tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post6486194248125745047..comments2024-03-18T20:37:30.660-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Club - Meeting #266 - All Dressed Up . . .Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-39889166284933861922018-09-21T05:47:32.465-07:002018-09-21T05:47:32.465-07:00I am ever grateful to Aunt Kay for teaching me goo...I am ever grateful to Aunt Kay for teaching me good manners. Might not have anything to do with anything here. But just saying.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-81644675493792176682018-09-14T12:09:34.445-07:002018-09-14T12:09:34.445-07:00If you don't mind, let's all hold these th...If you don't mind, let's all hold these thoughts until tomorrow, at which time I can devote a whole topic to it.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-74554518991506327072018-09-14T10:45:24.163-07:002018-09-14T10:45:24.163-07:00Thank you both( I think)for observations based on ...Thank you both( I think)for observations based on more experience than your husbands like to remember. But don't you think there are also women whose libido is not consistent with administering punishment and they temporarily shut down. I am not perfect but over the years I have learned to take a spanking and make it a positive experience. I don't move around much, also present my bum for her and keep in position and feel and express remorse as well as recite exactly why I am in trouble. My spanking go a lot like Helen has described except at the end I am told to pull up my pants and dismissed, rather than invited to make love. I sound like I am complaining but don't mean to I am grateful for the discipline my wife hands out which often keeps me from going off the rails as well as harming our relationship. I just know that love making adds greatly to discipline and don't really understand why it is denied to me other than that some women simply are not interested in making love to a man they have just needed to punish.<br />AlanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-9278526612311724932018-09-14T09:04:08.715-07:002018-09-14T09:04:08.715-07:00Peanutbutter, please.Peanutbutter, please.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-15058844790168988242018-09-14T09:03:42.031-07:002018-09-14T09:03:42.031-07:00Hi ZM. That is interesting, isn't it? Probabl...Hi ZM. That is interesting, isn't it? Probably just a reflection of the horny, kinky crowd we have here at the Disciplinary Couples Club. ;-) I think there also may be different forms of "role play" in these relationships. One, as you describe is explicitly fantasy, like your pirate example. But, for many of us there is a more subtle "role playing" element, revolving around playing an improved version of oneself. You describe you and your wife as: "In reality, my wife is a strong, smart, extremely responsible woman with high expectations for herself and those around her. And in reality I am also strong, very intelligent, hard-working, and a very kind person. However, I also have a few rough edges. I always push the limits in everything, like somehow I really need to know that there are boundaries. I rely too much on superior intellect, so I don't know my own limits. I am horrible with managing time. I am not very good at getting started on things (though once I do get started, I simply don't stop for anything)." That description of yourself matches me almost to a T, except I am pretty good at getting started at things and less good at carrying them through to a successful conclusion. In addition to those qualities, I tend to be overly aggressive, take too many personal risks, and I'm generally too unstructured and poorly organized. Like your wife, mine is smart, strong and hard working, but also kind and forgiving -- sometimes too much so -- and in years past not as assertive as she could be. So, to some extent this FLR lifestyle represents us both "role playing" as improved, more balanced versions of our true selves, with her Disciplinary Wife persona being more assertive, more aggressive and more commanding that she probably feels at her core, and with being a deferential, attentive, humble, husband playing WAY against my "real" character.<br /><br />I like your policeman simile. The uniform does, to some extent, make the man . . or woman.<br /><br />Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-20655885586412774142018-09-13T18:25:00.898-07:002018-09-13T18:25:00.898-07:00Well said, Judy!Well said, Judy!Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09435985013672212553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-32692720248096883222018-09-13T17:59:17.712-07:002018-09-13T17:59:17.712-07:00This is such a healthy, positive, example of how a...This is such a healthy, positive, example of how a couple molds DD, or in my lingo DWC, fundamentals into somehting that works perfectly for them. Love thrives, and positive behavior is powerfully encouraged. This makes me quite happy to hear about.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-31385333804658386742018-09-13T15:38:46.970-07:002018-09-13T15:38:46.970-07:00Hello Dan,
I think it is interesting that as soon ...Hello Dan,<br />I think it is interesting that as soon as you mentioned clothing, the conversation quickly transitioned to role play. <br /><br />As I have said before, we do both domestic discipline and also sometimes femdom role play, and the two are entirely different. When we do roleplay, it is for fun, and when we do DD it is about as real as any consensual DD can be: real infractions and real emotions resulting in real punishments hopefully leading to real change. <br /><br />Obviously for roleplay, clothing is important because the correct clothing helps to assume a role. For example, it is much easier to pretend to be a pirate if you are dressed as a pirate. However, we believe that clothing plays just as large of a role in DD. The difference is, in DD she is not dressing up to be or pretending to be someone she is not. <br /><br />In reality, my wife is a strong, smart, extremely responsible woman with high expectations for herself and those around her. And in reality I am also strong, very intelligent, hard-working, and a very kind person. However, I also have a few rough edges. I always push the limits in everything, like somehow I really need to know that there are boundaries. I rely too much on superior intellect, so I don't know my own limits. I am horrible with managing time. I am not very good at getting started on things (though once I do get started, I simply don't stop for anything). Also, because I am very kind, I tend to say yes too often to people. None of these character traits is all that unusual, nor are they worse than other people might have, but the problem is that we are in a critical time in our life where failure simply is not an option, and we need me to be not only running at full speed, but also routinely doing the impossible! Consequently, my wife is helping me to become more responsible, quicker to start things, more resolute, etc.<br /><br />We have found that a HUGE part of the dynamic of DD is psychological and is centered around the temporary (but profound) shift in power. In fact, I would say it is the only thing that really matters, and physical punishment is merely a reinforcement of (and a later reminder of) that power exchange.<br /><br />For us, the clothing worn (or lack thereof) during DD acts as strong reinforcement of the power imbalance that is so critical to the DD process. She doesn't dress to be a teacher and pretend that I am a naughty student. Instead, she dresses in something that highlights the powerful person that she already is and which shows the authority that she wields, much like a uniform does. A policeman is still the same person whether wearing his/her uniform or not, but it is automatically easier to respect his/her position and authority when (s)he is in uniform.<br /><br />We at times get a little closer to what some may consider roleplay when it comes to what I wear during a punishment. Just being naked or partially naked when she is dressed in powerful clothing already provides a striking contrast. But as she makes it clear that I am not meeting our mutual expectations, if she thinks it necessary she doesn't hesitate to do further things to suppress my massive male ego long enough for me to actually listen, and that can include feminine clothes or even a diaper. Even in this, she doesn't pretend that I am something else, but rather it is more “if you are going to act like a baby and whine about things instead of taking action, then you can just dress like a baby. How shameful that a full-grown man like you has to be treated like a baby.” <br /><br />Anyway, all that is to say that for us, clothing plays a significant role in DD.<br />-ZMAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-92137370870645395522018-09-13T09:55:35.734-07:002018-09-13T09:55:35.734-07:00Whether love making of any sort happens in this ho...Whether love making of any sort happens in this house depends on how well he has submitted to me and whether I see signs of real penance. If he resists me or thrashes around or swears he is not accepting it and not showing penance. I think some after care is my responsibility but sex is a reward and he doesn't get rewarded until I see real submission and contrition. This by the way is also possible to observe while he is in the corner and petulance or attitude are on display. When I do see acceptance and real regret my heart melts for him and I am likely to begin love making being pretty aggressive about it. But otherwise I a not interested in sex with him at all and just might spank him again Alan my guess is the women who spanked you are not seeing the submission and remorse they are looking for either while they are punishing you or in your behavior later. If you want to make love to as you put it the women who just spanked me, you need to show her that spanking worked because I tell you from experience she is trying very hard to make it work and that will make her happy ( as well as frisky)<br />Judy Z Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-66763388757159469192018-09-13T06:04:10.108-07:002018-09-13T06:04:10.108-07:00That is another topic!That is another topic!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-56497218155387007242018-09-13T05:58:14.808-07:002018-09-13T05:58:14.808-07:00There are fan clubs? I'll bring the cookies.There are fan clubs? I'll bring the cookies.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-47754384732428914382018-09-13T05:53:14.487-07:002018-09-13T05:53:14.487-07:00Helen
It might have been my behavior. I am not as ...Helen<br />It might have been my behavior. I am not as obedient after I have been allowed to ejaculate. My wife has often remarked that I am better behaved when denied and to a point that is probably true. But sex after spanking was cut off both my former girlfriend who introduced me to DD and my wife. Both allowed lovemaking early in the relationship but stopped it a year or two in. Both eventually admitted they did not feel like sex after punishing me. My wife originally said it was just a part of the punishment and she felt discipline and lovemaking didn’t mix. But she now is frank to say making love to a naughty boy who was spanked doesn’t make her want to make love. Strangely my wife reports that the experience of spanking me and my behavior afterward does make her horny a day or two later but not that day. I miss it a lot and we have talked about it plenty but my wife will not relent. I think she sincerely believes denying me enhances the discipline and in a sense it does because I know getting in trouble with her means no sex and intercourse with her is the only time I am allowed to ejaculate. But I also remember the feelings of intimacy and passion that came from making love to the woman who had just spanked me. It was awesome. I look forward to your discussion of the topic and imagine many other men are interested too. My wife doesn’t normally read any spanking blogs but she will read that one<br />Alan<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-83391652100345640502018-09-13T02:02:50.192-07:002018-09-13T02:02:50.192-07:00I prefer my nudity.I really do hate clothing.I prefer my nudity.I really do hate clothing.Merry Contraryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13605968415958113942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-21176897405570222952018-09-12T23:46:16.080-07:002018-09-12T23:46:16.080-07:00Alan,
If you did experience lovemaking after spank...Alan,<br />If you did experience lovemaking after spanking but now it is forbidden, then something must have happened for your wife to change her mind about allowing it. Something that led her to believe that sex reduces the effectiveness of punishment. Something about your subsequent behavior?<br />HelenHelenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09435985013672212553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-66810290836769285972018-09-12T17:48:53.791-07:002018-09-12T17:48:53.791-07:00But . . . but . . . I thought you were president o...But . . . but . . . I thought you were president of MY fan club? :-)Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-14363103005461296042018-09-12T14:04:16.783-07:002018-09-12T14:04:16.783-07:00And I will be president of yours, Anna!And I will be president of yours, Anna!Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09435985013672212553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-664009909973516602018-09-12T11:39:21.882-07:002018-09-12T11:39:21.882-07:00Dan
A couple of questions that perhaps can be topi...Dan<br />A couple of questions that perhaps can be topics you can use in a future blog.<br /><br />1) If the husbands being disciplined had a choice as to how he wanted his wife to dress <br /> what would that be?<br />2) What are the feelings about including sex after a discipline session. That is for both<br /> husband and/or wife.<br />3) How does a husband feel about being disciplined in front of others? <br />4) How does the couple feel about others knowing? about adult children being aware?<br /><br />Just a few random thoughts. Do love the chats here. Adore Helen I want to be president <br /> of her fan club! As always thank you for this forum!<br /><br />annaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-49834085433186390552018-09-12T08:07:08.327-07:002018-09-12T08:07:08.327-07:00KD, First, there isn't a whole lot of reason t...KD, First, there isn't a whole lot of reason to consider something that would never transpire (Andy's perfect behavior, lol). But to answer: I am greatly turned on by power exchange and would want that in some manner. Andy is a spanko and I believe would want that in some manner. So I guess it's a good thing that he can't behave!Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09435985013672212553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-44657842557455177612018-09-12T07:33:00.983-07:002018-09-12T07:33:00.983-07:00Yes.Yes.Good Life Mickeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08825377220244945340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-73386066359856600862018-09-12T06:20:15.284-07:002018-09-12T06:20:15.284-07:00Helen: You said: "spanking is definitely erot...Helen: You said: "spanking is definitely erotic for both of us, even though we only do it for punishment". Later you say how great the reconnection is after a spanking and sex, so I have a question: If Andy suddenly behaved perfectly and needed no further discipline, would you just go on with your lives without spanking of any kind......even if it meant missing out on that little extra touch of passion?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-879159262425427532018-09-11T15:56:18.330-07:002018-09-11T15:56:18.330-07:00Alan, I will speak very passionately on this topic...Alan, I will speak very passionately on this topic when the time comes, including my argument that sex can actually enhance the effects of discipline because of the intimacy. He feels so close to me after punishment followed by sex that he truly wants to obey.Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09435985013672212553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-26286836516733372172018-09-11T14:43:12.257-07:002018-09-11T14:43:12.257-07:00Hi Alan. I think we've covered that or somethi...Hi Alan. I think we've covered that or something like it in the past, but recycling topics is kind of inevitable given the narrowness of this blog's subject matter. I'm happy to make it a topic soon.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-47931773999212567252018-09-11T11:02:22.252-07:002018-09-11T11:02:22.252-07:00Hi Dan,
It sounds like Helen has achieved the perf...Hi Dan,<br />It sounds like Helen has achieved the perfect balance between enjoying the eroticism possible in spanking and achieving the disciplinary benefits also possible. This suggests a poll question not yet covered as far as I remember: after discipline what sort of sexual activity if any are you allowed. Possible answers could range from the kind of lovemaking reported by Helen to lovemaking with penetration but no climax to lovemaking with no penetration, to no lovemaking at all to forbidden all lovemaking/sex for a period. I am in the last of these (24 hour rule) although earlier I did experience lovemaking immediately after spanking which I remember as a passionate and intimate experience. My wife feels strongly about this, believing that sex works against the disciplinary effects of a spanking and so I am unlikely to change her mind. But it would be interesting in this community to know how much or little lovemaking is allowed by our wives and girlfriends. From reading I have the impression my situation is pretty common and Helen’s rare, but could be wrong. <br />Alan<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-78453135847284971492018-09-10T18:38:32.172-07:002018-09-10T18:38:32.172-07:00I guess that is so. We don't know any other DW...I guess that is so. We don't know any other DW couples personally, so it's hard to compare. But spanking is definitely erotic for both of us, even though we only do it for punishment. Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09435985013672212553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-35532449145922983782018-09-10T18:33:58.192-07:002018-09-10T18:33:58.192-07:00You only get spanked at bedtime?You only get spanked at bedtime?Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09435985013672212553noreply@blogger.com