Saturday, July 13, 2013

The Forum - Question of the Week

Welcome back.  There was not a lot of response to last week's question.  I'm hoping this one will interest people a little more, though it is a bit philosophical.

Last year, there was a sensation around the Fifty Shades of Grey series.  While the level of interest in a fairly kinky (if terribly written) trilogy seemed to demonstrate a surprising level of interest in S&M themes, it was almost entirely of the M/f variety.  Does the success of the Fifty Shades series portend well for acceptance of F/m spanking, domestic discipline of the F/m variety, and the potential for expanded interest in the concept of Female Led Relationships?  Or, are there big impediments to wider adoption of F/m lifestyles?  If so, what are those impediments:

(1) The level of interest may be high, but societal norms prevent any kind of open acceptance?
(2) Few males are interested in such a lifestyle?
(3) Few females are interested in such a lifestyle?
(4) Other reasons?

I hope to hear from a lot of you on this one.  And, as always, please visit the Guest Book.

12 comments:

  1. I feel this book has brought attention to sm, feel alot more fm out there, than mf, since fm is kept within the home. How it is written does not matter, the subject matter is what makes it.
    My wife states women enjoy these type of books, but in our household I'm the one who is otk, not her. So it just brings to the forefront something that has been around for a long time.

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  2. I have always had the desire to be otk of a woman since I was a young child. After the computer and internet I learned their are many of us out there and we are weird or perverts. I thought for many years something was wrong with me for having these desires. I watch an on the street interview of women about spanking and it was okay for 90%. More men are looking for it than women. The book helps bring to light women's desires. Very sexual the foreplay with spanking a female. Men its feeling of being subservient or losing control. Fox network has had several scenes where spanking is brought up or happens over the years. I don't think society is yet ready for open f/m but I wish it was. The exposure of the internet has helped a lot for both m/f and f/m. Maybe someday on television you will see a woman spanking a man or teenager over her knee then we will know we have arrived.

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  3. I feel it number 3 is the main reason if you follow these blogs 95% males. In my case I have tried over and over to get my wife into the lifestyle she has tried but doesn't like
    1 Hurting me
    2 She likes me to be the strong one in the relationship.
    I have had her go to the DWC downloaded books.etc.
    I have been forced to see pro disciplinarians which isn't the same. Those of you lucky enough to have a wife willing to discipline should cherish them.

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  4. Its a plain rule we both accept--I drink and drive and I get a bare assed paddling i ne ver argue --I knowe I got it coming and its hurts alot---Now that our sons are older they know--and see cause the bathroom door is open--they get the same from their mom if they do the same---they know their dad is the biggest spanking wus--but its best they know I got to pay just like they do as drinking and driving is a bad thing---We have all gotten bare and the take it better then I---Luckily its rare for all of us---but it happens I hate coming in the door when I know I got to get my bare ass paddled

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  5. My findings is from my wife, she states firmly, that this lifestyle is popular and growing. She also states that more men may want this lifestyle, be aware, a spanking from your wife, may be more than you bargain for. My experience is a spanking from my wife, is just that, a spanking and trust me I squirm, and my bare bottom is very sore. If you think sex is next, forget it, women who spank do not want, no desire sex, not interested, as my wife puts it, sex with a naughty little boy, dream on. I get corner time, I go to bed early, and if I use a naughty word, soap is used. So think twice before you wish a spanking from your wife.

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  6. M/f spanking is much more prevalent than f/m if you are talking about real world spankings going on and talked about. In my opinion this is because cultural norms support women who are submissive but are dubious of submissive men. This seems to be slowly changing as women come to understand that spanking their husbands brings many plusses in the relationship while it doesn’t make a man less of a male figure outside the disciplinary scene. Eventually I think the number of men who are spanked by an intimate partner or who want to be will be close to the number of women who are spanked or want to be. The internet is opening up the number of f/m relationships that exist and that supports other couples who want to try it. Feminism and the increasing independence of women supports the same trend. I don’t believe all men need to be spanked any more than all women do. It depends on the person and has little to do with gender. However the number of men getting spanked by their wives or girlfriends is definitely increasing as the social taboos against it lessen.

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  7. There remains a macho element to publicising the fact that the male is submissive hence the preponderance of m/f over f/m. Of course, Western society is patriarchal and legitimates male control: the vast majority of domestic violence is m/f too!
    Nonetheless, there appears to be a growth in f/m and, indeed, more vicarious interest in accounts of female dominance. What is interesting though, is just how many f/m stories and accounts have to be outlandish, with women dressing in ridiculous clothes in order to apply a beating, or going over the top and become witch-like sadists. The idea that an ordinary woman can give a normal man a sound spanking is something that men still, I think, find hard to accept. Tanya Åas's new book is an excellent antidote to Shades of Grey.

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  8. I would have to agree with the cultural norm being the biggest aspect. There are a lot of men who fantasize about F/M discipline, but many would never act on it even if they could do so safely. Others would get one good hairbrushing and their fantasies would go up in smoke. :-) It seems that most women do not naturally take to the F/M idea - due to the cultural indoctrination imho. Although, it does seem that some women who might not find it appealing in their twenties or even thirties, might begin to find it more appealing after about 35 or so - I have read of this several times - and it was true in our casae. --AL

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  9. Just a further thought. My wife and I recently had dinner with a couple in their forties who have no idea about our disciplinary relationship. Somehow the conversation turned in such a way that our female friend said right at the dinner table in a restaurant that she loved a good bare bottom spanking, and that she frequently asked him for one at bedtime. The husband smiled but also markedly blushed. Now they are friends of ours, although not best friends, but it seems that this story points out that is M/F discipline is completely acceptable with an established couple - even if still just a bit on the edge. But obviously if I had said that my wife regularly paddles my bare behind, the reaction might well have been silent shock instead of a mild understanding smile. --Al

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  10. I got a married for the second time at 50. My first wife tried to understand and even tried a few times to indulge my fantasy. My second wife has been a completely different story. She said she thought the idea of spanking me was kind of exciting. One day early in our new marriage we were driving together and I got stopped for rolling through a stop sign. When the officer handed me a ticket after my futile attempt to talk my way out of it I yelled a series of expletives at him. The officer was addressing me through the passenger's window where my wife was sitting. She apologized telling him I was having a bad day, then she added " when I get him home it's going to get a lot worse". She was furious and when we got home she told me to " go wait for her" in our bedroom. I did and after hearing some brief phone calls she entered the room with a shopping bag. She sternly scolded me saying I had a childish tantrum. Then she took a hair brush from the shopping bag. She had me stand in front of her as she scolded me telling me I had embarrassed her and was rude to the officer . Then she pulled my pants down and told me next time I acted like that I would get what she was about to give me now.she spanked me until I thought I would say yes to anything to get her to stop. She loved my subsequent behavior and has been spanking me at least once a week since. I hate the spankings when they are in progress and my wife loves seeing how I respond to her every desire.

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  11. I think the problem is the very term S/M in relation to spanking. Actualy women are natural disiplinarians and certainly lead most relationships whether spanking is involved or not. True a lot of women want a man to be a man etc but there are a huge amount that also wish to be in charge or control that still see the male as a man. The S/M thing puts off a lot of women who like the idea of spanking because of the outfits, whips etc which they see as game playing. I bet that all the men who have a spanking relationship with wives, girlfriends of who ever spanks them want it to be just a natural part of their lives. I have been, throughout my life, been spanked by 30 something women, most over a period of time, a few just one off, but all had one common trait....non were the dominatrix model....which is fine if that is what you are looking for, but on this site it is more about domestic situations....but all enjoyed not only giving a spanking and being in control of the situation but also enjoying the discomfort that a good spanking creates without any malice as this appealed to their natural maternal instinct, which is to punish those who need it and are under their wing so to speak.

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  12. There is a distinct difference between DD and BDSM, leather masks handcuffs etc are part of BDSM. For those into spanking and DD the scene is usually more like that of a parent or teacher delivering a spanking for some infraction. I have had an interest in spanking since seeing a young playmate have her pants taken down and get spanked by her mom over her lap. We were innocently playing "doctor". I was fascinated and frightened. I have had fantasies about a woman taking my pants down and spanking me all of my life. Then I got married a second time at age 46. I told my wife about my fantasy and she said she understood. A month or two went by and then one night she said I had been dismissive to her and a friend and that she was going to teach me a lesson. I got very excited as she scoled me like a child and told me what she was going to do. I followed her to our room where she produced a short leather strap she later told me she found on the internet . After more scolding she ordered me to take my pants down and lay over her lap, I excitedly complied. She secured me putting a leg over mine and grabbing my arm behind my back. Then she landed the first strikes, the pain was startling. I tried to get up but she held me I place and delivered a flurry of slaps that hurt more than I could stand. I begged her to stop, in my fantasy it never hurt this much. Then she said I deserved this and kept on at a furious pace. I was kicking and squirming. Minutes later after reducing me to tears she let me stand. She said from then on this is what I would get if I misbehave. The spanking really hurt but I felt cleansed. She later told me she loved the whole ritual and she has kept her word. Over months she has added corner time and twice she has washed my mouth with ivory soap. She in very enthusiastic and there are times when it has seemed to really add to our sex lives. There are also times when she had told me I am going to " get it" when I was genuinely apprehensive as the spankings really hurt. This past weekend I told her I was feeling too sick to do some chores. She took me to our room and brought in a rectal thermometer and a jar of Vaseline . After taking my temperature and finding it normal she spanked me to tears with a hair brush. She loves this role playing, and I do as well although sometimes I think she is a bit too enthusiastic

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