tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post5934065148957488046..comments2024-03-28T21:45:05.911-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Forum - Vol. 70Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-34926016855418612232015-02-14T16:01:01.345-08:002015-02-14T16:01:01.345-08:00TB, thanks so much for sharing this! This is some...TB, thanks so much for sharing this! This is something I am really hoping will happen for us, and I'm glad to hear it was a positve experience for you. "It was extraordinary like a dam burst." That is the catharsis that I think would be so good for me to experience.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-23253793550720233112015-02-14T08:21:42.704-08:002015-02-14T08:21:42.704-08:00Dan, hi and I don't know if you pick up old co...Dan, hi and I don't know if you pick up old comments but here goes anyway. We are on a DD journey in our long term marriage which started a few years ago with relatively easy beatings but with feedback from me and growing confidence from her is now reaching the point where I am genuinely trying to avoid a session. Which is exactly where both of us want it to be. I love the thought and the memory but hate the actual spanking. She knows that and drags out the scolding with me slowly being ordered to undress and get into position. I have had wet eyes but have never cried, even as the severity and duration have increased. However after a few days where I have been bad tempered and rude I was finally taken to task last night. Although she dragged out the preamble for ages once she started with the wooden paddle it was hard from the start, fast and sustained. Normally I get a warm up. Last night was fierce from the get go - she definitely meant business. I have never felt such pain and yes I cried. For the first time. It was extraordinary like a dam burst. We were both so surprised that she stopped for a couple of minutes. When she started again I was more in control and the punishment proceeded as normal. But I know that she was pleased with the initial response and I suspect that she will be trying for that effect again. I feel like I went through another barrier. My tender bits have been humming all night. Just thought I'd share.<br />TB Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-23999351297383438092014-12-20T13:38:23.114-08:002014-12-20T13:38:23.114-08:00My (late) first wife had taught me to unquestionin...My (late) first wife had taught me to unquestioningly accept her authority (and her privilege to discipline me as needed) even before our wedding, and when I re-married after her untimely death, no further "breaking" was required - especially because the woman I would later marry had already watched me - being one of my late wife's closest friends - getting a couple of (well-deserved) spankings...<br />Both of them have expected me to defer to their authority, and to submit to whatever form of punishment seems fit for any misbehavior on my part - and both are (or were) equally stern when it comes to "pay up time"! No tears, most times, but plenty of squeals - and the frequent shame of having to serve a spell of bare-bottomed "corner time" afterwards ! <br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-15320845313062735362014-12-19T08:35:28.219-08:002014-12-19T08:35:28.219-08:00My wife has ordered me to write today. I cant tell...My wife has ordered me to write today. I cant tell you how much reading these words from other men who are in the same place that I am has helped me. I find the tears come when I submit daily to her will. My tears came when I finally realized that I was being punished for breaking a promise, or a vow to her. As I was being punished that day I felt her disappointment and was filled with remorse. It reminded me of my own disappointment when one of my kids forces me<br />to take drastic measures. Dan I think you are there and if tears dont come dont worry. True<br />remorse means more to my wife than two buckets of tears.<br />a grateful husbandAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-32405152164633711432014-12-17T18:35:08.489-08:002014-12-17T18:35:08.489-08:00Hi RM. What you describe is where my wife increas...Hi RM. What you describe is where my wife increasingly is going, delited in her new power and authority.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-22591130788806841462014-12-17T18:32:56.905-08:002014-12-17T18:32:56.905-08:00Hi Fred. We tried that once, and there was arelat...Hi Fred. We tried that once, and there was arelatively negative reaction to the whole concept of "breaking." For me, it might be defined as being pushed hard enough--whether through the paddling, the lecture or anything else--that it overcomes your resistance to letting go emotionally. I think some people are just naturally more open, and others of us just naturally more locked down.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-49365849376959325462014-12-17T18:30:13.554-08:002014-12-17T18:30:13.554-08:00Thanks Anonymous. I agree, Alan. Thanks Anonymous. I agree, Alan. Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-1809741811399988162014-12-17T18:29:10.686-08:002014-12-17T18:29:10.686-08:00Thanks Sub Hub. Beyond the theshold is where I can...Thanks Sub Hub. Beyond the theshold is where I can't quite seem to go. Right up to it, but not beyond.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-36306533996721451572014-12-17T18:28:04.683-08:002014-12-17T18:28:04.683-08:00Hi Anna. Great to hear from you. I think you'...Hi Anna. Great to hear from you. I think you're right that pacing is very important.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-13624323514054024642014-12-16T15:41:57.767-08:002014-12-16T15:41:57.767-08:00
Well, as I posed the original question to Dan, I ...<br />Well, as I posed the original question to Dan, I thought I’d better respond.<br /><br />I’ve not cried during punishment – yet – but I’ve been close and one time recently was whimpering on the verge of tears. Mistress found it difficult to cope with that and snapped at me to ‘stop the silly whimpering immediately.’ I was equally embarrassed and had been fighting back the tears in the final few strokes of the punishment to try and avoid the imminent flood – even though it was a release I so desperately have craved for some time.<br /><br />As far as surrendering to Mistress’ authority, I find that a very uplifting experience. I always feel added respect towards her – or should I say it reinforces my respect.<br /><br />I always worried that Mistress would gradually lose respect from someone who has a fetish for wearing rubber or pvc wear and wants to experience corporal punishment. I clearly underestimated her love for me. <br /><br />Was there any fear or anxiety when Mistress finally discovered how to get me to surrender? Yes, I have to admit there was. Fear of her severe punishment is something I’ve talked about before. But there’s also the anxiety of knowing I never manage to quite live up to her strict expectations.<br /><br />And finally, I think Mistress is delighted in the effect the cane has on me – and how she has been able to unleash a kind of power and authority she really didn’t know she had. But she is also able to ‘mother’ me – a term she used to describe her feelings of want to show me affection after she’s caned me particularly hard and seen the effect it’s had on me. <br />Respecting Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00283458872041706615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-3571402516632374192014-12-16T14:31:07.986-08:002014-12-16T14:31:07.986-08:00I don't understand the need for a wife to brea...I don't understand the need for a wife to break her husband nor do I really understand what doing so really means. I entered into a DD relationship where my bad and inconsiderate behavior needed correction for our marriage to make it. I understood I was at fault and needed to improve. Those issues were discussed as well as health, chores and safety. Boundaries were set and agreed to by both of us, and my wife agreed to apply an appropriate dose of corporal punishment (with a sorority paddle, over the knee paddle and a thick strap bought from London Tanners) whenever I broke those boundaries. She grew into the job of spanking effectively after reading Better Spouses, DWC info and stories, and the Spencer Spanking Plan amongst others. <br /> The important point to note is our DD arrangement involved things we agreed to make subject to spankings as they were amended as needed from time to time - but always by mutual agreement. We did not agree to humiliation (other than the spanking itself), corner time, lines or things like that. My wife learned to deliver plenty of pain with her spankings so that I truly wanted to avoid them by correcting the issues that caused them (and it did, over time, correct my behavior to the point our relationship improved immensely for both of us and it rekindled love as well) I rarely get spanked anymore because, for the most part, I'm treating my wife as she wants to be treated and have become the husband she could love again. But if and when I do screw up, my wife won't hesitate to straighten me out. Her objective is not to break me but to make sure I learn from my mistakes and improve and painful corporate punishment has worked for us standing alone. My attitude to want to be a better husband may be an important part of the reason it has worked for us as well..<br /> Outside of behavior, a fair apportionment of chores, health and safety, my wife prefers I make the decisions on most other things (financial security, budgets, buying big ticket items, relocation, vacations, etc.) after consulting with her. She doesn't want to have that responsibility. On social activities I almost always go along with my wife because she is better at it than I am anyway, but if I did say no, she would accept that. So we are definitely not in a FLR, but we are in a DD relationship. In the process we practice nobody needs to be broken for it to work. <br /> I realize that many of you find it beneficial to do things in your own way and I respect that we all have different ways to function in our relationships with out wives that work. Maybe I don't understand what being broken means within that context or why it is even necessary. I have never considered myself broken, but I certainly cede power to my wife without question on enforcing the boundaries we have established as she sees fit. Perhaps it would be wise to address what broken means and why it is necessary in future discussions.<br /><br />Fred<br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-74509220710951365802014-12-16T11:47:07.356-08:002014-12-16T11:47:07.356-08:00Excellent description of where every naughty boy n...Excellent description of where every naughty boy needs to go. I think this mental/emotional state combined with effective scolding ( before or during the spanking) is much more important than the severity of the corporal punishment.Our wives do a big part of it when they firmly take charge but we have to truly surrender to her authority and the punishment she is administering. That's when the tears flow.<br />Alan Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-49366619351529939042014-12-16T09:30:16.166-08:002014-12-16T09:30:16.166-08:00That was an excellent description of what Mistress...That was an excellent description of what Mistress K and intend to achieve. What we are working for and we believe we are getting there sub hub in phxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17489169642204094414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-14533187650350265432014-12-16T09:20:02.851-08:002014-12-16T09:20:02.851-08:00The key for me is the idea of surrendering to my w...The key for me is the idea of surrendering to my wife’s authority and the discipline that she delivers. I am physically, mentally and emotionally hers. Once I am in that state, I accept my punishment 100% and do not even anticipate when the spanking will end. I know she has full control and it is at her discretion when she feels I have been properly punished. Part of her resolve is how I am reacting both physically (reddening bottom) and emotionally – sincerity of my admitting wrong doing and eventually sobbing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-60954009066119648462014-12-16T05:18:35.137-08:002014-12-16T05:18:35.137-08:00What an incredibly beautiful way to put it anna!What an incredibly beautiful way to put it anna!sub hub in phxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17489169642204094414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-26042051956784220902014-12-16T05:17:27.128-08:002014-12-16T05:17:27.128-08:00Dan,
A very interesting topic (sub-topic if you w...Dan,<br /><br />A very interesting topic (sub-topic if you will). I admit that usually my spankings are much lighter than what I probably deserve. Mistress K. has a soft heart and although she very much wants to instill the obviously required discipline that she might be meting out at any given time, she also has a soft heart and really doesn't like to see anyone suffer, including her ill-behaving submissive husband. There have a couple of occasions though when she had no interest in my "feedback" while she was spanking me and at the those took me to a place I hadn't been before. It matter how hard or where the paddle landed, I somehow was resolved to just take and not react in such a way that would indicate that it hurt like hell! Eventually there would've been tears but she stopped before that could happen, but I felt what was like to be beyond the threshold. sub hub in phxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17489169642204094414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-64916130542047242602014-12-15T17:21:20.681-08:002014-12-15T17:21:20.681-08:00Dan
I think when I first began spanking Peter, I ...Dan<br /> I think when I first began spanking Peter, I was so afraid of hurting him and I tended to rush the <br />discipline. To remind you I at one point when I discovered Peter had gone to a professional woman who spanks only men. I went to see this woman who I shall address as Ms X. She gave me pointers about how and where to use various things such as belt, paddle, caning, etc. She <br />showed me the "Safe areas" that the human body can take abuse and not cause injury. She also<br />taught me how to pace the session with Peter. At the start I tended to want to hit hard and fast to get it over with. <br />Tears became a reward. But more important than tears is our time after when I feel the joy that <br />spanking has given me. The joy of finally having a husband who shares his emotional needs.<br />A husband who trusts me enough to be who he is and who from time to time shows me the <br />boy in him that needs a firm hand.<br />anna<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-44937009102076437162014-12-15T15:47:58.595-08:002014-12-15T15:47:58.595-08:00True. And let me tell you, Dan, even though Rosa i...True. And let me tell you, Dan, even though Rosa is pretty darned confident, she is also not 100% 'there'. Last night we had a long talk about how a comment she made that she sometimes holds back on certain things she wants to say for fear of my reaction. It stunned me! I never thought she was holding back and I certainly didn't think she was fearful of me since she has often punished me for snippy comments or disrespect. So we talked and she admitted that she is pretty close to where she wants to be but, as a normal human, still isn't looking to ruin what we have by pushing too hard. So.......I just told her that she should not be afraid and to use her authority as she sees fit.<br /><br />Honest to goodness, not 2 hours later she called me to show where she tripped over a box I had carelessly tossed in an end room. She was upset but not angry and told me to go to our room for punishment. She lectured then gave a very hard but fairly short spanking to make her points stick.<br /><br />Afterwards we discussed this and she admitted that our earlier talk had helped and she feels she benefits from my occasional reinforcing feedback when I appreciate her confidently taking charge. <br /><br />It's still a journey.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-70063828082304581722014-12-14T18:13:02.600-08:002014-12-14T18:13:02.600-08:00Hi Fabricater. Welcome to the Forum. Thanks for t...Hi Fabricater. Welcome to the Forum. Thanks for the comments!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-8888730127769528322014-12-14T15:29:05.461-08:002014-12-14T15:29:05.461-08:00I am new here.I never cry or come close to it.My w...I am new here.I never cry or come close to it.My wife did not like to spank me at 1st,and did not spank hard.As she began to see that it made a huge differents in me and how I treated her as well as get comfortable with spanking,she began to deliver a much harder spanking.My wife will now take me to what I consider complete surrender.This does take a while for me to get there,I am now restrained across the bed so I am limited on how much I can move .this was my idea as I had feelings of standing up and resisting ,and know that's not what I want to do.I have never done that,just wanted to.Now I have to take what ever she hands out ,and she does not stop until after I have surrendered to her and the spanking.This is when I know longer resist and lay completely still without flinching as each stroke is delivered.fabricaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06331565716085469323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-60659598932468290552014-12-14T12:02:45.180-08:002014-12-14T12:02:45.180-08:00Hi again Alan. I totally get that. It was why I ...Hi again Alan. I totally get that. It was why I suggested in a previous post that I thought being restrained during a spanking might help me, because it would help get through to mind that even if I wanted to to try to stand up and bring things to an end, I would not be physically able to. I think the lack of an exit plan might help me capitulate to the inevitability. I wholly agree that "trying to bear it" or "take it like a man" is a major contributor to the inability to reach the crying stage.<br /><br />I received a well-deserved punishment spanking last night. From the beginning, instead of trying to avoid, ignore or "bear" the pain, I tried to really feel each stroke and to let any reaction to it just come out. I didn't cry, but I did feel a deeper sense of surrender and "letting go."Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-89696188564660949972014-12-14T11:52:14.968-08:002014-12-14T11:52:14.968-08:00I am struggling to explain this but " letting...I am struggling to explain this but " letting go" and " trying to bear it" are opposite things. If I am able to let go during a spanking whether crying happens or not there is an end to resistance and I physically and emotionally offer my bottom to my wife without any limits on what she can do with it. Also she likes it when I have let go and raise my bum just and inch or two to the bath brush. This never happens before 5 minutes or so into the spanking and it seems to be a powerful symbol for her. She doesn't necessarily stop at that point but she knows her message has been delivered and received. The natural thing to do when you are spanked is to clench, try to hold on, and get through it. But its not the right thing to do if surrender is the goal. What works for me is concentrating from the beginning at letting go physically and emotionally .<br /><br />Alan Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-10353994915651745412014-12-14T10:09:54.487-08:002014-12-14T10:09:54.487-08:00Hi Alan. What you describe is exactly what happens...Hi Alan. What you describe is exactly what happens with me, and I just hope I can get to that threshold. It's why I've told my wife that the duration of the spanking is important. I'm usually trying to surrender, but I'm also just trying to bear it until it ends. I think if I was at that point of not being able to take it much more, but knew there was likely far more to come, it might help me finally let go. <br /><br />I don't have a problem with the word "broken." In this context, it' isn't about donig some kind of psychological damage. It's about breaking resistance and disobedience. It's analogous to "breaking" a colt to made it a ride-able horse.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-27409484848339467352014-12-14T10:03:16.592-08:002014-12-14T10:03:16.592-08:00What you describe is very close tow where our DD r...What you describe is very close tow where our DD relationship stands. Her spankings regularly leave me bruised and battered. Yet, I just can't cross the line into tears. That doesnt mean we don't get the salutary after effects you descirbe. We do. It wold just be nice to be able to get to what I think for me would be a deeper state of surender.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-46044847664603821612014-12-14T10:00:01.356-08:002014-12-14T10:00:01.356-08:00Hi Anonymous. Thanks for contributing and I hope ...Hi Anonymous. Thanks for contributing and I hope you'll join us again in the future. I think a lot of us would like to be able to cross that threshold into a sobbing release, and I envy those of you who can.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com