tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post6840908567462496586..comments2024-03-28T11:43:32.966-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Club - Meeting #273 - OriginsDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-10731509410556167612019-03-28T16:01:20.245-07:002019-03-28T16:01:20.245-07:00I was never spanked as a child but hearing about i...I was never spanked as a child but hearing about it from others I guess it sparked my interest. When my wife and I started out I loved spanking her and getting spanked but this was all sexual. We moved into punishment spankings after a couple of years mostly due to my attitude and behavior. We set some rules and guidelines and when my wife thinks I need spanked she decides how hard and where. Usually in the den, always bare bottomed. She'll scold me as she's blistering me and I will be pleading and crying before she is finished. I never get spanked for anything but real issues. When she was injured and couldn't spank me a couple of years ago she had a woman she works with come over and we all talked about her spanking me until she was healed. I was very nervous and resisted but my wife was determined as she pointed out how much I needed it after 2 weeks. My wife spanks me while sitting on the couch. Her friend had me standing before her nude as she sat on a chair and ask her to please blister my bare bottom and pulled me over her knee. What a totally embarrassing experience, my head and hands on the floor and my bottom up in the air, she wasn't shy about rubbing my bottom and commenting on how nice and red it was getting. She paddled me until I was gasping and in tears. She then had me standing in the corner for 20 minutes, something my wife never did. After my corner time I was kneeling on a ottoman bottom over the arm of the couch getting lotion rubbed on my bottom she explained to my wife and I that this would help my skin and make the belt sting more. The whole time I was getting strapped I was sobbing, squirming and hearing my wife say how effective this was. Over the next few weeks she showed her how to give me a good switching,put me in various positions and give me very painful and embarrassing punishment. My wife has since done exactly that and I have become much better behaved. I always try to be aware now because I know she will spank me in front of her friends.Martin Robertsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-19002086385287918382018-11-17T10:37:49.993-08:002018-11-17T10:37:49.993-08:00It began with me punishing her and has become me s...It began with me punishing her and has become me submitting fully to her including physical discipline and much more. It was17 years ago when my wife and I met, I was into spanking and she was interested in being spanked. We met through an online contact site and I was more than happy to oblige. I could never have imagined the place we are now at. Spanking graduated to strapping, caning and paddling her large round bottom - now that large round bottom dominates me and I spend regular time under it worshipping, usually with my own backside on fire!<br />I think the change started with me asking if she would sit on my face, but I guess there must also have been a mental shift as well. When I first crossed the line and asked the question that is referred to in your pictures for this post, she was clear that a light spanking was all that she would ever do! Ha ha - now she layes on the strap and cane with real vigour and totally enjoys it. It's been 12 years since the switch and progress has been steady, at some pint a chastity device was introduced, at another cross dressing for her and during 11 of those years things found a level. But 12 months ago things really stepped up a geara when I retired. My wife is 9 years my junior and still works almost full time - I have become her fully submissive sissy husband, doing house work when she is out, disciplined at least weekly and more. She has really embraced her rolke as HOH, her cnfudence has grown in every way and as it has done my submission has increased. Cane, strap and leather paddle are now in weekly action and her demands increase by the week.Tamed Husbandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07516020932030794425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-51660805673164596372018-11-17T10:19:41.787-08:002018-11-17T10:19:41.787-08:00I wonder whether anyone has ever used one of those...I wonder whether anyone has ever used one of those BodyShop bath brushes for an actual bath . . . Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-34200585090034526332018-11-17T08:51:47.309-08:002018-11-17T08:51:47.309-08:00We were out for cocktails together. We were very ...We were out for cocktails together. We were very close, and she just asked outright how things were going with my wife, as they too were friends. This was in the fairly early stages of our DD lifestyle, and I was pretty obsessed with it all. I just felt compelled to tell her about it, and the wine had loosened by tongue. So, I told her all about it. Fairly shortly thereafter, I told my wife that I had told the friend. And, fairly shortly after that, they went to a football game together, had a few drinks, and called me on the way home to mutually tease me (good naturedly) about the spanking I was going to get that night. They had spent a good part of the afternoon talking about DD and my wife spanking me, and were having a good old time continuing the conversation with me on the phone. It was mortifying, though I obviously opened the door to it. Unless my wife has told someone on the side (and I don't think she has), that friend remains the only one who knows both of us in "real life" and knows all about our lifestyle.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-36632905531947226552018-11-17T07:18:15.162-08:002018-11-17T07:18:15.162-08:00How did that conversation come about?How did that conversation come about?Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-89659349947461825462018-11-17T05:07:39.563-08:002018-11-17T05:07:39.563-08:00We always found journaling and other formal report...We always found journaling and other formal reporting methods to be highly effective. What worked especially well for us was negotiating the goals together and specifying what success criteria looked like.<br /><br />She always considering my explanations when I did not meet certain goals and occasionally surprised me by deciding I had done my best and no discipline was required. I remember those times as if I had been given a great gift.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-8565928239939192022018-11-17T03:52:13.524-08:002018-11-17T03:52:13.524-08:00Actually she initiated it in a playful way one nig...Actually she initiated it in a playful way one night after a few too many glasses of wine. I think I was being a bit cheeky and as we were headed upstairs she smacked my rear and then seemed to get the taste for it and carried on as we got to bed. All very cheerful, lightweight and she had no idea the Pandora's box that she opened!<br /><br />We had been married over 20 years at that point and I had only vaguely referred to my interest in corporal punishment, blaming it on my upbringing. I had never thought of introducing it into our relationship where I was the head of house, breadwinner and alpha male. But I thought (a lot) about it, did some reading (Aunt Kay and others), worked out that I maybe could retain my male pride, submit when I misbehaved and give my wife the opportunity to re balance our relationship.<br /><br />I wrote a long letter, describing my lifelong interest, my love for her, my disappointment at my often unfair behaviour/words and the possibility of her taking some control. I then sat with her as she read it, more nervous than almost any other time and I was very, very grateful when she hugged me and thanked me for being so honest.<br /><br />We tried it out later that week, with some light strokes with the (BodyShop) bath brush - a mean instrument as it later turned out to be but that morning was more like a massage. With regular feedback on duration, severity, etc she fairly quickly worked up to being comfortable delivering a decent spanking, accompanied by the inevitable confession and telling off.<br /><br />I got her a paddle, a strap and a short cane and the rest as they say is history. Both she and I know that our relationship, very good to start with, is even better when she keeps the reins tight. We have agreed that I keep a journal which she reads and I have agreed to be completely honest, which can be hard. I know I have a love/hate relationship with her strap which I am sure many share, where I fantasise about her giving me a proper beating, but get desperate for her to stop when the reality of getting what I asked for & mostly deserve is in progress!. But I wouldn't have it any other way. <br /><br />She has no interest in spanking per se, but sees the benefits of using it to help and control me. TBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-45646666406145488252018-11-16T18:12:49.472-08:002018-11-16T18:12:49.472-08:00Awesome comments. Thanks, ZM! I could have written...Awesome comments. Thanks, ZM! I could have written much of this myself, with the exception of an early interest in spanking, a first wife, and spankings from a college student! But, much of the rest of it really is similar, especially, "I realized that what I really desire and need are enforced boundaries and accountability, without which I feel somehow like life is spinning out of control." You are one of the first contributors, however, who tried and failed to get a wife interested in providing those boundaries and accountability. I got lucky in that respect, even though my wife too came from a pretty conservative family environment. The difference may have been that while her family was conservative, she was pretty open about sex. Though, she also didn't really see DD as sexual when we started, because I had pledged that spanking would be used only as real punishment, and I think the bottom line is part of her resonated with the concept of punishing me, because I deserved it. Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-34750836288881462792018-11-16T15:54:07.922-08:002018-11-16T15:54:07.922-08:00Since this was one of the topics I said I could so...Since this was one of the topics I said I could so easily write about, I better write something!<br /><br />I will start with spanking because it far pre-dated DD for me. I can't say when spanking first hit my radar screen, it was just kind of there from the beginning. I was spanked from time to time as a child, though I don't think it was all that severe. I remember in junior high having a morbid fascination with the principal's office and the paddlings that I heard about, but I was the good kid that could never bring myself to cross the line far enough to experience that.<br /><br />As a teen, I remember reading a story in Penthouse about a guy getting spanked by his girlfriend and going to a party with a paddle hanging from his waist so her friends could give him swats. It was pretty bad fiction, but it hit me like a lightning bolt. It was the first time I ever though of spanking as being sexual. After that, the feelings only intensified, though I didn't get a chance to experience it for a number of years. <br /><br />I tried to introduce it to my first wife, but she wasn't receptive at all. She came from a very conservative background, where sex was at best a necessary evil. I think she tried, but anything the least bit kinky just felt too dirty to her. I now recognize that even though it seemed at the time like my unmet “need” for spanking put stress on the relationship, in reality the relationship was never built on solid footings of trust, openness, and genuine partnership. It is entirely possible that had those other fundamentals been more manifest in our relationship, she might have been more able to spank me.<br /><br />Through the years, I realized that what I really desire and need are enforced boundaries and accountability, without which I feel somehow like life is spinning out of control. Again, my wife couldn't help much; she couldn't understand why I couldn't just get my act together and be self-disciplined, and she assumed it was all just an attempt to get her to spank me, which it probably was to some degree.<br /><br />After my marriage ended, I met up several times with a college student about 25 years younger than me, and there I first experienced real spankings. Interestingly enough, our meetings weren't sexual. She was just curious and wanting to try things, and maybe take out some repressed resentment towards guys on me. She spanked me hard and long, but it wasn't all that satisfying. I learned that it wasn't just spanking I was after, but also that it must be in the context of relationship, given by someone that I love and who loves me. <br /><br />This leads me to meeting the love of my life and soulmate. Our marriage is a blessing in every way. I love her so deeply and we have a great partnership that I couldn't have even dreamed of or imagined before. We are so natural together, and openness just comes easy. After we started dating, I told her rather early about my desires/needs, and she was open to it, even though this was all entirely new to her.<br /><br />Over the past few years with her, and in no small part due to this blog, I continue to learn more about myself and these wants and needs with which I have struggled my whole life. While I am still a spanko, I now view spanking as just being one tool to exert control and to encourage behavioral change. I now know other non-spanking punishments and humiliations are probably at least as effective. <br /><br />I am truly in heaven right now, because even as we are still learning and probably have a long way to go in terms of consistency and getting it right, we are doing it TOGETHER! Not only is DD not pushing us apart, but in fact it is bringing us ever closer together in every way.<br /><br />-ZM Bad_boy_G_punished_by_Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15062930835790875000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-26589152274608397422018-11-16T07:15:17.719-08:002018-11-16T07:15:17.719-08:00"Most people are good. Some simply aren't..."Most people are good. Some simply aren't." Right! Big wisdom there.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-19146531271251666592018-11-15T09:13:58.669-08:002018-11-15T09:13:58.669-08:00I'm sure. It's very slimy. Most people ar...I'm sure. It's very slimy. Most people are good. Some simply aren't.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-9622358364192880352018-11-15T05:18:57.121-08:002018-11-15T05:18:57.121-08:00Can you imagine the thoughts and feeling I have ha...Can you imagine the thoughts and feeling I have had over the years toward the guy who stole Aunt Kay's web address and turned it into a porno?Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-89416967495271067522018-11-14T12:06:28.645-08:002018-11-14T12:06:28.645-08:00Definitely cool, and it's great to have such s...Definitely cool, and it's great to have such supportive friends. As I have told here before, we have one mutual friend who knows. While she isn't into spanking, she was incredibly supportive when I opened up to her about our lifestyle.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-42975311911556340992018-11-14T12:04:12.382-08:002018-11-14T12:04:12.382-08:00Charm and good looks certainly go a long way. Not ...Charm and good looks certainly go a long way. Not that I would know.<br /><br />Alan, I agree that most failures are likely self-sabotage. You see it every time a female Dominant starts a new blog. She's instantly hounded by guys asking if she will spank them. I'm sure they approach "real world" prospects the same way.<br /><br />Though, I am constantly surprised at how willing women seem to be to take on the disciplinarian role if asked. SR's experience of long delays and "never again" positions seem to be the exception, not the rule. Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-61300427876846518562018-11-14T08:31:27.871-08:002018-11-14T08:31:27.871-08:00I saw "Jack's" post before you delet...I saw "Jack's" post before you deleted it and marvel about his OCD pattern. He has dropped these "fantasies" of his around the blogs so often one could almost recite one from memory so similar are they. Particularly revealing ( and irritating) is how he works in the same identical phrases or words (" face the wall" " could care less" Better do.." and on and on.Jack urgently needs a spanking. I hope he gets one sometime soon.<br />Alan Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-38121810905015950812018-11-14T07:09:31.719-08:002018-11-14T07:09:31.719-08:00Love the positive message from Alan and could not ...Love the positive message from Alan and could not agree more.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-24832908926324269272018-11-13T19:11:46.529-08:002018-11-13T19:11:46.529-08:00She was not immediately agreeable. Between first ...She was not immediately agreeable. Between first disclosure and now was 13 years and twice she said no more. But my charm and good looks persuaded her...if you can believe that.Somethingrandomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09191398018083341750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-37059137255402063542018-11-13T14:54:25.754-08:002018-11-13T14:54:25.754-08:00It's interesting, isn't it? After hearing...It's interesting, isn't it? After hearing about Stan Lee's death, I got curious about spanking in comics. There was almost nothing from Marvel, quite a bit from DC's early years and, interestingly, a hell of a lot from comics from an earlier era. It's interesting how, as attitudes toward sex in general have generally liberalized, there was actually much MORE spanking content in comics a few decades ago.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-14106520857332774712018-11-13T14:47:44.235-08:002018-11-13T14:47:44.235-08:00Sean. Go away you psychotic little pest.Sean. Go away you psychotic little pest.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-5439996532819202042018-11-13T12:11:57.122-08:002018-11-13T12:11:57.122-08:00Clearly that is not always the case and not every ...Clearly that is not always the case and not every women is going to be open to spanking you, but it is much more frequent than commonly thought or widely bemoaned on the internet ( we have all heard this one : " there are 99 men to every one woman who are into spanking")That is just rubbish. A lot more women are amenable to spanking than this common woe suggests.Much more important however is the number of women who will out of love for you and concern for the relationship assume the role of disciplinarian if they are asked to do so.The key to this is a serious and committed relationship. I expect men who are repeatedly frustrated in finding a partner either approach her too early or do it without the relationship front and center. I am not ignoring the real difficulty of establishing a DD relationship but emphasizing how important the relationship is in the equation. Even women who are spankos ( and there are many) are going to be much more interested within a stable relationship. <br />Alan Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-18183587254121822742018-11-13T09:12:20.685-08:002018-11-13T09:12:20.685-08:00Thank heaven for those magazines - and for women w...Thank heaven for those magazines - and for women who are natural DWCers.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-82507700750223245222018-11-13T09:09:03.531-08:002018-11-13T09:09:03.531-08:00How cool is that story?How cool is that story?Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-75564853251319718482018-11-13T05:58:17.925-08:002018-11-13T05:58:17.925-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-16788219991006377712018-11-13T05:56:33.882-08:002018-11-13T05:56:33.882-08:00A close mutual friend introduced us who knew quite...A close mutual friend introduced us who knew quite a bit about her and some about me. It was that rare case of matchmaking that succeeded. Interestingly the mutual friend was not a spanko but knew a lot about my future wife’s experiences with spanking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-56258084455424314492018-11-13T05:17:36.687-08:002018-11-13T05:17:36.687-08:00On the theme of comic books - I distinctly remembe...On the theme of comic books - I distinctly remember reading a personal anecdote written by a mom and published in a comic book. Once upon a time in the early days of comic books, they were so hard up for reader participation that they published Reader's Comments as a feature in the middle of the books.<br /><br />The one I so vividly recall was by a woman who said that her son had disobeyed her and snuck out at night, gone to the pool hall (apparently a disreputable thing at the time)and snuck back to his room late at night.<br /><br />She described waking him, "dragging him out of bed" and spanking "his naked backside" with a strap until he "cried like a baby."<br /><br />I have no idea why she felt compelled to send that in. But there it was and for the longest time I could recite every word of it in my mind.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.com