Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Forum: Question of the Week #31

Hi all. Welcome back.  I hope you had a great week and are going to be able to take some time off for the holidays.  This week's Forum topic comes from one of our readers, who asked:

 "Sometimes it is the stuff that revolves around the actual spanking itself that is more memorable - corner time, scolding, stripping of pants or underpants, etc."

Do you have rituals or processes that you tend to follow before or after a spanking?   Tell us all about it!  My own observations on the topic are in the first comment.  

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  1. When we first began experimenting with Domestic Discipline, we built in quite a bit of structure, largely because this lifestyle was so different from anything we had done before that we felt we needed formality and structure in order to keep us focused on making this an integral part of our life. Some of our processes included:

    -- Calling her "Ma'am" immediately before, during and after a spanking.
    -- Designating certain offenses as requiring a spanking, and allocating a presumptive minimum number of swats that would accompany each such offense
    -- Setting aside a regular time each week to review my behavior

    We have not done much with post-spanking rituals, such as corner time.

  2. When she determines I need to be reminded of my place it usually goes like this. When I come home from work if I am to be spanked she leaves a pair of white cotton panties ( female bikini style ) on the bed.

    I undress and then put on the panties and at once go to a corner of our bedroom and stand there with my nose against the wall, hands atop my head and legs spread wide with nose pressed to the wall and my ass pushed out as a target. I stay there until she comes to the room.

    Very calmly she explains the reason i am being punished and then uses a thick 4 inch belt on my ass. Usually 100 strokes. Should I move too much she will start over at one. This often results in the average number of swats adding up to 150

    After i spend an hour in the corner thinking. Then
    I kneel before her in our room and thank her for the correction. I am usually sent then to bed without food.


  3. When I am to be punished I'm told to fetch the whip. This means our thin whippy Dragon cane. It also means to chang into horribly bulky plastic diaper pants. These have two purposes - to make me feel embarrassed as I stand before Mistress naked apart from these ridiculous pants and, secondly, to prevent any unwanted dribbles on the carpet!

    Then I'm bent over the bench and secured into place. Mistress then pulls down the plastic pants at the back - so the pants are sill covering my front but my bottom is exposed.

    Post punishment, Mistress sits in the leather armchair and I have to stand, pants still around my knees, to attention, while she lectures me. Then she says, 'And what do you say?" That's my cue to thank Mistress for caning me.

    Then I have to turn around and bend forward to touch my toes to allow Mistress to inspect her handiwork.

  4. Rituals or processes: Well, ours is straight forward. My wife will tell me that it is time for my punishment and describe the offense I committed. She then instructs me to go and prepare for her, which means I go to the bedroom and remove all my clothes and stand in the corner until she arrives. The waiting is always tough – I usually get a bit nervous and get weak kneed waiting for her. She will enter the room and seat herself on a low chair or sometimes the edge of the bed. She instructs me to come stand in front of her and proceeds to lecture me on my misbehavior and getting me to agree that my offense broke one or more of her rules. She will then state: now get in position pointing to her knees. I comply by lowering myself over her knees with my bare bottom directly in front of her. Sometimes she will begin my spanking with her bare hand or just begin using the paddle. The spanking always varies in intensity due to the severity of the offense and/or how upset she is with me. She has become adept at reading my reactions and will only stop once she feels I am in total remorse and am usually crying and pleading forgiveness. There is no way I can fake it … she is too good at judging my reactions. Once she stops there is a bonding (which I yearn for) – with her holding me tightly and lovingly consoling me. The time may vary but is usually at least 30 minutes or so. Many times this bonding time will result in my getting an erection. Most often she will imply that we might have sex later that evening or at another particular time (the next morning) or she will give me the option of masturbating myself there in front of her. I usually opt for the sex date but have performed in front of her which she enjoys. If time allows and the offense was significant she will give me corner time as well.

  5. We're still relatively new to DD, but one of the first "rituals" my wife made me adopt was switching from boxers to briefs to be worn all the time. I've always found them to be a particularly embarrassing piece of clothing, but she insisted.

    Before a spanking or when I've earned one I'm told to go to the bedroom and stand in the corner, hands on my head. When she comes and sits down on the bed, she tells me to come over and proceeds to pull down my pants, then my briefs then I'm led over her lap for my punishment. Afterwards I'm sent to the corner with my pants and underwear at my feet to reflect.

    After some time to reflect I'm told I can pull my underwear back up. We then do aftercare and cuddle on the bed and discuss what I need to change afterwards which is a nice way to end corrections.

  6. I am not sure why this is so important to her, but if she wants me to be very submissive and go through a few weeks of frequent paddlings she sometimes demands that I shave my balls and pubes completely bald. Sometimes she says it is just for more comfortable oral sex, other times to make me look like a 100% submissive.

  7. Rituals of Spanking
    Rituals are important to couples whose DD is not 24-7. The rituals signal that “disciplinary rules” as my wife calls them are in effect and for us that means obedience and acceptance of her authority. Our rituals have evolved from when we started. Probably the simplest is she will simply firmly grab my bottom over my trousers and force eye contact signaling she is close to punishing. Sometimes it will just be a sharp crack over my trousers. It is a final warning meant to remind me she controls my ass. Grabbing an ear is similar but that usually means a spanking is certain. Taking my pants and underpants down slowly and deliberatively is one of our strongest rituals. It makes me very obedient very fast and she usually starts discipline that way, dropping pants to my ankles in whatever room in the house I get in trouble and then ear marching me to the “spanking room”. I think of that as the “walk of shame” because it involves trying to walk up a flight of stairs while my pants are around my ankles (try it sometime if you don’t think you will look silly doing it) Sometimes she will send me for her brush or strap after my pants are down and then take me upstairs making the walk of shame even worse. If I resist her taking my pants down she will slap me in the face not really hard but firm enough I know she is serious. This is something that has huge emotional impact for me. It just stops defiance cold and makes me very cooperative with her. Corner time is also an important ritual for us but she normally uses it only before spanking unless I am getting two separate spankings and then corner time after the first separates the first from the second. After spanking me she feels punishment is over. But pre spanking corner time is emphasized. I must stand on my toes, nose to wall, sticking my bottom out while she lectures me for my behavior frequently punctuating her scolding with hand spanks. It’s the only time she uses her bare hand to spank but I do feel it and it can go on for a long time depending on how angry she is. Eventually she will drag me over to the bed and force me to my knees in front of her sitting on the bed with the brush or strap in her lap. This is when I am expected to ask to be spanked and explain exactly what I did wrong. She wants me to basically repeat her lecture in my own words making sure I understand why she is spanking me. She puts emphasis on getting this right and in the early days she put me back in the corner several times before I got it right in what she considered a contrite form. She spanks until the point I stop struggling. Basically my bottom becomes numb and she expects me to signal that by raising my bum to meet the brush. She considers this demonstrating contrition. After the spanking is over she will produce a pair of her panties if she is going to make me wear them. She does this about a third of the time. The end of discipline is signaled when she tells me I have permission to pull up my pants. I must ask her permission and she must give me explicit permission to do this A couple of times early in our relationship I forgot this and received a second spanking but now it’s become a part of the ritual. Not every spanking is carried out so elaborately. “One the spot “spankings can occur anywhere in the house. For these she usually sends me for her brush or strap. They are usually done hard and fast beginning to end. If I am spanked in front of a witness the ritual is different. I am stripped and in the corner when the witness arrives. The lecture is short and the spanking is usually a series of spankings followed by corner time while my wife and her friend sip wine and try to embarrass me Overall I think rituals are as important as the spanking itself. My spanking are no picnic. My wife is very fit and prides herself on delivering a sound spanking but the ritual somehow makes it all an unforgettable experience and makes spanking work on so many levels.

  8. Rituals are what makes it all work for us too. Like you my spankings are no picnic, and corner time bare bottomed and freshly spanked while others are present it also part of our ritual at times. Hard to accept and at the same time fill me with a desire to please.


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