tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post4634934114173663460..comments2024-03-28T21:45:05.911-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Forum - Weekly Topic #66 and New PollDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-63079775060972627232014-12-10T13:05:03.230-08:002014-12-10T13:05:03.230-08:00My Wife and I are only relatively new to DD. We ha...My Wife and I are only relatively new to DD. We have been married now for just over two years and I have only recieved a small number of disciplinary spankings.<br />It all stared as fun sexy spankings that I asked for. She wasn’t that into it, (she didn‘t want to hurt me), but with time she came to enjoy the job. She often tells me that she like watching my bottom move and turn red, often giggling when the haibrush makes a target like mark. In all, she has changed the most, and realy enjoys giving a good spanking. My wife even changed to favour an old hotel style cloths brush she spotted in an opp shop and bought. In total now we have two wooden paddles, a wooden hairbrush and the dreaded cloths brush. <br /> I enjoy a good spanking, but after my first discipline spanking from my wife, I don’t look forward to those, neither of us do. If I start out arroused, I don’t end up so. I think we both have changed in our thoughts on spanking and DD.<br /><br />J.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-83681906216857617972014-11-23T06:08:44.582-08:002014-11-23T06:08:44.582-08:00Hi Dan
Starting with smaller doable goals is actu...Hi Dan<br /><br />Starting with smaller doable goals is actually what Aunt Kay recommended and I am pretty sure that's where we got it. As I remember she said something like list the behaviors that need correction and then start with one or two that seem achievable ( the easiest) then move on. Both my former girlfriend and my wife looked for results oriented spanking meaning they better work or something else is needed. I think that starting with doable things gives your wife confidence and a sense of her authority and makes you feel progress is being made<br /><br />AlanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-51846536780994934002014-11-22T16:24:54.201-08:002014-11-22T16:24:54.201-08:00Alan, your comment makes me wonde whether my wife ...Alan, your comment makes me wonde whether my wife and I have gone about it a bit wrong. We tended to start with the big stuff, ignoring the small stuff and, honestly, a lot of hte big stuff is a repeated problem. I wonder if it might have been more effective to start with smaller bad habits, address those, then move up the ladder of offenses.<br /><br />As always, thanks for contributing!<br /><br />DanDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-55607800276697469602014-11-22T16:18:12.666-08:002014-11-22T16:18:12.666-08:00I agree it's a good future topic.
DanI agree it's a good future topic.<br /><br />DanDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-69676981251277281572014-11-22T16:16:38.172-08:002014-11-22T16:16:38.172-08:00The problem we find with the paddle is the fast pa...The problem we find with the paddle is the fast pace is almost counter-productive, because of the numbness you refer to. After about a minute, I dont feel it nearly as much. What seems to be more effective, particuarly with thick wooden insruments like a paddle, are less frequent, harder strokes, but that go on a long time. But, for sheer shock effect, she has this thing I bought that is about an 18 inch long rubber strap, about an inch wide, with a wooden handle. It hurts unbelievablly bad, and i never really get numb. Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-46279812367611598082014-11-22T16:12:11.280-08:002014-11-22T16:12:11.280-08:00Aren't we all?
DanAren't we all?<br /><br />DanDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-62584138540891265602014-11-22T07:15:34.576-08:002014-11-22T07:15:34.576-08:00Hi RM,
My experience is mainly with the brush and ...Hi RM,<br />My experience is mainly with the brush and strap but it's the same I think.My wife likes me to raise my bum to her stroke but doesn't make me count ( actually won't tell me how many I am getting and doesn't want me concentrating on the number) I do think that hard and fast without a warmup is pure punishment where the objective is to punish behavior rather than teach a lesson . Slower and longer is more discipline and learning a lesson because I process more what she is scolding me for and the whole experience is more ritualized<br /><br />Alan <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-6551288357420725782014-11-22T07:07:44.416-08:002014-11-22T07:07:44.416-08:00Thanks Anna,
I think discipline in a long term re...Thanks Anna,<br /><br />I think discipline in a long term relationship must be dynamic if it is to be real. I don't know if my wife figured it out in the beginning or it just evolved but she started with modest goals for me and then increased her strictness and expectations. I learned accountability to her over the smaller things and that training just carried over as her goals for me increased . Thinking back I thought I needed discipline but I had no real idea just how bad I really needed to be disciplined. As I said above I seem to thrive on the increasing strictness and wanting to make her proud of me and feel that the discipline is working.<br /><br />AlanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-3735444649386011602014-11-22T04:56:20.986-08:002014-11-22T04:56:20.986-08:00Hi Allan, Mistress applies the cane very fast. As ...Hi Allan, Mistress applies the cane very fast. As soon as the stroke lands I have to count the number of the stroke and say 'Thank You Mistress.' And then the next stroke is applied. If I'm whining of begging, she applies the next stroke regardless so there is no respite. I find this method of punishment far more painful that allowing time for the pain to subside before the next stroke. The letter method to me as quite pleasurable because while you get that intense sting of the impact, followed by the sting of the nerves rebounding, the deep burn that follows is quite delicious, leaving you eager for the next stroke. Mistress' method of caning me is pure punishment.Respecting Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00283458872041706615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-34173818829686999932014-11-21T08:46:51.526-08:002014-11-21T08:46:51.526-08:00Alan
Must say I do like the phrase " Moving T...Alan<br />Must say I do like the phrase " Moving The Goal Posts ". It so aptly describes our situation. My husband needs that sort of reminder that there is in my mind a long term goal for him. Like you he is a better husband, father and friend. <br />Thanks again for that phrase I love it!<br /><br />annaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-57929637406536623782014-11-20T11:04:34.004-08:002014-11-20T11:04:34.004-08:00Dan,
This might be a topic for a future forum but ...Dan,<br />This might be a topic for a future forum but does your wife spank fast like Fred's or slower and drawn out. Physically in the end you might get to the same point fast or slow but to me the psychological differences are huge. Fast can just be emotionally overwhelming and the numbness at the end lets you stop struggling and let go to her control. But slower makes you keep engaged all the way and maybe absorb the lesson better especially if she is scolding. Maybe fast is more a punishment spanking and slower is more for discipline. Would love to hear some comments from others<br /><br />Alan Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-45164530595253518482014-11-20T10:42:21.368-08:002014-11-20T10:42:21.368-08:00Dan,
I don't know how your wife spanks, but m...Dan,<br /><br />I don't know how your wife spanks, but mine can apply about 120 hard swats with a 1/2 inch thick paddle in about 2 minutes and they come so fast there is no time to recover. Has your wife done that? The good news is that soon after your butt grows numb and the pain diminishes rapidly. If she does, and it doesn't become almost unbearable to you, your one tough son of a gum.<br /><br />FredAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-62744251804218438832014-11-20T06:47:13.098-08:002014-11-20T06:47:13.098-08:00That should have been "noted the same thing m...That should have been "noted the same thing many times" in the above post. Sorry, I really need to type these up on Word first to catch any errors before posting. --al Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-16851544687628423582014-11-20T06:44:37.464-08:002014-11-20T06:44:37.464-08:00This was certainly our case. And I can add that a...This was certainly our case. And I can add that as I've hung around forums like this one over at least a dozen years now - I've also noted that same them many times. My guess would be that many women who start out humoring their husband's odd little kink, end up enjoying the power of the paddle and all the attendant benefits that go with it. --alAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-62284155846267208082014-11-19T13:21:05.501-08:002014-11-19T13:21:05.501-08:00My experience with the former girlfriend who taugh...My experience with the former girlfriend who taught me about adult discipline was similar. The number of spankings were reduced as time went on and my behavior and especially attitude pleased her more. Although at the same time as I remember it the spankings became more severe and she added “extras” to the discipline that were not part of it originally. But if originally she spanked me twice a month (it might have been more often) eventually it was once every other month or so. Part of this may have been her very clear policy that spanking had a purpose and if they didn’t achieve that purpose she would punish me in other ways I would like a lot less so I had motivation to show progress. With my wife it has been different. Her behavior goals for me have been a process of stricter and stricter expectations especially since we married. While we were dating I could show up an hour late and she might laugh it off. Now 15 minutes late without a very good reason can trigger a major spanking. In other words she keeps moving the goal posts and she keeps demanding better and better behavior from me. I thrive on this and its part of the magic of discipline for us. But I am probably being spanked now as often as 10 years ago but not for the same things. I think I am a much better person and much happier but if you just counted the number of spanking you would think we made no progress<br />Alan<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-36458423013250245592014-11-19T09:45:20.997-08:002014-11-19T09:45:20.997-08:00Yes, it turns out she was - which was the most une...Yes, it turns out she was - which was the most unexpected thing of all! Seems that you just never know. --alAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-68113053069145846512014-11-19T09:09:54.564-08:002014-11-19T09:09:54.564-08:00Dan
Just so it is clear. That was a lovely moment,...Dan<br />Just so it is clear. That was a lovely moment, that gives me hope. I have however, been forced to punish him twice since then. But after all,he is a work in progress, as<br />am I.<br /><br />AnnaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-55857059825358471882014-11-18T18:11:28.415-08:002014-11-18T18:11:28.415-08:00Thanks, Fred. I definitely understand 2 an 3. On ...Thanks, Fred. I definitely understand 2 an 3. On 1, I've had the opposite experience. I've always had a weirdly high pain threshold, so no matter how hard her spankings are, I can't seem to get to a place where it just truly becomes unbearable and I lose control. On 4, I understand it theoretically. There are times when our DD activity has been sparse where I miss it, but it is really the imposition of boundaries and control that I miss, not the spankings themselves.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-89231639328740616372014-11-18T18:04:30.356-08:002014-11-18T18:04:30.356-08:00It's interesting that the spanking became more...It's interesting that the spanking became more effective with the emotion taken out of it. <br /><br />Thanks for contributing.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-24053364595180287412014-11-18T18:02:54.697-08:002014-11-18T18:02:54.697-08:00That's really great, Anna. Congratulations to ...That's really great, Anna. Congratulations to you both. Sounds like you both changed in very positive ways.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-41972442396461519982014-11-18T18:01:18.289-08:002014-11-18T18:01:18.289-08:00Thanks, Al. Sounds like your wife was a natural f...Thanks, Al. Sounds like your wife was a natural for the DD lifestyle.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-79330394832499643032014-11-18T18:00:18.148-08:002014-11-18T18:00:18.148-08:00I share the disaapointment that my behavior hasn&#...I share the disaapointment that my behavior hasn't changed as much as we had hoped. Though, in our case, both sides need to improve. I need to try harder to break bad habits and resist tempation, and she recognizes that she needs to be more rigorous and consistent in disciplining me when I don't.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-77934973667255067722014-11-18T14:28:58.572-08:002014-11-18T14:28:58.572-08:00Well said, Fred. I think most of that applied to ...Well said, Fred. I think most of that applied to my experience as well, especially number 1. In regard to the issue in number 4 - earning less spankings because our behavior improves as a result of being spanked, I believe that should be the case if you are honestly using the DWC lifestyle for life improvement. And I would guess that is why many of us, including my wife and I, utilize a periodic maintenance spanking (not quite as hard as a punishment spanking, but a real spanking) to maintain a sense of discipline in the marriage. I receive a weekly maintenance spanking - usually on Sunday evenings,but it could obviously be less often - biweekly or monthly perhaps. I have heard of daily but that does seem excessive. --al.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-35324589871903029972014-11-18T13:40:10.031-08:002014-11-18T13:40:10.031-08:00Some surprises/unexpected happenings.
1. My first...Some surprises/unexpected happenings.<br /><br />1. My first and subsequent punishment spankings burned and stung much more than I ever expected and were almost unbearable. Found out I wasn't as tough as I thought.<br />2. Nevertheless, when it was over, my first thought was thank God the paddling ended, but at the same time an appreciate of the fact my wife just did something for me and the betterment of our marriage and a show of her love for me. When others say you love your wife more after you've been disciplined, you really do.<br />3. Discipline reinforced my honest desire to improve my behavior and it did. But, I don't think husbands will improve if they don't really want to improve.<br />4. When you improve your behavior you are rarely spanked and when you have long periods without spanking, you actually miss being spanked. There is something about being spanked that turns on the sexual and romantic juices. It might be a solution to be spanked on New Years, Valentines Day, Anniversary and Birthday (not quite as hard) as a reminder of your love for each other. <br /><br />Fred<br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-82768756769758577292014-11-18T13:26:16.006-08:002014-11-18T13:26:16.006-08:00Off Topic: Just thought I would mention this to t...Off Topic: Just thought I would mention this to the group - there was a interesting episode on "Forever" - a new crime drama this season on ABC (with a bit of supernatural and a bit of Sherlock Holmes thrown in). It was on last Tuesday, so it may still be available online or the "on demand" type feature for those who have it. The episode featured a dominatrix character who "really got it" and with whom the main character became very intrigued. The episode did show some dungeon-esque items - restraints and whips and such - which is a bit more than DD and not our thing at our home, but the interesting thing was the way she described her service - as a therapist - especially one particular line about the pain she inflicted relieving the even worse pains her clients had within. -- Sorry about the "off topic" but since it was current, I thought i would pass it on. --alAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com