Facilitating and Participating

This blog has been around for about six months now, which seems a bit unreal.  Where does the time go?  It is very much a work in progress, and I appreciate all thoughts and suggestions on how to improve it.  One of our Forum contributors, Gary, sent me an email suggesting that I might consider participating a bit more myself, instead of just tossing out questions for others to address.

It is a fair point.  My reticence about participating more myself was, in fact, a conscious choice.  I have seen too many promising blogs and moderated spanking groups degenerate into some kind of on-line advice manual in which a self-appointed expert tells everyone else how spanking or DD "should" or "must" be done.  That is the exact opposite of what I am aiming for here.  I really want to learn from others and get their perspectives.  Also, I have had other blogs and I eventually got tired of hearing myself talk, or I got concerned that I was revealing too much about myself and my activities and thereby risking some of the anonymity that blogging provides.

But, I also recognize that getting the ball rolling with some of my own thoughts or observations might encourage others to participate.  Also, there are times that I do feel the need to do a bit of my own sharing.  So, with thanks to Gary, I will try to starting throwing a few more of my own thoughts and experiences into the mix.

I will try to begin with this week's Forum topic, which revolves around trying to answer the question of why disciplinary spankings are, in fact, arousing.  I say I will "try," because one reason I raised this particular question is that I really am curious about this and do not have a clue why some of us find domestic discipline, particularly receiving the discipline, arousing.  As I have said in previous posts, I was not one of those people who had an interest in spanking going back to my teenage or early adult years.  I do not recall having any interest at all in spanking until I was in my '30s.  I was spanked from time to time as child, but I don't recall having any feelings about it at the time, other than a  desire to avoid it.

The first time I recall having any sexual feelings connected to spanking was when I saw an HBO "Real Sex" episode that focused on spanking and included a wife spanking her husband with a riding crop.   I went from no interest to BIG interest in an instant.  My wife thought it was weird, but she was game to try it.  We played a bit with it, but despite the reaction I had upon seeing it on television, the purely erotic form of spanking did not do much for me.  It was several months later that I found the Disciplinary Wives Club.  My reaction to it was even stronger, and much more complex, than my reaction to the "Real Sex" episode.  I was massively aroused by the fictional and "real people" accounts of disciplinary spankings, but the submission aspect of it also, frankly, terrified me.

Today, the level of pre-spanking arousal is still there.  Perhaps not quite as strong but still there.  Yet, I still really do not know why.   I do know that as time has gone by, I am more and more interested in exploring my submissive side.  Or, to be more precise, I am interested in developing a submissive side, since I am not a natural submissive and have a lot of anxiety around living under another person's direction and control.  But, as to the basic question of why I get aroused when I know that I am to go through a very painful disciplinary spanking, I really do not have any idea.