"Do you want to have an easy life? Then always stay with the herd and lose yourself in the herd." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Hello all. Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club. Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.
Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the female commenters who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.
I hope you all had a great week. Mine was better with respect to keeping to my diet, exercise and drinking goals. Though, of course, there is one day of week left.
It was an up and down week on one of my other long-term problems: displays of temper. It’s election season, of course, and for me that includes an immersion in some small town political issues for the first time. Community engagement in the Facebook era really does illustrate the best and the worst of our democratic system. I will say that despite getting provoked pretty badly and baldly at one point, I did better at keeping my cool than I might have in days past.
That’s despite the fact that while Anne has started issuing spanking threats again—a good sign regarding her medical recovery—given her objective physical condition those threats are pretty empty and will remain so for at least a few more weeks.
I'm also disappointed that summer is hanging on tenaciously where we are. I'd usually have a yard full of Halloween decorations up by now, but with my sprinkler system still on to keep my grass from dying, it's not really workable. It also inhibits the fall celebratory mood that usually leads me to posting a ton of Halloween inspired naughty pics and artwork.
I thought we had a good discussion last week. Thank you to all of you who provided topic suggestions. Some of the comments that didn’t suggest topics also gave me some ideas. So, I feel like I have enough to work with for a little while, but keep them coming.
One request around topic suggestions, however. When I say that I’m out of ideas and could use suggestions, and people are good enough to provide me with some, please DON’T respond to their suggestions during the then-current discussion. The whole reason I ask for suggestions is to use the results for FUTURE topics. It can sap the energy from that future discussion if everyone works it over prematurely. And, after ten years, it’s pretty damn hard to generate continuing energy.
Anyway, one topic that seemed to attract a fair bit of attention was “pegging” or using a “strap-on” for disciplinary purposes. I immediately locked onto it as the topic I wanted to do for this week, not because of the substance but because I thought I might be able to save some time and recycle an old post instead of doing a new one from scratch.
Thus, I was surprised when I searched all the old posts and found that I’ve never really done a full topic devoted exclusively to strap-ons as disciplinary tools. It has come up and, in fact, has been discussed pretty thoroughly a few times. But, it almost always happened in the context of a post on “alternative” (to spanking) punishments.
What struck me about some of those earlier posts is that I would usually focus in the post on grounding as an exemplary alternative punishment, but strap-ons seemed to grab the most attention in the comments. That pattern seemed to be on display again last week, when several people, including some of the wives, jumped in with comments or questions after Alan suggested strap-ons as a full topic. And, in looking through my art collection, it certainly does seem to be a prevalent subject. In fact, I have way more examples than I can use in one post. In fact, I have to work in this one by Paulo Serpieri because I love his stuff, even if this one doesn't have any facially apparent disciplinary angle.
So, since the interest level seems to be high, let’s do it.
As seems to be the case here more often than I like to admit, some of you seem to be a lot more adventurous when it comes to exploring various disciplinary angles than we have been.
We have done strap-on play, but that’s what it was – play. And, that was several years ago. Anne has never used it as a disciplinary tool or for role enforcement. In fact, I’m struggling to recall whether we had even started exploring DD the last time we tried it. I’m fairly sure we had, given how long that’s been, but I don’t think we were very far along in exploring any sort of explicit FLR orientation.
I’m very sure that when we
did it, I was the one who initiated it, which may be some further evidence that
even if I wasn’t consciously pursuing an FLR at that time, some of those
dynamics were percolating in my subconscious.
I don’t think either of us had a negative reaction to the experience, but since we haven’t done it again in many years, that says a lot about how much it interested us at the time.
I think that might be different today, at least it might if the express purpose was either as a form of punishment or if it were being used for role-affirmation purposes.
In
either case, I think it would involve Anne consciously trying to make it an
unpleasant experience for me, through some combination of the size of the
strap-on and the vigorousness of her use of it.
I also think there would have to be a very substantial change in her usual demeanor, with her taking on a very Top-like, dare I say, masculine persona.
When reviewing the old “alternative punishment” posts that led to robust strap-on discussions, I found this from Marisa, one of my favorite former commenters:
“I have used a strap-on several times as an alternative punishment and I will probably use it again as necessary. I first got the idea from Elise Sutton's blog during a period Jay was having some serious attitude issues. She is over the top on much of her female superiority themes, but she is right about the strap-on. It is very effective in inducing obedience and submission and the effects are long lasting. The problem with the strap-on for discipline is the time a session takes. If I need to I can administer a sound spanking in ten minutes or less. But punishing him with a strap-on takes an hour or more. Hygiene requires preparing and administering at least one enema which is time consuming. Actually, penetrating a man not used to it takes even more time as does making sure he is getting the message I am sending. Also, Jay at least needs much longer after care when receiving a strap-on compared to a spanking. I don't see the strap-on ever replacing a good spanking but when I need to get his attention it really does work. It also is something that can be used with family or friends in the house. A wife that is looking for an alternative to spanking might try it ,keeping in mind the time issues. If you have the time, it can be a good option.”
Al and Alan gave some great comments as well, but I hope they’ll join in this week with their experiences and latest thoughts on them.
So, what are your experiences with pegging? For those of you who have engaged in it, was it purely for pleasure, or for disciplinary purposes? If disciplinary, what is/was the primary goal? Punishment? Role affirmation/reinforcement? Displaying her dominance and his submission?
If it is about role affirmation or displaying dominance or conversely submission, was the strap-on used only anally?
If you’re willing, please give us some details. How did you determine the size to use? Was there a goal to use something large enough to make it uncomfortable?
What is/was her demeanor like? What was the emotional impact on her? On him?
For those of you who haven’t done it, is it something you are interested in? Why or why not? If you did give it a try, do you have a vision for things like the parties’ respective demeanors, how hard or aggressive it should be, etc.?
I hope you all have a great week.
