tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post6226339872979984785..comments2024-03-28T21:45:05.911-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Club - Meeting 282 - When DD Works and When it Does NotDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-73628767413544299972019-02-03T15:11:14.408-08:002019-02-03T15:11:14.408-08:00Tina,
Your comment didn't overstep, but I do...Tina, <br /><br />Your comment didn't overstep, but I do think that virtually every time I get into this discussion it is with someone who is in a relationship that is all about D/s and little, if at all, DD in its orientation. They don't have the same motivations and the relationship dynamics vary significantly. <br /><br />Also, all these power exchange relationship are complicated. And, without meaning to cast aspersions on yours, do you notice how much your comment focuses on him "giving" you control and the effect it has when he asks you to "take" control but he does not easily "give" it? If the entire dynamic depends on him submitting easily, willingly, consistently . . . then he may have given up control but have you really "taken" it? Is Dominating really dominating if it is 100% dependent on the other person yielding quickly and easily? I used to ride horses. I never found controlling the spiritless ones to be very satisfying, and if my ability to stay in the saddle depended on them never bucking, did the deficiency lie with them or with me . . . Food for thought.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-60446847029037748812019-02-03T14:56:26.524-08:002019-02-03T14:56:26.524-08:00Your comment is really a variant on the "this...Your comment is really a variant on the "this must be a game, because if you were really submissive you'd just do as you're told" comments that I get from time to time. The most recent treatment of them is probably in this fairly recent post: https://disciplinedhubbies.blogspot.com/2018/10/the-club-meeting-270-bad-habits.html. To recap a bit. First, at the most simplistic, I think they confuse DD with Femdom and D/s. Second, and relatedly, I don't claim to be a submissive, so the comment about breaking the D/s dynamic doesn't really fit my situation. Third, if boundaries are something that one can impose on themselves, then they are really pretty unnecessary, right? The whole point of DD is having boundaries enforced and/or imposed. If I could control it easily by myself, then I probably would. This is, to me, one of the many distinctions between "submitting" on the one hand, and being a "disciplined husband" on the other. There are obviously overlaps but they aren't the same thing.<br /><br />As for Trump and Pence, let's keep a few facts in mind. Pence was a largely unsuccessful and unpopular governor, who joined the Trump campaign because he was one of the few conservatives willing to associate his "brand" with Trump at that stage. And, because his own brand was pretty tarnished, there was nowhere but to go but up. His relationship with his wife also seems very weird on all sorts of levels as does his approach to temptation in general, since he also claims not to meet with women without his wife present. Could he be a slave in a Femdom relationship? Possibly, though he seems far too timid and rigid for anything like that. Also, since his wife recently got a lot of bad press for agreeing to teach at a school that does not admit gays, kink definitely does not seem to be their thing. Though, you never know with those buttoned down conservatives. Still waters run deep, as does hypocrisy. Perhaps he has all the rules about drinking and not being away from his wife because deep down inside he wants to do all sorts of freaky things but lacks self-control? Hard to imagine, and a pretty disturbing visual.<br /><br />As for Trump's business success, to use a baseball metaphor, don't confuse being born on third-base with hitting a home run. Trump was born into an incredibly wealthy family. His father funneled him over $300 million. https://www.economist.com/united-states/2018/10/06/donald-trumps-inheritance. Yet, despite being raised with such extreme privilege and with all the real estate learning one would think he got from his rich, real estate developer father, he bankrupted his companies at least four times. Trump University, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, Trump Magazine, the New Jersey Generals, Trump Airlines, Trump Entertainment Resorts -- all failed Trump businesses. Had I inherited $300M at the age he did and simply placed in an index fund, it would be worth several billion -- likely more than Trump is worth today and without the intervening bankruptcies. He also seems to have uniquely few real, lasting personal relationships with anyone other than blood relatives, including three divorces and chronic infidelity. So, if I were looking for examples of very successful teetotalers, he is not the role model I would look for. <br /><br />In fact, Trump's multiple personal and professional failures and his lack of alcohol bring to mind President Lincoln's response when lesser generals whined that General Grant had a drinking problem: “Can you send a barrel of whatever whiskey he drinks to all my other generals?” Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-85276870933330649052019-02-03T14:53:59.832-08:002019-02-03T14:53:59.832-08:00Thanks for the thoughtful reply. Sorry if I overst...Thanks for the thoughtful reply. Sorry if I overstepped a line. <br /><br />I would give you better names than Trump or Pence, but we dont have common friends that I could name. Do you really think that your business success depends on drinking with the colleagues/customers? If so, that´s interesting to me. I thought these times are over. Maybe it is different for you as a man. For me , as a woman, it is super easy not to drink at all.<br /><br />One point I wanted to make, but obviously did not make is: From a female point of view, from my point of view, there is nothing more heartbreaking and hurting than being told "take control" and then the guy does not actually give me control. It has happened many times to me. And every incident is engraved in my memory. I have told guys to do something and they did not do it, did not obey. It is a terrible feeling for me. Sucks the energy out of me. Makes me feel small and worthless. <br /><br />To quote Ferns again: D/s takes two people. As a dominant, I CANNOT be second guessing whether he will do what I want or not, I need to trust him to submit. If I can’t trust him, it leads to a headspace that looks like this:<br /><br />“Should I ask him to get me some water? What if he says ‘no’? He looks pretty comfortable, maybe he won’t want to get up. Ahhh, he’ll say ‘yes’, I’m sure he will. Maybe he won’t… what if he doesn’t. Ahh, hell, I’ll just get it myself, I don’t want to fight about it.”<br /><br />Soon, she is not dominating him anymore, she is just getting him to do things that she hopes he won’t mind doing. He then wonders what happened to the fearless Domme he used to adore and she wonders what happened to her lovely submissive.lawyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11947031726118465940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-44464373791741959342019-02-03T10:11:52.027-08:002019-02-03T10:11:52.027-08:00Dan, regarding you and the alcohol: I dont underst...Dan, regarding you and the alcohol: I dont understand at all what you are doing. I mean: If your wife is ok with you drinking as much as you do, and when you enjoy doing it, where is the problem? Keep doing it.<br /><br />The situation is completely different though when your wife wants you to not drink or only have a few drinks and you ignore her orders/wishes over and over again. <br /><br />Ferns from Australia once wrote that she says to her subs: “All you have to do to break the D/s dynamic is say ‘No’. That’s it. Say ‘No’, and keep saying ‘No’, and you will break it.” You dont say it, but your actions speak louder than words. You just dont do it. So my question is: why are you intentionally destroying your wife`s efforts to give you what you want, namely boundaries?<br /><br />I assume that you are not actually addicted to alcohol. I mean: no 12 step program needed. But when it is only a habit, a social thing, something you enjoy, something you are used to, why do you even pretend to hand over control to your wife when you obviously dont wanna end that habit and actually keep all control to yourself? I really dont understand what you are doing here. <br /><br />Either you are really addicted to the alcohol, which I hope you are not. Or drinking alcohol is just like any other bad habit that you wanna break.<br /><br />What makes it so impossible to submit to her when it comes to alcohol?<br /><br />Oh and as for your argument of: I need to drink alcohol to connect with the colleagues/customers etc: Trump has become president without drinking alcohol, and Pence is VP and allegedly only drinks when his wife is around. You might think of these people what you want..., but they are proof that your business success is not linked to your ability to drink alcohol.lawyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11947031726118465940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-63619685924173420552019-02-02T10:10:05.230-08:002019-02-02T10:10:05.230-08:00I don't think it's philosophical. I think ...I don't think it's philosophical. I think it's physical. When Frank is in his wife's physical presence, and in front of a bunch of people, he has little choice but to obey. It's like when our wives tell us to pull down our pants and bend over while she is holding an implement. We feel have absolutely no choice. But when Frank is supposed to make a phone call, and Elizabeth is many miles away, he does feel like he has a choice. As do those around him.<br />A lurking husband Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-25941250580542562592019-02-02T09:37:05.271-08:002019-02-02T09:37:05.271-08:00"he other situation is quite different. She i..."he other situation is quite different. She is not there in person. I am at work, following a rule she has imposed, to call when I will be late. I have to stop what I am doing, often interrupting a meeting with several other guys. I feel embarrassed and childish. It's somehow a different kind of mother, a bossy"<br /><br />I totally get the distinction you are making, though I don't have any better way to articulate it. Sometimes moms are exercising authority and looking out for us. Sometimes they are just being bossy and controlling. There IS a difference in the way those two distinct exercises of authority comes across. I also share the irritation you feel with being interrupted at work. When I get annoyed at the "service domination" thing, it is often because I'm working on something at home and she tells me to do something that interrupts my work activity.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-89393467753191335512019-02-02T09:32:55.263-08:002019-02-02T09:32:55.263-08:00Great list, ZM. Great list, ZM. Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-16061789555061362342019-02-02T09:32:05.721-08:002019-02-02T09:32:05.721-08:00That was exactly my problem with the media coverag...That was exactly my problem with the media coverage of that incident. I get that the media can and does make mistakes. Yet, as you say, many of them continued to spin the same narrative after it became crystal clear that it was false. And, none of them have been willing to come out and say that they the "elder" in question, simply lied in several of his interviews about everything from the way the incident took place to claiming to have served in Vietnam when he did not. Maddening.<br /><br />For some reason, I find her spanking you for being cranky when she comes home very interesting. I think a relatively newbie disciplinary wife turns that corner into a full-fledged disciplinarian when she starts spanking for that kind of thing -- something that you may not see as a problem but that has a negative impact on her own happiness.<br /><br />I totally get what you mean about DD failing in instances in which you don't see something as a real problem. Though, it sounds like that was sort of the situation with her coming home to a cranky husband, yet her commitment to DD cured you of that problem.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-73160948046935088002019-02-02T09:25:22.494-08:002019-02-02T09:25:22.494-08:00Elizabeth, that is an odd dynamic. Maybe it is th...Elizabeth, that is an odd dynamic. Maybe it is that being told not to be bad when you are, in fact, being bad is not as humbling. It is kind of a one-time thing in which you are doing something you know is wrong and your "better half" lets you know she is frustrated by it. It's not all that outside the norm. Checking in at work when you are not being bad signals a larger power shifting dynamic in which you are subservient to that "better half." I think it sends a very different, and more hierarchical, message.<br /><br />SR, good observations. Addiction and habits are just hard in general. And, also unpredictable. I was terribly addicted to cigarettes and tried over and over again to quit. Then, one day, I just went cold turkey and haven't had another one in 25 years. I woke up and just somehow knew that if I quit that day, I could do it. I have no idea why I was able to quit that day but failed in every previous effort.<br /><br />Anonymous, welcome.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-13842068524126544522019-02-02T06:54:41.405-08:002019-02-02T06:54:41.405-08:00I love that "Eternal Mother" phrase. It&...I love that "Eternal Mother" phrase. It's an undeniable characteristic of the feminine side of the equation of life. It's time to stop being amazed by it or consider it a new discovery. Female power and wisdom is built into this thing called life.<br /><br />That doesn't mean every single female is the embodiment of the higher manifestation of those things. But it does mean that they are wired for the potential for it.<br /><br />Frank invited "philosophers".Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-22172074457508080532019-02-02T01:13:49.642-08:002019-02-02T01:13:49.642-08:00This is Elizabeth's Frank. I gave my wife an a...This is Elizabeth's Frank. I gave my wife an answer to her question, and she asked I report it here. When she comes up to me at a party and takes a drink out of my hand and says "You are done, dear," with a smile and tone that will not be bucked, it touches something deep inside me. She calls it the eternal mother. I don't know exactly what that means, but I know that it feels like her authority is from something more than ourselves.<br /><br />I even think that those around me feel it. None of my friends has called her a B or teased me about it. They respect her for having the knowledge and the guts to cut me off. One friend said to me, "Wow, your wife knows how to use tough love." And I agree: It's the same authority she uses to swing the paddle, just exhibited verbally and publicly. In those moments, I would do anything she told me to do. I feel her mother power.<br /><br />The other situation is quite different. She is not there in person. I am at work, following a rule she has imposed, to call when I will be late. I have to stop what I am doing, often interrupting a meeting with several other guys. I feel embarrassed and childish. It's somehow a different kind of mother, a bossy ... <br /><br />The men around me feel it, too. They laugh and make comments, a totally different reaction than at the party. So it's not just me who feels the difference. It does not feel like the eternal mother.<br /><br />I know I'm not explaining the difference well. I don't really get it myself. Maybe Dan or some other philosophers on here can explain it better.<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-34169272641812932922019-02-01T09:30:59.243-08:002019-02-01T09:30:59.243-08:00I like your bullet list and I think every one is t...I like your bullet list and I think every one is true, but for me none of them would matter if the behavior itself did not dramatically improve. I am not wasting my time and energy disciplining him if he is not going to act better!<br />Elizabeth Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-81435622877592791002019-02-01T02:59:48.079-08:002019-02-01T02:59:48.079-08:00Hi again Dan,
And finally an a note on this weeks ...Hi again Dan,<br />And finally an a note on this weeks questions. DD is NOT just about changing behavior, and especially not just eradicating misbehavior, though that is one valid use for it. <br /><br />Other uses/benefits of DD that come to mind are:<br /><br />- a way of her venting her feelings, keeping from things turning into resentment or silence<br /><br />- a way of her communicating the depth of her feelings about something<br /><br />- motivating him to achieve goals, either his, hers, or mutual. For me this is a big one, because it shortens the event horizon to something I can actually care about<br /><br />- Improving attitude. This is not “behavior,” but it can hugely impact a relationship<br /><br />- Not necessarily stopping a behavior, but rather just keeping it in check<br /><br />- Providing a sense of closure and atonement for any wrongs<br /><br />I am very sensitive (probably too sensitive!) to any suggestion that DD must or should be done any certain way. By some standards, we probably get it wrong much of the time, yet DD is improving my life and strengthening my marriage as we currently practice it. So while I always want us to get better at everything, as we are currently doing it works quite well for us!<br /><br />-ZMBad_boy_G_punished_by_Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15062930835790875000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-89529813958666977112019-02-01T02:54:19.956-08:002019-02-01T02:54:19.956-08:00Hi Dan,
First about that article. I am not so con...Hi Dan,<br /><br />First about that article. I am not so concerned that they got it wrong; mistakes happen and everyone is always racing to get the scoop. What was simply outrageous was that that even when it became clear that they were wrong, they continued pushing the same story line! These kids are not public figures, thus the media has little or no protection from libel, so I sincerely HOPE that the media outlets involved get slammed with multi-million dollar lawsuits.<br /><br />I somewhat buy into the “fake media” thing. Not that the media completely makes things up, though they do blow many things way out of proportion to make compelling stories, but rather that many of the news stories today read more like what used to be on the opinion pages. We have lost the idea that it was the media’s job to fairly report the facts in a balanced manner and it is the peoples’ job to form their own opinions.<br /><br />Now, on to the questions:<br /><br />- What specific behaviors have you been spanked for where it worked and you changed the behavior?<br /><br />Perhaps the most significant of these was getting upset with her when she was out too long. I craved time alone, and so if she was out when we could have been alone, I would show my displeasure when she returned by giving her a cold shoulder. This resulted in her not enjoying what little time that she does get out with friends, because she got to look forward to coming home to a cranky husband. After a few punishment sessions for this, my behavior has changed.<br /><br />A lifelong habit that has changed has been me not washing my hands often or thoroughly enough. Interestingly I was never actually spanked for this, but she repeatedly threatened, and because anything involving DD gets so lodged in my head, it made me aware of the problem and I now wash my hands well and regularly. Had she not put this in the context of spanking, there is no chance that I would have changed, because I would have just tuned her out.<br /><br />- What specific behaviors have you been spanked for where you have yet to change the behavior?<br /><br />Maybe procrastination? I will write more about this later! ;-)<br /><br />- And what is your explanation for why spanking has worked for some and not others?<br /><br />DD works best for me when I genuinely desire to change. I want to be the best I can possibly and I want to be the husband my wife very much deserves. DD works for me not so much because I fear punishment, though my wife is now VERY proficient at giving fierce, painful, and long punishments as evidenced by my very sore (and surprisingly bruised) bottom today. Rather it is incredibly effective because it is such a strong form of communication and it speaks to me through my deepest fantasies. <br /><br />When DD doesn’t work, or doesn’t work quickly enough it is because either I don’t really agree that there is a real problem or I am too lazy to fix it. Also sometimes especially with deeply ingrained habits, we do them literally without thinking. I know you have expressed it sometimes works this way for you and alcohol. You can have a few more than you originally planned without conscious decision. I didn’t understand this until I was driving down the road one day and realized I had eaten the whole bag of gummy bears. I didn’t consciously think “should I or shouldn’t I have another?” but rather just kept eating without a single thought!<br /><br />-ZMBad_boy_G_punished_by_Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15062930835790875000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-84891847543274214892019-01-31T20:23:27.510-08:002019-01-31T20:23:27.510-08:00On the addiction comment...everything is resistant...On the addiction comment...everything is resistant to addiction. Addiction is about changing the cravings of the brain. Depending on the addiction it could be chemical or just some crossed wires. DD is able to help some people. I know in my case it has, but I also WANT TO CHANGE. This have given an outlet for both consequences and some differant chemicals in the brain in response se to the spanking.<br />With that said everybody is differant. Mine has been coupled with religious convictions and therapy. However, me and my wife agree that introducing boundaries and discipline via DD has made what I want to do actually a reality.<br /><br />Just my 2 cents.Somethingrandomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09191398018083341750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-2963289168346926072019-01-31T16:24:05.400-08:002019-01-31T16:24:05.400-08:00I absolutely don't care about who kwnow "...I absolutely don't care about who kwnow "who is in charge" . For us , it is a thing all our friends know about our way of living ! Not a shame, just a gift to them to live a better life. A loving gift. Spanking is the best issue we know, and it works ! Music share is another. After all, rythme is part of the big picture! We are spankers and spankees . It's a way of spreading our vision of life, being there for each other...and close friends !Courandairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16320060713300811033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-40745842872940934512019-01-31T09:30:41.526-08:002019-01-31T09:30:41.526-08:00Yes, Dan, you are right. Now he sneaks into the ba...Yes, Dan, you are right. Now he sneaks into the bathroom and calls me on his cell. He hated when he had to use the office phone before we hot cells! But he doesn't seem to mind when I cut him off alcohol very publicly at a party. So what is that about? When he's drinking too much and being a "bad boy" he doesn't mind me being bossy ... but when he is at work being a "good boy" doing his job, he does mind it? Hmmm ... what do you all think?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-51805039444985504882019-01-31T02:30:26.448-08:002019-01-31T02:30:26.448-08:00Hi Dan, Elizabeth and everyone here. In our case, ...Hi Dan, Elizabeth and everyone here. In our case, I completely stop drinking 3 years ago. It was not because our mutual DD agreement. It was because her sadness. So ,it worked ! I can assure you she is a terrific spanker, and me too ! But her fear of alcohol really did the trick. So I just stopped ! Please excuse me for my bad English, we're French Fan of your very good work since the beginning. Her name is Gourmandine, mine is Courandair . Thank tou for creating this great place. French kisses to everyone !Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-6540799798607463442019-01-30T21:01:58.786-08:002019-01-30T21:01:58.786-08:00Hi Elizabeth. I wonder if the reason DD works for...Hi Elizabeth. I wonder if the reason DD works for some addictions for some people comes down to whether the recipient also wants the change, and DD is just giving them that extra incentive? <br /><br />Isn't it interesting how much we want our wives to be in charge but don't want anyone to know we want our wives to be in charge?Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-24027165176005526622019-01-30T20:58:30.577-08:002019-01-30T20:58:30.577-08:00Thanks, Anonymous.Thanks, Anonymous.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-73542413864909816512019-01-30T20:56:32.625-08:002019-01-30T20:56:32.625-08:00Let us know how that works out for you!Let us know how that works out for you!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-33622988100085280572019-01-30T12:01:29.405-08:002019-01-30T12:01:29.405-08:00This is Elizabeth. It is interesting to me that DD...This is Elizabeth. It is interesting to me that DD has worked for some of you for smoking and drinking. I would think that addiction would be an area resistant to corporal punishment, as it is to most forms of "treatment."<br /><br />Regarding Frank's comments, I agree that a 90+ percent success rate such as with dishes means that my paddle is effective. At the same time, he will get spanked each and every time he forgets! And I am sure that is why he does the dishes 300 times a year!<br /><br />With such a success rate, I do not increase the punishment as I would for a behavior I am trying to completely stop. For years now he has gotten 10 swats for the dishes ... unless we are having company or some other extenuating circumstance.<br /><br />We did have one issue where he was really resistant and I am surprised he did not mention it: coming home late without calling. This was a biggie for me, but it kept happening and I kept increasing the punishment until he was getting more than a hundred swats just for that issue, and his bottom was black and blue from one week to the next. Finally he admitted that he was embarrassed to have to stop whatever he was doing at work and make a phone call to tell me that he was going to be late. He didn't want his co-workers to see him doing that. He saw it as a sign that he was "whipped." Which he was literally! I told him I didn't care whether he was embarrassed to do it, that he needed to do it anyway. I think that was the one issue were we had our greatest disagreement about the use of domestic discipline. But I held firm and swung hard, and eventually he capitulated. Now he calls me each and every time he is going to be late. And I am a happy wife! <br />ElizabethAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-29627406406689938572019-01-29T23:32:34.151-08:002019-01-29T23:32:34.151-08:00Hmm. Not sure what any of this has to do with anyt...Hmm. Not sure what any of this has to do with anything . . . but . . . whateverDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-36693574011499279302019-01-29T16:20:40.487-08:002019-01-29T16:20:40.487-08:00I have stropped smoking, limited my drinking , and...I have stropped smoking, limited my drinking , and corrected many bad habits as a result of DD. I still screw up losing my temper occasionally saying things I know were not thoughtful, but when I do I get a punishing paddling, and try not to do it again. I am much more conscious of not repeating that behavior, at least for a long time after the spanking is over. I think DD works only if the husband wants to change and improve. I also believe the spanking must be a very painful event or the behavior won't improve. I don't enjoy being paddled one bit, but when I screw up I need that paddling to pay a price for my misbehavior and feel better about myself for having taken it. It ends the friction between us and balances the power in our relationship. After 30 years we still carry on as we both believe our marriage is all the better for having DD inour lives.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-66049820983304671912019-01-29T10:52:46.413-08:002019-01-29T10:52:46.413-08:00Let's be honest, I might be inclined to enter ...Let's be honest, I might be inclined to enter in to such an arrangement but that would be more because of my kink than using it control habits.<br /><br />We are adults, not willful boys trying to hurt our mates. Check out "Atomic Habits" by James Clear, (best and most practical of the current crop of 'habits' books).<br /><br />That said, there was that threatened me with a beating now and again...<br /><br />clev_Tom Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com