tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post5899112159111189301..comments2024-03-28T21:45:05.911-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Forum - Vol. 132 - Undeserved PunishmentDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-29698761088267943982016-04-24T15:52:45.668-07:002016-04-24T15:52:45.668-07:00I am sure your derrière does :-)
J.I am sure your derrière does :-)<br /><br />J.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-6329970365689458012016-04-22T08:00:48.769-07:002016-04-22T08:00:48.769-07:00Agreed. It's not my favorite western ever (th...Agreed. It's not my favorite western ever (that honor still goes to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid), but it is way up there.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-87164589393877384782016-04-22T07:49:47.741-07:002016-04-22T07:49:47.741-07:00When we're out in public, I'm even more in...When we're out in public, I'm even more in charge, if that's possible. Husband is a quiet person by nature, and I'm not. So, one of his rules is that I order for him, he's not to talk to waitstaff. So, he doesn't even make eye contact. Most of the waitstaff respect it...some even fall to discussing him with me, and I love that. <br /><br />The only thing in public he takes care of is filling my car with gas, which he handles. But that doesn't really involve dealing with people. <br /><br />Husband is definitely a big, weight lifting kind of guy...but he's also the submissive our relationship...for now. Still 2 more months to go of our trial. It's been a six month trial. <br /><br />GinaGinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01296558743353138844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-7484679992598372722016-04-22T07:14:56.952-07:002016-04-22T07:14:56.952-07:00Nothing really to do with disciplined or having it...Nothing really to do with disciplined or having it coming, but reading this blog and comments prompted husband and I to dig through all of the bargain videos at Walmart in the bin the other night in search of Unforgiven (The internet told us they had it "in stock') I won, and found it at last for $5. We watched it a few nights ago and remembered what a great movie it was. Sorry...off topic. Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01296558743353138844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-56254017421941888362016-04-16T09:45:50.229-07:002016-04-16T09:45:50.229-07:00... and I recognize the difference between the two...... and I recognize the difference between the two !<br /><br />L.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-43972347053482469542016-04-16T05:19:26.527-07:002016-04-16T05:19:26.527-07:00Thank you. That's sound advice. Actually, we...Thank you. That's sound advice. Actually, we may be part way there. She's spanking me a fair amount (because I like it too). So, if the spanking part is the embarrassing feature, that horse is way out of the barn. Last night she remarked that my pain tolerance was pretty high because I was knowingly pushed her a bit to go harder.<br /><br />We used to say that she's in charge in the house, and I'm in charge outside of the house. It was kind of in jest, but it was also kind of true. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I'm a pretty big, alpha male kind of guy, and she's had some really bad and extremely dangerous life experiences. So, I think she likes feeling of security and safety when I take charge when were out. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-51704668554372680242016-04-16T05:03:12.845-07:002016-04-16T05:03:12.845-07:00Great, i hope you do! There are many different arr...Great, i hope you do! There are many different arrangements. Certainly you'll find one that can work! bobAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-14440634308125250492016-04-16T05:00:27.192-07:002016-04-16T05:00:27.192-07:00Your Wife sounds wonderful! Yes, the Women are pre...Your Wife sounds wonderful! Yes, the Women are pretty much in control anyway. My Wife is great, and understanding even too. There are only a few times when She took FLR well beyond my comfort zone, like just going out and buying a new car She wanted one day (not shopping around was my complaint, really). i was unhappy, but nothing i could do. bobAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-15387732946837899832016-04-16T04:54:44.064-07:002016-04-16T04:54:44.064-07:00I too love the simple way you say it, the before a...I too love the simple way you say it, the before and after are great. :)<br />bobAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-55059924586670120382016-04-15T22:44:56.208-07:002016-04-15T22:44:56.208-07:00Anonymous,
She doesn't have to be in charge ...Anonymous, <br /><br />She doesn't have to be in charge of everything, just what she considers important; which is usually what guys don't care about- external relationships. My daughter got me a Father Day's card that said, "Do I look like people person?" I believe that the most important part of a FLR is communication. I found out that my wife really likes to get her way (just because) and she learned that humiliation will send me into throwing hand grenades (because I can). There was a blog that said, there are no rules, just desires. <br /><br />If I may make a recommendation, start buy finding a time to talk. In my case it was when we are going to sleep. Do NOT lie, but walk that dog really slow. If she wants to challenge you, do NOT get defensive. Bare your soul- in time. But if she pushes, then tell the truth- "I am telling you the most embarrassing feature of who I am." If she uses it against you, well, you have problems that have nothing to do with FLR.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-19775500863292071282016-04-15T19:48:07.240-07:002016-04-15T19:48:07.240-07:00Lots of great observations in this. Thanks for sha...Lots of great observations in this. Thanks for sharing.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-27968476247319902052016-04-15T19:43:56.425-07:002016-04-15T19:43:56.425-07:00Thanks, iruser. "Caught" wasn't rea...Thanks, iruser. "Caught" wasn't really meant to convey a game or fun but, rather, that the person was not really doing whatever the wife thought she caught.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-31973177577444739312016-04-15T19:41:16.591-07:002016-04-15T19:41:16.591-07:00Rolling of the eyes is definitely deserving, and s...Rolling of the eyes is definitely deserving, and something I do way too often.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-3748564149751351322016-04-15T19:39:39.094-07:002016-04-15T19:39:39.094-07:00Thanks, guys. I was out a lot this week and not mu...Thanks, guys. I was out a lot this week and not much help in carrying on the conversation.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-58766543579586879782016-04-15T19:37:06.312-07:002016-04-15T19:37:06.312-07:00"Deserved" or "needed" is a gr..."Deserved" or "needed" is a great way to put it.<br /><br />DanDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-73134273809076663622016-04-15T17:29:39.903-07:002016-04-15T17:29:39.903-07:00By "that ability to lead" I meant she do...By "that ability to lead" I meant she doesn't have the ability to do it completely unilaterally and autocratically. She could run is into bankruptcy and other difficulties without some kind of oversight and veto power from me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-20294154744480680742016-04-15T17:25:03.006-07:002016-04-15T17:25:03.006-07:00I guess good accountants aren't always good mo...I guess good accountants aren't always good money managers!<br /><br />Really, thanks for sharing your story. I've become very interested in FLR-DD, but the way it's typically practiced is too harsh for me, and my wife does not have that kind of ability to lead. However, your story makes me think we can somehow implement aspects of it and really enjoy it. <br /><br />I'm really big on humor. No hurricanes, but last year I was cracking the hospital staff up when I had my heart attack. I say laugh through everything you can. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-38076334023864344572016-04-15T15:57:30.707-07:002016-04-15T15:57:30.707-07:00You are welcome.
My wife would never accept the...You are welcome. <br /><br />My wife would never accept the standard FLR that you read on most blogs. Why? Because she said so- that is why. She likes the control, but not the responsibility (Yes, I got her to admit it a night after a spanking.). It makes sense, she has enough trouble controlling the kids. Why would she want to control me? But she likes to get her way. Also, I don't think I could handle a standard "mod 1 FLR," because I'm not that submissive- but I do need oversight.<br /><br />Her family nickname was "Your Highness," but she is very kind, truly a nice person, and fights fair. She is also very anal- the has a list for everything and balances the checkbook out to the penny. And very serious- VERY serious. I accused her of marrying me, so she wouldn't get worry lines. And she did not disagree. <br /><br />Me- I'm laid back, it's not serious unless someone is going to the hospital. For instance: we moved to the south just in time for Hurricane Floyd to roll over us. A tree limb went through the roof in the early moments and I told my wife (who was seeking an interior room) that she finally got the sky light she always wanted. In a very loud (some would say yelling, but I am hard of hearing) and emotional tone she said, "Only you would joke during a hurricane!" Of course I had to reply- "Do you want to whine, or should I get some wine." Yeah, it was cheesy, but it worked. She started laughing and said, "wine and chocolate." I tend to seek the unknown- My parents elected me to be the child "most likely to die before graduating from college." Do you think I got my sense of humor by nature or nurture?<br /><br />Additionally, in most relationships the woman is already in charge. How many men have decided that the spare bedroom needed to be painted and how many men have painted the spare bedroom? So we have only formalized what existed before- and I get to be spanked. <br /><br />She does ask from time to time whether it bothers me that she makes most of the decisions. My standard reply is "why would I want to make decisions- that requires buy-in, negotiation, and "Your Highness" likes to get her way. So why would I want to work at making her mad and disgruntled, when I can find much more easier and imaginative ways." And I don't care. I have picked exactly one piece of furniture. Yep, you guessed it- my chair. A beautiful Queen Anne recliner that is made of walnut and covered in silk (If made of the right kind of silk, it wears like iron.). It was ghastly expensive, but very comfortable and still looks very attractive many years after its original purchase. Unlike most manly furniture purchases, it draws very positive comments.<br /><br />Our FLR is different. She makes almost all decisions, but I have veto power. For instance, she has to know how many pennies are in the checking account, but she doesn't hesitate to run it down to zero. So we just use our strengths to build up the other. And I guess that is why it works, we both get what we want (did I mention spanking), it makes us closer, and we are much better together than apart. Once, My son told us at the dinner table that when one of us dies, he is going to have to shoot the other one, because he could not imagine only one of us. My wife immediately got a horrified look on her face and I started laughing. My wife got mad and said "That is horrible! Why are you laughing?" My reply, "Just more proof that we don't need a DNA test." She got a shocked look on her face and then stated laughing. Oh yeah, later I was REALLY spanked for that comment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-47990248820764736192016-04-15T10:54:08.720-07:002016-04-15T10:54:08.720-07:00This is to bob, above
What you say makes me think ...This is to bob, above<br />What you say makes me think that the times I have been spanked resisting ( a few probably not deserved and more I wasn't in the mood), those times have really been defining moments in our DD when both of us realized she really was in charge and I couldn't or wouldn't disobey her about spanking <br />AlanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-43646927682124952702016-04-15T09:42:06.302-07:002016-04-15T09:42:06.302-07:00I suppose if it's a game we might want to be c...I suppose if it's a game we might want to be caught and we have some of that in silly things like mild cussing and not putting the toilet seat down.But she is very serious about masturbation so I sure don't want caught. I think it happened only once when she walked in on me masturbating in front of the computer after coming home early.That is to this day one of the most embarrassing events of my life and I never plan to repeat it.<br />Ed Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-46823848846269675782016-04-15T09:31:51.770-07:002016-04-15T09:31:51.770-07:00Agreed. The during can be so awful. The before and...Agreed. The during can be so awful. The before and after re terrific. irusernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-56373483692142405122016-04-15T09:29:03.725-07:002016-04-15T09:29:03.725-07:00HI Ed
Masturbation is not controlled per se. More...HI Ed<br /><br />Masturbation is not controlled per se. More my arousal and possibly subsequent climax. <br /><br />It's more an honor thing. I'm trusted to keep it under control. Of course reading sites like this does not help. <br /><br />If I get aroused when she does not want it is certainly an infraction. Thinking about the ocean helps me lose the arousal. Sometimes a cold shower is called for. She likes putting snow down my pants in winter. That's awful to endure. <br /><br />HI Bob <br /><br />Yes I've been caught. Certainly a huge temptation. A huge risk given the consequences. <br /><br />But be honest we want to be caught right ?<br /><br />irusernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-25186060171073242792016-04-15T09:11:09.746-07:002016-04-15T09:11:09.746-07:00Thank you!! That is by far the coolest and happie...Thank you!! That is by far the coolest and happiest FLR arrangement I've encountered. I may poach some of that. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-45971257697337812802016-04-15T07:35:49.888-07:002016-04-15T07:35:49.888-07:00I have been punished unfairly but only a couple of...I have been punished unfairly but only a couple of times over more than 20 years, really more misunderstandings where she reacted faster than she should have and not a problem in our relationship. Getting accused and spanked unfairly for masturbation would be a problem for me because both of us have been very honest about it. I left a note below about how my wife handles that when it happens<br />EdAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-63414733958029970782016-04-14T14:54:42.212-07:002016-04-14T14:54:42.212-07:00I have been spanked for doing or not doing what I ...I have been spanked for doing or not doing what I was supposed to do. For instance, the neighbor forgot to take out the trash and he traded his trash can for ours after the trash truck came by. So my wife spanked me for not taking the trash can out to the street.<br /><br />But finding false blame is normal. It happens in all walks of life; whether it is raising children or determining who screwed up in the work place.<br /><br />It is not the spanking that bothers me. It is the false blame that is placed on me. I like being spanked. Rather I like the before and after being spanked. The actual spanking is usually very unpleasant. But our agreement covers this. If she wants to spank me, she can- no disagreement and she doesn't even have to tell me why when it occurs. But the night after a spanking, we discuss what happened and how the spanking went. That is my time to explain. We have this discussion as equals, she cannot play "the mistress is always right," nor can she treat it like an inquisition. Since emotions have cooled, it is easily handled. Additionally, since I get spanked for things that most husbands would get a dirty look for, it is hard to be too emotionally invested in. <br /><br />Since I get spanked regardless of what happened, there is little reason to lie.<br /><br />Which brings up one of the things that I really like about FLR- communication. I have to express my feelings (that sometimes sucks) and thoughts and she cannot say "nothing is wrong".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com