Hi all. Happy Monday. I'm sorry, but this is likely to be another "no post" week. I have some family commitments going on and, honestly, I'm suffering from an acute lack of DD topic inspiration.
I did want to address one comment from Alan that reminded him of the below meme that I saw recently. Alan observed: "Has anyone noticed that the world has all gone to hell – at the exact
same time that I.T. has begun to take over the world? I know that
correlation is not causation –but still…" The meme seems to suggest the proliferation of I.T resources, including the internet, may not be the problem.
Dan, I’ve got a topic idea for you.
ReplyDeleteMy family and I just returned from an amazing, and sooo much needed, vacation. During the time together, my daughter shared a personality test that she had found from friends at school. It is located at https://www.16personalities.com.
I found it absolutely fascinating to see the description of my personality, my wife’s, and that of our kids. It made a LOT of sense, and helped me see both myself and my kids with a lot more clarity.
The reason I bring this up here, is that I was able to read into my personality description, and to a better degree, understand why it is that I really want to be disciplined by my wife, and what it is that drives me that way).
So if you’re looking for a great conversation starter for next week, that might be one to try - take the test, and see if it resonates with you at all with regard to DD and FLR.
Cheers.
Hi Chris,
ReplyDeleteI agree that test is pretty great. I took it recently myself. It was a bit interesting because it binned me slightly differently than I have usually come out on these tests, but I am pretty close to the middle on most of the categories, except for I am much more of an introvert than an extrovert. On the other hand, when they described me, it was very much just like they were describing ME. The one thing that I did like a lot compared to other tests, and the part that may resonate some here, is assertiveness, or general lack of it. But even there, I am not sure if there is a pattern since I think some of the regulars here have self-identified as being more assertive.
Anyway, not sure how it would play out as a topic, but either way I highly recommend the test for anyone who wants to understand themselves a bit better.
-ZM
I got the same result I always get on MBTI-type tests, which is that I’m an overthinker who can’t turn off new stimuli to settle on a course of action. No wonder I’m here commenting and questioning instead of ruthlessly pursuing my goals, or ruthlessly pursuing spanking for not achieving my goals. :)
ReplyDeleteMy experience is the opposite -- I get a *different* personality type virtually every time I take one of these tests. (I have taken the Myers Briggs at least 4 times for work and training activities.) That alone probably says something disturbing about my personality!
DeleteHi Dan,
DeleteMy ex-wife was a school teacher, and they had an in-service with an expert at Myers Briggs. This was back when it was just becoming the thing. Anyway, my wife brought a test home for me to take, and when the expert looked at it, she said "he will never be happy. I have never seen someone so conflicted."
Anyway, I did like this test that is linked above quite a bit, because I liked the way the questions were worded. I took it a few weeks ago, the first time I saw it, and then yesterday and again today, and I was thinking I was changing up my answers some, but in every case it said the same thing, and it pretty well described exactly who I am.
I was just happy and relieved that they didn't say I have no personality, being an engineer for many years and now CTO of a technology company!
-ZM
I had an experience similar to yours. I had to do a different kind of personality test a few years ago for an executive training group. It was a small group of about 11 co-executives from our company. The test was designed to show areas in which you might be somewhat extreme, whether on the low or high side. After we all took the test, the administrators showed graphs with the individual results, though with the names anonymized. When my results came up on the overhead display, one of my colleagues shouted out, "Wow, who is that freak??" A woman who became near and dear to my heart came up to me during a break and said, "That test with all the intense results wasn't me . . . but it was pretty damn close." :-)
DeleteEngineers have lots of personality. They just apply it in very interesting and idiosyncratic ways. ;-)
"That alone probably says something disturbing about my personality!"
DeleteAu contraire!
But it does undermine confidence in the "reliability" of the Myers Briggs as well as raise questions about its "validity" in typing personality. Enjoy these exercises but they have real limitations.
Alan
Alan, that's always been my impression as well. There was one I did several years ago that identified the takers as one of our colors. I don't remember what that one was called, but it did seem to give me some actionable insight into a couple of colleagues who I had a really, really hard time working with. But, all the others I've taken seemed good for entertainment value and that's about it.
DeleteOne of "four" colors . . .
DeleteDan, are you an engineer? I am as well, was wondering what your personality type came out as.
DeleteI work at an engineering company, so the “freaks” would probably be the normal ones!
No, ZM is an engineer. I've done a lot of work in tech but am not an engineer. If there is a personality type that comprises math phobes, that's me.
DeleteFor me, I came out as a Logistician. There are a few parts of this definition that really resonate here:
ReplyDelete1. “The sense of personal integrity is core to Logisticians. These personalities adhere to established rules and guidelines regardless of cost, reporting their own mistakes and telling the truth even when the consequences for doing so could be disastrous.” Yep. I definitely see the need for established rules, and find so much comfort in a framework where my wife establishes the rules of the household, and enforces them with her bath brush.
2. Strong willed and dutiful are strengths, but tend to be insensitive and judgmental. Yes on this one too - I often have a clear framework in my mind of my duties and responsibilities, but will often place these ahead of my more extroverted, emotional wife’s requests and need to be heard. Our relationship really benefits from her having a way to ensure that she holds the power, and I can’t simply walk all over her.
3. “Believing they are the only ones who can see projects through reliably, they often load themselves with extra work and responsibilities, eventually hitting a tipping point where they can’t deliver. Having placed the responsibility on themselves, they often blame themselves.” Check. I definitely benefit from my wife’s ability and authority to tell me “no” when I want to take on extra projects.
A question for everyone reading this. As you are all probably painfully aware, for the past year or so I have been almost obsessive about wanting someone to know about our DD, and hopefully at some point I want to experience one (or more) witnessed spankings. As my wife and I have talked about this quite a bit in recent weeks, I am trying to understand just what it is that makes this all so compelling to me.
ReplyDeleteI thought that maybe since some of you have some pretty great insights about the psychology of spanking (and really quite an array of other things), I would float this out there to see what thoughts everyone has. So please feel free to psychoanalyze me, though I prefer no value judgement about whether telling others or having others witness is good or bad, since I think everyone has weighed in on that before.
A few things I am sure of…
1)I have no interest in doing anything sexual that involves other people in any way, neither them participating, them witnessing us, nor me/us watching them.
2) I hate the very thought of anybody seeing my out of shape body in any context, even like when I am at the beach, and certainly not in any spanking or sexual context where I would be the one being focused on.
For these reasons, and because of my generally preferring to avoid attention wherever possible, I don’t think it is just some general exhibitionist trait that I have or something like that.
I do have a few theories, though none seem to quite explain this drive completely.
- The first is that maybe somehow it is not only a bruised bottom that I somehow crave, but also a somewhat bruised ego; maybe it is the feelings of embarrassment that surrounded childhood spankings (especially ones at school that others got and I didn’t) that are at the heart of my fantasy, rather than the physical feelings of the spankings themselves?
- The second theory is that maybe I am wanting that validation that both Alan and Danielle have talked about. If my wife can exert her authority to spank me in front of someone else, it is obviously pretty real and there is no denying that I am a spanked husband.
- The third theory is that maybe it is that this desire is so much a part of my psyche that I want to at least have a few people know about it. Could it be that I just hating having to hide from everyone something that is such a part of my identity?
Or of course maybe it is some combination of these things or maybe something entirely different?
I am looking forward to hear your thoughts!
-ZM
I use humbling as a disciplinary tactic. When husband is disobedient, he pays a penalty not just in a red and sore bottom, but in a "bruised ego" as you say. Me using feminization turns his macho stuff against him These ladies have seen him act all macho, but now they see him in a pretty dress and underwear and all made up and perfumed. I encourage them to make comments at appropriate times about how he isn't such a big mouth now and look at him all dolled up and over his wife's knee just because she tells him to.
DeleteIt might be you want a complete and thorough punishment. It's what I consider it to be for husband. Since I can't usually discipline right away, the penalty husband pays has to be more strict, anyhow.
Thoughts
DeleteI believe that the deepest desires of our hearts is to be known and loved, for who we are. That fundamentally underpins all our deepest longings, and is just who we are in our shared human nature. Even more than we want to be happy, we want to be loved.
We also have a deep need for integrity. Not in the sense of right and wrong, but in the sense that we need to be who we are. We feel a discord when we have to compartmentalize our lives, when who we are with one group is different from who we are with another. (We even dislike that in others, we call them hypocrites).
That need to truly be who we are, and to be known and loved for who we are, is worth reflecting on. Because I think that manifests itself in the desire that others know we are spanked husbands. That we don’t have to hide that part of ourselves from others. That we can be loved by our spouses, including that child-like part of ourselves that needs her loving discipline, and that we can express who we are in that relationship to others.