Sunday, August 11, 2013

Forum - Question of the Week

Hi all.  I hope you had a good week.  Sorry I am getting this out a little late.  This week's question is an offshoot of one I asked a couple of weeks ago.   It is about balance and growth.

In your relationship, or in looking closely at your DD desires, to what extent is your chosen role (the disciplined party or the disciplining party)  related to bringing some balance to your core personality.  Or, conversely, is it about doing what comes most natural to you?  We seem to come to DD for lots of reasons, and we look for different things. If you are dominant or controlling in your work life, do you crave submission at home? Or, vice versa, are you timid and shy in other aspects of your life, so you crave being the dominant party in in your personal relationships?  And, if the role you assume in your DD life is in line with how you are in the "real world," then does that arrangement help or hinder your personal growth?

For me, the DD lifestyle is very much about balancing out my domineering tendencies.  The last thing I would want is something that magnifies and exacerbates those tendencies.  But, others may feel very differently.  So, let's hear it.


  1. I feel very fortunate to have found a wife who from the very beginning understood my need to be spanked. My first spankings at the age of 11 delivered during the summer of love from my nanny/babysitter ignited a real passion in me around spanking and chastisement. I am senior executive in my working day, but at home I am a spoilt brat in need of a good old fashioned over the knee bare bottom spanking with hand or hairbrush. My wife seems to have sixth sense around my need for a spanking and she will usually initiate the discipline session just as I am craving a trip over her knee and before I say anything. I receive a regular maintenance spanking every sunday night before bed. This spanking will take place no matter whether i've had 10 or no spankings during the week. It is always in the living room with my wife fully dressed in a maternal style outfit. She sits on her red padded straight back chair. The spanking begins with a hand spanking on my pyjama covered bottom for about 5 minutes, then on my bare bottom with her hand for a further 5 minutes and then finally 5 minutes with the hairbrush. On occasions my wife has decided that a punishment spanking is warranted. The punishment spankings are longer and harder. If I have really misbehaved I may also receive a paddling, strapping and caning. This only happens when I really deserve it such several months ago when a speeding fine turned in the mail. My wife gave me the tanning of my life. My bottom was bright crimson by the time she had finished. I am the spankee about 95% of the time in our d/d relationship. Sometimes my wife will admit that her behaviour needs some correction. She is willing to receive a very sound (not too hard) bare bottom hand spanking that leaves her bottom with a pinkish tinge. I think our d/d relationship has kept us very close and faithful to one another and created a healthy balance in both our lives.

  2. As I've posted here before, my fascination with F/M spanking seems to have been triggered by a sound hairbrushing I received from an attractive aunt at the age of 11. Although at that time it did not seem intriguing or exciting, the memory of it became very much so just a short time later as I grew into full puberty. I have wondered from time to time if I would have had this fascination without that trip over my aunt's lap - but quite possibly as I had another spanking experience in my late teens with an older woman whom I was "dating" - still I wonder if I would have any spanking fantasies between the two events. But, back to the question of the week - I have posted before that I was very alpha early in my career (and perhaps even as a youngster - as that is what earned me the paddling from my aunt) - and that I am still in a senior management position. And, as I stated before, I do believe that my submission to maternal discipline does appeal to me a counter to the responsibility I carry at work. I am not, however, completely clear as to how the beginning of my spanking fascination as a young teen ties into role that my submission plays in balancing my dominant role professionally. Perhaps it just worked out that way - or perhaps the idea of submission was an appealing offset to my alpha tendencies even as a youngster. --Al

  3. I think “balancing” plays a part since in my experience most male spankees are strong assertive men in real life and many serious female spankers are more passive in real life ( there are exceptions) But I don’t know if the balancing is the root cause of spanking desires or maybe a societal cover for a role for men not widely approved ( yet) I am aggressive and even overpowering in real life but my real inner self is most fulfilled bare bum over a women lap or doing corner time after a severe spanking from my wife. I never feel more complete than when she totally takes control to the point my knees are shaking and I feel I can do nothing to stop her from spanking me. So to answer your question as well as I can I think the balancing is more of a cover to disguise the inner need to obey and submit to authority.

  4. With me, it's definitely a balance thing. I have a management position in my career, I direct people and things, I'm known to be pretty aggressive about it. A spanking is a much needed lesson in humility and respect. Have a my bare butt blistered like a naughty kid helps to mitigate some of my aggressiveness, at least for a while. I grew up with a lot of discipline and female authority, and it's something I still feel the need for.


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