“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.” - Oscar Wilde
Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club. Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.
Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the female commenters who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.
I hope you all had a good week. Mine was kind of rough. I’m limping around with a painful, swollen knee, yet I can’t identify a thing I did to injure it. I got some blood tests back after an annual physical, and my scores are worse than last year on all the biggies, even though my diet and exercise don’t seem any worse than last year, other than my exercise routine was interrupted earlier in the year from an injury. Aging really isn’t for sissies . . .
And, I’m posting a day later than usual because I spent most of yesterday in the vet’s office with an injured pet. Between his bum leg and mine, we make an interesting conjoined pair when walking next to each other.
Anyway, that was a long lead in for what will be shorter than usual post. I have some extended family visiting this week and don’t have time to do anything very long and detailed. But, I don’t want to skip posting entirely, as I may have to skip next week. Therefore, this simple topic suggestion from Glemore is a good fit for this distracting week:
“Does your wife dress specially for your spanking, with heels stockings, leggings, etc.? If not, would you like her to?
Let’s expand it a bit to how both parties dress for a spanking and to what extent those clothes stay on during it.
For us, the answer is pretty straightforward. Anne wears whatever she happens to be wearing that day, and it all stays on during the spanking. She dresses fairly casually most days, so she’s usually in a pair of jeans and a casual top of some sort.
I’m almost always in jeans and a casual shirt, but doesn’t really matter since almost all our spankings occur with me completely naked.
I don’t know whether that’s typical. When looking through my collection of drawings and pictures, I was a little surprised that pants down but not off seemed to be the most prevalent.
Second most prevalent was probably pants off but shirt on.
Fully nude seemed to be a distant third, even though it probably was the one most prominently depicted on the DWC website.
For the women, the winner by a mile seemed to be skirts and dresses, though where I live, I don’t see that many skirts and dresses in women’s daily wear. Shorts are also pretty prominently featured. I assume that dresses, skirts, and shorts are so common in spanking pics and drawings simply because men are the audience for those pictures and we like female legs and/or draping ourselves over naked legs is a common element of spanking fantasies.
Fancy lingerie also seems to be a fairly common element in a lot of spanking art, though I wonder how common it is in real life?
The spanker stripped down to her underwear, or a top with panties, is somewhat common.
The completely nude female spanker is probably least common, though I do have dozens of examples in my collection.
As for preferences, authenticity and an “all business” approach are key to my DD desires, so I’m very happy with Anne dressing in whatever she would normally be wearing. Anything else would feel too much like play-acting a BDSM-ish scene.
Something like this reflects my preferences much more closely.
How about you? How does the spanker in your relationship usually dress during a spanking. How about the spankee? Do your preferences differ from that norm?
Have a great week.
Dan, my wife is like yours. She spanks me in whatever clothes she happens to be wearing in the moment. She always fully dressed. Her most usual attire when we are at home is a t-shirt and tights.
ReplyDeleteI am always pants down but not off. If that is indeed the most frequent way for people to be spanked, it could be because that’s the way parents most commonly spanked kids back in the day. My wife and I have never talked about this. That’s just the way we have always done it. When she is going to spank me, she tells me to pull my pants down, not to get undressed, so that’s what I do. For some reason, I think that I feel more vulnerable with my pants down than I would completely nude. I’m not sure why. Maybe it feels more infantalizing.
Doug
"For some reason, I think that I feel more vulnerable with my pants down than I would completely nude." I can understand that and might feel the same way. I don't really know why, but we've always done it with me fully nude.
DeleteDan, do you think you might have started to do it with you being fully nude because of that picture from the DWC website? I have always loved that picture, and I can see how an image like that could influence your, and your wife’s, way of doing things. (I liked that the spanking was being seen by another man peeking in the window). And then, once you get started doing things a certain way, it is like you get into a groove, and that simply becomes the way it is done. Of course, it could be that your wife orders you to strip completely because she is turned on by seeing you naked when she is fully dressed. There is a lot to be said for the CFNM power dynamic as an enhancement to DD.
DeleteDoug
Doug, I honestly don't remember anything about why we started, and have always stayed with, the CFNM dynamic. I doubt it was the picture, as I tend to be very text-oriented, and most of the DWC stories seem to involve the woman taking the man's pants down. Unfortunately, I just don't recall any discussions we had in those early days about how spankings would be conducted. I do think that she does like the power dynamic involved in the sequence of her telling me to get ready for a spanking, I then go to our room and get out her tools and strip off all clothes, she comes up in a few minutes and fairly quickly takes care of business. I have no doubt that me naked and her clothed is a power thing for her, but I have no memory of how we came to do it that way in the first place.
DeleteDan, like you I have to set out the tools on the bed before my wife comes to spank me. Sometimes I try to influence her choice of implement by laying them out a certain way. I hate the strap, so I arrange for her to have to reach a bit farther for it. I don’t think that works. Your comment about DWC stories raises a related issue. Who pulls the pants down, the spanker or the spankee? When my wife started spanking me, she told me to go to the bedroom and take my pants down. I interpreted “pants” as “pants and underwear”, so that’s what I did. Without further discussion, that became the routine. However, I like the idea of the spanker being the one to bare the spankee’s bottom. It’s such a potent symbolic expression of power. Therefore, I tried to change the routine one time by pulling down my jeans and leaving my underwear up so she would have to pull down my underwear herself. When she came in the room and saw me like that, she scolded, “What do you think you are doing? Get those underwear down!” Maybe she thought I was trying to avoid getting it on the bare. I was too embarrassed to tell her I wanted her to bare me with her own hands. Just thinking, when I got spanked by my parents as a kid, I never pulled down my own pants. In fact, I would sometimes try to resist, and my pants and underwear would be pulled down forcibly. I wish my wife could force me that way!
DeleteWhen I went to a professional disciplinarian, she ascertained in advance that I wanted to be spanked OTK with my pants down but didn’t want to be totally nude. (She made clear that she would be fully clothed, but partial or complete nudity were options for me). When I got there, she told me to take off my pants and leave my underwear on. Since I wanted to be spanked OTK on the bare without undressing completely, I figured she intended to pull down my underwear once I was over her knee to minimize my frontal exposure. But to my surprise, she pulled my underwear down when I was standing next to her, waiting to go over her knee. I probably blushed when she did that, but she acted as though she was utterly indifferent to my sexual exposure. She probably was, and that enhanced her power.
Doug
Sometimes wives do just have their own preferences. I agree with you that the wife taking down the pants and/or underwear seems like a major power move. But, for whatever reason, my wife really likes the dynamic of me being fully naked when she enters the room.
DeleteMy former GF once asked me which I preferred: her taking my pants down or being ordered to take them down. She wanted to know because which ever option I liked most was one she wouldn't use. But in practice I remember she used both methods depending I suppose on what else was going on and how she felt. Thinking about it ,not knowing probably kept me off balance
DeleteAlan
My wife is the same. She will spank in whatever she is wearing for the day.Her usual attire is leggings and a sweater. She has so many clothes that it could be anything. I wish she would spank me in a dress and heals. That would be my preferred outfit. This has occurred multiple times and I find it highly erotic. I’m similar to Doug, in that I pull my pants down and my wife will immediately pull my underwear down: I feel just a vulnerable as Doug. I don’t know why that is, as my wife had seen me naked a million times. I think it has to do with her being permanently clothed. I believe her pissed off demeanor contributes to my vulnerability at the time. This was the way we were punished as kids. It was get to your room, Mom would close the door. Turn around pull your pants and underwear down and bend over the bed. We were forced to lay flat over the edge of the bed. My wife basically has me in the same position. My favorite pic is the women in red wearing the burgundy skirt.
ReplyDeleteT
Me too! All business.
DeleteSame here! I interpret that image as a mother spanking an adolescent son, not a wife punishing a husband. I think the image appeals to me because when my wife spanks me I feel like a boy being spanked by an adult. And my wife has an “all business” vibe like that woman when she spanks me. It’s as though she isn’t my sexual partner when she spanks me, but a maternal disciplinarian to whom my sexuality is, in that moment, totally insignificant.
DeleteDoug.
We don't do the pulling down the pants but leaving them around the ankles thing, but the reason I think it would make me feel more vulnerable is that it limits mobility and is inherently awkward.
DeleteYes, pants bunched around your knees or ankles act as a restraint, limiting mobility. It feels especially awkward, and humiliating, if you have to shuffle to or from the corner that way. I usually wear jeans, and because denim is a stiff fabric, my pants only go down as far as my knees at most. On the rare occasion that I have been wearing dress pants or shorts, they will fall all the way to my ankles during the spanking.
DeleteDoug
It's pretty much the same for us. She is just wearing whatever she wants. The attire isn't an issue for her, and I will always be bottomless when spanked. Wearing panties usually makes me feel more submissive, so she has decided that is what I will be wearing before a check in or doing corner time. They will be gone when the spanking begins. I like the artwork by Barbra, as it shows how submissive he is, and how serious and matter of fact she is. She is depicted as a mature woman, and the look on her face shows she is determined to deliver a sound paddling.
ReplyDeleteI should have referred to the possibility of the spankee wearing panties in the post, but it didn't occur to me at the time.
DeleteMy wife wears what ever she is wearing. There is no dressing up on her part. For me , most of the time i am to naked and over her knee for a spanking with the bath brush. However, she had occasionally told me to take off my belt, pull down my pants and she will give me a dozen or so strokes with my belt. This is more of s warning than a spanking. We had discussed early in the relationship that i would naked for spankings.
ReplyDeleteNaked, over her knee, with the bath brush has become our go-to over the years. Until Anne's injury and surgery last year, that had become the combo for us 99% of the time.
DeleteFor some reason most discipline in our house happens in the morning, usually early. My wife will generally be in some sort of bedroom attire. In the summer she will have me naked over the bed with a pillow to raise the target; in the colder months I am allowed to keep the top half of whatever I am wearing. If the punishment is later in the day she will consciously dress in a black outfit; she says that it makes her feel more in the mood to be severe. I, like others' prefer the 'pants down' arrangement as it feels very much like it should for a spanking. I prefer the spanking art that depicts that mode of undress. It may be that in my mind there is really only one reason why a man would be be in that position with his pants down, whereas he could be naked for a number or reasons. TB
ReplyDelete"If the punishment is later in the day she will consciously dress in a black outfit; she says that it makes her feel more in the mood to be severe." That's a good point -- that her style of dress could have a big impact on how confident or controlling she feels.
DeleteNaked definitely has some sexual connotations that "pants down" may not have.
“Naked definitely has some sexual connotations that "pants down" may not have.”
DeleteTo me, some of those connotations are seemingly paradoxical. As far as I remember, neither my wife nor my former GF ever spanked me when they were naked. But if it were to happen, I think much of the disciplinary benefits of spanking would be minimized. There is status and power inherent in clothing, or the lack of it, and that can manifest strongly in DD relationships. That is one of the reasons being partially or fully undressed by a disciplinarian can so alter expectations and behavior during discipline. At the extreme of that power spectrum, she would be in a “power suit” and I would be nude. Maybe it doesn’t work that way for everyone -but it does for me. Any woman having trouble taking complete control during discipline might experiment with the clothing ration (hers to his) and see if it works for them. My wife does not make me naked for most spankings, but when she does I feel the most vulnerable and responsive to her orders
Alan
TB,
DeleteI couldn’t agree more with you on the pants down arrangement. There is clearly one reason why I am bent over the bed and it’s for punishment. With her fully clothed and me with just my pants and underwear down, there is no sexuality to it. There is no mistaking why I am there. At that moment, for me there is zero sexuality.
T
“With her fully clothed and me with just my pants and underwear down, there is no sexuality to it. There is no mistaking why I am there. At that moment, for me there is zero sexuality.”
DeleteI agree completely, T. Except for me there is a paradox. The idea that there is zero sexuality in it for my wife makes it more sexually exciting for me. How screwed up is that?
Doug
Alan, I totally agree. I think if my wife were fully or partially nude, it would vastly diminish the disciplinary vibe and make it feel more like "funishment," even if the spanking was just as hard. You're right that, at least in these kinds of relationships, the relative amounts of clothing correlates with the hierarchy that exists in that moment.
DeleteIn our FLR and DD household, it depends on when the spanking is given. Not much change for me as I am kept nude whenever in the house. She will administer the spanking in whatever she is wearing at the time. Early morning or bedtime finds her partially undressed or nude. During the day she is mostly fully clothed. The are occasions when she will wear an erotic outfit, which enhances the experience in my mind. At spanking parties or with other spanko folks, she will wear a sexy or dominant outfit. If we are home and I happen to be clothed, like if she calls me in from outdoors, she tells me to strip before spanking me. The only times I get spanked with pants down is if we are away from home and full nudity is impossible.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how fully or partial nudity on her part would affect me. It probably would be a turn on, but that's not really what I'm look for in the experience.
DeleteFor us it really depends on the situation . Most of the time she will be casually dressed and I will be in my underwear as she admits she enjoys taking them down and seeing my reddened cheeks after a warm up and the business part of the spanking is on the bare.
ReplyDeleteWe used to schedule our spankings before or after going out to lunch , so then she would be dressed more formally in a dress and heels.
I would be in a business suit which I would have to remove before the spanking.
On occasion when she wants to play spank she will wear a bustier, stockings and heels which is is more for me than her !
Thankfully, suits had largely disappeared from my wardrobe after the first few years of my career. So, I'm not sure it's ever been the case that I disrobed from a suit for a spanking.
DeleteI must say I sometimes miss both of us getting 'dressed up' for a spanking.
DeleteShe will be wearing whatever she’s wearing, nothing special for her, just a chore to be completed. If I’m due a spanking, she likes do tell me before she heads to Orangetheory to be ready when she gets back. These are always more intense sessions because she’s all warmed up, so workout attire turns out to be pretty common.
ReplyDeleteI’m always completely naked, it’s just assumed that’s how one should be for a punishment, not sure we ever even really discussed it. I probably started doing that long ago, and it became the standard.
-3pops
"just a chore to be completed." That's really the vibe that I find most compelling.
DeleteFor a typical spanking, she is wearing everyday clothes, whatever she is wearing, which generally at home would be jeans, shorts, or other casual attire. Probably early in my relationship with my former GF, I asked her to “dress up” (a skirt and heels, I think). She refused with some anger and threatened to spank me if I asked her again. She thought dressing up sent the wrong message and wanted to make sure I wasn’t confused about spanking. Now years later I understand her point and have never asked my wife to dress up for spanking. “Dressing up” (to me) is moving toward BDSM play and not DD discipline. As for my state of dress, the normal spanking is bare from the waist down, with a top of some sort still on. A milder “warning” spanking ( ten cracks or so ) might mean trousers and shorts down to ankles but not off. And a god help you spanking - punishment is naked. They have not happened often. But when I hear STRIP, I am in a lot of trouble, no part of which I will enjoy.
ReplyDeleteAlan
My wife almost always wears dresses and skirts, which is one of the reasons I was attracted to her. Even though I know I'm about to suffer, her sitting in a pretty dress with hairbrush in hand is a magical sight.
DeleteAs for me, usually she leaves my shirt on but removes my pants and shorts. She prefers to do this herself. But for a very short spanking, which is more of a reminder to behave and only lasts five minutes or so, she will just lower them.
Alan, same here regarding dressing up sending the wrong message.
DeleteMy wife makes me strip totally naked for spankings for otk or bent over the corner of the bed..I like her in a black skirt and high heels but her naked is my favorite for sure..Soreassboy
ReplyDeleteThe one thing high heels would add for us is she tends to get very close to me during a pre-spanking lecture, but she's shorter than I am, so I'm looking down at her throughout. Heels would at least even things up and give her more "stature"
DeleteMy discipline is always administered with me completely naked and my wife dressed.
DeleteOf course, during early Sunday morning "Devotionals," my wife is dressed most often in her nightgown, which is quite attractive Otherwise, she wears for punishments whatever she would normally be wearing for that time-of-day and day-of-week. (The only exceptions are our "special occasions:" Our birthdays and our anniversary, when she dresses up for wherever we're going out, then usually removes her dress or skirt for our later special celebrations with her implements.)
On the subject of my being almost a "head" higher than my wife, early on she insisted that I be both naked and kneeling at attention (corner, or center or room), awaiting her arrival for CP. Kneeling puts me and my eyes easily one and one-half "heads" below her own eyes. It is most definitely a very subordinate position and feeling for me, and she seems to really enjoy "lecturing me from on-high!" She also has the authority to snap her fingers and point to a place on the floor, where I must immediately kneel at attention, giving her my complete attention, when she want to emphasize some point, directive or instructions.
I've always been somewhat surprised that "kneeling" to honor a wife is not more of common practice (or ritual) before punishments among practitioners of DD.
"I've always been somewhat surprised that "kneeling" to honor a wife is not more of common practice (or ritual) before punishments among practitioners of DD."
DeleteIt seems like most of us get into real DD relationships in our late 30s or later. After one total knee replacement and another possible in the near future -- me getting up off the floor might take longer than the spanking.
Dan:
DeleteSorry to learn about your knee. Best of luck going forward.
I had a (somewhat) similar experience: Shortly after I stared riding motorcycles (13 yo), I was broadsided by a Cadillac (one of old style with concrete-filled bumpers). That bumper struck the center of my left knee, broke both bones in my lower leg, and tore the major nerve bundle that controlled muscles below the knee. It took me several years in a giant metal leg-frame before the nerve recovered enough that I could resume using my muscles. Then another ten years to rehab muscles. Finally, after about 18 years I was actually stronger in that leg than my right leg.
So, all these decades later, which knee I'm I having severe problems with? My right knee! (The left knee I dedicated so much work toward all those many years is almost perfect.)
Donn and Dan, I’m sorry to hear about your knee problems. I’m starting to have knee problems too. I get a sharp pain in my right knee when I kneel on a hard surface.
DeleteI think that being lower than your wife does contribute to the DD power dynamic, whether from your kneeling or her wearing high heels. My wife expects me to be bent over the end of the bed with my pants down when she enters the room. So not only am I lower than her, but because I put a couple of cushions under my hips to raise my bottom, my face is lower than my bottom. In that position, I feel really submissive and she seems really powerful.
Kneeling is not a part of our discipline routine, but it has been a part of our FLR. Sometimes when my wife is naked after having a shower, she “allows” me to kneel behind her to kiss and praise her bottom. I put “allows” in quotation marks because it is unclear whether she is allowing me or expecting me to do it. When I hear her having a shower, I listen for her to get out so I can go show her my devotion that way. She always teases me about needing to do that, as though it is just something she permits for my sake. But I know she likes and expects it because if I fail to come to her after she showers, she will tell me in an annoyed tone that I “missed my opportunity” because I wasn’t paying attention. We don’t have as much of a FLR, or as much DD, as we used to have because she has become less strict and less demanding with age. But she still likes it when I kneel to kiss her bottom. (I have to kneel on a cushion now because of my knee).
I wonder whether most husbands who are subject to DD also demonstrate submission to their wives in such symbolic ways outside the context of DD? Just thought of the symbolism that my bottom is for spanking and her bottom is for kissing.
Doug
Similar here, wife is in whatever she is wearing when she choses to discipline me or if its in the moment. During the day it is usually gym clothes and at night she will deliberately put on a baggy shirt and baggy flannel pajama pants so there are no mixed signals. Typically at night she will wear a lot less but if I get disciplined at night there is no intimacy. For me it is always pants and underwear around the ankles and bending over the bed or sofa. At night depending on how upset she is she may put me in the corner after the spanking while she watches a show alone then lets me out to go to sleep. - DD
ReplyDelete"During the day it is usually gym clothes and at night she will deliberately put on a baggy shirt and baggy flannel pajama pants so there are no mixed signals." That makes a lot of sense to me.
DeleteSimilar topic to what she is wearing- I’m also interested in the mechanics of how other people receive their punishments. Is it quick fire, steady rhythm with no warm up, or a scolding/ lecture once in position then the spanking, flurries of strokes with breaks, is it timed or does she just carry on until she’s satisfied, does she lecture throughout, are there instructions during the spanking, etc. how long, how many strokes, how many implements, what positions?
ReplyDeleteMaybe an interesting topic when nothing else is forthcoming… TB
Yep, I can do that, and since it seems to be getting more and more rare for new ideas to be forthcoming . . .
DeleteOur procedure is for me to lower my pants and underwear to just below my knees. This is done as she sits in front of me and lectures with hairbrush in hand. The scenario is intended to be as humbling as possible.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I might like her to be in a skirt when I lay across her lap, jeans or other casual clothing are the norm. When a spanking is called for, I can't imagine her changing into a specific outfit, especially if it's less comfortable for her. Wouldn't be a good idea for me to ask her to, either.
Kevin
"This is done as she sits in front of me and lectures with hairbrush in hand." Many of my favorite drawings and memes depict exactly that scenario.
DeleteThis could be the ultimate hate-love moment in DD, You revel in the intense feelings aroused while beginning to dread what is just seconds away.
DeleteAlan
This is tangential to clothes worn for a spanking but came up as I was reading the comments. When we lied in a two-story home, my wife would sometimes take down my pants downstairs (or order me to do it), then she would take hold of my forearm with her hand and lead me briskly through the house and up the stairs to where she was going to spank, me hobbling (and sometimes stumbling) along because my pants are at my ankles.
ReplyDeleteThe minute or so it took to pull me from the living room or family room up the staircase and into the bedroom with my pants around my ankles was brief but it had a vivid psychological impact. I think I described it once earlier as “the walk of shame”. That is a bit dramatic, but it made me feel almost instantly under her control with no resistance.
She probably stopped doing it because she has other effective ways to impose control and we are in a split-level home. But that combination of having your pants taken down and then being led to your spanking is a powerful memory. The feeling I remember strongest is having no control over what was happening, and that, of course, is what we all need.
Alan
"When we lied in a two-story home"
DeleteMaybe that was Freudian, since I have been spanked for "omissions" -but just for the record,we LIVED in a two story and have never lied about that.
Alan
"The feeling I remember strongest is having no control over what was happening . . ."
DeleteThat's such a huge part of the appeal of DD to me. When I first found the DWC, the stories that resonated the most were those where the husband seems to have the least control or input into a spanking happening or the imposition of the DD relationship itself.
Alan, your comment reminds me of a photo I once saw online. It showed a completely naked man who appeared to scrambling quickly up the stairs, followed by a fully dressed woman, casually attired in jeans, walking calmly up the stairs behind him, carrying a paddle. I found that image incredibly arousing, and I tried to imagine the story behind it. I figured that she must have ordered him to strip in the living room, although she intended to spank him in the bedroom. I found that the way the man was hurrying up the stairs made him look like a little boy vainly trying to outrun the paddle, but the woman could take her time because there was no way her husband could escape. Has anyone else seen that photo? I wish I could find it again.
DeleteDoug
Doug, I think I know the one you're talking about and have it in my collection. Or, I have one very similar to what you are describing. Unfortunately, there's no way to include a picture with a comment on Blogger. If you want, send me an email and I'll reply with the picture.
DeleteCould you perhaps include the photo in one of your future posts, Dan? In general, I love photos of fully dressed women walking up stairs or down a hallway carrying spanking implements. I’m not sure why they turn me on so much. Maybe carrying a spanking implement implies feminine determination. I am also fascinated by the idea of spanking implements being kept, not in the bedroom, but in a public part of the house. It suggests, I suppose, that although the spanking is done in the privacy of the bedroom, the fact that the woman is going to spank her husband may be public knowledge…like the image the camera shows is being witnessed by a house guest. I think way too much about this stuff! Lol
DeleteDoug
I have that same thing re: pics of women walking up stairs or down hallways carrying an instrument. Particularly stairs. There are so many examples out there, it must be a thing for many others too. Though I have no idea why.
DeleteDan, I think that stairs have particular power because going up to deliver a spanking symbolizes the force of the woman’s will to punish the guy who is waiting up there. I imagine him hearing her steps on the stairs as he waits with his pants down, or perhaps hurrying to strip if she has ordered him to do that.
DeleteDoug
Could be.
DeleteThe kinds of comments like the last 2 from Dan and Alan that deal with some psychological aspects of F/M spanking and DD are much more compeling to me than what people are wearing or the mechanics of spanking. Yes, much has been covered here before, but by different people with different perspectives. Also, I know we try to stay away from politics, but have you noticed our country is imploding? It might be interesting to explore how we are dealing with it. Does DD help us cope with it, reduce stress, distract us, make men behave better, argue less? Just an idea.....
ReplyDeleteNorton, I also find the psychological aspects of DD (and FLR) most compelling, but I think that analysis of what people are wearing and the mechanics of spanking provide a window into our psychological drives and motivations. How we and our wives are dressed for spankings seems psychologically significant to me. It would be interesting to know, for example, why some wives, like Dan’s, order their husbands to strip completely, and some wives, like mine, just order us to lower our pants. And why do we men prefer one way or another? Or why do I wish my wife would spank me OTK, but she prefers to make me bend over the edge of bed? Do I crave OTK because I have some Oedipal motivation, and does she choose not to satisfy that aspect of my craving because she doesn’t want to be too much like a mother?
DeleteDoug
I personally agree with you and prefer the more psychological posts and comments. But, sometimes I just don't have time to put one of those together, and the more "tactical" or "logistical" posts do seem to have an appeal to many based on the # of views.
DeleteI'll have to think about the political angle you are suggesting. I have avoided commenting much on the current state of affairs, as people are obviously as dug into their respective sides as it's possible to be. When I took it in a more political direction during the pandemic, it definitely had an impact on views. Though, since the vast majority of the lost viewers were lurkers anyway, it's not like it matters.
We avoided OTK for many years, then adopted it as her go-to position a couple of years ago. Interestingly, neither preference had anything to do with psychological drives. Rather, we tried OTK at the outset of our DD relationship, since neither of us had any experience with adult spanking, and OTK seemed to be the overwhelmingly favorite position on the DWC. But, when we tried it, it seemed awkward and ineffective. She couldn't seem to get as much force in the swing as she could with me laying or bent over a bed, chair or ottoman. Then, two or three years ago, I asked her to try it again, and this time it was very effective. I suspect that when we were starting out *everything* felt awkward, and there is a lot going on with the OTK position in terms of balance and control. After trying it again, it became our almost exclusive go-to, until Anne's procedure last year made it impossible for several months. But, I expect to go back to it in the near future.
DeleteNorton, when you say 'our country' I assume that you are referring to the USA? :). I cannot imagine what it is like to live in such a divided and divisive country as the US appears to be now. The unfortunate 'consolation' is that a majority voted for the current narcissistic regime who therefore represent the democratic view of your country. From an outsider's perspective the real dangers appear to the potential end of democracy in the US and the chaotic market reactions to each and every new edict.
DeleteI also find the psych aspects of DD fascinating - the article link I shared a few weeks back has much that we could discuss even though it's focus is broadly BDSM https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2020.1767025#abstract
I am coming to the view that DD may be a focussed subset of BDSM as I recognise some of the motivations and benefits but not the role play aspects. TB
I live in Canada, and I sometimes wonder how Americans can carry on with their lives so normally when there are such threats to democracy and to the rule of law from a fascistic administration. Trump’s obsession with territorial expansion feels like an existential threat to Canadians. Related to this blog, the last spanking I got was for saying Trump’s name after my wife said she didn’t want to hear it anymore. She is sick of the way his ugly, slack-jawed face dominates Canadian news night after night.
ReplyDeleteDoug
For me, it's recognizing that last time I let that orange menace spend way too much time living in my head rent-free. I think last time non-MAGA folks, whether Republican or Democrat, underestimated the MAGA's shamelessness and over-estimated the spinal integrity of non-MAGA politicians. People thought rational debate could change minds. I just don't buy that anymore. I do think there will be a significant softening in Trump's support over the next few months, but it will be because his policies start hurting his own voters in their pocketbooks. Talking to them about how his policies hurt the poor and vulnerable carry zero weight with his supporters. Until it hurts them where it counts, his support will remain high. I also have some faith (perhaps too much) in the courts to stop the worst of the power grabs.
DeleteDoug:
DeleteWithout getting to far "into the weeds," I read a poll a couple days ago that apparently showed a large majority of Republicans would actually support a MORE authoritarian (and fascistic) leadership in Washington.
I've always been very "middle of the road," (maybe partly because of my very mixed parental background; maybe because I have tri-national citizenship [CA/US/MX]), but I really can't fathom how people can support these types of methods, regardless of the desires for particular policies.
(No too far "into the weeds," I hope!)
Donn, I hope those people would at least oppose an invasion of Canada! I mean, that seems like an insane idea, but Trump doesn’t seem sane. We’re getting really nervous up here because Trump talking about Canada is starting to sound like Putin talking about Ukraine! :-(
DeleteDoug
Donn, do you live in Canada or the USA, if you don’t mind my asking?
DeleteDoug, why don't you guys just agree to join, with each province becoming a state? I'd be happy to have 10 new purplish to blue states. That would fix all sorts of problems here!
DeleteLol, Dan. I don’t know if Trump has any idea how blue Canada would be. It would be bluer than California or New York. According to public opinion polls, Canadians would have voted for Harris over Trump by a margin of 3 to 1. Now that we have seen what Trump is doing, that margin would increase to 5 to 1. Trump and Vance both said things during the campaign that would have ended the careers of any Conservative politician here, and Canadians were incredulous that Trump won after that final orgy of racism and misogyny at Madison Square Gardens.
DeleteDoug
LOL... you don't think that he'd let those new states vote do you...
DeleteThat’s a good point, Merk. Trump’s a fascist. The point of annexing Canada would be to plunder our resources, not to allow us to vote out fascism.
DeleteI am an American who visits Canada often. It is my favorite country and Canadians are my favorite people. Although it would be wonderful for Americans to have Canada join us,it would be a disaster for Canadians. Canada in many ways is the country Americans think they are, but are not. We can learn much from Canadians,while the main thing Canadians can learn from us is make sure you don't become us
DeleteAlan
Hi "Anonymous March 13, 2025 at 6:45 PM PDT:"
DeleteI live most of the year in Southern California (USA, not Baja), where my business and most of my hobbies are located.
I visit family in Canada periodically, but much more often visit family in Southern Mexico, where my younger sister and quite a few cousins live.
============================================
"Each Canadian Province (and 'Territory') a single US State?"
Well, the USA could certainly do with another (12 x 2) Blue Senators.
Only problem is the Original-US citizens would have to become much, MUCH more "POLITE" to interact with the new Canuck-USA citizens. Never happen!!
Oops! My BAD!
Delete(My Canadian family should spank there wayward relative, or send him back to elementary school.)
I completely forgot about the province "Prince Edward Island." (That makes 13 provinces and territories.) I think two more Blue Senators and Two Blue Congresswomen for that island's 150,000 residents sounds excellent. (I'm sure all those citizens of Wyoming (pop: 570,000) would fully agree!)
Thanks for your supportive words about Canada, Allan. It’s good to know that most Americans would oppose Trump’s stated desire to annex Canada. I saw a Fox News host tell Premier Ford (leader of the Ontario provincial government) that he found it insulting that Canadians wouldn’t welcome annexation. It’s mind boggling to me that some right wing Americans don’t understand that people in other countries love their countries as much as Americans love the USA.
DeleteDonn, if every province became a state, a couple of them would possibly elect Republican senators. Republicans are geniuses at gerrymandering, so they might be able to find a way of neutralizing Canada’s liberalism by drawing unnatural electoral boundaries. But anyway, it makes me uncomfortable even to joke about such hypotheticals.
Doug
Doug:
DeleteYES! Female bottoms are definitely for kissing/worship!
SORRY! You're right; I shouldn't even joke about Canada joining the USA.
"FOX NEWS?" Well, that platform is such an obvious insult to both "foxes" and "real news" I'm surprised they chose the name. Guess it's all "marketing!"
I don’t think this is the proper form for politics. Everyone will have their own opinion one way or another. The only thing I will say, is as a US citizen, I am sick of taking care of and giving my hard earned money to other countries period end of story!!! There is nothing else that need to be discussed about his policies or procedures. The Doge has identified over 115 billion dollars in waste. Please take the time to just look at the waste of my tax payer dollars that was spent on pure garbage.
ReplyDeleteYeah, sorry, but you don't get to say state your political concern then declare that no one else gets to state theirs. I'm tired of giving my hard earned money to things like subsidizing farmers who vote MAGA then whine when other countries place retaliatory tariffs on US agriculture products. Or, vouchers that use my tax money to pay for someone else's religious-based charter school. Or, given that most red states receive more in government spending than they pay in taxes, while it's the opposite in blue states like CA and New York, I'm kind of tired of subsidizing red states that can't get their economic shit together on their own. So, we all have our gripes about how our tax dollars are spent.
DeleteThe USA is by far the richest country in the world because it has been a huge beneficiary of the global economic order that Trump wants to destroy. His claim that he will “make America rich again” is nonsensical, considering that the USA has never ceased to be the richest country. Trump is playing American workers for suckers by telling them that other countries are to blame for their problems, when the real problem is the grossly unequal distribution of America’s incredible wealth. His tariffs are essentially an import sales tax that will disproportionately affect middle class and poor Americans in order to pay for further tax cuts for billionaires and corporations. They are also a recipe for Vladimir Putin style government corruption, as corporate leaders will line up to kiss Trump’s ring to get tariff exemptions for their businesses. Who would ever have believed that an American administration would model itself on the Russian style kleptocracy that has made Russia an economic basket case while Putin became one of the richest men in the world? Well, I guess you can see what’s in it for Trump.
DeleteDoug
Although the Vietnam war shook American confidence, for pretty much all of my life I've lived in a country where both Democrats and Republicans agreed the US was, and should continue to be, the leader of the free world. After almost 60 years living in that political environment, it's very odd watching a President try to systematically dismantle American leadership while paradoxically claiming he's Making America Great Again. In an ideal world, I could explain to the MAGAs the advantages the US has gotten from things like the dollar being the world's preferred currency and the impact that has had on our ability to finance growth at reasonable interest rates. But, given that these are the same people who thought Trump would flip a switch and egg prices would drop . . . what's the point of engaging.
DeleteFor another purpose I was researching Neville Chamberlain quotes today. I found these which, if you remove the explicitly British references, could come out of the mouths of Trump, Vance or any of the MAGA isolationists today:
"How horrible, fantastic, incredible, it is that we should be digging trenches and trying on gas-masks here because of a quarrel in a faraway country between people of whom we know nothing."
"However much we may sympathize with a small nation confronted by a big and powerful neighbours, we cannot in all circumstances undertake to involve the whole British Empire in a war simply on her account."
Then, after his appeasement project failed to deliver his promised "peace for our time" and Hitler invaded Poland after Chamberlain and the other great European powers had sacrificed Czechoslovakia:
"This is a sad day for all of us, and to none is it sadder than to me. Everything that I have worked for, everything that I have hoped for, everything that I have believed in during my public life, has crashed into ruins. There is only one thing left for me to do; that is, to devote what strength and powers I have to forwarding the victory of the cause for which we have to sacrifice so much... I trust I may live to see the day when Hitlerism has been destroyed and a liberated Europe has been re-established."
Substitute "Putinism" for "Hitlerism" and you have the current situation in Europe, but this time with a US President determined to be the Appeaser in Chief but, like Chamberlain, prattling on and on about how great he is at negotiating peace without ever saying he's doing by forcing surrender on a smaller country.
One who, by the way, traded away it's nuclear deterrent in exchange for guarantees from us and Russia. If President Dan was in charge, I'd be thinking declaring that agreement had been abrogated by the Russians, then give the Ukrainians four or five nuclear weapons and appropriate delivery systems. That would bring and end to the conflict pretty much immediately, but it wouldn't be on Putin's terms, so no way it's happening under Trump.
Doug,
DeleteIt must be tough to be Canadian. From the vast social and economic issue your country has faced for years, to the growing housing issues that make it impossible for a young person to buy a home, the socialized medical issues that’s older citizens have, along with the worse decline in living standards in over four decades. We’ve also become less dependent on Canadian oil. My point is I feel bad for your country. Yes you are correct,
we are a wealthy country and I certainly understand your frustration, but we have wasted money giving other countries our money for decades upon decades. It’s about time we can actually see where our money is going and what contracts have been cancelled and saved. Dan, I was not addressing money spent within the United States. I agree that it’s not perfect and unfortunately rich states like NY California ect. Pay more than “red” states. Let’s be realistic as California is a massive state that can’t get their finances in order despite massive wealth in that state. My point was money sent to other countries such as 20 million for circumcision in Africa, I could go on and on. I agree that the money spent in this country needs to be put to better use and it is on its way by multiple BS contracts being cancelled. I don’t care whether your a liberal or a conservative, you have to agree that this country waste way too much of our tax dollars and it should be put to better use. There is no reason we should have homeless veterans, or for that matter any homelessness. We have the resources to address all of our issues. You don’t see foreign countries taking care of outsiders. Try and get a job in France, Italy, or Switzerland being a foreigner. Try moving there or retiring to those countries. You will be immediately required to submit your finances. You will be laughed out of the country. We need to start taking care of Americans. Our country needs to come first. We can also agree that moving jobs to foreign countries, because it’s cheaper, was a massive mistake.
To corporations it is all about the all mighty dollar. They hurt Americans and their pocketbooks, regardless of where you live. Dan, I’m sure being a retired lawyer, you have done very well for yourself.
So have we and I am ok paying my fair share. What I am not ok with is paying for waste.
"There is no reason we should have homeless veterans, or for that matter any homelessness." That's kind of funny given how many veterans have been fired in the last few weeks from VA, NIH, etc., in many cases told their firings were "for cause" after getting exemplary job reviews a few weeks or months before.
DeleteHave you actually kept track of how many times DOGE has taken down claimed "savings" from its list of "cancelled" contracts? Most of its top 10 "savings" turned out be contracts that had been fully performed and paid out or that had been cancelled before DOGE arrived. And, does it bother you at all that one of the first DOGE on the scene was a 19 year-old incel-ish little fuck who just weeks before his DOGE appointment has posted on-line that he was "racist before that was popular"? And, fyi, a huge chunk of what Trump and Musk include in those crazy "savings" numbers is "waste" only in the sense that it's spending they don't agree with BUT was approved by Congress. Sorry, but the last time I (as you point out, a retired lawyer) I read the Constitution, it gave Congress, not Trump and certainly not an un-elected official who has not been Senate confirmed, the power of the purse.
Nice condescending BS re: Canada. How's the housing affordability in most of the U.S. these days? I'm sure that situation is going to be made much, much better by Trump's tariffs on lumber and steel. Socialized medicine? How are your insurance rates these days? Or, how about Vance floating returning to the system where "healthy pay less," i.e. pre-Obamacare where those elderly you seem to care about could be excluded from private care for pre-existing conditions and the poor were covered only my Medicaid, which your guys want to cut. As for becoming less depending on Canadian oil, only because Democratic presidents didn't approve pipelines, much to your side's chagrin. And, we are NO less dependent on Canadian refining.
You're also completely wrong about how moving to other countries works. I have a friend who, as we speak, is in the process of moving to France, and it's been a very straightforward process. Yeah, they have to submit financials, but what's your point? How do you like Trump's idiotic nonsense were $5M gets you a green card?
Yep, I have done pretty well for myself. Yet, every time a Republican gets in the White House I get to see my net worth torpedoed. Then, the Democratic president steps in and cleans up the mess.
Thank you for your supportive words about Canada, Dan.
DeleteAnonymous, I hope you are aware that Trump’s claim that the USA’s negative trade balance with Canada means that the USA is subsidizing Canada is nonsense. If you take Canada’s energy exports out of the equation, the USA has a positive trade balance. And because Canada has surplus energy (oil, gas, electricity), we sell it to the USA at very favourable rates. The USA would pay a lot more to get that oil and gas elsewhere, or to build plants to replace Canadian electricity. Also, the reason Canada is the USA’s main supplier of aluminum is that the production of aluminum requires a great deal of electricity, which central Canada has in abundance. American manufacturers aren’t doing Canada a favour by buying our aluminum. They are buying it because the price is favourable. Tariffs will increase the price of aluminum to American manufacturers, whether they get it from Canada or from American producers who are only competitive behind a tariff wall. That will make the American manufacturing sector less competitive globally, and Canadians will probably start buying appliances and other manufactured goods from China and Europe instead of the USA. Free trade between Canada and the USA has been a win-win. Unfortunately, Trump doesn’t believe in win-win deals. He is determined to damage the USA’s economy for the sole purpose of harming Canada even more. I guess that for him it’s a win for him if Canada suffers more damage than the USA. Seems crazy to me. And betrayal by an ally. I wonder if Trump remembers that Canadian and other NATO soldiers fought and died alongside American soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq because we supported the USA after 9/11. Probably not. He has never respected the sacrifices of American soldiers either. By shaking down America’s friends and allies like a mob boss, he is going to make the USA a lonely country with much less global influence. What price would you put on that?
Doug
For heaven''s sake, don't turn this into another venue for political discussions. There are literally hundreds of them available. No need to corrupt this great site.
DeleteDoug wrote: "Trump is playing American workers for suckers by telling them that other countries are to blame for their problems, when the real problem is the grossly unequal distribution of America’s incredible wealth"
DeleteThis cuts incisively to the base problem poisoning American politics today. American prosperity has left too many behind and until this problem is addressed meaningfully the present polarization will persist and may grow stronger. Doug, I have often marveled at how much more informed Canadians are about American public policy than many Americans are. . You make the point well
Alan
I agree:
DeleteI think everyone has made their points, and counterpoints, some of us much better than others.
Let's move on to some naked butt-thumping, or whatever!
Dan:
DeleteGoogle's "Artificially Imbecilic (AI) SPAM Monster" is at it again! I think it canned at least a couple of my short posts this morning.
Thanks, Alan. There is a reason many Canadians are informed about American politics. As our former PM Pierre Elliott Trudeau once said in a speech to the Washington Press Gallery:
Delete“Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt.”
Doug
“Let's move on to some naked butt-thumping, or whatever!”
DeleteNaked butt-thumping does seem to be a bipartisan issue. ;-)
Doug
Here’s a crossover between politics and butt- thumping. I opened my Substack app and was greeted by the following headline: “Trump and Musk Are Getting Their Butts Royally Spanked in the Courts”.
DeleteIs that what’s meant by synchronicity?
In any case, that made my day. The article even includes the sentence, “Spank, spank, spank, spank, and spank.” Unfortunately, it didn’t specify whether the judges were using hairbrushes, paddles, or straps. ;-)
Doug
Typically, for a spanking, J. would pull down the back of his trousers and underpants, often of his military uniform. It's hard to explain why, but there is something appealing and chivalrous about a stocky man in uniform like J. willingly letting his wife spank him.
ReplyDeleteFor the second part, he would be wearing just his hipsters and I would be wearing a nlack basque.
He would then take his hipsters off and we would make love, with me continuing to wear my basque (he never saw me completely naked, only in my basque). Further lovemaking sessions were preceded with me wearing my basque and him wearing nothing.
I would keep some punishment implements in the pocket. J. liked the feeling of vulnerability that him being naked and me wearing a basque containing punishment implements brought.
L.
I had to look up basque. I'd never heard of it.Great that you wore one for spanking.
DeleteI think that my wife's wearing dress or skirt when spanking me really adds to her female power and authority.