Saturday, September 21, 2013

The Forum: Question of the Week #20

Hello all.  Welcome back.  Let's get right to the topic for this week:

Without naming names, if you could introduce one couple you know to DD, who would it be and why?

For me, I had a good friend and co-worker at my last job who had all the earmarks of a tightly wired executive: controlling, always afraid of failing, carrying too much stress, engaging in inappropriate outlets for that stress, etc.  He clearly needed someone to establish some boundaries and relieve him of some of his decision-making responsibilities.   At the same time, his wife was clearly frustrated by his behavior but was conditioned to see herself as just following along in his wake, unhappy with their marital and family dynamic, which was dominated by his work, but not seeing a way to change it.  They always seemed to me to be a couple for whom DD might be a game changing experience, precisely because it would move them in a direction opposite of their natural temperaments, with him learning to be less controlling and her finding her inner Dom.

Please give us your thoughts and, as always, don't forget to fill out the Guestbook if you have not done so.


  1. An interesting question. My wife has discussed it with two of her girlfriends both in my presence and outside it. But neither of us has ever approached another couple other than one couple we know who do practice DD already. We also strongly suspect several other couples we know of being in a DD relationship but have no certainty of that. But approaching another couple who might fit the DD style probably isn’t something we would do unless they sent out clear signals of interest. One reason is that you never really know what goes on in a marriage and you would have to know another couple very well to judge they were good candidates for DD. The other reason is I believe the DNA is either there or it isn’t. No really vanilla couple is going to adopt successfully DD no matter how much they might “need it” Also I think there are thousands of couples in DD and no one would know from their outward appearance. Outside a few people who know nobody would suspect we practice anything but a conventional marriage but once that door closes my wife is all business.

  2. Speaking as someone who believes that an FLR involving spanking or caning is normal and healthy, I think all couples should adopt it.

    But, to address the question, I can think of a couple of female friends who have ended up with men who are terrible. The sort of relationship none of their friends can understand. "What's a nice girl like her dong with a jerk like that!" etc etc

    Such cases can end up with previously loyal and good friends not wanting to invite the girl to things anymore as you have to put up with him as well!!!

    My first post here, by the way. Just found the blog via FetLife and am enjoying it immensely.


  3. I would like to introduce my friend David and his spouse Kara to domestic discipline. I like David and I enjoy their company, but he is quite arrogant at times and very controlling. He would benefit greatly from a good, sound spanking as a lesson in humility.

  4. uwasd 7600I think that of all the couples both my wife and I know, we agree that my brother and his wife need to adapt
    the idea of a female led marriage.
    Both my brother and I were terribly spoiled by our mother and father. We are twins and they had lost two
    children to crib death before we were born. They were so grateful they indulged us.
    In college i luckily met my wife who quickly taught me to put her before me. I became a focused and successful man and a husband who enjoys catering to her needs and wishes.
    My brother has lost so many jobs and made his wife
    a wreck.

  5. I agree with the person who said that you could not introduce a female led relationship in a vanilla couple that doesn't have the DNA. What you might do however is steer a slightly headstrong Lady into a very dominant partner, given the right direction. But again, how do you tell from the outside. I'm sure there are very few people who have any idea that we live a DD lifestyle.


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