tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post112896676323846023..comments2024-03-28T06:38:35.203-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Forum - Vol. 200 - Humbling & ControllingDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-71871322672576457182017-08-09T16:11:48.989-07:002017-08-09T16:11:48.989-07:00My wife doesn't tend to make me adopt these po...My wife doesn't tend to make me adopt these postures during spanking, as humiliation is not the purpose (clearing the air is). I only tend to be bent slightly when leaning against the bed. Prior to and after pulling my pants down, I tend to be embracing her and hugging her tightly, expressing my dominance. I express it afterwards by doing it in the missionary position.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-995251883449303452017-04-13T01:33:06.695-07:002017-04-13T01:33:06.695-07:00A typo I'm afraid - nerves maybe? Should read ...A typo I'm afraid - nerves maybe? Should read Control & reset' which simply means she re-asserts her control by making all the usual demands which will (and did) result in me pants down, over the bed getting my lecture. Followed by the reset which this time consisted of her getting some practice with her new, short, very lady-like synthetic cane. Very effective followed by her old favourite London Tanner Irish Strap. A weapon which has my absolute respect. Needless to say I am both under control and reset. For now. TBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-62348857252369518592017-04-08T13:42:46.368-07:002017-04-08T13:42:46.368-07:00Hi Joe2. That is very gratifying to hear. I hope ...Hi Joe2. That is very gratifying to hear. I hope she enjoyed what she found here.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-9803851699323244232017-04-08T13:41:17.788-07:002017-04-08T13:41:17.788-07:00I would agree those would all be humbling!I would agree those would all be humbling!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-31143510377735842282017-04-08T13:40:29.356-07:002017-04-08T13:40:29.356-07:00Hate that stage of a move. And it seems to be sem...Hate that stage of a move. And it seems to be semi-perpetual.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-64516838231084068072017-04-08T13:39:55.162-07:002017-04-08T13:39:55.162-07:00Hi TB. You're going to have to explain to me t...Hi TB. You're going to have to explain to me the nature of a "control and rest" session.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-76634027912396856732017-04-08T04:07:02.669-07:002017-04-08T04:07:02.669-07:00I have been away with work all week, very busy. It...I have been away with work all week, very busy. It is a quiet Saturday morning and I have been instructed to 'amuse myself' for 10 minutes whilst she attends to some house chores. After which she will instruct me in a cheerful way to come to the bedroom for a 'control & rest' session. Sitting here at my PC I feel her invisible power like a loving cloak, knowing what is likely in store for me, knowing I probably deserve & will benefit from it but still feeling nervous, concerned and excited?. This is what we want after all but I know the actual session will be very uncomfortable, humbling, embarrassing and painful. TBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-15801616561525227142017-04-08T00:13:34.318-07:002017-04-08T00:13:34.318-07:00We're still surrounded by boxes,but I can see ...We're still surrounded by boxes,but I can see the light at the end.<br /><br />I don't have Shilo take a submissive posture with me anymore. Maybe we will get back to that.Merry Contraryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13605968415958113942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-29490200386000044492017-04-07T21:11:36.344-07:002017-04-07T21:11:36.344-07:00Some degree of "humbling" is inherent to...Some degree of "humbling" is inherent to any form of "disciplinary" action - whether in the form of scolding, or of an actual punishment. Being ordered to fetch the appropriate "tool", to lower my pants, to assume the required position (or to be ordered to wait for my punishment) all involve a measure of humiliation - as does, of course, the actual chastising (and the yelping, 'dancing' and begging it triggers!). And what to say about the aftermath!... Kneeling at her feet, thanking her for the punishment, being assigned some "corner time" only add to the "humbling" - not to mention the occasions when I am disciplined under the eyes of one of her friends, in a location (such as a hotel room) where we can be overheard - or, once in a while, when we get together with her sister, the two of them take turns at bruising my derrière!<br />L. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-58474752055994642492017-04-07T20:43:02.147-07:002017-04-07T20:43:02.147-07:00You say this in jest, but you are correct. You ar...You say this in jest, but you are correct. You are my electronic friends and family. But unless you live in DC, San Diego, Baltimore, or Chicago we shall never meet. Having said that, you have a blog like no other. You give a question and we answer. We answer because you set up a dialog that helps us brag, let each other know that we are not alone, help each other, and provide reflection.<br /><br />This is the only blog that my wife my wife feels comfortable with me making comments. This was not the case in the beginning. While we do not live a FLR, I gave her control over this aspect of my life. Her concern was that I was going to not be the person that she married. I actually had to force her to read your blog from then to now. Even after that, she still spent a week reflecting and then she told me to go ahead.<br /><br />You provide a very unique forum. Thank youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-46028532007906454462017-04-07T20:01:59.825-07:002017-04-07T20:01:59.825-07:00Well, you do talk about it weekly among your elect...Well, you do talk about it weekly among your electronic "friends and family" here!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-11887265140802277662017-04-07T17:24:52.733-07:002017-04-07T17:24:52.733-07:00Joe2 here,
I think that talking about the whole p...Joe2 here,<br /><br />I think that talking about the whole process is very important.. There is no outside feed back loop, no "app for that," nor are we going to discuss it amongst friends and family. Additionally, each one of us is different. I will give you an example.<br /><br />There was a period where my wife was becoming more controlling and domineering during the spanking. She was not disrespectful- but she was getting close. I said nothing for about the first three or four times, but it was getting worse. I finally brought it up and I found out that she had read on some blogs that this is what she should do, so she was slowly ramping it up. I don't want nipple clamps and a lady in a corset. What I want is the person that I love unwinding the spring that life has gotten too tight.<br /><br />As I mentioned earlier, she places her finger tips on my back to help her aim accurately, but it also helps me get to where we want to be. Without talking about what has happened, we might have missed a wonderful technique.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-36748238090735627142017-04-07T16:25:32.373-07:002017-04-07T16:25:32.373-07:00Hi Joe2. We have a similar "after action rep...Hi Joe2. We have a similar "after action report" discussion, in which we check in regarding how both of us feel about what happened.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-16273110985127725602017-04-07T16:05:02.859-07:002017-04-07T16:05:02.859-07:00Joe2 here,
Submissive gestures are very very impo...Joe2 here,<br /><br />Submissive gestures are very very important to me. I do not live in a FLR, so it is important to me to be in a submissive mind set when I get spanked or I do not obtain the full benefit of the spanking.<br /><br />We have kids, so spankings have to be planned. This helps, because it helps me to be mentally prepared.<br /><br />I am always in pajamas, because after the spanking, I will go to sleep in a pool of comforting endorphins being held by my wonderful wife. Also being in pajamas sets the stage of who is in charge.<br /><br />Before the spanking, I spend a few minutes alone, thinking of why I am there, what is going to happen and putting myself into a submissive mindset.<br /><br />When my wife comes into the room, I am very careful to not look into her eyes, I speak in a very respectful and soft voice. She always asks me why we are there and I always tell her that no matter what happens, she is in charge and I will never complain. Immediately before the spanking, I either chastely kiss her on the cheek or she kisses me on the forehead. After it is over, I always tell her thank you, I love her, and she comforts me.<br /><br />All of these elements, give me full benefit of the spanking. In a manner that neither of us expected, it has caused us to have a closer bond than we had before.<br /><br />When we first started, she was very uncomfortable being in control. One night, she told me that she wanted to try it in a matter fact manner- like getting a shot in the doctor's office- "get on the bed, "wack, wack, wack...." It was very unsatisfying. First, it was very clinical- I did not feel a connection with my wife. Second, my brain was not in a submissive mood, so I wanted to rebel- It hurt and I naturally wanted it to stop. I had to get myself in a submissive mood while I was receiving pain- I did it, but it was by sheer force of will. It took probably an extra minute of time to get into subspace; which means that we basically wasted two minutes of my wife's effort. Lastly, the aftercare did not reach the normal level of comfort that I crave. We almost always discuss the spanking later, kind of like an "after action report." Surprisingly, my wife was the one that first stated that she did not like the clinical approach. She felt no connection (in her own words she felt like a sex-worker) and as the spanking went on she got resentful and wanted it to end with every strike. She agreed that she needs for me to actively act submissive, for her to act dominant.<br /><br />One thing that my wife now does that started accidentally is that when she is striking me she places her finger tips on my lower back. We do not have spankings over the knee, because she does not have the strength to cause a serious burn in that position. I am almost always laying on the bed. One night she couldn't get her aim right, so she lightly placed her finger tips on my lower back, which helped her accurately place each strike. When she did that, I immediately became more submissive. Her touch was light, but mentally it was as if she had physically tied me to the bed posts. Later, I told her how effective her touch was and she has continued since.<br /><br />Lastly, during aftercare, if I do not fall asleep quickly, she will firmly (not harshly) use her fingernails to scratch my bottom (which of course really hurts) and tells me that she loves me and only wants the best for me. When this happens, I get another shot of endorphins.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-58433417011694365102017-04-06T15:44:57.903-07:002017-04-06T15:44:57.903-07:00Exactly. I'm never going to apologize for bei...Exactly. I'm never going to apologize for being efficient!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-18689284170217091792017-04-06T12:36:00.554-07:002017-04-06T12:36:00.554-07:00Yep! That's EXACTLY what Rosa does and says! (...Yep! That's EXACTLY what Rosa does and says! (I think I'm afflicted with the same ADD............but boy does it help me get a lot done!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-47281772406763516832017-04-06T07:52:10.910-07:002017-04-06T07:52:10.910-07:00I said in the post that my wife hasn't done mu...I said in the post that my wife hasn't done much along the lines of making me adopt a submissive posture, but your post reminds me that is not entirely true. She has done something similar to what you describe re: making you stand motionless. I describe myself as a consummate multi-tasker. Others probably describe it less charitably as adult ADD or just a woefully short attention span. In any case, she has from time to time given me a stern, "Stand still and look at me!" command when my attention has wandered as she was trying to say something she saw as important.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-68796536277423429072017-04-06T05:51:18.441-07:002017-04-06T05:51:18.441-07:00OK as to the question at hand.....we have a very s...OK as to the question at hand.....we have a very simple routine thing we do on weekends that occurs through either one of us initiating it: After I make Rosa her beloved coffee and bring it to her in bed, she will sip it as she goes through her electronic news and messages while lay next to her in the opposite direction and kiss and snuggle with her feet. <br /><br />The thing that is interesting about this simple act is how differently it is taken or even feels for me on any given morning. Sometimes it's just a nice way to relax humbly "at her feet", while other times it will prompt her to be more playful and sort of tease and mush my face with her toes while I'm kissing them. Other times, she may even reach over and tease my privates...........which may lead to more or just serve as its own thing. And amid these various activities the moods evked change as well from mere contentment to a crazed passionate devotion.<br /><br />The only other "posture thing" that Rosa does that I hate but do anyway because she seems to get off on it, is that at times when she is talking to me about something and I'm in one of my impatient 'got-to-get-things-done' moods, she will INSIST that I stand motionless in front of her and look at her as she addresses me..... rather than talking to me as I scurry about doing various things. I understand why she likes it, but boy do I hate when she does that! It does send a clear message though.<br /><br />I can't say we have any posture for punishment though...........unless you consider face down over a lap a 'posture'? ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-61671586803915278032017-04-06T05:40:04.340-07:002017-04-06T05:40:04.340-07:00I'm not sure why but my blog....which only get...I'm not sure why but my blog....which only gets about 1/3 of the comments you get (or less) has been getting fewer comments from trusted regulars as well. It is a phenomenon that frustrates due to exactly what you said: there's no way of knowing WHY.<br /><br />Take heart. You have a great resource here that people can actually use to help them better their own relationship. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-10634140662440107812017-04-05T08:12:04.885-07:002017-04-05T08:12:04.885-07:00Hi Alan. You're right that the number of comm...Hi Alan. You're right that the number of comments have been going down, though it may have as much to do with Spring Break vacations as moderator controls and screening, as it seemed to be coming down even before I turned the moderator controls back on.<br /><br />Honestly, I have mixed feelings about it. We seem to have lost a couple of regulars (Anna and Peter), and I don't know whether they were offended at something, or are on vacation, or having some kind of personal difficulties. It is a reminder to me that as much as anonymous electronic relationships sometimes seem like a substitute for the real thing, they really aren't, because you really have no way of knowing what is going on in the other person's "real" life. But, whatever the cause of their silence, it does bother me when we lose people who was really contributing to the conversation. But, that may be just the way it is with blogs. When I go back and look at the first year of postings to this blog, very few of the people who were commenting back then still are now.<br /><br />On the other hand, in the last year or so the daily readership on the blog has probably doubled, but I can't say that the number of real contributors -- people who actually leave on-point comments on a regular basis -- has really increased much at all, let alone in linear fashion. At the same time, the number of troll comments I have to delete, and the silly, repetitive "My mother-in-law spanked me and my bottom stung and then I faced the wall and her girlfriends saw me . . ." drivel seems to increase at least as much as the number of real contributors. Frankly, in my real life I've always been one of those guys who, when I go to a big party, tends to find a quiet corner in which to talk to two or three close friends. I prefer having a high-quality conversation with people like yourself and our "regulars" to wading through 70 or so comments that do little or nothing to advance the conversation or genuinely explore the ups and downs, challenges and triumphs of these DD and FLR lifestyles that some are genuinely practicing or attracted to. So, while participation down, I'm not going to sweat it too much. Though, I do agree that Google's robo screens are a total pain in the ass.<br /><br />Honestly, my biggest concern for the blog, the participants and myself is just burn-out. Does there come some point where everything to say about this topic has been said and when every topic seems old even if I rotate them through only every year or so.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-59603742275014007712017-04-05T07:36:48.479-07:002017-04-05T07:36:48.479-07:00Dan,
Good topic and one I want to think more about...Dan,<br />Good topic and one I want to think more about Non verbal communications are probably the main way she exerts her authority other than administering corporal punishment and of course scolding. Some of the things she does include forcing eye contact when we are out socially silently warning me off forbidden behavior. Also when she takes down my pants I am supposed to fold my hands over my head immediately and show no resistance. If I am ordered to take them down myself I am supposed to stand to attention as soon as they are around my ankles.Also non verbal is the way she puts her hands on her hips when scolding and grabs me by the ear or hair ( hate that) to drag me to the spanking room.Pointing to the corner either before or sometimes after a spanking is all non verbal and especially powerful for me are the hand spanks she delivers while I am being led to a spanking or while in the corner. These hand spanks have always puzzled me because I imagine as most guys an actual OTK hand spanking can only be erotic. OTK she needs a brush or paddle to make it punishment. But I do experience the hand spanks particularly in the corner as disciplinary and they do a lot to put me under control. One thing she doesn't want is for me to ever kneel in front of her ( although I sometimes do corner time on my knees) In none of these things do I ever feel demeaned or disrespected but only that she is exercising her authority which we both want and both benefit from greatly<br />Alan <br />PS - notice the number of comments going down and wonder if its not the moderator controls PLUS the google robo screens that seem to be more than necessary and possibly discouraging to some. Could be just me but thought I would mention it. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-6428668621661139062017-04-03T16:17:32.911-07:002017-04-03T16:17:32.911-07:00CrimsonKing, thanks for the topic ideas! I will w...CrimsonKing, thanks for the topic ideas! I will work those in.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-76078475692386395892017-04-02T10:02:54.478-07:002017-04-02T10:02:54.478-07:00Hi Blaze. Definitely a lot of enforced humbling g...Hi Blaze. Definitely a lot of enforced humbling going on there. Thanks for sharing.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-87704706926313599462017-04-02T10:01:53.302-07:002017-04-02T10:01:53.302-07:00Hi CrimsonKing. Thanks for the congratulations on ...Hi CrimsonKing. Thanks for the congratulations on 200 posts. It is something of a milestone. The hard part about 200 posts is coming up with anything that hasn't already been discussed to death. Hopefully you all will keep helping me out with that.<br /><br />It's interesting that your wife would like you to be more silent, while most of us get grief for not being more communicative. Just goes to show, you can't win. :-)Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-17011702291260636652017-04-02T10:00:04.049-07:002017-04-02T10:00:04.049-07:00Hi L. I assume this was meant for last week's...Hi L. I assume this was meant for last week's post?Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com