this is a new commenter, would you please give yourself a name or initials? Or, perhaps this is a current commenter who just forgot to identify himself.

    2. Yes, I am a new commenter, but I have been reading your blog for years and I find it very exciting and necessary. I will use initials P.P. in future.

  4. Sorry to be off topic but that 1st pic of the woman on the bike is amazing Dan !

    1. Yeah, I stumbled across that one recently.

    2. Careful, if Anne sees that you could earn a post orgasm spanking! 🫣

    3. Thankfully, while she has a jealous streak, it doesn't seem to extend to women she knows I don't have a chance in hell of ever meeting. And, while she's more focused on the dangers of motorcycling than I am, I'm pretty sure she doesn't think there's much danger of me encountering a hot, nude female biker on the trail. :-)

  5. While I understand the premise, the idea of a post orgasm spanking has no appeal to either of us. It seems we are on the lighter side of discipline than most of the contributors in this group. While she has certainly given me numerous disciplinary spankings in the past, now I am pretty much housebroken, and don't drink as much, which has changed everything. We did have sex one morning, and a few hours later I was out doing errands and she sent me a photo of the toilet seat up, and ordered me to come home immediately for a spanking. I was actually glad she did that, as I often have told her I want her to be consistent and strict when I break a rule. It was surprising to me that the spanking was still mostly a sexual experience for me, and she was doing exactly what I requested.

    1. "I was actually glad she did that, as I often have told her I want her to be consistent and strict when I break a rule."

      That's what I've always told Anne, though it's only been recently that is becoming our reality.


    2. Likewise. I have been pushing for consistency and think we’re actually making some progress on that front now. My primary issue is not drinking as seems to be the case with several others here, but the occasional inclination to get snappy with no good reason - she calls it my four-year old. I’ve been asking for some time that this should be an automatic punishment - no exceptions. There was an episode a few days ago and I received a very hard spanking this afternoon - exactly as I’d been asking for. The memory of that is going to keep me very attentive to my irritability for quite a while. Anyway, on this week’s discussion, we have used post-orgasm spankings for punishments for many years, not always - and not actually today, but I’m certainly familiar with them and have commented on them previously. You specifically asked if it happens in her presence or not. I think this is an important question and the answer is absolutely yes. I’d say that masturbation is a pretty private activity so requiring it to be done while she watches just reinforces the whole vibe of dominance and punishment. She can also drive the orgasm herself if she chooses and if you haven’t experienced that, I can say that it is a very different experience. Very mechanical and business-like, the normal physical reaction but with none of the emotional that you’d normally expect. It’s over very quickly and the spanking starts immediately. In fact, if you are bent over something suitable rather than OTK, especially if restrained, you might be in position before the forced orgasm. TBH, I prefer OTK and that is more usual for us, but I have had punishments like that - usually with the cane. TG

    3. While it was not for that reason, I have been called and ordered home for an immediate spanking. This is in line with our concept of punishment immediately after the infraction or as close as possible. She told me to strip as soon as I entered the house and I was told why and then spanked. She told me to think about it for awhile and finish my errands the next day.

  6. Not sure if this is too far from the topic, but I tend to get pre-orgasmic spankings instead. We acknowledge that DD has a sexual component and so it serves the dual purpose of being foreplay for both of us. Also, this is so that the sex can be "make-up sex" for whatever my infraction(s) was/were. It feels more intimate, knowing that they have been dealt with. It would feel different if I knew something else was coming.

    Yes, we have a routine. After going to the bedroom, I bare my buttocks for a spanking. Afterwards, I undress to my underpants and then the same happens. I then remove my pants. She tends to be wearing clothing similar to the lady in the picture with a brown background. We then have sex, during which the CFNM setup reminds us of the dynamic (me being naked and vulnerable, her being in power). Is this the sort of routine you were thinking of? Could I give any more details to make the explanation clearer?


    1. Hi J. She has given me many pre orgasm spankings. The intimacy from the spanking has often led to great sex. This makes perfect sense to me, so thanks for bringing up the idea.

    2. Norton,

      Out of curiosity, how would you go about explaining the intimacy that a pre-intercourse spanking brings?


  7. I think I've written this here before, but I find the idea of post-orgasm spankings to be exciting when it's the wife's idea, and she imposes it as an intentional condition to make the spanking more punishing, and as an alternative to an increase in physical severity. That makes her a very powerful and thoughtful authority figure in my mind. I would not like this method at all, but that's what DD is to me — the more authentic the punishment, the more fulfilling the reward.

    Do I think post-orgasm spanking is necessary? No. It was never needed when I was an adolescent. I had the disciplinary spanking fetish then, and in no way did it make the punishment easier to take. I don't believe my wife acting as the disciplinarian would change that. The only big difference I wonder about is the consensual part. I may have less at stake to deny punishment from my wife. Without the sexual motivation at that moment, would I submit? I don't know for sure.

  8. It's a holiday period but I'm glad to have checked in on your website. As I've posted a couple times before, post-orgasm discipline is very effective for us. Like many folks who post here, we almost always have intercourse as part of the reconciliation and after care following a disciplinary session. And that is usually preceded by me pleasing my wife orally. We always feel much better afterwards.

    We’ve always recognized that spankings are inevitably, at least for us, and inextricably related to sex. If not directly, certainly indirectly. The closeness and trust they require are conducive to sex and, of course, they can be very stimulative even if painful.

    After several discussions about this topic over the years, we agreed to give it a try this past January. The change is remarkable. I now know that almost immediately after my climax, I will be required to bend over and receive a prescribed number of cane strokes at her discretion. Are these hard to take – you better believe it! Am I completely contrite and remorseful? You betcha! A strong motivator for better behavior? More than you can imagine.

    But there is another benefit that we never contemplated. My wife had never been an enthusiastic disciplinarian. She did it mostly because I thought it was a good idea. This has entirely changed her. After my first post-orgasm spanking, she agreed that it should become part of our regular routine. Any significant punishment spankings from now on will include a post-orgasm component whether we next have intercours. Maybe only a good six of the cane for minor offenses, but it could be many, many more at her discretion based solely on her assessment of the offense.

    Her dramatic attitude change may have occurred because, like probably all of the wives here, she was never going to truly hurt or damage me in any manner during her disciplinary sessions no matter how hard they were. She was also keenly aware of the sexual component even if it was unconscious.

    A few additional notes and disclosures for those who are interested. The orgasms for us happen as part of the make-up session; i.e., I’m not required to masturbate (at least not yet). Second, though the preceding may sound ghastly, she would never truly hurt me in any way. That’s one reason why the post-orgasm idea works. Her spankings are always hard, but post-orgasm is so much more difficult without upping the intensity. Third, we sometimes use spankings for fun embellishments of board games, billiard, ping pong, etc. We know that some folks here also do this, while many of you don’t. For the former group, the use of post-orgasm discipline can be particularly effective in clearly distinguishing fun from discipline.

    Folks have wide variations and there is certainly no single right way. But if you’ve ever been curious, give it a try. What I can absolutely guarantee is that it will change your perspective whether you decide it’s for you or not for you over the longer-term.

    Thanks for the topic.


  9. While my wife indulgs my need to be spanked on occassion (very rare occassion) i do try to live by all the vanilla (for lack of a better term) aspects of an FLR. I focus on meeting her needs, being a good spouse, etc. However over the years I have meet with disciplinarians (some pros / some life style) to be soundly spankede. I use to see a life style spanker for severa years (covid ruined that) and we would focus on things like working out, eating right, being a better spouse, etc. More improvement in life, then punishment.

    However, one time i said something rude to my wife (in 30+ years together, this has occured less then 3 times; not that I am making an excuse for unacceptable behavior). I went to my spanking friend, told her that i wanted a full on, no warm up, very unpleaseant punishment spanking because of what I did. And before I meet my friend that day, I released myself to make sure any hint of sexual excitement (though these sessions there was no sexual touching at all) was removed from my body.

    That was by far the worse spanking I ever had in my life. Terrible. Maybe the only spanking in my life that i didn't fantasize about after it happened. I literally hated every minute of is. It was so bad, i thought I was 'cured" of my spanking fetish. I didn't think about spanking for about two weeks after that spanking (and like many of you i think about it dozens of times a day).

    So that was a long way to get to my belief, that in the rare occassion, a real spanking is earned, having the spankee release before the spanking could be (it was for me) very effective. I would also think that a women seeing that you are not erect , would know you are talking this seriously and it is not fulfilling some sexual fantasy.

    1. This post and the two earlier ones above help me see this more from my wife’s point of view (and my former GF’s): Delivering it after an orgasm is easier for them, it can do less damage to you, and it can be extremely effective.

      Both my disciplinarians have felt, too, that any a priori limits on it were abridging their authority. That might be the most important aspect of it to them.

      One other thing emerging here so far seems to be a kind of bi-modal distribution between women who demand it as part of their authority and women who have little or no interest in it. This discussion is really helpful


    2. It may be antithetical to many tenets of DD, but the more I've thought about the relationship over the years, I've come to realize that there must always be an underlying sexuality for us. If her purpose is to make spanking more effective as discipline, she does so in service of the desire that we are creating a more exciting relationship for both of us. If all she gets out of it is power and control, it's not for me. She is under no illusion that a spanking for me is not my sexual fantasy. It is also her fantasy. The belief is that arousal is not incompatible with punishment.

      Even if I went to a professional disciplinarian, I would have to believe she was doing her job for more than the money. The purpose of a post-orgasm spanking is to make the legacy of a difficult experience more exciting, not less.

  10. We have never used post orgasm spankings in either of my 24/7 FLR's. Can't say why but perhaps neither of my Dominants wanted to. I was spanked once for jerking off for my own pleasure, but it was not immediate. She found out later and the tirade of how my body, all of it, and its contents belong to her, for her enjoyment began. It ended with a severe spanking and I never have committed that offense since.

  11. Dan asked: "[W]hat are your views on whether [pre-punishment orgasms] should be incorporated into . . . disciplinary routine[s]?"

    I can't answer for every couple's particular situation and dynamic, but my wife believes there is one basic philosophic element / tenet of effectively practicing DD that seems to require this, or something very similar. There is also some practical reasons to incorporate, specifically, pre-punishment orgasms (PPO's; possibly a new acronym?).

    When my wife started her own investigations of DD, and began thrashing me to modify my behavior, she quickly realized she needed some method to determine how intense to make a punishment. (This is a question that I've heard many other women (and men in M/F DD-dynamics) express, and struggle with, in forums and blogs for many years.)

    My wife quickly settled on a practical solution: It doesn't matter how intense the initial punishment is, provided (1) it is clearly not "funishment" or "erotic" (no surviving erections), and (2) it can later be "escalated" when needed for recalcitrant misbehavior. Basically, that sooner or later, when dealing with continuing misbehavior, the intensity (and possibly repetition) of punishments will eventually reach "high-enough" levels that the frequency of misbehavior will diminish and eventually extinguish.

    Thus, one of my wife's basic elements / tenets of practicing DD: A disciplinary wife must have the ability to "escalate" punishments, as needed, to control and eliminate misbehavior.

  12. For most disciplinary wives, such "escalation" can be easily accomplished: (1) Thrashing with greater force; (2) Thrashing with quicker "tempo" (e.g.,, neurological "pain wind-up"); (3) Thrashings of longer duration; (4) Thrashings with more painful types of implements (5) Thrashings with heavier / thicker / faster versions of particular implements; (6) Thrashings multiple times per day, or over multiple days, upon "pre-tenderized" targets. (With my wife's chronic wrist injury, she has trouble using most of these methods [except #4 and #6].)

    Regardless, all wives' have limits to physical escalation. My wife and myself (and apparently most of us) agree there should be no permanent scarring, injury or disability in our "domestic" discipline. Agree that basic healing should usually occur with one week, and rarely take more than a few weeks for the deepest bruises. Plus, it can be really, REALLY difficult for my wife to administer such extreme thrashings; yes, physically hard, but particularly emotionally hard.

    Since all wives must work with the "no permanent injury" constraint, it can become necessary to use the offender's "perception" of the punishment to achieve the "escalation." From BDSM, my wife's common methods of enhanacing my perception are (1) pre-punishment "sensory deprivation" to reset / lower my sensory "baseline" (e.g., isolation; blacked-out rooms; ear-plugs; hoods; etc.), (2) pre-punishment orgasms (PPO's), and (3) sensory deprivation (e.g., vision and sound) during punishment to concentrate my focus onto the tactile "sensation."

    A pre-punishment orgasm (PPO) can be escalatory either through (1) a prior threat or warning to deter/control behavior ("If you "XXXX" one more time I'll make you climax before using my 'reformatory cane' on your ass!"), and/or (2) actual orgasm immediately before punishment. (My wife agrees with Alan's statement above, in that she wants the option available! She wants the "nuclear deterrent" well established After my wife's first couple PPO punishments, I was well aware - a "true believer" -- that she could and would escalate as far as needed. Now, without her even saying something, I KNOW she can and will sometimes escalate to such levels.)

    However, my wife believes that many "escalations" are NOT necessary if other techniques are used in parallel with physical punishment. In particular, she strongly believes in methods to increase my subconscious mind's participation in punishments. She believes, from both training and experience, that punishments are most effective (especially for subconsciously ingrained "habits") when my punishment occurs close in time and location to the infraction. When that is not possible, or my punishment is otherwise delayed, then a combination of initial "secondary punishing" tokens / demerits, and her later verbally guiding me to "visualize" and relive the time, place and actual infraction during my punishment, also engage my subconscious.

    Finally, for extremely recalcitrant misbehavior, before possibly resorting to "Full Escalation," my wife tries to search out any factors (events or situations) that might somehow be either "triggering" or "rewarding" my misbehavior. She tries to not only reduce misbehavior through punishment, but to "de-energize" my misbehavior by removing anything that might be initiating, encouraging or rewarding it. Basically, attacking the problem and reducing misbehavior from "both ends.")

    From my experience, my wife tends to "mix and match" all of these techniques, sometimes using only a few; other times, all! Many times I do not understand her internal reasoning, but I think she likes to keep that way. Keep me, my knowledge and my behavior "on edge" has it's own value in maintaining correct behavior. (Really, she feels no obligation to explain her methods and ultimate goals of her disciplinary programs. I trust her skills and ultimate good intentions.)

  13. Dan asked: "If you have experienced post-orgasm spankings, give us some details about how it's done and under what circumstances."

    I recall explaining several weeks ago two reasons my wife will "fully escalate" into combining a PPO with an extreme implement: (1) Direct (in her presence) "insubordination;" and (2) Refusal to immediately accept punishment. (She has used it in other situations, but those two were her first uses, and unfortunately have had to be repeated a (very) few times. I think she chose those two to best facilitate compliance with all other parts of our DD-dynamic [as well as firmly establish her "nuclear deterrent"].)

    Dan further asked: "[One] thing we didn't expressly address last time was the logistics. Is there any specific procedure or ritual around the orgasm?

    The "Practicalities?"

    When disciplinary training is scheduled, or punishment is delayed, my wife will take a comfortable seat and have me kneel naked in front of her, hands interlocked on head (CFNM; somewhat like KD Pierre's drawing above). She will question me about how WE got here (this situation) and how WE are going to solve it. She asked if there are any "facts" of which she may be unaware. She expects my complete honesty and cooperation. Sometimes these meetings turn into "mini-therapy sessions," with her digging deep into my own self-analysis of why a particular misbehavior occurred, or is repeatedly recurring. Finally, she wants me to fully agree with her decision as to the "solution;" that "her solution" is what's best. She requires that I sincerely, specifically, verbally ask, in great detail, for "her solution."

    Once my wife is satisfied we are in full agreement, she will direct me to prepare:

    If there will be a PPO, I am directed to go to our bathroom and start a slow stream of very hot water from the basin spigot; I should place the bottle of hair conditioner, bottle of liquid soap, and a small scrub-brush on the edge of the basin. Then I am to close the door and turn-off all lights.

    Next, I am to stand directly in front of the basin, on my tip-toes, with my thighs pressed against the front edge, thus allowing my genitals to hang over that edge into the basin.

    Finally, I am to fold my arms, high across my back. There I must wait for her, holding position.

    1. @ Donn, I am in total agreement with you statement a HoH should be able to escalate punishments at her will. We use all the numbered ( 1-6 ) methods of escalating punishments you stated in your post. Here we have a 3 level prescribed punishment for many different offenses. Escalation is moving to the next level, which encompasses one or more of the 6 you listed. Multiple spankings per day separated by short intervals or several consecutive days of spankings is not uncommon here. We both also agree on your other mantra that no permanent scarring, injury or disability should result from the punishment. Healing which could take a week is about right in most cases and I thoroughly trust my Dominant partner and her ability to administer a just punishment, as harsh as it may be, without causing any permanent or prolonged physical harm.

  14. My wife once beat me straight after sex… she said she got it around the wrong way!! It was not dramatically more painful than usual but we both agreed that it was more appropriate to punish first & make up/ make love after. She will often refer to my ‘need to be spanked’ and how ‘I need a good spanking’ whilst we are in the throes of lovemaking. It is a tease and I find it a considerable turn on!

    She is aware that a post orgasm spanking has the potential to be more painful but to date she has not actively pursued this (except as above). I have no interest in being punished in the way, I have always been open with her about the sexual element in DD for me and that removing that somehow undermines the powerful relationship management dynamic of spanking. I sometimes think that I accept the pain, the submission because of the underlying sexual tension. Even when she straps me hard & long (most times!) that tension is there. Without it, I have no interest. TB

  15. Removing the sexual element somehow undermines the powerful relationship management dynamic of spanking. Without it, I have no interest. That expresses my feelings exactly. My partner will also talk about spanking before or during sex, as it always is a turn on for me. On another topic entirely, sometimes I know she would really rather not feel obligated to spank me, but she does it anyway, because she loves me and knows I need it. Without ongoing, regular spanking, I become less grounded. It's just part of my makeup which she accepts, and she has become very competent at being able to give a good, hard, spanking. Not sure how common that dynamic is for others, so it may be a possible future topic.

  16. Dan:
    I believe one of my comments was sucked-up be Google's SPAM Filter.

    1. Never mind; I reposted. -- Donn

  17. My wife likes to give me erotic spankings and then we always make love.
    I asked her to give me real spankings to punish me for bad behavior and to help me improve
    She doesn't understand my request, but sometimes gives me severe ones. Not to punish me, but to dissuade me from asking for more! My butt once got severely red after I received a speeding ticket.
    As she worried about having to hit harder and harder, I told her about post-orgasm spanking, which according to your testimony would allow her to really punish me. I promised her I would accept if she decided to use it.
    One night, just after my orgasm, she said to me laughing “so now is the time to spank you?» She turned me around and gave a series of slaps on the buttocks which made me squirm and beg for mercy, which amused her greatly. It didn't amuse me at all, I confirm I didn't want it and it stung badly.
    Since this experience she often threats me, and we have agreed that she will ask me to masturbate in front of her just before the next real spanking.
    Was I reckless? I'm excited about this next spanking but I'm hesitant to provoke it ! My behavior has improved a lot :-)
    French spanked hubby.

  18. I've written about this before - but to add to the weekly discussion on the topic, I will will revisit my previous thoughts. First, the idea of a post orgasm spanking does not appeal to either my wife (thankfully) or I. And, in fact, that would be a hard limit for me. I realize that might seem to some to contradict the fantasy/idea of consensual non-consent of a true disciplinary wife spanking lifestyle, but in truth, we all have limits and boundaries that we operate within, even if unspoken.

    While I had fantasized about F/M DD since puberty, the idea of a post orgasm spanking had never once crossed my mind - I would not have even understood the appeal of such a fantasy. And, when I did first come across the idea in the spanking stories that I began to read on the Usenet when the Net came online for the public in the 90's, I was sure that it must be only in fantasy - and was genuinely surprised many years later -when on this Forum, I found that a number of the participants in that discussion had experienced an intentional post orgasm spanking. I have since, however, appreciated reading the discussions and how it does appeal to some - even if I still don't actually grok it - and will simply fall back on the kink mantra of "Your kink may not be my kink - but your kink is ok".

    As I did share before, early on in our spanking lifestyle, I did "inadvertently" receive a post orgasm spanking because it just so happened that I did something that my wife judged to merit a spanking just shortly after an orgasm. It was absolutely, horribly truly miserable. After that experience (and my wife was sympathetic - she does get the idea of the "psycho sexual tension" involved in submission to real DWC spanking) - we agreed that spankings will always be at least an hour after orgasm (I have found that an hour is sufficient for the tension to begin to reestablish itself).

    Different strokes - different folks. --al

    1. Al
      In my experience, men don’t bring it up—at least, I never did. My wife knew about it from prior relationships, and my former GF discovered it similarly to the way you first encountered it. Both women who have disciplined me would have accepted it as a hard limit while not being comfortable with that position. My wife’s position is that it should be something she can use if she thinks necessary. My former Gf’s position was that putting it off bounds was a limitation on the authority “You told me was unlimited”

      Our ongoing agreement is that my wife can use it in a couple of clear and well-defined situations. But she would be happier if there were no limits, not because she would use it often but because it is a powerful deterrent. I can’t disagree with the latter.


  19. Post orgasm spanking isn't something that my wife and I have discussed, but I can see how it would eliminate any aspect of pleasure from the punishment. To this day, I often get an erection before the spanking begins and of course that's not lost on my wife. She's called it "cute", but also wondered aloud if I needed to take care of that before the punishment begins. During one lecture, she questioned whether I was paying attention and handed me a tissue. I declined, and the spanking proceeded. I don't think she was thinking about using masturbation to heighten the pain level, and I certainly wasn't going to make that suggestion.

  20. We have done it few times. It's extremely painful and not exiting at all. Currenyly we do not practice it despite one situation - when I'm ordered not to orgasm and I do orgasm anyway. But then I must say it's a very justified punishment.


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