tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post4918708976546751200..comments2024-03-28T08:50:32.256-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Forum - Vol. 164 - Turning PointsDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-52645726935635969242017-07-18T12:14:54.598-07:002017-07-18T12:14:54.598-07:00Thanks to my father who informed me concerning thi...Thanks to my father who informed me concerning this website, this website is <br />genuinely awesome.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-36110950765619352932016-07-10T09:33:04.808-07:002016-07-10T09:33:04.808-07:00For us, DD seems to be a constant work in progress...For us, DD seems to be a constant work in progress, and more of a "two steps forward one back" dance, more ebb and flow than constant high tide. Here's this week's back and forward dance, for illustration: <br /><br />My husband had a high-demands job, we have little kids and he's still learning to read me, so I am to tell him when my spank tank runs dry. Over this incredibly busy week I did tell him once or twice, but we couldn't find time to change that. The weekend was also very busy with us spending very little time together, and I didn't get my morning check-in or spanking yesterday. So when my husband came to bed late last night, I asked him if he could please make sure he got up early enough to give me a spanking, just to get me back on an even keel. Then, a minute later, I asked, could he maybe spank me now? He clearly wasn't in the mood, and it was way past my lights off and sleep time. This is the conversation that ensued.<br /><br />Xander: "What's wrong?" Me: "Nothing's wrong, I just need a spanking." - "But why?" (Beats me... if I had a penny each time I asked myself that question, I'd be rich.) "I don't know." - "But what's going on?" (I'm getting very frustrated here - I told him my spank tank's empty and he's quizzing me...?) "I'm antsy, it's hard to focus on my work in front of me, and..." - "Ah, now we're getting somewhere." (Are we? Really?) and then: "Do you really need it now?" or something to that extent. <br /><br />I was thoroughly frustrated. It's bad enough that I feel like I'm imposing on him without him putting on that air of martyr, so I told him to forget it, apparently just as he was getting up his motivation. I then followed it up with "And I don't want to make that decision (tonight or tomorrow) for you. Make up your mind if you're going to or not, and then do that." To which he then replied, "Now you're definitely getting spanked for yanking my chain."<br /><br />Well, I more or less gracefully accepted the spanking he delivered, and he felt a lot better afterwards. This spanking definitely was equal parts retribution for annoying him and role affirmation. And to be honest, it wasn't what I wanted but I really didn't mind. It was the one he needed to give, and the one that cleared the air so we both went to sleep peacefully. And it helped a little with my empty spank tank. <br /><br />But I can't help thinking, if his first thought in this situation is that *I'm* yanking *his* chain (he obviously got out of that mode quick enough), then we really still have a way to go... <br />And just in case anyone's wondering, he did get up early and gave me exactly what I needed this morning.<br /><br />Cheers, WillowAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-28253188377512081012016-07-09T09:07:54.382-07:002016-07-09T09:07:54.382-07:00Okay, I'll say it, the worst part about peggin...Okay, I'll say it, the worst part about pegging is the enema I get first Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-65293276635058520652016-07-09T09:02:21.726-07:002016-07-09T09:02:21.726-07:00I think there are many stories like this, getting ...I think there are many stories like this, getting caught and then punished for it in a very emotional scene for both of you.If you are in a DD it's better to get the guidelines clear about masturbation and porn. Some women don't care and others make it a major offense.I have experienced both and the important thing to do is communicate with her about it and then meet her expectations or accept the consequences.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-19066675004330164822016-07-09T08:40:01.430-07:002016-07-09T08:40:01.430-07:00Hi Tomy. The "no-nonsense" sessions do ...Hi Tomy. The "no-nonsense" sessions do tend to be the most memorable, don't they?Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-75650574531440129562016-07-09T03:36:18.154-07:002016-07-09T03:36:18.154-07:00The turning point for me came about a year into ou...The turning point for me came about a year into our marraige, we had been using dd in our relationship for some years before, but this time was different - my wife had gone out for the day and had left me at home with some jobs to do ( we run our own business and do a lot of work from home so I was to catch up on the accounts) however, she arrived home earlier than expected and walked in on me in the study only to find me naked self-pleasuring to spanking porn. Needless to say she was rather surprised , which quickly turned to disappointment hurt and anger, she grabbed me by my ear and led me to the bedroom where she beat my bottom raw! She was very upset and there were tears on both sides (not just from the spanking) as she explained that she thought of porn and masturbation as forms of infidelity and how hurt she felt to find me as she did. When she was finished we embraced and talked and I admitted that I had started to become addicted to porn and that I would do my best to stop.My bottom was still sore three days later and I realised that she was capable of delivering severe punishment if needed and that I should be more aware of my behaviour towards her. However, the real turning point came a week later with the arrival in the post of a chastitiy device that she had ordered - from that moment on she was in total control - I have been kept in chastity pretty much ever since- only released under supervision for hygene and 'emptying',I am spanked daily and must be naked when alone in her presence- it has been thus for fifteen years and I wouldn't change a thing. ( I am permitted to look at some spanking blogs with her supervision- she reads them along with me)<br /><br />CRMAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-86786451629722020542016-07-08T14:19:21.815-07:002016-07-08T14:19:21.815-07:00Dan
I think that Marisa has made a very valuable p...Dan<br />I think that Marisa has made a very valuable point that there are two types of discipline. There is corporal which in my mind is spanking . But often we men need to be taken down a bit and that is more instilling in us discipline. I think that it is very hard to separate entirely the sexual aspect of discipline, corporal or otherwise. The end goal for me is to find the path that makes my life work and at the same time makes Anna's life work for her.<br />peterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-4737804597306630172016-07-08T07:17:13.558-07:002016-07-08T07:17:13.558-07:00Thanks Tomy. This is what I am talking about. That...Thanks Tomy. This is what I am talking about. That firt real one is a turning point and one you never forget.<br />JudyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-88888485653019572972016-07-08T06:10:05.797-07:002016-07-08T06:10:05.797-07:00First Disciplinary Spanking came when we were stil...First Disciplinary Spanking came when we were still dating and were about to move in together. The details are not important. Suffice to say that I wanted to do something that would make us some fast money. Her opinion was that it was an unacceptable risk. I stubbornly argued and finally said I as going to do it anyway; because I knew it would be O.K. to do.<br /><br />We had played a little with spanking already, so there were implements in the house. I didn't even realize she had fetched a long-handled spoon-like paddle when she walked into the room and angrily pushed me onto the bed, face down.<br /><br />Seconds later my bare bottom was stinging like bees were on it. And it went on way longer than my wimpy endurance could handle. I begged, but she just blistered my bottom.<br /><br />That was a long time ago and there have been other "no-nonsense" disciplinary sessions; many times even worse than that one. But I remember that day very clearly. <br />Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-50774107166748636582016-07-07T13:30:23.609-07:002016-07-07T13:30:23.609-07:00I think it would depend on the atmospherics as wel...I think it would depend on the atmospherics as well as the man involved. Penetration opens Jay up physically and psychologically.It also makes him submissive in a way spanking does not. But it would be naive to expect the same outcome from every male. Jay has many times confessed to me that spanking him in front of someone ( which I am considering) would be unbearable if done in front of another male. So maybe its a " maleness" thing <br />MarisaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-86301810580635514172016-07-07T12:11:26.440-07:002016-07-07T12:11:26.440-07:00Hi Judy. Thanks so much for the kind words. I ag...Hi Judy. Thanks so much for the kind words. I agree that after the first time, my view was never quite the same. You are so right that the "reality" is just so different from what we take away from even very "realistic" descriptions of it.<br /><br />Thanks for joining in the discussion, and I hope you'll continue to do so.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-81174884643692912492016-07-07T12:08:37.787-07:002016-07-07T12:08:37.787-07:00Hi Marisa. I was mulling whether to make that a t...Hi Marisa. I was mulling whether to make that a topic at some point. I've been curious whether it worked as "real" discipline, or whether it was so erotic and inherently sexual that the guy would just enjoy it too much. Sounds like for you it has been a true disciplinary tool.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-12105560243840200072016-07-07T12:06:41.165-07:002016-07-07T12:06:41.165-07:00I still applaud your courage, particularly since y...I still applaud your courage, particularly since you did not know that she was already aware of the DD aspect of your relationship. That kind of openness and vulnerability takes incredible guts, even if you thought it was the right thing to do.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-20891846241710751382016-07-07T11:45:23.747-07:002016-07-07T11:45:23.747-07:00Dan,
You are doing a super job with this group. I ...Dan,<br />You are doing a super job with this group. I am (currently) single but have spanked many men a few erotically but most for punishment. I know that the real " turning point" is when I turn them over my lap, pull down their pants and give them a real spanking, fast and hard and long. When they stand up again they never look at the world or women quite the same way. Admit it, most of you guys were shocked by that first punishment spanking and dealing with the reality of it. That's the way it should be and why spanking works. But how about less angst about " the turning point". It was when you got your first real spanking and your life will never be the same again. Love you guys<br /><br />Judy Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-17889718860450444092016-07-07T11:04:24.375-07:002016-07-07T11:04:24.375-07:00Maybe not seamlessly.I resisted for several years ...Maybe not seamlessly.I resisted for several years taking the step that I probably should have taken earlier.The strap has helped my husband grow up but welding it has helped me grow too<br />Holly Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-84378293360255824932016-07-07T10:57:15.879-07:002016-07-07T10:57:15.879-07:00Hello Dan,
If there was a single point for us it w...Hello Dan,<br />If there was a single point for us it was not a spanking but the first time I pegged him, something I don't use often.He had resisted it long after he was submitting to disciplinary spankings. I felt it was something I must do influenced partly by Elise Sutton's recommendation. I made him face me while it was happening and confess his naughty behavior and acknowledge explicitly my control over him (and his ass) .It is time consuming to do it right but the impact on him was powerful. He went from an arrogant condescending jerk to an obedient husband. I will use Anna's favorite phrase and say it had a "humbling function" on him no spanking ever produced.I have used it since a few times mostly just to remind him it can happen.Pegging isn't punishment at least not corporal punishment but it is discipline for an arrogant male and leaves no doubt about who is in charge. Like post orgasm spanking I think it should be used in exceptional circumstances less it loses it's effectiveness. But it is a game changer.<br />MarisaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-6136205052600471132016-07-07T10:25:08.365-07:002016-07-07T10:25:08.365-07:00Honestly Dan it just seemed like the thing to do. ...Honestly Dan it just seemed like the thing to do. My wife was VERY angry and I was truly sorry for embarrassing her and myself.My MIl is a sweetheart and far as I know she told no one else. She has actually become my best supporter in the family. But it was a turning point. I realized my wife was no longer playing around with spanking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-21664785900764844492016-07-07T09:27:39.415-07:002016-07-07T09:27:39.415-07:00Hi Ted. Wow! That really is cranking it up and ma...Hi Ted. Wow! That really is cranking it up and making it real. Honestly, faced with the same choice, I probably would have taken the second spanking before calling my mother-in-law to let her know I had been spanked. You are a stronger man than I.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-42505659425082777622016-07-07T08:04:12.219-07:002016-07-07T08:04:12.219-07:00For us it was after a holiday dinner at her folks ...For us it was after a holiday dinner at her folks place where I got into a nasty argument with her uncle. She had been spanking me for some time but this time after she let me up she gave me a choice between corner time and a repeat spanking or calling her Mother and apologizing and telling her --- had just spanked me. It was the hardest thing I ever did and avoiding the second spanking motivated me but it also seemed the right thing to do after the spanking. Afterward I learned her mother knew about the spankings for a while but I still had trouble facing her for a long time. That spanking was a turning point in many ways because it established my wife's authority to take discipline further than I ever would have and I never misbehaved again at a family event.I had been spanked dozens of time before that night but that was really my first real disciplinary spanking <br />Ted Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-51199276215178492432016-07-06T14:45:49.068-07:002016-07-06T14:45:49.068-07:00Thanks, KD. Like you, I have a hard time remember...Thanks, KD. Like you, I have a hard time remembering what prompted particular sessions. Maybe that's why I keep screwing up??Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-22718231774733906102016-07-06T14:44:23.678-07:002016-07-06T14:44:23.678-07:00Thanks, Holly. I admit that your means of coming t...Thanks, Holly. I admit that your means of coming to this kind of relationship just fascinates me, having seen it first hand growing up, then imposing it later. It doesn't seem to be the usual route to the lifestyle, but it seems to have worked some seamlessly for you.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-80282088459364350312016-07-06T14:42:26.942-07:002016-07-06T14:42:26.942-07:00Hi Anna. Thanks for the thoughtful response. I wo...Hi Anna. Thanks for the thoughtful response. I wonder if this is also an illustration of how to best use DD -- one step at a time. Address one behavior at a time, instead of trying to suddenly solve 30 or 40 years worth of bad habits.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-81012867959344702902016-07-06T09:49:54.509-07:002016-07-06T09:49:54.509-07:00Dan
Didnt sign my entry sorry
annaDan <br />Didnt sign my entry sorry<br />annaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-917292784558299892016-07-06T09:48:48.755-07:002016-07-06T09:48:48.755-07:00Dan
I have never put so much thought as I have in ...Dan<br />I have never put so much thought as I have in answering this week's topic. I am not sure it was the first time i administered punishment, but it is the moment that I recall I understood what I was doing and more<br />important why. Peter had been out of control and being short and rude to me, the boys and everyone in general for over a week. Because he had mentioned in our marriage therapy session more than once that the one thing that seemed to bring him back was corporal punishment. I had as a wife gone to the professional domme who he had visited. There was never sex involved but i understood there was some erotic attachment to it. I resented that. However I went to this woman, who was professional and kind and she gave me a few lessons in how to do it. <br />I tried it and although it seemed to work a bit, i resented having to do this. One night before a session I told Peter how I felt. I then said I expected him to change one thing. How he spoke to our boys. If he could not do that and show progress I would leave him. The next day he took the boys and I for a drive and in the woods, sat us down and apologized to both me and our two boys for his behavior. He asked them to <br />forgive him. After about 10 days I noticed when he would hold his tongue think a bit before going off. Home was more peaceful and I felt progress was made. Of course he slipped and when he did I punished.<br />But this time I had a sense that what I was doing was helping not abetting. Slowly I added other things which included asking forgiveness when he slips either with our family or friends. Now I feel there is purpose and we are working together to create a better life for us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-61950461687333345942016-07-06T07:37:18.010-07:002016-07-06T07:37:18.010-07:00I knew it was real from the first spanking I admin...I knew it was real from the first spanking I administered because I knew men can be managed with a strap if a woman is determined.I had also suspected for a while my husband wanted this. Our dating relationship really became serious when he found out my father was punished sometimes. He never directly asked me to take control but I was certain he would accept it and I was right since I received no resistance when I told him what was coming.Also the way he stripped and presented his ass to me on command convinced me I was right. All of these I guess were " turning points"<br />Holly Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com