Tuesday, December 3, 2019

The Club - Meeting 321 - Holidays

"Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a holiday humor, and like enough to consent."  - William Shakespeare

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.  I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving holiday, for those in the U.S. 

I realize I am getting this post out later in the week, but it also may stay up as the current post for a while, as we some family events this upcoming weekend that may make posting a challenge.

My holiday was good.  Relaxing, with lots of time with family and also quite a bit of solitary time, which for me as a pretty strong introvert is a necessity for any genuine recharging.  From a behavior perspective, it was a mixed bag with real progress in some areas but some real problems in others.  The positive surprise was on over-indulging.  Despite being off for a week and in an environment where drinks were flowing very freely, I tapered my own consumption down to almost zero.  Some of that was conscious, as I’m seeing a pretty direct correlation between alcohol consumption and some of the nagging physical problems I’ve been attributing to aging.  But, I’ve also found that when I take real time off from work, my binge behavior drops precipitously.  So, a lot of the bad behavior during the usual press of job and career looks a hell of a lot like self-medicating.

On the not so great front, I was having some real problems with temper both before and during the vacation.  I had a major, long-term, fairly contentious work project come to a close right around the time we left for vacation. Bringing it to a close involved a lot of travel, many very long days, and some pretty tense conversations.  It left me pretty frazzled and without a lot of patience for some of the everyday frustrations I encounter in an organization of our size.  I found myself getting far more snippy with people than I normally do and crossed some lines I generally set for myself about trying not to “punch down.” 

Worse yet, I got frustrated with Anne a couple of times over things where she was just trying to check on some planning I was doing and arrangements I was making to make sure I got them right.  Which I hadn’t. She definitely owes me a very substantial spanking for these “temper” issues, particularly the attitude directed her way.  Unfortunately, it probably has to wait a full week, as I had to go back on the work road the day after we returned from vacation.  Although I absolutely agree I have a hard spanking coming, I think when it comes to temper spankings are more about penance and accountability than about behavioral change.  

At least for me, when frustration boils over it happens so quickly that the damage is done before I can do much to check myself.  Though, is that maybe a rationalization or excuse?  Quite possibly, and the only way to really test that is for her to crank up the punishment and consistency on temper and attitude issues and see what happens.

  
So, as we enter this holiday season I’ve made some progress in some areas, but it’s a mixed bag.  Though, a “mixed bag” is better than an abject failure.  The holidays are just a hard time to really keep behavior in check.  So many temptations.   


Office parties.  Family gatherings.  Many, many opportunities for bad behavior, whether over-indulging on booze, diets and health falling by the wayside, or getting into political arguments with relatives over Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners.  

 
My behavior almost always deteriorates this time of year. How about you?  Does your behavior get worse this time of year?  In what ways?  Have you and your wife found any creative ways to deal with that?  We’ve talked before about “preventative” spankings, i.e. spankings that take place before an event as a reminder to behave.  Have you tried them before things like an office holiday party?  Have they been effective? 


Do you have another special measures you’ve implemented to keep behavior in check during the holidays, or are there any special rules that apply this time of year?

Have a great week, and behave yourself!

45 comments:

  1. Hi Dan
    I have written before of the special challenges of the holidays which I believe are mostly underlain by stress for both of us. Preventatives have drastically cut down on the post behavior punishment but the preventative itself is a significant price to pay for lack of self discipline.We are at the point where we have reached a solution for my holiday behavior that we both can live with although she has made it plain she would much ether avoid the shortness, tempter tantrums and uncontrolled mouth and is comfortable issuing a preventative when it is likely to occur. In the first year or two of our relationship she did take care of things in her family home ( upstairs bedroom" but eventually her mother while not forbidding her to handle me that way strongly discouraged it. I.E the public nature of it, not the spanking which her mother endorses)That was one of the reasons we tried preventatives.Btw I would like to suggest a future topic area if I may be so bold which you will be much better at focusing that I. But over the past year I have noted a real split between men who identify as Alphas and incorporate DD withing that framework -and men who identify as submissive and approach DD and FLR's more or less as a "Beta" males.These very different dynamics ( alpha vs beta male) seem to lead to different female led relationships with the latter using less corporal punishment. It might be interested to get into this because it seems a basic dichotomy in our community

    Alan

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    1. Hi Alan,

      I don't know whether my holiday challenges result mainly from stress, or from a plethora of opportunities. Maybe a bit of both.

      I apologize if you've covered this before, but is your wife's mother also a spanker? Of grown men, I mean.

      We've done something similar to that topic, though it's probably been quite a while. Though, I think in the past we addressed the relative split between people who were dominant in their "real" lives versus naturally submissive both inside and outside the home, but not really how that dichotomy was reflected in the use of corporal punishment. So, good suggestion and I'll do it soon.

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    2. My wife's mother was not a spanker but approves strongly of my wife's use of it.
      Alan

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    3. I have some alpha tendencies, so i do need periodic reminders that i really am a beta male. We have one out of town friend that visits his family, which are near here, over the holidays. My wife stays in touch with him, and always seems to find time for us to get together and for him to help with my beta training. Just the apprehension is enough to ensure i am well behaved this time of year.

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    4. Dan
      Thanks for the consideration on the proposed topic.I think we are all attracted to and respond to female authority but the way it is or isn't exercised seems to matter.From other blogs and simple observation of other couples, some women appear to be in control without either the treat or reality of corporal punishment as a sanction. For others and I am firmly in that latter camp, the absence of the spanking possibility would significantly change my behavior ( to the detriment of both of us))I don't think I would obey or behave without it while volumes of blog testimony suggest men who identify as "submissive" respond to female authority without the need for corporal punishment
      Alan
      Alan

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    5. that's "threat", not "treat" -Freudian perhaps.( note to self:proof read what you write)
      Alan

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    6. I don't know whether the threat necessarily has to be a spanking for me, but I do think there needs to be some coercive mechanism. Like you, I wouldn't respond to a show of authority without something to back it up.

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    7. Alan, that is fascinating - that your wife's mother knows that your wife gives you disciplinary spankings. Since she discouraged your wife from giving you spankings in her upstairs bedroom because of the public nature (easy to overhear), then she has also obviously overheard the spankings as well - I would imagine. That would be an interesting dynamic.

      As we've discussed, my wife's sister has witnessed (and later even participated in) my spankings, but I think that I would have found it quite embarrassing if her Mom knew the whole story (she passed a couple of years ago). While my wife did not hesitate to mention spanking me in front of her Mom, my wife always assured me that her Mom took in metaphorically (or in jest) - but I really don't think that my wife would have cared if her Mom did take it literally - regardless of how embarrassing I found it. But, thankfully, I did not have to deal with that dynamic. I'm sure that eventually, though, it would have just been a fact of life. I would guess that it has become simply that to you as well? --al

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    8. I will add, Alan, that is also interesting that her Mom endorses her giving you disciplinary spankings. Situations like this sometimes make me wonder if - despite our own potential embarrassment of being "out" about being a spanked husband - that a great many women who are a bit older (say 35+) really would have no issue with the concept. A recurring them in these DW forums is that many wives who are asked to become disciplinary wives, while perhaps reticent at first, quickly come to appreciate the advantages of being a disciplinary wife. I do suspect that my late mother-in-law would have approved as well. --al

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    9. Hi al,
      I am not sure my mother in law ever overhead a spanking. She knew they happened because my wife told her and apparently was concerned that other family members might overhear or wonder why we disappeared in the middle of a conversation to return later with me probably looking pretty sheepish (just an aside: a previous girlfriend thought she could tell when her own father had been spanked by the way he acted and moved)My mother in laws support for my wife's use of discipline was probably based more on her desire for her daughter to assert herself and be safe since she was in an earlier marriage that was at least somewhat abusive.In any case she never said anything directly to me or witnessed a spanking in our home. That is not true for my wife's sister who I have written about earlier and that experience seems to parallel many you have had with your own sister in law.
      Happy Holidays
      Alan

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    10. I tend to be pretty closed off with extended family when it comes to talking about anything personal, and I truly cannot imagine any of my family knowing. I would find it truly mortifying. I wouldn't care that much (I think) about my MIL knowing, but largely because I just don't care what she thinks about much of anything. She is a nice person, but her political views piss off both me and my wife, and she has a habit of voicing her opinions on child rearing too freely for my wife's tastes.

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  2. Our situation is more on the preventative side of things. Holidays , travel etc create stresses that cause me to go off a little. Dev will handle as she sees fit. She now reads this site routinely and at a minimum always has at least a hairbrush close by. Most spankings are now timed. They start at five minutes and go up in duration. JR

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  3. We used to do 'preventives' but as Rosa's pre-party anxiety has worsened over the years, I now find myself resistant to the idea. In the past, I knew how "I could get".....and Rosa, who seemed to always keep an even keel, did a fair job of moderating my mood swings and impatience. Now though, I feel like I'm putting so much 'extra' effort to try to cope and minimize her dark mood shift (which can put mine to shame) while still executing all the things that need to be done, that the last thing I want to hear after all is said and done, is some declaration from her that my behavior was somehow not up to standard.

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    1. I totally understand how it wouldn't work for someone to hold you to a standard they aren't meeting themselves. It's interesting that our evolution has been the opposite on this one. I initially didn't like the idea of preventative spankings, because it didn't quite seem fair to punish someone before they actually did something. What changed for me was just the practical reality that they seemed to work. She hasn't done them often, but when she has they definitely had an impact on my behavior.

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  4. We go on hiatus from discipline over the holidays. It lasts from the weekend before Thanksgiving to a couple of days after Valentine's Day. I can get him to dress up for me, but, no discipline and chastity only for security purposes. We agreed he can't be disciplined for anything he does during that time.

    I like rituals, so, a couple of days after Velentine's Day, I have him dressed in basic lingerie, you know, panties, bra, garter belt, stokings, pumps and a slip. I sit him down and remind him what I allow and won't allow and the consequences. I present him with a list of offenses that will bring discipline and have him acknowledge it. This is because sometimes he's said "Wait, I didn't know I could be spanked for that,,,,,". I take out the list, and he has to acknowledge he was warned.

    He usually pushes it on the days. His pornography habit does get higher during the holidays, but, he always pushes it past our little ritual date, so he's panties down and across my lap pretty fast. And yes, the severity of that first session can get influenced by what he did during the break. .

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    1. Hi Miss Cecilia,
      We have rules I have to follow or I will get spanked but you can't always think of every offense there is and put it into rules so my wife has the liberty to spank me for any reason she feels like. I might do something that gets her angry and even though it's not on the so called rules list I will be spanked and I don't dare argue with her because in the end I will be spank and it will be harder if I argue. She always has the last say.

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    2. Oh, no, Dan, it's not possible to put down everything. Those rules are just things he's guaranteed to get disciplined for. I've had to discipline him for things not on the rules, and it's my call, but before administering discipline, I make sure he understands he should have known better.

      When we "discuss" his infractions of "unwritten rules", he's always dressed for discipline, since it makes him less arguing and more submissive. Besides, I just like him in makeup, lace and ruffles.

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    3. Miss Cecila,
      Yes that's how my wife does it but I will never question why I am being spanked. She will inform me as to why I an being spanked. I am always dressed or should I say undressed for discipline. When my wife informs me I am going to be spanked I have to immediately get naked and stand in the corner until I am called to her side for a lecture or scolding. Then I am placed over her knee where I get more scolding while the paddle is cracking down on my behind. When she feels she got her point across it's rapid fire whacks until I am crying and she is satisfied I feel remorse.
      Keep up the good work.

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    4. Hi Cecilia,
      Not sure why you suspend discipline from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day. Doesn’t’ that just encourage bad behavior during that time because he knows he won’t be punished for It.? That period is exactly when I and apparently quite a few other husbands get in trouble most often. So I am just curious what your reasoning is. BTW I agree with you strongly on the importance of ritual in DD. It just seems to make everything work smoother.
      Alan

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    5. To Dan: That's why I put "discuss" in quotes. I do most of the talking, he does most of the listening and all of the apologizing and pleading. I'll let him ask why and I'll even offer an explanation, perhaps even twice, if I think he really didn't know I wouldn't like what he did, but, in the end, he doesn't often get out of discipline. If nothing else, it's "because I said so" and "to make sure you'll know to not do it next time/again". He's not too argumentative when he's sitting there in lace, makeup and perfume, which is one reason I have him dressed like that.

      To Alan: It comes from the early days of our relationship. From what I'm reading here, we're unusual because it was me who introduced discipline into our relationship when he was still my boyfriend. He just said he needed a break from all this at the Holidays and I agreed.

      Yes, his bad behavior will go up during the holidays, but, two things have kept it to a minimum, lately. One is he knows the severity of the first few Disciplinary Sessions after V-Day can be worse if he's really naughty over the Holidays. While we agree he can't be disciplined for anything he does during the break, he compares it to a lawyer in a courtroom who asks a question he knows he's not supposed to. The judge might tell the jury to not pay any attention to the question or answer, but, at least one or two jurors still do. The biggest thing, though, is because of me introducing Discipline into our relationship, he's learned how much some things displease me which he doesn't intend to do. This keeps his naughty behavior to a minimum during the break.

      I used to put up with a lot from men before him, because I thought I had to to keep a boyfriend. It was completely opposite to what I'm like at work. He showed me I don't have to keep quiet about something I don't like and I can do something about it, too, and it won't drive him away.

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    6. Thanks Cecilia
      The break idea is certainly interesting. Since he requested it that suggests your disciplinary practices are very effective with him. I think I would run wild if given that much time off but you must have found the key to reining him in when it’s needed
      Alan

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    7. One thing I did get him to give on even during the holidays was dressing, I used the sexual angle and he knows I just love him in lace and ruffles, anyhow. If we're going to a party or some event where he might get out of line or drink too much, I ask him to underdress and he usually does. Sometimes, it takes a little prodding and I have to get suggestive, but, usually I win. This keeps him in line, usually.

      Another thing I do, if he's home by himself, especially if I'm at work, I'll ask him to put on something, prance in front of the cameras and I can watch it on my phone. Then I'll ask him to leave it on. He's always been an honest guy, so if he says he will, he usually does. If he does take it off, he'll tell me. It's one of the times he'll volunteer something. Generally, he thinks like he doesn't have to volunteer something, but, if I ask, he tells the truth. He makes an exception for when he said he'd do something, and it's not under "duress" (that's what he calls it. He defines "duress" as being under discipline or in chastity), he'll let me know he didn't do it. He doesn't feel he has to volunteer something like looking at pornography, although if I ask him, he will tell me if he did. He doesn't clear his computer history, even though he knows I'll check it from time to time. He does both of these knowing when I find pornography, he goes under discipline, in chastity or both.

      I can keep the pornography to a minimum when I ask him to show off for me and leave the underwear, dress, nightie on after I go. He doesn't look at pornography on his own when he's dressed, at least not that I've seen it.

      I suppose you could say I have silk or lace chains or bonds on him.

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    8. Some of your methods might be unusual but you sure have your guy under control
      Alan

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    9. Cecelia: "He showed me I don't have to keep quiet about something I don't like and I can do something about it, too, and it won't drive him away." I think it worked that way for my wife too and was a big benefit of DD.

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  5. Happy Holidays All! Like Alan, and as we've discussed before, preventative spanking has been a standard operating procedure at our home for a number of years - and because of the number of parties and family events, there are always some during the holiday season. Just before we left Sunday morning to drive several hours to our holiday week destination, I received a very significant preventative paddling that was reinforced by having to drive on a sore behind for several hours.

    When we are going to stay with family (as we were doing for the Thanksgiving week), it is a given that I am going to receive a preventative spanking prior to the trip. Additionally, she also packs the "DWC mini-cane" (that Aunt Kay used to sell on the DWC site - we refer to it as the "switch" - although occasionally she has me fetch real switches as well). With the switch, she can discipline me relatively silently in our guest room if the need arises - and it did - twice - on this trip. Family events are so challenging.

    We will have family coming to our home for Christmas, and I have no doubt that there will be another preventative spanking just prior to their arrival - and in all likelihood I will slip up and earn a switching at some point during visit. As I said - the family events are challenging.

    Interesting observation, Dan, on the differing dynamics you have observed regarding alpha vs beta husbands in DWC marriages. I had not really considered the point before, but my initial thought is "yeah, probably" (in my own observations from haunting forums such as this for a couple of decades). But definitely food for thought.

    Again - Happy Holidays All!

    --al

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    1. Very happy to hear that your DWC implements are still being well used. They are in homes all over the globe :)

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    2. Just an addendum to my post above:

      First - The "interesting observation" comment should have been directed toward "Alan" not "Dan" - my apologies. And it is an interesting observation.

      Tomy - yep, all four of the implements we purchased from the DWC are still in my wife's arsenal. As I mentioned, the mini-cane is used in situations when a low noise level is necessary. "Old Reliable" is still one of her favorites, and "Holy Terror" also gets a fair amount of use as well.

      And, a comment on my use of the term "preventative" - and it is interesting to see that so many other DWC wives also make use of this practice. We use the term "preventative" by itself to refer to a spanking given before a specific event or occasion - a "remember to be good spanking - because you'll get an even more severe one afterwards if you don't". It also serves the purpose of putting me in a more humble and less arrogant state of mind before the event - as well as a reminder that my wife is the one who swings the paddle and that I would do well to follow her lead and instructions at the event.

      We use the term "preventative maintenance" spanking to refer to scheduled periodic spankings (weekly, in our case) which serve to maintain and reinforce the principle of maternal discipline in the home. A weekly reminder of who is in charge of disciplinary matters in the home - that helps maintain harmony in the home. I know that some couples finds this practice helpful - while others do not. --al

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    3. What I found interesting about the small number of preventative spankings she have given me is that is not so much the implicit threat of "you'll get a worse one later if you don't behave" that helped. It was that sitting on a sore butt just made me generally more aware of my behavior, so I was able to moderate myself better in the moment.

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    4. Yes - sitting on a sore butt - I inadvertently left that out, and that definitely ties in with the "more humble state of mind". --al

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    5. I agree as well. I get paddled before work every Monday. I am very polite in our Monday morning management meeting as I sit on a burning butt. By Friday (or earlier) my arrogance is creeping back in.
      Arthur

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    6. Maybe we need to institute something like that. But, I travel so much and generally fly very early, it's hard to work that kind of ritual into our lives right now.

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  6. We never considered the idea of preventative spanking. I'm not sure how I feel about it. In a way it feels like a method to build up a "bank account" of discipline that then gives me license to misbehave later.

    Our families are too far away to visit or be visited by during the holidays. We spend them alone together. From my perspective, these times are no different than any other time of year. I'm just as likely to do something naughty now as I would be in March or April.

    A couple of people mentioned the duration of a spanking as a way to control severity. I will ask Mrs. Lion how she feels about this. Our multi-day approach has an issue for us: If, I commit more than one offense, by the time I get spanked for that offense rolls around, we've both forgotten what I was being punished for. If the punishments have to be postponed because of physical issues or scheduling problems, the situation is even worse. Maybe spanking duration would be a better approach.

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    1. I agreed that long gaps between misbehaving and getting spanked for it really diminish the effectiveness.

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  7. Hello all and Happy Holidays. Several points struck me as I read the posts above. First off, Dan, I agree with you when you stated temper control or loss of, often happens before we realize it and the damage is done before you can correct it. My last thought as I cool down after a flare up is 'I'm going to be spanked for that' and I do.
    Holiday time does not cause me any more than usual behavioral issues as some above have pointed out, but the holidays and whoever may be present during them does not affect the punishment I receive. We were away with friends for the Thanksgiving holiday weekend and I received one of the worst spankings ever, which everyone heard.
    On the topic of preventative spankings,my current Dominant is not in favor of them, however my former was. Not so much holidays, but nearly every time we planned to be out with others. Perhaps a party of just a dinner engagement or even an evening out, I would receive a spanking to remind me to behave. The preventative spanking put me 'on guard' the rest of the evening. However, if I did slip up, the punishment afterwards was much worse and laced with 'you were warned to behave' remarks. An interesting topic and it will spurn many a comment or story.

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  8. Most of the spankings I give Art are preventative. I am planning one before our Christmas gettogether with my family because of Art's behavior over Thanksgiving. He made a rude comment to my mother regarding her political beliefs.

    While he realized it immediately and tried to calm the waters, I still took him to task, and quite severely, during our Monday morning session this week. He agreed during that session that a reminder is in order before the family gets together again. However we still need to work out the logistics because our children will not be in school. We do our sessions after they get on the school bus. For that reason holidays are usually a reprieve for my husband. But not this year.
    Liz

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    1. I get lucky regarding political beliefs and family. My parents beliefs about the current administration are generally in line with my own. My wife's parents are on the other end of the spectrum, but they don't bring it up much around me.

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  9. My wife is a new disciplinary wife and knows nothing of preventative spankings. But if I introduce them to her I imagine she will take to them with gusto! I also imagine they would improve my behavior but not my comfort. Hmmm ...
    Anton

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    1. Don't fret too much about whether you should introduce them to her. Soon enough she will discover them for herself assuming you exhibit patterns of misbehavior that play out over and over in public or are so repetitive they are predictable. They are really counter-intuitive -that being spanked for something you haven't done is going to improve behavior. But they really do work.
      Alan

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  10. Joe2 here,

    Holidays and vacations do not cause me stress, only work responsibilities and requirements. It used to not be that way.

    Before my wife spanked me, I tried to do it all, but that was a fools errand. When I realized that everything was falling apart, because I was trying to do everything, I decided that I had to make major changes in what I was doing.

    In a fingernail sketch: My wife is a stay at home wife, so her major focus is on the family. I make all of the money, so my focus is on supporting the family. Therefore, I make the living and she makes life worth living. If I have the ability to move workload around, I do according to the needs of the family. She involves me in areas that need support and assistance. For instance, she has complete control over the money. I haven’t paid a bill in years. I only have a vague knowledge of how much money we have at the bank. However, I have complete control over our investments, because I am interested in it and she is risk adverse. When it comes to the kids, we are always in agreement, the only friction is in a matter of degree, e.g. when do they get cell phones.

    Upon deciding that my wife was in charge of making life worth living, I defer to her on where we go and long we stay, except I do have veto power. If we drink too much at an event, we get Uber or a cab. Please do not misunderstand me, I can be a sarcastic jerk (It is a lot of fun.). The difference between then and now is when I do it.

    So now if we are late, because my wife is incapable of being dressed on time, I read a book or look on the internet. If we miss our restaurant reservation- not my problem. If a family member who is politically different from me wants to discuss politics, I will, but I realize that I cannot convince them otherwise, so I just state my opinion but stay emotionally disengaged.

    Please realize that this metamorphosis took years, but it works for me. Since my wife spanks me, I can unwind the stress spring. It is not perfect and there will always be friction points, but my life is so much better.

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    1. "I haven’t paid a bill in years. I only have a vague knowledge of how much money we have at the bank. However, I have complete control over our investments, because I am interested in it and she is risk adverse." This is our arrangement exactly. Until recently, I didn't even know how to login to our bank or credit card accounts on-line.

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  11. Hi Dan,
    Sorry for my lack of participation for a few weeks. I haven't forgotten about the narrative on when my wife decided I would be in tears and how she made it happen! However, I just haven't had any time to write yet.

    Regarding the holidays, I am not sure that my behavior changes much around the holidays, at least not for the worse, especially since I drink very, very little (almost not at all, but occasionally a bottle of beer or glass of wine). At the same time, I think her tolerance for my annoyances increases around the holidays. After she was single for a number of years following a highly disfunctional marriage, she is mostly just happy and grateful to be in love and to have someone to spend the holidays with (and I feel the same way!).

    Anyway, our domestic discipline has been pretty much on hiatus since the end of summer, since we really have had NO opportunities at all. And now, with the holidays, I think we have even less of a disciplinary mindset. If we do anything at all, it is likely to just be playing around. I expect that after the first of the year, when our time alone situation changes a bit, we will hopefully get DD going a bit more regularly again.

    -ZM



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    1. Hi ZM. I wish I could say I drink very, very little. The last couple of weeks have been the exact opposite of that. Went from indulging minimally on vacation to maximally as soon as I was back on the work roller coaster. Pretty dysfunctional pattern that I need to finally break in 2019.

      DD hasn't played much of an active role for us lately either. Like you, we just haven't any real time alone.

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    2. Hi Dan,
      Before you can do much about it ,you need to take a deep dive into why you drink especially work related drinking.Knowing why you do it is a giant step to putting it under control.The hairbrush is a great re-inforcer when you know why a behavior is occurring AND really want to curtail it.I think I have actually learned that from reading your blog and the accounts of some couples who have tackled tough problems -and believe me drinking is a tough problem. I am no paragon of virtue and am not preaching. As recently as Thanksgiving weekend I got my ass well warmed to grabbing an extra when she didn't see it. But I know why I did it and eventually that and her hairbrush will prevail
      Alan

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    3. Hi Alan. Ultimately, it's a complex question. One of my parents had similar issues for a number of years, so I don't doubt there is some genetic component. I also think that my intensity runs so high and I'm just naturally so over stimulated most of the time, alcohol actually takes me to a state that for others is their "normal," if that makes sense. I also tend not to have a normal "off switch." But, the work-related part of the equation is mainly as simple as ample opportunities. Last week, I had three straight nights of events that were work-related and that I really did need to go to. And, I would have been the only person not drinking at these dinners and small-ish gatherings. It's kind of an alcohol soaked profession, and my role entails a lot of social obligations

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