tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post5321547208658363549..comments2024-03-28T04:25:54.324-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Club - Meeting #367 - Others, continuedDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-10392922234026057422021-02-26T10:54:11.192-08:002021-02-26T10:54:11.192-08:00Well ... since to my understanding you live in Cal...Well ... since to my understanding you live in California now and we are thousands of miles away, I think an expanded friendship is unlikely ... and I would rather save myself the embarrassment, so I ain't giving no more identifying details!<br />LizAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-44341728959999239612021-02-26T10:50:52.562-08:002021-02-26T10:50:52.562-08:00ZM,
I agree. I don't want people at Art's ...ZM,<br />I agree. I don't want people at Art's work to know that I spank him. But I wouldn't mind them knowing that telling me about his arrogance at work gets him "in trouble" with his wife (whatever that means). I definitely would paddle him for it if it was bad enough for a co-worker to tell me about, but they would never know that and would probably take it as all a big joke. I see that as a win-win-win-win: They get a less arrogant co-worker, I get a less arrogant husband, Art wants to be less arrogant, and our DD is still a secret. The only "loser" is his sore behind.<br />Liz<br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-36683449601463238082021-02-26T08:57:16.803-08:002021-02-26T08:57:16.803-08:00I feel like ZM on this one. While I am attracted ...I feel like ZM on this one. While I am attracted to others knowing, my parents or siblings aren't on the list. My mother is pretty tolerant for someone of her generation, but I still don't have any desire for her to know about that aspect of my life. I think my dad would be, at best, very perplexed by the whole thing and very well might look down on it. Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-51672855011225392552021-02-26T08:19:22.290-08:002021-02-26T08:19:22.290-08:00Believe me, I always wonder if I will publish some...Believe me, I always wonder if I will publish something here that gives someone who knows me an "aha!" moment, resulting in either a lot of embarrassment or a much expanded friendship.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-11089940259579761602021-02-26T08:05:58.705-08:002021-02-26T08:05:58.705-08:00Wow, it's a small world! If I find out I grew ...Wow, it's a small world! If I find out I grew up near you and we have relatives who know each other, I'll blush to the brown roots of my blonde hair after the things I've shared here!<br />LizAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-56066802618438672852021-02-26T08:05:10.849-08:002021-02-26T08:05:10.849-08:00Hi Alan, Dan, KD, and Danielle,
I think that the s...Hi Alan, Dan, KD, and Danielle,<br />I think that the story, as well as the discussion above about the difference between having a male vs a female witness, showed me one of my motivations for having someone know or as a witness. It is the whole power dynamic. If someone knows that you are spanked, or if someone sees you spanked, then there is a power imbalance there. And much of the appeal of spanking/DD/punishment for me is the whole rebalancing (and in fact temporarily unbalancing in the opposite direction) of power.<br /><br />-ZMBad_boy_G_punished_by_Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15062930835790875000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-21000678412561703492021-02-26T08:02:21.322-08:002021-02-26T08:02:21.322-08:00Yea, well my mother initiated our DD with a commen...Yea, well my mother initiated our DD with a comment to Art that he presented to me. He didn't want her to know we had actually started doing it, but I was driven to find out about my parents' DD and so told her about ours to get her talking. I told him ahead of time I was going to talk to her and he didn't really like the idea but he didn't say no way, either. I wouldn't have said anything to his parents if they were alive. And I have no plans to tell anyone else. If I did get someone at his work to report to me like you may possibly have, I definitely wouldn't tell them about the paddle. But everybody knows he has a mouth on him, and all of us wish he didn't. To me, that's on him if we gang up on him a bit to get him to quell the sarcasm.<br />LizAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-81580369352085299212021-02-26T07:58:57.138-08:002021-02-26T07:58:57.138-08:00Hi Liz,
I am not sure that it impacts me all that ...Hi Liz,<br />I am not sure that it impacts me all that much since I think that they are mostly just joking and even if they did tell her, they probably wouldn't tend to make it too big of a deal. On the other hand, I am not sure just how that would play out. I do think it is certainly possible they might tell my wife things when she comes for coffee, but probably would never contact her explicitly to tell. <br /><br />How my wife would respond would probably have a lot to do with how she reads their emotions (like are they just having fun and joking, or is there some hidden bad feelings from it) as well as how it ties into her own observations when I am not at work. So, for example, if my wife and I were working on me being more on time, and if they tell her that I am never on time and late to everything, I could see her acting on that.<br /><br />Either way, even if they knew that I was "in trouble" with my wife, I hope they wouldn't figure out that I was spanked!<br /><br />-ZMBad_boy_G_punished_by_Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15062930835790875000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-42934291777539193552021-02-26T07:54:01.513-08:002021-02-26T07:54:01.513-08:00Oops, yea, I read it wrong. For ZM.
LizOops, yea, I read it wrong. For ZM.<br />LizAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-75171983700692965042021-02-26T07:51:23.127-08:002021-02-26T07:51:23.127-08:00We had a huge amount of forest service land and a ...We had a huge amount of forest service land and a lot of people still working in the woods back then. It was dangerous work, and you had to rely on your fellow man, regardless of his color. I think that made a difference in our area. <br />My brothers got in fights, but it was invariably with other white guys, in my memory, usually over some girl, of course.<br />We did have neighborhoods in the towns that were pretty segregated, and you didn't go there unless you were with somebody who lived there.<br />I don't recall feeling in danger, though. Maybe as a girl I was a bit naive.<br />LizAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-35374299218546818262021-02-26T07:51:03.172-08:002021-02-26T07:51:03.172-08:00Hi Liz,
Your explanation makes sense about being c...Hi Liz,<br />Your explanation makes sense about being careful to not increase humiliation, but it also makes me realize just how different all of our experiences are. You treat spanking as quite private, but then you told your mother. My mother, or my wife's (when she was alive) would be the LAST person I would want to know, and I would feel much, much less embarrassed by her telling a friend, coworker, her sister, or most anyone else than her mother or mine.<br /><br />-ZMBad_boy_G_punished_by_Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15062930835790875000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-91609765779501587822021-02-26T07:12:49.007-08:002021-02-26T07:12:49.007-08:00It's possible, though some of it was related t...It's possible, though some of it was related to the discussion you and I have been having here about rural upbringing. He and I figure out that we grew up about 30 miles from each other in very rural America. We even had relatives who knew each other.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-13937165939696640932021-02-26T07:08:01.736-08:002021-02-26T07:08:01.736-08:00No, please don't shut up. I've been enjoyi...No, please don't shut up. I've been enjoying the exchange.<br /><br />My first home town had a lot of the elements you talk about. The same kind of rural, farming community. But, it was less idyllic on the racial front. There weren't that many minorities, but there definitely was a background of prejudice against the few that were, including the hired farm workers and their families. My dad constantly defends the people there as the nicest in the world, but I always point out to him that they are, in fact, very nice but only to those who are just like them. We moved to another small town when I was pretty young, and while I have a lot of affection for it, there were huge racial divisions there, and it could be downright dangerous.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-79960731311434485562021-02-26T07:07:30.447-08:002021-02-26T07:07:30.447-08:00One more thing the football coach did. He had a &q...One more thing the football coach did. He had a "study table" at practice. He got reports from the other teachers, and if you were doing bad in a class you sat at the study table and did schoolwork while all of your teammates and friends were out on the practice field right in front of you. Boy did the players hate that. The other players gave them a hard time for not being on the field. The cheerleading coach picked up on it too. You sat at the study table once and you made sure you weren't failing any classes after that. Another great idea that should have gone nationwide.<br />Liz<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-7806391462392134342021-02-26T07:01:53.997-08:002021-02-26T07:01:53.997-08:00Sorry, Liz, was that question meant for ZM? The w...Sorry, Liz, was that question meant for ZM? The women at my work aren't close to my wife, but it sounds like some of ZM's are.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-34876099132123082342021-02-26T06:44:07.501-08:002021-02-26T06:44:07.501-08:00I'm not saying there was no racial discriminat...I'm not saying there was no racial discrimination, but overt acts of it were really frowned upon. I remember one senior bully (a white kid) at our high school picking on a black kid in the freshman class. The black kid was a little guy but he had gone out for freshman football. When the varsity football players (white, black and Native American) found out about it, they beat the beJesus out of the bully, and he wasn't much of a bully after that. <br /><br />Another thing our football coach did was he paired up a varsity player with every special ed kid in the school. They had lunch together at least once a week. Everybody knew you didn't pick on the special ed kid or you were going to answer to the football player. We had one hell of a good football coach and I wish that idea had gone nationwide.<br /><br />And the girls weren't teased about our clothing because none of us had designer stuff. It was a simpler world.<br /><br />Sorry for so many posts. I'll shut up now.<br />LizAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-32825472485002886352021-02-26T06:28:12.561-08:002021-02-26T06:28:12.561-08:00Darren,
Even though there was and is a lot of corp...Darren,<br />Even though there was and is a lot of corporal punishment in my life, there is very little talk about it. My parents just did it, and I am the same way. I would never discuss punishing my husband with my mother-in-law while he was present, because I have absolutely no interest in humiliating him. That may be your fantasy, but it is not part of our reality. The family I grew up in and the family I am now in as the mom and wife uses spanking to correct and change behavior, but we don't link it to embarrassment/humiliation beyond what is inherent in the act itself. I adore my husband and would never do anything to hurt him ... other than the hurt he has asked me to regularly apply to his backside.<br />Liz<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-6218340583740827362021-02-26T06:02:50.164-08:002021-02-26T06:02:50.164-08:00We just called it the "heartland." We we...We just called it the "heartland." We weren't North or South or Midwest. It wasn't a direction. It was a state of mind and a way of life. We cared about our neighbors -- white, black, or Native American (there were no Asians and few Hispanics where I grew up). It was a true community. Kids respected their elders and got whupped when they didn't. If a mom was sick, dinner showed up at the door from a neighbor. If a truck broke down or a roof leaked, neighbors tried to help before you had to hire a professional. Most of your relatives lived within driving distance, and in some families three and four generations lived on the same property. Every kid worked for their parents, helping maintain their place, whether it was a farm or not. Families watched out for each other, and that sometimes included spanking kids who were not your own. I'm not saying it was perfect, though it may sound like I am. Would I change anything? Maybe the schools weren't that good. Maybe we were sometimes on the edge of poor. But I didn't realize any of that then. I loved my childhood, and I still live in the area, though in a different town than where I grew up. My mom is still in the house I grew up in, though we've sold off some of the land. I miss my Dad, belt and all.<br />Liz Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-89056461259040717412021-02-26T05:37:25.932-08:002021-02-26T05:37:25.932-08:00Dan,
I find it interesting that there are women at...Dan,<br />I find it interesting that there are women at your workplace who actually threaten to rat you out to your wife. Does it impact your behavior in any positive way? Especially since you think it is possible that they would follow through when your wife comes for coffee? I would actually like to have someone at my husband's workplace who would report to me and threaten him with reporting to me. I think it would further reduce his arrogance at work. Maybe I should start going to his workplace more often for "coffee with the girls." Hmmm ...<br />Liz Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-64591364553091384312021-02-26T05:29:55.027-08:002021-02-26T05:29:55.027-08:00I was very seldom threatened. I was just spanked. ...I was very seldom threatened. I was just spanked. My mom would say, "Come in the kitchen, Elizabeth," and I knew I was getting the wooden spoon over her knee. She would sit on a kitchen chair and I would stand in front of her. "What did you do wrong?" she would ask. I would say what I did wrong. "Get over," she would say, and I would bend over her lap. My skirt would always go up or jeans always come down, but whether I got to keep my panties up depended on the severity of my offense and who else was in the house at the time. She spanked hard and fast and we never counted. It was almost always to tears. After she was done she would stand me up and say, "What do you have to say?" I would apologize through my tears and promise not to do it again. Then she would hug me and kiss me and say I was a good girl and give me the spoon to put back in the drawer and tell me to go wash my face, and we would go about our day. This ritual was so regular that eventually I got used to it -- and appreciated that my parents virtually never yelled at us. I did wrong, I paid the price, it was over, my parents loved me. It actually was a great childhood. My brothers went through a similar ritual with Dad's belt and feel exactly the same as I do. We all have treated our children similarly, and they know they are loved.<br />Liz Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-78090499172429833362021-02-26T05:13:09.857-08:002021-02-26T05:13:09.857-08:00Maybe you wound up liking each other partly *becau...Maybe you wound up liking each other partly *because* you apologized. My husband says his work relationships are much better since I started paddling him for his arrogance.<br />Liz Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-42263538159525347722021-02-25T14:46:59.350-08:002021-02-25T14:46:59.350-08:00While much more subdued, there is an element of wh...While much more subdued, there is an element of what you are describing in the time my wife made me personally call a guy I had gone off on and apologize. At the time, I *really* did not like him, and that made apologizing excruciatingly hard. Interestingly, we ended up having to spend quite a bit of time together traveling for a work project, and I ended up actually liking him.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-82687801464513835832021-02-25T14:43:12.100-08:002021-02-25T14:43:12.100-08:00Yeah, I originally came from one of those states ...Yeah, I originally came from one of those states that is similarly hard to characterize. It's sort of Midwest, sort of Southern, sort of neither. But, definitely a lot of Southern values. Very Bible belt, and lots of spanking belts, too! Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-75531470040546561082021-02-25T14:32:29.726-08:002021-02-25T14:32:29.726-08:00The psychological nuances in the pride theme were ...The psychological nuances in the pride theme were fascinating and they really resonated with me -- something that doesn't always happen with fiction. As I mentioned above I identified with the protagonist particularly in that sometimes I manifest that stubborn pride trait. I have sometimes wished my wife would paddle it out of me. Fortunately or unfortunately she is happy to do that and strangely enough it actually works.<br />Alan Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-6784844265423991172021-02-25T13:30:09.231-08:002021-02-25T13:30:09.231-08:00I just kind of did this in my reply to Danielle, b...I just kind of did this in my reply to Danielle, but to be more specific to Alan's point and yours, you are both correct. The wife had that goal and knew her plan would likely achieve it. But the annoying friend is indeed not totally pure in her motive. What the ending was supposed to show was that while the guy abandoned his pride due to being so thoroughly defeated and that helped him open up, he also did that "sub-thing" of falling prey to feeling admiration for one's tormentor. Something his wife probably did not expect. Thus making the story more real and sticky than pat and simple. Everything has unexpected nuances. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com