Hi all. I hope you had a great week. We've had some good discusssions lately, getting at the roots of how people think about their DD and FLR relationships, what motivates them, etc. With summer upon us though, let's switch gears a little and take things in a slightly lighter direction.
I finished my work week with a little diversion. A night at the movies, which is a luxury I haven't had in awhile thanks to a hellishly busy work environment. But, by Friday I had hit the inevitable wall and needed an escape. Following through on that escapist bent, I went to see Mad Max: Fury Road. One of its predecessors, The Road Warrior, is one of my personal favorites for testosterone-laden escapist adventures. (Probably because in addition to my other vices, I like to go fast, in just about every aspect of my life, for good or bad.) This latest contribution to the series is, however, a little different and reflects some of what we have been talking about recently in terms of gender roles and expectations and how they impact leadership. One reviewer characterized the movie as "a kinetic, hallucinatory, boldly feminist chase flick," which sums it up pretty well -- but who would have thought "boldly feminist" would appear in the same sentence with "chase flick." But, there it is, and it's accurate.
As with most really good movies, this one doesn't tell, but shows. The lead character, by the end of the movie, really isn't Max but, rather, the female protagonist, Imperator Furiosa, played by Charlize Theron. She is the real "road warrior" in this flick. But, more than warrior. Leader. In this male-famale adventure match up, she is clearly the stronger player, in terms of both warrior-ing and leading. There is a great scene where the bad guys are coming, the good guys are down to three bullets. Max fires the rifle twice. Misses twice. He hesitates for a moment, then hands the gun to Furiosa, who fires and hits. It is a subtly powerful scene, with the warrior Max handing over the power to someone he knows is his better. And, like many really confident leaders, she doesn't demand or force. She lets him figure out that she is better than him in this area, allows the time necessary for him to make a free choice to hand leadership over to her and, once he does, she performs. Again, a lot going on in that one scene.
But, enough about that particular flick, particularly after I just said I wanted to go more light-hearted. This week's topic is about DD, FLR and similar power-exchange lifestyles in the movies and literature. What is your favorite movie, book or television show with such themes? Or that explore female leadership in positive or interesting ways?
Have a great weekend.
Dan
I finished my work week with a little diversion. A night at the movies, which is a luxury I haven't had in awhile thanks to a hellishly busy work environment. But, by Friday I had hit the inevitable wall and needed an escape. Following through on that escapist bent, I went to see Mad Max: Fury Road. One of its predecessors, The Road Warrior, is one of my personal favorites for testosterone-laden escapist adventures. (Probably because in addition to my other vices, I like to go fast, in just about every aspect of my life, for good or bad.) This latest contribution to the series is, however, a little different and reflects some of what we have been talking about recently in terms of gender roles and expectations and how they impact leadership. One reviewer characterized the movie as "a kinetic, hallucinatory, boldly feminist chase flick," which sums it up pretty well -- but who would have thought "boldly feminist" would appear in the same sentence with "chase flick." But, there it is, and it's accurate.
As with most really good movies, this one doesn't tell, but shows. The lead character, by the end of the movie, really isn't Max but, rather, the female protagonist, Imperator Furiosa, played by Charlize Theron. She is the real "road warrior" in this flick. But, more than warrior. Leader. In this male-famale adventure match up, she is clearly the stronger player, in terms of both warrior-ing and leading. There is a great scene where the bad guys are coming, the good guys are down to three bullets. Max fires the rifle twice. Misses twice. He hesitates for a moment, then hands the gun to Furiosa, who fires and hits. It is a subtly powerful scene, with the warrior Max handing over the power to someone he knows is his better. And, like many really confident leaders, she doesn't demand or force. She lets him figure out that she is better than him in this area, allows the time necessary for him to make a free choice to hand leadership over to her and, once he does, she performs. Again, a lot going on in that one scene.
But, enough about that particular flick, particularly after I just said I wanted to go more light-hearted. This week's topic is about DD, FLR and similar power-exchange lifestyles in the movies and literature. What is your favorite movie, book or television show with such themes? Or that explore female leadership in positive or interesting ways?
Have a great weekend.
Dan
Great topic! I have some initial thoughts but don't be surprised if I revisit this with additional posts through the week. Anyway, while I'm sure it's not the first, I recall "Alien" being the first time I recall seeing a female character that wasn't running away only to fall from a broken high heel. Lt. Ripley was (believe it or not) a real bad-ass and a hottie! My crush on Sigourney Weaver was born.
ReplyDeleteThere aren't too many movies that deal with actual DD, especially from a FLR angle, and those that have shown dominant women with passive, submissive men have been less than flattering to the notion. But I'm going to ponder this topic a bit more and post again.
Can't wait to see what other come up with!
I missed Alien when it came out, so I didn't develop the Sigourney crush. But, I've seen it since agree she was a bad-ass and, you're right, probably one of the first female action heros.
DeleteI have a "thing" for Sandra Bullock. My personal favorite is the "Miss Congeniality" duo, especially the second one, where she accepts herself as she is klutzy and tomboyish.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up "Kill Bill" Vols, 1 and 2. Okay, it's a Quentin Tarantino film, so you can count on lots of blood and violence, but all the women in these movies are strong and opinionated, whether they're likeable or not. They also have a very human side, and have endured some sort of hardship, but they make it through those things and still have some humanity in spite of the fact that they're killing machines. Add to it that there's a "happy ending" of sorts, and I'm hooked.
Neither of the movies focus on a FLR, but the fact that these women are strong and intelligent, and are unapologetic for being who they are is encouraging to me.
I used to have a girlfriend who would watch "The Witches of Eastwick" when she was angry at men, and I agree that it's a great female revenge movie.
DeleteHi Merry. I love Tarantino but haven't seen the Kill Bill series. Will have to add that to the list. Love The Witches of Eastwick!
DeleteDan
ReplyDeleteWhat a great topic. We just caught Mad Max the other night and Theron was magnificent as was the well written script. I also loved Sigourney in Aliens as I was growing up. My choices are varied as what I adore comes from different aspects of me as a woman.
1. From tv love the character Beckett the detective on Castle. Great mix of sexy and smart.
2. Mrs Robinson in the Graduate.. loved seeing even as a teen an older woman using sex for fun.
3. Auntie Mame as that character was both feminine and wise enough to use her wiles to seduce.
4. Gloria as played by Gena Rowlands in the Cassevette's version of the movie.
5. Zoe Saldana as Neytiki in Avatar.. strength and brains and beauty
anna
All these women show strength , brains and beauty without ever losing their female essence
I caught the end of a movie once - I don't recall the title or even the overall plot - in which the "boss lady", perhaps a Hollywood type executive, sat down on a chair (I think it was outdoors, perhaps by a private pool), pulled up her skirt, parted her thighs, and motioned for (or ordered) the man near her to kneel between her legs and service her - which he promptly did. It's been several years and I wish I could remember more details - if anyone happens to know which movie this is, please let me know. But, I recall finding the scene very erotic and powerful - still crosses my mind occasionally.
ReplyDeleteIt reminded me of a scene in another movie that I had scene (about the the life of Marilyn Monroe, iirc) in which the producer had required the actress to drop to her knees for a blow job as part of her audition - but with the roles (appropriately) reversed. --al
I was out of the country last week on business - so I regret missing last week's lively discussion. For the record, if I hypothetically found myself single, I would most definitely hope for a relationship in which my lady enjoyed F/M DD. An interesting point, though, is where this would rank in importance when looking for a long term partner. What if everything else was a great match - but she just had no interest in spanking. How big a factor would that be.....
ReplyDeleteI also enjoyed the tangential discussion on the spectrum of Femdon/DD/FLR - this topic pops up regularly in the forums it seems - the different strokes for different folks arena - "my kink is not your kink" kind of thing. I agree it would make for a great weekly topic. For the record, as I'm sure I've posted before, Susie and I are a typical "modern equal partnership marriage" - with the exception that we have both agreed that she has the authority to use corporal discipline in our marriage as she deems necessary and her sole discretion - without any question on my part - which includes a weekly maintenance spanking. And spanking, per se, is very much a part of the disciplinary process - Susie enjoys spanking me, plain and simple. And I find myself very much relating to Alan's point that he made last week on this topic - the spanking itself is very much part of it - craving the discipline, finding myself weak-kneed with butterflies in my stomach when told to assume the position, but unable to resist her authority, wishing the spanking was over much sooner that it actually will be, yet strangely fulfilled when it actually is done. --al
It is a shame that the blog format is such that when a topic gets 'pushed' the conversation under it dies. Might help a lot if there was a box on the front page showing recent comments, so that if old conversations pick up people will know. Blog and forum concepts should be wedded together.
ReplyDeleteAs to your comment, I like to think of myself as a judge, but not judgemental. I like to understand things, what makes people and relationship-dynamics tick, not just shrug my shoulders and say 'people are different, C'est la vie'. That answer feels unsatisfactory to me. I like to know where someone is coming from even if I don't share that viewpoint. I like to know _why_ I don't share it. I think teasing apart the differences can help people to know themselves better, and that can't hurt.
- Rob
Rob - the various forum formats are helpful in keeping numerous threads alive at once, of course. There was an excellent such F/M DD forum a few years back that was going strong and had archived many stories, but then the provider suddenly went out of business, so all was lost. Still, given the format available, Dan has done an excellent job in making his "blog" more of a forum - and it's good to see so many regularly contributing. But you are correct - when the next blog is up, the prior blog post becomes simply an archive, albeit an interesting one. This is why I have taken the liberty a couple of times to post my answer "late" in the following week - hopefully that is not a distraction to anyone.
ReplyDeleteI do take your point about a desire to understand others motivation and approach - I also find that interesting. Why is that we do what we do? Unfortunately, however, there are those who believe that only their approach is the true one - and that other approaches are diluted and less than pure (sounds a bit like religion). So, I personally find it useful to remember that - at least from my perspective - that is not the case. --al
The "late" postings are not a problem, and to some extent it is preferable to do it that way, because I often don't remember to check the "comments' function in Blogger to see if new comments have been posted on older posts. Every once in awhile, someone posts something interesting and I don't see it for days or weeks. But, I actually kind of like this format more than the forum threads, because I think it does encourage more regular participation, even if not every topic appeals to everyone every week.
DeleteDan
DeleteYou are right.... keep at it the way you are doing!
anna & peter
And I take your point. I try not to oppress people or tell them that what may for them be a blissful arrangement is wrong--simply because I wouldn't like that done to me. Then again, if someone asked, if it were solicited, I think could present arguments for why I think it should be done a certain way. If it's to even be 'discuss-able' then there has to be some element of objectivity, even if it's mostly grounded in personal preference.
ReplyDeleteWhat was that forum if I might ask? I am wondering if it can be found on the wayback machine.
While on the subject of defunct websites, did anyone used to follow the maamyesmaam blog? That was the best. In fact it spoiled my appetite for spanking porn, as the vivid, potent stories scorched an image in my brain, after which, I noticed the lack of chemistry in so many of the videos I used to get enjoyment from. I really hope those allegedly true stories are real (not sure why I care), and the amount of circumstantial detail made me think so. Then again it was so well written that it's one of the few cases I'd tip my hat even if I did learn it was made up, although I'd feel a little cheated too. It would be nice of someone could repost them.
- Rob
The now defunct website in question was XS Orbit - a site that offered free (and anonymous) basic forum hosting with an option to upgrade to more features for a fee. They went out of business during the last economic downturn. The forum, iirc, was simply called the "F/M Spanking Discussion Board". --al
Deletethank you
Delete- Rob
That blog has had a couple of reincarnations and seems to be in a prolonged stasis. It is still up somewhere but last time I looked had not been updated for months or longer. And yes it was very good, consisting of long autobiographical posts dealing with his introduction and experience with F/M spanking. For what it's worth I thought it was real and my nose is pretty good for the authentic
ReplyDeleteAlan
I'm aware of the reincarnations, although all the old postings are gone and there's little activity in the new. I think his blog influenced a lot of people and it's a valuable historical record, the old site deserves restoration. I have some, but not all posts saved on my hard-drive, but I would not reupload them without seeking permission first (nor would I know where to post them). In fact I idly wondered if he nuked the blog himself because he divulged too much personal info.
Delete(p.s. I often wondered why some people didn't reply to comment chains properly and placed their post at the bottom, throwing things out of whack... seems in fact that blogger is bugged and breaks the threads apart by itself, so if you're reading this out of context then you know why)
- Rob
I was thinking about Dan's initial inspiration for this week's topic and I thought it was not that surprising that a strong female lead would be in a Mad Max movie. While the original was a low-budget testosterone rampage, Road Warrior showed a few Amazonian warrior-women, but Thunderdome introduced an actual female leader in Auntie Entity played by Tina Turner. Though she was technically the 'villain', one could argue she was merely strong and pragmatic. As counterpoint the lost tribe of kids had a strong female leader as well.
ReplyDeleteI still can remember Turner derisively evaluating Gibson's Max with, "he's just a raggedy man."
Both my husband and I are fans of old movies. If you haven’t watched many you might be surprised at how many “take charge “women appeared in the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. Barbara Stanwyck was one who projected complete authority in many of her roles. Joan Crawford was another but she was apparently a bitch in real life so she doesn’t interest me so much. My husband’s favorite is Dianna Rigg who starred in the Avengers on television. I agree with him. She exudes control and confidence in her work. My husband believes she must have been a dominant with the moves she had. I don’t know about that but she looks to me like she could handle any man she needed to handle.
ReplyDeleteMarisa
Your husband has grat taste. I loved Dianna Rigg in Her Majesty's Secret Service. Favorite Bond Girl ever, and the only one he ever married. Which speaks volumes about the attraction of dominant women!
DeleteDolly Parton 9 to 5. Tied up the boss. In one scene even had him on his own domination wheel in his bedroom
ReplyDelete