tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post5277955014650022974..comments2024-03-28T21:45:05.911-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Forum - Vol. 241 - Others - Part 2Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-47244296655897656292018-03-10T19:28:11.816-08:002018-03-10T19:28:11.816-08:00When, early after we were married - and I had gott...When, early after we were married - and I had gotten used to being spanked - my (late) first wife let me know she had told a couple of her friends... and, not too long afterwards, she found a reason to spank me before each of them (on separate occasions) - and later before two more friends (one of whom was J.) I assume (though I have no proof) that the word must have been spread around - although J. claims she never told any of _her_ friends.<br />By the time I married J., however, B. (her sister) not only learned that J. spanked me, but was also invited to do so whenever we got together! Two of J's friends were also "in the know" about her disciplinary methods... as were, I am sure, some of the guests in neighboring hotel rooms when J.(and N. before her!) applied the hairbrush and/or the martinet while we were/are traveling...<br />L.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-56919144723389693332018-03-09T21:56:40.479-08:002018-03-09T21:56:40.479-08:00Wow, that's an awesome link - he's a lucky...Wow, that's an awesome link - he's a lucky man if he's being disciplined by Kristi Yamaguchi (a long-term crush of mine, in fact!)<br />CrimsonKingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-29457931195896109602018-03-09T21:27:01.739-08:002018-03-09T21:27:01.739-08:00Joe2 here again,
If you can tell, my family is go...Joe2 here again,<br /><br />If you can tell, my family is gone for the weekend.<br /><br />On to anna's comment. I have looked at cutting boards, but the surface area is too large and the handle is too short. My wife does not raise her arm above her shoulder, so these features are important.<br /><br />Changing topics... I does occur to me that the conversation with the "the other person" would be very different if it was a female or a male. If it was a female, the conversation would revolve around feelings and concerns- "how does this make you feel." If it was a male, the conversation would be about how hard, how long, and what tool do you use.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-76260578930020948732018-03-09T21:10:27.573-08:002018-03-09T21:10:27.573-08:00Joe2 here again,
We called her the Confederate Ro...Joe2 here again,<br /><br />We called her the Confederate Rose, because she had a thick Georgia accent and both sides of her family arrived in the "colonies" in the late 1600s and 1700s and almost all male members of her family that were of age (16 and above) fought in the Civil War for the Confederacy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-65678232622929417202018-03-09T20:59:57.733-08:002018-03-09T20:59:57.733-08:00That's hilarious!That's hilarious!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-50495465795387751492018-03-09T20:40:30.120-08:002018-03-09T20:40:30.120-08:00Joe2 here,
I agree with Darren. I work in a very...Joe2 here,<br /><br />I agree with Darren. I work in a very male centric occupation. I had an old boss who knew how to be a really nice person, but when you messed up she would fillet you with a rusty knife. We called her the Confederate Rose (really pretty but with really sharp thorns). We all respected her because she knew her job and knew how to lead. <br /><br />To me bitchy is where the butt chewing is dipped in emotion and the words are chosen to to demean the other person. A significant trait of my old boss is after she sliced and diced you was she would conclude with, "Now get back to work and don't do again." Which inferred that you were properly <br />corrected and she still had faith in you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-24971108418193188592018-03-09T20:27:09.715-08:002018-03-09T20:27:09.715-08:00Joe2 here,
It has happened, but by accident or ...Joe2 here, <br /><br />It has happened, but by accident or reflexively. Ice Skater Kristi Yamaguchi's husband outed himself on "Family Feud." Please see the following link: https://www.cinemablend.com/television/1548099/watch-the-awkward-moment-when-kristi-yamaguchis-husband-brings-up-spanking-on-family-feudAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-89055893712101136002018-03-09T11:51:30.424-08:002018-03-09T11:51:30.424-08:00In your comments last week, you indicated she migh...In your comments last week, you indicated she might or might not go through with it. What are your thoughts on that now?Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-14956511312424599162018-03-09T10:58:12.249-08:002018-03-09T10:58:12.249-08:00Hi Dan,
I wrote last week about having to choose ...Hi Dan,<br /><br />I wrote last week about having to choose one of three women that would be told about my wife spanking me and you asked me to let you know how things came out. I decided to post in this week's section since I guessed that no one goes back to the previous week Hope that's all right in any case, here's the update:<br /><br />Well, I did it. Last night I told my wife that I think we should tell Jenny (her sister) about the spankings. She asked if was sure and I said yes.<br /><br />The next question was about how it should be done and by whom. My wife said that the initial conversation should be just between her and Jenny. I think that's a relief. And it should be easy for her to do since they have lunch together at least twice a week and talk on the phone every day.<br /><br />So I asked when she was going to tell her and how. That's when she sprung her own surprise. She said she would talk to her about it "sometime soon" but "probably not right away." And the big surprise was that she said she would not tell me when she had "had the talk" with Jenny! That means I won't know when she knows! I could be interacting with someone who knows my wife spanks me and I don't even know whether she knows.<br /><br />I tried to tell my wife how unfair this is. I wouldn't know how to act around Jenny if I don't know whether she knows. I am surely going to be much more nervous around her until I know the situation. And she is bound to notice that. If she has already been told, she will assume that that is the reason and that is very embarrassing. And if she doesn't yet know, she will be wondering why I am acting so strange. What am I supposed to say?<br /><br />As you might guess, my wife just laughed at my dilemma and said that is the general idea--to increase the tension. "It will just add to the excitement" is what she told me. And that was the end of the discussion. <br /><br />Now all I can think about is when she will have "the conversation" with Jenny. They are having lunch together tomorrow. Will she tell her then? Will I be able to tell whether Jenny has been told by how she acts around me?<br /><br />I guess the old saying "Be careful what you wish for" applies here.<br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-31625970935970247982018-03-09T10:55:45.890-08:002018-03-09T10:55:45.890-08:00The difference between the visuals of a young, rou...The difference between the visuals of a young, round female butt and a middle-aged man's hairy ass, both draped over someone's knee for a spanking, certainly could contribute to the relative attraction to M/f versus F/m.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-32064364467807389652018-03-09T10:45:59.583-08:002018-03-09T10:45:59.583-08:00That others will take into account asthetics as pa...That others will take into account asthetics as part of the analysis process when faced with the knowledge. Its wrong but IMHO it happens. Cheers GLMAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-5238787099562778492018-03-09T10:31:50.030-08:002018-03-09T10:31:50.030-08:00Sorry, I probably have not had enough coffee today...Sorry, I probably have not had enough coffee today, but I'm not quite following the point on aesthetics and how it influences whether F/m spanking is or is not viewed as acceptable.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-20241001927448936082018-03-09T10:28:28.649-08:002018-03-09T10:28:28.649-08:00I totally agree that most of us want this lifestyl...I totally agree that most of us want this lifestyle for reasons that are, if not rooted in sexuality, at least closely linked to it in some way.<br /><br />It is interesting that our attitudes toward corporal punishment have changed and that sexualized spanking has become more acceptable. Yet, paradoxically, a lot of the spanking fiction out there still focuses on school spankings and parental discipline. Similarly, the stories on the Disciplinary Wives Club website that were my introduction to domestic discipline are generally not sexualized at all. So, whatever it is we want from DD is rooted or linked to sexuality, and yet the sexual urge associated with our DD desires seems to be triggered by non-sexualized spanking scenarios. Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-43337824533560976082018-03-09T09:48:59.946-08:002018-03-09T09:48:59.946-08:00Thanks, Dan, for the kind words!
I too was relu...Thanks, Dan, for the kind words! <br /><br />I too was reluctant to open the can of worms of even mentioning school or parental punishments and I believe there is not much real value of discussing them here, since this blog is about adult domestic discipline and FLR. <br /><br />At the same time, there is no doubt that our attitudes about physical punishment (at any age) have changed dramatically in our lifetimes. It is interesting because even as dominance and spanking have become much more acceptable and mainstream as sexual activities, they have become more taboo in any non-sexual context. When I was young, if anyone spoke of spanking, paddling, or whipping, it was almost certainly not in a sexual context. Now, it has been sexualized (yes, I made that word up) and simultaneously has become more acceptable!<br /><br />One thing that would make it exceedingly difficult to tell others about my wife punishing me is because of the perceived sexual nature of it. And to a certain degree, I'm sure it is; even though we go to great lengths to make punishments as real as possible and in no way sexual, there is certainly a linkage in my psychological makeup between sexuality and punishment/spankings. However, even though the need might be rooted in my sexual psyche, my desire is very much for authentic punishment, not role play. As such, it shouldn't be that much different than telling someone about getting a speeding ticket, but alas it still is...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-43886141627444194662018-03-09T04:52:20.820-08:002018-03-09T04:52:20.820-08:00Can I bring in a left-field aspect to this discuss...Can I bring in a left-field aspect to this discussion? Basically what I think causes embarrassment about FLR or F/M spanking is the inherent sexism that pervades widely still and is reflected in aesthetics. For me the proof comes in when it is acceptable to talk/joke about being disciplined as a male. I will use my own limited example. So 15 years ago, if I had shared amongst my friends that I dressed my then girlfriend up in role-play (school uniform) for the benefit of spanking her (and occasionally caning her) I suspect the reaction would have been limited as aesthetically she was attractive, not as tall as me, their is a 7 year age gap and she could pull off the look. Fast forward 15 years and if she looked the same but the story was I dressed in night clothes, bathed in advance of and was put over her knee on our bed at bedtime at least twice a month I suspect their would be a stronger push-back. But she doesn't look the same, she is just as beautiful in my eyes but the truth is after 2 kids and a full career he is about 4 inches rounder in the waist and 4 stone heavier. This means the lap/knees I go over are well able for the job. Factor that into the story and I guarantee the push-back is much less because, added to her personality as known to our social circle (and mine :-)) the fact she aesthetically looks like someone capable of hauling me over her knee on the side of our bed would make for a different reaction. Just my observation and apologies I offer no answers. Cheers Good Life Mickey.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-26877527346571505602018-03-08T21:13:13.591-08:002018-03-08T21:13:13.591-08:00ZM -- so much good stuff here.
"Anyway, I do...ZM -- so much good stuff here.<br /><br />"Anyway, I don't have any real insights, but sure thought the topic was interesting."<br /><br />Really? You've kind of been setting the bar for actually reading the topic, thinking about the topic, and responding to the topic with insightful comments. Please keep it up.<br /><br /><br />"The fact a man submitting to his wife is culturally taboo tells me that we are still not even close on the equality front. Could this be the reason that the reason many of us would feel more comfortable telling a woman about our being subject to discipline? Is it because we think that most men don't REALLY view women as equals?"<br /><br />I agreed with you up until the last sentence. I don't think it has anything to do with they dynamic between men and women. I think we can confess to a woman, because she won't judge us as a man would. We men are our own fucking worst enemies.<br /><br /><br />"BTW, with regard to the “strong man” issue, I asked my wife if she feels maternal during punishments, and she said she definitely does. In everyday life, she very much wants and expects a strong husband, but when she decides it is time for punishment, she becomes the authority figure and I become very much the naughty boy. After punishment, we revert to normal."<br /><br />I love it that three or four weeks after the topic, someone FINALLY responds with an honest answer on this maternal thing. Again, ZM, thank you!<br /><br />"Regarding the discipline aspect, I think that this part is probably even harder because we as a society have eschewed all forms of corporal punishment. Without making any value judgments about whether this is positive or negative, it is clear that our opinions have changed radically about any sort of physical punishment. When I was a child, it was common for children to be paddled in school if they misbehaved (my morbid fascination with this continues to this day)."<br /><br />I may not got into this because it is such a kettle of worms, but, we have never (well, almost never) spanked our kids. Yet, many of us on this forum were raised with corporal punishment. 40 years ago, kids did not walk into schools and shoot kids. So, as a non-spanking parent, I do wonder whether as a society we have just dropped any sense of personal responsibility and consequences, and this is what we get? Again, I don't feel personally bad about raising this, because we did not spank. But, the fact that we didn't and yet society is progressively more violent makes me question whether we were right. I do think I can conclusively say that (a) we have the lowest level of corporal punishment in generations; (b) we have the highest level of mass shootings in generations - - so spanking does not cause mass shootings. Beyond that, I really do not have a fucking clue, though I wish I did. I worried about getting jumped in the bathroom. My kids worry about getting killed walking down the hall. Not the same thing . . . at all.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-18335562769874318662018-03-08T15:53:50.614-08:002018-03-08T15:53:50.614-08:00What a hugely thought-provoking topic!
As I was r...What a hugely thought-provoking topic!<br /><br />As I was reading through the comments, I found myself agreeing with every comment.<br /><br />As for whether the awkwardness that I would feel in telling anyone about this is due more to the disciplinary aspects or the FLR aspects, I really have no idea, I just know that it is really, really taboo! I think it is probably a healthy dose of both aspects that make it so. Much of the difficulty in answering this weeks question is actually due to the differences (and perhaps hypocrisy) between what we say we want as a society and what we actually think or believe.<br /><br />First looking at the FLR aspect... As others have mentioned, traditionally, society expects men to be strong leaders, so the idea that a man could be disciplined by his wife might make him seem pretty wimpy to many, especially to other men. At the same time, we also expect and insist on women being equal (which is a very good thing). If we are all truly equal, then it should be no more surprising to have a man submitting to a woman than a woman submitting to a man. The fact a man submitting to his wife is culturally taboo tells me that we are still not even close on the equality front. Could this be the reason that the reason many of us would feel more comfortable telling a woman about our being subject to discipline? Is it because we think that most men don't REALLY view women as equals? <br /><br />BTW, with regard to the “strong man” issue, I asked my wife if she feels maternal during punishments, and she said she definitely does. In everyday life, she very much wants and expects a strong husband, but when she decides it is time for punishment, she becomes the authority figure and I become very much the naughty boy. After punishment, we revert to normal.<br /><br />Regarding the discipline aspect, I think that this part is probably even harder because we as a society have eschewed all forms of corporal punishment. Without making any value judgments about whether this is positive or negative, it is clear that our opinions have changed radically about any sort of physical punishment. When I was a child, it was common for children to be paddled in school if they misbehaved (my morbid fascination with this continues to this day). Also, corporal punishment was used quite extensively in the military and prisons. Now, we generally are very negative about any use of corporal punishment, with many automatically calling it abuse, even if it is consensual. This would probably be even more true in M/F disciplinary relationships. If you are just playing games and having fun, that is all good and is 50 shades-like. But if you are doing it for real, you will just get concerned, knowing looks that let you know that the listener is convinced you are being abused. <br /><br />Anyway, I don't have any real insights, but sure thought the topic was interesting!<br /><br />-ZMAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-15816659423601514952018-03-08T10:08:35.508-08:002018-03-08T10:08:35.508-08:00Nice!Nice!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-59054130622054619552018-03-08T09:37:01.697-08:002018-03-08T09:37:01.697-08:00Dan
In our kitchen is a cutting board that Peter m...Dan<br />In our kitchen is a cutting board that Peter made in high school. I love seeing it there as it was the first thing I used to spank him. It was in the kitchen while the kids were at their grand parents. Every now and then I take it out in front of the boys and ask Peter if he wants to slice the bread.<br />annaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-62799921026456880072018-03-06T07:07:51.837-08:002018-03-06T07:07:51.837-08:00Then I hope you've tried Monk's....a stalw...Then I hope you've tried Monk's....a stalwart!Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02308416826203465913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-394280024265753702018-03-05T17:45:54.746-08:002018-03-05T17:45:54.746-08:00My daughter and son-in-law live in Philly, not far...My daughter and son-in-law live in Philly, not far from the Pennsylvania Hospital. I was heartbroken to find out they closed 'Eulogy' the Belgian bar and restaurant. (Dan would have LOVED that place!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-46581484641353053862018-03-05T15:32:08.777-08:002018-03-05T15:32:08.777-08:00Sounds like you boys need to get together for a be...Sounds like you boys need to get together for a beer.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-61314957788648810362018-03-05T14:33:53.407-08:002018-03-05T14:33:53.407-08:00OK....here's a flash back to my comments last ...OK....here's a flash back to my comments last week about my comfort to be open within the group.....KD, I didnt realize you're in Central NJ!!!...I'm north west Philly burbs! (OMG....I'm OUT....lol...lol)Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02308416826203465913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-8186898461795716032018-03-05T12:42:38.527-08:002018-03-05T12:42:38.527-08:00Hi Alan. Glad to hear from you again.
As my po...Hi Alan. Glad to hear from you again. <br /><br />As my post tried to reflect, given my own current mid-life crisis around being more open and authentic, I agree the most destructive aspect of the societal approbation is that false and defensive persona we put on. Though, that is hardly limited just to DD and spanking. <br /><br />As for frustrated proselytizing, I really have only one male friend who I would like to tell about DD. And, it's not because I want to share with my "bestie." It's because he is a walking, talking prototype for the "before DD" husband in a story about DD's potential for transforming a bad husband into a good one. He is not a bad person, but he often seems stuck in this 1950s Mad Men world in which he goes to work, drinks too much, loves his wife but doesn't really care if she gets hacked that he devotes himself to work and carousing more than to his family . . . He's exactly the kind of Alpha male but with potential to be a better man who might actually profit from DD. But, I don't think there is a chance in hell that he would react to it with anything but ridicule if I as another male raised it. For that reason, I have even thought about sending his wife an anonymous letter with some printouts from the DWC website and a polite suggestion that she might want to give it a try . . .<br /><br />I think you are right that the younger generation will be much more open than ours. Though I also don't underestimate the tendency people have to be more open to their own kinks but less forgiving of others. The human capacity for hypocrisy also seems pretty boundless. How many congressmen do we have that have smoked pot, yet it's still in the same category as heroin in terms of illegality. But, you are right that advances on the LGBT front are probably the best indication that some of the faux moralism is finally fading away.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-46489662955957388682018-03-05T12:28:25.381-08:002018-03-05T12:28:25.381-08:00Good point about the strides made in the general a...Good point about the strides made in the general acceptance of other non-traditional lifestyles and gender roles.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com