Meeting 511- The Mechanics/Logistics of a Disciplinary Spanking

Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions, but those who kindly reprove thy faults. — Socrates

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the female commenters who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.

 

I hope you all had a great week. Mine was kind of rough. We had a family get-together and, while it’s great that our adult kids still like to hang with us, they aren’t that adult, and I have a hard time keeping up these days. It was a week that won’t help me reverse the bad health trends revealed by my annual physical, which I mentioned last week.  Compared to last year’s findings, I lost ground on all the big metabolic stuff.  Blood sugar – up. Good cholesterol – down.  Bad cholesterol – up, and into concerning range.  Triglycerides – WAY up.  The bummer of it all is that I feel like my diet and exercise routines were no worse than last year and actually a bit better.  So, I’m not sure why the big, negative changes. But, it may be time to add some health-related diet and exercise items to my weekly “check-ins” with Anne.

 

 

And, as I mentioned briefly last week, for no apparent reason, one of my knees got very angry at me and had me limping around like an old man. It still hasn’t resolved and may not, as x-rays indicated I’m getting arthritis in that knee.  As I’ve said, this getting old shit is not for sissies, though it’s better than the only alternative.

 

 

Before moving onto this week’s topic, during the discussion last week, TB recommended a study he had read recently that addressed BDSM practitioner’s origins and the source of their attraction to sexual masochism and submission. 

 

It is an interesting read and, while I maintain that DD is not a subset of BDSM (though perhaps both DD and BDSM are subsets of Dominance/submission?), there are enough overlaps to make the study of likely interest to some of our readers.  This paragraph (with citations omitted) touched on some of my own motivations, and I would accept the label “balancer” as explaining some, though not all, of my DD and FLR attraction: 

 

"Practitioners who give away their power in m/s [sexual masochism/submission] activities fall into two main subgroups: those who are powerful in everyday life, especially professionally, and those who are simply more sexually aroused by submission. Those in the first subgroup are classically labeled “balancers”, as their main goal is to stop being responsible, to let go, in an erotic environment. Those in the second subgroup (whose basic preference is for sexual submission) resemble the general population in that there are significantly more women than men. Indeed, women are much more likely than men to be sexually aroused by submissive behaviors, both in fantasy and practice, at least in rich industrialized countries (where such studies are usually conducted). Finally, it is worth noting that a significant subgroup of BDSM practitioners (approximately 30%) alternate between domination and submission (“switch” practitioners), depending on different factors (mood at the moment, identity and gender of a given partner, etc. Thus, preference for power in BDSM is not necessarily fixed over time, contrary to what is usually found in the general population with regard to sexual practice.”

 

Moving on to this week, I’m still playing catch up after the family visit, so this will be another pretty straightforward topic.  Norton mentioned that he much prefers posts that delve into things like the psychological motivations that underlie our DD and FLR interests.  I totally agree with him, and after ten years of blogging about this stuff, “What’s your favorite instrument or position?” topics don’t stimulate my interest very much.   

 

But, sometimes I just don’t have time to do a drill-down on something more abstract or philosophical, though I do enjoy writing those kinds of posts even if some don't like reading them and just want some spanking porn. (I got one snotty comment on the post from two weeks ago, from an anonymous commenter bitching that the comments were too deep and psychological. I deleted it without reply.)  And, while I generally agree with Norton’s preference, even the more tactical/instructional posts sometimes result in interesting insights from readers.

 

With all that said, this week’s post is pretty straight-forward, though perhaps it will allow all of us to share some titillating details about the logistics surrounding our respective DD sessions.  The topic comes from TB:

 

"Similar topic to what she is wearing- I’m also interested in the mechanics of how other people receive their punishments. Is it quick fire, steady rhythm with no warm up, or a scolding/ lecture once in position then the spanking, flurries of strokes with breaks, is it timed or does she just carry on until she’s satisfied, does she lecture throughout, are there instructions during the spanking, etc. how long, how many strokes, how many implements, what positions? Maybe an interesting topic when nothing else is forthcoming…"

 

We are very much creatures of habit; the vast majority of my spankings follow a pretty consistent pattern.

 

It is pretty rare for Anne to spank me immediately after an offense.  There’s usually some kind of announcement—sometimes face-to-face but often by text—identifying something I did that has earned a session.

 

 

There is often an hours’ long gap between that announcement that I am to be spanked and a follow-up telling me that it’s time. During that time, I’m usually on “pins and needles,” not knowing for sure when she’ll announce that it’s time.

 

When it finally happens, texting is again a preferred means of communication for her.  I will often be sitting in my home office when a text comes in saying something like, “You have 10 minutes until your spanking. Get ready.”  Though sometimes she walks in and tells me something like, “It’s time. Go get ready.”

 

I then go to the master bedroom.  In the past, I would have lowered the window shades but, as I’ve discussed in other posts, Anne decided several months ago that she wants them open.

 

 

I retrieve at least her two “go to” tools – the bath brush and ebony hairbrush from their usual place on our bathroom counter.  In years past, she would cycle through several tools per session, but over the last few years we have simplified that substantially, to the point that the hairbrush and bath brush really have become near-exclusive tools. But, I will often retrieve from the close a canvas carrying roll containing several other straps and paddles.

 

 

I put the tools either at the foot of our bed or on the large leather ottoman at the foot of the bed.  I then strip down to fully nude and . . . wait.  I never know exactly how long it will be before she comes into the room, and after she makes her entrance, she often spends some time puttering around in the bathroom. All the while, I stand there in the middle of the room, naked and afraid.

 

Finally, she comes out and stands in front of me.  She almost always gives some sort of pre-spanking lecture, but it’s usually a pretty straightforward recap of the behavior that put me in this position.  Sometimes, instead of reciting the charges herself, she’ll ask me to summarize why we are there.  There have been a few times that she’s been really angry about something and cut loose with a biting scolding, but most of the time it’s very business-like.

 

 

For several years, once the lecture was over, she would tell me, “Take your position,” which meant draping myself over that large leather ottoman, on which I would have placed a large cushion, to elevate my butt. 

 

But, two or three years ago, we experimented with OTK again for the first time in many years, having given it a mostly unsuccessful try at the outset of our experiments with DD.  Until Anne’s surgery in the latter part of last year, OTK had become the almost exclusive go-to position.  Now that she’s almost fully healed, I expect we will be returning to it soon. 

 

So, she will sit down on the ottoman and summon me to her side.  She usually conveys with a hand gesture that she is ready for me drape myself over her lap.

 

 

During the lecture phase, it is often so business-like that I don't have much of a reaction to it. But, as soon as I know it is time to drape myself over her lap, my anxiety jumps up quickly. Although I'm always shocked by just how much worse it is than I remembered, I remember well enough that I know what I'm in for and that it's going to be very unpleasant.

 

From the first swat, the action is usually steady and unrelenting.  There is almost never a warm-up.  She picks up one of the brushes, and simply starts swatting.  The strokes are always hard from beginning to end and delivered at a pace of one every second or two.  She’ll usually deliver a volley of 10 to 20, pause for a few seconds, then deliver another volley.

 

 

In the old days, there was little, if any, talking during the spanking itself.  These days, she does tend to pause from time to time, often for a rhetorical question like, “Am I getting through to you?” or “You keep doing [whatever the misbehavior was].  Do I need to spank you more often?” 

 

She doesn’t use a timer or hourglass, and as far as I know she doesn’t have a number of strokes in mind.  I’ve almost never succeeded in counting fully the number of swats during any session, but it’s pretty rare for there to be fewer than 200.  A lengthy one might be near double that.  But, her pace is such that the whole thing generally lasts only a few minutes.

 

 

What brings it to a close is usually (a) her sense that the punishment has fit the crime; (b) me showing signs that my butt has gone numb, so further swats aren’t serving much purpose; or (c) the condition of my butt.  She’s squeamish about even the most minor “spotting” of blood, and she often terminates a spanking that she clearly would like to keep going.

 

 

We don’t do anything in the way of aftercare, at least not immediately.  Usually, I get up and pull at least my jeans and underwear back on and put away her tools.  

 

 

 It is pretty common for us to have sex after a spanking, and it’s often during the warm-up that we have our deepest conversations about the DD and FLR aspects of our relationship and about taking things to another level of strictness, adopting a more explicitly maternal model, etc.

 

That’s about it for me.  There’s not much variety to it, but that’s OK.  I think the simplified routine actually makes it more likely for her to use disciplinary spankings consistently, as it’s efficient, takes only a few minutes of her time, and there isn’t a lot of decision-making involved.

 

Is there anything I would change?  I think I may suggest to her that she bring her brushes to me when she’s ready to get started, as I think the lecture phase would be even more intimidating if she were holding one or both brushes as she scolds me.  I might also suggest that we at least try me lowering my pants but not taking them off completely.  As we discussed last week, having jeans pooled up at your ankles is inherently awkward and limits mobility.  I think it might make me feel more vulnerable and might emphasize the power difference between us. But, she seems pretty into having me totally naked when she walks into the room.

 

How about you? What are the mechanics/logistics of your spanking sessions? Is there much variety, or do they follow a standard pattern? Has that pattern changed over time? Is there anything about the process you’d like to change?

 

Finally, during last week’s discussion, Doug mentioned a picture he had seen depicting a naked man moving hurriedly up the stairs, with his fully clothed wife coming behind him and carrying a spanking implement.  I think this is the pic he was looking for.

 

 

Have a great week.