A forum for Disciplined Husbands and Disciplinary Wives to share their thoughts regarding Domestic Discipline and Female Led Relationships. No offense to our friends in the Femdom, BDSM and Master-slave communities, but that's not really what this blog is about. This site is for adults only and includes adult content. If you are not an adult or are offended by such material, please leave now.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
The Forum - Topic #58
44 comments:
This blog is a curated resource for those genuinely and positively interested in DD and FLR lifestyles. Comments that are rude, uncivil, inconsistent with the blog's theme or off-topic may not be posted or may be removed. Please use a name or initials (doesn't have to be your real one) when commenting - it helps commenters keep track of who is "talking."
Dan
ReplyDeleteA regular reader of your blog. This is my first time as contributor. I have been disciplined by my wife for 6 years now. Two weekends ago we were at a wedding of one of my wife's nieces. The father of the bride is my least favorite brother in law. It was a destination wedding, so by the time we got to the day of the wedding I had listened to my brother in law tell us a thousand times how much the wedding had set him back. We were at the cocktail hour and I confess I had consumed perhaps too many glasses of champagne, anyway, as he approached a group of us I rather loudly suggested he tell us all how much the wedding was setting him back. The guys I was with laughed and my brother in law sort of slinked away. Minutes later my wife approached with that look and I knew to go at once up to our room.
I undressed and stood in corner ( that is how our punishment sessions at home begin )and waited. She came in went to closet and returned with one of my belts. She said nothing which signals to me this wont be an easy session. She ordered me to the arm chair in the hotel room
and I grabbed the arms and bent over. As I bent over she removed her dress and there was no warm up. 100 swats very hard. I almost longed for the words but the silence made the sound of
leather on skin echoed. When done she ordered me to dress and to zip her up. I did. As she combed her hair she made it clear that we would return to the wedding and my first job was to go up to my brother in law and beg his forgiveness. The word beg was what hit my ears. We returned to wedding and hand in hand we walked up to my brother in law and I did apologize and I did use the word beg. I said I beg you forgive my boorish behavior and hoped i didnt ruin this
special day. He hugged me and all was well. A few hours later as the reception was breaking up my wife whispered in my ear I should go up and wait for the additional 100 she had in mind to remind me to behave like a good guest. True to her word I got an additional 100.
scott
Hi Scott. Welcome, and great first post. I hope you'll keep contributing.
DeleteDan
Yes. On more than one occasion was summoned home to receive a punishment. There are times that Mistress K. in in the mood to not want to wait to administer the punishment that has been earned. I would arrive home, strip naked and stand and wait for instructions. Those instructions usually are to stand, bend or assume a position bent over our bed to receive my spanking. When she is done, I am usually told to dress and return to the office. No other words are usually spoken.
ReplyDeleteThe lack of words on their part can sometimes be more intimidating than the strongest lecture.
DeleteDan
I don't even have two cents worth to add to this discussion.
ReplyDeleteMy job does not allow me to up and leave and go home for a session, then return.
I work alone, graveyard, so I can't 'abandon ship' like that.
Besides, it is 27 miles... and about 45 min. in easy traffic, which is rare in LA, each way.
The types of parties WE attend ...heh... are usually the type that commend themselves to situations of IMMEDIATE punishment for 'misbehavior',
Which is to say, the last dozen parties we've attended were BDSM - or spanking-.
Maybe she needs to come to you. Alone. Graveyard shift. Seems to present all sorts of naughty possibilities!
DeleteTrust me, it has been discussed.
DeleteHOWEVER
She has a MORBID fear of driving ... alone..at night... on the LA freeways, and it's a 27 mile drive, so not just a short little thing either.
One evening, we were talking on the phone, and after something or other, she joked, "I'm coming up there with a paddle!"
and I chuckled, and asked, "Shall I hold my breath waiting?"
She WOULD do it by bringing her ex-husband, who lives with us, as a ride-along, but HE gets up at 0530 to go to work, and just doesn't seem right to keep him up and awake for that.
I wish I could do something like that Dan, We both work the same hours, but it makes for a great fantasy.
ReplyDeleteSusie
Unfortunately, we no longer have that flexibility either.
DeleteI fantasize about something similar, such as a female coworker who slightly knows my wife, calls her and tells her I have been naughty and when I get home, I am ordered to the bedroom to strip and position myself on the bed for a spanking and then my wife comes up and scolds me for what I did at work and punishes me thoroughly. The next day I am sitting at work on a sore bottom talking to the female coworker, apologizing for my actions, her not knowing that I was punished.
ReplyDeleteBaxter
A worthy fantasy. What if you did something like self-reporting such work infractions and then being punished for them?
DeleteBaxter & Peter
DeleteAnna here. A few months ago I called my husband Peter's office. His assistant I could tell was upset. I knew at once Peter was more than likely bullying the staff. I got into my car and checked into the hotel down the road and called Peter and told him to get himself over to the hotel at once. He was puzzled but knew to get over
at once.
After being stripped, spanked and doing corner time, he returned to his office with
flowers and an apology for his assistant. When he got home that night I informed him that if I ever heard from her that he was behaving badly I would spank him in front of her.
anna
Do not 'fanaticize" about a spanking /paddling from a female--It hurts your bare butt BIG TIME I take an infrequent paddling bare--from my wife----and by that time she has every right to paddle me or do something much worse--I got it coming and I take it---however, my bare butt really hurts---It is an experience I got coming but I hate it---
DeleteGreat story, Dan - thanks for sharing! Fairly early on in our disciplinary contract, we had a number of family members over for Thanksgiving. Along the way, I was a bit of smartass to a brother in law that I really do not care for very much. A few minutes later, my wife found the opportunity to discreetly take me back to the bedroom - where she put me over lap and gave me a fast paced hundred or so with the DWC mini-cane. (She normally prefers a hairbrush or paddle as she enjoys the sound of the hardwood against my bare behind, but at the time we had teenagers still at home, and she had quickly adapted to the use of a switch or the mini-cane when a "quiet" spanking was necessary.) I vividly recall having to be bite into the edge of a pillow to keep from yelping and sobbing out loud - and it certainly took me a few minutes to compose myself before I could reenter the crowd. And like Scott above, I did have to apologize as well. There were a few other such "excuse us for a moment" sessions during family gatherings along the way - usually at our home - but even a couple of times when we were staying with family elsewhere. Later, she adopted a "preventative" approach, and before going into situations that were likely to get me into trouble, I would get a good sound hairbrushing as a reminder to behave . This seems to work as I've only been taken back to the bedroom once for a quiet switching with family present after getting the warning paddling before the event. That was a rough day - I got paddled before the event, switched during the event, and then received yet another paddling after the company left, as well as a disciplinary enema and pegging for flirting with a guest's date. --al
ReplyDeleteI know you aren’t married to my wife but she sounds so much like your wife they could be twins. My wife told the members of her immediate family (parents and three sisters) before our marriage that she disciplines me. (My brothers in law know too but they weren’t told directly) So there wasn’t much head turnings at family gatherings when she excused us for a “private discussion” which always ended up with me having an intimate conversation with her brush over her knee in another room.( they didn’t see but everyone heard) But she couldn’t do that at parties and I think she was getting some static from her mother about the spankings so she came up about five years ago with the idea of the “preventative” to ward off bad behavior at parties and family events. Preventative is her exact word for it. Since then I have wondered if other wives use preventatives the same way so it’s kind of cool to hear you talk about them, When she first started using them I objected (as much as out agreement allows because it didn’t seem fair to punish me before misbehavior. But her argument is I am almost certain to get in trouble at certain events without the spanking and the preventative saves her from enduring my boorish behavior and then having to spank me when we get home late. I don’t object any longer because they do work So far I have never gotten a second spanking when we got home. I have one other question if you can answer. What exactly is a “disciplinary enema” My wife makes me take an enema before using her strap on. Sometimes she makes me do it myself. But I have never thought of them as disciplinary although the strap on is disciplinary. Are you just calling the enema disciplinary because they happen together?
DeleteAlan
Hi Alan, maybe our wives secretly attended a clandestine DWC seminar together along the way - although our situation is a little different in that we kept our disciplinary arrangement private, although her Mom could have probably figured it out with all the obvious references, hints, and allusions to spanking that were made in her presence - but I think it is just too far out of her frame of reference for her to even consider the possibility. Her older sister, however, did figure it out, and eventually learned the whole story, and has now witnessed several of my spankings and even assisted with a few of them. But, we have generally tried to be somewhat discreet - by creating some background noise (tv, radio, etc) and then using a "silent but deadly" mini-cane or switch - when I have had to be disciplined when there were others in the house. I still wonder though if others besides my sister-in-law don't at least have a suspicion.
DeleteAs to the term "disciplinary enema" - yes, I use that term basically because it is part of the disciplinary process. But also the enema itself is disciplinary in the manner of application - in that is a 3 quart bag with a large penis shaped insertion attachment - which she delivers to me herself while I am over her lap immediately following an otk paddling. While the enema itself is not excruciatingly painful, the process is more than a little uncomfortable and humiliating as well. She usually requires me to set it up - having the warm soap suds enema bag hanging by the spanking spot on our bed, and with the enema nozzle, butt plug, lube, and her favorite paddles positioned on the bed for easy access - as well as her strap-on (a large, black ten incher). Then, after I have been paddled to sobbing, she puts down the paddle, and inserts the enema nozzle. Depending on her mood, she will sometimes stop the flow about half way through, insert the butt plug and paddle me some more, before replacing the nozzle and completing the enema. While I am cleaning up afterwards (and that can take a minute after 3 quarts), she will often get the strap-on ready and then have a glass of wine as I complete my business. Sometimes, I get by with just the enema but more often than not, I get soundly pegged as well. She uses a vibrating clitoral stimultor while tapping me with the strap-on so she usually has 2 or 3 orgasms before she finishes pegging me. The orgasms really getting her thrusting very forcefully, and combined with the ten-incher, I certainly have no doubt in my mind that I have been put in my place by the time she finishes with me. And that really is the point of the paddling/enema/pegging combo discipline - it is reserved for those time she feels that I really need to be reminded that I am not all that touch and macho after all - usually about once every month or so. But, of course, I still get soundly paddled at least once a week during my maintenance spanking - usually more often for some infraction or another. --Al
Thanks Al. I would say that really is a disciplinary enema with or without a strap on to follow. I don’t think I will be telling my wife about that soon. It seems every couple really committed to DD does it all in their own unique style (like your wife uses disciplinary enemas and my wife doesn’t (yet, lol) But in the big picture we mostly all have similar practices designed to mix control and discipline with love and nurturing. A blog like this is so great because it gives us a chance to both swap experiences and learn from each other. About my wife being so open with her family about discipline, part of the reason is that she had one marriage with a real jerk and wants everyone to know that’s not happening again. And so when I act like a jerk she goes on a mission Also her mother may have disciplined her dad with spanking. My wife thinks so although never saw it but she did find several paddles. Her mother is definitely not the type anyone disciplined while her father is pretty obedient around her. Also her father never raised any protest when I was taken into another room for a “discussion” I have also wondered if my brothers in law are subject to discipline but every time I raise that subject I am told firmly “that’s none of your business” It could be they aren’t but my wife wants me to think they are to strengthen her control. I would love to know for sure.
DeleteAlan
By far the most embarrassing day of my life was when my wife told her mother she soanks me and then took me to a room within ear shot of her mom and spanked me to tears. Now her whole family knoe
DeleteAlan, I enjoyed your comments above. Dan has taken the time and effort to set this group up for disciplined husbands and disciplinary wives (and perhaps those who are not but who fantasize about it or desire the lifestyle.) But, in line with the point you make, we are husbands who are disciplined by our wives - and probably for virtually all of us the heart of that discipline is the bare bottom spanking - tools and positions may vary, but I suspect that otk with a hairbrush or paddle is a staple for almost all disciplinary couples. Sometime back, in response to another of Dan's weekly questions, I posted about that very thing - that the otk paddling is the heart of our disciplinary regimen - but she does sometimes employ additional disciplines such as the enema, strap-on, butt plug, corner time, mouth soap, frilly panties - from time to time as a supplement to the spanking when she really wants to drive home a certain point. For example - getting caught overtly flirting or gawking guarantees me an enema and pegging after a sound hairbrushing. --al
DeleteThanks, Al. My wife has yet to punish me during a gathering. And, I hope she never has to!
ReplyDeleteOn the work front, my particular situation is not very well suited to being summoned home for a disciplinary session, and we live too far away for a lunch time "nooner" spanking at the house. I have, however, been sent to work with a well paddled behind on many occasions over the years - especially on Mondays. My weekly maintenance spanking is normally on Sunday night so my behind is still somewhat sore on most Monday mornings anyway, but in the last couple of years - about once a month it seems - she has adopted the practice of giving me a "booster" on Monday morning before I go to work - a quick 50 or so whacks of the Vermont brush before I go to work - so that as I start my week, sitting at my desk as an "executive"- I have a very sore, freshly reddened bottom to sit on, reminding me that I am not so tough and mighty after all.
ReplyDeleteThere was one notable work related spanking that I vividly recall. I had taken off early - midafternoon - as I had a work related meeting later in the evening. My wife had left work around 4PM and picked up her retired Mom to go shopping. On the way to the mall, however, she stopped by the house, ran in, grabbed me by the arm, escorted me to the living room couch, and gave me a hundred fast paced whacks with the hairbrush she keeps in her purse - just to remind me to behave at my meeting tonight (there are often drinks involved at these evening business dinner meetings). When she finished blistering my behind, she got up and said in a very matter of fact manner, "gotta go - Mom's waiting in the car for me to go shopping. I told her I needed to have a quick conversation with you before you left for your meeting. Be sure and behave yourself". I was completely taken aback that she had come in and paddled me in the living room with her Mom sitting in the car - as I picked myself up off her lap - I looked through the front window and could see her waiting in the car. For a moment, I almost thought she said that she "that she had to run in and give Al a quick spanking". And then she was off to the mall, a true disciplinary wife taking care of business. --Al
Dan
ReplyDeleteThis remark is written under the orders of my wife Anna, as part of a punishment that
I am being given for complaining to my wife for exposing our relationship here on
line. Anna feels it is important for me to read this site as a form of growth for me. This
is hard for me to say but I do acknowledge our day to day life is better and richer for
my being under her thumb. Having read that there are so many men who have
approached this with my attitude, I now can openly acknowledge that I am grateful
that Anna has become a true partner in our lives. So thank you Dan is what I am
trying to say. Thank you.
Anna's Peter
Peter,
DeleteYou are very fortunate that your wife, Anna, cares so much about your family and marriage. Discipline is a good thing, and it will keep your marriage fresh.
Susie
Very well said, Ms. Susie, and so true. :-) Too bad this forum doesn't have a "like" button... --al
DeleteTell Anna I'm not sure how I feel about characterizing reading my blog as "punishment." ;-)
DeleteDan
DeleteFYI I never used the word punishment ! Trust me ! ; )
anna
:-)
DeleteI so agree with Susie. I feel very lucky that my wife cares SO much.
DeleteOne of the agreements my wife and I had was that there would be no more unauthorized purchases by me since I had run up debt on our credit card. Some years ago I received a phone call at work from her asking about a purchase showing on our bill. I confirmed that I had made the purchase (a new DVD player) and she was irate. She was adamant that I had broken an agreed upon rule which would result in punishment. When I arrived home from work I was instructed to prepare for my punishment which meant waiting for her naked in the bedroom. I was given a severe over the knee spanking for my wrong doing. The hours of anticipating my punishment was as bad as the spanking itself.
ReplyDeleteI can relate on two counts. First, I also have received a couple of long and hard otk paddlings for running up the credit cards without prior agreement. Secondly, my wife does that "call me at work and tell me I have a bare asses paddling coming when I get home" thing at least once a month. It might be for some real infraction - or just because she is in a bitchy mood and wants to take it out on my behind - which I am obligated to accept under our agreement. Anyway, I end up spending the rest of the day thinking about it with that strange combination of anticipation and dread that so many disciplined husbands experience.
DeleteI'm sure most of the men reading this understand that mix of dread and anticipation. Thanks for sharing
DeleteMy wife has never ordered me home for a spanking but I once had a serious girlfriend who used a similar technique often. We lived apart much of the time and she would call me up and tell me she had been thinking about something I had done and decided I need a correction or she would say she heard something in my tone of voice and I needed a spanking.. She knew exactly how long it took me to get to her home and she would give me exactly that much time to “ present my bum” It meant I had to literally drop whatever I was doing and practically run to my car to avoid more severe punishment. When I arrived if someone was present she would take me by the hand and usher me into the bedroom where I would be spanked and then sent home without much ceremony or even saying hello or goodbye to her company.. If she was alone she always took my pants down just inside the door and then grabbed my ear and escorted me into the bedroom that way. The most embarrassing memory I have of these was one day she left me a voice mail telling me I had x minutes to get my naughty bum over to her house. Thoughtlessly I played the recording it when a male friend and I got in from a ball game. I will never forget the grin on his face as I hurried out the door blushing all the way to obey her.
ReplyDeleteOuch! I can't imagine the embarrassment.
DeleteThat sounds so sexy!
DeleteSusie
I'm with Dan on this one - I think it would be especially humiliating for another man, particularly one you know well, to discover that you are a spanked hubbie (or bf) - less so (for me at least) for another woman to know. (Dan - this might make for an interesting topic- the idea of another man vs another woman knowing). My sister-in-law did eventually discover our secret - which was embarrassing a bit at first but also somewhat sexy - and now she sometimes assists my wife with my discipline. However, I would be mortified for any of my male relatives to find out. --al
DeleteI think I would be mortified if any relatives knew. As for friends, we have one friend, female, who knows about our lifestyle. I really cannot imagine ever letting any of my male friends know.
DeleteWhy, fundamentally, do you find more humiliating than men know that you are punished by spanking when you misbehave rather than women (as long as you assume the need to be punished)?
DeleteI have an idea of the answer but I'd rather hear spanked husbands first.
It's a good question, and one that I'm not sure I have a firm answer to. But, I think it has to do with male to male relationships being more hierarchical and "pack" oriented. We're like dogs at the dog park, sniffing and growling at each other, until everyone knows his place in the social order of the pack. And, most of us are trained to be "real men" who not only cannot show vulnerability to another man but our heroes are those who beat up on other men. I think the humiliation from another man knowing about the discipline is directly proportional to the likelihood that another man will see the behavior as, in fact, humiliating. My wife isn't humiliating me when she disciplines; she is controlling me. It's a very different thing.
DeleteLike Dan, I also do not have a definitive answer, but I would say that our culture would make it very awkward and uncomfortable to be an identified disciplined husband. In today's culture, you might bet a little ribbing if you said "gotta go guys - don't feel like hearing the wife bitch me out" - but you would also get knowing nods, but you sure would get some strange reactions if you said "gotta go guys - don't want the wife taking that damn hairbrush to my ass again". Although, it might be a better world if that were so. :-) But to Dan's point, I think that the cultural inclination probably does derive from our basic nature - not wanting to show weakness around other males. --al
DeleteIt is also not without it's casualties. One early Forum topic (that got almost no response) was for whether readers had friends who they thought really should explore DD. Stressed out co-workers. Friends who clearly needed boundaries. Etc. I can't think of one friend in particular who I think is a poster child for needing some wifely discipline. And I mean that sincerely. He is someone who wraps himself in knots, engages in many of the same excesses I do, and could clearly use some imposed boundaries. Yet, I can't imagine ever suggesting it to him, and I think doing so quite possibly could wreck a friendship.
DeleteYes, but I would like to hear Susie's thinking. I have heard women say this before and I suspect it's because they know it's no part of the fantasy ( for heterosexual men) and hence real punishment as opposed to the turn on some get from fantasizing being spanked in front of another woman ( I know that the fantasy doesn't match the harsh reality of a real spanking. but there is only that harsh reality being spanked in front of another male, no fantasy to help get through the spanking.
ReplyDeletePlease ask your question clearly, and I will try to answer it.
ReplyDeleteSusie
My wife and I work together and one day I was being a bit too grumpy with our staff. My wife then texted me to come out to our RV and there she spanked me for my lousy behavior and attitude.
ReplyDeleteBill
HI Bill. I know another business person whose wife regularly protects the staff from his tirades. Sounds like your wife has things well in hand, so to speak.
Delete