Sunday, September 15, 2013

Facilitating and Participating

This blog has been around for about six months now, which seems a bit unreal.  Where does the time go?  It is very much a work in progress, and I appreciate all thoughts and suggestions on how to improve it.  One of our Forum contributors, Gary, sent me an email suggesting that I might consider participating a bit more myself, instead of just tossing out questions for others to address.

It is a fair point.  My reticence about participating more myself was, in fact, a conscious choice.  I have seen too many promising blogs and moderated spanking groups degenerate into some kind of on-line advice manual in which a self-appointed expert tells everyone else how spanking or DD "should" or "must" be done.  That is the exact opposite of what I am aiming for here.  I really want to learn from others and get their perspectives.  Also, I have had other blogs and I eventually got tired of hearing myself talk, or I got concerned that I was revealing too much about myself and my activities and thereby risking some of the anonymity that blogging provides.

But, I also recognize that getting the ball rolling with some of my own thoughts or observations might encourage others to participate.  Also, there are times that I do feel the need to do a bit of my own sharing.  So, with thanks to Gary, I will try to starting throwing a few more of my own thoughts and experiences into the mix.

I will try to begin with this week's Forum topic, which revolves around trying to answer the question of why disciplinary spankings are, in fact, arousing.  I say I will "try," because one reason I raised this particular question is that I really am curious about this and do not have a clue why some of us find domestic discipline, particularly receiving the discipline, arousing.  As I have said in previous posts, I was not one of those people who had an interest in spanking going back to my teenage or early adult years.  I do not recall having any interest at all in spanking until I was in my '30s.  I was spanked from time to time as child, but I don't recall having any feelings about it at the time, other than a  desire to avoid it.

The first time I recall having any sexual feelings connected to spanking was when I saw an HBO "Real Sex" episode that focused on spanking and included a wife spanking her husband with a riding crop.   I went from no interest to BIG interest in an instant.  My wife thought it was weird, but she was game to try it.  We played a bit with it, but despite the reaction I had upon seeing it on television, the purely erotic form of spanking did not do much for me.  It was several months later that I found the Disciplinary Wives Club.  My reaction to it was even stronger, and much more complex, than my reaction to the "Real Sex" episode.  I was massively aroused by the fictional and "real people" accounts of disciplinary spankings, but the submission aspect of it also, frankly, terrified me.

Today, the level of pre-spanking arousal is still there.  Perhaps not quite as strong but still there.  Yet, I still really do not know why.   I do know that as time has gone by, I am more and more interested in exploring my submissive side.  Or, to be more precise, I am interested in developing a submissive side, since I am not a natural submissive and have a lot of anxiety around living under another person's direction and control.  But, as to the basic question of why I get aroused when I know that I am to go through a very painful disciplinary spanking, I really do not have any idea.


  1. We spank each other and find it stress relieving. Many times she has me over her knee with her brush and I end up doing the "hiney dance" as she calls it. After this I am relaxed and our loving is terrific.

    Every now and again she will tease and taunt me by being slow and sloppy. Then I will turn her over my knee and spank her broad flat bottom. Soon she is dancing and after I stand her up she comes running to make love being extremely aggressive.

    Spanking makes our love making exciting.

  2. I also get very aroused while awaiting a spanking. My wife insist I wait for her completely naked. I always have a full erection before she arrives. However, once my spanking begins, it quickly disappears. When she first incorporated spanking into our DD marriage, she could not judge very well the point where I had ‘learned my lesson’. Over time she has determined just the right amount of spanking based on my red bottom, my voice and sincere pleas that I had had enough. At that point the close ‘bonding/healing’ begins which many times develops into my being permitted to orgasm.

  3. Let me begin by saying i am the anonymous writer that you quoted in yesterdays blog. I have been thinking long and hard about it all.
    Something you said in today's blog is what i have sought since hearing and seeing the aftermath of my Father's discipline.
    I do recall how changed my brother was the following day and for several days after his ordeal . There was a calm about him. Later when I was treated with a bare assed over the knee beltings in the same manner as my brother, I also felt that calm for days after.
    I am married now and my wife does the honors in the same way my Dad did 20 years ago. I think the calm I feel is the state of submission. The peace of
    knowing you have submitted to a higher power.


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