tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post8362540104626189530..comments2024-03-28T21:45:05.911-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Club - Meeting 295 - Sex Since DDDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger103125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-19393870779463130482019-05-04T07:53:43.258-07:002019-05-04T07:53:43.258-07:00Alan: "a systematic way of being wrong"...Alan: "a systematic way of being wrong" - I like that.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-86793629958695291172019-05-04T06:21:04.578-07:002019-05-04T06:21:04.578-07:00KD, I just wanted to let you know that I Googled y...KD, I just wanted to let you know that I Googled you and, wow, I am really impressed! I love your cartoons and drawings! They are sexy and amusing at the same time, which is a great combination for me. Actually, I have seen some of those images before in my hubby's collection of femdom images, but I had no idea who you were.<br />DanielleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-28920955000767937162019-05-03T23:09:33.242-07:002019-05-03T23:09:33.242-07:00Answering your question to us wives directly and w...Answering your question to us wives directly and without beating about the bush, yes, I get turned on by spanking my husband and it leaves me very aroused by the time I am finished. When we first got married and started practicing the DD lifestyle, I couldn't help but find that a little weird. However, my husband and I have generally been quite open with each other, so a few months down the line, I mentioned it to him and he assured me that it was entirely normal.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-35219450275523276862019-05-03T14:50:32.590-07:002019-05-03T14:50:32.590-07:00Interesting.
DanielleInteresting.<br /><br />DanielleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-27176815915831324612019-05-03T13:31:33.437-07:002019-05-03T13:31:33.437-07:00Anonymous, just theological question just occurred...Anonymous, just theological question just occurred to me. Would my collection of dildos have the blessing of the Church since it does not include any "spilling of seed"? ;-)<br /><br />- For all sexual behavior and sexual games in marriage is probably good theology this:<br /><br />"John Paul’s original insights provide a whole new context for understanding the Church’s teaching on sexuality. This is, in fact, the linchpin of all sexual morality. Based on the logic of the theology of the body, one can speak of morality in the sexual relationship according to “whether or not it has the character of the truthful sign” (Aug 27, 1980). All sexual morality, then, comes down to this simple question: Does this behavior incarnate God’s love or does it not?"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Another theological question: Suppose a wife pegged her husband for purely disciplinary purposes, but the discipline resulted in the accidental spilling of seed, would that accidental spillage be permissible? <br /><br />- Unintended ejaculation involves no moral fault. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-30737430805606062282019-05-03T12:42:36.301-07:002019-05-03T12:42:36.301-07:00Danielle, haha, Yes... The Church does not give pr...Danielle, haha, Yes... The Church does not give precise instructions for sex and life. Orgasm denial is only our fun alternative for long foreplay and the same time how to be also softly comply with the Catholic theology. <br /><br />" It’s a bit like linking the fairly common desire of women to be spanked by their men to religious teachings..."<br /><br />I recommend for these women search old theology (of the 19th century and early 20th century) - is very "for male". But modern Catholic theology is "for female". <br /><br />The revolutionary Pope John Paul II teaches - Also husbands must obey their wives. And all texts in the Bible in favour of the “subjection” of woman to man in marriage must be understood in the sense of a “mutual subjection” of both. (John Paul II - Apostolic Letter Mulieris Dignitatem and other...)<br /><br />And today for modern theologians, the husband is as the obedient servant.<br /><br /><br />"a recipe for sexual violence."<br /><br />I can't agree, sorry. The rape (also in marriage) is a sin. Every man must learn self-control. This is the difference between man and animal. <br /><br />But do not worry. Today's church has a slightly more liberal attitude for masturbation: <br /><br />Catechism - YOUCAT (by Pope Benedict XVI):<br />409 (...) The Church does not demonize masturbation, but she warns against trivializing it. In fact many young people and adults are in danger of becoming isolated in their consumption of lewd pictures, films, and Internet services instead of finding love in a personal relationship. Loneliness can lead to a blind alley in which masturbation becomes an addiction. Living by the motto “For sex I do not need anyone; I will have it myself, however and whenever I need it” makes nobody happy.<br /><br />- The Church today does not demonize masturbation, only warns... <br /><br />(And many priests today say - masturbation is just a little sin. Or no sin if the person is not in married, or if he has permission from his wife...)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-86757782469943733442019-05-03T09:38:48.459-07:002019-05-03T09:38:48.459-07:00My views on religion are complex. I reject organiz...My views on religion are complex. I reject organized religion personally for its many hypocrisies and dysfunctional doctrines. But at the same time I support religion and religious freedom as a net positive force during the evolvement of civilization, morals and values. Historically it has been a net force for "good" while harming many people individually. But while I value religion, I am wary of its toxic influences, I am put off by hearing people tie themselves into religious pretzels trying to justify or explain DD practices from a religious perspective. I fully realize that some people are so intertwined with their religious precepts that they cannot separate them from DD. Theology used this way is really to succumb to ideological thinking -something one writer once called " a systematic way of being wrong" I will take several deep breaths now and move on but I really encourage looking at DD, its practices, impact on your relations, and strong emotions, separate from some ideology heralding " the way it should be" rather than the way it is<br />Alan <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-28151891296355573282019-05-03T08:57:33.723-07:002019-05-03T08:57:33.723-07:00Another theological question: Suppose a wife pegge...Another theological question: Suppose a wife pegged her husband for purely disciplinary purposes, but the discipline resulted in the accidental spilling of seed, would that accidental spillage be permissible? Asking for a friend.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-10524680402044343732019-05-03T08:35:42.385-07:002019-05-03T08:35:42.385-07:00Anonymous, an important theological question just ...Anonymous, an important theological question just occurred to me. Would my collection of dildos have the blessing of the Church since using them doesn't involve any "spilling of seed"? ;-)<br />DanielleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-14527307786452759052019-05-03T06:30:06.027-07:002019-05-03T06:30:06.027-07:00Danielle here:
>>>>It is simple. In d...Danielle here:<br /><br />>>>>It is simple. In days the course of foreplay (tease and denial) wife has orgasms, but not husband. The Catholic Theology accepts female orgasms for course of foreplay and and other situations. Only the husband must never ejaculate outside of his wife’s vagina<<<<<br /><br />I get what you are doing here, Anonymous, linking male chastity as a sexual kink to the Church’s sado-masochistic teachings about male sexuality. Clever. It’s a bit like linking the fairly common desire of women to be spanked by their men to religious teachings about gender roles in the whole “taken in hand” Christian DD movement. <br /><br />But while I see enforced male chastity as potentially a wonderful, erotic activity for husbands and wives, I think the Church’s teaching is dangerous for women because it is a recipe for sexual violence. Think about it. The Church drums it into the physically stronger sex that the only sexual release God approves for them EVER requires access to the physical body of a member of the physically weaker sex. What could possibly go wrong!?<br /><br />Let’s be clear, teaching boys that masturbation is a perfectly legitimate way to relieve sexual tension is important as a sort of safety valve that helps to prevent sexual violence inside and outside of marriage. Now, if husbands and wives agree to ramp up erotic tension by playing with that safety valve in a consensual way, that’s another matter.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-5445497263648215682019-05-03T06:12:19.847-07:002019-05-03T06:12:19.847-07:00Thanks, KD. I guess I should do some more scrollin...Thanks, KD. I guess I should do some more scrolling back. Is there a link to your blog here? I will have a look. I'm not sure whether male chastity is totally sidetracking in the sense that Elizabeth, Anna, and I all seem to agree that for us women it has a bearing on the topic of sex after DD.<br />DanielleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-65284763059683813002019-05-03T06:04:33.276-07:002019-05-03T06:04:33.276-07:00Oh, I'm sure your wife has many reasons to pad...Oh, I'm sure your wife has many reasons to paddle your bum, Dan! :-)<br />But it sounds like you are the rare kind of guy who doesn't get carried away with self pleasuring. <br />Danielle Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-7958853173116165082019-05-03T05:59:23.549-07:002019-05-03T05:59:23.549-07:00Hi Elizabeth,
It sounds like you have a great thi...Hi Elizabeth,<br /><br />It sounds like you have a great thing going with Frank! You are right: seeing your man aroused is arousing for a woman. I’m a bit jealous that your guy doesn’t have my guy’s problems with erectile dysfunction, but Wayne and I still have some sexy fun. He still gets visibly aroused, even if his erections are less than fully functional, and I can increase his arousal by teasing him about that. Fortunately, his tongue is perfectly functional and he is very enthusiastic in his role as keeper of my sex toys! ;-) <br /> <br />Yes, yes ,yes to making hubbies do housework with a red bum on display while you enjoy a glass of wine! It’s amazing how we spanking wives find our way to the same pleasures. <br /><br />Danielle Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-75145957023205252022019-05-03T05:42:41.613-07:002019-05-03T05:42:41.613-07:00Danielle: There is a lot of information available ...Danielle: There is a lot of information available on this and blogs devoted almost entirely to it. I myself have been doing some form of it for decades. If you don't want to sidetrack this blog, just know there are plenty of alternatives. I've even covered some aspects on my own blog. Just FYI.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-42777764791076681382019-05-03T05:40:18.880-07:002019-05-03T05:40:18.880-07:00Thanks for that thoughtful reply, Alan. It makes ...Thanks for that thoughtful reply, Alan. It makes a lot of sense.<br />DanielleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-30573430117288167912019-05-03T04:38:58.316-07:002019-05-03T04:38:58.316-07:00PS. I love watching him doing "women's wo...PS. I love watching him doing "women's work" while in a "manly way"!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-48215518952340878712019-05-03T04:30:13.332-07:002019-05-03T04:30:13.332-07:00This is Elizabeth. Our DD is on the honor system a...This is Elizabeth. Our DD is on the honor system and Frank is very committed to self-reporting, so we feel no need for chastity devices, reporting software, etc. Plus, if he were in a chastity device his erection would not be on display!<br /><br /> I have not mentioned that as one of the major changes in our sex life since DD. With him not madturbating, and with me being more aggressive sexually so he never knows when or what I might initiate, he is hard a great deal of the time - despite his advanced age! And it is really good for a woman's ego for a man to be hard for her so much.<br /><br />That ties into another question that has been asked on here recently about whether all spanking is punishment in our DD relationship. For us the answer is yes. I agree with Dan that it would be confusing and potentially lessen the effectiveness if I gave Frank erotic or play spankings. But other punishments have become playful. I mentioned previously that if I am paddling him for not doing a chore, I might make him do it immediately - naked and with his red bottom on display. He finds that immensely arousing, and I also began enjoying seeing his hard-on flop around the living room while he vacuumed and I relaxed with a glass of wine. The power exchange is as intoxicating as the alcohol.<br /><br />So ... over time I began "suggesting" that he take off his clothes to do chores on other days than Friday. And he loves it. We discovered the fetish CFNM (clothed female, naked male), and with no kids in the house we engage in it fairly regularly (maybe once a week). He never knows when I might get so turned on as to take full advantage of what is flopping around in front of me, or just play with it a bit, or have him service me without touching it, or if I will totally ignore him. It's a lot of fun!<br />Elizabeth Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-44623085777313824582019-05-03T03:59:50.070-07:002019-05-03T03:59:50.070-07:00Exists many theological text for this topic. For e...Exists many theological text for this topic. For example as says the catholic theologian Christopher West: <br /><br />"What if I told you that the key to understanding God’s plan for human life is to go behind the fig leaves and behold the human body, naked and without shame? What if I told you that the only way to see the invisible mystery of God is through the vision of the human body in its masculinity and femininity? What if I told you that the Christian mystery itself is simply unintelligible unless we understand the meaning of sexual difference and our call to sexual union? You’d probably think I was a bit obsessed with sex and naked bodies. You might even think I’ve been corrupted by pornographic culture. Understandable. But what if Pope John Paul II were telling you these things? Indeed, these – among other things – are what we learn from the first major project of Pope John Paul II."<br /><br /> In this collection of 129 audience addresses delivered between September 1979 and November 1984 first, the Pope develops an “adequate anthropology” based on the words of Christ. In order to have a “total vision of man,” we must look to our experience of embodiment “in the beginning” (Mt 19:8), in our history (Mt 5:27-28), and in our destiny (Mt 22:30). <br /><br />“The body, and it alone,” John Paul says, “ is capable of making visible what is invisible, the spiritual and divine. It was created to transfer into the visible reality of the world, the invisible mystery hidden in God from time immemorial, and thus to be a sign of it” (Feb 20, 1980).<br /> What does it mean? As physical, bodily creatures we simply cannot see God. He’s pure Spirit. But God wanted to make his mystery visible to us so he stamped it into our bodies by creating us as male and female in his own image (Gn 1:27). Thus, in a dramatic development of Catholic thought, John Paul concludes that “man became the ‘image and likeness’ of God not only through his own humanity, but also through the communion of persons which man and woman form right from the beginning.” The body has a “nuptial meaning” because it reveals man and woman’s call to become a gift for one another, a gift fully realized in their “one flesh” union. <br /><br />This is what Adam and Eve experienced “in the beginning.” The very sentiment of sexual desire as God created it to be was to love as God loves in the sincere gift of self. Since this call to love is the summary of the Gospel, John Paul can say that if we live according to the nuptial meaning of our bodies, we “fulfill the very meaning of [our] being and existence” (Jan 16, 1980). It is for this reason that a man clings to his wife and they become “one flesh” (see Gn 2:24)" ...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-83702380525976442162019-05-02T20:30:34.286-07:002019-05-02T20:30:34.286-07:00These are wonderful! And here I thought that the C...These are wonderful! And here I thought that the Catholic Church's view was that any kind of sex was OK, even before marriage.....as long as it was between a priest and someone of either gender under the age of 16. Learn something new every day.<br /><br />Now the Pastafarians need only be touched by His Noodly Appendage.....but I suppose we can seriously debate whether that appendage should manifest itself as linguine, spaghettini, or angel hair and on what day and whether the penetrator needs to be dressed as a pirate?<br /><br />Oh how I love religious parameters for sex! More please! <br /><br />(Dan: hey for next week's topic can we discuss which way Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Mickey Mouse think we should have sex?)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-53419227713954474092019-05-02T19:19:01.589-07:002019-05-02T19:19:01.589-07:00N. (L's first wife) was the one who told - and...N. (L's first wife) was the one who told - and showed - me that she enjoyed spanking or whipping her husband (and also that it improved their sex life!) What I also learned was that L. was turned on by his wife's firm discipline - and this was one of the reasons (or maybe the major one!) for me to follow her example when we got married... L. gets spanked or whipped more or less three times a week - and sex usually follows (to our mutual enjoyment)<br />J.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-13889403735376684262019-05-02T18:28:37.510-07:002019-05-02T18:28:37.510-07:00It is simple. In days the course of foreplay (teas...It is simple. In days the course of foreplay (tease and denial) wife has orgasms, but not husband. The Catholic Theology accepts female orgasms for course of foreplay and and other situations. Only the husband must never ejaculate outside of his wife’s vagina Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-60721278496880976952019-05-02T17:45:54.916-07:002019-05-02T17:45:54.916-07:00The bible: "the wife does not have authority ...The bible: "the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." (1 Corinthians 7:4)<br /><br />"Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time..." (1 Corinthians 7:5)<br /><br /><br />I think consensual denial orgasms for husband is also a good natural method. <br />The permission for male ejaculation is only if the wife wants a child or if she has barren days. Woman has control and she sometimes give permission for male ejaculation in her (if he was a good obedient man). Therefore the husband will much time be horny, but that's only right, because this recommended the bible: "let her breasts inebriate thee at all times..." (Proverbs 5:19) <br />:)<br /><br /><br />Tease and denial<br />Catholic Theology teaches: "The acts by which spouses lovingly prepare each other for genital intercourse (foreplay) are honorable and good." <br /> - Tease and Denial are only long foreplay.<br /><br />Catholic Theology also teaches: "An important point of clarification is needed. Since it’s the male orgasm that’s inherently linked with the possibility of new life, the husband must never intentionally ejaculate outside of his wife’s vagina (unintended ejaculation involves no moral fault). Since the female orgasm, however, isn’t necessarily linked to the possibility of conception, so long as it takes place within the overall context (...) if the wife’s orgasm isn't achieved during the natural course of foreplay and consummation, it would be the loving thing for the husband to stimulate his wife to climax thereafter (if she so desired)." <br /><br />- The husband should to stimulate his wife to climax, in this context the wife can have orgasms in course of foreplay, during penetration or also thereafter, for example - oral stimulation (if she so desired)<br /><br />Catholic Theology teaches: "It’s not objectively wrong if the wife achieves climax as a result of oral stimulation..."<br /><br />I think Tease and Denial is a good way<br /><br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-87132276557227365922019-05-02T14:56:21.790-07:002019-05-02T14:56:21.790-07:00>>>>>>>" And, let's ...>>>>>>>" And, let's keep in mind that not one iota of this "teaching" is based on anything the Bible actually says."<<<<<<<<<<<br /><br />True, but even if it was in the Bible, it still was just Iron age morality written by the men of that time. I wonder if anyone today would seriously base their life decisions on something they read in Bullfinch's Mythology? It would be just as logical to do so since people used to believe in sacrificing doves to the gods on Olympus. In the old days, different pagan cultures claimed their gods were mightier than their adversary's. Modern religions aren't that much better with people believing their god is real while others are myths. Imagine if we just did what made sense? ;-)<br /><br />Danielle:>>>>>>"P.S. Okay, Dan and KD, I see your point about bringing religion into discussions of DD."<<<<<<<< LOL and keep in mind this will all probably get much worse before it gets better. The more people weighing in, the more heated this will get, and the further from anything DD-related it will go. ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-19749191430413556072019-05-02T14:21:14.031-07:002019-05-02T14:21:14.031-07:00Danielle, totally agree, though I have issues with...Danielle, totally agree, though I have issues with the second "criteria" as well. You really have to wonder whether for the authors of this "teaching," the whole point of allowing "natural" methods is because they aren't very effective. The whole discussion becomes so theologically tortured. Are natural methods OK because God can get around them more easily if he wants the couple to conceive? So, he can cause Abraham's wife Rachel to conceive at 90 years-old but is stumped by a little piece of permeable rubber? And, let's keep in mind that not one iota of this "teaching" is based on anything the Bible actually says.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-26910812095206392562019-05-02T12:57:19.597-07:002019-05-02T12:57:19.597-07:00I would phrase it as "differently naughty&quo...I would phrase it as "differently naughty" than some of the other husbands. ;-)<br /><br />Thanks for the compliment. And, it definitely is not "one and done" on topics. That would be impossible, given the fairly narrow DD subject matter. Inevitably, we are going to cover the same topic repeatedly. My only loose rule is I try not to do a topic more than once per year. It is actually interesting how the comments change sometimes from year to year. The recent topic of alternative or extra punishments is a case in point. This year, there were a lot of people who were giving and receiving non-spanking punishments. In some prior years, there has been a very strong majority in favor of restricting DD to spankings. But, I shouldn't be surprised, as regular commenters have come and gone over the years.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com