Sunday, October 6, 2013

The Forum: Question of the Week #22

Hi all.  Sorry for the slow start.  The weekend got off to a busy start.  Real life sometimes trumps the best intentions.  

This week's question comes from one of the Forum's members:

"Are written contracts a good idea? We tried it twice but it didn’t work for us but know another couple who use contracts successfully and read about many others. Contracts made us self-conscious and my wife (who went to law school) thinks they are inappropriate for discipline so we use a anytime any place for any reason system which works well for us."

To kick things off, we have never used a formal contract, but in the beginning we did set down a list of rules I was to be subject to, and we included a presumptive minimum number of paddle or strap strokes for each offense.  It did have the benefit of building some structure and regularity into what was for us a very new lifestyle choice.  I also think it had the benefit of relieving my wife of any qualms she had about delivering a hard and long spanking, because we had agreed in advance to the consequences for each offense.  If my behavior created a situation in which I faced an extraordinarily large number of strokes with a scary implement like our large fraternity paddle, whose fault was that?

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  1. We have never tried a contract. If I've done something to earn a punishment spanking she will just tell me that I'm getting punished then spanks me until she feels I've learned. If she wants to spank me just because she feels like it she again spanks me until she feels I've had enough. Our only agreement was my bottom is hers and she can spank when she feels like it.

  2. After entering into a discipline agreement I drew up a contract for my husband. First and foremost the contract, which he signed quickly and non-chalantly, was to keep my husband bound and comitted to my dicipline for one year and then we will re-visit the progress and lifestyle.
    My husband has learned a lot about business, not paying attention to details and hastily signing without reading.
    He's gotten way more than he bargained for but he's bound not as much by the contract but rather his word and honor.When he whines about something he doesn't like i remind him he signed the contract and this is usually followed by a spanking.
    Part of the contract does state that the bottom line is, ' I'm in control. I spank or discilpine when where andhow I choose not him!'
    I'll share more as time permits.

  3. My wife and I do not have a written contract. We have a clear understanding of what offenses are punishable by a bare bottom spanking. She has made it clear that she decides the severity and longevity of the spanking and her choice of implement. I also have a list of ongoing chores that I am expected to perform. She also enforces the rules with other forms of discipline such as … loss of TV privileges, mouth soaping, corner time, orgasm control & denial, early bedtime and humiliation.

  4. We do no have a contract. In the beginning, we did type up some basic guidelines to help us get started. But they really were not needed for very long, if at all. It quickly became the very simple tenet that she could spank my bare behind whenever she felt like it - for any reason or no reason - for as long as she felt like it - using whatever implement she chose. Much like that of the above poster, arechedone. --- Al

  5. Perhaps it would be a way the man knows how he can provoke a spanking, and thereby be a bad idea?

  6. A contract works for some couples some of the time especially in the beginning of DD. But I think of them now as “training wheels” useful at the start of DD to define roles and give necessary structure. But if a contact is carried on too far or too long it keeps the relationship from growing and adapting. We did use an oral contract in the beginning but within a few months found it to be artificial and not in the real spirit of DD. It’s a kind of crutch you use to get started but should grow out of. For us the only contract now is that my wife is in total authority and decides when where and how discipline is administered for any reason she finds necessary using any instrument she thinks appropriate. She is adamant in stressing no limits on her authority to spank and nothing gets me in trouble faster that when she thinks I am challenging her authority. None of that would work if we tried to live by a formal contract

  7. We have never tried or discussed any sort of contract. And in truth she would not discipline me if I told her I did not want to do it anymore. But there is something about the spanking, lectures, bondage, embarrassment, obedience that is so intoxicating and overwhelming, I could not imagine living without it.

    My wife Irene likes to punish me without a lot of structure or forethought. I think she would find a contract cumbersome. Not that she is not very quick to pick up the hairbrush if I fail to wash her panties any day, for example.

    Great site,


  8. When my lady decides that I need a thrashing, she simply leaves a paddle or hairbrush on my dresser where I cannot fail to see it. Then I wait in gleeful dread for her to summon me to her knee.


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