Saturday, August 2, 2014

The Forum Question of the Week #53

Hello all.  Welcome back.  I hope you had a great week.  Last week's topic focused on fantasies.  One of the contributors mentioned wanting to be tied to a spanking bench.  I have never been tied down or restrained during a spanking, but I've wondered if it adds to the experience significantly.  How about you?  Have you ever been tied down or restrained during a spanking?  If so, what does it add to the experience, if anything? If not, would you like to be?

Have a great week.  As always, please take a moment to leave a comment in the Guestbook.

Dan

21 comments:

  1. That's a great question Dan. Like you, I've never been restrained for a punishment either. In some recent posts on my own blog, I discussed the dual edged sword concept of wanting to be punished in such a way that would take me way beyond where Mistress has currently take me, punishment/pain wise. I equated it to being required to eat my own cum, a practice that many FLM rituals require. The idea of being required to do something in my own FLR that is not something I want to do, is something that I believe should be required. Whether it is being required to eat my own cum, or to be punished harshly to the point that real tears develop, along with real bruises and welts, followed immediately by real regret, I find it erotic to be required to do something that I know I would resist hard when presented with it.

    To your point about being immobilized while being punished, I so dearly fear and so desperately desire to be punished in such a way that real pain is inflicted on me. Not because I like pain. I don't. But because a "real" punishment, for me, would require me to be restrained.

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  2. Only a few times with the girlfriend who introduced me to DD. It was at an early stage of our relationship and I was having trouble remaining over her lap until she finished spanking me. It created some tension between us with her screaming at me to get back over and me pleading with her to stop. I always ended gong back over until she finished but I probably ended up getting spanked harder and she was frustrated with me. I don’t remember if I suggested it or her but she soon acquired a pair of handcuffs and started to put them on me as soon as my pants were down even before I did corner time. Then she would pull me out of the corner and across her lap leaving the handcuffs on and leg locking me so I was really immobilized. That and my real desire to get through the spanking and make her proud of me again worked and I stopped trying to get off her lap eventually learning how to give in to the spanking. She spanked until my bottom was numb and I stopped struggling and she liked me to raise my bottom to the brush at the end signaling I was at that place. I think she used the handcuffs three or four times and after that I was trained to stay in place. I don’t remember any unusual emotional feelings when the handcuffs were on. They made it easier to submit to her and after a while they weren’t needed. I compare them to a cock cage when your wife is trying to stop or reduce masturbation. They make it easier until you gain the self-control needed to stop masturbating on your own or take a spanking without fighting it.

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    1. I wrote the above and rereading it I realize I didn’t say exactly what I intended. When she spanked me with the handcuffs on it hurt at least as much as before. But the hand cuffs helped me work through the fear I had of really letting go to the pain. Once I was through it a couple of times I no longer feared and I knew there was nothing I could really do to stop it (and I wanted her approval) I think that’s what some mean when they describe a desire to be held down or tied down. So I think some kind of restraints for training are OK but if you really want to submit to your wife’s authority and accept the punishment and grow with them you eventually have to learn to take it without restraints. I think that’s what most women want too, a man that will obey and not resist or defy her.

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  3. We've never tried this, but I'd be willing to try it. Not sure it would appeal to my wife, but one never knows.

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  4. I'm generally restrained during whippings. To be honest, I couldn't stay still otherwise.

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  5. Both Sub Hub and Anonymous touch on something that I think I was trying to get at with this topic. When I first got into DD, one of the elements of DD stories that really got to me was inevitability. The woman (and in a few stories, a man) would order the husband to take a spanking in some context where it just could not be avoided. No pleas would be entertained. Nowhere to run. No way to avoid it. Something about that feeling of helplessness was both terrifying and tantalizing. Now that we have been doing DD for awhile and I have managed to take some very hard spankings, I wonder whether the lack of restraints might be part of what is keeping me from reaching a point of submission and surrender where the sobbing starts. While I'm draped over a chair in the middle of a hard punishment spanking, I am trying very hard to "take it like a man," to some extent, I think, because the plain fact is that I am stronger than my wife and I know that if I really want to, I can get up. But, I try very hard not to. But, in that trying is an effort of will that seems to be working at counter-purposes to a full surrender to the situation. I wonder whether I would find it easier to just give up and let the sobs come if part of my mind were no longer focused on trying to resist the urge to make it stop, knowing that I was now restrained and have no actual way to get up.

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    1. Dan

      I think you have hit upon a very very important factor in submission. The point of being disciplined is to accept submission. To shed the "TAKE IT LIKE A MAN" attitude and
      accept your wife or whoever is administering the discipline as the one in charge is to
      find the peace that accompanies submission. Trust me there is peace in that. So cry out
      let tears fall if so inclined. Tears only mean you are feeling.

      peter b

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  6. When we first started our FLM, I was tied 4 point to the bed during spanking. At that time spanking would take place 1-2 times a week. After a few months she said I want to spank you in different positions, if I don't restrain you will you stay in position. I told her I would. That was the end of me being restrained. As I didn't know the difference then I have to say that I'd much rather not be restrained and know I have to stay in position.
    archedone

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  7. I've been restrained a few times. It adds a twist, but for me is not really necessary. I'm not going to run away. LOL The most interesting form of restraint that has been used on me a few times to great affect is a type of restraint without devices. I just lay on the bed with my butt on the edge while the woman in charge sits straddling my back facing my exposed posterior. My arms are pinned and her weight keeps me from going anywhere. The spanking that goes along with this is then one where the pace is faster than usual. For me a faster pace is worse by far than harder smacks.

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    1. I haven't tried that position but have been interested to try.

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  8. When Mistress first disciplined me it was for fun. I bent over, got whacked and it was all within limits both of us found acceptable.
    But as our relationship grew and we adopted DD as part of our female led relationship, Mistress became more adept at using the cane – to the point where I could not longer take her punishments without making a fuss.
    I’m sad to admit it but I found it impossible to stay in position for the more severe punishment sessions she felt necessary and, after much discussion, we agreed on the use of restraints, as much for safety reasons than anything else.
    Now, whenever I am to be punished I go over the bench and have my wrists and ankles secured so there is no chance of escape.
    As you suggested Dan, there is an air of inevitability about punishment now. I think there’s a genuine act of surrender – as well as ritual - when I bend over the bench now and Mistress fastens my bonds.
    Once secured I feel very vulnerable and it’s a rather unique feeling knowing I have to accept what is coming. In many ways my lack of self-control has brought about an even greater degree of control from Mistress and she is much more confident in using the cane when she knows there is no chance of miss-hits cause by my writhing around. As a result she seems willing to apply the cane with greater gusto than ever before.
    Like you I’ve not shed tears, though I’ve come close, but I do feel my rather helpless position helps focus my mind solely on the punishment. It feels like a far greater emotional experience as a result.

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  9. I have never been restrained when spanked by my wife. I think it’s because I know that if I squirm around, Ill receive more spanking. I always go over her knees and am very good at keeping my position while she administers my punishment. My wife’s friend (DD mentor) had suggested restraining the husband and inviting girlfriends to administer punishment as well (caning), but that is of no interest to my wife.

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  10. I only restrained my husband once. It was our first time and it was nice, but completely unnecessary. Lately, though, I've reconsidered it, and am thinking it might add that missing" something" to our relationship.
    Susie

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  11. From time to time I have to restrain my husband. I prefer not to tie him down but kicking feet is a sure sign he needs the restraints. We can go for several months without the offensive kicking or even worse a hand trying to cover his bottom. I do notice when restrained he seems to feel each swat more.

    annie

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  12. My mistress does not restrain me in a bending/kneeling position for the cane, but she always handcuffs me - I wear a slim collar (wyrd -slave) with an O-ring, permanently - to my collar so that I cannot touch any part of me afterwards.

    She keeps me that way for some time, and uses her fingernails along my stripes afterwards, for both the effect on my rear and often arousal.

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  13. My wife ties me spread eagle, face down on the bed when she punishes me with our heavy rubber strap.

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  14. My wife has trained me so well that she usually doesn't need to use any type of restraint other than having her right leg across both of my legs when she holds me over her lap and wields the paddle, the wooden spoon or the hairbrush. I also (willingly) bend over a chair when she chooses to use the rattan cane or the martinet - but, on a few occasions, she bound my wrists and suspended me from a hook in the attic before applying ths strap and/or the rattan cane to my bare, writhing backside (leaving marks that lasted for almost a week)

    L.

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  15. I want my wife to take me OTK, with her right leg over mine, holding my right arm behind my back, the give me a proper bath brush spanking, very hard & very long!

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