Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Forum - Questions of the Week #24

Happy Saturday to you all.  For some reason, it seemed like a really long week, even though it began with an official holiday that does not actually seem to result in anyone taking a day off.

Note the title: We are going to do a bonus question this week.   Yes, two questions.  One of them a conventional spanking question.  One a bit silly.

Question 1:  Our first question extends a bit from last week's, or at least from the responses to last week's question.  The response rate to our first Ladies Night was not the complete flop I feared it might be.  We did get a few of the ladies posting comments, and I appreciate every one of them. What struck me was that many of spanking relationships depicted in those posts seemed to be of a pronounced FemDom variety.  Although we are experimenting with that a little more these days, it is still at the soft end of the spectrum.  I want her to take more control, be in charge more often and, frankly, be more bossy and domineering.  I do not, however, have a lot of interest in the whole leather and chains scene, humiliation, etc.  In fact, other than the occasional discipline session, our relationship is pretty "normal."

All this got me thinking about the range of spanking and DD relationships out there.  On the very soft end, I learned a new term recently: "funishment."  I really like that.  "Punishment," but of the fun, sort of playacting variety.  On other end, you have FemDom and hardcore domination with all the trappings.   We are somewhere in the middle.  We decided early on that we would not be doing "funishment" (though we had no such word for it back then), because we didn't want to create a situation in which bad conduct was rewarded.  Where are you on the spectrum?  More importantly, where would you like to be?

Question #2:  What is in a name?  In my case, not much.  Not much at all.  Until now, I have been the anonymous Disciplined Hubby.  I'm not altogether uncomfortable with anonymity.  But, it also seems a little impersonal.  I envy Bonnie and Hermione and others who have adopted at least a nom de plume.  But, I'm not all that inventive myself, and I see this forum as about you, not me.  So, what should my name be?  If you got to pick the name of person you told about your spanking experiences, what would it be?  I'm not promising I will pick among the suggestions, but I will give them all my full consideration.

Have a great weekend! And, as always, please take a moment to say something in the Guestbook.


  1. Mine is a FemDom or FLR far more than it is a DD, although spanking does play a good part in it. I'm not into the funishment type spankings either. Two reasons why I spank my sub: 1) to correct behavior and 2) because I can and I sometimes enjoy it. Where does that stand? Not sure but I enjoy it that way.

    As to a potential nom-de-plume, let me suggest you ask your significant other. Being anointed with a name by her would carry far greater significance than receiving it from one of your readers. If that doesn't work for you, then I'm sure you'll receive some good suggestions.


  2. 1 Ours is a female led relationship and we practice domestic discipline. Punishments are just that - designed to correct bad behaviour and as such they are quite severe and hurt to the point that my limits are always tested and mostly exceeded.

    I'm sure your good Lady can exert her authority without resorting to any kind of dressing up. When we played CP games early in our relationship we did dress up but we've found that since adopting this lifestyle, it adds some poignancy for Mistress to punish me wearing her everyday clothing. I think this is because DD is meant to be a part of our everyday lives, so why the need to dress up?

    2 garykane is my nom-de-plume for our blog but recently Mistress has begun to refer to me as obi - a term we can use both at home and outside without people being alerted to our lifestyle, in the way Mistress referring to me publicly as 'slave' might! we adopted the title Mistress very early in our FLR - at Mistress' insistence.

  3. Our relationship seems unique from most we read about in this regard because while Laura definitely believes in discipline, she outsources the job. So when I have accrued enough "demerits" I'm sent to a pro-domme for a correction session. Laura chose this route because she wanted someone who could be severe enough to make the punishments worth avoiding - she didn't think she could, or would care to. She also likes that she discusses the session with the dominatrix, so I don't know what will happen, how long it will last, or where limits have been set. She also loves the repentant look on my face when I come back through the door.


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