tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post853222803975433159..comments2024-03-28T11:43:32.966-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Forum - Vol. 234 - Manliness, Tears, and TrollsDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-55188232314810304162019-08-05T21:47:39.174-07:002019-08-05T21:47:39.174-07:00I wish I could cry from a spanking!! Really crying...I wish I could cry from a spanking!! Really crying hard while I'm being scolded during the spanking. That's how I was spanked growing up by my mom with that result.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-44141904448124768332018-01-13T09:29:42.475-08:002018-01-13T09:29:42.475-08:00Hi Chelle. Thanks for joining in. I agree, Anna&...Hi Chelle. Thanks for joining in. I agree, Anna's words are usually pretty wise!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-7767645571065512202018-01-13T08:43:38.039-08:002018-01-13T08:43:38.039-08:00Hi and want to say I love your blog! I can't a...Hi and want to say I love your blog! I can't agree with the reply from Anna more. I think we want our men to be the men we fell in love with, strong, decisive etc. but I've also found that at times some of them just need a damn good spanking! Sometimes words alone don't work with you guys. I am very sweet and loving with my husband but now when I need to I "Wife-Up" and make him bend across my lap.<br />It was difficult at first but I took to it quickly. I think because I loved having his little tush under my control, I was getting out pent up frustrations and felt like I had some re-course for situations that hadn't changed as needed. I also love the results I've seen and we're sticking with this!<br />Case in point, my man is currently taking down the artificial Christmas tree and all decorations as I write this. I've been asking nicely and offering to do it together. He has time off and has promised to do it daily. (Daily with out follow through!)<br />This morning I simply took him by the earlobe into the family room with paddle in hand. Without uttering a word or answering his questions, he knew what was about to happen but not why, over my knee he went. I took down his lounge pants and proceeded to paddle my husband's bare rear end until it was bright red and sitting would not be comfortable. I then sweetly asked if he thought he could take down all the Christmas décor today? He quickly answered yes but I assured him he didn't need to do it today but he'd be getting paddled EVERYDAY until it was completed! He really wanted to do it today, lol. I let him know that would really make me happy but I can't assist him because I had other things on my list now. I then (to his surprise) paddled him again soundly as he yelped and begged loudly for me to stop. I purposely am wearing my thich leather belt because I told him I may tan his hide later if I like it.<br />So the chore is finally getting done but not before I had to administer a very sound paddling to my naughty, procrastinating boy. Love it! Chelle.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-74359272652356142642018-01-11T14:42:17.243-08:002018-01-11T14:42:17.243-08:00Since J. feels I have now recovered from the &quo...Since J. feels I have now recovered from the "12 days of Xmas" sequence she (and her sister) administered from Dec. 25 through Jan. 6, I was treated (for a reason) to a brisk 50-swats paddling with her hairbrush earlier tonight - and, as she returns to the usual MO, I know what I can expect in the not-too-distant future!...<br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-42785662726053763542018-01-10T05:52:24.785-08:002018-01-10T05:52:24.785-08:00Georgiaguy's comment stuck with me overnight. ...Georgiaguy's comment stuck with me overnight. Nice job or describing the different roles many of us experience in DWC relationships. It also got me thinking about how much time and energy we spend analyzing why we live this way. Which is really fine for those who love to do that.<br /><br />For me, it's more like appreciating an amazing sunset, or the ocean, or a giant redwood tree. Nature is amazing and perfect. And for me, living the disciplinary lifestyle is a beautiful thing. It's in my nature and I am part of nature overall. So it's perfect as is.<br /><br />Pardon my "syrup". We recently had a rekindling and it "warmed and sweetened hearth and heart".Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-66201848695734955622018-01-09T01:00:00.629-08:002018-01-09T01:00:00.629-08:00A very good comment, GeorgiaFella. I am not in a D...A very good comment, GeorgiaFella. I am not in a DD relationship myself, my partner spanks me mostly as fun and foreplay. Sometimes however, when I misbehave, she gives me a few firm swats on my bottom as a warning. The swats are frequently accompanied by a remark like "Don't do that, boy!", whereby she emphasizes the word "boy". As you say: "The use of the word "boy" verbally reestablishes our understanding of how important my wife's womanly, wifely, and maternal powers are to both of us."<br />Best wishes for the coming year, richard.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-4398076680003972502018-01-08T12:39:48.132-08:002018-01-08T12:39:48.132-08:00Hi GF. "So, by being reduced to a boy, I am ...Hi GF. "So, by being reduced to a boy, I am restored as a man." I really like that.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-74450857563238713352018-01-08T12:38:18.768-08:002018-01-08T12:38:18.768-08:00"Control" is definitely my biggest chall..."Control" is definitely my biggest challenge. I once did not consider myself to be a control freak, though I now acknowledge that I kind of am. Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-77669623989661811022018-01-08T11:41:00.959-08:002018-01-08T11:41:00.959-08:00It was! I would highly recommend it to anyoneIt was! I would highly recommend it to anyoneMerry Contraryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13605968415958113942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-59851350437934931472018-01-08T11:34:47.524-08:002018-01-08T11:34:47.524-08:00Dan:
There's no question in my wife's...Dan:<br /> There's no question in my wife's mind about my manliness, and she normally likes for me to be just a regular guy and marital leader. As for being a "bad boy," I'm really not a hell-raiser. However, I do sometimes forget to carry out one or more of my wife's instructions (failure to do a chore, run a errand), or I may become a bit inattentive to her emotional or sexual needs. To bring resolution, we know that she needs to help me become a "good boy" again. The use of the word "boy" verbally reestablishes our understanding of how important my wife's womanly, wifely, and maternal powers are to both of us. During punishment spankings for being neglectful, or through preemptive spankings designed to help keep me "good," I never cry (and, yes, the spankings hurt plenty!). But my voice does revert to the remorseful, submissive tone of a little boy as I repeatedly and sincerely AGREE with her criticisms by timidly voicing a long series of "Yes, Ma'ams," and "No, Ma'ams." So, by being reduced to a boy, I am restored as a man. And my wife's "tool of restoration" just happens to be a very reliable pine paddle featuring at least two dozen airflow holes!). There's something very powerful about motherly care. My little boy feelings and responses come very naturally and immediately as she escorts me by my ear to the bedroom. It took a long time for her to embrace her role as a spanking wife, but when she finally got that she can inflict pain within the context of motherly love, it all clicked for her. It's ironic, though, how during our maternal punishment sessions, she's "discussing" with me our full-grown MARITAL issues. Man, what a mash-up!GeorgiaFellanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-88601675882112720262018-01-08T11:05:02.824-08:002018-01-08T11:05:02.824-08:00LOL....I was following you. You don't give you...LOL....I was following you. You don't give yourself enough credit! I think it shows outstanding self awareness to recognize at this stage, you want and need to let yourself go a bit..focus on a different aspect of "you", let the bad boy in you (which often translates into the proverbial little boy in all of us) be free to come out.....while at the same time in order for that to happen in a healthy way, you will need the help of your wife's oversight of it.<br /><br />As your wife increasingly steps up and does what needs to be done establishing and then maintaining the boundaries you'll need as you "let go " a bit....you're going to at times be made to feel very uncomfortable mentally (lol...and yeah no doubt physically as well). You are going to be sacraficing new and different elements and degrees of control, you have yet to have to give up and acquiesce to her. Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02308416826203465913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-29457868256022498162018-01-08T10:15:09.012-08:002018-01-08T10:15:09.012-08:00Meant to say, I don't "link" it to i...Meant to say, I don't "link" it to increasing self-awareness . . .Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-85208246352698693622018-01-08T08:47:32.575-08:002018-01-08T08:47:32.575-08:00Hi Darren. While I don't like it to increasin...Hi Darren. While I don't like it to increasing self-awareness, I do get the feeling 2018 may prove to be a big year. I think a good one, but more as you say "important" or "consequential." <br /><br />The connection you draw between physical goals and DD/FLR training is apt. It's all well and good to have a goal. The point that usually trips you up, however, is either not being aware of the sacrifice involved or not being sufficiently committed to the goal to make that sacrifice when it becomes uncomfortable. Particularly when it involves denying yourself some short-term pleasure. Working out is not hard for me, and it's part of my routine. I don't consider doing it any form of self-denial. Keeping to a healthier diet, on the other hand, is much harder because the temptation is staring me in the face and I have to make a good choice in that moment when I really, really want to do something else.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-32977255792535909922018-01-08T08:42:04.242-08:002018-01-08T08:42:04.242-08:00Hi Glen. Our trajectory was similar in that our D...Hi Glen. Our trajectory was similar in that our DD relationship started after the kids came along. Not immediately after, but when they were pretty young. Though, in our case I do think the timing was largely coincidental, as I hadn't been aware of anything like DD until shortly before I introduced her to the concept after I read about it on-line. Now that the kids are much older and not around as much, the dynamic is changing. And, it could be the case that my bad boy nostalgia is, in fact, a reflection of the fact the kids aren't around as much and we are more financially secure, therefore, the phase of having to be a responsible role model is all the time is starting to be in the rearview mirror. Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-90883420208286332602018-01-08T07:40:06.986-08:002018-01-08T07:40:06.986-08:00Dan-
Love hearing going into the New Year you...Dan-<br /><br />Love hearing going into the New Year you've been reflective on yourself from a more personal level. As we all know, getting to that point of introspection actually seeing and understanding (best we can) our own mindeset and corresponding needs is 90% of the battle. Given how both you and wife seem to be approaching the new level of self awareness, I think it's safe to say you're going to have an EXTREMELY important and to an extent life changing year!!! There will likely be aspects of yourself, your wife and your relationship that will look very different this time next year. You sharing it with us is so generous!!! As you're aware no dynamic change occurs without it's trial and tribulations! This is evidenced by "The Warning" in the intro of The Hesitant Mistress you shared. (I've read excerpts it's incredible!). Down deep we know what we want....and cognitavely we can understand what achieving those things will take. However you don't appreciate how it actually FEELS in reality until you experience it. To borrow one of the phrases in that preamble to make a weak analogy.... "she will learn how to train you". Like your fitness goals, you know what the training will need to be to attain your physical goals (diet, running, weights).....but you don't truly understand how difficult and challenging it is physically and MENTALLY until you're living it. No doubt the same will be true for you with the new degrees of FLR life you desire. You will both get where you both want to be with it.....but aspects of getting there will no doubt be more of a challenge than it "looked on paper". I'm going to enjoy following how things play out and evolve for you, I'll be fascinated to be following your journey!!!!!Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02308416826203465913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-73521912792596403502018-01-08T05:46:24.665-08:002018-01-08T05:46:24.665-08:00Hi Dan
I believe the bad boy -nice girl dynamic wa...Hi Dan<br />I believe the bad boy -nice girl dynamic was very common at the start of a relationship.<br />For us that dynamic tilted dramatically once we be came parents.We had to tone down the bad boy side and she became more in charge with that matriarch role and her maternal instinct naturally flowed to me also in some respects.<br />Interestingly it was around this time I began exploring FM discipline for the first time.<br />Once I was able to raise it she took to it enthusiastically to my surprise.<br />After the kids left home our roles settled into an entirely different dynamic but she still maintains that natural matriarch role.Glenmorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10011257092494429520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-33390575815283959192018-01-07T18:39:19.726-08:002018-01-07T18:39:19.726-08:00Hi Merry. Hope the non-conference was good.Hi Merry. Hope the non-conference was good.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-9913830619785913612018-01-07T18:12:14.267-08:002018-01-07T18:12:14.267-08:00It seems to me that tears have both alluded and el...It seems to me that tears have both alluded and eluded you. I have been away all weekend with Shilo at a non-conference and much of the discussions surrounded relationship dynamics in one way or another.<br /><br />Just wanted to say hello. Merry Contraryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13605968415958113942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-77754270104661535522018-01-07T15:19:26.864-08:002018-01-07T15:19:26.864-08:00Hi Anna. I hope you and Peter had a great holiday....Hi Anna. I hope you and Peter had a great holiday. It's interesting that you comment "I want the man that I was drawn to in the beginning," because something along those lines got me thinking about this "topic" to the extent one is buried in there, i.e. the potential disparity between what my wife was attracted to when we met and the extent to which a "submissive" man could be in conflict with that. But, here was my thought process on why DD may work for us.<br /><br />Women like bad boys. They do. Yeah, yeah, I know that not every woman does, but a hell of a lot of them do. When my wife and I met, I was working as a bouncer on top of my day job (which was the kind of unimpressive job that you get as a liberal arts major in a bad economy), lived in my jeans and a leather jacket, drove a "manly" vehicle, and when I wasn't working in the bars I was there playing pool or hanging out with friends. I sort of exuded "bad boy." Yet, here we are years down the line, and her "bad boy" takes spankings from her when he strays outside the lines she sets. What occurred to be over the holidays as I was feeling a little nostalgic for that former bad boy fun, is that DD may work for many couples precisely because he is always going to have a little bit of that bad boy in him, and she kind of wants him to have it, but she also wants to have the ability to both rein him in and get a little "payback" when his bad boy behavior becomes a little too much. <br /><br />Do you have any thoughts on that? Would love to hear them.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-75010558134845123242018-01-07T13:11:01.774-08:002018-01-07T13:11:01.774-08:00Thanks, Tomy. Hope you had a good holiday.Thanks, Tomy. Hope you had a good holiday.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-76821066296320292862018-01-07T11:06:18.080-08:002018-01-07T11:06:18.080-08:00Dan
Funny but your regular contributors are echoi...Dan<br /><br />Funny but your regular contributors are echoing what Peter and I have been working toward. "REINING IN".<br />That is what we are basing our situation on. Peter, like you I sense, is often all over the place. I dont want<br />some puppy that does what I want. I want the man that I was drawn to in the beginning. I want our boys, now on the beginning of manhood, to grow understanding boundaries at times will make life easier.<br />At the same time I needed to stand up and demand that we have a partnership. <br />In our house we have a rule all cell phones are to be turned off at dinner. If we hear even the ding it means that cellphone will be taken away for a week. For Peter perhaps there is additional punishment.!<br />Since I have taken more control I am a better wife and mother. More important I have a sense again of a partner.<br />Happy New Year to you and your family. I think today's topic seems to be one of the best you have had.<br /><br />AnnaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-21331225160118791282018-01-07T06:57:01.944-08:002018-01-07T06:57:01.944-08:00For me the writer hit the nail on the head. When t...For me the writer hit the nail on the head. When there is genuine guilt and I feel that in some way I have caused her to feel badly, the tears come. Well, that and also sometimes when the spanking seems to go on for so long that I get incredibly frustrated that she won't stop and that might do it too.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-73749417773149890082018-01-07T06:02:30.261-08:002018-01-07T06:02:30.261-08:00I've read this blog, I have not responded, but...I've read this blog, I have not responded, but you mentioned tears after a spanking for the first time. I'm spanked, my wife insures I learn my lessons and crying is when she knows I'm getting the point.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-23407753191078286062018-01-06T16:15:23.463-08:002018-01-06T16:15:23.463-08:00You and I seem to be in very similar places in our...You and I seem to be in very similar places in our aspirations for 2018 and where we found ourselves in 2017. I felt angry, astonished (in a negative way) or just plain overwhelmed through much of it. Where we are a little different is I tend to see myself as a manly guy who is often strangely in touch with my inner woman. :-)Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-69709296854319195262018-01-06T13:19:14.996-08:002018-01-06T13:19:14.996-08:00OK, seriously now, onto your topic. I have always ...OK, seriously now, onto your topic. I have always felt like a bit of a unmanly guy who does all these manly things in a way that confuse everyone. It is probably all part of the contradictory nature of me being me. As such, I have often had fun pretending to be more of the opposite of what any situation called for (i.e.bringing up Fine Art exhibits or a good recipe in a group of guys talking football, or talking guns to a group of artsy types.) It's just my way of having fun.<br /><br />As for what I'm leaning towards for 2018? Probably to just 'calm the fuck down' more. I seem to get so upset and angry about EVERYTHING that I am going to really try to just "let all the poisons that lurk in the mud, hatch out". (Points to anyone who knows where that tidbit came from, LOL) I know I am not going to change anything on this life journey, so I may as well enjoy the ride,Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com