Saturday, August 20, 2016

The Forum - Vol. 171 - Firsts

Don't let your mouth get you into something your ass can't handle. -- unknown 

Hi all. Welcome back to The Forum - Disciplined Husbands and Disciplinary Wives.  Our weekly gathering of men and women participating in, or interested in being in, a Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationship.  I hope you had a good week.

You can really feel the summer winding down.  This one kind of blew right by me.  Lots of changes happening for us right now, though that's probably a subject for another time.  It's been another incredibly busy week, and I'm a little pressed for time.  This week, I can't say I'm feeling particularly inspired where new topics are concerned, so maybe we should try for some more user participation in the process.  Something that requires some story telling on all our parts.

This week's topic is, therefore, first spankings.  More particularly, first disciplinary spankings.  We all got started somewhere.  Whether we asked for it ourselves.
Or whether it was a little less voluntary.

What do you remember about the first one you ever got or gave?  Give us the details.  When? Where? What did you do to earn it? Or, was it just the culmination of a longer process? Did anything about it come as a surprise?

I hope you all have a good week.  As always, if you are new to this Forum, please stop by the Guestbook (tab above) and tell us a little about yourself.


  1. Dan
    I was 12 and went to spend the summer with my dad's brother and his wife. They had a small ranch where they raised cattle. They were childless and in their late 40s so my aunt arranged for me to play with one of the sons of a neighbor. He was 13 and quickly talked me into smoking a cigarette. I was taking my very first drag and went into a coughing fit. My aunt heard me, thought I was choking and caught me. She at once grabbed the cigarette from my hands, ordered the boy to go home and took me into the house. She gave me water and a lecture. Two weeks later she caught us again smoking. Without saying a word she took me into the barn and in front of my new friend sat on a bundle of hay, pulled down my jeans and then my briefs and spanked me till i was sobbing. I was angry and called her a bitch. She stopped at once and ran into the house.
    When I made my back to the house for supper, she was crying in the kitchen and telling my uncle what had
    happened. She was so angry she told him she stopped for fear she would hurt me My uncle asked me if I had said that i confessed and must admit was frightened. He then told my aunt to bring him his belt and he then proceeded to as he said " Finish what she had started" The combo of fear, some strange feeling I now realize was arousal came over me.
    For a long time i relived the part of it where my aunt spanked me.. So it began!

    1. Hi Peter. Definitely an early start! And according to Anna's descriptions of your temper and resistance to authority (same here -- in spades), you haven't changed much since. :-)

    2. There was no spanking at our place. But in the apartment next door, where my two best friends lived there was. Their Mom was always trying to tell my Mom that she needed to do it. But my Mom was adamantly opposed.

      On more than a couple of occasions, she made a point of showing me the inside of a closet door where she kept her spanking strap and straight out told me I needed it. She was SO right, on so many levels. I was a little bit out of control at times.

      It finally happened when my parents went out of town and left her in charge of me. I don't know if there was any agreement in the background. But I opened my mouth one time too many and she said "I had been begging for a good licking for a long time".

      She sent her boys to the park (but they could tell exactly what was up). She repeated the idea that I had been "asking for it" a couple of times and then marched me into the room with the strap.

      I cannot recall how she got me laying across the bed with my pants down. It happened too fast. But the strap I do remember. It was the braided kind and she made up for all the times she must have been frustrated watching me act like an arrogant little jerk.

      I never told anyone about it. But from that day on; one word, one look from her and I straightened up immediately. Her boys knew what had changed. But they were the only ones.

  2. Dan the last entry was mine


  3. At 20 having grown up in a family that didn't believe in spanking I married a woman who shared that spankings were very much a part of her life in her family. My wife told me about the ritual her mother used on her and her siblings. I found the stories strangely erotic. Within a few months of our marriage I had had a number of heated discussions with her mom. My now mother in law knew I hadn't been spanked growing up, after several warnings she one day told me I was disrespectful and that she was going to teach me a lesson. As she explained that she intended to spank me for a minute I thought it might be erotic. For reasons I didn't understand then I kind of froze and felt powerless to resist.

    She took me to the bedroom my wife grew up in and went to the dresser and pulled out a short strap, now I was getting kind of scared and the erotic feeling was gone, after resisting at first when she told me to pull my pants down I did as I was told and she bent me over the dresser and started swinging the strap. There was nothing erotic about this it hurt like hell, when she was finished I had lost all
    Sense of modesty and she told me next time would be worse, all these years later that is the most remarkable memory. There never was a next time with her but more soanking than I can count from my wife over the last 50 years

    1. Thanks, Anonymous. People like you and Peter make me think I have had a pretty boring upbringing and/or introduction to adult spanking.

  4. Dan, I struggled for a very long time after that first spanking. Was there something wrong with me? Why didn't I just refuse? Would people find out ? I was embarrassed and confused.. My wife at first thought it was a bit odd. I didn't want her to know and wasn't sure if my mother in law was going to tell her. My wife said she had a hint because she noticed I was wincing a bit when I sat down that day . When I told her what happened she said she knew the strap well and she knew a strapping from her mom was something you didn't forget. Over all these years my wife had in several occasions threatened to call her mom, she was teasing me. Mother in law is gone but what she started my wife on is very much alive

    1. That's a really great story. Thanks for sharing and participating!

  5. I don't recall my first spanking, but I can tell you that I was an adult, and that it was a man I was dating. I wasn't spanked as a child because I was very obedient. I witnessed enough of my friends getting spanked that I decided it was easier to be good.

  6. I clearly remember my first spanking. I was 17 and had just started dating the girl who would become my wife. She was an only child who lived with her divorced mother. Her mother was only 37 at the time. On a Sunday afternoon I got into an argument with my future mother-in-law and left her house in a huff. The following day before my girlfriend got home from work I called around to apologise to her mother. She accepted my apology but added that she thought my behaviour had warranted more than apology. I asked what did she have in mind. She replied that she thought that she should put me over her knee and give me a very sound spanking. I told her that I had never been spanked in my life. Well she said then this spanking is long overdue and with that she summoned me to her bedroom where she picked up a wooden hairbrush from her bedside table. She then sat on the end of the bed and told me get across her lap. I was amazed how excited I felt about getting spanked. She let me lay there for a moment whilst she chatised me for my brattish behaviour and patting my bottom with the hairbrush and telling me that if I continued to date her daughter this might be the first of many spankings. She then said that someone should have done this along time ago and with that she administered one very hard spanking. Her technique was a stroke on each cheek and then one in the middle on both cheeks. After several minutes she told me to stand up. She asked had I learnt my lesson. For some reason I said I don't think so. She said right then drop the jeans to your ankles and get back over my lap. As I dropped my jeans she must have noticed my very erect penis beneath my underpants. I didn't understand why I felt so aroused from having my backside tanned. As soon as I was across her lap she bared my bottom and proceeded to apply the hairbrush in a very vigorous manner. I then turned into a very compliant little boy promising to behave myself and be good and very respectful from now on. She let me up and told me to stand in the corner of the bedroom and reflect on what had just taken place. My bottom felt like it was on fire and it was bright red. As I was standing there my girlfriend came into the room and said it looks like I will know what to do in the future if you misbehave. Consequently, 25 years later I have been across both my wife's and mother-in-law's knees on many occasions.

    1. For some 40 years I thought my experience of being spanked by my mother in law was a unique and strange experience. I felt there was something really wrong with me for allowing this to happen. It wasn't until I learned how to use the internet that I found that while it is a bit unusual it's by no means unique. I was a strong young man and actually outwardly macho. I didn't understand the dynamic that caused me to go week in the knees and totally compliant. There may have been some very brief moment of titilation but when she actually laid hands on me that quickly vanished. I feel quite certain that there was no sexual component on her part, it was purely punishment, I have read the DWC site and the ritual my mother in law used was just as Aunt Kay instructs. After telling me what she intended to do to teach me some manners she scolded me listing my poor behaviors .

      When she told me to pull my pants down I initially resisted. She smacked my face really hard and then there was no further resistance . I stood feeling very embarrassed with everything showing. My modesty left when I felt the strap and while I did attempt to block the strap that only made her angrier and to this day I recall thinking I would do or say whatever to get her to stop strapping me. It took only a certain look from her to reinstill the memory of that strap .

  7. People who have been tracking the blog the last couple of weeks will note that I took down and replaced some previous artwork. I did so because the artist posted a comment that began with a fairly whiny "If you are going to use my artwork could you at least . . ." and then asking for attribution. I am more than happy to give attribution any time or, alternatively, take anything down, but it's a little hard when there is not the slightest indication anywhere on a drawing of who owns it, a link to their own blog or site, a copyright notice, etc. People will note that I seldom if ever post from sites like Endart that I know are trying to make money on their art, because if someone does want to do that I want to respect it. But, if you are an artist who publicly posts your drawings, how about putting a fucking signature or link on them or something that gives people a heads-up about how to contact you or even who you are, instead of starting with the snotty, overly agressive "can you at least . . ." Or, if what you is attribution or a link to your own blog -- which is totally fair -- how about starting with, "Hey, would you mind including a link to my blog" or "I am trying to make money on my work or just want to keep it to myself. Would you please take down . . ."

    1. Hi Dan and others...........Of course it would be just like me to present another side to this. As a writer/artist/cartoonist who has stumbled upon their uncredited work all over the 'net, I have to say it isn't always easy. I think it's why some people and some image-based businesses put their logo right across the face of their pictures.

      Sometimes when a person puts their work online in their own secure venue there is an assumption, albeit a naive one............that the work is 'safe' from predation. I myself thought this back in the 90's and did not sign everything I put on my own site. Big mistake. (Now I sign EVERYTHING and try to put the signature well into the field of the picture so it can't be cropped out.)

      But crop out folks still do. The worst example was a signed cartoon that I found later to have had its dialog removed and replaced with dialog I did not write. I felt like I had been violated! I don't want to be associated with someone else's unfunny punchlines......I'm too pre-occupied dealing with my own unfunny lines!

      I even found a reworking of that same cartoon on a site where someone took the image idea and exact dialog and just redrew it all with prettier and sexier characters defeating the whole purpose of the original. They just stole the whole thing from pose to gag almost exactly as the original.............and presented it as their own. (And to make it worse there were comments after it with a few people saying they liked the stolen version better because the girl in it was sexier....since the person drew her as a stereotypical torpedo-chested Dominatrix instead of the average housewife I depicted her as.

      Another time I sent a message to someone politely asking them to credit a piece of mine they were using and they wrote back saying they did not believe the work was mine since it was an illustration and its style did not match the cartoons of mine that the person was familiar with. So....they took my work, did not credit it, and then told me my work wasn't mine.

      After a bit of this one gets touchy. And while I have never been an advocate of a less-than-polite approach.................frustration can lead to wording one might later regret.

      I'm older now and a bit wiser..............but let me just would not believe what goes on out there. An artist's choice is to put themselves out there and hope for the best..........or over-protect everything and risk under-exposing the work they do want people to see.............(though not steal, or credit).

      As for asking for credit? Hey, as far as I'm concerned... I sometimes instinctively say "excuse me" when someone bumps into me! So if you are an artist who feels violated....take a breath and don't assume the worst about the person using your image. When they found it, it might have already been sterilized of any association with you.

    2. Don't get me wrong. I have absolutely no problem with people deciding to protect their work. But, your example of an artist posting something on their own secure venue seems to be the exception not the rule. But, it's an exception I try to respect. It's why I seldom post Endart drawings. Or Barbara O'Toole (that and the fact that she too often skirts the line between adult and adolescent subjects). Because they have at one time or another offered their works commercially and placed them in their own secure venue. And if someone posts their stuff and does not sign it or put a copyright notice, then I'm not sure why someone should take it down based on the word of some anonymous poster or commenter that they are the artist. How exactly is anyone supposed to know that.

      But, I do get your point that digital content can be altered, so people may "lose control" of their work less than voluntarily.

      All that said, my real issue was and remains tone. If you want something taken down, tell the blogger. If you want attribution, tell them. It doesn't need to be pissy and confrontational. Life is too freaking short.

  8. Dan

    I think I agree with you! I might add "Get a Life"

    a fan

  9. The LAST spanking I received from my mother, at about age 11, was when she figured out that I was no longer spanking-adverse. With no intent on my part, I had developed a (F/M) spanking fetish.I did not understand it and thought something was wrong with me, that I did not want anyone else to know about.

    The first adult spanking was many years later when I asked my wife to spank me, and she did not want to. When I persisted, she became angry and used the stirring spoon that I had brought to her (along with my request), to give me a very hard spanking, figuring that this would cure me of such nonsense. While I did not enjoy the spanking at all as it occurred, for the next several days my bottom itched. More important, I experienced an intense, very pleasant, and "intoxicating" sense of bonding to my wife, that I was not expecting. I was hooked. Now, several years later, my wife spanks me twice a week, out of love for me ... and I love her for it.

  10. M in the desert here:

    On the art first, I sell my art online (nothing of any sexual orientation) and use many ways of marking it, and preventing anyone from making a quality print of it. Yeah I’d prefer if someone is going to use it to attribute it if they can, but that’s not always possible the way things move around the net.
    So my feeling is, if you don’t sign it (in some way or another) don’t whine it.

    As for my first adult hiding: I was just out of college, it was a woman 10yrs. my senior, (who would a couple of years later introduce the wife and I to each other) and it involved a razor strop. Only other detail I will provide is that I could still feel it in the shower and sitting right afterwards three weeks later.

    1. M again:

      Carl, it’s quite a tale (pun intended) that if I took enough time away from my chores to tell it I wouldn’t be able to sit for a month when the wife was done with me. So let’s leave it at that Dan’s quote to open the topic pretty says it all as to how I got into the mess. I will add this though: Unfortunately, for my head, not ass, these days, Miss 10 older who excels/ed at ass searing strap/op swinging but has yet to master the self-correct on her Selectric is still a regular part of our lives. For more on me and the wife see the back and forth Dan and I had between July 17-20 in Guestbook 1. Have a lot more to say over there just haven’t been able to find the time.

  11. OH COME ON - don't tease us like that - you don't have to use any names or places - just give us the details.

    Carl H

  12. Dan

    Feel obliged to represent the ladies. My introduction to spanking for adults was limited to a few porns I had seen as a girl... It wasnt until Peter and I went to a marriage counsellor that it came out that from time to time Peter had gone to a professional woman who only spanked men. I was devastated. When I realized that it wasnt sexual contact I LISTENED to him say why. Peter was grateful that I didnt toss him from our home. At the same time I knew I felt too frightened and feared I would harm him if i did it in anger.
    After much reading on the subject I, with great reluctance, privately asked the therapist what he thought.
    He thought as long as I knew what I was doing why not try it. I first sought out a professional, actually a woman Peter has gone to for punishment. I went alone and she and I had several meetings where i learned
    how and where to administer a brush, a paddle and even a bit about caning.
    The next step was for me to work out an oral contract with Peter. There were two things I was most insistent about . One was no discussion if I said a punishment session was due it would happen when and how I said. The only other point I made was not sex after. We tried it and I felt a bit awkward but it was amazing to even Peter how well I took to it. I felt a sense of power and more like a partner. We have made variations and the boys now of an age to be curious have led us to friday nites when they visit their grandparents. I think we have a better marriage for it.

  13. The first time I received a spanking goes back 59 years. My mother never spanked me, I would hear and see about other kids being spanked and also witnessed it in school and from an early age felt I should be spanked. Several time I decided to be late to class enough to get paddle or do something that would warrant a paddling but would always chicken out before I would accomplish the task.

    Once I entered college I thought of college professors for some unknown reason paddling me and then when I started teaching I thought of how I would mess up to the point of the principle paddling me, but I never thought about my wife spanking me, it just never occurred to me that it would/could happen. You have to realize that as for as I knew, nothing was written about such a thing. My wife had been spanked a lot growing up and her father spanked her all through high school, and before we were married she commented to her girl friends that I had never been spanked. She was also a very take charge person, president of her sorority and in 3 years working in a large CPA firm received 3 promotions.

    I always thought it would absolve me of all my transgressions and once I received one I was right, I feel so much better after a spanking. Even though we never once talked about the spanking before or after she did comment a few times that they seemed to work wonders but they would wear off in 3 to 4 months.

  14. I remember my first back in 1958. My friend and I were playing with a lighter in a neighbors yard. She came out and dragged us home. My mother had company over but spanked me right in front of her. My wife has been very good from the beginning. She's always been open and willing and is very good at it. Like most of our group we have a wide assortment of implements she uses. She doesn't like straps or canes so I guess I'm fortunate in that light but she does make excellent use of what we do have. It's been a while since I've been over her knee. I think I'm going through withdrawal.

  15. I grew up in a non-spanking household so my first punishment spanking came rather late.

    It was the summer of 1990 and I was 17, my parents had gone away for a month's holiday with my younger siblings and I remained at home to earn money for my own holiday the following month by doing jobs around the house and garden, my eldest sister (9 years my senior) had just finished her medical degree and was staying at home with me for the summer.
    On this particular day a friend of hers came up to the house to collect my her and go off for a day's shopping, leaving me by myself. Being a warm sunny day, I soon grew tired doing my chores and decided instead to teach myself to drive - so I took my mother's parked car out for a spin on the country roads around my house, underage, no licence , insurance or experience I became overconfident in my abilities and crashed the car into a gate post while going around a sharp bend in the road damaging the front side, but I was able to drive back to the house where I wondered how I might cover up the act.

    It was dark when my sister came home so she didn't see the damage, however, the next morning while I was having breakfast my sister came in from her morning jog and asked me to explain what had happend to the car- I feigned innocence but she told me a neighbour who had been horse-riding in the field I crashed into had heard the bang and when she came to help saw me driving off in the car.

    To cut a long story short- after some conversation my sister gave me a choice, she would tell my parents and I would probably have to pay for the damage and not be able to go on my own holiday, be grounded for who knows how long and perhaps not be allowed to get my licence at 18 or take a punishment from her and she would get the car fixed and no more would be said on the matter. I asked her what she had in mind - "I am going to spank your bare bottom every day for a week" - the words rang in my ears and without thinking I accepted. And so I was to come to her after breakfast, lunch and dinner and before going to bed to take a wooden spoon spanking over her knee and a belt and riding crop spanking bent over the sofa arm - she did not hold back and I cried each time.

    However,something strange happend to me mentaly that week - by the fourth day I had come to feel that I truly deserved the punishment and was nearly eager for the next session and by the last day I didn't want it to end -we spoke for a long time on that final day and I asked her to keep punishing my until the family came home, which she did. For the next two years or so we would arrange to meet about once every two months for a spanking session until her work/ marraige and my college commitments took over. We never told anyone about it until I met my wife and I asked her to be my disciplinarian - she and my sister have spoken on the matter many times since. CRM


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