2025 in the Rearview Mirror and Hopes and Goals for our Domestic Discipline Relationships in 2026 (Club Meeting 539)

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.” - Benjamin Franklin

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship

 

As those who have been around here for a while know, I usually do a New Years post, talking a little about how the past year went, and what I’d like to see happen next year, on the Domestic Discipline front. And, it almost always flops, but I like doing it anyway.

 

I often wait to do these posts until we are actually in the New Year, but I was feeling kind of bored today and also in a mood to think a little bit about I really do want for 2026.

 

Of course, if 2025 taught me anything, it was the futility of planning.  Though, that’s not quite right.  I’ve always been big on goal-setting, especially before I retired, and I genuinely believe that making written goals did help me accomplish more.  I guess what 2025 really taught me is not to get too attached to particular goals, because fate and circumstances often have their own agenda.

 

 

I’ve talked a few times about how 2024 ended, and 2025 began, with a big loss in the family and that it served to derail the whole year.  Although there is some truth in that, when I went back and looked at last years’ New Years entry, I was kind of surprised to find that I had noted that 2024 actually had some strong points before going off course right at the end.  In particular, I noted that these annual posts often were depressing because, despite all my goal setting, little seemed to change from year to year.  Yet, in 2024, I had seen real progress on several fronts.

 

Although my Christmas post was kind of gloomy, when you set aside health issues, it isn’t like progress wasn’t made in 2025.  Going through some of the issues I was working on when the year began:

 

·      Solidify the progress I made last year on reducing the number of excessive drinking incidents: As I noted in last year’s post, 2024 was better than 2023 when it came to drinking, specifically binge drinking. That pattern generally continued in 2025, despite some events that, had they happened in years past, probably would have led to over-indulging just to keep from exploding in tears or anger.  Yet, by year-end, I felt myself slipping back a little into some bad habits, like having a couple of drinks at dinner (which is fine), then having a few more at home (not fine).  So, I’ll want Anne to make a project of nipping that in the bud in 2026.

·      Renew and energize some friendships that I let drift:  As in 2024, I can’t say I made a lot of progress on this one, but I’ve figured out that, to a big extent, it’s because most of my friends didn’t retire when I did. They still have these pesky things called "jobs" and, in some cases, are still in family-raising mode. But, while renewing old friendships is probably on the backburner for now, I did make some new friends in 2024 and 2025, despite all the doom and gloom in the popular media about the “friendship crisis” confronting middle-aged men.

·      Multiple multi-state motorcycle and van trips: I did okay on this one, though not quite as good as I’d hoped.  Unfortunately, these goals were challenged in part by shorter travel calendars thanks to surgeries and other medical issues.

·      Reverse the recent losses in our investment portfolio: It was another good year for getting back on track financially.  I can’t complain on that front.

 

For this upcoming year, it’s so cliché, but I really do need to focus on fitness goals.  A couple of years of injuries, surgeries, and an arthritic knee have really taken a toll.  I went to the gym today for the first time in months and, while I won’t be able to do upper body work for at least another six weeks, I did do a modest leg workout and rode a bike for a while.  I was really disappointed at how hard that minimal workout felt.  I really don’t remember the last time my general fitness was quite this bad. Although I'd love to have help on this one, I suspect I'll have to deal with it largely on my own, though it could be a candidate for our weekly check-ins, assuming we get back on track with those.

I also do want to do some more volunteer work, which I thought would be a big part of my retirement, but it hasn’t worked out that way.

 

I also want to do more writing, in both DD and non-DD genres.  In 2024, before everything went to hell at year-end, I had completed most of book comprising a topic-oriented compilation of some of the best quotes we’ve had here on the blog over the years, with extensive topic intros from me.  It’s in pretty close to publishable shape, and I need to make some concentrated effort on getting that done. I also need to focus on writing non-fiction essays and moving forward with some fiction ideas I’ve had in the hopper for some time. Unfortunately, I’m good at generating ideas and not so good at actually developing them from there.

 

How about the DD and FLR front in 2026?  I don’t have anything groundbreaking in mind and not anything truly "new".  Rather, it’s the typical desire for “more”.  More strictness.  More consistency.  More frequency. More feelings of being under her thumb. 

Regarding more strictness and more frequency, back in 2021, a commenter who drops by every once in a while and goes by DD talked about his reaction to his wife adopting a much stricter persona when they first started DD and his wife took on a much stricter persona:

 

“The first time I cried it wasn't from the intensity of the particular spanking itself but from a culmination of spankings a few weeks after my wife first took me in hand.

 

I had been spanked and disciplined a lot in those first few weeks, and I think I felt a loss of control. That combined with the shift in my wife’s demeanor made me feel very unsure about what would happen leading into each time I was disciplined. 

 

Leading into this particular spanking, I was balking and trying to get out of it. I had a sense of panic at the point she brought me into the room and it was time to bare myself and bend over the bed. I had just been spanked the day before for something else and this was the second time I was being disciplined for the same issue in a week. I felt frustrated with myself and the frequency of misbehavior. I think deep down I was realizing I wasn’t the mature responsible adult I thought of myself as. Getting disciplined really highlighted that.

 

 I don’t know why but that spanking was the first I really tried to talk my way out of. My wife continued to tell me to bend over and take my punishment and that we would talk after. Eventually, she told me I was now going to be spanked for disobedience in addition to the original reason for the spanking. That got me lowering my pants and bending over. I will never forget the glare from my wife as I finally obeyed. I was already tearing up getting into position and it only took a few swats before I started crying. That didn’t seem to phase my wife. The spanking and scolding were long and severe.

 

After the spanking was over, she sat me down and said I was permitted to tell her what was so important before the spanking. I tried to rationalize not getting spanked so much but this conversation is what turned into us formalizing our FLR relationship. My wife made a lot of good points and basically doubled down on the fact that things were going to continue where they were heading if I wanted to be in the relationship. She said the only way I was going to get out of getting disciplined like a bad child was to fix my bad behaviors and attitude and always respect her as the authority in the house.”

 

In the 20+ years we’ve been doing this, there haven’t really been any periods like DD describes; periods in which the spankings are coming multiple times a week and she makes it clear that will continue as long as the bad behavior persists.  Is that realistic at this stage? Hard to say.  The reality is, my behavior is quite a bit better than it was back when I was working, but if she decided to really get on top of things like lack of respect, disobedience of one kind or another, and carelessness, it could add up to a lot. 

Do I think we really need more frequency?  Honestly, yes, I do.  I think she lets too much slide, and I think a concentrated period where she was setting the bar a lot higher would do us both good.  I think she gets it, too.  Several months ago, I was over Anne’s knee, receiving a well-deserved butt blistering for an offense that has happened many times.  During a short pause she asked, “Do I just need to spank you more often?”  Although her question was rhetorical, the literally true answer was “yes.” When I’m being honest with myself and her, it’s a rare week that I don’t do something that would probably merit a spanking. 

 

 

We also need to get back to our weekly check-ins, or maybe bi-weekly. We didn’t do them very often, but we both saw value in them. They helped keep me on track in some areas I wanted to improve in—like procrastination and putting more effort into certain goals—and I think her conducting the sessions helped solidify her role in her mind.

 

Like last year, I’d like for her to continue to explore a more overtly maternal role. It’s something we both gravitate toward, though we probably both struggle to define it.  But, I think we also kind of know it when we see it. Last year, I talked about the maternal vibe and decreased overt consent on my part as two different things, but I think they are part of the same emotional dynamic I’m looking for.  I want her to be more overtly in charge.  Although sometimes I can feel resentful for a while when she is tightening the screws, the reality is I feel better when she is setting and enforcing expectations. In many ways, it’s more about her attitude than about any specific DD practice. I want to experience her articulating, on a more frequent and consistent basis, Ideally, “This is how it’s going to be, and it’s going to happen whether you like it or not.”

 

 

Openness and others knowing about our DD relationship is a theme I’ve touched on here several times over the last couple of years, and it’s on my mind more and more. In the past, I had strong negative reactions to being embarrassed, yet paradoxically I now often feel a strong desire to have others know, or at least strongly suspect, the nature of our relationship. Our former commenter KOJ talked about how much more openly assertive and in charge his wife became after she retired, and Anne too has talked about how her retirement removed some of the psychological constraints she felt around being openly dominant.   

 

Although by the end of 2025 I was already really sick of AI slop, I do still kind of like this series I posted a few months, depicting a wife and mother who has gotten very comfortable being open about the DD dynamic in her household.

 

 

Do I want this exact dynamic? No. I wouldn't relish the prospect of Anne telling one of our daughters that I'd just been spanked.  But, maybe a some point she opens up to someone in her friend network?  Right now no one comes to mind, but you never know how things may develop, right?

 

Relatedly, although in the past I’ve shared a mild to moderate interest in witnesses with some of you here, I feel like that interest is getting stronger.  It used to feel more like a fantasy than a genuine interest.  Today, I’m pretty sure that if the right opportunity arose, I would be into being spanked in front of a witness or with another couple. 

  

Do I think these "openness" and "witness" goals might actually happen?  Probably not, and that's why they aren't really goals so much as fantasies/interests that almost certainly won't happen but that I think I would be open to in the unlikely event an opportunity were to arise.  And, even if these fantasies/interests likely wouldn't happen, I do feel like it's good just kind of throw my own openness to new things out to the universe and wait to see what happens.

I honestly haven’t given goals for 2026 as much thought as I probably should. This physical rehab and recent illness left me in an uninspired and not particularly reflective mood. Still, I think the above more or less reflects directions I’d like explore, if 2026 doesn’t throw us a major curveball.

 

How about you? How did 2025 turn out? Were there any interesting developments on the DD front that you’d like to share?  Are there any goals or things you’d like to accomplish—DD or otherwise—in 2026?  Do you intend to share those with your wife?

 

Finally, after almost 13 years of weekly posts, it's getting harder and harder to come up with anything truly new. And, I'm going to keep reminding myself of that reality so novelty doesn't become an unstated goal. But, if any of you have ideas not just for topics but for new directions you'd like to me to consider exploring in 2026, please let me know.

Here is wishing you and yours a great 2026.