The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. - James A. Garfield
Hello all. Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club. Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and Female Led (FLR) relationships.
Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the female commenters who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.
Well, now with the most boring large-scale holiday of the year (Thanksgiving) out of the way, I can finally start posting Christmas pictures!
There is such a dichotomy between those two holidays in terms of the amount of kinky, sexy, and DD-oriented artwork out there. My biggest challenge at Christmas time is choosing among an extensive and growing collection of artworks. Yet, some are so perfectly suited to the season, I find myself coming back to them over and over.
This year, I’m particularly fascinated by Krampus-themed stories and art. Before last Christmas season, I don’t think I’d ever even heard of Krampus. Now, I’m seeing more and more cultural references with Krampus themes. I’m not sure whether it’s a good or bad thing that people seem to be exploring some darker stuff these days, but I personally love it. Maybe it’s because I’m such a Halloween fan, and Krampus feels like a bit of Halloween’s naughty darkness imported into my other favorite Holiday.
We did manage to get a jump on holiday decorating. My attitude has been better than usual (I love Christmas, yet putting up lights isn’t a favorite), though I did get a bit snippy when trying to do part of the job that Anne usually handles but can’t this year due to her ongoing medical recovery. It was fairly minor, but we’re getting to a point where I almost feel like something—whether large or small, serious or trivial—needs to register as a convenient excuse to get us back on track.
Anyway, thanks for participating in last week’s topic, which leveraged a comment from Aunt Kay’s husband about the DWC’s “confessional” group sessions. I knew it wouldn’t be some folks’ cup of tea, but we did still manage to generate some thoughtful discussion. I do still wonder how the Disciplinary Wives Club manage to generate a fairly substantial amount of club-like personal interaction, yet even among those here who are somewhat open to it, it seems like confidentiality concerns—and also a fair degree of aversion to anything regarding participation by others—outweigh whatever level of desire there is for more “community.”
I suspect some of the difference is attributable to the respective generations involved. Aunt Kay’s husband is now over 80, and I assume his age is reflective of that of many of the other original DWC participants. So, I assume most of them came of age in the late 60s and early 70s, which to my lasting chagrin turned out to be the high point of sexual and transgressive cultural experimentation. I was born a decade too late . . .
A couple of weeks ago, Alan posted an inquiry that is similar to, maybe a slightly different angle on, some our discussions about origins and how we each came to be in this lifestyle:
“Wondering …and a question. Miss E alluded to the Thanksgiving spanking her husband received. I will call it his “epiphany” spanking, using epiphany to mean the experience of a sudden intuitive grasp of the essence of something. This seems to be the moment he marks as seminal in his journey toward DD and spanking.
Much of the prevailing thinking about the roots of a spanking fetish and the lifelong impact of spanking points to this happening to most spankos. That is, something—a book, a person, an experience, or? “trigger” a pre-existing (predisposition) to spanking or being spanked.
What precisely produces the pre-disposition is unknown. It is probably some combination of genetics, hormones, gender, and environment. The predisposition itself probably exists in far more people than there are actual spankos, the difference being the “trigger” experience. Dan has mentioned his trigger experience, discovering the DWC. As I recollect, one or two other posters have also described such. But most seem to relate spanking interest to an early time that is not well recalled.
So, my question to anyone who can answer is: What do you remember about your evolving interest in spanking, and most particularly, what triggered the need to be spanked? Does anyone have an experience like Miss E’s husband or a late experience like Dan's? What was your epiphany?
It seems clear that Alan is right that, for most of our commenters, the spanking interest came very early and may not be tightly linked to a particular event.
I seem to be a very rare exception in terms of that early interest. I really don’t recall ever having any interest at all in spanking until I was well into my 30s.
However, while it was very compressed, there was a bit of evolution before I found the DWC.
A few months earlier, I had seen an episode of an HBO series called Real Sex, which included a segment on adult erotic spanking.
I don’t really think of it as an “epiphany” in and of itself. It did catch my interest, but that was a fairly horny period for me, and coming from a fairly inexperienced and vanilla background, lots of things caught my attention in that period.
It did interest me enough, however, that we experimented with F/m erotic spanking for a very short period. I think for both of us it was one of those things that was fun to try, but we both lost interest after a few few times. Moreover, Anne was concerned that in play-acting fake punishments for some real offenses, she was reinforcing behavior that was genuinely pissing her off.
But, the real purpose it served was fostering an interest in spanking that was at least sufficient to lead me to search out on-line material regarding it, in addition to other kinks. In the course of that looking, I came across the DWC, though I still don’t remember exactly how.
That definitely was an epiphany, though it’s honestly taken me 10+ years to process the “why” of it all, and I’m sure I still haven’t fully appreciated why it hit me so hard given my lack of experience with adult spanking in general and complete lack of interest at any earlier stage.
I suspect the DWC epiphany hit me so hard in part because it was so unexpected. As I said, at that stage I wasn’t very experienced kink-wise (not that I am today either) but I was interested in (reading about, viewing, etc.) all sorts of unconventional kinks. But, nothing had been remotely close to the reaction I had to the DWC.
Today, I think the reason the DWC hit me so hard while other spanking-related kink exposure did not is that the DWC prominently featured ingredients that were missing in whatever else I’d seen to that point: harsh, reality-based disciplinary consequences, delivered in a close, loving personal relationship, by someone with authority.
I also now appreciate how much a “maternal” vibe plays into my attraction, but I’m not sure whether that was a part of the initial reaction or something that evolved over time.
If you’ve had the kind of “epiphany” experience Alan talks about, please tell us all about it.
Also, let’s expand it a bit to cover not just the “need to be spanked” but, to get the wives involved, any epiphanies related to a desire to give spankings or take FLR-like control.
Was there a moment where you realized that your husband’s desire to be spanked had morphed into a strong desire on your part to do the spanking? Or, did you have an interested that pre-existed or arose independently of any desire your husband had?
Enjoy the season.
