“We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.” - Bryan White
Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Wives Club – Tribute blog. Our weekly on-line gathering of women and men who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship of the type advocated by the former Disciplinary Wives Club (archived copy in the “Links I Like” list, below right).
I hope you had a great week. Mine was kind of up and down. I’ve hurt myself, or worn out body parts, a depressingly large number of times over the years, but this is proving to be, by far, the most non-linear recovery I’ve ever had. I had a setback at the beginning of the week and could barely walk again, but I’m back on track going into the weekend.
It also was a topsy-turvy week weather wise. It’s back to feeling like autumn, but earlier in the week it felt like we’d jumped right over fall and into winter. I’m definitely not ready for that yet!
Thank you to those who contributed to our discussion regarding consistency. Among the tips people had on developing or maintaining consistency in the DD aspects of the relationship were:
· maintenance or scheduled spankings
· weekly check-ins
· journaling
· visual prompts, like leaving a paddle out
Something that struck me is that most of the tips, other than maintenance spankings, boil down in one form or another to self-reporting. I admit, it’s a little deflating, because I tend to think of consistency as something the dominant partner should embrace and drive, yet the reality in these relationships seems to be that consistency happens when the husband takes the initiative in a way that’s basically asking for it (expressly or implicitly). As T. put it:
“I think the consistency has increased, because I now bring it up to her. A sort of self-reporting.”
Norton also recommended an article by “The Wicked Queen” on the value of consistency. I agree that it’s very good, though I don’t think anyone really questions the value of consistency; the question is how to achieve it. And, as Will pointed out, there some inherent tension between consistency and “any time, any place, any reason,” grants of authority:
“But by definition, that rule is not consistent, since it is up to her discretion what is considered an offense.”
For this week’s topic, as is too often the case these days, I’m struggling a bit for something that (a) merits a full-blown topic, and (b) that we haven’t done to death. I’m going to go with something 3pops suggested a couple of week ago in the course of commenting on the topic of when each of us got our last real, non-adult (or non-young adult) spanking, though I wasn't sure at the time whether I could make a full topic out of it.
It began with Ward relating some school spankings, home spankings, and overheard/witnessed spankings:
“I'm fairly sure the last spanking i got growing up was at school in Junior High. Somebody in my group of friends was getting rambunctious on the playground around the younger kids. Rocks were being thrown and the monitor who happened to see me dodge behind a bush thought I was involved. To my recollection, I was completely innocent but another boy and I were both sent to the principal and we both got paddled for it, The thing that scared me was that my mom worked in the school business office, and I was sure that she had been informed. I was rarely if ever spanked at home, being the youngest. I avoided getting into too much trouble after witnessing my older brothers get whipped with dad's belt. I was sure I would get it when I got home but mom never said anything.
My interest in spanking was earlier than that. Having witnessed my playmates a couple of girls that lived next door when I was in grade school be scooped up by their father and spanked while taking them into the house for a proper bare bottom spanking, I can still remember the crying and begging before the screen door shut behind them. The two girls also liked to play House with one of them being the Mother applying a spanking to the other. That seems to be the origin of my spanking interest. My wife and I do not role play but she often compares me to an adolescent that needs a spanking. I seem to desire maternal guidance to keep my attitude and anger in check.”
T. responded regarding his own need for “maternal guidance”. I focused instead on the seeming arbitrariness of school spankings and the feelings that evokes:
“I think you're the second person to mention a school paddling that wasn't really fair. I wonder if that's one reason school spankings can pack such an emotional punch -- because of the fairly arbitrary power involved. It's about the most vulnerable position many were ever put in. You have an authority figure, whose word is law, but who doesn't always get it right.”
I also noted that like Ward’s wife, Anne often compares me to an adolescent who needs a spanking.”
It was at that point that 3pops responded:
“I think there is maybe something there for a future topic…are we all just boys, always? Always in need of correction because a part of us is always that glorious carefree kid, alive and unafraid, yet searching for boundaries?”
I don’t know whether there’s enough there for a full topic, but maybe the rest of you can help us get there!
Like both Ward and T., I gravitate toward the idea of “maternal” discipline. Yet, I’ve never quite gotten into the idea that adult DD “brings out the boy”, especially a little boy. (Though, 3pops didn't seem to be referring so much to spankings explicitly bringing out boy-like feelings but, rather, that on some level as men we still have the same behavioral tendencies, and emotional needs, that led to needing discipline as boys.)
It’s complicated though, because Anne and I do talk about how my behavior is sometimes like an unruly teen. The first time I recall it happening, she had suggested a spanking was coming for some bit of mischief that sent me into full-blown backpedaling mode. She said something to the effect of, “You’re like a teenager who keeps pushing and pushing and pushing mom’s buttons, then you act all surprised when she finally has had it and lets you know you’re going to be spanked.” It stuck with me and led me to prod a bit more on the extent to which she too gravitated toward a "maternal" archetype for DD, as I'd kind of shied away from bringing that up prior to her comment. It seemed clear, and it’s become clearer since, that the archetype of teenage boys being spanked by mom resonates with her, and with me.
I also recently came across this meme that equates some middle-age and teen-age behavioral issues. As 3pops suggests, maybe we never really outgrow that bratty internal child.
This seems to be an idea that resonates with several DD artists, as I have several drawings in my collection that emphasize this theme of men being spanked like boys, spankings bringing out the boy, etc. There are these two, in which the theme is fairly obvious.
There’s also this one, which at first glance seems to represent the aftermath of a maternal spanking, but the tattoo on the recipient’s arm indicates the “boy” is symbolic and it’s really a man who has been reduced to the level of a sobbing teen.
I don’t personally gravitate toward the “bringing out the boy” metaphor, but 3pops also referred to the search for boundaries, and I am very clear in my own mind that my need for DD is, at its core, such a search. In my case, however, it’s because I didn’t have them as a teen and, as a result, I have an outsized need for them now.
As I said, Anne seems to gravitate toward the archetype of moms addressing the behavior of unruly sons, and I’ve come across a few memes that explore this from a fictional spanking wife’s perspective.
These are maybe more emotionally over-the-top than anything Anne has suggested she feels, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some wives feel something along these lines, given that for millennia women were in charge of keeping and maintaining order in the home, and I wouldn't be surprised if an attraction to taking on that role is somewhat hard-wired and can be extrapolated to errant husbands, just as the need for strong discipline in a domestic setting resonates with so many of us men even if we didn't experience it growing up. A Jungian might attribute it to the workings of a collective unconscious.
For me, I think the attraction to the maternal model is not really about any kind of longing for childhood, so much as a deep-seated need for reality and authenticity. As I said to Ward, one reason that school and parental spankings have such emotional power is probably because there was no effective means of resistance, even if the imposition of a particular spanking seemed arbitrary or undeserved. The power differential felt authentic because the lack of control was real.
At the time, that created a powerful sense of vulnerability, and today some part of me craves that intense feeling and also craves the experience of a strong disciplinary presence who not only can, but will, order a spanking when they think it’s been earned, regardless of my opinions on the matter. There is something underlying my DD desire that strong links "maternal" and "real" or "authentic".
And, it really doesn't have anything to do with a yearning for spankings by one's own mother. As I've said, I was rarely spanked by own mother, and she was the exact opposite of a strong, consistent disciplinarian. For me, it's more about an authority figure taking control; it just happens to come up a lot in the maternal/parental context, and the reality of that power imbalance can resonate with me as an adult, taking me back to the feelings of being under someone's thumb that some authority figures could generate when I was a kid. I resonate with that "authority figure empowered to spank archetype, even if I got few such spankings as a kid. It's probably why I react strongly to things like this Tumblr audio series in which a neighbor overhears a mother giving a spanking and ends up asking her to spank him. Over the course of the series, it goes from him initiating to her making all the "when, where and why" decisions. He is strongly attracted to her as a mom who spanks, he gets her to spank him as well in what begins as an economic exchange, then it gets extrapolated into an adult relationship with a genuine power exchange.
And, I do gravitate toward being talked to like an adolescent boy before and during a spanking.
As I said, I don’t know what to do with this topic beyond 3pops suggestion, so I hope some of you will help get a real discussion going.
Have a great week.
ReplyDeleteConsistency is certainly a problem for us - or at least for me. For B sometimes delivering a spanking is just one more thing that she has to fit in to an overloaded schedule, and It’s at the bottom of the list. Having said that, although punishments are most often about something that has upset or annoyed her, we’re not together 24/7 so there are times when something should be punishable but she isn’t there to see it, so self-reporting can be important and it’s something that personally, I have no problem with. I’ve mentioned before the most extreme example of that, when I took a maneuver when driving that I definitely shouldn’t have done. I was alone at the time, no-one saw it except the guy I passed and there were fortunately no actual physical consequences. I knew at the time that I’d gone too far, I self-reported, asked her to deal with it and received the epic caning I deserved. I know I’m atypical in this group in that the whole idea of maternal discipline is completely foreign to me. I grew up in a community where to the best of my knowledge, there was no corporal punishment. The whole concept that DD is in any way related to something maternal is a huge turn-off to me, and I think it’s a logical extension to that that I can’t in any way relate being spanked as an adult to any kind of boyhood imagery. My interest in spanking developed in my teens with no apparent trigger, but it was a sexual thing then and only developed into an interest in real discipline in my forties. I read the Wicked Queen article you mentioned and I largely agree. If I do something that annoys her, I want her to tell me. If I do it again, there shouldn’t be any discussion, negotiation or “one more chance,” there should just be a spanking, immediately, or as soon as is practical. Again, to me this is an adult thing. We’re not kids, our brains are developed adult brains, and having long since agreed the structure of our relationship, both of us should know exactly what we’ve committed to, and follow through. Bottom line, if I do something that deserves a spanking, I want and expect to be spanked. The biggest single thing for me is being in a snippy mood for no good reason. My experience is that a serious punishment for that really does have an effect on my mood going forward and it’s in this area more than any other that I would like more consistency. Reading this, I guess I’ve addressed this week’s topic and last week’s together. TG
"The whole concept that DD is in any way related to something maternal is a huge turn-off to me ." Believe it or not, I do sometimes think about the fact that it turns you off when I write a topic that addresses it. But, it's such a big part of the motivation for many, including me, it's hard not to turn to it. And, it's gotten to the point that I'm close to at a loss for new topics, so when someone suggests a topic, these days I tend to go with it.
DeleteYou do have an interesting trajectory. As I've said, I didn't develop a spanking/discipline interest until my late 30s, so we're similar in that respect. But, I did have a lot of early exposure to spanking and was spanked at least a few times myself. You seem to be a little unique in that you developed the spanking interest despite no pre-existing exposure, and then three decades later it changed into an interest in real discipline
"I took a maneuver when driving that I definitely shouldn’t have done . . ." Although there are times I talk myself out of self-reporting, or I think about it but hem and haw until eventually it fades from memory, I think it would be different if I did something that I thought put someone else in serious danger. Not necessarily if I put myself in danger, as I'm kind of inured to that after doing somewhat risk stuff since I was too young to remember. But, I would feel bad enough about almost hurting someone else that the guilt probably would make me self-report.
While there was no apparent trigger for they original interest, the transition from kink to DD was driven by B finding the DWC website
DeleteGot it.
DeleteThat's also pretty unique. For those who came to DD through the DWC, it seems like the much more common course was the husband discovered it and that encouraged him to want spankings that were more disciplinary
Delete"B [the wife] finding the DWC site" - as Dan noted, F/M DD being introduced to the marriage because the wife discovered the DWC site is very rare indeed. In my experience (decades), It is virtually always the man who discovers it first and perhaps at some point shows it to his wife. (I did show it to my wife - but she immediately bought into it without any encouragement from me.)
DeleteI do recall one other such story - when my wife and I were members of Aunt Kay's DWC private Yahoo group (when there was an actual DWC, that required a phone call interview with Kay to join) - that we had one couple in the group (from Australia, iirc) where the wife had come across the DWC site and then insisted that her errant husband submit to disciplinary spankings if he wanted to remain married. He ultimately agreed rather than suffer a divorce, but absolutely hated the actual spankings and the whole concept. Nevertheless, the wife reported that he did respond and the marriage markedly improved. (This is such a common F/M DD spanking fiction theme that I actually had my doubts - but Kay told me on a phone call that she had spoken to both of them by phone and it appeared to be true). --al
Thanks for sharing that story, Al. That's definitely is the fantasy, isn't it? A wife who discovers DD on her own, then imposes it on her husband, who isn't on board with it at all. The first two fiction stories on the DWC website--Pretty Legs I and II--exemplify it, and those probably were the first two fiction stories I read on the DWC, and the DWC was my first real exposure to DD. So, that scenario was almost surely a key part of my initial attraction to DD, even if I now know that it almost never happens that way.
DeleteI should provide a bit of context. We met online in 1999, before meeting online was normal, on an early spanking site, so we had that shared interest anyway. It was purely play and sexual though, we had no concept of it as a real disciplinary tool. We used to go to a group called Scarlett Moons in the early two thousands and B had been to a Shadow Lane event before we met, although I never went to one. I’m normally pretty careful with what I say, even when annoyed, but when we had been together a little under a year, I slipped up and said something I shouldn’t, that I immediately regretted. B had recently found the DWC site and I had no hesitation in agreeing that it was the appropriate response at the time - and we’ve never looked back. So she found it, but she didn’t have to convince me. We were both very much on the same page. TG
DeleteYeah, 1999 would have been very early for making real electronic connections. Funny how a couple of decades later, it became about the only way for young people to hook up. But, once the DWC was on-line, I presume it was pretty easy to find, because there wasn't much out there involving wives spanking husbands and doing so for real. I don't recall a lot of specifics about finding the DWC, but I recall it coming up quickly, without a lot of digging. I doubt I search terms much more tailored than "wives spanking husbands", because I really didn't have any concept of disciplinary spankings being a thing among adults.
Delete(Al here)
DeleteI have saved files in my archives from the Usenet spanking group posts from as far back as 1997. My earliest files that reference the DWC are from 1999. I suspect that was when they went online.
I took a look at the unfinished Word file that Jerry gave me that included a section on origins of the DWC. Unfortunately, while it talks about how Jerry introduced Kay to the world of adult spanking and how that started to morph into an on-line community, it doesn't give any dates. It's not specific about how exactly it first started on-line, but I would assume it was the Usenet groups, since that was about the only game in town at that point. Here's what it says:
Delete"When we first started practicing this I had no one to talk with about it. I thought there had to be other women who were with men who needed what Jerry did. So I reached out on the Internet and discovered there was a huge need. Here I will tell you something else people who know me would say about me. I will go way out of my way to help other people. It’s in my nature. Questions started pouring in from women and men, and I had phone calls with some of them.
Before I knew it I had volunteers asking to help me. Again, I had no plan to develop some kind of big-time organization. That’s not something I ever had experience with. But there was this team forming up around me, and I had to lead it. It is my nature to roll up my sleeves and do what needs to be done. And yes, that definitely includes disciplinary matters.
Within the first year we built an excellent website. I wrote essays and articles, true-life stories poured in, and I published them on the web site (after always getting permission and changing enough details to scrub them for privacy.)
I can attest to finding the DWC in the early 2000’s. I introduced my wife to the site. The site is the main reason we went from erotic to DD. I think after reading the site and Aunt Kay’s quotes, it puts things into perspective. She was a pioneer and ahead of her time. Sadly, we haven’t seen anyone like her since. Dan, it’s great you were ably to forge a special bond with Tomy.
DeleteT
I think I discovered it in 2004. At that time, it was fully functioning, with updates added fairly regularly to the "Real People" stories and the guestbook. But, that lasted maybe a year before updates and stopped and functionality started disappearing.
DeleteDan,
ReplyDeleteMy wife has said all grown men act like immature boys at times. I’ve actually seen it with a lot of our friends and co-workers. I tend to agree with her. When we started our DD, I craved the structure that I had growing up. I made some mistakes with my ex, that I didn’t want to make with my wife. My mouth got me into trouble with my ex a bunch of times. I was young and immature. I needed someone a bit older who could put me in my place. I wish, I actually had met my wife in my twenties. When we got together, I learned overtime to not get as animated and watch when I raised my voice. She nipped the smaller things right away. When we got together, she said I won’t be doing all of the housework ect ect. I’m a bit OCD, so I didn’t have an issue with that. We will share responsibilities. She was giving me the structure I lacked with my ex. As you know, we have a traditional marriage. I brought DD up to her and she slowly adapted and noticed significant changes after a thrashing. I actually received a serious one yesterday. I said something snarky to my wife about an issue that was important to her, but insignificant to me. I basically ignored her feelings and looking back she was correct. Friday she was mad and said, I was getting strapped before bedtime. This did not happen and as I came to bed, she reiterated that I’m definitely getting strapped harder tomorrow for not coming up earlier. Sat morning, I ran errands and when I arrived home. She said once your done, come upstairs, I’m going to severely correct your behavior. I actually had chills. My wife followed through on her statement from Friday and I’m extremely tender this morning. It’s the hardest spanking I’ve had in a long time. She really laid into me and scolded me about her feelings. I felt like an immature teenager while she was scolding me. She then said, if I have to beat you all week, you will remember my feelings. I definitely felt chastised and got her point clearly. Hence the grown man acting like a boy statement. My wife seems to have found her ground lately in our relationship which is good and bad for me. I’ve craved this type of structure. I believe she does enjoy thrashing me, something that took sometime. She sees positive changes and the affection I show afterwards.
T
"My wife seems to have found her ground lately in our relationship which is good and bad for me. I’ve craved this type of structure. I believe she does enjoy thrashing me, something that took sometime."
DeleteI could have written something much like this myself six months ago. One of my biggest frustrations around my injury is that we had seemed to be in the early stages of a very big change in the level of Anne's enthusiasm about the DD aspects of our relationship. And, as with you and your wife, it took a long time. We've been doing this over 20 years, and it was really only in the last two that she seemed to start seeing it as something really core to the relationship and to really enjoy using it to assert herself and manage the relationship to a much larger degree
Yeah Dan, I can’t understand quite what took so long. I’m wondering if it was two fold. I think when we started erotically, it actually hurt us. A long long time ago, I tried to ease into it, because it was a weird concept and I didn’t want her to run away. I should have been more up front and open about my needs early on. Secondly, I feel that her upbringing initially hurt my cause. I didn’t realize her Mother was abusive at times. She had her mouth washed out w soap and was paddled
Deletegrowing up. She despised it and I thought it would affect her punishing me, like I need to be punished. Thankfully, she stated to me , it’s not my bottom being whipped. She is much more in tune lately to holding me accountable and giving me a serious thrashing. The type that you don’t want to have repeated. She ignored my pleas to stop and told me multiple times to stay in position. I don’t want to hit the wrong area. I struggled with the punishment yesterday. Sometime after the punishment, she was wanted some loving. I actually had a hard time focusing and couldn’t perform right away so to speak. I was sore and in a different state of mind. Almost in a different zip code . That is something that has never happened before. I seemed to be in outer space. I definitely feel for you and your injury. You seemed to be back on course. I remember when my wife was sick and needed surgery. We went through exactly what you’re going through and it took sometime to get back into the routine. My hope is she stays consistent moving forward. My bringing up my screw ups has helped. She’s not a mind reader, but this one was all her. She held me accountable and followed through.
T
T
By the way love all the pics, but especially the lady in the flower top and with her hands on her face. The sayings are spot on.
Delete"... the lady in the flower top and with her hands on her face" - I believe that is Jenna Coleman, who play a long running companion on Dr. Who. A lovely woman whose pixyish charm just didn't come out until that role. I always find it odd and kind of worryingly that I can get attached to a person who I have no relation to and the age gap would make it cringey as all get out, but, yes, I have imagined her as my disciplinarian.
DeleteTom
Tom, I didn't recognize her when I posted but, if it is her, I thought she was great in Sandman on Netflix. A very under-appreciated show.
DeleteT., our trajectory was somewhat similar to that, though it was compressed. We did start out with erotic spankings, but it wasn't because I was trying to ease her into it. I had no idea at that point that non-erotic spankings of adults was even a thing. But, like you, it did hurt us, because she became convinced that erotic spankings, with role play that often revolved around real misbehavior, was just reinforcing and rewarding bad behavior. So, she cut it off completely for a while. It was a few months after that that I discovered the DWC and introduced the concept to her.
DeleteI do recall getting my mouth washed out with soap at least once growing up. I had a potty mouth at a surprisingly young age, and that's never really changed.
"I was sore and in a different state of mind. Almost in a different zip code." I've had that happen a handful of times. It tended to happen on rare occasions where she was clearly angrier about something that I thought was merited or where she delivered a much harder spanking than I had anticipated, in a way that suggested she was taking firmer control and holding me to a much higher standard.
For me DD is neither maternal or interacting with my ‘inner boy’, although I have no issue with either of those. It is primarily a sexual interest that has grown much wider to include real discipline, accountability and a balancing of our relationship. It is my belief that couples deal with conflict in a variety of ways - arguing, passive aggression, coldness, etc. DD is a much ‘purer’ way of dealing with conflict, much more black and white. You misbehave, you get a painful punishment and move on. There are very few of the emotional complexities that ‘normal’ relationships exhibit around such poor behaviour. That is why DD works for me. TB
ReplyDelete"DD is a much ‘purer’ way of dealing with conflict, much more black and white." I like that way of looking at it. There is a simplicity to it that outsiders might see as unfair or dictatorial, but the lack of "emotional complexities" as you put it can be a big positive, at least in comparison to the passive-aggressive dispute mechanisms so many vanilla couples are locked into.
DeleteAfter posting this post, this AI video came up in my feed and seemed loosely consistent with the topic. It's from the spanked2realtears blog on Tumblr.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.tumblr.com/spanked2realtears/830843767534829568
I completely agree with what Dan said about gravitating to being talked to like an adolescent boy before an during a spanking. My last spanking was interesting in that she had spanked me a couple of days before but I wasn't in the mood and complained and begged her not to like an adolescent boy being somewhat defiant but wanting to get it over with. I still got spanked but sensing my mood she backed off and went easy on me. The next day she regretted not giving me the blistering I deserved. I eventually got a memorable spanking and before and during i was being lectured like a little boy whose behavior disappointed her. It always seems to be the lecture that makes me remember to behave. I hate being spanked but her letting me know how disappointed she is. It's definitely why it is so important to me. The desire is to please her and when she uses the paddle to express her displeasure with me. It's connecting me to her at a different level it's very intimate and the love I feel for her after she has punished me is hard to describe. I think it's why im so turned on thinking about it afterwards even though I hated the pain. It is like a clean slate. The opportunity to please her a new.
ReplyDeleteFor me, once I know I'm in for one, there is always that tension between wanting to delay/avoid, on the one hand, and wanting to get it over with, on the other. And, on those occasions when I feel a spanking was less severe, or shorter, than I really deserved, I'm relieved when she stops, but within minutes I feel disappointed that I didn't get the full measure I deserved.
DeleteI haven't ever complained or begged, though I have tried to put one off for a day. I don't think I'll ever go beyond that, but I do sometimes think I'm too stoic during the spanking and that it might add something to the dynamic if I were more verbal, telling her how much it hurts, begging her to stop, etc. But, there would need to be a talk with her in advance in which I explained that I want to be more verbal like that but that she absolutely will not give in to anything I say and will spank me as long and hard as she thinks appropriate.
Authenticity is the most important part of making our D/D relationship provide the benefits we are striving for. No judgment of anything anyone else does, but the maternal/adolescent dynamic feels a little like age or role play for me. I'm an adult who needs help with some personal behaviors that I can't overcome on my own. I asked my wife for help and she agreed. Because she wants to help me she has been very good at her task from the beginning. But I don't see this as much different than if I had a gambling problem, and gave my wife the authority to make sure I get to gamblers anonymous every week, and whenever she feels I need it. I can withdraw my consent at any time, but if I truly want to get better I continue to cede authority to her. The leadership she provides takes a lot of effort, so we also give her the 'any time, any place, any reason' rule to make her life better. I've learned there are many things I do that annoy her that I had no idea about. It has been working well. And verbal authority is powerful to make sure I understand why I need this treatment, it's just done as a wife chastising her husband. - Will
ReplyDelete"No judgment of anything anyone else does, but the maternal/adolescent dynamic feels a little like age or role play for me."
DeleteI get it. I'm pretty comfortable saying that, for us, it doesn't cross over the line into age play, but I also can't define precisely where that line is. For example, you said, "And verbal authority is powerful to make sure I understand why I need this treatment, it's just done as a wife chastising her husband." That's where, for me, the line gets a little squishy. My wife exercising verbal authority is a wife chastising her full-grown husband, but strong verbal direction and correction do have an undeniable maternal vibe for me.
I, like Dan, wasn't chastised as a child/teen at home much and like Dan their is an element in my that sees any chastisement from a female as maternal in nature. Where perhaps I differ is my imagination has allowed me to speculate as to what a couple of "sliding door" moments might have led to in changing my growing up.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of Mrs GL she has shown no inclination to surrogate on me, any application of her hand/implement to my bottom is done in a "getting on with it" manner. I know if she regularly told me off whilst over her knees it would be well recieved and appreciated but she prefers the verbal side to be whilst living our lives and very much in the irritated wife mode.
Finally, and perhaps more controversial, my imagination tries to think what a society where its a given cultural norm that men are just little boys in big bodies and grown men regularly getting sore bottoms would be like? I conclude that whilst it wouldn't necessarily be much more equal or fairer than how it presently is it would I sense see a massive dilution of some of the issues 4000 years of Paternity hasn't cured. I suspect I'm in a small minority with that. Cheers GLM.
I don't really know how small that minority is. I do think that many of the female leaders I worked with could be every bit as petty and competitive as the male leaders. So, I don't know that the world would really be that different if ruled by women. But, what you were positing was more a culture in which the norm is F/m DD, and I honestly do think that could be a substantially better world for both men and women. When you look at stats on alcohol abuse, drug abuse, accidental deaths, violent crimes, etc., I think it's impossible to deny that men are just much bigger fuck-ups than women. For me, the natural conclusion is that men, as a whole, would benefit from far more women swinging the paddle, and I think that has to have positive benefits for society as a whole.
DeleteDan and I have discussed the concept before about most women being more mature and possibly better leaders, and it seems like we are revisiting again. Women tend to decide issues more by consensus and men tend gravatate towards hierarchy. This holds true with the institutions they are involved with. Men run prisons, the military, and such. Women are more involved with the helping professions like teaching and counseling. They also do more of the caretaking. It follows that they would be less likely to start a war.
ReplyDeleteHaving read all the comments, I agree that spanking involves somewhat the maternal/adolescent vibe in spankings. this might be the reason Cindy was reluctant to start spanking me, as any association with spanking was always parent/child. We have evolved where she is a confidant spanker, but would never want anyone to know about our activites. This has also made her a more confidant lover and sexual partner! Approaching 80, we still have fantastic orgasms, and I am spanked reasonalby regularly. However, if I express fatigue, the spanking is postponed.
ReplyDeletebottoms up
Red
loved the tumblr you linked to : spanked2realtears and listening to all three I noted how they made the woman look so much younger by episode 3, Spanking and feeling in control helps everyone (the spanker and the spankee)
ReplyDeleteRed
I'm glad you liked them. I hadn't noticed that about the artwork. I assume the audio is AI generated, but I don't really know.
DeleteThe one part I'm not sure how I feel about is in part 3, when he's confronted by the daughter. I've never been as concerned as my wife is about others knowing, and had our kids learned about our DD, it would not have been the end of the world. But, there's a difference between knowing about it and trying to take advantage of that knowledge or trying to jump over the adults in the hierarchy. I've always seen the preferred model as almost military, in that the general (the wife) outranks the subordinate officers (the husband), but those subordinate officers substantially outrank the enlisted men/women (the kids). To me, the series would have ended on a better note had Shannon overheard the daughter's statements and given her a spanking for it.
Hi Red. We are in the same place with the approaching 80 and still both having great
ReplyDeleteorgasms. Her being kinky enough to embrace F/M spanking and DD is part of what makes her a great lover for me. Unlike you folks, we would like to be able to talk with other couples that are into F/M DD, especially those our age. She has mentioned to 3 or 4 of her lady friends that she spanks me, but none of them seemed to show much interest.
I think it's really cool that she has mentioned it to a few friends. That is major progress. Who knows, maybe someday one of them will show interest. Meanwhile, it appears that it hasn't cause any damage to those relationships...has it? Graham
ReplyDeleteGraham, yes it is major progress, and there has not been any damage to those relationships. It's pretty much like this information was here was never shared. It isn't clear to me why none of the women she told seemed to have any reaction to it at all.
DeleteHi all. Even though there were some positive developments in our efforts to get DD started again, I'm kind of lacking in the necessary enthusiasm to write about them this weekend. Plus, I had a project at home today that kind of went awry. I may do a short Halloween post during the week, but probably nothing very substantive. I decided to let people know via this comment, instead of my usual No Post This Week notice.
ReplyDeleteDan, this seems like a good choice to me, as the No Post This Week notice may discourage further commentary. It is understandable that there may not be anything new to post about, as there are a limited number of issues concerning DD and F/M spanking. However, I always find value in learning and sharing what is going on in our lives currently r.e. DD, even though the topic has probably been covered before. For me, there have been several DD issues this week. We went to a party this weekend where I overdid it a bit, and she inquired about how much I had to drink. She hasn't done that for a long time, causing to us discussing preventative spankings, which I told her would probably be a good idea. Another issue is that I requested that the spankings be longer, as many of the "reminder spankings" have only been about 3 minutes. She took this advice to heart, and since then has lengthened them to at least 4 or 5 minutes, which are more effective, and I can still feel the next day.
ReplyDelete