The Club - Meeting 478 - Post-Orgasm Spankings

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  Mine was pretty sedate.  A lot of time spent preparing for an upcoming motorcycle excursion. Unfortunately, while the setting may end up looking like this, I doubt my traveling companion will:

 

 

Thanks to all of you who participated in our discussion regarding how BDSM and Domestic Discipline overlap, if at all, in your disciplinary histories and motivations.  It was a discussion that could have gone off the rails but was instead, at least in my opinion, thought-provoking and illuminating.  To me, it highlighted just how varied our predilections are, despite the strength of our shared in interest in DD. 

 

Near the end of the discussion, ZM observed: “This week’s topic is an interesting one. I am surprised it has drawn so little response, but maybe that is more a reflection on the time of the year and so on.”

 

I actually think the number of responses was okay, given the potentially controversial topic. But, I do think some seasonality has been in play over the last few posts, and it’s probably going to be worse this week, given the three-day holiday weekend here in the USA.

 

Therefore, given that many may be distracted this week, instead of creating a whole new post, I’m going to recycle an old one, in part in response to this topic suggestion from Anonymous:

 

However, post-orgasm spanking could be a completely separate topic. That if and how and how much it is used in relation to DD and what feelings or challenges does it cause? - Anonymous

 

 

We last addressed this topic a little less than two years ago, I kicked it off with these comments from K. and Alan:

 

K: J always has me climax before (rare) punishments and sometimes, but not always, before (more common) discipline/correction spankings (depending on how severe she wants to make the experience).

 

I absolutely hate it; It takes me completely out of the frame of mind where it's exciting and sexy, and the contrast between the "afterglow" feeling and the pain of the spanking is very stark. It's, I must admit, a very effective for her to make the spanking a real disciplinary event that I would NOT sign up for voluntarily.

 

But, interestingly, my MEMORY of those spankings are much more complex. I remember that my wife spanked me in a no-nonsense, definitely punitive way, and I find that to be a very erotic thing. So while it's not sexual in the moment at all, it reinforces something I find very erotic and and exciting.

 

I'm not RECOMMENDING it, but it does work for us in a way that's hard to explain.

 

Does that make sense?

 

I should also add: J isn't trying to make me miserable, quite the contrary, we want to make each other happy. But she feels that if she's going to discipline/punish me for something, it needs to be "real" and not something that I get pleasure or mixed signals from. And I have to agree, even if I hate it when she carries it out.

 

From K.'s description, it seems he and his wife have made the conscious choice to increase the level of "suffering" associated with a real punishment spanking.

 

Alan, while agreeing that post-orgasm spankings should be in a wife's arsenal, urged using it rarely.

 

K WRITES: “But she feels that if she's going to discipline/punish me for something, it needs to be "real" and not something that I get pleasure or mixed signals from.”

 

It is hard to disagree with her feeling about the “realness” of punishment. Making a man “cum” before punishment leaves no doubt that it is real. But I look at post orgasm spankings as the “nuclear option” to be used when all else fails, but not every time. I have experienced post orgasm punishment a handful of times and I do know how powerful they can be.

 

But for us, my wife can make a punishment spanking very real without making me cum before while holding the post orgasm out as an implicit threat if she feels it is needed.

 

I am not criticizing your wife or any other couples who use post-orgasm spankings routinely. And apparently some couples do use them regularly. Every couple has to learn what works for them, and I have heard the argument that spanking a male after orgasm often produces a shorter spanking and leaves less damage to the bum despite the pain. So it is actually more “merciful.”

 

Those arguments may well be correct and I have been convinced that administering post-orgasm must be in a disciplinary wife’s arsenal. But I do think it’s better to use it sparingly because removing the erotic charge (for us anyway) reduces that strong emotional bonding post-spanking can that makes DD so powerful.

 

(Responding to my comment that we have not done post-orgasm spankings and I kind of hope it stays that way): I agree with your sentiments with the caveat that if wife or girlfriend determines she wants it available, then it becomes a problem to make it a hard limit and still maintain a full DD or FLR relationship. I don't believe it is necessary but both women I have had a disciplinary relationship have bristled at the notion their authority was limited as far as using it. I think you have been fortunate that Anne hasn't used it and frankly I think I have been lucky that both women in my life used it very infrequently and mainly to make a point. However as K and several others report it MAY not be uncommon in female led DD relationships.

 

Personally I would like to see a fuller discussion of the practice: how many use it, how often, with what results, for what issues etc.

 

So, let’s once again give Alan and Anonymous that fuller discussion.  It’s not a discussion I can contribute much to, at least not based on any actual experience. It is an activity we have not engaged in (yet), and I am pretty glad about that.  I do recognize, however, that this might be one of those things where the rubber really meets the road regarding behavior correction.

 

I have no doubt that being completely relieved of the erotic or sexual tension and energy that may be bound up in the desire for DD leaves only pure punishment, and I can see it being option for very serious offenses if “lighter” forms of punishment haven’t worked.  

 

Also, it's just the nature of an orgasm to leave you feeling lazy and content -- about the last thing you would want after that is a long, hard spanking.  Of course, that is kind of the whole point of doing it that way.  I sometimes wonder whether removing all that energy would make it easier for me to get to real tears, but I kind of doubt it.  The two don’t seem connected, but I could be wrong.  

 

So, please let us know what your experiences have been, if any, with post-orgasm spankings.  If you haven't experienced them, what are your views on whether they should be incorporated into your disciplinary routine?  If you have experienced post-orgasm spankings, give us some details about how it's done and under what circumstances.  Also, one thing we didn't expressly address last time was the logistics.  Is there any specific procedure or ritual around the orgasm? Does it happen in her presence, as depicted in this drawing (which I think is by KD Pierre)?

I hope you all have a good week, and for those in the USA, hopefully you have a nice long weekend.