Saturday, September 10, 2016

The Forum - Vol. 173 - Surprises

 “Nothing quite encourages as does one's first unpunished crime.” - Marquis de Sade

 Hello all.  Welcome back to The Forum: Disciplined Husbands & Disciplinary Wives.  I hope you all had a great week.  I am finally past a particularly hellish period at work.  I'm still in a bit of recovery mode after existing on coffee and adrenaline for two weeks straight, but it's amazing how much better the world looks through eyes that were actually closed in sleep for 8 hours.  Of course participation has been down on the blog lately, so I'm not sure I missed that much.  It is definitely that time of year, with kids going back to school and others trying to squeeze the last bit of fun out of summer.  In any event, I hope to be a little more engaged with the blog than was the case over the last few weeks.  I admit, however, that I am still kind of stuck for scintillating topic ideas that haven't already been covered.  I guess that is the nature of the beast with a narrowly focused, topics-oriented blog.

A few weeks ago we discussed written contracts and agreements.  I usually try to run polls before opening up a topic related to them, but I got a little disorganized that time and the topic preceded the poll.  In any event, we got 94 responses on the topic of Do You Have a Written Contract or Agreement Defining Your DD Relationship

Yes
             24 (25%)
No
             70 (74%)

So, if positive expressions of consent are a necessity for these relationships as some vigorously maintain, those expressions don't seem to be documented in writing for most of our community.

This week's topic is a little nebulous, and maybe an extension of last week's.  (Which I realize may not bode well for increasing participation, given the minimal response last week.  C'est la vie.  It's the best I can come up with this week.)  Have you ever received a spanking as an unpleasant surprise?  Like maybe you were anticipating sex and got a spanking instead? Or maybe one came totally out of the blue after you thought you had gotten away with something?

27 comments:

  1. Not as a surprise. Perhaps unexpected but once being told of getting a spanking, not surprised. Never expected sex and ended up with a spanking.
    Have you ever done a week on "loss of privacy?" Like having to keep the door open when going to the restroom? Having her know where you are at all times?

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    1. Nope, I haven't done that one, but I could see how it could be interesting.

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  2. There have been times when J. decided I needed a spanking when I wasn't aware I deserved it - but that is part of the disciplinary rules I am subjected to. She is (and has always been) the one who determines when -and how - I should be disciplined. My only options are to fetch the instrument(s) she chooses to use, and to assume the required 'position'. This is particularly embarassing if her sister, or one of her friends is present !

    L.

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    1. After all those years -and all those whippings he got from his (late) first wife! - L. still has qualms about getting spanked or whipped when he needs or deserves it!
      That, of course, doesn't stop me from tanning his derrière whenever his behavior calls for it!

      J.

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    2. ... or even when it doesn't

      J.

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    3. Thanks, L and J. Seems to create quite a few opportunities for surprise!

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    4. Over the years, I have learned that I can _expect_ to be spanked often (usually for a "good reason", but sometimes not) and, to the extent that I "expect" them, these are not really "surprises" but part of the regimen that J. (and N.) have decreed.

      "Surprises" happen when a spanking or whipping is being administered (or threatened!) in "unexpected" ways or places - e.g. in a semi-public location, under the eyes of one of her girlfriends (other than my sister-in-law!) or at a dinner party with friends. Being spanked or whipped in a hotel room when we travel is, to some extent, "expected", but with the "surpise" dimension that we may be (and several times have been) overheard!

      L.

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  3. I don't know if this would qualify as a surprise spanking, but many times she will say we have to talk. That usually means a spanking is in order. also many of those times I didn't know I did anything wrong. During the talk I'm told what I did and that she is going to spank me. I'm then sent to strip to my panties and bring back the implements she desires.
    archedone

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    1. Is she generally right that you did something wrong? I often find it is when I am most sure I am right that I get it once I hear her perspective.

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    2. This would not qualify as a "surprise" spanking in my opinion. The fact that L. may not be aware (or is reluctant to acknowledge) that he has breached a rule of 'domestic behavior' doesn't mean that the paddling or whipping he gets is 'undeserved' or 'capricious'.

      J.

      Like you, Dan, L. usually accepts my 'perspective' ( if only, some times, AFTER his derrière has been sufficiently blistered ! )

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  4. Excellent blog!

    My wife and I practice orgasm control - I can only come when she allows me. This summer we were making love, and she was approaching her orgasm, as it had been a while since I had last come I was finding it a little difficult to control myself and hold on. She pinched my ear, slapped my backside and tried to stop me losing control. She was so near her orgasm and I just couldn't keep going, so I withdrew before I came.

    What happened next really surprised me, as she had never done anything like it before, but I guess she was just feeling so frustrated. She pretty much jumped out of bed and grabbed her hairbrush and told me to get out of bed and bend over the side of it. Then she proceeded to spank me, while telling me that I had to focus on her, and stop thinking about me. After she had warmed my bottom we got back into bed and tried again. This time, with a stinging backside, I was able to hold on and make love to her until she had her orgasm, and then she told me to withdraw and just kissed me goodnight.

    It was the first time that I had ever been properly spanked in the middle of sex. I guess it had the desired effect, as it got me focused!

    The only other time she surprised me, was when she told me to put on my chastity device - which we sometimes use - and I really didn't want to, so I demurred a little. She became really quite insistent and told me to lock myself up straight away or else she would spank me. She had never been so absolutely firm about me doing something that I really didn't want to before, and so insistent that if I didn't do what she said that she would spank me. It was surprising, but I guess it was a sign of her becoming more aware of the power exchange and what she could do.

    Thanks for the forum!

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    1. Hi Anonymous. That does sound like an interesting turning point -- when the wife finally becomes really aware of the changed dynamic and starts living it.

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    2. Absolutely Dan. Like most everyone I guess, I first floated the idea of orgasm denial, domestic discipline and male chastity, but my wife - having seen the benefits - has really taken to it, and now, if I have monents where I waver about the whole thing, she becomes very firm and says "No, I decide." i know, and we've spoken about it, that if I really wanted to stop we could chat about it and we would stop, but our dynamic is now such that her default response is to say "No, I'm in charge of the orgasms, I decide whether you get spanked or not", and that firmness normally gets me over any little bumps in the road I have.

      She really appreciates how her having the authority to spank me and lock me up and control my orgasms makes me a better husband. It's an odd feeling because I know I gave a choice... but in a way I don't. But we're both really happy!!

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  5. Dan
    If only I could go back to the good old days when I had gotten away with many things. Anna's found a voice and a strong left arm! She has no problem dealing out discipline and hate to say this but even
    when it hurts I prefer her this way!
    peter

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    1. Hi Peter. I suspect that my world will be moving in that same direction soon. Don't know whether I will prefer it that way, but I guess we will find out.

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  6. Early on in our FLR, my stress levels had been obvious to my Wife in the tone of my voice and the look on my face. She took it though and strode off into the lounge, leaving me feeling just a little bit pleased that I had "won" the argument.
    I only had a couple of minutes to savour my "victory" before she marched back into the kitchen, announcing, "No, I'm not going to take that from you!" She grabbed me by my ear and off we went to the bedroom, me doubled over. I can't tell you how surprised (and, later on reflection, secretly pleased) I was!
    Still stressed, but becoming more compliant, I pleaded my case as my trousers and pants hit the floor. I was still pleading some minutes later, my case again at first, but eventually for her to stop the most ferocious hand spanking over her knee she had ever dished out. Of course, she didn't stop until she was satisfied that I understood how much I had pissed her off and not to do it again.
    Sweetie told me later that she had felt a lot better afterwards and was pleased she had managed to assert her authority so compressively at a time when I had been so stressed and uncooperative. In times gone by, my stress would have escalated or festered, despite my knowing that I was in the wrong.
    You might think that our FLR with Sweetie using DD was off and running, going from strength to strength, but in reality, it ebbs and flows with our busy home life. C'est la vie!
    Thanks for your blog.

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    1. Thanks, Redshub. I suspect those ebbs and flows are inevitable in any "real" FLR or DD relationship.

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  7. Nearly all of the spankings I get are certainly no surprise, but there was one in particular that was a complete surprise. On this occasion I had gotten onto the roof of the house and discovered that the flashing on the chimney had been damaged. Probably it had been done by our adult son who had actually done me a favor and put up the Christmas lights several days before. Being my grumpy self, which was enough to get me spanked if I let it show very much I told my wife about it. She said she would pick up the caulking I needed for the repair since she was going out shopping anyway. Well, she brought the caulk home and since it was getting dark I decided to do the repair the next day. However, the next day I didn't get to it, or the next day or the day after that. All of these days were beautiful, sunny late-fall days. My wife assumed that I had done it I guess, because she never asked me if I had repaired it. Anyway, on the forth day I went to the pool to swim laps. It had been looking like rain and by now I had completely forgotten about the damaged flashing I had made such a big deal about. While I was gone, the rain set in big time and I mean it poured. I get home and as soon as I open the door there is my wife waiting, paddle in hand that is only brought out for true punishment spankings,looking very strict. I am still completely ignorant of my crime and I manage to blubber out "Wwwwhat did I do?". Not a word, she just takes me by the ear and leads me over toward the fireplace and I see the mess made by the water leaking and running down from the ceiling and the awful truth dawns. She then marches me into the bedroom and I get the blistering of my life accompanied by a lecture that has me crying and blubbering like a two year old. Then as soon as the spanking is finished, I'm up on the roof with a bottom that's on fire securing a tarp in place to stop the water until I can make a proper repair the next day. The only thing good about getting soaked was that the cool rain helped ease some of the fire that paddle had ignited in my backside!

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  8. I was never surprised by any but have one that was a bit bazaar once if that counts ?

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  9. Ok. Well several years ago in early spring I came home and she was in a super fowl mood. She said to take a shower and she would be in later to " discuss " it. She promised it was going to be the hardest spanking she's ever given ! I'm clueless but do as instructed. An hour passes then another. She finally walks in holding a 12 inch long, 3/4 inch maple paddle. She said come with me. We went to the kitchen , placed the paddle on the table and pulls a chair out. She decided to blindfold me with a purple scarf. ( a first ). She said don't move and left the room returning a few seconds later. She pulls me across her lap and instantly pulls my underwear down. No explanation on what I did just the promise to make this the hardest ever. She tightened her hold around me with her left hand and I felt her reach for the paddle. She raised her arm and brought it down with all her might. I could tell she was giving it her all. This lasted about 10 minutes. She said she stopped because her arm was tired. But this time was different from any other spanking before ( or sense). It didn't hurt. In fact it was pleasurable. You see , she didn't use the paddle. She used the newspaper. When I got up and took the blindfold off , she was smiling. All she said was " April Fool ".

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  10. Surprise spankings have definitely occurred...........too frequently to even single one out. I think that when the spanking is 'for real', and that incident was some thoughtless act, it only makes sense that the perpetrator would not be aware of their offence until it was too late. And that's how it's happened with us. To Rosa, her decision to punish will be well thought out.....but when she informs me of what I did and what the consequences will be, I am often taken by surprise. I will even get initially defensive. (I tend to do better when I am well aware of my guilt and stewing over it as much as Rosa. Out-of-the-blue instances are harder to process.)

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    1. I agree they are harder to take when you aren't 100% aligned on your degree of guilt.

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  11. Hello Dan. My name is Dev and I'm married to Jr. He showed me your blog and I find it very interesting and similar to us. I'm using his I phone on this reply. I looked at everything he has posted and they are all true. I have one point to bring out. In spite of anything he has said , he deserved EVERY spanking I've ever given him ! He does seem to write well but sometimes leaves a detail out to make himself look better and me the bad guy. I assure you this isn't the case. In fact. I'm going to " discuss " that with him today !

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  12. My queen allways has a leather whip stick whithin her reach. Correcting me with this is a consequent way for her to train my obedience to her. She uses her stick on my bottom varying from forgetting to put the toilet seat down after visiting the bathroom to correction for my lack of worshipping her in my daily life.

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