Sorry all, but it's been kind of an exhausting week, thanks to a bunch of plumbing/heating problems caused by our sub-zero temperatures.
I'm limping into the weekend, with zero interest in putting energy into a post.
I'm also suffering from a serious lack of inspiration. So, if you have ideas for future topics, please pass them along.
Have a great weekend and upcoming week.
Yes, Dan, I suggested a topic about three months ago that you seemed to think was relatively new, and might spur an interesting conversion:
ReplyDelete"How far outside your personal relationship with your wife does she extend her authority? I particular, what types of interactions with other people, third parties (not part of your immediate family) does your wife apply her "rules" and "expectation" for good behavior for? Verbal interactions with such outside people? Business interactions? Religious and moral affairs? Does your wife have some sort of broad standard, like "Never to unfair advantage of others," that she enforces for ALL of your behavior?
Something to consider for future use when you're "stuck" for ideas.
Any other members have any "variations on this theme?"
I can do something along those lines.
DeleteHeating/plumbing problems during a freeze. That's no fun. i hope it is all fixed now? As an idea, and taking inspiration from the image, how about breast canings/beatings (for men).
ReplyDeletep
x
A couple of suggestions Dan .
ReplyDelete1.Would you and your wife be open to make a video or audio recording of your spankings?
Would you watch / listen to it with her and whst might you learn?
2. Does your wife dress specially for your spanking with heels stockings , leggings, etc. If not,would you like her to ?
These both are promising topics.
DeleteAlan
Alan, I agree. We have done videos of spankings, and I find them very erotic. Also, either sharing a video or showing a spanking on face time ( in real time) with another DD couple is another idea. A.J. and I have talked about doing that, but she isn't sure about it.
DeleteYes, I can do those.
DeleteGlenmore wrote: "DISCUSSION TOPIC: Does your wife dress specially for your spanking with heels stockings , leggings, etc. If not,would you like her to ?"
DeleteYes, I'll vote for that topic.
Back when the DWC was active, Aunt Kay invited the club members to send in videos of wives spanking their husbands for a possible compilation. Obviously public exposure was a big issue - and nothing ever came of the video idea. However, for a while, there were some pics on the DWC site of real life DWC couples in action (we did not participate).
DeleteWhen the video idea was suggested, Susan and I actually did one with the camera position carefully positioned not to show my wife's face and I was otk wearing a ski mask. Kay thought it was a fun idea - as if Susan was spanking a burglar in lieu of calling the police. Ultimately, we decided not to submit it out of "an abundance of caution over possible exposure". But - we did have "fun' doing it (in spite of the real pain from the real spanking) and we watched it a few times before finally erasing it (again, didn't want anyone - especially the kids - inadvertently coming across the recording). --al
al,
DeleteMy wife has raised the issue of producing a video ( or an audio) of a particularly severe spanking or series of spankings --and then make me watch or listen to them as a warning when she wanted to let me know I was "getting close" but for various reasons she did not want to spank me . Did you ever think of or experiment with such?, It does seem like a worthwhile idea but we have never gone beyond making some very bad videos and then destroying them
Alan
Dan, your last post was very compelling, and included two enthuistic disciplinary wives who both talked about how much they enjoy disciplining their husbands. There was also a mention of "A Husband's Essay", which is about occassionally giving disciplinary level spankings even when the husband had done nothing wrong to earn one. This has also been referred to as a "therapeutic" spanking, which has been discussed on the blog before. One idea for a post is to see if any of us have tried it and/or how would we feel about it if the wife suggested it?
ReplyDeleteI'll have to think about that one. I know you love that story but, honestly, it's one of my least favorite pieces of DWC content. But, given that I'm not coming up with much of anything else right now . . .
DeleteI also had an appreciation for "A Husband's Essay". I always equated the "therapeutic spankings" as being basically synonymous with the "maintenance" spankings.
DeleteHowever, the idea of the wife spanking the husband (who has not "earned" a spanking) simply because she feels the need to spank - to relieve stress or frustration perhaps - is an interesting concept that we have not discussed as much as other topics. --al
Al, that part of it is the source of my resistance to it as a topic, as it's hard for me to approach a topic knowing that any honest post encompassing my own feelings is going to be negative. But, the blog isn't all about my personal interest. The idea of a hard spanking just because she feels like it is a hard "no" for me, at least as anything but a one-time experiment. To me, it's kind of the antithesis of anything genuinely disciplinary. But, maybe that's worth exploring (once).
DeleteDan, didn’t know you felt that way about it. Admittedly, it is a pretty extreme concept, and if I was spanked as hard as you, I probably wouldn’t be interested in it either. After all, if it doesn’t grab you, why do it? After all, there are other good ideas from Donn and Glenmore. There will probably be other suggestions soon. Because you usually go into great detail when introducing a topic, it might as well be something that you can relate to.
ReplyDeleteOther physical punishments besides spanking?
ReplyDeleteL.
L, you asked about other physical punishments. I have had my face slapped a few times, not very hard, but enough to signal that I had offended her and that a serious spanking was about to take place. And when I have involuntarily moved my hand to shield my backside while over her knee, she has threatened to use her tawse on my hands. But it has never happened. How about you? Did you ever use other punishments?
DeleteTom,
DeleteI did indeed! Not sure how much Dan wants me to say at this point though.
L.
Oh my. Now I'm really curious. But I doubt you did anything awful. To me, corner time is a physical punishment, though one my wife does not use.
DeleteTom,
DeleteI'll refrain for now, unless Dan says something.
L.
In my (foggy) recollection from reading "J's" and "L's" various blogs (years ago), some punishments (yes, "REAL punishments" for behavior modification) involved some techniques more commonly associated with BDSM activities. I'm sure some of these "real" punishments would not fit into Aunt Kay's definition of "Good Old-Fashioned Disciplinary" method.
DeleteDan has had some weekly discussions here where some such techniques were actual subjects, and other discussions here veered into areas that Dan thought quite inappropriate here (Donn = "guilty"), even those were also "REAL punishments" for behavior modification.
That itself might be a possibly future subject, if we could agree on certain limits:
"What (typically BDSM) techniques of "REAL punishments" for behavior modification, should, and should not, be acceptable here in the public forum? What should be the general criteria? When should there be exceptions?"
Oops! Apparently I said a bad word (or acronym) in my last post, and Google's Spam Monster ate it!
DeleteDonn,
DeleteMaybe you can code it so that it gets past the system?
L.
To much effort.
DeleteDan will (hopefully) pull it out of the Spam Folder on his Blog Console.
The magic code is ANTITRUST -to google its the ultimate bad word
DeleteI thought slapping would be common practice for a disciplinary wife, but I have mentioned it before and there did not seem many guys had experienced it.
DeleteAlan
I would think it would be a common practice when a man is slow to obey a pre-spanking order, or is less than cooperative as she prepares him. Or when she is angry but circumstances don't permit an immediate spanking.
DeleteAlan and Tom,
DeleteNot one I personally used, but definitely agreed that it is a legitimate method besides spanking! What other methods do people here have and receive?
L.
L, I''m curious why you used many methods of punishment but never used slapping.
DeleteIt seems to me to be so spontaneous and easy to execute that almost any disciplinary wife would occasionally use it. My own wife, who is quite level-headed and moderate, does not hesitate to slap.
Tom wrote: " when a man is slow to obey a pre-spanking order, or is less than cooperative as she prepares him."
DeleteThat is exactly when I have been slapped. Used like that it had a powerful almost electric effect, changed the mood instantly and made me want to be obedient and cooperative. I assume the effect on me is not that common, but it was almost overwhelming in its shock and immediacy. She doesn't use it very often and I never know when its coming, That alone probably guarantees I am cooperating when its time
Alan
Alan
Using corner time "intermissions" during a long spanking. That can definitely play with my head -and has been one way she has produced tears.
DeleteALAN
Tom, slapping has the merits you mentioned, but we had ones we favoured even more!
DeleteAlan, glad to hear she uses an effective method! Wives fully into the swing of things won't hesitate to use effective methods!
L.
L, I forgot to mention the other "virtue" of slapping. You have to look her in the eyes while she delivers one or more slaps. Something you certainly can't do while over her knee.
DeleteALAN, my wife does not use corner time, but may have me stand up to get scolded and asked questions as she faces me. And I'm wondering whether the spanking is over or whether I'll go over her lap again.
DeleteTon,
DeleteThat isn't the only method with that benefit!
L.
L, Ton was a typo. Are you not free to mention some of those other methods?
DeleteTom,
DeleteDepends on Dan!
L.
Have you asked him? He may not be aware of what you have in mind.
DeleteTom,
DeleteNot yet.
L.
Dan wrote the following in the previous topic
ReplyDelete“One issue I'm finding is it seems to attract a lot more traffic from the Master-slave, Femdom crowd. I've had to delete several comments a day.”
There may be a future blog topic in the apparent confusion with F/M DD spanking and master/slave-femdom -BDSM It would be interesting for folks practicing or interested in spanking within a domestic discipline framework to discuss and explain the key differences felt between DD and BDSM. Many consider DD spanking to be another branch of the BDSM umbrella that comprises DD. I don’t. Dan doesn’t, and I think many others feel similar. Yet nowhere I know has anyone articulated clear differences. Spanking, for example, is common in BDSM; indeed, often, it seems central to BDSM. But to me, DD spanking has little in common with BDSM as it is commonly described. The comments Dan mentions above from Femdom interests illustrate the practical nature of the issue. Many in the BDSM community see no difference between what we practice and what they do. Can we move the needle a little?
Alan
I could possibly combine this with Norton's suggestion about "A Husband's Essay" and the notion of a wife spanking just because she wants to and/or for something like stress relief. Not to go too far down the road of addressing an actual topic, but if a couple's spanking regimen is basically rooted in the fact that he likes being spanked and she gets turned on by giving spankings, so they do it on a daily basis --how is that not just plain old S&M?
DeleteThis is an interesting direction - a post/discussion about the differences between true DD (DWC-style, for example) and BDSM - and perhaps the overlap as well. We have had discussions before about the use of other disciplinary techniques that are more usually associated with Femdom (pegging, chastity devices, feminization, etc). And - Kay herself wrote on the DWC site (in the FAQ section) that in her view it was ok to "have fun" with spanking as well. Certainly there are many dynamics in play here.
DeleteWe all know that even in a true DWC-style marriage, that there are sexual undertones at play (sort of a "pscho-sexual" dynamic) and at least some of our wives (mine included) to enjoy spanking our behinds - just for the joy of spanking (and perhaps a certain amount of mental sexual stimulation). The motivation behind our "activity" (spanking, etc) is obviously paramount - whether it be for true discipline or a sexual fetish/kink. Just a few thoughts... -al
" if a couple's spanking regimen is basically rooted in the fact that he likes being spanked and she gets turned on by giving spankings, so they do it on a daily basis --how is that not just plain old S&M? "
DeleteIf this is all there is too it, then it seems to fall squarely into the BDSM category. But if an authentic ( not play) discipline element was added, and a ( real) power exchange took place, then it veers over into the DD category.
But the question I raise is not -what are the degrees of difference--but is not the difference one of a kind? As many have noted re DD, it must be real and ( con sensually ) non consensual to work. Safe words for example apparently are used hardly at all in real DD. But, they are the sine qua non in BDSM. I will stop there in the event we tackle it.
Alan
Alan
I will plan on tackling it next week. It hasn't been that long (last May) since we did a topic on DD vs. BDSM, though that one was a little more focused on which BDSM elements, if any, people were bringing into their DD relationships.
DeleteGood idea. BDSM is quite widely know and talked about, but relatively few people have any concept of what DD is. Why that is could be part of the discussion. I have my own theory about it, but I’ll wait until Dan introduces the topic.
DeleteI think that a topic on Fiction would be good - I read a lot and I like good quality, F/M DD stories of which there are some on the Web but not enough (that I can find and I would welcome some help). The DWC site has a section of fictional accounts and I wonder if it might be good/possible to try to create and curate a small collection of some of the best that resonate with this group? I have written a few over the years which I'm happy to share. Clearly this would create some additional work for Dan who may not wish to undertake such a task ... TB
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't necessarily mind putting together a small repository of something like that. Though, there would be some copyright issues involved in compiling anything from outside the group. I feel like with the DWC stuff, I have clear permission from Aunt Kay's husband, but other third-party stuff I probably wouldn't compile and curate without permission. Though, it would be nice to have some small collection available. The Library of Spanking Fiction has a huge collection of spanking stories, but the search and filtering functions are very poor and make it virtually impossible to search for a particular genre, like DD or even F/m.
DeleteYes, copyright and licensing issues for stories appearing on others' websites can get very complicated.
DeleteHowever, I don't see much problem "linking" to any such websites story index pages, if not the stories themselves (depending upon site's "Terms of Use" in terms of how deeply you can link). (Of course, it would be polite for anyone forming such links to notify the website's administrator and offer them the opportunity to object or make conditions.)
Along these lines, many members here may be familiar with J.Q. Graves's website of DD/WLM and light-Femdom stories. Sadly, Mr. Graves' wife passed away in Summer 2024; shortly thereafter he decided to cease publication of all books and short stories; his website is currently empty, and all books have been removed from Amazon, Lulu, etc.
While the books appear to be gone forever, most of his short-stories were crawled and saved by the Internet Archive, where those stories still exist. His index of stories changed from year to year, with some older stories disappearing, and new ones being added. Below, find a link to multiple years of those index pages, and the LAST index page, (indexes containing story links) on the Internet Archive:
web.archive.org/web/*/jqgraves.com/spanking-stories/
web.archive.org/web/202412/jqgraves.com/spanking-stories/
I recently reveiwed most of his stories, and classified them be the same criteria that Aunt Kay apparently used for including Real People and Fictional account in the DWC website. These particular stories closely match the original DWC selection criteria:
A Birthday Request (1)
A Little Direction and Discipline
A Teaching Moment
A Trip to the Laundry Room
An Active Retirement
Are You Listening (borderline-consentual)
Bad Habits
Balance
Father's Day Thrashing
Inspiration
Lexan Motivation
New Home, New Arrangement
Procrastination
Reminder Spanking
Secure Folders
She Runs This Household
- - - - - - (a sequel to DWC Ralph's "Guess Who Runs This Household?")
Spanko
St. Paul to the Ephesians
I shared the ‘Fantasy & Reality’ story (?) with my wife recently. She said that it gave her a real insight into how my mind worked and why spanking was so important to me. That incident highlighted to me how spanking fiction can be useful not just for entertainment but also as a very useful information & communication source… TB
DeleteHi TB:
DeleteI'm nor sure which story you are referring to, but if it "enlightened" you wife it should definitely be noted and even highlighted.
J.Q. Graves has a story called "Spanking Fantasy Revealed" on his (archive.org) website. Is that the "fiction" that you were describing.
If not, was it in the DWC's Real People of Fiction section? Maybe on some other website?
I would certainly like to learn more. Can you post a direct link?
-- Thanks
The story is on this site under ‘User Stories’ - it is the very first one… http://disciplinedhubbies-stories.blogspot.com/2016/04/fantasy-reality.html?m=1 …TB
DeleteYes, that is excellent.
DeleteReading it, originally, and no again, I've always kind of thought that it was written by Dan himself. His own internal reflections and philosophizing on why he feels so strongly about real discipline. (I may think that because much of what is written in the first 1/4 of that account so closely matches what Dan has personally said at various times introducing various weeks' subject here on the actual blog.)
Maybe Dan can clarify if her personally wrote that real-person account?
TB:
DeleteDon't know why your initials appeared as author of last post. I though I used my one moniker and began my response with your initials. Obviously, toooo late at night.
So, goodnight.
I think that is from one of ZM's comments.
Delete