tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66992660889238683732024-03-18T16:22:14.354-07:00The Disciplinary Couples ClubA forum for Disciplined Husbands and Disciplinary Wives to share their thoughts regarding Domestic Discipline and Female Led Relationships. No offense to our friends in the Femdom, BDSM and Master-slave communities, but that's not really what this blog is about.
This site is for adults only and includes adult content. If you are not an adult or are offended by such material, please leave now.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger579125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-35258669483366778012024-03-16T10:27:00.000-07:002024-03-16T10:27:28.188-07:00The Club - Meeting 470 - Interrogation, Probing, and Monitoring <p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“He explained to me
with great insistence that every question possessed a power that did not lie in
the answer.” ― Elie Wiesel, Night</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you all had a good
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mine was pretty good, though we
experienced one of those spring storms that kept us mostly holed up inside our
house for a couple of days. Unfortunately, that led to a little too much time
on social media and interacting on-line with some folks I’m involved with on a
local political issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s a result
of thirty years in a profession that was all about persuasive communication,
but I really hate people whose go-to moves are chest-beating and name-calling.
Perhaps, down the road, I’ll ask Anne to help me deal with losing my temper
on-line, but not yet . . .</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx59J7f4HAHVQKvj9LOCX-7kGRNcmXMJxbhDjp4hZ4xIy8PkHysseeaIioHdm3h_SUmLteNGZ1Iw2aWiou9KXd26RJYysJN3UCR2O4zrElUMjPjSRrhDvENhRkGFSKCVAf5lsYW3W-bnheRWgU1wL_IYbvZfeyWus2mIdo3HKxBNLSStb4DqQAWP3bmo3x/s3840/Quotefancy-2871376-3840x2160.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="3840" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx59J7f4HAHVQKvj9LOCX-7kGRNcmXMJxbhDjp4hZ4xIy8PkHysseeaIioHdm3h_SUmLteNGZ1Iw2aWiou9KXd26RJYysJN3UCR2O4zrElUMjPjSRrhDvENhRkGFSKCVAf5lsYW3W-bnheRWgU1wL_IYbvZfeyWus2mIdo3HKxBNLSStb4DqQAWP3bmo3x/w400-h225/Quotefancy-2871376-3840x2160.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">That was a great discussion
last week, on what I thought would be a pretty mundane topic. Right out of the
gate, Antonio took my “DD and health” topic in a direction I hadn’t been
thinking about when I wrote the topic, namely DD and mental health.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s how he described the effects of his
wife’s use of DD to address his depressive tendencies:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Now the amazing thing is
that when she has finished disciplining me, my depression has completely
lifted, and my unpleasant attitude has been replaced with a burning desire to
please her. I don't know what a therapist would say, but I don't care because it
works for us. She usually follows this with lighter preventative DD for the
next few days just to "keep my mind right."</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I can't explain it or why
it works but it has made a major difference in our life. It has allowed me to
stop taking antidepressants and instead of going into a two-week slide down the
vortex of depression and then having to climb out, it is over in 10 minutes.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I cannot overstate what a
difference this has made in our life. She has said a number of times that she
wished she had known about this 30 years ago.”</span></i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As for what a therapist might
say about it, my retort is: “Whatever works.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Near the end of the week’s
discussion, Alan had this to say regarding a comment by Ward regarding
confession:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Ward said: “I will
confess if she asks…. Believe me, I know better than to fail to tell her the
truth.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This may be a separate
topic, but I wonder how common it is for wives or girlfriends to ask regularly,
during scolding, or while having a “discussion,” etc., about behavior she may
not have witnessed. Both women who have disciplined me have used versions of it
and it is a game changer for me when used to work on a particular behavior.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Like Ward, I confess if
she directly asks about behavior that I would never self-report. Lying of any
kind is not an option when she asks. Part of it is just the insanity of being
untruthful when I have asked for discipline, and part of it is just the utter
power she assumes in asking: “Have you been obedient?”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">But the greatest impact on
me comes from the message that she cares about the behavior and will use her
authority to control or stop it. Caring about the behavior is why I respond so
positively to being asked. If a woman wants to modify male behavior-- making
her expectations clear and then asking regularly if he has been obedient—is a
sure path to success ( at least if the culprit is me).”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-E_Lgak9pkQpgkHQYVnnHGjRYDFf2aHrFiiQv_nbIrMxIAryu_ejqIhGjxcw1ARsZbc22loYb9KYRemBn0SXniXmTsHHBKENmzmaveYSxLjU2Z3XSqLLN2Hl5ylPLfn5VApx4HKdI6YQO00URmPBuyD_iGWpFChBqsmIsltoNImaZ5Qfyd2QorbFHTYWp/s320/369.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="277" data-original-width="320" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-E_Lgak9pkQpgkHQYVnnHGjRYDFf2aHrFiiQv_nbIrMxIAryu_ejqIhGjxcw1ARsZbc22loYb9KYRemBn0SXniXmTsHHBKENmzmaveYSxLjU2Z3XSqLLN2Hl5ylPLfn5VApx4HKdI6YQO00URmPBuyD_iGWpFChBqsmIsltoNImaZ5Qfyd2QorbFHTYWp/w400-h346/369.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Alan’s observations were
well-timed, because I had actually been planning to do a topic about “interrogation,”
i.e. about a wife actively probing to discover bad behavior that may have gone
unwitnessed and unreported. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It was on my mind because of
the check-in process Anne and I have been working on. (I’ve been planning to
blog about it, but its implementation was paused for a bit because of my
illness issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We also have some big
family events and travel coming up, which are likely to get in the way of some
momentum building. But, more to come.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
originally conceived, our check-ins were focused on helping me get “unstuck”
regarding some life goals. But, we’ve been talking about broadening them to
include a more general check-in on my behavior, including her asking me
something like: “Is there anything <i>you </i>think you should be spanked for?”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiylz4PE334ZhjrxtFdjgGnFKrd8bQdmQ_AmZwmP4GHMZdVySE1tkMCIWVmzu72bD4iRvOJXiUkWJky1jbG-0BG-RB3cEaNu7ZWefLvGpsMkxDyyqAG-WQobdTe9xhcHFCqy0SiX71Jtnrsfk_F-JsnQWPK0DjTZ-YnrxI3zABrPCRDn4x9igLX0jzuDG2_/s600/tumblr_p8fmhsSCbb1tg0fb5o1_640.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiylz4PE334ZhjrxtFdjgGnFKrd8bQdmQ_AmZwmP4GHMZdVySE1tkMCIWVmzu72bD4iRvOJXiUkWJky1jbG-0BG-RB3cEaNu7ZWefLvGpsMkxDyyqAG-WQobdTe9xhcHFCqy0SiX71Jtnrsfk_F-JsnQWPK0DjTZ-YnrxI3zABrPCRDn4x9igLX0jzuDG2_/w400-h266/tumblr_p8fmhsSCbb1tg0fb5o1_640.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This would be a new thing for
us. We’ve talked (and talked, and talked) about having some kind of check-in process,
but it’s never really taken hold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Similarly, Anne has never been big on actively probing for misbehavior
or rule-breaking that she doesn’t personally witness, though immediately before a spanking she does sometimes ask me to recount why it is about to happen.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizwTZnIT7QAUHZcmEEJ2YVg6pyuGUUOK2qFaGr55a-sQ8iJxGo6xxJwjSm4i3UYLXpVBPLhQ-HXfKaPelGKZLoqJ_LDc9aTXvoEKhIDRfjkBA_b17o8NqSFf4zR5-CglXetd05zVeO_3kab8zQmP8GWo5ciJ7-fG4Az3F6EiFimUjqGB3oHgtBtWEkcKlj/s750/tumblr_9919c970ba70c4d9178fd64a0a5d6555_83c83779_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="498" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizwTZnIT7QAUHZcmEEJ2YVg6pyuGUUOK2qFaGr55a-sQ8iJxGo6xxJwjSm4i3UYLXpVBPLhQ-HXfKaPelGKZLoqJ_LDc9aTXvoEKhIDRfjkBA_b17o8NqSFf4zR5-CglXetd05zVeO_3kab8zQmP8GWo5ciJ7-fG4Az3F6EiFimUjqGB3oHgtBtWEkcKlj/w424-h640/tumblr_9919c970ba70c4d9178fd64a0a5d6555_83c83779_500.jpg" width="424" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In preparing this topic, I looked
through the old Disciplinary Wives Club website materials, because I thought
there was something on there encouraging wives to very aggressively monitor and
probe for bad behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I imagined
it, because if it’s on there I couldn’t find it. But, I did find these snippets
of advice to the wives in one of the DWC publications:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Discipline should have a
positive effect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a waste of your
time to continually address the same situation, and it also undermines your
authority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The best way to make sure you
are succeeding in bringing a change about is by being very specific about what
you expect to see and closely monitoring for the results.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Just like you would
closely supervise a child to make sure that they were practicing the correct
habits you sought to instill in them, you must do this with your husband as
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is especially true until he
has earned your trust by showing you that he does keep his promises.”</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiENslgkfO4SnH19EExMAPF78jPP7nggzFTArx_W8R3vyqV0rSqNynUU_MPN1XYR40kiB1CXVBtWEhSalmsLfjTOcu5qYukmx6qxnOWEKKbzHWhqy4CzzM5iSf7Mb-zPlfMc-1akZlzAxVDldXZKTmG4wWZX17BfiqnnZNM6IoymKYB0UZVVb3HYmcipDbF/s1920/tumblr_9952e2e4359f3621d8bcc1413b8dbe75_c4639864_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1244" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiENslgkfO4SnH19EExMAPF78jPP7nggzFTArx_W8R3vyqV0rSqNynUU_MPN1XYR40kiB1CXVBtWEhSalmsLfjTOcu5qYukmx6qxnOWEKKbzHWhqy4CzzM5iSf7Mb-zPlfMc-1akZlzAxVDldXZKTmG4wWZX17BfiqnnZNM6IoymKYB0UZVVb3HYmcipDbF/w414-h640/tumblr_9952e2e4359f3621d8bcc1413b8dbe75_c4639864_1280.jpg" width="414" /></a></i></div><i><br /></i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">And this:</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Your success begins with
the cultivation of your skills of observation. The more you are aware of what
your husband is doing, the less likely it is that you will find yourself losing
control. As a DWC wife you are absolutely entitled to ask your husband about
anything you want to know and to expect an honest answer. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Sure you may get
resistance, just like from any bad boy who doesn’t want to tell. But, he has
asked for a DWC relationship, he really wants one, and deep down inside he does
want to tell you everything.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">If you have had the
responsibility for supervising or raising children at any time, you will recall
that it took extra alertness to always be aware of where they were and what
they were doing. If you haven’t had that kind of experience don’t worry about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just go along with me now and you will get
the idea anyway.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">She offered the men some
closely-related guidance on accepting authority:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">You will have to put up
with closer supervision than you are used to and she will demand answers and
evidence of your performance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
perfectly normal and how it is supposed to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you feel resentful about this, or don’t want that kind of
accountability, remember how maternal discipline occurs in a “child -parent”
situation. The child simply cannot wiggle out of his Mother’s watchful eye. If
you are honest with yourself, you will admit that when you get your spankings,
it is that bratty little boy part of you who is getting it.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As I said, monitoring,
probing, and interrogation have never been a big part of our DD lifestyle,
though we seem to be moving more in that direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, I know myself well enough to predict
that if we do, I probably will resent it as it is happening, just as Aunt Kay warned. But, it also will
probably prove to be a very important part of both reinforcing the hierarchy
and emphasizing the “maternal” element that we are both increasingly
comfortable admitting is a thing for both of us.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Regarding staying aware of
what I’m doing, journaling is a part of it, though it’s more about giving her better
visibility into what I’m thinking and feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, there is one way in which does do some active monitoring:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She made me enable my “Find My iPhone” app settings
so she can see where my phone is at all times and, hence, monitor where I
am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though, back when I was working I
quickly figured out that, while the app does a great job of tracking horizontal
movement from one location to another, it can’t do vertical.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hence, it couldn’t tell her when I’d gone to
happy hour with the team, as long as we went to the bar that was
15 floors below our office in the same building!</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Of course, as Alan points
out, actively probing for misbehavior works only if the husband replies
honestly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I admit, I don’t have a
perfect track record. On occasion, she’s asked me how many drinks I had after
going out with a friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would almost
always turn it into a joke and claim to have had one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, technically, I wasn’t telling the truth.
But, does it count as a lie when she knows it’s one and you know she knows?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBnOdIezOKgaTCJRdcF5KIGgX89pnvl3UI4CdjElxZgGQKYW00hs_T-92-ZkvJEVxmY-vLmBu0mKT4MJxjte_YqUQVVf6d9MtguU0rh5CJ4mfDu846LI9KGRwwvGvGuVG9UO1PfTUNtoJMHputQ__pghYJi3qjmFMv8tLLZvF9VAP-Y6qf15Obt0uySjGP/s400/tumblr_c16816b6c620b8044a4e50a8ef35fbcb_68f0c6d1_400.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="392" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBnOdIezOKgaTCJRdcF5KIGgX89pnvl3UI4CdjElxZgGQKYW00hs_T-92-ZkvJEVxmY-vLmBu0mKT4MJxjte_YqUQVVf6d9MtguU0rh5CJ4mfDu846LI9KGRwwvGvGuVG9UO1PfTUNtoJMHputQ__pghYJi3qjmFMv8tLLZvF9VAP-Y6qf15Obt0uySjGP/w393-h400/tumblr_c16816b6c620b8044a4e50a8ef35fbcb_68f0c6d1_400.jpeg" width="393" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I have to imagine the biggest
impediment to a wife following Aunt Kay’s advice is a lack of confidence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we first began our DD lifestyle twenty
years ago, I’m not sure Anne had the confidence to actively push my buttons by
probing for information in the way Kay suggests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, with twenty years of both DD and life
experience, I think she is much more comfortable going into “strict teacher” mode
to ferret out the information she wants.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How about you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How actively does your wife probe for
information regarding your behavior or interrogate you to assess how well you
have obeyed her rules? Is there any additional or different consequence for not owning up when asked?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj941sC5mknRIMJQXpEE108mkcTutVwBTVeNB6wfKMVi6ZnzsdBr7SCzQxDLtrP1Ms3KZpnRJW-nJ_yJhwoHInxJMs_PMg0K7LBGkykls92YAatVTREzppnfHGuh1YGCCXcPFmK8aiDO86q7LvrX24gpV2PFs3-fzgJFHmCcfBVPwm9rjX0TE5vanoK7Ow/s714/tumblr_oso0ottz7X1ulkwvdo1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="714" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj941sC5mknRIMJQXpEE108mkcTutVwBTVeNB6wfKMVi6ZnzsdBr7SCzQxDLtrP1Ms3KZpnRJW-nJ_yJhwoHInxJMs_PMg0K7LBGkykls92YAatVTREzppnfHGuh1YGCCXcPFmK8aiDO86q7LvrX24gpV2PFs3-fzgJFHmCcfBVPwm9rjX0TE5vanoK7Ow/w448-h640/tumblr_oso0ottz7X1ulkwvdo1_500.png" width="448" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">If any wives would like to
weigh in, I would love to hear what your approach has been and, to the extent
you actively probe for misbehavior or disobedience, is that something you had
to grow into over time?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Have a great week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An advance warning that we are going to be
traveling this week, so I may be less engaged with the comments than normal.</span></p>
<p><style>@font-face
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-12630781706919971612024-03-11T11:34:00.000-07:002024-03-11T11:34:01.580-07:00The Club - Meeting 469 - DD and Healthy Living<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Get comfortable with
being uncomfortable!” - Jillian Michaels</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As previously announced, I
wasn’t planning to post this week. But, I seem to have recovered enough from my
bout of illness that I can string some semi-coherent thoughts together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, in an indication of how fuzzy my
thinking process had been, it turns out we aren’t traveling this week but,
rather, next week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is such a good
thing that I have a smart Disciplinary Wife who actually can use a calendar
without screwing it up.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">There’s not a lot to highlight
from last week’s discussion, which is probably to be expected for a topic that
focused on the relatively narrow issue of instruments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, sometimes a particular comment
resonates with me enough to call it to everyone’s attention in case they missed
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last week, it was this from Mark, in
discussing the cane:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><i>“Very
like at school though, the ritual is compelling. You voluntarily bend over with
both of you knowing that you are about to experience extreme pain, that your
bottom is going to be marked with red hot raised welts, and that you will have
visible bruising that will make sitting uncomfortable for a week. And then it
starts.”</i></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In just three sentences, he perfectly
captured what a real disciplinary session is like for many of us. What jumped
out to be was the “with both of your knowing . . .” line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you get a true disciplinary punishment
for the first time, you may not understand what you’re in for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, you sure do afterward. And, for each
session after that, you voluntarily submit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Similarly, the wife knows what it is she is about to deliver but also
that it is beneficial and needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Great
stuff. Something about the respective postures of the couple in this drawing by Leondardo seems to me to exemplify two parties who are fully aware of the seriousness of what she is about to deliver and he is about to take.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidsCQ4uMbJ5cSYNDysgmsMhRckbgE0cUn1T9S8y4CY-g11C-0eRQMIL4dvoX8aeL-xfBRbatknDMZQh-7Rmc5uYGLG7Y1w_pSn_HDDBrE4I31Y13EuwWBldfkbn7M3XTfGnWk9XxhfkGH06P31VCPkewtMSQxqRlg4NVCbW5F7YkpjNIaD80RBDam1ojf4/s410/hh16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="389" data-original-width="410" height="380" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidsCQ4uMbJ5cSYNDysgmsMhRckbgE0cUn1T9S8y4CY-g11C-0eRQMIL4dvoX8aeL-xfBRbatknDMZQh-7Rmc5uYGLG7Y1w_pSn_HDDBrE4I31Y13EuwWBldfkbn7M3XTfGnWk9XxhfkGH06P31VCPkewtMSQxqRlg4NVCbW5F7YkpjNIaD80RBDam1ojf4/w400-h380/hh16.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As I mentioned when
announcing I wasn’t going to post this week, I was struggling with an episodic
health issue that I’ve had for well over a decade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrote about<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>it a bit back in 2021, when I was transitioning out of my career:</span></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“So,
life is getting back to normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Unfortunately, so is some of my bad behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After many weeks of relative temperance, I fell
off the wagon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To some extent, that’s
happening because I’ve been in the process of transitioning away from work and
that has itself led to a surge in socializing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, I do not want my new normal to look like my old normal. And,
honestly, I really can’t let it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
years I’ve had to deal periodically with some nagging health issues, basically
a constellation of “chronic fatigue” or fibromyalgia-like symptoms, with periodic
bouts of fatigue, joint pain, digestive problems, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The irritating thing is, lately even when I
am relatively good on average, if I have one slip-up on diet or drinking or
exercise, everything seems to go to shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s like I must live like a Buddhist monk just to have a shot at
feeling somewhat healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really is
irritating as all fuck, though I suspect I have myself to blame, thanks to burning
the candle at both ends for so many years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even back in high school I was living like I was on borrowed time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suspect when you spend 40 years digging an
energetic hole, it takes more than a few months of relatively healthy behavior
to pull yourself back out again.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimSk0ex-BWZNFaLa9kRLvdwhnfagcEojmEt6gognLoQyWznBctywEx8MgW0SAXs-5_hKcNSQobTzrbGpB_4Gm83KVneiFsASav9h-3nButcCOtcVKrEvn-QfdPElHULBK_ClwpIFFUtEIvgA5AmJJ8CquqTd8s4OAUaWbzJ8JoB3OyTkYZYdUeyDHeyPmQ/s400/IMG_5850.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="332" data-original-width="400" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimSk0ex-BWZNFaLa9kRLvdwhnfagcEojmEt6gognLoQyWznBctywEx8MgW0SAXs-5_hKcNSQobTzrbGpB_4Gm83KVneiFsASav9h-3nButcCOtcVKrEvn-QfdPElHULBK_ClwpIFFUtEIvgA5AmJJ8CquqTd8s4OAUaWbzJ8JoB3OyTkYZYdUeyDHeyPmQ/w400-h333/IMG_5850.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br /> I could get down on myself
and say that the more things change, the more they stay the same. But, getting off
the 24/7 work hamster wheel did help. I no longer have quite as stark a choice
between living like a monk or suffering the consequences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, I don’t really know whether this time it
was some lifestyle flubs that led to a flare-up. I did have one day where I had
too many beers and ate too many fatty, unhealthy meals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I was starting to feel “off” even before
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">However, I can’t help
wondering whether, with better behavior resulting from stricter discipline, I
might have avoided the problem altogether.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3nWX7C4JAKIpSSJ2DTzKQu7VawX4d6iNrLAmOyih-Rf4bw1UJFNDUc3QGKLVXzUlRDVI1bPt0BI4S0-r2R3Jv3Mcs7gTpzEeXvOlBNPZaLEo_DiKygn3ngH5zD4k6YRWFZurPWvF0_BOMhngazOv7XVDW9By9C4jvtILF6nqITKrLu5dKlZEN7YnnLaCx/s725/tumblr_69891d2e055d7de637930dba1962d271_461f2199_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="725" data-original-width="495" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3nWX7C4JAKIpSSJ2DTzKQu7VawX4d6iNrLAmOyih-Rf4bw1UJFNDUc3QGKLVXzUlRDVI1bPt0BI4S0-r2R3Jv3Mcs7gTpzEeXvOlBNPZaLEo_DiKygn3ngH5zD4k6YRWFZurPWvF0_BOMhngazOv7XVDW9By9C4jvtILF6nqITKrLu5dKlZEN7YnnLaCx/w437-h640/tumblr_69891d2e055d7de637930dba1962d271_461f2199_500.jpg" width="437" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It’s in that vein that I bring
up something ZM said that I highlighted in that blog entry back in 2021:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“DD
for health-related things is a very good idea. While it might seem a bit
extreme to give a spanking for missing a pill or two, often these small
patterns are what ultimately lead to poor health. An extra piece of cake or two
here, not getting enough exercise this week because life got busy, not taking
medicine when needed, etc. Since the marriage long term kind of requires both
partners to be alive, I think it is a totally valid use of DD to help ensure
that your spouse will be around for many happy and healthy years to come.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">So, that’s the topic for this
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you used domestic discipline
to foster better health?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">If so, how exactly did you go
about doing it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What kind of system, if
any, did you put in place?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How did you track compliance? Was it reliant on self-reporting, or were there other ways for her to track how you were doing?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9brYHEncuwf6BO-kaYx1MeYptMJtTsR-lTeABQnkDe9648t_3_LITVU1eMrgnPLxUTNmDDN3e_Hz2ctfdmc57v972bwgnwT8T7LNCxgv2tO79_QQe8T4gckdNq_L1DR-tWbzh93srNtSObV5Gy4d8q97WvaaVZqcmriauhpOMnZ7GoLTfrlDqTLqc-qY3/s508/tumblr_o0pnu5v7f71ulkwvdo1_400.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="508" data-original-width="353" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9brYHEncuwf6BO-kaYx1MeYptMJtTsR-lTeABQnkDe9648t_3_LITVU1eMrgnPLxUTNmDDN3e_Hz2ctfdmc57v972bwgnwT8T7LNCxgv2tO79_QQe8T4gckdNq_L1DR-tWbzh93srNtSObV5Gy4d8q97WvaaVZqcmriauhpOMnZ7GoLTfrlDqTLqc-qY3/w444-h640/tumblr_o0pnu5v7f71ulkwvdo1_400.jpeg" width="444" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Was the focus on health
inputs, <i>e.g.,</i> diet, exercise, taking medication, etc.?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Or, was it more results-oriented,
like getting punished if you didn’t take off enough weight or didn’t succeed in
lowering cholesterol or blood pressure? I know I have a tendency to focus on whether I've "followed the rules," i.e. did I work out, did I eat healthy, often to find the scale didn't budge. Let's face it, we often have a tendency to cheat or slack off, or we aren't properly motivated to discover what actually budges the needle for us. So, maybe it would be better to take a "bottom line" approach, assessing whether the goals were actually met?<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilKgt81AI7zJauJlLHPL7ihFasfzSBeiFGn1A-HNVt_r3x59xlFkgUcFF0iTTEFTx6b4dEleexDgvPCwURXwXhEOF329tLlqXSEg2Ge37mrNRtRlslnvA81foWnHjJXmWbXXOy0Wg3EM61wVlM-lLtwuTwZ4lwqTfpdcTEZ6TF_o-XGepGsUxZCikz37u9/s400/scolded.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="301" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilKgt81AI7zJauJlLHPL7ihFasfzSBeiFGn1A-HNVt_r3x59xlFkgUcFF0iTTEFTx6b4dEleexDgvPCwURXwXhEOF329tLlqXSEg2Ge37mrNRtRlslnvA81foWnHjJXmWbXXOy0Wg3EM61wVlM-lLtwuTwZ4lwqTfpdcTEZ6TF_o-XGepGsUxZCikz37u9/w482-h640/scolded.jpeg" width="482" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">And, was using DD to address
health issues something you initiated, or did the idea come from her?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the big scheme of things, I agree with ZM
that a wife would be very justified in imposing such a system. There are all
sorts of fairly trivial things that a wife may decide to use DD to
address.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibAr276pWus9iYA37dzWE9yd_ZEWLk6-tur0B3hqLBvUBo9PM5ezkPxxrg1w1wcl72HtApLWNXWJQOuPI2QQLKbuHXOA_hT3P_c3QMCWoZJFWqhXWUywirbg-5kWDwuQu_wOC_KsQR9p44QJOjeHu5ntx7RbFgOOrm_HNm4o_Q5fJnpG9NO463lINDlyC1/s724/tumblr_o1u51p9Seu1ulkwvdo1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="439" data-original-width="724" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibAr276pWus9iYA37dzWE9yd_ZEWLk6-tur0B3hqLBvUBo9PM5ezkPxxrg1w1wcl72HtApLWNXWJQOuPI2QQLKbuHXOA_hT3P_c3QMCWoZJFWqhXWUywirbg-5kWDwuQu_wOC_KsQR9p44QJOjeHu5ntx7RbFgOOrm_HNm4o_Q5fJnpG9NO463lINDlyC1/w400-h243/tumblr_o1u51p9Seu1ulkwvdo1_1280.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I have to admit my own dietary
goals have often been as much about vanity as health, which is probably kind of pointless at this age. No matter how much I exercise, I doubt there is a new career was an underwear model in my future.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf66eGMT8KcGDw9rDO49Fd1VOxo8rbZr2AboEAYmZV2aav0or5k7W9I798LIl5S80OIpnHFVwZ81c6ZWMMckISI6IoEnSzLHDQ-W989wye5xF76fY5YKJbo1BvJaGwxtdI1RI1NsGN0f1fCP3ebc4roKYFiuS0ZDbLU_sTOzTxAwczsSn1-Py3WgPBVVH1/s740/drunks_and_drunk_memes_640_29.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="416" data-original-width="740" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf66eGMT8KcGDw9rDO49Fd1VOxo8rbZr2AboEAYmZV2aav0or5k7W9I798LIl5S80OIpnHFVwZ81c6ZWMMckISI6IoEnSzLHDQ-W989wye5xF76fY5YKJbo1BvJaGwxtdI1RI1NsGN0f1fCP3ebc4roKYFiuS0ZDbLU_sTOzTxAwczsSn1-Py3WgPBVVH1/w640-h360/drunks_and_drunk_memes_640_29.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">But, doing what you can to
ensure your spouse is around for years to come seems like a very worthwhile
goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Aptos; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">I hope you have a great week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Before I go, speaking of healthy living . . .<br /><br /> </span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfh1j7CvZX1VdjHETT1xT0IiIet_iY86OyBlSmHLuOh6GGm3O100kLQb58nfuAm8P1V25qBcurL_ZvJbSe64ngrGvvKibuYUozgNFmvhXylwAhXBkJP8tNTQgEbFlG226pUAbsRRivT4iETcXh5NZh60g1GLH3uBxMWZAlS8ac4LKLcvbMGPmnDgD1iEj1/s320/29.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="292" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfh1j7CvZX1VdjHETT1xT0IiIet_iY86OyBlSmHLuOh6GGm3O100kLQb58nfuAm8P1V25qBcurL_ZvJbSe64ngrGvvKibuYUozgNFmvhXylwAhXBkJP8tNTQgEbFlG226pUAbsRRivT4iETcXh5NZh60g1GLH3uBxMWZAlS8ac4LKLcvbMGPmnDgD1iEj1/w365-h400/29.png" width="365" /></a></div><br />
<p></p><p><style>@font-face
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com49tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-75578473629686531372024-03-10T09:59:00.000-07:002024-03-10T09:59:12.964-07:00No post this week<p> Hello all. Happy Sunday. I've been under the weather going into this weekend, and we are traveling next week. So, I won't be posting. I hope you have a great week.</p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-63793121872130360852024-03-02T09:36:00.000-08:002024-03-02T09:36:56.383-08:00The Club -- Meeting 468 -- Cultural Influences on Spanking Instruments<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“The highest possible
stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our
thoughts.” - Charles Darwin</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you all had a great
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mine was OK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I obviously failed in my goal to post on
Friday instead of waiting ‘til the weekend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had done some writing in another area earlier in the day and was,
honestly, a little burned out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though,
my enthusiasm was rejuvenated later in the evening as I was re-watching the
streaming series Weeds on Hulu and came to this scene from season 4, episode 7. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7gWoL8PPUPk" width="320" youtube-src-id="7gWoL8PPUPk"></iframe></div><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Later, you see the main
character admiring the lingering hand marks in the mirror. There are a couple
of other very explicit spanking scenes in that series. One or more of the
writers or showrunners have a spanking thing for sure.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">We missed our scheduled
check-in under our new “performance improvement” system, but we now have
committed to doing them weekly, as opposed to my original plan for monthly
meetings. I’m still not quite ready to do a full post on it, because we haven’t
been operating under it that long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
will say, however, that Anne seems uncharacteristically enthusiastic and
committed to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say “uncharacteristically”
not as a dig, but simply in recognition of the fact that we have talked and
talked and talked over the years about her really taking over our whole DD
process and stepping up the overall level of control and strictness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past, all the talk never gelled into persistent
change. This feels . . . different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2YEoQfDTDYWdUEZuFlavSvbmdw01U_zMoS448Ju7-MWOk5VNvOCx4IOm816LfAkw550FvSXn9RLdzEaI9dEzOCRaKsU0r6q4aGhzAWv8-0B0qfV_E7n7GY8E7UOp_YA4Cx5IJWn4dODALwxrVMuEtUIbdRPoMFBGRB7NzWGoZUHHBJ-EMtwyXLt2bwa_j/s363/tumblr_c62c02c50e4fab25e3bba7f7c9ab9fd5_1c5688d8_400.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="363" data-original-width="273" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2YEoQfDTDYWdUEZuFlavSvbmdw01U_zMoS448Ju7-MWOk5VNvOCx4IOm816LfAkw550FvSXn9RLdzEaI9dEzOCRaKsU0r6q4aGhzAWv8-0B0qfV_E7n7GY8E7UOp_YA4Cx5IJWn4dODALwxrVMuEtUIbdRPoMFBGRB7NzWGoZUHHBJ-EMtwyXLt2bwa_j/w482-h640/tumblr_c62c02c50e4fab25e3bba7f7c9ab9fd5_1c5688d8_400.jpeg" width="482" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I don’t know why, but it may
be as simple as she has more time and fewer important distractions than she had
pre-retirement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, the attitude itself
seems different. Maybe it’s like KOJ’s wife dramatically asserting herself once
she was no longer concerned about her dominance negatively affecting her
career. Or, maybe it’s just the confidence that comes along with age?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who knows, but I do feel like it’s an
interesting transitional period we are going through.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_-CVbHhAp1Ez7O9LYwTVl6dGaE-hB7Y7Di5Jk3WQ5s1zE0-Tlwluvc6rmwEdTwd0mfQFqSKYuXLNC8jHVqBzL_cZlCuX912bJgo4W1xIJ46eE_ihFkRRZeX3SijvZx1zvrsTQtfWGypSlWOeDmkc_hbUy3h2kl-233Wvkm_3hKuSjFVxa2djh08abbXvI/s750/tumblr_4b875b8cd07d2f7345bea24235598cf1_d4b0ee75_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="702" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_-CVbHhAp1Ez7O9LYwTVl6dGaE-hB7Y7Di5Jk3WQ5s1zE0-Tlwluvc6rmwEdTwd0mfQFqSKYuXLNC8jHVqBzL_cZlCuX912bJgo4W1xIJ46eE_ihFkRRZeX3SijvZx1zvrsTQtfWGypSlWOeDmkc_hbUy3h2kl-233Wvkm_3hKuSjFVxa2djh08abbXvI/w375-h400/tumblr_4b875b8cd07d2f7345bea24235598cf1_d4b0ee75_1280.jpg" width="375" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It was a good discussion last
week, though I don’t have much to highlight from it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t go back and tally up the responses,
but it seems like the group is fairly evenly split between those who would
fulfill their fantasies if given the opportunity and those who prefer to keep
the fantasy and reality separate. At least with respect to Glenmore’s specific
example of a group spanking with multiple spankers and spankees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There seems to be a similar split on the
broader fantasy of witnesses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do wonder
why that one fantasy is so prevalent, but it clearly is.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This week’s topic is going to
be pretty succinct, because (a) I’m doing a bunch of other stuff this weekend; and
(b) I couldn’t think of a broader topic or a good way to expand this one.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It comes from an off-line
discussion with Al about some of our instrument preferences, which led to some
observations about how prevalent certain instruments were when and where we
grew up.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It does seem like certain
cultures prefer certain instruments, and I’m not sure whether any instrument is
ubiquitous across cultures.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3ejzSQ9elWA4apmukPYol2BpwkNaKLF_AxAeeXkHVHhc7PZ-bVc1O6UwKpdEzzqt_Z5oznVFf3wfWVvWTdpD0PrqOJAA6XlAEMXSgV12HfxUNt14pT8Zbalkj3nuUukGUMoH9TuUelx3QzAiY5jgTk7MjoRnkqWpYz27qbRb-a-uhcIl_twM3umq1eJI/s750/tumblr_6a9bfd236415c15033cb2bd8aad765d1_ff3d0b59_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="750" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3ejzSQ9elWA4apmukPYol2BpwkNaKLF_AxAeeXkHVHhc7PZ-bVc1O6UwKpdEzzqt_Z5oznVFf3wfWVvWTdpD0PrqOJAA6XlAEMXSgV12HfxUNt14pT8Zbalkj3nuUukGUMoH9TuUelx3QzAiY5jgTk7MjoRnkqWpYz27qbRb-a-uhcIl_twM3umq1eJI/w400-h223/tumblr_6a9bfd236415c15033cb2bd8aad765d1_ff3d0b59_1280.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">While the ebony hairbrush is,
to me, perhaps <i>the </i>most iconic instrument among DD enthusiasts, I don’t
think hairbrush spankings were common where I grew up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t recall knowing about a single
instance in which a hairbrush was used for spanking purposes, though of course
we were all embarrassed by the spankings we got—even though they were pervasive—and
we didn’t go around talking about the details.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In the communities I lived
in, the almost universally used instruments were paddles and belts. But, while
both were ubiquitous, they were used respectively in two very distinct
contexts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRkcAcMSb8mcGU43S97f_r9tJ1iRCD3hz5zrieyrL8E5iyqMYvhGr5fT9k3IDlEo5nmcmAucUQEj_Ywdu_h4iBqZ-dBAE6QlkMl4ZA3lYUZFR5JQd0uJ4WFug5n4Uz3BI1ikBSe6hqb-5XBtxp4EcTiE1Jr6WKjlJG04VWONh6mpPOy3pwLBLYdFo0Z9P5/s1920/tumblr_7ce5f59c10dc3be137bd5a7b3a3044f2_df3ab56f_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRkcAcMSb8mcGU43S97f_r9tJ1iRCD3hz5zrieyrL8E5iyqMYvhGr5fT9k3IDlEo5nmcmAucUQEj_Ywdu_h4iBqZ-dBAE6QlkMl4ZA3lYUZFR5JQd0uJ4WFug5n4Uz3BI1ikBSe6hqb-5XBtxp4EcTiE1Jr6WKjlJG04VWONh6mpPOy3pwLBLYdFo0Z9P5/w360-h640/tumblr_7ce5f59c10dc3be137bd5a7b3a3044f2_df3ab56f_1280.jpg" width="360" /></a></div><br />At home, the most common instrument
by far was the leather belt, wielded with authority by both moms and dads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, it usually was dad’s belt that was
used, and since it was a cowboy culture, they tended to be thick leather
western-style belts or heavy work belts.<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7i4G_w7IPKGxqpjLfJLYgX2WWgwFOfW8feh2K8raaQ-m2wpCu-04bDAj5kiKbsGzCJmchEh6R6P9mNIMxTm31k1lAdn1iJghFNUm2uA3edfwcZqcH378da5JPKDjhjF1v_dPGpBqn31pfzGmq3UZkTm9e6HZwD2s2bpKkFh9N6-f2nKXF8NF3uxU0kICQ/s320/tumblr_o650v7qWio1vquom7o1_400.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="320" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7i4G_w7IPKGxqpjLfJLYgX2WWgwFOfW8feh2K8raaQ-m2wpCu-04bDAj5kiKbsGzCJmchEh6R6P9mNIMxTm31k1lAdn1iJghFNUm2uA3edfwcZqcH378da5JPKDjhjF1v_dPGpBqn31pfzGmq3UZkTm9e6HZwD2s2bpKkFh9N6-f2nKXF8NF3uxU0kICQ/w400-h400/tumblr_o650v7qWio1vquom7o1_400.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">At school, it was the paddle,
to the exclusion of every other instrument.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, as far as I know, paddles were virtually never used at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not sure why that bifurcation existed,
but it did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe the absence of paddles
for home discipline came down to the fact that most of the men wore belts
daily, so there was almost always one readily available, so why invest in a
paddle?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9GMVVS9PlmgYE4ZRuNFMBiyAZQo1h7kFALxOL7FFooCTRDYbErCJf09jeb5s9BKR-h62A8gD-IHnxUpYKDWkWlSDGPw1CFDzeu5-DNg4zZFrTo8H-vwOuZvSr03QZdxGnjRLcjyLCBF54W2nYfazsKJynxejUs08ysy0QeP_aE-bVkB_jTPBFAPaUTeh0/s978/tumblr_818d639849f16e7a079818f2d45464ac_45d2f2f6_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="978" data-original-width="564" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9GMVVS9PlmgYE4ZRuNFMBiyAZQo1h7kFALxOL7FFooCTRDYbErCJf09jeb5s9BKR-h62A8gD-IHnxUpYKDWkWlSDGPw1CFDzeu5-DNg4zZFrTo8H-vwOuZvSr03QZdxGnjRLcjyLCBF54W2nYfazsKJynxejUs08ysy0QeP_aE-bVkB_jTPBFAPaUTeh0/w370-h640/tumblr_818d639849f16e7a079818f2d45464ac_45d2f2f6_1280.jpeg" width="370" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Al and my discussion focused
on switches.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were part of the
childhood experience for both him and his wife, but not at all for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps because of the differences in our experiences,
switches are still used for adult discipline in his relationship, while I’ve
never been switched.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonder if this is
another example of how geography matters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I grew up largely in the dry Southwest and sort of the Midwest depending
on how you define that. There weren’t a lot of large bushes around, so “Go cut a
switch and bring it to me” really would not have worked.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Kg2kcYEAiq-D9x7XfR1pi3kb9rGkp-iQwJSJPoy8420lORVDYEccn5jlR70-2u8i3U4iAsbvWnkxhOTSpa5G4Y4BBNGJScVexz-HaKkz6lbr7acsgviDPqmIsqMn_daGemaPzNvXNBZRjwY5WTSZpMHVd1Txmn13Fv_NxXdg4nMC8t_ix5xkCHhQv-GL/s723/tumblr_7dcf30d63db1786ae5bafc2a68753b98_9beb7f08_640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="723" data-original-width="596" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Kg2kcYEAiq-D9x7XfR1pi3kb9rGkp-iQwJSJPoy8420lORVDYEccn5jlR70-2u8i3U4iAsbvWnkxhOTSpa5G4Y4BBNGJScVexz-HaKkz6lbr7acsgviDPqmIsqMn_daGemaPzNvXNBZRjwY5WTSZpMHVd1Txmn13Fv_NxXdg4nMC8t_ix5xkCHhQv-GL/w330-h400/tumblr_7dcf30d63db1786ae5bafc2a68753b98_9beb7f08_640.jpg" width="330" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Canes seem to me to be a very
culturally-dependent instrument of correction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are iconic to the English, but are they very prevalent in the US in
any non-adult setting, and perhaps, while used for DD, mainly among the BDSM community?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH4ZcBtqSD59MqBm2GnSnhfhY364OD30zcP4_-G8o3enjXSQMzkyI0piWHikL8DESCXRyKBhebR0rLCyNkcvW7-e3cwjd06iFJAjFDXOucOpb3wU9ck6gTPUjNcroNsqk-NgjIbZ3LUc_iCzz-PD2JvGNvHI1vhKSKrANoNrD36I2PQpPWXar-uBIQ8isQ/s750/tumblr_p8w5ukJ2dU1vy2f73o1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="467" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH4ZcBtqSD59MqBm2GnSnhfhY364OD30zcP4_-G8o3enjXSQMzkyI0piWHikL8DESCXRyKBhebR0rLCyNkcvW7-e3cwjd06iFJAjFDXOucOpb3wU9ck6gTPUjNcroNsqk-NgjIbZ3LUc_iCzz-PD2JvGNvHI1vhKSKrANoNrD36I2PQpPWXar-uBIQ8isQ/w398-h640/tumblr_p8w5ukJ2dU1vy2f73o1_500.png" width="398" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">My impression is that in
other parts of the UK, including Ireland and Scotland, straps and tawses are
more prevalent than the cane, but I welcome correction by any of our UK
commenters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Given the geographic proximity,
I wonder why canes seem to be such an almost exclusively British thing. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I also
wonder whether the preference for belts in my early community was because so
many of the non-Hispanic population in those areas were of Scotch-Irish descent
and the belt was the closest corollary to the strap or tawse?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, there were also many of British descent,
and yet caning was unheard of.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggE05o_A7OHgFAI643gRLqWUHocBtW6r7Bs9HXod-MuiiH2Kl94itPe0DZhB0hEhbrnONeXQ3HuI8XZ7koBFtt4WcrfKTEySIfgehC7Jwzrvcb0aQYT5IvoMrAq1qQ_-GZSpZEIgJAJXl2ubU8GumqaagktBQMGmUO4nOU3JI1gwIIn9dvH_HU69q4PkjI/s1859/tumblr_6f10cac166c5fdc0bbb262e4ee6b4501_387d856f_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1859" data-original-width="1211" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggE05o_A7OHgFAI643gRLqWUHocBtW6r7Bs9HXod-MuiiH2Kl94itPe0DZhB0hEhbrnONeXQ3HuI8XZ7koBFtt4WcrfKTEySIfgehC7Jwzrvcb0aQYT5IvoMrAq1qQ_-GZSpZEIgJAJXl2ubU8GumqaagktBQMGmUO4nOU3JI1gwIIn9dvH_HU69q4PkjI/w416-h640/tumblr_6f10cac166c5fdc0bbb262e4ee6b4501_387d856f_1280.jpeg" width="416" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Although I think that the cultural-based
instrument preferences I observed growing up influenced my emotional reaction
to certain instruments, they don’t seem to have had much influence on what we
actually use. Anne used to use straps a lot, but seldom anymore, and she’s used
belts only very rarely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> She rarely wears belts, and maybe that's unfortunate. Is there anything as sexy to men wired like us as a woman taking off her belt?<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTp460OA3Ol3jc52lSbaA9lZyMnXPkhpHFeFkeA1s4h8kM5eECM_ovsJ_Oira9co9VzHi05L5x1Ua_YUDgD8S366rh7wvM4egLNjKD0pzvTn8nVd8bMZuiUxk7Kk_zU7HZH13kEGxupqtLCNNazELVEwicN-pkpYNxollmoVUu3KMwM9MBTC-4Lz-f3u3a/s1280/tumblr_p979z2OSAl1vf3tj2o2_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTp460OA3Ol3jc52lSbaA9lZyMnXPkhpHFeFkeA1s4h8kM5eECM_ovsJ_Oira9co9VzHi05L5x1Ua_YUDgD8S366rh7wvM4egLNjKD0pzvTn8nVd8bMZuiUxk7Kk_zU7HZH13kEGxupqtLCNNazELVEwicN-pkpYNxollmoVUu3KMwM9MBTC-4Lz-f3u3a/w640-h360/tumblr_p979z2OSAl1vf3tj2o2_1280.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><br />Paddles have
been more frequently used recently, but not nearly as often as one might expect
given how common school paddlings were when we were growing up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Increasingly, we seem to have settled on the
ebony hairbrush and the bath brush, with the latter being by far Anne’s “go-to”
instrument, even though neither played any role in our early disciplinary
environment. <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I do wish sometimes that canes, while not a part of my upbringing, were part of our adult discipline repertoire. As time has gone by and having received dozens and dozens of hard spankings, I don't mark or bruise much anymore. And, like the character in <i>Weeds </i>mentioned above, I admit I liked lingering over the marks of Anne's labors, including raised welts from a hard strapping or caning.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx5NXtv87KUfvpJLNnnI2ppr2_vczy5grLmqUIme3l7u601t4xTAmhXaUwYA__brVJne29PkLwF-4DF3hHQ1Nnht4B_Xi4rkUIgViigVKe8ZhwsbYmTao7ywrgEW2JIe6cJAUgSpywuJ6QmiZZ05y1A8TGUpqoxD26jSKqHhVGnjoMuaSVP6AMn_WrH4HW/s375/553HZu6slkm7obfwBaKNT08ho1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="226" data-original-width="375" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx5NXtv87KUfvpJLNnnI2ppr2_vczy5grLmqUIme3l7u601t4xTAmhXaUwYA__brVJne29PkLwF-4DF3hHQ1Nnht4B_Xi4rkUIgViigVKe8ZhwsbYmTao7ywrgEW2JIe6cJAUgSpywuJ6QmiZZ05y1A8TGUpqoxD26jSKqHhVGnjoMuaSVP6AMn_WrH4HW/w400-h241/553HZu6slkm7obfwBaKNT08ho1_400.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How about you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What were the most common instruments for
disciplinary correction where and when you grew up?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Were there certain instruments that were more
prevalent in your culture/geographic area?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Do what extent did those early cultural instrument preferences influence
your preferences, positively or negatively, as an adult?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Have a great week.</span></p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com85tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-30515200622364875622024-02-23T15:37:00.000-08:002024-02-23T15:37:12.051-08:00The Club -- Meeting 467 -- Fantasies and Things That Should Remain Only That<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Without this playing
with fantasy, no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to
the play of the imagination is incalculable.” - Carl Jung</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I'm posting a little early this week, as I'm going to be tied up much of this weekend. I may start shooting for more Friday postings, as our comments seem to wind down earlier in the week, and I seem to have fewer things going on Fridays. While I think posting on the same day every week did help build up the blog, I find that in retirement I'm just not very into keeping an inflexible schedule on any front.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you all had a great
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s not much to report
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a pretty sedate week, with no
major drama.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, there was one
thing vaguely FLR-related worth mentioning. It was a minor thing in and of
itself, but it’s another indication that Anne may be in the early stages of a transformation
similar to what KOJ has described in which his wife became far more open in her
displays of authority after she retired.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMZd7nFV1_DwVK0JuPVdJVlb2z_FfpGDcAGpk6rNKYdGWuKjrE_5iZabN2h3V6fgnRElyjnJutPFAaUDP4d9pqRGjK7C7RkcnPurd8qx7cLk-i11CDlhK_gKkHWBb7cZMl0JeqB2QeT54wXzrqouADjzi4tkl6ixEdjLQ7aQjSWX0Cx9qRfao8lTKsuenm/s540/tumblr_pc6d6c2j871vtx6eao1_540.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="481" data-original-width="540" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMZd7nFV1_DwVK0JuPVdJVlb2z_FfpGDcAGpk6rNKYdGWuKjrE_5iZabN2h3V6fgnRElyjnJutPFAaUDP4d9pqRGjK7C7RkcnPurd8qx7cLk-i11CDlhK_gKkHWBb7cZMl0JeqB2QeT54wXzrqouADjzi4tkl6ixEdjLQ7aQjSWX0Cx9qRfao8lTKsuenm/w400-h356/tumblr_pc6d6c2j871vtx6eao1_540.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">We were visiting my parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anne was telling some story, and I
interrupted her with a somewhat snarky comment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Without missing a beat and without even turning to acknowledge me, she
said very firmly and directly, “Excuse me. I’m speaking,” then went on with her
story. Again, it sounds minor, but her demeanor was totally in command, in a
way that I’m not sure she would have displayed even a couple of years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, the fact that she was that comfortable
with a confident display of authority in front of my parents, plus two of my sisters, also
seems to me to speak volumes about her increasingly in-charge mindset.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsOu6LO4jU9zomB5ljVDXZ3exxkE6W7rbW_d_vRyMF1FsgvLwabdvojZqkkeRUlxgriGvLFh-SZae72D6Yex9kVJfB9HVxBBAxt0aTQ0Xj4xPeJDIw1Bz-M2wt2AowBJZabg41lNEGji9G3HlAyu46zlVe2STHR7UlquQOXwKjA0_Dah9r06WlXjzw8s-H/s697/tumblr_06bd36c4c9051c030baad25568f239bd_67b8cf55_540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="697" data-original-width="540" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsOu6LO4jU9zomB5ljVDXZ3exxkE6W7rbW_d_vRyMF1FsgvLwabdvojZqkkeRUlxgriGvLFh-SZae72D6Yex9kVJfB9HVxBBAxt0aTQ0Xj4xPeJDIw1Bz-M2wt2AowBJZabg41lNEGji9G3HlAyu46zlVe2STHR7UlquQOXwKjA0_Dah9r06WlXjzw8s-H/w496-h640/tumblr_06bd36c4c9051c030baad25568f239bd_67b8cf55_540.jpg" width="496" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">We had a pretty good discussion
last week, on what I thought was a very narrow topic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s notable that several of you didn’t accept
the underlying premise that DD could be a deal-killer in a future relationship,
preferring to take the positive view that it probably would not prove that hard
to find a woman who was interested in it or to persuade a partner to try it. And,
as Al pointed out, it’s almost certainly a case of “nothing ventured, nothing
gained”:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“It
often seems to be a truism in the F/M DD/DWC community that it is usually quite
difficult to convince a wife to take a disciplinary role. However, it is
probably even more true that most men are so concerned about the possibility of
rejection and looking foolish (weird, unmanly, sick) that they never bring it
up (it took me a few years to do so, and even then it was while we were both
drunk and swapping sexual fantasies - when I confessed to a "mild
interest" in being spanked). This is certainly a very understandable
concern, and yet, what I have often seen in spanking forums such as this over
the years is that once a wife was approached, they were quite often willing to
give it a try to some degree, and many quickly came to enjoy their role as a
disciplinary wife.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">There were different, and
somewhat opposing perspectives on the best timing for approaching a future
partner about your disciplinary needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mike
represented the view that it may take some time to develop the kind of
relationship in which one would feel comfortable admitting to that kind of
need:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I
guess it always depends on the person I would be dating. If she had a strong “take
charge” mentality and I sensed an authoritative vibe coming from her, maybe I
might open up. But it took me 10 years of marriage and being in a very
emotionally vulnerable place to finally open up to my wife about my spanking
need. I don’t know if I would have that level of trust and vulnerability at the
beginning of a relationship.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Alan took a different view
regarding timing, and I really liked his spin on DD as a “deal-maker” rather
than a “deal-breaker”:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">DD
is definitely not a deal breaker at the beginning of a serious relationship,
but it can be a “deal maker” and has been for me in my two DD relationships.
The depth and intimacy that DD offers make it impossible for other women to
compete with a woman who adopts loving female-led discipline. In earlier
relationships, I always found myself searching for something missing. What was
missing, of course, was discipline and spanking. With it, I am emotionally
fulfilled.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">However,
I think waiting is not the best strategy. One reason is simply it is unfair not
to tell her of needs that are so deep that might later sabotage your
relationship. But a better reason is that early in a relationship is the
interval when she may be more open to exploring unfamiliar (to her) aspects of
sexuality—and it is also the time she is going to be motivated to show that she
wants to meet your needs. What I am suggesting probably actually happens
rarely. But in today's world –with the increasing honesty about sexuality (especially
for emerging generations), it could work.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">There was also an unexpected
diversion into the topic of pre-spanking erections.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I’ll do a full topic on that in the future,
though we covered it pretty thoroughly in the comments. <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As the week was winding down,
I got this topic suggestion from Glenmore, along with two of his drawings:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfD2pmeRi0Ew9Rx0w2vhKvYA3x62WDpCqTkZLmWBSSFjQrLkQR_I7pVoAO8KUPR6OjP7K4_yiy1ZDomKwU1fj6g9A2spWH_O4jK1ik2_K5AXs02TJYSV5UYieb1oGHB05XZX5wc9zfMnrSyRv0WLRqKzruWV8Ofg9bECqidcJBzNylG1WudKQnWcvoZz3_/s1537/bed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="967" data-original-width="1537" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfD2pmeRi0Ew9Rx0w2vhKvYA3x62WDpCqTkZLmWBSSFjQrLkQR_I7pVoAO8KUPR6OjP7K4_yiy1ZDomKwU1fj6g9A2spWH_O4jK1ik2_K5AXs02TJYSV5UYieb1oGHB05XZX5wc9zfMnrSyRv0WLRqKzruWV8Ofg9bECqidcJBzNylG1WudKQnWcvoZz3_/w400-h251/bed.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUyOBt-u0AwMbGFrgLskFfnmjkL45UEteiSl1OYPQKC1eoQcknVd9OTikfHF7B7PsfufIQ-saMh6av2hYmbnVBtoAhiXKPRUyoQZKKsxpnc2icfXxMmcbeqOxGkQ9v4u6FAy-_TiGU8sKIa9d0vE1sSu_ZtCRi3-ARsAfET0tQw98Kjp0b-hxD9hIPRyig/s1719/DWCWIVES.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="921" data-original-width="1719" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUyOBt-u0AwMbGFrgLskFfnmjkL45UEteiSl1OYPQKC1eoQcknVd9OTikfHF7B7PsfufIQ-saMh6av2hYmbnVBtoAhiXKPRUyoQZKKsxpnc2icfXxMmcbeqOxGkQ9v4u6FAy-_TiGU8sKIa9d0vE1sSu_ZtCRi3-ARsAfET0tQw98Kjp0b-hxD9hIPRyig/w400-h214/DWCWIVES.png" width="400" /></a></div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Just another potential
suggestion for your blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
attached a couple of scenarios that are likely fantasies for many of us, but my
question is how many of us would actually do this, and how would we react if
this really happened?</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Would it be
worse if you did or didn't know the other men and women?</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How would you
feel about being spanked by the other women, and would you have a problem with
your wife spanking the other men?</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Do you like it
but would prefer it just remained a fantasy?</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Just a few thoughts and
I'm sure you could add a few more.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Glen’s illustrations centered
on multiple spankers and spankees coming together for a disciplinary
session.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll answer his questions on
that specific scenario, but I’ll also broaden his question a bit to include: <b>“Are
there DD or FLR-related scenarios you fantasize about but probably would not
actually do if given the opportunity?”</b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4-0gL-7JYSfsQMLnERf0yg0V8vBsqO-Bc1rS0LeVclLJ8Bb2Wr7VpKfdiTJOFPh8zWTIzg3o6Old8rsrlo1shjS2nEjB5ioMhPr1ELOd4yUeeg9b4_kjz7eU0TuJBMRtkYRyhezgAldmL5iQkOtO2-r70jLEnTRciDFP5-hbbRHTcPIQ1r81Ml_SRb7te/s810/tumblr_mke921zfP41s93b8zo7_r1_540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="540" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4-0gL-7JYSfsQMLnERf0yg0V8vBsqO-Bc1rS0LeVclLJ8Bb2Wr7VpKfdiTJOFPh8zWTIzg3o6Old8rsrlo1shjS2nEjB5ioMhPr1ELOd4yUeeg9b4_kjz7eU0TuJBMRtkYRyhezgAldmL5iQkOtO2-r70jLEnTRciDFP5-hbbRHTcPIQ1r81Ml_SRb7te/w426-h640/tumblr_mke921zfP41s93b8zo7_r1_540.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">My answer to Glen’s specific questions
are:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Would it be worse if you
did or didn't know the other men and women?” </span></i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I don’t have a real opinion on which would be “worse.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I do think whether I knew the other men
might have a big impact on whether I would ever fantasize about, or be
attracted to, such a scenario in the first place.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">For me, “authenticity” is a
big driver of my DD interest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there
isn’t some element of real accountability/punishment in it, I don’t have much
attraction to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If a session involved
only men and women I didn’t know, I think it would feel like a game or party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wouldn’t say I have zero interest in ever
attending a spanking party, but whatever level of interest I have is quite
low.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, while I think the scenario is
very unlikely to ever happen, any fantasy I would have about it would probably
be limited to it happening with someone I actually know.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“How would you feel about
being spanked by the other women, and would you have a problem with your wife
spanking the other men?” </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Being spanked by another woman
isn’t a huge fantasy for me, but I admit to being more than a little intrigued
by stories Aunt Kay’s husband has shared about being sent to another woman for
a session.<i> </i>There are also stories on the DWC website—like “Military Duty
Calls” in which a female soldier going on deployment sends her husband to her
mother for a spanking—that I am attracted to, as long as there is a strong,
real disciplinary component.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As for whether I would have a
problem with Anne spanking the other men in Glen’s joint scenario, the simple
answer is no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While it’s hard to know for
sure, I honestly don’t think I would have any problem with Anne spanking any
man in any real disciplinary scenario. I’m not sure whether I would want to see
it happening, but I don’t think I would have any problem at all with her doing
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, although I think the chance
of it happening is virtually nil, I would have tell her to go for it if the
situation ever presented itself.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Do you like it but would
prefer it just remained a fantasy?” </span></i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Glen’s
specific scenario doesn’t really rise to the “fantasy” level for me. But, I
could see it being something I would be open to exploring under the right
scenario. I think it probably would have to be limited to one other couple. I
would need to have some kind of personal connection to the other husband,
though that could include someone I’ve known only electronically through this
blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though I see other men naked
in the gym almost daily, I suspect the full nudity would be at least as
embarrassing as the spankings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would I
do it if Anne ordered such a thing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Undoubtedly yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it a scenario
I would actively pursue in real life? Probably not.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9iRTy4SQQ2MAy0HLNSgHsiJl55FoEeoKW2Ocgkl6vzBs3lTUegT83zB3yTmH8IfLK-KdlfabaS3hAAVWHnoRAZ5oaMl778G_l3l-uNe1ELRbSnfleX9g8ju4VUgwGI8FKzmmlZreNHMCcjISORybEy-_beTFVTFQhY4vXEpZ7EuugcBphUPaLTqOCEuao/s400/34.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="225" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9iRTy4SQQ2MAy0HLNSgHsiJl55FoEeoKW2Ocgkl6vzBs3lTUegT83zB3yTmH8IfLK-KdlfabaS3hAAVWHnoRAZ5oaMl778G_l3l-uNe1ELRbSnfleX9g8ju4VUgwGI8FKzmmlZreNHMCcjISORybEy-_beTFVTFQhY4vXEpZ7EuugcBphUPaLTqOCEuao/w360-h640/34.png" width="360" /></a></div><br /><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As for my own question as
to whether there are DD or FLR-related scenarios you fantasize about but
probably would not actually do if given the opportunity?”</span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It may seem odd for someone
who spends as much time writing about DD as I do, but I don’t have that many
fantasies about it. And, I suspect the ones I do have are not the least bit
appealing to most of you.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I’ve often commented on how
envious I am of JR’s woodshed stories, and I do have a thing for both woodsheds
and barns and would very much like to experience a real disciplinary spanking
in one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s nothing controversial or
even all that interesting about that fantasy, of course. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3VEDIJxv5ARDvOVGDQmpAFt9TkvwDQ9aJEHAK4zV0varJ6buRm2vDBd_El68z-9KRG_h-A7QzdLcPMWJ_IFVi-l03bXRetpyvaIoO3S5iT4eNTtPsZAq6NF4PF9fgnQg1-_JrCNHNSRsHO3dWz6ODtSKnfYN6u-hivNUsPBe__jsGKO4RNLA7xQ4OYbfa/s320/6429.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="213" data-original-width="320" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3VEDIJxv5ARDvOVGDQmpAFt9TkvwDQ9aJEHAK4zV0varJ6buRm2vDBd_El68z-9KRG_h-A7QzdLcPMWJ_IFVi-l03bXRetpyvaIoO3S5iT4eNTtPsZAq6NF4PF9fgnQg1-_JrCNHNSRsHO3dWz6ODtSKnfYN6u-hivNUsPBe__jsGKO4RNLA7xQ4OYbfa/w400-h266/6429.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">However, many of the stories
I’ve read that include those elements involved male spankers. There are no
shortage of stories out there about being taken to the woodshed by a father or
uncle. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although the woodshed/barn
scenario is appealing to me by itself, the M/m aspect of many of those stories
also appeals to something deep within me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In fact, the photo immediately above is
one I came across a long time ago as part of a spanking story that involved a
dominant male who was in a D/s sort of relationship with a couple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The husband had done something the dominant
male and the wife agreed should be punished, but the wife kept blowing off
phone calls to schedule it. So, the dominant male interrupts a dinner party the
couple was hosting and lets the husband know he will make a scene if he does
not accompany him to a horse barn on the couple’s party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once there, he whips him to tears before letting
him go back to the party. That story is one of the first in the spanking genre
that I recall having a very strong reaction to. A big part of my DD need is rooted in wanting to have my will overcome such that I am held to account even when I don't want to go along with it.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I’ve also recounted that,
while I seldom dream about spanking, a particularly vivid one I did have involved being
taken from a party at work to be spanked by a male office manager, with everyone in the party (including Anne, my mother and my dad) knowing it was going to happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Are these M/m stories and dreams
something I might fantasize about but would never do in real life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think that much of my DD attraction is rooted in power dynamics and
parental authority, including both maternal and paternal authority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My morbid desire to have discipline imposed
is less gender-specific than it probably is for most of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, in the very unlikely event that Anne was
to order such a thing, would I go along with it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Almost certainly yes.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAX2xh6gWY2ecNLqSGhlHHmdW31C288nfCt30yAVqaCm8kng6WFSgTtI9pS4OfthlXhTnnCP1NxV-dufTi0CD2NirHQWJUSJNGR64yesVY87YNFm5bU_dedvUI6AVIoW6bazzQxT9RpivcsvFMCpXjwX5oJY5_PnUzs4_8LoD5wFO6qvumr0JG7ZANr-rX/s1133/Humiliating%20Wives.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1133" data-original-width="1001" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAX2xh6gWY2ecNLqSGhlHHmdW31C288nfCt30yAVqaCm8kng6WFSgTtI9pS4OfthlXhTnnCP1NxV-dufTi0CD2NirHQWJUSJNGR64yesVY87YNFm5bU_dedvUI6AVIoW6bazzQxT9RpivcsvFMCpXjwX5oJY5_PnUzs4_8LoD5wFO6qvumr0JG7ZANr-rX/w354-h400/Humiliating%20Wives.jpg" width="354" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">There is a sense in which Anne's recent assertiveness, and the "goal achievement" and procrastination check-ins we recently implemented, has been a long-term fantasy, and one I could come to regret. Just like the M/m and woodshed spanking scenarios appeal to me because they involve being literally and psychologically taken to a place outside my "control zone," a lot of what Anne and I are exploring involves her increasingly setting the rules, enforcing them when and how she sees fit, and generally empowering her in ways that I may have less and less control over as she explores these more aggressive and assertive parts of her personality.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXJkmlFopf0tKcF-wz9KB8BecKukXlucMvLVPAfNN9_7_9yZwvhSH_AxoYOOEFenndZay6kBaEGgNjBU3bOVFgL4MaDBJT04_PGf5-LmsnwAjFv1h5KXkuwHTIprYY-lIeyTjzi5otlLYCQBVAtV6Du3Ko0XUrG8RZatKC4ehReYb5utXVHHygTuzf0C-v/s707/tumblr_d79ed6f3533f0d5ef6997c25c0ccc1de_06edc5b2_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="707" data-original-width="705" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXJkmlFopf0tKcF-wz9KB8BecKukXlucMvLVPAfNN9_7_9yZwvhSH_AxoYOOEFenndZay6kBaEGgNjBU3bOVFgL4MaDBJT04_PGf5-LmsnwAjFv1h5KXkuwHTIprYY-lIeyTjzi5otlLYCQBVAtV6Du3Ko0XUrG8RZatKC4ehReYb5utXVHHygTuzf0C-v/w399-h400/tumblr_d79ed6f3533f0d5ef6997c25c0ccc1de_06edc5b2_1280.jpeg" width="399" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Most of my other DD-related
fantasies are pretty pedestrian and involve being spanked in unconventional or
risky places, like the backseat of a car or in the woods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I definitely would go along with anything
like that if Anne wanted to.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvzhGKgGMN6u3Wa6H0t2yu1CQdJEetirROUFROJYM5Bh8Er3lDgzD_mjHF_CtZ_QjbzJHdMjA5oB5X7Kx6EacOw0bCXoPq0jspDq9dOR2pX1cjLGPebsOAqzRF4P6f_LqTBrPUcczN-ey5gMRNsUD9FVwlXe3mCK_N7EdH9SVUkBejFe6LLPmT2VjfYoVu/s480/s69.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="450" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvzhGKgGMN6u3Wa6H0t2yu1CQdJEetirROUFROJYM5Bh8Er3lDgzD_mjHF_CtZ_QjbzJHdMjA5oB5X7Kx6EacOw0bCXoPq0jspDq9dOR2pX1cjLGPebsOAqzRF4P6f_LqTBrPUcczN-ey5gMRNsUD9FVwlXe3mCK_N7EdH9SVUkBejFe6LLPmT2VjfYoVu/w375-h400/s69.jpg" width="375" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How about you? How do you
feel about Glen’s scenario and his questions about it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it something you are attracted to?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it an attraction you would be game to pursue
in real life, or is it one of those things that is better as a fantasy? Are
there other fantasies that fall into that category?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you have a good week.</span></p>
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{margin-bottom:0in;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com79tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-75452341072447926202024-02-17T13:23:00.000-08:002024-02-17T13:23:05.714-08:00The Club - Meeting 466 - Is Domestic Discipline a Deal-Killer?<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Women marry men hoping
they will change, and men marry women hoping they will not. So each is
inevitably disappointed.” - Albert Einstein</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you all had a great
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ours was interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve mentioned a few times that I had talked
to Anne about the possibility of using DD to give me some additional motivation
to overcome procrastination, move forward on some bigger life goals, and
basically get past some of the stagnation I let myself drift into in 2023.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somewhat surprisingly, she has not only been
open to the idea but downright enthusiastic about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had our first face-to-face, in-depth
discussion about it this week, which I think makes it premature to talk about
it in detail so soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, stay tuned.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjceqA7TeXT2VWemYBn9tkMniySfjH9YNgbGzp3XjB2boVx3tT-ZT0B0yUrzL_PYGVe0bWQ4HXrg2Aw_EWXwcw5FB6f9UgCdUe-7nQkZm2tEhMQnEYAmJk2eNMMrDg-epIFUbTCF6LgRjAvwZE0Kap5TlS-OXkB1StNj8Ya-U1s3ByZlJMSjqzIWK71EzjN/s480/gFx5GS.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="460" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjceqA7TeXT2VWemYBn9tkMniySfjH9YNgbGzp3XjB2boVx3tT-ZT0B0yUrzL_PYGVe0bWQ4HXrg2Aw_EWXwcw5FB6f9UgCdUe-7nQkZm2tEhMQnEYAmJk2eNMMrDg-epIFUbTCF6LgRjAvwZE0Kap5TlS-OXkB1StNj8Ya-U1s3ByZlJMSjqzIWK71EzjN/w614-h640/gFx5GS.png" width="614" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Other than that, it was a
pretty uneventful week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only hiccup
was I’ve been getting involved in some local political issues, and it’s easy to
get frustrated with that kind of stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We live in what has to be one of the most highly educated counties in
the U.S., yet I often feel like I’m surrounded by stupid people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that not keeping my temper may have
to be an actionable item in Anne’s new performance improvement plan.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyrp1L8msTlP_fRhV-RcrHm_ZPVUQk_WEi-6TQ9P6H5r118cVKRZrXDN76PvPZ-7z46tIUZte23ykEeN8mPv6rBHAxWc0gf4zaILfwUD5qxBwDprdmUXbJm_Bl4R9I6B3nAwkv-A0o507E9KDYOTUsKur_EjLJFrMoCZ4lTY2UJ5DM_JtiwKx66ztTsAZn/s788/tumblr_7bcb2a9aaafe267d61b9543fe2a73b9e_ec0e1858_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="788" height="381" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyrp1L8msTlP_fRhV-RcrHm_ZPVUQk_WEi-6TQ9P6H5r118cVKRZrXDN76PvPZ-7z46tIUZte23ykEeN8mPv6rBHAxWc0gf4zaILfwUD5qxBwDprdmUXbJm_Bl4R9I6B3nAwkv-A0o507E9KDYOTUsKur_EjLJFrMoCZ4lTY2UJ5DM_JtiwKx66ztTsAZn/w400-h381/tumblr_7bcb2a9aaafe267d61b9543fe2a73b9e_ec0e1858_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">We had a good discussion last
week regarding why we continue DD even after we know what a <i>real </i>DD
spanking entails, though I’m not sure we arrived at any answers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is such an individualized question and
inevitably get tied up in discussions of our individual DD origins and what
drove our interest in the first place. But, I never get tired of hearing origin
stories, so even if we didn’t get too many answers it was interesting.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">A couple of the comments hit
on something I wrote down as a possible topic a few weeks but couldn’t quite
figure out how to develop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, I
still can’t. This is going to be one of the shortest posts since the beginning
of the blog, as I can’t find a single meme, drawing or photo that relates to
it, and I don’t have a whole lot to say about the topic myself. But, here goes
. . .</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Norton kicked it off with this
comment:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Mike's
story was a lot like mine, including the desire to have your wife spank you,
and the stress relief you get from spankings. Describing your "need to
submit" and the turn-on you get from "the threat of a spanking from
an authoritative woman", resonate with me. My wife couldn't really embrace
F/M DD, and that was a huge issue for us. After we split up, and I finally got
what I always needed, life got much better. Like Dan said, hopefully your wife
is just going through a pause. For me, however, I finally have had to accept
that my lifelong obsession with F/M spanking is simply never going to go away. <b>At
this stage, I would not consider being in a serious relationship with a woman
who wasn't into F/M spanking as well as DD. It's just too important to me</b>.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">GH responded:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><i>Same
here, Norton. It really is an obsession, and even though my libido declines
with age, the obsession with spanking never decreases. That’s why I am here, I
suppose. My wife is very sporadic about FLR and DD these days, and sometimes I
wish I could just let it go. But I can’t, so I need to talk about it. <b>Like
you, I couldn’t imagine getting into any new relationship that wasn’t female
led and that didn’t involve DD.</b></i></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">So, the topic for this week
is: If, god forbid, you found yourself contemplating a new relationship,
whether due to loss of a spouse or from divorce or break up, to what extent
would DD be a deal-killer for any future relationship?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">For Norton and GH, it sounds
like it would be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve spent quite a bit
of time talking to Aunt Kay’s husband since she passed, and while DD isn’t a
deal-killer for him in any future relationship and, in fact, he seems resigned
to accepting that he’s unlikely to find anyone who would be into, it’s clear
that he still has a strong interest in it and having someone fill that need
would be a strong preference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>KOJ did
lose a spouse, I but I don’t recall whether he’s addressed this in any of his
comments, and I hope he’ll share any thoughts he has about it.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">For me, I think I would feel about
it much like Aunt Kay’s husband does. In an ideal world, it would be something
a new partner would be into, but it wouldn’t be a deal-killer by any
means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got along fine for the first
decade of married life without even knowing there was such a thing as domestic
discipline and, honestly, that probably was the period in which I could have
used it most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Would I like it to be a part
of any theoretical future relationship? Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Could I move on and live without it? Yes.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">If I were, god forbid, to
find myself looking for a new relationship, would I tell potential partners
about the DD aspects of my marriage?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Almost certainly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know myself
well enough that I’m 100% sure I wouldn’t be involved with a prude in the first
place, and I have 0% ability to keep my mouth shut about much of anything in
any intimate relationship. I am very sure that I would bring it up, though
probably not at the beginning of the relationship.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I also stick to my belief
that there are very few women out there who have a present, known interest in DD
or know they want to be in an FLR.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
believe that in real life, in the vast majority of cases Disciplinary Wives are
made not born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I wanted DD to be part
of a future relationship, I’d probably need to do what I did this time around –
tell my partner about my interest, describe it at a high level, refer her to
resources that are out there like the DWC website and this blog, and see where
she takes it from there.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmw7cjyGTiryYBTcytfxsXA0lx4gyMqMELx0Jp2HECVKkKdY6w_XsQHDfcQcWYNXb3Zk4Auk7_UXy9n5BHdcvnkGyoirJ_uqwsy_C4Eekrt6gZ_wcVfNmX32kboeV0KbDlIFPrOllrBD63YlqWjLvBLwxntkf9QihF-JLpAEGCrMesE1qe0qW9SUZP8W-o/s1600/notitle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1002" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmw7cjyGTiryYBTcytfxsXA0lx4gyMqMELx0Jp2HECVKkKdY6w_XsQHDfcQcWYNXb3Zk4Auk7_UXy9n5BHdcvnkGyoirJ_uqwsy_C4Eekrt6gZ_wcVfNmX32kboeV0KbDlIFPrOllrBD63YlqWjLvBLwxntkf9QihF-JLpAEGCrMesE1qe0qW9SUZP8W-o/w400-h640/notitle.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">How about you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is DD a deal-killer for you for any future
relationship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is an easy one to address
from the perspective of the disciplined husband or the disciplinary wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the husbands, would you be OK with a
future relationship that did not include domestic discipline? For the wives,
now that you’ve experienced the benefits and empower that DD and FLR bring,
would you be OK doing without them in any theoretical future relationship?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you all have a good
week. </span></p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com80tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-88099759228094218512024-02-10T16:04:00.000-08:002024-02-10T16:04:40.633-08:00The Club -- Meeting 466 - Why DD? Why even after very hard spankings?<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“And oftentimes we
consider pains superior to pleasures when submission to the pains for a long
time brings us as a consequence a greater pleasure.” — Epicurus</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">We had a good discussion last
week, even if it was a narrow topic, about a particular piece of DWC fiction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you to “al.” for giving us the
background on his <i>Even More </i>story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a good learning experience for me, even though I've read the story a dozen times, as I didn’t realize until last week that he wrote it before
he had experienced a real-life DD spanking.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I did enjoy some of the back-and-forth
about the “toilet seat” aspect of the story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I seem to be in the minority in not having that much sympathy for our
wives on this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This meme sums up my
own attitude pretty well:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKEjVMaXsQmdn7wfUt8NFuxitqK-QjVhtSW-WDbDaET3fbfZSXov0iQDB-Xttryy9YUhEIMGaJ9px_izLVxDrx2LaDpg_T2Ava0le69dIsTpNicM1LApVHIh4TaM6rGE8oyiwdVrojtA-kjTmDj1gu7Q-RfxO5x7Uk-rJ5pM1km9gMrY4mG77tvrd3TZ68/s960/298903394_2100386963483033_5510112215937805260_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="854" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKEjVMaXsQmdn7wfUt8NFuxitqK-QjVhtSW-WDbDaET3fbfZSXov0iQDB-Xttryy9YUhEIMGaJ9px_izLVxDrx2LaDpg_T2Ava0le69dIsTpNicM1LApVHIh4TaM6rGE8oyiwdVrojtA-kjTmDj1gu7Q-RfxO5x7Uk-rJ5pM1km9gMrY4mG77tvrd3TZ68/w570-h640/298903394_2100386963483033_5510112215937805260_n.jpg" width="570" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As noted in the post, I’ve
always loved the <i>Even More </i>story, in part because a lot of it reflects my
own DD origins, including all the atmosphere around finding the DWC, being
morbidly fascinated by the DD concept, bringing it reluctantly to one’s wife,
the thrill (or relief) of her agreeing to it, quickly followed by terror at the
reality of her agreeing to it. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">However, what the story doesn’t
address is the “why.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why did David have
that craving for extremely painful punishment spankings?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why was that craving not nipped in the bud
after that first DD spanking taught him the difference between the fantasy and
the reality?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why did he know he wouldn't walk away from it even though Susan had told him he could? <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In reflecting on the story, TG had some of those “why” questions:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I
certainly recognize some parallels to myself in the story. Like many on this
blog, I discovered the DWC website twenty plus years ago, but as I remember, I
never really spent any time in the fiction section, so I haven’t read this
before. It does however get me thinking about one of my perennial conundrums. A
real disciplinary spanking is a very painful experience and couldn’t be
described as “fun” or “play.” Yet the emotional or physiological need for it
far outweighs the unpleasantness of actually receiving it. Yes, I know, it lets
us move on with the air cleared and so on, but I’ve never really been able to
understand my own need for this, which I know goes far beyond just wanting to
clear the air and move on. My impression is that others may have a similar lack
of self-understanding. This could almost be a discussion subject in itself, if
you could find a coherent way to launch it.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">TB comes at it from the opposite
angle, accepting the reality without asking the “why”:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; tab-stops: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“GH writes about being obsessed with the ‘why’ - I
gave up on this a long time ago and just accept that it ‘is’ the way I am. I
believe that most if not all people have some sort of so called ‘kink’. Some
embrace it & put it to positive use (as many on the site do). Others
repress with often damaging consequences. Others are afflicted with socially
unacceptable ‘kinks’. What we do is consensual and my ‘vanilla’ wife has
accepted & embraced my spanking interest to positively impact our relationship.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgziU37jhK3fjdTiNIBzUI3puF9yu3oiD2VeAJM3m9AONItSv2yJu6GF6BAExiX5rXy0J6GJ6MoxrKixODuyj5GK3Dj2wcju2F7DVar8ubDX_PM5WES76nYfCNp9DdLwGBZURgqd0VMavve3cCMo84J3rTiC0LDpzeX3edEgN4B-AXiyHVKuYYu7eKNWzlq/s1920/tumblr_p6tsawRYcI1vy2f73o2_r1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="796" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgziU37jhK3fjdTiNIBzUI3puF9yu3oiD2VeAJM3m9AONItSv2yJu6GF6BAExiX5rXy0J6GJ6MoxrKixODuyj5GK3Dj2wcju2F7DVar8ubDX_PM5WES76nYfCNp9DdLwGBZURgqd0VMavve3cCMo84J3rTiC0LDpzeX3edEgN4B-AXiyHVKuYYu7eKNWzlq/w266-h640/tumblr_p6tsawRYcI1vy2f73o2_r1_1280.png" width="266" /></a></div>I’m somewhere in the
middle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like TB, I’ve mostly given up
asking why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, more precisely, I’ve
given up on asking the why question and expecting any real answer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> But</span>, because I don’t feel any self-judgment about it, answering
the “why” question likely wouldn’t change much for me.<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Yet, that doesn’t make the
answer irrelevant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like many, I am my
own favorite topic of inquiry. I’m endlessly curious about what makes me
tick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Moreover, my wife is curious
about what makes me tick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Maybe her knowing the "why" shouldn't make much practical difference, yet it kind of does.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In the past, her
unanswered questions about the “why” of my DD desires made her tentative about
fully committing to her role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She says she
went years without fully committing to it in her head because she couldn't
understand why any man would want this and, thus, she always had a nagging
suspicion that I would decide I <i>didn’t</i> want it anymore and
would pull out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">TG’s question also isn’t just
the typical “origin” inquiry about how we each got here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also invites those who
receive very harsh spankings to think about not just why we had that initial
desire for DD, but how that desire remains and even grows <i>after </i>we’ve
experienced the reality of spankings that we really, truly would like
to avoid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think “David” in the <i>Even
More</i> story has a real answer to that question. I know I don’t. I know that I crave discipline. I know that I crave a maternal-style hierarchy. I know that I want her to be strict and consistent. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4KZsBansf1qsa-VI4vOPI35G2L2DG3k9ERZUPS57FRvPRsfJcPr36kvI2J9hJN2YUw0Ge5AGGooDCFyDGx3idXZCUDYRQTTDWXCGrYDolNdSJPkJ6Age8e-lvhNxe86XM03QKT57QE4AV4xs0wRsUX8txG_0a5I8YdyDotyO5EEFmJrIoxorIoxQKJ7m3/s667/tumblr_e52a2889be27a1dd53b2fea0e9473134_15eef7c7_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="667" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4KZsBansf1qsa-VI4vOPI35G2L2DG3k9ERZUPS57FRvPRsfJcPr36kvI2J9hJN2YUw0Ge5AGGooDCFyDGx3idXZCUDYRQTTDWXCGrYDolNdSJPkJ6Age8e-lvhNxe86XM03QKT57QE4AV4xs0wRsUX8txG_0a5I8YdyDotyO5EEFmJrIoxorIoxQKJ7m3/w480-h640/tumblr_e52a2889be27a1dd53b2fea0e9473134_15eef7c7_500.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">But, <i>why </i>do I want any of that, especially knowing what I know about how all those things really feel in the moment? After twenty years of self-reflection, I still don't know.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">The Disciplinary Wives Club
philosophy itself seems to be agnostic on the “why” question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aunt Kay offered this piece of advice
regarding the attitude the wives should take when their husbands were over
their knees:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">If
you feel the least bit sorry for him during all this, remember, a submissive
man does not want a weak or lenient woman. He wants someone very strict and
dominant. If he wanted anything different, he wouldn’t be over your knees in
the first place. This isn’t a small child you are holding over your lap by
force — this is a grown man who needs and wants a hard spanking. Give it to him
and pay no attention to his cries for mercy. The longer and harder you spank,
the more he will love you for it.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Aunt Kay and those who contributed to the DWC assumed that the husbands wanted the lifestyle even if they hated the spankings. But, I don’t think anything on the DWC
website answers the “why.” </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">There were a couple of large polls posted on the DWC website, with granular analysis of the participants’
histories and motivations. But, there were some problems, in my opinion, with
the structure of those polls, including that while there were several questions (directed to both Disciplinary Wives and disciplined husbands) about their relationships with their mothers, their relationships with their fathers went almost wholly unexplored. p</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">That’s a mistake,
in my opinion, and interesting in its own right. Why the automatic assumption that it's our relationships with our mothers, and not our fathers, that feeds the latent DD interest? Maybe just the pervasive Freudian interest that has since been widely criticized?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg6jFKKfRR2S04CCWhYWQUUMTEHhTBHXcUo6EvEfD7P-7AAWcc3yREXxqFl3vigESBjShaF2uG_FQe87L0ueSlBnw4Q9U0SSK0XKw_MG52cmjlZ0VxwRVqhy5TEplb_PBJlIEhIzI1XL-C2oo4qwlgemL141m97YKCXK_K3wCZ3mEx0IUKi0oi3GRGrUcv/s604/tumblr_d2fca36bc37fc75cc1dabdbe5e5ef718_16c8fa4f_640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="593" data-original-width="604" height="628" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg6jFKKfRR2S04CCWhYWQUUMTEHhTBHXcUo6EvEfD7P-7AAWcc3yREXxqFl3vigESBjShaF2uG_FQe87L0ueSlBnw4Q9U0SSK0XKw_MG52cmjlZ0VxwRVqhy5TEplb_PBJlIEhIzI1XL-C2oo4qwlgemL141m97YKCXK_K3wCZ3mEx0IUKi0oi3GRGrUcv/w640-h628/tumblr_d2fca36bc37fc75cc1dabdbe5e5ef718_16c8fa4f_640.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Personally, I suspect that my relationship with my (step)-father was a necessary
ingredient in the psychological recipe that led to by DD interest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no real idea why I became so obsessed
with DD and attracted to FLR, but I think it’s probably some combination of: </span><br /></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">a mother with a strong but erratic personality </span>
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{margin-bottom:0in;}</style></li><li><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">a (step)-father who also had a very strong personality and
was very anti-authoritarian and confrontational<br /></span></li><li>
<span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">a permissive teenage environment in which the
lack of rules paradoxically led to feelings of overwhelming personal
responsibility</span></li><li><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">growing up in areas of the country where corporal punishment was very prevalent <br /></span></li><li>
<span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">my inborn personality/temperament that gravitates toward
both achievement and risk-taking</span></li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Putting it all together, I was
born with a personality and temperament that embraced risk-taking and unrestrained behavior. Yet, I'm also very goal-oriented. I undoubtedly modeled my
father’s anti-authoritarianism and aggressive, risk-taking behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I get pissed at myself when those behavioral tendencies lead me to "step on my own dick" or make it harder to achieve my goals. My mother’s personality was strong enough
that she could have imposed some checks and balances, but her own behavior was
erratic and, by my teenage years, she had more or less given up on imposing rules
or holding me accountable for anything. So, I exited my teen-age years a risk-taker and anti-authoritarian who nevertheless had a strong sense of responsibility and a need for achievement but lacked parental discipline to mitigate the risk-taking and support the goal-achievement.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Of course, while some of that
may offer insights into my DD origins, none of it really answers even the
origin question, let alone why DD has remained so attractive to me even after I’ve
experienced hundreds of very, very painful sessions. A partial answer may be that, while some of my motivations are subconscious, I also consciously know and accept that I need the guardrails that DD provides and that, being a grown man, a certain amount of harshness is required for me to get the message we both know I need.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrI0jSfdZIUh3A2XhR1wWE7mz1u2MLB3mXk5OEobTwrVbzbzwimHahOWYS2v-08FzrtC5NBeJg_YQy9ya4gwttc9E1R1rK2mPPaIjoBtJgnbiMsoA7hZ5WvlrCBzE175fg6UuwwMdMZhhUUmwcmrj4wIbQw-OGC1tAHB0iQdp4HsFoVI8DHvqgLqkElATQ/s576/tumblr_140cff45b64a0c8a404a446fd29dc1ee_0e5e53b2_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrI0jSfdZIUh3A2XhR1wWE7mz1u2MLB3mXk5OEobTwrVbzbzwimHahOWYS2v-08FzrtC5NBeJg_YQy9ya4gwttc9E1R1rK2mPPaIjoBtJgnbiMsoA7hZ5WvlrCBzE175fg6UuwwMdMZhhUUmwcmrj4wIbQw-OGC1tAHB0iQdp4HsFoVI8DHvqgLqkElATQ/w556-h640/tumblr_140cff45b64a0c8a404a446fd29dc1ee_0e5e53b2_500.jpg" width="556" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I also don't know why it suddenly
became "a thing" for me in my late 30s. Maybe the tension between the goal-orientation and my recognition that lack of personal discipline was frustrating those goals, and impacting my personal relationships, had to reach some threshold level. And, the universe working the way it does, the DWC came along just as my angst at my own behavior started to boil over. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">There is a Zen saying that is apropos: "When the heart is ready, the teacher will come." In a very real sense, Aunt Kay and Jerry were the teachers I found at the point I was finally open to their lessons.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">So, unlike TB, I am still curious about origins and the "why" question, though </span><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">the sheer variety
of experiences we bring to this convinces me that I'll probably never find "the" reason for any of this.</span><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> I'm endlessly fascinated by the
fact that we all come to this lifestyle from such different backgrounds,
including some who were subject to strict discipline as kids and some who
weren't. Some went to schools where corporal punishment was prevalent. Some didn't. Some had strong, disciplinary mothers or fathers. Some didn't.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">For the wives, I don’t know
whether it makes sense to ask the “why” question at all if we’re talking about
what drives them to adopt the lifestyle, given that in most cases they weren’t
driven to it at all. Rather, they initially accommodated their husbands' wants and needs but found that doing so also benefitted them.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">But, KOJ recently suggested a
topic question that I think dovetails nicely with the discussion above, namely:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 31.5pt;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">What
are the benefits of DD for the wife that she has spoken of, and what are the additional
benefits for the wife -- as perceived by the spanked husband -- that she has
NOT spoken of (and how the husband has identified those unspoken benefits).</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 31.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">For some possible answers to
what the benefits may be, instead of answering the question again for myself, I’d
recommend people read <a href="https://domesticdiscipline.info/why-women-should-consider-a-f-m-spanking-relationship/">this article</a>, which was mentioned in a couple of comments
from last week and apparently was written by JR’s Dev.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t realize they had a website focused
on F/m domestic relations and encourage all of you to check it out.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Regarding KOJ’s distinction between
the benefits we think our wives get versus those <i>they </i>say they get,
interestingly, most of Anne’s comments about the benefits she gets hinge not on
relationship things like “cleaning the slate” and ending arguments but, rather,
on her perceptions of her own power vis-à-vis me. She likes telling me to get
ready for a spanking and watching me comply. She likes ordering me to do things,
but the part she really likes is watching me struggle with my desire to tell
her fuck off and do it herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She <i>likes
</i>that I <i>don’t</i> like being bossed around and that I struggle to
submit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She likes making me nervous
about what she might do with an “anytime, anywhere, for any reason” grant of
open-ended authority.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0PMNthwz14Mt8bi9eHxm_GHBXmvdd-CBgFq7CGrTg2xTAaEUiNMItdUYQg2kYqFnKZbIRPU2gxGdC3l5_ecAHD6hdQ210Yem7c7yWlgH9Ua7vxbDwlHrnhhxjAwwB1KEW8xqTjun7lkjGDJWfzpB_oRAEbsNNI2Uxe-7jDqx40CC0TFoyeoW45EoSm0Qy/s802/tumblr_0ba7cebb8cd290283eecc4ff4b5f0850_f9383c0d_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="608" data-original-width="802" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0PMNthwz14Mt8bi9eHxm_GHBXmvdd-CBgFq7CGrTg2xTAaEUiNMItdUYQg2kYqFnKZbIRPU2gxGdC3l5_ecAHD6hdQ210Yem7c7yWlgH9Ua7vxbDwlHrnhhxjAwwB1KEW8xqTjun7lkjGDJWfzpB_oRAEbsNNI2Uxe-7jDqx40CC0TFoyeoW45EoSm0Qy/w400-h304/tumblr_0ba7cebb8cd290283eecc4ff4b5f0850_f9383c0d_1280.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">That all serves to explain
why her inability to intuit <i>why </i>I would want this kind of relationship
inhibited her ability to fully commit to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The power dynamics in her favor are her biggest perceived benefit, yet
the shift in our power dynamic is precisely what would be yanked out from under
her if I were to decide that my unknown “why” no longer outweighs the downside
of extremely hard spankings.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I know many of the long-term
commenters have answered, or tried to answer, these “why” questions before, but
I hope you’ll give us the benefits of your wisdom again. And, I invite the Disciplinary
Wives to weigh in on any of this and tell us in their own words what benefits
they get from DD.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you all have a great
week.</span></p>
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{margin-bottom:0in;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com67tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-46014230424667110742024-02-03T11:43:00.000-08:002024-02-03T11:43:04.684-08:00The Club - Meeting 465 - Even More<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“The longer and harder
you spank, the more he will love you for it.” – Aunt Kay</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you all had a great
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mine was okay, though we had relatives
visiting for part of it and Anne had a major social event to plan for and carry
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By mid-week, we both were pretty
worn out and just looking forward to life getting back to normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems like 2024 is off to a hectic start,
though not necessarily in a bad way.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCouR1gaigwE5HrZ-2jD3CmmduyMvfF4aTWACzkYIPzCmYChzlFoYTsl_2AVq5FkawD-w3WJE0O58eHRGHt-pWnbCkr0XSrGNWfqh9jr_8ebLrKE335Xn-ZoxVtdv423KCm5OphyphenhyphenPqLm0LfO3fTp5ufaanfICTQ5DDydPTSUANh7HW1NuAJUImpJs0fe1m/s756/yh6lrT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="756" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCouR1gaigwE5HrZ-2jD3CmmduyMvfF4aTWACzkYIPzCmYChzlFoYTsl_2AVq5FkawD-w3WJE0O58eHRGHt-pWnbCkr0XSrGNWfqh9jr_8ebLrKE335Xn-ZoxVtdv423KCm5OphyphenhyphenPqLm0LfO3fTp5ufaanfICTQ5DDydPTSUANh7HW1NuAJUImpJs0fe1m/w400-h286/yh6lrT.jpeg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I also spent a little too
much time on some local political stuff that included a little too much of what
passes for “discussion” in on-line community groups.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Last year, I put myself on a “news diet”
after I got a little too obsessed with the Ukraine war and media political
coverage. I started noticing the negative impact it was having on my emotional
health. It may be that 2024 needs to be the year of the social media diet.</span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK8HB-wX87iHn4mo0u56I6XbnMlIf8YMrfUPm8_5vIBGC6yeHNJmbn1u1GQ1lThaGJMmlQZ_DnTh0oV8TsNVP7AnAkmGMv6mhfGR1uzohLWwXaBNQt73z-Jief_VHt-LwPK5BdmfurF7kLTvRq4nF6ikOPiqufNLP4EEA0c_obxtJ1YO1jE5Ghi5jdQYaq/s480/CjZrFv.png.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="435" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK8HB-wX87iHn4mo0u56I6XbnMlIf8YMrfUPm8_5vIBGC6yeHNJmbn1u1GQ1lThaGJMmlQZ_DnTh0oV8TsNVP7AnAkmGMv6mhfGR1uzohLWwXaBNQt73z-Jief_VHt-LwPK5BdmfurF7kLTvRq4nF6ikOPiqufNLP4EEA0c_obxtJ1YO1jE5Ghi5jdQYaq/s320/CjZrFv.png.webp" width="290" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p>Because we were so busy with other
things, I haven’t had a lot of time to focus on a truly new topic for this
week.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Now that I’ve outed myself about writing
on the Medium [insert url] platform, however, I’m going to leverage an article
I posted there.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I promise not to do this
very often, as I admit it’s more than a little lazy.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">But, I did really want to introduce that separate
audience to some of the old Disciplinary Wives Club, which is harder now that
the actual site is down.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">And, in the
course of doing that, I was reminded how much I’ve loved one story in
particular, which was written by one of our semi-regular commenters, “al.” who
also goes by Alan Smith.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">So, here’s my little tribute
to his story, which was entitled <i>Even More</i> and appeared in the “Fiction”
section of the DWC website.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I’m reprinting the full story
here with his permission, intermixed with some spanking visuals.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Then I’ll talk a little about why it
resonated for me.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I won’t include
specific topic questions, so just jump in with any comments you may have.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Again, I don’t plan to take this lazy
approach very often.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">***</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">All things considered,
Susan had been quite patient. For a good ten minutes, she had listened to
David’s rantings flow through the telephone in a seemingly incessant stream.
She was not altogether unsympathetic to his frustration. Nevertheless, he was
just being plain grumpy and irritable. And the solution was all too obvious.
“David, stop. This discussion has ended and you are in for a long hard spanking
tonight. Maybe that will give you something else to think about for a while,”
Susan pronounced.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Immediately a bolt of
terror flashed through the pit of David’s gut. A trip over Susan’s knee was not
the stuff of fun and fantasy. He did not want a dose of Susan’s hairbrush. And
he especially did not want one tonight. Already depressed and upset over their
argument, he was definitely “not in the mood” for the thorough bottom
blistering that he knew Susan would deliver.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The immediate change in
David’s tone and attitude was nothing short of remarkable, “Oh, please, Susan,
not that, not tonight. I am really, really sorry. I just got carried away,
that’s all. You know how much I love you. I never meant to upset you. I promise
— not another word about it.” Susan replied softly but unyieldingly, “I know
you love me, David, and you’ll love me even more after I finish spanking you
tonight. I know you don’t think so now, but you will. I love you, too, David,
and you’ll just have to trust me — you need a good sound spanking. It really is
for the best. But I have to get back to work now. So I’ll see you when I get
home, and we’ll take care of it right then and there, and get it out of the
way. Bye now.”</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzrMulqDrY49icXQ73nsqVTa3Ac1oXgKSw9qm-_lRqCPiiPz9gtgWM3M8zVzCzMFKdbHZ_9uaq3skXzG2bJKTVbyhmcEvrlfuajq8X7ElQ7iX4PCl7WXAmRdHXD-lwN6xerd39zuIzCRXn1sVE60Ms7txiACxL2aG7OWldV0aVoiKAwOQ3CEbXhuW30U4B/s750/tumblr_1a7451ec55c53c8ea0bd5366fd5be27b_d824c2c6_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="676" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzrMulqDrY49icXQ73nsqVTa3Ac1oXgKSw9qm-_lRqCPiiPz9gtgWM3M8zVzCzMFKdbHZ_9uaq3skXzG2bJKTVbyhmcEvrlfuajq8X7ElQ7iX4PCl7WXAmRdHXD-lwN6xerd39zuIzCRXn1sVE60Ms7txiACxL2aG7OWldV0aVoiKAwOQ3CEbXhuW30U4B/w360-h400/tumblr_1a7451ec55c53c8ea0bd5366fd5be27b_d824c2c6_1280.png" width="360" /></a></i></div><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p>D</span></i><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">avid slowly hung up the
phone and buried his face in his hands, a sinking feeling settling into his
stomach as his bottom began to twitch and tingle involuntarily as he nervously
anticipated his forthcoming ordeal. Soon, David sank into a solemn reverie. He
had only himself to blame. He had been in the wrong, and they both knew it. And
why he had lost control and started with his whining and ranting was
incomprehensible. He had been spanked more than once for that same thing, he
certainly should have known better.</span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David briefly pondered the
idea that maybe this was the time to give up their disciplinary relationship.
Susan had told him that he could opt out of the arrangement at any time if he
had truly decided it was not for him after all. But she would not go back and
forth with it, playing games. He either wanted to be a disciplined husband, or
he didn’t. She would not leave him over his decision to cancel their contract,
but neither would she remain in a relationship with constant bickering and
arguing. If he did not choose to have her impose discipline on him, he would
have to find a way to become self-disciplined.</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijhsLu1LxDlpWnSSkXHuHjty9ZBogtZnrEZfbdLz46Z_iQC4uE5YYJys8wHXtguA3Z6n4WDZ5BYehZRPCEJyXWw9sBxGz0oeo0UJYXQHhWcyQ3ALtrmlkvFVSkrnjBRHQTy59rmncRfak1ldbyfQDvK877HP3x2WcgPuYs6C_GHAi3kQ8BRBQHDNKmoNrl/s648/tumblr_fff47d2d409d1dffccad6cf28510ac5b_208e8282_640.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="648" data-original-width="626" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijhsLu1LxDlpWnSSkXHuHjty9ZBogtZnrEZfbdLz46Z_iQC4uE5YYJys8wHXtguA3Z6n4WDZ5BYehZRPCEJyXWw9sBxGz0oeo0UJYXQHhWcyQ3ALtrmlkvFVSkrnjBRHQTy59rmncRfak1ldbyfQDvK877HP3x2WcgPuYs6C_GHAi3kQ8BRBQHDNKmoNrl/w386-h400/tumblr_fff47d2d409d1dffccad6cf28510ac5b_208e8282_640.jpeg" width="386" /></a></i></div><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">But he would not end it
and they both knew it. Despite his genuine dread of the excruciatingly painful
paddlings he received bare bottom over Susan’s knee, he did not really want to
give them up. The spankings were undeniably both unpleasant and quite painful,
but the idea of his submission in a way that redeemed him through very real
physical pain, and in a way that many would find humiliating and degrading
satisfied him in a way that was completely beyond his comprehension.</span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">And, he had asked for the
relationship, he reflected, as his thoughts drifted back over the past couple
of years.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">It had started as play,
with David introducing spanking into their sexual explorations. While spanking
had been a lifelong fantasy for David, Susan had thought it somewhat kinky at
first, but had gradually warmed to the idea. Although they had switched some at
first, it soon became evident that David’s passion was to bottom, and Susan
surprised herself by discovering how much she enjoyed the sense of power and
domination she experienced when playing the top role.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7S33GZ85Lr4N0HyG2Fs6tBRbBHF4Bvo7Jyr6VFTKv4Wr3-y-vjdmS_1UQrjpBzit4fVQxxxRpujvOIv0RPHIvdJQMeR7bvEF68KM3xFN0jPxOyVPu9ymMyyy-EqvORa6OIA6M2LeAkxybIz2pd1ReXqFQFoVr-QCTWM8U3hBU63vhcJPgXB8NXcbrI7YZ/s606/tumblr_0a8cd80a00ec80c2e38c3342becafc82_98a58226_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="606" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7S33GZ85Lr4N0HyG2Fs6tBRbBHF4Bvo7Jyr6VFTKv4Wr3-y-vjdmS_1UQrjpBzit4fVQxxxRpujvOIv0RPHIvdJQMeR7bvEF68KM3xFN0jPxOyVPu9ymMyyy-EqvORa6OIA6M2LeAkxybIz2pd1ReXqFQFoVr-QCTWM8U3hBU63vhcJPgXB8NXcbrI7YZ/w528-h640/tumblr_0a8cd80a00ec80c2e38c3342becafc82_98a58226_500.jpg" width="528" /></a></span></i></div><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The spankings had remained
light and playful for a time, with Susan giving David relatively brief hand
spankings, and maybe a few swats with a padded ping pong paddle, prior to their
making love. David had experienced little actual pain, mostly a mild sting,
with an occasional zinger thrown in for good measure.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">However, David’s real
desire, so he believed, was a real disciplinary spanking, the kind he had read
of so many times in the stories that appeared on the Net. Countless times he
had fantasized about being taken over a woman’s knee, and his bare bottom subjected
to a long and hard paddling with the hairbrush, the kind that would leave his
rear red and blistered, and tears in his eyes.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">But David just couldn’t
bring himself to express these secret desires to Susan. He was already
struggling with the idea that he was somehow diminishing his masculinity by
taking the bottom role, even in the mild spanking play they had enjoyed thus
far. To ask her to deliver the kind of disciplinary spanking he so often
fantasized about, and to explain what that entailed, was simply too much for
him.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The fateful event that was
to change all that was so simple it was almost anticlimactic. David found a
website. He was just surfing when he stumbled on “The Disciplinary Wives Club”.
Here he marveled as “Aunt Kay” encouraged wives to take matters “in hand” with
their bad boy husbands, and even included detailed instructions on how to
properly spank their errant spouses. And they were exactly the kind of
spankings he so often fantasized about, perhaps even more so.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">He had read with almost
morbid fascination Aunt Kay’s section on techniques, in which she advocated
bare bottom, over the knee spankings, delivered long and hard with the
legendary hairbrush. When hubby was finally let up, she had postulated, his
eyes should be wet with tears, his knees quivering, and his bottom very well
blistered. Her concluding remark had been, “The longer and harder you spank,
the more he will love you for it.”</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiniAKz33AWkwAq3JWagqHGBRDN-n44Ux0Wh4mAWPTX8tvXaQZBeFyuutOUWZdUxI63HLw1dGItwk0Pqp3E5TTAPb-j_KBNh-3BZkJu5xXhSj86hY32YjbC_QFJm3ty2Wn8-Ygp2qHd26zlQRGme69DBHH-JfTKSUq3aAUBWUzNwCKr-QL9AVUX0tc43PNQ/s970/tumblr_ppwovph2U51se36exo1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="970" data-original-width="878" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiniAKz33AWkwAq3JWagqHGBRDN-n44Ux0Wh4mAWPTX8tvXaQZBeFyuutOUWZdUxI63HLw1dGItwk0Pqp3E5TTAPb-j_KBNh-3BZkJu5xXhSj86hY32YjbC_QFJm3ty2Wn8-Ygp2qHd26zlQRGme69DBHH-JfTKSUq3aAUBWUzNwCKr-QL9AVUX0tc43PNQ/w363-h400/tumblr_ppwovph2U51se36exo1_1280.png" width="363" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">That final remark haunted
him, touched something deep and dark far down in his soul, as he read the pages
in the site over and over. This was it, he finally admitted to himself, the
realization of his fantasies, to be the disciplined husband of a disciplinary
wife.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Sometime later, Susan
returned from her shopping trip. And David, in a great leap of faith and
courage, managed to smile and say, as casually and light-heartedly as he could
possibly manage, “Susan, come take a look at this website. It looks like it’s
right up your alley.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan glanced over David’s
shoulder to see what he had found, and immediately said, “Wow! What’s this
about?”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">She spent an hour or so
seemingly engrossed in the information emanating from the screen, as David
nervously scurried about, putting groceries away, making Susan a cup of coffee,
and generally doing anything he could think of stay busy, trying not to drive
himself insane wondering what she must be thinking.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Finally, Susan turned away
from the screen. She remained silent for a moment, seeming to gather her
thoughts, and then said simply, “Dave, is this what you want?”</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7m9Pb2tx5F-mYgAze1vmZROkCQcYSmo0xbNnayXJI4JEpGOFKUmUYELDi3mFLTm9hiJCjClfrcac2iIXPaLnIWQAm59kU3rvlt_ZgiOmBece3YYXrKlKqTrCdmDsiZDkZPK4qFS5YBIXqnoIHVfK-yn2gNxTHjiLCTsYYK1qdxw7GR78aHQN7I59Sj1YI/s912/tumblr_9dfc285bd92a367500054502844e77dc_ef8b32d9_640.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="912" data-original-width="626" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7m9Pb2tx5F-mYgAze1vmZROkCQcYSmo0xbNnayXJI4JEpGOFKUmUYELDi3mFLTm9hiJCjClfrcac2iIXPaLnIWQAm59kU3rvlt_ZgiOmBece3YYXrKlKqTrCdmDsiZDkZPK4qFS5YBIXqnoIHVfK-yn2gNxTHjiLCTsYYK1qdxw7GR78aHQN7I59Sj1YI/w440-h640/tumblr_9dfc285bd92a367500054502844e77dc_ef8b32d9_640.jpeg" width="440" /></a></i></div><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p>Dave hesitated and
considered changing his mind, telling her that he just thought it was “funny”
or “interesting”, considering their spanking play. But, he had come so far to
even show her the site, he couldn’t lie to her now.</span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Soon he replied, softly,
seriously, “Yes, Susan, I think it is. At least I think I would like to
experience it.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan surprised him with a
smile and a giggle, “Oh good! I was hoping you would say that. Are you ever in
for it the next time you leave the toilet seat up!”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">They laughed together, and
with the ice broken, talked for hours about their desires, and the details of
their arrangement. David was able to confess his most secret fantasies, and
Susan was able to admit that their spanking play had sparked something she
didn’t know was in her, a passion for disciplinary dominance.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">By dinnertime, they had
typed up a preliminary contract outlining their rules for a disciplinary
relationship and had gone out to their favorite steak house to celebrate their
new arrangement. They had even stopped at the mall on the way home to find Susan
a real wooden hairbrush.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">They had no sooner arrived
home than Susan followed David into the bathroom to discover that he had left
the toilet seat up. “Damn it, David,” Susan exclaimed, “we just talked about
you not leaving the seat up this afternoon. You know that was one of the things
we agreed you would be spanked for.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David stammered, “Sorry, I
just forgot. You know it takes a while to break old habits. But I promise I
won’t forget again.” David really had forgotten to lower the seat, lost in
thought about all that had transpired through the day. And he was nervous. In
spite of all his fantasies, the reality of the contract and the purchase of the
hairbrush was beginning to sink in. He began to wonder if he had made a very
big mistake.</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyMZ3L36MFDV6E9Sxe1sClgZKnTKBOU5yZNBJKmfT9lCVRYIt1I0azc9O181Bql3pTWbDC85fY-ITxyIhZSyhf_Zq4FLYFkqcpLVe2CUOimDfmlahMP3FvLFvWgqsmuNu4XGe_E8LmHhKkqjQariQkMapms0k1y_Odto142NKpjm9R15oBth7BimmgCFv_/s640/000%20(2017_08_27%2003_26_12%20UTC).jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="479" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyMZ3L36MFDV6E9Sxe1sClgZKnTKBOU5yZNBJKmfT9lCVRYIt1I0azc9O181Bql3pTWbDC85fY-ITxyIhZSyhf_Zq4FLYFkqcpLVe2CUOimDfmlahMP3FvLFvWgqsmuNu4XGe_E8LmHhKkqjQariQkMapms0k1y_Odto142NKpjm9R15oBth7BimmgCFv_/w480-h640/000%20(2017_08_27%2003_26_12%20UTC).jpeg" width="480" /></a></i></div><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p>“Well, David, we’re just
going to help you make sure you don’t forget again. It looks like we’ll be
breaking in this hairbrush sooner than I expected. Take off your pants and meet
me at the sofa,” Susan replied curtly.</span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David gulped, “Don’t you
think I should get one warning, Susan? Don’t you think that would be more
fair?”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“David, you just signed a
contract this afternoon agreeing to no arguments about your discipline, and now
you’re already arguing. You asked for this arrangement, and you’re going to
live up to it. Now, do as I said.” And with that, Susan had turned and walked
away.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David removed his pants
and underwear and followed Susan into the living room, finding her sitting in
the middle of the sofa, hairbrush in hand.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan said nothing, but
tapped the brush against her thigh, the signal they had agreed on for him to
lie across her legs.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Remembering that the
contract called for extra punishment for anything other than immediate
compliance to this signal, he quickly laid him across her legs, the sofa
supporting his body. As was suggested in “Aunt Kay’s” spanking tips, she
wrapped her right leg over his two legs to help hold him in place once the
spanking began.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David’s mind briefly
wandered to remember the one time a few weeks later when he had argued about
crossing her knee on command. That had been a serious error. Susan had jumped
up and beat him mercilessly across his bottom and thighs. Grabbing his arm, she
had chased him around in a circle, furiously swinging the paddle against his
bare bottom and thighs, re-enacting that age-old spanking dance. He had finally
managed to drop to the floor and beg for mercy. But Susan had been hardly
merciful. He had still received his longest spanking to date over Susan’s knee,
and after corner time, had been soundly switched for his disobedience. He had
been reduced to sobbing by the time the nasty switch had worked its painful
black magic on him. He would never make that mistake again.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan had begun that first
spanking with, “David, I simply will not tolerate you leaving the toilet seat
up. It is thoughtless and inconsiderate. We have already discussed that you
will get a spanking for this, and that is exactly what is going to happen. And
you can believe that you will be remembering this spanking every time you sit
down for a few days to come, and maybe that will help you remember that I have
to sit down on the toilet. Do you understand?”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan swung her hairbrush
for the first time. WHACK!! It was only a moderately hard swat, but it was far
different from the mild swats that he had received by hand and occasionally the
padded ping pong paddle. It stung and burned and hurt. The very real pain of
the hairbrush was a shock; David really had no idea of the reality of what he
had so often fantasized about, but with first crack of the hairbrush, reality
became all too clear.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">He gasped, “Yes ma’am, I
understand. I promise it will never happen again.” “I hope not, David, because
the very next time you do, you will find yourself right back over my knee
again, and I will have to spank you much harder and longer. Do you understand
that also?”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!!
Susan alternated cheek to cheek, striking a bit harder this time, finding that
she enjoyed the sense of power she felt. David yelped. The hairbrush stung him
badly. He had no idea that it would really hurt so much. “Yes ma’am, I promise
I understand. I promise I will never ever forget again.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Well, we’ll see. I’m sure
you will try to remember after the I get through giving your bottom a good long
blistering.” WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!! Susan delivered two to each cheek
in rapid succession. She noted with satisfaction the pink glow that already
beginning to form on David’s rear.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David groaned and buried
his face in the sofa cushion. It hurt so bad. He could never have imagined.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“You really should be
ashamed, David, having to have your bottom spanked like this. You would think a
grown man could remember a simple little thing like leaving the toilet seat
down.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!!
WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!! Susan increased both the tempo and
force of the swats, quickly administering four sharp swats to each cheek. His
bottom began to turn a deeper shake of pink. David gasped, yelled, and swore into
the pillow as the paddle burned and tormented his exposed back side. His rear
was stinging badly now and he felt moisture beginning to form in the corners of
his eyes.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!!
WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!! Susan moved lower this time, catching
the underside of his buns with four brisk strokes each. She wanted to make sure
she painted his entire bottom a bright red by the time she finished with him.
If David really wanted to be a disciplined husband, she was going to make very
sure that he knew what he was in for.Tears were forming in David’s eyes now,
while he gasped and moaned as the merciless hairbrush set his ass on fire. He
hoped he wouldn’t cry, but the pain was so overwhelming.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan paused for a moment.
She had followed Aunt Kay’s advice to begin with sets of four and then eight
before proceeding to the main spanking, a warm up to make sure the shock didn’t
overwhelm him. David did appear to be over the initial shock. His head was
buried in the pillow and his breathing was heavy. He seemed to have accepted
his fate and given in to the ordeal to come.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">So Susan got down to
business, peppering David’s quickly reddening bare bottom with a nonstop rain
of wooden terror. She made certain no spot went unpunished, painting his entire
rear and upper thighs a colorful collage of pink, red, and purple.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David braced himself when
the swats resumed, hoping he could endure the next set without totally losing
his composure. But the terrible hairbrush kept coming, viciously attacking his
tortured bottom. The stinging pain was overpowering, nothing like he had ever
imagined. Somewhere around the twelfth swat of the latest barrage, he finally
gave in and pleaded, “Susan, please stop! I’ve learned my lesson. I swear!”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan only replied,
“Stop!? Hon, I’ve only just begun. I’m going to make damn sure you know what
you have coming to you when you don’t listen to me! And I’m going to make sure
you keep on remembering every time you sit down for the next week.” At Susan’s
pronouncement of an extended sentence, David completely lost his composure,
kicking, begging, pleading, and screaming as the paddle continued its
relentless and savage assault on his battered buttocks.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan was not at all
sympathetic to David’s plight. She briefly considered that she must have a
natural inclination for this sort of disciplinary dominance. She was definitely
experiencing a sense of satisfaction from the damage she was inflicting upon David’s
now red bottom, as well as his dramatic repentance.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The paddling continued
unabated. Susan worked the hairbrush repeatedly over every square inch of
David’s glowing backside. She alternated cheek to cheek, thigh to thigh, top to
bottom, then delivered several swats to a chosen sweet spot, before moving to
the next.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David was lost to all but
the searing, burning pain of the wood against his skin. He had tried to be
strong and resist it, but it was too much. Finally, he gave into it. Tears
turned to sobs as the paddle continued its seemingly unending dance across his
severely tormented bottom.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">And as David began to sob,
Susan decided he had learned what a real spanking was all about. She knew this
had been his fantasy, and she also knew that he was surely shocked by the
reality of what he had asked for. His bottom was a solid red, spotted with
purple bruises. He had kicked and screamed, begged for her to stop, and now was
sobbing openly. Certainly, he must have had no idea of the truth behind his
fantasy.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">She completed David’s
ordeal with a dozen swats, the hardest yet, all to the exact center of his
bottom. David’s sobs became gut wrenching, but it was finally over. Slowly he
had recovered, as Susan gently rubbed his bottom, and then taken him into her arms.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">He found himself
reflecting warmly on that first spanking, in spite of the awful pain to his
backside. He vividly recalled the soreness he had experienced when sitting for
the next several days. David’s reverie was suddenly interrupted by the clammer
of the telephone. It was Susan calling on her cell phone to let him know that
she would be home shortly and that he should assume the waiting position,
meaning that when she walked through the door he would have to be standing
naked in the corner. It was one of a number of traditions that had been
established during his last two years as a disciplined husband.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David wasted no time
stripping and heading for the corner. She would be home in no time, and he
certainly did not want to earn a switching by not complying to the disciplinary
rules Susan had set. A switching, in addition to whatever spanking he had coming
anyway, had become the expected punishment for failing to follow the rules of
discipline. David hated the switch the worst of all, and Susan knew it. So, she
had reserved it for what she deemed the most serious of offenses, failure to
immediately comply with her disciplinary instructions. If she allowed any slack
with this, she knew he would soon become unmanageable. And she did not allow
any slack at all. She showed absolutely no mercy when she had to use the switch
on him, and David tried his best to make sure she did not have to use it often.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Momentarily Susan came in
the front door and was immediately all business. She removed the hairbrush from
her purse before setting it down.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan began, “David, how
many time have you been spanked for ranting, bitching, and whining — five or
six times? Well, obviously you are not getting the message. And I’ve really had
enough of it. So, I’m going to try extra hard to make sure you get the message
today. Just so you know what to expect — you’ll be getting the hairbrush and
the strap. We’ll see if that will get through to you.”</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3c5nUX5VM17wD6S8us7nuDy5rSoNuP1LFTcMeZuV6eh7YtE3NDIc9IDivLcDSnHrVMKXkiPdymUpVMuJyxwwTSu37Oim-SduVpvMSnO5cCcjegKgUHEcl-JS6NbiecMpI5-Ei3CgyYRaWCdZ0Koh-icPZA4sGQqDHL7Wsq8F8hQqxiNqOm1Xp6jogYNSJ/s1352/tumblr_40654cb006fd9a3f44f5fe0470dcafd6_2261d67e_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1352" data-original-width="1136" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3c5nUX5VM17wD6S8us7nuDy5rSoNuP1LFTcMeZuV6eh7YtE3NDIc9IDivLcDSnHrVMKXkiPdymUpVMuJyxwwTSu37Oim-SduVpvMSnO5cCcjegKgUHEcl-JS6NbiecMpI5-Ei3CgyYRaWCdZ0Koh-icPZA4sGQqDHL7Wsq8F8hQqxiNqOm1Xp6jogYNSJ/w336-h400/tumblr_40654cb006fd9a3f44f5fe0470dcafd6_2261d67e_1280.jpg" width="336" /></a></i></div><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p>David’s heart sunk,
turning into a pit of fear and terror in his gut. His usual punishment was an
over-the-knee hairbrushing, and occasionally a standup session with the big
paddle or the strap, but, with the very rare exception of a switching for
resistance, he’d never received an over-the-knee spanking and a standup
spanking. The dread of his forthcoming ordeal was nearly overwhelming. It took
all his will power not to argue, but knowing that arguing would add a switching
to his punishment helped him to merely acquiesce and say, “Yes ma’am”.</span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan sat on the couch and
said, “Come here, David.” David walked to stand on her right side, knowing the
drill all too well. Susan looked somewhat irritated and asked, “And what do you
say David?” David gulped and realized he should have asked for his punishment
without prompting. It was another of the rules that Susan had implemented over
time.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">He quickly stammered,
“Susan, I am so very sorry for ranting today. I know very well that I should
have controlled myself. Would you please spank me, as long as hard as you think
necessary, to help me learn to behave properly in the future?”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan answered simply,
“Very well,” and tapped the brush against her leg. David quickly laid himself
over her knee. Susan promptly repositioned him, wrapping one leg around him.
And Susan immediately went to work, drowning his bare bottom in a veritable deluge
of hard, stinging whacks. Lecturing him the whole time, she paddled his quickly
reddening backside nonstop. As David had asked in the ritual request for his
punishment, she did indeed spank him long and hard, administering perhaps two
hundred cracks of the brush before finally finishing in a fierce volley that
left David heaving and sobbing.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Still sniffling, try to
regain his composure, Susan had led David to the corner. There Susan had
ordered him to stand, hands at his side, and not to dare even think of rubbing
his well blistered bottom.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">His reprieve was
short-lived, however, as Susan shortly returned with strap in hand. It was an
old-fashioned razor strap, one that she had found rummaging in through an old
chest in her parents’ attic. It was now kept well-oiled and ready for use.
David had felt its bite a good dozen times before, but never immediately after
a paddling. His bottom was still stinging and burning as Susan ordered him to
assume the position.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David could barely stand
the thought that he would be whipped again so soon after the very thorough
paddling he had just received, but he did not hesitate, not daring to risk a
switching also. So, he bent over the back of the spanking chair, grasping the
seat firmly with both hands.</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoN8N6teBXXycZQXR_HQ2EgVX0WHrxedjNxwGvyinPl27hoF0nKxCyIywHjcZk6hsDat2ZCerloIITRaJgcvZWFHWqUFODT7KHYjtlfsYkV2TarmPDw_7aXuL0CL40LlOI9EHFVf92MErg9OntQLwb0f3BwBoGPTLvYcXWRctKmYF5jhgxHVgCegQfs0gf/s859/tumblr_f750fd9fc6df243923009284a4cb68c9_301927dd_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="679" data-original-width="859" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoN8N6teBXXycZQXR_HQ2EgVX0WHrxedjNxwGvyinPl27hoF0nKxCyIywHjcZk6hsDat2ZCerloIITRaJgcvZWFHWqUFODT7KHYjtlfsYkV2TarmPDw_7aXuL0CL40LlOI9EHFVf92MErg9OntQLwb0f3BwBoGPTLvYcXWRctKmYF5jhgxHVgCegQfs0gf/w400-h316/tumblr_f750fd9fc6df243923009284a4cb68c9_301927dd_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></i></div><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan wasted no time. As
soon as he was bent over, the strap cut through the air and landed terrifyingly
across his upper thighs. David literally screamed in agony.</span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">But Susan showed no
sympathy. Again and again the strap sliced through the air and cut into David’s
already well-spanked bottom. By the time the twentieth stroke landed on his
scourged rear, David was almost incoherent with pain and sobbing vociferously.
His bottom was a jumble of red, black, blue, and purple. Bruises and strap
marks intermingled.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Susan paused there,
briefly wondering if she had perhaps gone too far. But remembering the advice
given to her online by another disciplinary wife — better to err on the side of
severity if you really want to make your point, she told David, “There will be
five more. I want you to remember with each one what this punishment is for. I
expect you to take control of yourself. I do not expect to hear any more of
your ranting, bitching, and whining ever again. If I have to spank you again
for this, God help you. Do you understand?”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David managed, between
sobs, to reply, “Yes ma’am, I understand.” And then Susan delivered her final
five cracks of the strap, each one finding its way across the middle of his
very well-spanked bottom. And when it was over, it was over. The debt was paid,
penance was done. Susan helped David up and held him, gently rubbing his
burning rear. David sobbed, both from pain and emotional release. “That’s ok,”
she whispered, “it’s all done now. I’m sure you’ve learned you lesson well this
time.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">EPILOGUE</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">After David had recovered
somewhat, they had gone out to their favorite restaurant. And despite some not
inconsiderable discomfort sitting, David found himself in quite a good mood.
The food, drinks, and service were excellent as always at the small steak
house. However, it was so much more than that.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">He sipped on his drink,
reflecting. He had just received perhaps the most severe spanking that Susan
had ever given him. Yet, he was content and satisfied. The air was clear. There
had been no arguments or anger. He had misbehaved and Susan had lovingly disciplined
him for it. He had taken his punishment and all was forgiven. It was over and
done with.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">He glanced across the
table at Susan with warmth in his heart and a twinkle in his eye, realizing how
much he loved this woman. She was not just his wife, but his lover, best
friend, and soul mate. She did so much for him, took such good care of him, made
him laugh when no one else could. Yet she would not hesitate to turn him over
her knee and blister his bare bottom until he cried like a well-spanked
schoolboy, if she felt his behavior merited it. And suddenly he realized, just
as Susan had predicted, he did love her even more.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">***</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Here are some thoughts on
why, in my opinion, this story exemplifies some common themes in these
relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 15pt;">It reflects the reality of
how many of these relationships begin.</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Many of the DWC fiction
stories began with a fed-up wife imposing the disciplinary relationship on a
reluctant husband. Others reflected a fully-baked DWC relationship, in which
the wife’s authority was already fully established.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Even More</span></i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> was one of the few stories depicting a husband
finding the DWC <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>website, or discovering
a need to take an erotic spanking relationship in a discipline or FLR direction,
followed by the embarrassing and painful aftermath of that discovery. While the
DWC stories in which the wife <i>imposed</i> the relationship on a reluctant
husband were very emotionally powerful to me, the scenario in which the husband
requests the disciplinary was under-represented yet much more true-to-life.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In the story, David has a pre-existing
interest in erotic spanking, but until he discovers the DWC, it’s just a garden-variety
kink. The disciplinary aspect is something different. It’s darker. Deeper. More
disturbing yet also has a morbid attraction that the purely erotic spankings
don’t.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho8n_15cxdbxyz2MzRXhoD0ZaoxUa1UOKmekI5X1I2k0db2fTjr_S93C_4NqRW4iAlsp3hNPEQO1CxnXb4n4buU1vargiq0JkeiH191Z1U-ccDy_6ceAhSLiSjsjLdT84DCSuzrc2LZ-RfB-YXlRqx29KcnZHy-OqhmWHV68NGl_yRwDDX2Kpo_P8peZ_U/s500/tumblr_9c440602904b57fdaf79750c5c5956ee_9879536e_500--1680277328403.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho8n_15cxdbxyz2MzRXhoD0ZaoxUa1UOKmekI5X1I2k0db2fTjr_S93C_4NqRW4iAlsp3hNPEQO1CxnXb4n4buU1vargiq0JkeiH191Z1U-ccDy_6ceAhSLiSjsjLdT84DCSuzrc2LZ-RfB-YXlRqx29KcnZHy-OqhmWHV68NGl_yRwDDX2Kpo_P8peZ_U/w640-h640/tumblr_9c440602904b57fdaf79750c5c5956ee_9879536e_500--1680277328403.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></i></p>“He had read with almost
morbid fascination Aunt Kay’s section on techniques, in which she advocated
bare bottom, over the knee spankings, delivered long and hard with the
legendary hairbrush. When hubby was finally let up, she had postulated, his
eyes should be wet with tears, his knees quivering, and his bottom very well
blistered. Her concluding remark had been, “The longer and harder you spank,
the more he will love you for it.”</span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">That final remark haunted
him, touched something deep and dark far down in his soul . . .”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">That is exactly how that
quote from the DWC hit me. It was “haunting.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The embarrassment, and
vulnerability, are palpable.</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The prospect of tears and a
blistered bottom truly did scare the hell out of me. I couldn’t imagine
experiencing such a thing, yet I couldn’t <i>stop</i> imagining it. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David discovers the DWC,
becomes obsessed, feels compelled to bring it to his wife’s attention — and is
embarrassed to his core the whole time. He presents a light-hearted front, but
inside he’s a bundle of embarrassed nerves.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Even when a husband and wife
have played with erotic spankings, there is something very different, something
much more ego-threatening, about asking for real disciplinary spankings.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">It’s not the difference in
severity. It’s the prospect of a transformation in the very power structure of
the relationship. David knows deep down inside that he’s suggesting something
that, if made real, will result in his wife having a new level of control and
authority over him, if only when it comes to discipline. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTo96PQ_QN_1e-dAVFiZ0D9OySi9IGMnG6kix3kqo0lbLuzbIQfOCiQK4ee55ftFTlVXlTCCQolqEhxBRZ62Kkh2rRd6IKHcRF843rI2C0lHu7OtnRIdUwdiAxjmjZ1F57dqzCY7j4K_AM-0yBshqp0FVD4V2BJkBd6RmFYXsxhaUr6-PUbAbTHst1dLuq/s1024/tumblr_ab891982e1c19dd2f0c3a3a7c97663aa_e2ddc6c5_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="683" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTo96PQ_QN_1e-dAVFiZ0D9OySi9IGMnG6kix3kqo0lbLuzbIQfOCiQK4ee55ftFTlVXlTCCQolqEhxBRZ62Kkh2rRd6IKHcRF843rI2C0lHu7OtnRIdUwdiAxjmjZ1F57dqzCY7j4K_AM-0yBshqp0FVD4V2BJkBd6RmFYXsxhaUr6-PUbAbTHst1dLuq/w426-h640/tumblr_ab891982e1c19dd2f0c3a3a7c97663aa_e2ddc6c5_1280.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p>Although, there is the
line about her finding she had a gift for “disciplinary dominance,” which to me
indicates that from the beginning things were heading in the direction of her taking
more command of the relationship as a whole.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David learns important
truths about himself, and the couple’s overall marital communications go from
good to great. </span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">We who are into these
lifestyles know that it’s very rare that there is a “natural” disciplinary wife
who imposes or even raises the issue. More often, it is the man who has these
deep-seated desires. He brings it up, and the wife goes along with it as an
accommodation. Or, maybe she’s into the kink but taking on the role of a real
disciplinarian isn’t something she’s ever even considered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s probably also very often the case that
the couple starts with erotic spanking, but it becomes something more.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David and Susan start
experimenting with erotic spanking, switching at first but then she quickly gravitates
to the top role. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David then discovers the DWC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s already feeling a little emasculated by
taking the “bottom” role in their erotic spanking adventures. But, he feels a
compulsion to bring it to her.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">She embraces it immediately
with an enthusiasm that goes beyond what I personally experienced when I first
brought the DWC to Anne.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t comment
very much when I first told her about it, in bed, with the lights off, so she
couldn’t see how flushed I was with embarrassment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She took a look at the website the next day
and, while she did agree to try it, I did get the sense she thought the whole
thing was kind of weird. And, although she started delivering very hard
paddlings and strappings very soon after our initial session, it took a lot for
her to start really getting into the superior role in the way Susan immediately
takes to in the story.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo_jJxjHpRrjDkHN8kiBDpaN9T9lJKUSxLX6XeJPDawTMp1d8r3xPsCf1TzclgOEfJayxfmxs4IijLY523gfazpmy-RkP7IgxqZkpXnZyQHGxYwdWzozm6Mmu0mq5OavRMqp1m9VDFmHUn0IqLMdWjxJzW8K6FjhdFq3R7vNi90q5FK27dwB9483fbjpYb/s811/tumblr_oa85gzp64K1vy2f73o1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="811" data-original-width="452" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo_jJxjHpRrjDkHN8kiBDpaN9T9lJKUSxLX6XeJPDawTMp1d8r3xPsCf1TzclgOEfJayxfmxs4IijLY523gfazpmy-RkP7IgxqZkpXnZyQHGxYwdWzozm6Mmu0mq5OavRMqp1m9VDFmHUn0IqLMdWjxJzW8K6FjhdFq3R7vNi90q5FK27dwB9483fbjpYb/w356-h640/tumblr_oa85gzp64K1vy2f73o1_1280.png" width="356" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;">There also is an almost
immediate improvement in the couple’s communication, though it seems to have
been pretty good already, and the conversation itself leads to improved
self-awareness.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I suspect that is a
hallmark of many genuine DD relationships – if the communication wasn’t already
good, the husband never would have brought it up.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“They laughed together,
and with the ice broken, talked for hours about their desires, and the details
of their arrangement. David was able to confess his most secret fantasies, and
Susan was able to admit that their spanking play had sparked something she
didn’t know was in her, a passion for disciplinary dominance.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Be careful what you wish
for. You might get it.”</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">David works up the courage to
ask for what he thinks he wants. He gets it. For his relationship, it’s great.
For his butt? Not so much.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The first spanking sucks, and
it gets worse from there. Yet, no matter how bad they are in the moment, he
knows he won’t give them up.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“But he would not end it
and they both knew it. Despite his genuine dread of the excruciatingly painful
paddlings he received bare bottom over Susan’s knee, he did not really want to
give them up.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">That’s been my experience. I
never, ever want real spankings, but I have a deep need for them.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">That need is both emotional
and practical. Something in David wants the dark, scary aspects of being
subject to his wife’s authority. I feel his emotionally-rooted need.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">For me, the need also exists
in the practical sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are times,
usually when I’ve gone through an unusually long stretch of uninterrupted good
behavior, that I wonder if I’ve finally “outgrown” it.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Right around the time I have
that thought, I inevitably crash right through the guardrails and end up over Anne’s
knee. I hate it at the time but, the spanking ends just like the story — with
me loving my wife even more.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcXI1dqS_cPsnRiXY_xAyMXvocm3tW_5cVavWAEhfTuE0ycvm6swIwFGS_N0skvwkJDFc9MYwHucPEbbf6-VsukAdNZAqhOR5q31Ei2Ihn6H-qRtFkXvDtQfvQbH82g4LxG-wzVPICziqUataiQ87q96PdQSrJ8pZVIPD-1WTY84ztw7XlwuWB7yMbu54s/s1280/tumblr_e3ef9dc48539d2f444877acc29eb13ea_e6df0c5a_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1280" height="600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcXI1dqS_cPsnRiXY_xAyMXvocm3tW_5cVavWAEhfTuE0ycvm6swIwFGS_N0skvwkJDFc9MYwHucPEbbf6-VsukAdNZAqhOR5q31Ei2Ihn6H-qRtFkXvDtQfvQbH82g4LxG-wzVPICziqUataiQ87q96PdQSrJ8pZVIPD-1WTY84ztw7XlwuWB7yMbu54s/w640-h600/tumblr_e3ef9dc48539d2f444877acc29eb13ea_e6df0c5a_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Thanks for bearing with me and
I hope you enjoy the Even More story if you haven’t read it before.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you have a great week.</span></p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com60tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-74619916729974141752024-01-26T15:52:00.000-08:002024-01-26T16:01:04.698-08:00The Club - Meeting 464 - Healthy Fear<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Courage is the facing
of a challenge with a healthy fear, not being fearless.” -Les Stroud</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I also wanted to raise a couple
of housekeeping issues.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">First, for several months
now (since Blogger started requring logins for all visitors), I’ve been double-posting this blog’s content, posting here on Blogger and then posting a duplicate on Wordpress at <a href="http://www.disciplinedhubbies.wordpress.com">www.disciplinedhubbies.wordpress.com</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I haven’t closed the Wordpress site to
comments, at the beginning of each post I point back to the Blogger site as the
place to engage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In terms of effort, doing it
twice honestly isn’t that big a deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
fact, I kind of like having two content repositories, in case one or the other gets
taken down by the powers-that-be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I
do think the time has come to make a choice about which should be the primary
place to comment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I don’t see strong pros or cons either way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Blogger site seems
to get slightly better coverage in Google’s search engine. Blogger is also somehwat easier for me. I’ve gotten more familiar with WordPress over
time, but the available features vary a lot from template to template, and I
still can’t figure out how to do things like having a list of links to other
blogs that will update when there are new posts. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">On the other hand, Google hasn’t done jack to update or improve Blogger in years. The spam filter algorithm is a chronic mess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Visitors
still have to sign in with a Google account to see the blog (I think that's still the case – please correct me if I’m wrong). And, every two
or three years Google changes its rules on blogs with adult content and threatens to get rid of them entirely.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I don’t have strong feelings
about it one way or another, so please take a look at the WordPress version and
let me know which platform you prefer. Also, if you visit, would you please verify whether it requires a login to leave comments?<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Second, at least a couple of
you know this already, but I’ve been experimenting with an entirely new venue,
<a href="https://medium.com">Medium</a>, which is an open platform for writers in any genre. I’ve posted some original DD content
there, though most of my posts so far have been adapted versions of my blog posts. I’ve
done it under another pseudonym, with some open leveraging of the DWC brand (with Tomy/Jerry’s express permission).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I didn’t bring it up here
before now, because I wanted to test whether there was some pool of people
interested in F/m DD who weren’t already participating in the blog. I also thought that it
might be an interesting way to get around to writing a DD-themed book, with
each <i>Medium</i> article becoming a book chapter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Has it been a success?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It depends a lot on how you define that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Medium articles tend to get good coverage by search engines, and some of the articles have been read close to
10,000 times, with several getting at least 2,000 to 3,000 views.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, clearly there are some folks out there
who are interested. On the other hand, while <i>Medium</i> does have a comments feature, as a tool for real interaction it’s been a
total flop. I think the issue is that <i>Medium</i> allows only a limited number of
free articles per month, so most of the readers are paid subscribers using a
profile that includes their real name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because they aren’t using a pseudonym and can’t comment without a profile,
they don’t comment at all. (Just fyi, while authors can make money on <i>Medium</i>, I haven't joined the program that allows for that. The payment algorithm is a mystery, but I know it depends in part on reader engagement, <i>i.e.</i> "likes" and comments and, as I said, as an engagement tool for this particular niche, it's been a failure.)<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Based on the identified profiles that “follow” my articles, however, I can get a feel for the reader demographics. Like here, the vast majority are men. But, there are several female
followers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps unsurprisingly,
almost all of them are erotic writers using Medium as one of their
platforms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, every once in a while I get someone whose profile is totally vanilla.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always find myself wondering what their
story is. . . .</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I haven't been using the <i>Medium </i>posts to direct readers here, as I wanted to see how much interest my posts would generate on that platform totally independent of this blog. But, I may do that in the near future. <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Anyway, on to an actual topic. <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">This week’s topic came to me indirectly
following an exchange with ZM on the “outing” post from a couple of weeks
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> He </span>said:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The
topic of “outing” hits pretty close to my fascination with witnesses so is
pretty compelling to me. I still don’t quite know why I want others to know.
Perhaps some part of it is what Alan said: “But one's sexuality is so central
to who we are that hiding it at best misses an important opportunity to
self-actualize.” Another reason may be that, having experienced adult
spankings, they lack the emotional impact that childhood spankings had (or at
least that I thought they had), and I have realized that much of what is
different is the absence of the embarrassment of others knowing. Or probably a
myriad of other reasons.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I responded:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I
know what you mean about the difference between the fantasy and the reality
when it comes to emotional impact. For me, I don't think the gap is so much
about others knowing. In fact, I think that being wholly out might actually
lessen some of the emotional impact. For me, the difference in emotion
is all about the power dynamic and the extent to which a punishment feels like
it is being imposed whether I like it or not. That's why, for me, the emotional
power of being out probably depends a lot on who is doing the outing -- me or
her.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">There was something I
should have added:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> The emotional impact of childhood spankings was, for me, intimately tied up with a genuine fear of parental discipline and paddlings from </span>other authority figures, including principals and teachers.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">While I didn’t get spanked
often by my parents, I definitely had a healthy fear of it happening. In that area of the country, belts seemed to the primary instrument and both my parents knew how to swing one with force.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnqvXWhvDCxzyQRj1OWsXs8mDOXHj9OD7lUH8zZRSgiG2vAgB6eKv17xrElf9GKvlF8K0q3RzsmLTlDONE5M7FTs-RGaEQ3fEJ1D6yrbRYbxRx4rOqVVBl1HCLUohcQ1s44KEMEhFLbiOTR9C3Hm2_GemrIOPQAQ8V69dVWrPJhv6xKDFqboqV88sCaMA/s490/z-used-after-belt-white-pantz-down-1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="402" data-original-width="490" height="329" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnqvXWhvDCxzyQRj1OWsXs8mDOXHj9OD7lUH8zZRSgiG2vAgB6eKv17xrElf9GKvlF8K0q3RzsmLTlDONE5M7FTs-RGaEQ3fEJ1D6yrbRYbxRx4rOqVVBl1HCLUohcQ1s44KEMEhFLbiOTR9C3Hm2_GemrIOPQAQ8V69dVWrPJhv6xKDFqboqV88sCaMA/w400-h329/z-used-after-belt-white-pantz-down-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I don’t think I was ever
paddled in school, but I was sent to the principal’s office at least twice, having been led to believe (by the teachers who sent me there) that I would be getting one. Honestly? I was scared shitless both times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a very healthy fear of a principal’s
paddle, particularly because most families in our community followed the rule that punishment at school automatically meant a follow-up session at home.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibgH7qN7KD1FhAQtrDRwI40LirBBuS5cF0By6HrFjhYsGIUOwHcN47aitefNa1TjpBqWEg-xpQCxi3E8R4uLmdBkVC3m1EHWkVXNCAPzDDayqB2-4tAJFe9Xo_CliNaT3o-p-NCHt-0vZUUIu3sT4cMMWB_C3QMfYV7XnTgbvospeO9T5jMSIF2gNfKA9m/s699/tumblr_pebdbc6UME1tg0fb5o1_500.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="699" data-original-width="397" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibgH7qN7KD1FhAQtrDRwI40LirBBuS5cF0By6HrFjhYsGIUOwHcN47aitefNa1TjpBqWEg-xpQCxi3E8R4uLmdBkVC3m1EHWkVXNCAPzDDayqB2-4tAJFe9Xo_CliNaT3o-p-NCHt-0vZUUIu3sT4cMMWB_C3QMfYV7XnTgbvospeO9T5jMSIF2gNfKA9m/w364-h640/tumblr_pebdbc6UME1tg0fb5o1_500.jpeg" width="364" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Looking back, I don’t think
it was so much the anticipated physical pain of a session with my dad’s belt or
a principal’s paddle that induced such fear. Rather, it was the knowledge that a session could
be imposed for any reason they deemed deserving and, once they decided to do it,
there was nothing whatsoever I could do to stop it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As ZM notes, at school there was the added element of
other students knowing that you were going to be, or had just been, paddled.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In the earliest days of our DD
relationship, my fears about losing control were central to the anxiety I felt, and in two slightly different senses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, the
knowledge that going forward she would have more control and I would have less was
both tantalizing and terrifying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second,
I was afraid of losing control in the literal sense of emotions, and tears,
flooding out during a spanking and the extreme embarrassment I would feel in that moment.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDM514FRHYgMRkLjNL2yFMmTFb05YtOPjjrn15hOIDXM378jkVwmn4FwO6PkHbKKKY5vqS70b3fUblzhFvmGpTvPqK4mS7QZaMni2qQI1AaGocd8VnW-rMLbRdoJQ8rKGyDPEbVy34ULd2kS1lIroSxivGmTgSUOgHa6AJHp9OJQK9-tB4Ycz41nj4_j31/s1205/tumblr_507865c52042687070a1ac14652d3b82_28c84106_1280.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1205" data-original-width="564" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDM514FRHYgMRkLjNL2yFMmTFb05YtOPjjrn15hOIDXM378jkVwmn4FwO6PkHbKKKY5vqS70b3fUblzhFvmGpTvPqK4mS7QZaMni2qQI1AaGocd8VnW-rMLbRdoJQ8rKGyDPEbVy34ULd2kS1lIroSxivGmTgSUOgHa6AJHp9OJQK9-tB4Ycz41nj4_j31/w300-h640/tumblr_507865c52042687070a1ac14652d3b82_28c84106_1280.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I learned over time that
while tears may or may not come, for me the change in the relationship dynamic--with me losing autonomy in a very real way--is an ongoing source of healthy fear. Yet, it's a fear that I really do wish was a bigger constant day in and day out, for the reasons ZM alludes to, i.e. the emotional intensity I felt back in the day at the prospect of being punished under circumstances I could not control. <br /></span></p><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><style>@font-face
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{page:WordSection1;}</style><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In one of the DWC publications, Aunt Kay voices a wish for the aspiring disciplined husband that alludes to the interplay of severity and inevitability and their impact
on attitude:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“My
goal is for you, the man in the relationship, to one day ask yourself, “Oh, NO!
What did I get myself into?” as you await an upcoming spanking session that you
desperately want to avoid. Yes, that’s right. I want you to be genuinely
anxious and dreading an upcoming discipline session. Why would I say such a
thing? Because it means your wife has taken the role of disciplinarian
seriously, has made a decision that you are going to get a good sound licking,
and you have nothing to say about it.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I learned very early on that fear
and eroticism are not mutually exclusive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My strongest memory of the few days that passed between me finding the
DWC website and our first try at it is the combination of extreme anxiety coupled, paradoxically, with extreme sexual excitement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our initial
conversation about the lifestyle culminated in Anne sending me to buy a high-quality
brush.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I recall vividly walking around
our local mall, in a state of sustained high-anxiety, while sporting a sustained erection. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I can’t emphasize enough that
I was genuinely fearful about not only the upcoming first spanking but also the
transformation of our relationship that might be coming. The sexual turn-on
existed apart from that fear, and maybe because of it.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I know that talking about
having a “healthy fear” of your wife makes some skittish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, to me it seems almost inherent in
the whole concept of punishment as discipline.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdypHInxPb8uEaIVV0s-WxYtAfMriHBNa6ifhgvRGreCqGmxlVMHVmBU-DPVsE9iG0bhhs4lgUHjhDwI-cXqSMepxm6EQlIP2M_hyphenhyphenV1yhRu1dzv4f3rAq0RBd_gEuauYFh7-Xg2uSxFFyd4xPsocaXLhM7ha5-LjvNtNSzvMLIbGZz_H4gpa7CfWUHoMGg/s540/tumblr_pbwvrsJ6Pl1ulkwvdo1_540.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="540" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdypHInxPb8uEaIVV0s-WxYtAfMriHBNa6ifhgvRGreCqGmxlVMHVmBU-DPVsE9iG0bhhs4lgUHjhDwI-cXqSMepxm6EQlIP2M_hyphenhyphenV1yhRu1dzv4f3rAq0RBd_gEuauYFh7-Xg2uSxFFyd4xPsocaXLhM7ha5-LjvNtNSzvMLIbGZz_H4gpa7CfWUHoMGg/w640-h426/tumblr_pbwvrsJ6Pl1ulkwvdo1_540.png" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">If you don’t fear the
consequences your wife may impose, then what’s the likelihood you’re going to
change your behavior?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I probably could make the
“healthy fear” concept more palatable by saying it’s about fearing <i>consequences</i>
versus fearing the wife delivering those consequences, but that’s splitting
hairs.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Part of coming to terms with
the nature of the relationship I proposed to my wife all those years ago is
accepting that, for this lifestyle to work as I intended, I need to have a healthy fear of not playing by her rules. I <i>should</i> be
genuinely afraid of the consequences of disobedience and misbehavior.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">And, similar to those
expected spankings from a school principal, it’s not just about the fear of the
pain involved with a really hard paddling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Rather, it’s about loss of control and, more specifically, having that
control taken away. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu-aWOERaWDxO8CAp6IXEAcK4ne-QqehRsn2rsRTBGsAkOUxB_lmEJyd_4pDRFf9AXOnQ2TR7EUOtQPY_IFSZBMKxnFQB39xI9NXSjGmbwHRT2A1mKuX5cdY4Tyk897DWVIPXF4ExUrh3vyRbKWFGSBARswzcnXWAvUL7G8Z7kiKwWkV4bhNsDpRrHtJxX/s750/tumblr_m6plafoTLN1r7qduto1_500.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="464" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu-aWOERaWDxO8CAp6IXEAcK4ne-QqehRsn2rsRTBGsAkOUxB_lmEJyd_4pDRFf9AXOnQ2TR7EUOtQPY_IFSZBMKxnFQB39xI9NXSjGmbwHRT2A1mKuX5cdY4Tyk897DWVIPXF4ExUrh3vyRbKWFGSBARswzcnXWAvUL7G8Z7kiKwWkV4bhNsDpRrHtJxX/w396-h640/tumblr_m6plafoTLN1r7qduto1_500.jpg" width="396" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I still vividly recall one of
the first times I experienced Anne not just imposing discipline as we had
agreed but really taking charge. A few years ago, I had a string of incidents
in which I forgot to clean out a rice cooker. The third time it happened, she
texted an angry emoji along with a picture of the cooker with the rice still in
it. I apologized. She did not reply.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">That night, I was sitting at
the kitchen table doing some work on my laptop, when she walked in from her
office.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“One of the chores I gave for
this weekend was to sweep the floors, right?”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Lost in whatever I was working on, I replied without looking up from my laptop. “Yes. I did that already.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Pointing to some dog hair on
the hardwood floors that I had missed, she demanded, “Does this look “swept” to
you?”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“I’m sorry. I must have
missed that bit,” I responded, still not paying much attention. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“You also left the closet
door open again this morning. You know the cat goes in there and tears things
up when you leave the door open.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Did I? Sorry.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“So, you did a half-ass job
on the floors, you left the closet door open repeatedly after I told you not
to, and then there is the damn rice cooker. Shut down your computer and
go to the basement. You are going to get spanked.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">What
was happening hadn’t quite registered yet. I just looked at her.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“What are you waiting for?”
she demanded. “Get down to the basement, get out the tools, and get your pants
off. You are getting spanked, and I mean now!”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">And, that’s what she did. I hoped, given the nature of the offenses, that it might be a fairly light
spanking. No such luck. She thoroughly blistered my ass with a combination of
the strap, paddle, and bath brush.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu0v52l3O8zRkcej8bn1Uj8rvXInq__tx-Sg4gqhW6J8NPvE6HMmjsE405xDSoNGM7Ko8amuoKLeiewXiHPtqxwhbQn054ugf08E_9CCQVYEc1qnHPBlIiFlL17I_7LOFdSNJDF_8yJ8EAxbdyvMjdLZdOogRS4WzNctdrzdJCRSiaAJ8SHOLCuseUSkHf/s1920/tumblr_1609698c9d0477c83ce4ca85b09571c6_99e472a3_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu0v52l3O8zRkcej8bn1Uj8rvXInq__tx-Sg4gqhW6J8NPvE6HMmjsE405xDSoNGM7Ko8amuoKLeiewXiHPtqxwhbQn054ugf08E_9CCQVYEc1qnHPBlIiFlL17I_7LOFdSNJDF_8yJ8EAxbdyvMjdLZdOogRS4WzNctdrzdJCRSiaAJ8SHOLCuseUSkHf/w426-h640/tumblr_1609698c9d0477c83ce4ca85b09571c6_99e472a3_1280.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">As I collected myself after
it was over, part of me resented getting such a hard spanking for “small”
things. And, it had happened without any kind of warning or chance to correct the things she was pissed about.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">However, I also felt a deeper
level of respect, along with the first glimmerings of that “healthy fear.” The
resentment and the respect were inextricably intertwined. She had decided that something merited a hard spanking and she had delivered one, not caring in the slightest how I felt about it.<br /></span></p><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I
was no longer in control. She was.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">ZM’s comments about the additional
emotional component that may be involved in being “outed” contributes to that
sense of “healthy fear” that I actually want to feel for my wife. KOJ’s description
of the semi-public spanking his wife delivered during a party has stuck with me
since the first time he told us about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As Alan has observed about it:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">It’s
all well and good to talk about “anytime, anywhere, for any reason,” but it’s
kind of a meaningless grant of authority until she uses it in a way that truly
pushes the envelope. By spanking him in a semi-public scenario, it undoubtedly
left him feeling a sense of “healthy fear.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">KOJ confirmed that was the
case. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I
totally agree that escalating the punishment to semi-public had a profound
effect on me and our relationship. It planted a healthy fear in my heart and
made it clear how much authority she really wielded!”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Anne hasn’t taken things in
that direction. But, I know she could and that it's not a given that she won't. I recall that KOJ said he didn't believe his wife would really do it even as she was leading him up the stairs. He didn't think she would -- until she did.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I’ve related here before an
incident that happened a few months ago after a dinner with another couple. The
wife is the only vanilla friend who knows about the disciplinary aspect of our
relationship. As we were driving home, my wife let me know that she thought I
had been too loud and domineering over dinner and that she would be spanking me
the next day.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Then, for good measure, she
let me know that when the husband and I had left the table to get a drink at
the bar, she told our friend that I was going to get a spanking.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I felt very embarrassed the
next time I saw them. I don’t know whether she’s told her husband that I get
“for real” spankings, but spouses talk, right? Every time I looked at them I
couldn’t help wondering whether they were picturing my naked, blistered butt
under my wife’s brush.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">While not nearly as big an
escalation as KOJ experienced, it’s just not that big a jump from telling a
friend in private, to telling her in front of me, to telling the husband and
wife in front of me, to asking if she can borrow a room at a party.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">How big a role, if any, does “healthy
fear” play in your DD relationship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do
you have a healthy fear of your wife?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are
you willing to share some moments when your fear/anxiety level ran particularly
high?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is it that produces that
anxiety? The physical pain?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The loss of
control? The embarrassment?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something
else?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggOgS8wF2eE7CdlRSxsW4cCfFPrx559GIEB1aSEK1Fbif6WM-6jlhoDgKeLWVOYafKFECinrARdK461mjFZ-ZwL2ChFWpO4rJUy8n_q88HmuIfhAfcGAGqgCqKRg5_iKpB28aX0-k2LmM_WR01qaa5hVy2ETvC8WQ5GilAIoubTZn6CIior3sj2X9FGeHS/s800/tumblr_nvv5jx5Keg1tjz7myo1_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="623" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggOgS8wF2eE7CdlRSxsW4cCfFPrx559GIEB1aSEK1Fbif6WM-6jlhoDgKeLWVOYafKFECinrARdK461mjFZ-ZwL2ChFWpO4rJUy8n_q88HmuIfhAfcGAGqgCqKRg5_iKpB28aX0-k2LmM_WR01qaa5hVy2ETvC8WQ5GilAIoubTZn6CIior3sj2X9FGeHS/w498-h640/tumblr_nvv5jx5Keg1tjz7myo1_1280.jpg" width="498" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">For the wives, are you
comfortable with “healthy fear” being part of your husband’s reaction to your
authority?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is producing that kind of
anxiety/fear in him one of your goals?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are
there things you do to ramp up his anxiety level?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you have a great week.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com61tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-75762196983354549092024-01-21T13:13:00.000-08:002024-01-21T13:13:09.682-08:00The Club - Meeting 463 - Rooms for Spanking<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“There is nothing noble
in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to
your former self.” - Ernest Hemingway.</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you all had a great
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ours was pretty uneventful, which
is mostly good though I also feel like we are in a big rut where DD—or more
accurately, the absence of DD—is concerned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We got busy around the holidays and, even though I probably deserved
multiple ones from Thanksgiving on, it didn’t happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, now it’s going on two months, and while
I’m not exactly missing getting spanked, I do miss feeling more firmly under
her control. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Of course, it’s not like
there isn’t a real reason or two to get one, though it would probably involve expressly
asking for one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, somewhat
ironically, the most obvious reason why I should get one is procrastinating on
asking her to agree to a plan for dealing with . . . procrastination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitUTBIvdVWNp-RcLcDCuLD3zOfkbKFIvDz7DEAyUZtf0o4pKQ6YFxiUZO9GN1F_HEY5o0N_T3aNc8Fvfq38eK830wfq0cG6kvMH__8d8VwT7wD3P8oAJ2rK_9dztzRaXMnR8FySiP0VlY6sy3FyCg9pJs3-69E5Ns7U8DJYL23udBrYsFrByIebIAyx1-P/s1144/tumblr_97c7f1151d2e092b17d783c8ffb637cc_dff47d0a_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="908" data-original-width="1144" height="508" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitUTBIvdVWNp-RcLcDCuLD3zOfkbKFIvDz7DEAyUZtf0o4pKQ6YFxiUZO9GN1F_HEY5o0N_T3aNc8Fvfq38eK830wfq0cG6kvMH__8d8VwT7wD3P8oAJ2rK_9dztzRaXMnR8FySiP0VlY6sy3FyCg9pJs3-69E5Ns7U8DJYL23udBrYsFrByIebIAyx1-P/w640-h508/tumblr_97c7f1151d2e092b17d783c8ffb637cc_dff47d0a_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />In my first post of the new
year, I talked about how I felt like I stalled last year when it came to
forward progress on big life goals. I spent some time between Christmas and New
Years working through my thoughts about which post-retirement life goals I felt
like I really wanted/needed to at least try for and came up with some ideas
around concrete action items to move the ball forward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, here we are 20 days into January, and
I’ve done little or nothing on any of them, including presenting anything about
them to Anne to stimulate a discussion about whether she’s willing to supply
some motivation.<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">While I didn’t get much
accomplished this week and there was no disciplinary activity at home, it still
was an interesting week for me where spanking and DD-FLR references were concerned.
</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">First, as I talked about in a
comment last week, I’ve been bingeing the series <i>Fargo </i>on Hulu.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Season 4 is by far my least favorite of the
five seasons, but it starts out with a bang. In the opening scene of the first
episode, we are introduced to the narrator and major character, a brilliant and
precocious black teenager in Kansas City in the 50s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We know she’s precocious because she says so
in narrating a series of scenes in which she is either waiting in the
principal’s office for a paddling or is being escorted back to class after a
paddling. In one scene, she’s standing by her desk post-spanking and her
teacher tells her to sit down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
declines after multiple attempts, making it clear she got the kind of paddling
that makes sitting a very painful experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Even though the series is
pretty new, it doesn’t exactly present these school paddlings as abuse with all
the pathos and condemnation we might expect, though it is clear that 1950s
racial dynamics are at the heart of why we see black teenagers being paddled by
a white principal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In any event, while I
have seen other school paddlings in movies and TV, this is perhaps the most
explicit I’ve seen since <i>Dead Poets Society.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></i></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Second, I overheard a
conversation that had nothing to do with disciplinary spanking, but for someone
with my proclivities, it might as well have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had just finished a workout at the gym and decided to put in a few
minutes in the sauna before showering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There were four guys in the sauna when I sat down, and they were having
a very animated conversation. One of the participants was an older gentleman
with a very heavy accent from somewhere in Africa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve overheard some of his other locker room
conversations, including one in which he said he is a professor at the local
college. I have no idea how the conversation started, but as I settled in the
professor was talking about how a friend of his advised that we all need to
find a woman who is basically a controlling nag. The gist was something along
the lines of, "My friend makes a good case that you don't want a passive
woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You want one who is constantly
nagging and pestering you. One who is always asking what you are doing and
why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One that is always questioning your
judgment."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">One of the younger guys
looked flummoxed and asked, "Why the hell would I want something like
that?" </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">The professor replied,
"Because that is the way the world works. It nags you and pesters you and
constantly shows how your judgment was wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You won't make as many mistakes and will start making better decisions
if your wife questions you constantly. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
will keep you in line and keep you from making as many mistakes."</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj19dM_zFCK0EJhXJOyVah2lEzD59PPpn873vlR_8s4P_4cHiSrEKeH12ItaRs-_ryCOBBdHNJal_TXpPwZltsmbNJeK70Kkfm8t5Gpzd_G_0jpvJ5NccNvOcD6XlyCxkEYLCGE7j6B_lkevl7tfFGocknGk_tOBCTUnkK6ebomEBJ7k7vNoLiKilxMlv_9/s1178/tumblr_f153c8b29c2599da42fb6bdd389cc756_8d111c90_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1178" height="522" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj19dM_zFCK0EJhXJOyVah2lEzD59PPpn873vlR_8s4P_4cHiSrEKeH12ItaRs-_ryCOBBdHNJal_TXpPwZltsmbNJeK70Kkfm8t5Gpzd_G_0jpvJ5NccNvOcD6XlyCxkEYLCGE7j6B_lkevl7tfFGocknGk_tOBCTUnkK6ebomEBJ7k7vNoLiKilxMlv_9/w640-h522/tumblr_f153c8b29c2599da42fb6bdd389cc756_8d111c90_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I swear the younger guy then
replied with, "Yeah, I can see that. Kind of like she’s holding me
accountable."</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I smiled broadly and nodded
along.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Third, a few weeks ago a
commenter here said (I presume tongue-in-cheek) “Do you have any idea how many
warmed bottoms you have been responsible for?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I replied that if he meant men who had decided to try DD because of this
blog, I thought the number was probably very low.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My experience has been that most of the men
who have found this blog did so after they were already in a DD or FLR
relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, this week a guy
reached out to me by email and said he had read some of my stuff and was
planning to ask his wife to give him real disciplinary spankings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He kept me up to date as the discussions were
going along, and his wife was receptive to the idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to admit, it was gratifying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Despite all those DD-related
cues, this is another week that I struggled a bit to come up with a topic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, one of Alan’s comments from a week ago
gave me an idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In discussing leaving
instruments on display, he said:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">We
have a different approach to the display of her disciplinary tools. It is
something we used early at my suggestion and something she has returned to many
times. She had an old-style armless straight-backed chair when we met. It
became her go-to, along with the couch, when she spanked me OTK. She kept it in
a guest bedroom, where she often took me for punishment.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">After
marriage, I suggested she keep it in our bedroom in a corner with a hairbrush
on it to remind me of her authority. She did so, and it really worked.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf-YpwJCTBsSoKrL2P-CwNGZA0WDgajkCTYOfN3Adpkt3JjoRlf0dTNnXwDBsoIle8tuve4TtLgcTfWV7qp4LbUSs5RlS3QlCjKkb81vRbw0i4Fq_yCvZw4mf2jXiUdM7tTRgHkGOY_WBoJoXdHEYmaUGvukqW1AaruNgPnVltuRah8djb-1jtbrdSfeU7/s1315/tumblr_b5fc3b36e47a013b68a89f3e72d785b7_d967764d_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1315" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf-YpwJCTBsSoKrL2P-CwNGZA0WDgajkCTYOfN3Adpkt3JjoRlf0dTNnXwDBsoIle8tuve4TtLgcTfWV7qp4LbUSs5RlS3QlCjKkb81vRbw0i4Fq_yCvZw4mf2jXiUdM7tTRgHkGOY_WBoJoXdHEYmaUGvukqW1AaruNgPnVltuRah8djb-1jtbrdSfeU7/w622-h640/tumblr_b5fc3b36e47a013b68a89f3e72d785b7_d967764d_1280.jpg" width="622" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">His reference to being
spanked in two different bedrooms made me curious about which rooms in the
house others are spanked in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize
this is a narrow, pedestrian topic—right up there with “what’s your least
favorite instrument”—yet it is something I genuinely am curious about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Also, since Alan's comment centered on a piece of furniture, let's also talk about which items of furniture you have incorporated into your spanking sessions. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This an area where we are not
very adventurous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since the kids grew up
and moved out, 99% of our spankings have been in our bedroom.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Since rediscovering OTK a
couple of years ago, the vast majority of spankings have been with her sitting
on a large leather ottoman at the foot of our bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-gcHiBUDEBEideRNG308-u5NNrfiByxGNwvdfihg6YiT4zH5qzwNBxil4w-VXX3s7LtvitNlbnRaVnInRW9qLmXG7tuMeECc16-vnOjLyRcqRQqFTA_CrNhsEx6AmQ93pMpRsdya3YiBo9kU_leAJhywLZ8Liakvovu_XhSqDPLl5xFhUeWpWfXJD0Ovk/s1600/tumblr_66cc7e9dca25be85225b2176090ab48a_79f51b87_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1144" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-gcHiBUDEBEideRNG308-u5NNrfiByxGNwvdfihg6YiT4zH5qzwNBxil4w-VXX3s7LtvitNlbnRaVnInRW9qLmXG7tuMeECc16-vnOjLyRcqRQqFTA_CrNhsEx6AmQ93pMpRsdya3YiBo9kU_leAJhywLZ8Liakvovu_XhSqDPLl5xFhUeWpWfXJD0Ovk/w458-h640/tumblr_66cc7e9dca25be85225b2176090ab48a_79f51b87_1280.jpeg" width="458" /></a></div><br />There also have been a few with her sitting
on the bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the rare occasion (these days) that
she’s using a strap or large paddle, it tends to be with me bending over the
side of the bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixZA5gWdAzugk3PvGCd0uVmdKs1DzqXJeHNN27-dhRN6goypkL3CYJ-OIwbjV6WS08l125RBz5wwk5LEktLkagHRzIqttyTEjGnnYNFUUGe5StriXSRxYbY9djRJPghmKOdBMLokwn4Xl6PYGjc4Cjr-olHtIV8HW_14fq-Y0Xsti24wm3zaDiV0DjGJzb/s701/tumblr_oc0ckfMZCU1um4koho1_540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="701" data-original-width="540" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixZA5gWdAzugk3PvGCd0uVmdKs1DzqXJeHNN27-dhRN6goypkL3CYJ-OIwbjV6WS08l125RBz5wwk5LEktLkagHRzIqttyTEjGnnYNFUUGe5StriXSRxYbY9djRJPghmKOdBMLokwn4Xl6PYGjc4Cjr-olHtIV8HW_14fq-Y0Xsti24wm3zaDiV0DjGJzb/w494-h640/tumblr_oc0ckfMZCU1um4koho1_540.jpg" width="494" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In earlier days, it was very common for her to strap me while I was laying on the bed, draped over several large pillows. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz18ooGJ2P8CHGzD_874Uy2GkGLMwEQX1WIi5WXQAk22JvlkUpBsWfLBzvUmMzKEh0I-S_fOXxu8KqMyEp-xjuinc9Z51pmzEFY0A5_jr8uPSXFsfL8ERjX9rA29EdwRzURqEDdbQOzylNstwjSqoMDccZqOv3VIg56hTE5KRxSYkVIPm9Q1zPHwWs9VV5/s576/0000000000000000000%20here%201%20spanking-ladies-naughty-boys%20tumblr%20com%2040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="576" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz18ooGJ2P8CHGzD_874Uy2GkGLMwEQX1WIi5WXQAk22JvlkUpBsWfLBzvUmMzKEh0I-S_fOXxu8KqMyEp-xjuinc9Z51pmzEFY0A5_jr8uPSXFsfL8ERjX9rA29EdwRzURqEDdbQOzylNstwjSqoMDccZqOv3VIg56hTE5KRxSYkVIPm9Q1zPHwWs9VV5/w640-h480/0000000000000000000%20here%201%20spanking-ladies-naughty-boys%20tumblr%20com%2040.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">A couple of months ago, she
decided to spank me in one of the guest bedrooms. The change of scene
definitely added a little something to the experience, as did the fact that we
live in one of those depressing suburban neighborhoods with small lots, with houses
absurdly close together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The way that room
is configured, the bed is very close to a window that faces dead-on one of the
windows in my neighbor’s house, with only a few yards separating the two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While Anne did decide to close the window
shades, there still was a non-trivial risk that a spanking could be overheard.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwLQMhB3Nn_3c2uWGycXvEYzb8DwJR6yFuM_AFgT8KuI7MKn9sw7iCMg8Lb4Djfg8Ye2W5Zi5qq1TzUq9jJFpS8T1kKSr8j8ljXrCnhjUkh_5sxo7fiyPKf64Y6suyvv028Oq78G_Tl55gcDzCA3XNgSYpDN6W2N-4ZKfOL9t4WcHQ8PrUuEJjvAIA61Uj/s870/tumblr_69c47bcdbd125ce7d00e73e0b3142e39_013cdb22_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="621" data-original-width="870" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwLQMhB3Nn_3c2uWGycXvEYzb8DwJR6yFuM_AFgT8KuI7MKn9sw7iCMg8Lb4Djfg8Ye2W5Zi5qq1TzUq9jJFpS8T1kKSr8j8ljXrCnhjUkh_5sxo7fiyPKf64Y6suyvv028Oq78G_Tl55gcDzCA3XNgSYpDN6W2N-4ZKfOL9t4WcHQ8PrUuEJjvAIA61Uj/w400-h285/tumblr_69c47bcdbd125ce7d00e73e0b3142e39_013cdb22_1280.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In the old days, when we had
little kids in the house, spankings almost always took place in the basement,
usually with me draped over the arm of a couch or a small stool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8H3EhXMEPlggkg-e3oVPTRkc6dDCQ_gRHP0jst8LUA68Xsu_A1cAmwb_kWGNA8szKK4VVQhXoz8pFGOaudQPSVjFgg7XrVTFTK1XE9fWrxeWN104sqTM6z1zAGkJo6R-uhAHp-5tq_BKVPPy5mpDBuzoU-yZC-IkrhV9T8RLQHlKxwOHsHaCDw1UuEJRA/s479/331.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="479" data-original-width="469" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8H3EhXMEPlggkg-e3oVPTRkc6dDCQ_gRHP0jst8LUA68Xsu_A1cAmwb_kWGNA8szKK4VVQhXoz8pFGOaudQPSVjFgg7XrVTFTK1XE9fWrxeWN104sqTM6z1zAGkJo6R-uhAHp-5tq_BKVPPy5mpDBuzoU-yZC-IkrhV9T8RLQHlKxwOHsHaCDw1UuEJRA/w391-h400/331.jpg" width="391" /></a></div><br /> That’s really about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like I said, we haven’t been very
adventurous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How about you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which rooms in your house or apartment have
you been spanked in?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Bedrooms?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Home office/library?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3X7jk1psz9j1yy2Vq4Lj_FHz7C-zWoh2qDAtV1RD_oeZnxddJP-sjUk3k7fgdLXGEZqxsBDUPos6cS02NZM6sBLQG_XUxWkV45eeAWB2e5SFZX2eeW50AKRNUgEuJIeyqSjrpEdX72KF8yW7_dohQAaBqF2kFoaFA33xACRx6Fn8W5caoOAtpRNT8P4_p/s570/tumblr_o10trpZzdJ1ubl9p1o1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="570" data-original-width="271" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3X7jk1psz9j1yy2Vq4Lj_FHz7C-zWoh2qDAtV1RD_oeZnxddJP-sjUk3k7fgdLXGEZqxsBDUPos6cS02NZM6sBLQG_XUxWkV45eeAWB2e5SFZX2eeW50AKRNUgEuJIeyqSjrpEdX72KF8yW7_dohQAaBqF2kFoaFA33xACRx6Fn8W5caoOAtpRNT8P4_p/w304-h640/tumblr_o10trpZzdJ1ubl9p1o1_400.jpg" width="304" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Kitchen?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Living room/family room?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Bathroom?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij1nAOxx79V_7s_iMXD-KvNOAz1V_GUBrdnGW9aLwiYKdzVSx_R20kWgViYIzTDESY2CcWLiRTtwvyqW2y3n2RG3VNF9XxKeKOalFoBjYBgS_IBgtnVa-mtU1LStGe9sd5p6C_70NM8uOm9R6i-j24IvNC5FMg3o8n-au5-K3My8UiUQMwXZnHmbfIMkUH/s520/domme-wife-spanks-punishes-submissive-man-drawing-15365047019_femdom.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="520" data-original-width="450" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij1nAOxx79V_7s_iMXD-KvNOAz1V_GUBrdnGW9aLwiYKdzVSx_R20kWgViYIzTDESY2CcWLiRTtwvyqW2y3n2RG3VNF9XxKeKOalFoBjYBgS_IBgtnVa-mtU1LStGe9sd5p6C_70NM8uOm9R6i-j24IvNC5FMg3o8n-au5-K3My8UiUQMwXZnHmbfIMkUH/w554-h640/domme-wife-spanks-punishes-submissive-man-drawing-15365047019_femdom.jpeg" width="554" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Let’s also add other “rooms”
on the property, like garages, barns, and the iconic woodshed.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzFFJlZjoEc-mL0bOBBgrlw7CI-UsC94d5TTuLA738lAA0ib29yDMtsn4SsQz3NWnlPGaPIXneUMH-bltN9e5SEAhDSZNKtVl3pcNdnTQ3HcmCyWwo3fviW3YugDvQ8BS4fMlJY4qTVuxBrKEwhg3G7qftKB6JvHnIIfiSF7Py04cICr35lT3aqdxW-pbH/s400/n_a16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="308" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzFFJlZjoEc-mL0bOBBgrlw7CI-UsC94d5TTuLA738lAA0ib29yDMtsn4SsQz3NWnlPGaPIXneUMH-bltN9e5SEAhDSZNKtVl3pcNdnTQ3HcmCyWwo3fviW3YugDvQ8BS4fMlJY4qTVuxBrKEwhg3G7qftKB6JvHnIIfiSF7Py04cICr35lT3aqdxW-pbH/w492-h640/n_a16.jpg" width="492" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you have a great week.</span></p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com60tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-71853090888131012452024-01-14T12:52:00.000-08:002024-01-14T12:59:42.350-08:00The Club - Meeting 462 - Outing and Being Outed<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Nail up some indecency
in plain sight over your door; from that time forward you will be rid of all
respectable people, the most insupportable folk God has created. -- Paul
Guaguin</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We
miss having you around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you all had a great
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like much of the rest of the
country, we are huddling inside trying to stay warm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As much as I appreciate the inspirational
humor in this meme, I wouldn’t think about it where we live, as something would
likely freeze and fall off.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRNA-nxZqR0AxTEahfFEiBmvduVHRu7rAk6GBgtOiOL06bwS8sLG41D8whjCwSMb015y1mhOqeix2HD0CYCagJJE9AB04pfozjd9LdgmjMqJkppDvT-b-a-jJxuCHzsivmN5HFJ6RntiD3gTDd2H86G9WKhfbtrJAANlPkUSlyJGuCBF13-vnUvctOtrSY/s640/dirty_mind_come_here_640_high_23%20(1).jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="538" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRNA-nxZqR0AxTEahfFEiBmvduVHRu7rAk6GBgtOiOL06bwS8sLG41D8whjCwSMb015y1mhOqeix2HD0CYCagJJE9AB04pfozjd9LdgmjMqJkppDvT-b-a-jJxuCHzsivmN5HFJ6RntiD3gTDd2H86G9WKhfbtrJAANlPkUSlyJGuCBF13-vnUvctOtrSY/w538-h640/dirty_mind_come_here_640_high_23%20(1).jpeg" width="538" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Although we had a good
discussion last week, I feel like some of our regulars are still enjoying the
holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truth be told, a half-month
into the new year I too don’t really feel like 2024 has gotten started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s the weather that I mentioned, keeping
us in what feels like I state of suspended animation. We also had some family
and household obligations during the first two weeks of this new year that
ending up taking up more time and emotional commitment than we really saw
coming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The result has been that 2023
ended with more of a whimper than a roar where all things DD were concerned,
and that hasn’t changed much in 2024.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The result is, I still haven’t presented Anne with my thoughts on some
personal goals I would like help with and, in fact, I haven’t even finalized my
own thoughts on the specifics of that ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, I guess you could say that 2024 is starting out like most other
years – irrational optimism fizzling quickly upon encountering real life.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The discussion of leaving
instruments on display covered some good ground, though it seems like most of us
who responded were, in fact, fairly comfortable leaving instruments of some
sort on display, even if in doing so we were depending on any visitors not
actually discerning that the items on display <i>are, </i>in fact, associated
with spanking. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Something we also probably should have talked about more is the possibility of someone inadvertently coming across a spanking implement, and what our reaction was (or likely would be).</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA4bHfNPbYLGUh768C9roht3jkpv2-_aDzk9N8hawdL1nN9ycxTW_AIv0IneGqt5fbVhXhlaqdSlULa0aSRe5e1MaxoHzgVm9cG1SSlSznoc4y6br38pwh7NsFyisRall3LHL883BhS30EkKGBTdG7Yd62Wpu45YQ7Nb8hjuoZMzzWT-jzdf1oPnaHN9rE/s545/wic%20MomFind%20mom%20I%20think%20Dianne%20better%20answer%20that%20question%20for%20you%20watch.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="545" data-original-width="494" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA4bHfNPbYLGUh768C9roht3jkpv2-_aDzk9N8hawdL1nN9ycxTW_AIv0IneGqt5fbVhXhlaqdSlULa0aSRe5e1MaxoHzgVm9cG1SSlSznoc4y6br38pwh7NsFyisRall3LHL883BhS30EkKGBTdG7Yd62Wpu45YQ7Nb8hjuoZMzzWT-jzdf1oPnaHN9rE/w580-h640/wic%20MomFind%20mom%20I%20think%20Dianne%20better%20answer%20that%20question%20for%20you%20watch.jpg" width="580" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Some, like Spanked Cowboy
and Norton, seem to be pretty comfortable with more or less open displays.
Norton even saw it as a possible conversation starter:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Leaving
spanking implements out is an appealing idea, as it is an open invitation for
guests to inquire about it. We sometimes have a paddle hanging on the wall, but
it is hidden if any guests are around. I did forget to hide it once, but she
didn't ask about it. My cleaning lady discovered a paddle under the bed, and
she put it on the bedside table, but she never asked about it. In general, it's
a great idea, and it could lead to sharing your DD with others. If they aren't
comfortable inquiring about it, then they won't say anything.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">My own inclinations are
probably closer to Alan’s, which I might describe as “less is more.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“We
have a different approach to the display of her disciplinary tools. It is
something we used early at my suggestion and something she has returned to many
times. She had an old-style armless straight-backed chair when we met. It
became her go-to, along with the couch, when she spanked me OTK. She kept it in
a guest bedroom, where she often took me for punishment.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">After
marriage, I suggested she keep it in our bedroom in a corner with a hairbrush
on it to remind me of her authority. She did so, and it really worked.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">She
has spanked me in that chair, but that is not the reason it works. I know I am,
in fact, unlikely to be spanked in our bedroom. It works because it is a
regular reminder to me of her authority and what can happen if I forget that.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br />
Just seeing it over and over has deepened my commitment to obedience to her.
And she has told me that it makes her feel powerful when she really looks at
it. No one except her mother and one sister is ever in our bedroom, so we can
leave it there except when they are expected, or we are traveling or on
vacation.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I
also get a sexual tingle from it sometimes, and I suspect she does, too. The
chair with a hairbrush on top makes a statement that is very powerful
emotionally and sexually. But it's very different from leaving disciplinary
tools around where they may be seen. It's very private and personal. Her sister
has seen me spanked, and her mother knows she spanks me. But neither of them
has ever seen the chair.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I’ve talked about how Anne
and I leave her ebony hairbrush and bath brush on open display in the master
bath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While a visitor to our bathroom
might draw certain conclusions, for me the display functions more as
private reminder. Though, as I’ll talk about more below, at this
point I don’t have any big concerns about someone drawing their own
conclusions.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The topic of leaving spanking
instruments on open displays segues nicely into Alan’s suggested topic, which we'll take up this week, i.e.
being “out”:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Dan,
this probably deserves its own topic someday, offering folks a chance to think
through and express their feeling about being "out". Like most I am
in conflict over it and conflict as usual produces paralysis when left
unresolved. But one's sexuality is so central to who we are that hiding it at
best misses an important opportunity to self-actualize. The example of the
LGBTQ+ community is so instructive re: what happens when hidden sexual
minorities assert their rights. People in DD relationships, male and female, no
matter what side of the paddle you are on, deserve the right to remain private
but also the right to be open if they choose. And anyone who chooses to demean
us on any grounds is as much of an empty-headed bigot as the racist or gay-
basher down the street.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I get the conflict Alan feels
around openness and being “out.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hell,
my approach to this blog probably epitomizes it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I obviously feel some deep need to talk about
this lifestyle, since I’ve been doing so here on a weekly basis for almost a
decade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Yet, it’s also true that I use a
pseudonym and don’t share many identifying details. There is only one vanilla person in my life
who (for sure) knows about our DD activities, and there are only four or five
others who I’ve met through this blog and have formed a relationship with that
includes some personal contact and knowledge of the other’s real identity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oEbaOOi5_S4FPuQuadvTvwJWvkLofcyRXtvWuaoA_yUvsLrP9vZWRFiPzrq0jA9fO0zfHlwqmqAplf93xBa_Owf7DdbHhXr7DDrVt6evxdw-8mrvdZgqiCIvKIlOxeN2RfoXekhAHzA64zbFpsRFIeImai2LBMdtKlsxFA1QAA-oFirCovvcHc9n9C7f/s960/tumblr_ef10859191a26cfe5d19dc7807d2c3c9_4f019b94_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="894" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oEbaOOi5_S4FPuQuadvTvwJWvkLofcyRXtvWuaoA_yUvsLrP9vZWRFiPzrq0jA9fO0zfHlwqmqAplf93xBa_Owf7DdbHhXr7DDrVt6evxdw-8mrvdZgqiCIvKIlOxeN2RfoXekhAHzA64zbFpsRFIeImai2LBMdtKlsxFA1QAA-oFirCovvcHc9n9C7f/w596-h640/tumblr_ef10859191a26cfe5d19dc7807d2c3c9_4f019b94_1280.jpg" width="596" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Do I wish for a greater
degree of “outing”?</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Yes and no.</span><span style="font-size: 15pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">On the one hand, most of the time I don’t
feel any compelling need to share more than I already do. But, I do think that
my overly paranoid concerns about confidentiality have cost me some opportunities
for connections that I wish I had not missed out on.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The best example is Aunt Kay
of the Disciplinary Wives Club. I learned about the DWC when it was still functioning
like an actual club of sorts, with participants having real contact with each
other and particularly with Aunt Kay and her husband “Jerry.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Within a couple of years, it had started its
decline, with website functions vanishing one by one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did exchange a few emails with Kay before
she passed away, and she was familiar with this blog and told her husband she
hoped I would keep the DWC spirit moving forward, and I’ve since formed a real
relationship with him. Yet, I regret that my concerns about “coming out” and
disclosing my identity kept me from initiating more real contact with Aunt Kay
and others in the DWC before it was too late.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Also, I’m sure that being so
closeted about this has cost us in terms of the consistency we both think would
help with behavior correction through deterrence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not as big an issue now that we are
empty-nesters, but not being more “out” certainly set a pattern that we’ve
never really escaped from despite having the house to ourselves most of the
time.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">So, although many of us think
about what it might cost us if we were “out,” it’s wrong to assume that there
are no costs associated with <i>not </i>being out, if only the cost of lost
opportunities for community and connection.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Therefore, knowing there <i>is</i>
a cost to <i>not</i> outing myself, why have I not come fully out of the DD
closet?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, most of it is just
inertia and also a feeling that it probably wouldn’t change much in the way I
live my day-to-day life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can
truthfully say that since retiring, most of the time I have neither a great fear of being outed
or a great desire to open that part of myself up to the world.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I’m also not sure where Anne
is these days on the whole “openness” thing. I’ve talked about how over the last
year she started spanking me with the window shades open, which creates at
least the theoretical chance that a neighbor could get an eyeful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, it also may be telling that, for the
handful of people who know about our DD and know my real identity, the reason
they know is because <i>I </i>told them. As far as I know, in twenty years
of this thing we do, Anne has not told anyone herself, though she is open about
it with the one vanilla friend I told.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I feel like I’m not the norm
in that respect and that, among those who are partially “out” it has more
typically been the wife who has decided to do that outing, whether it is
telling a sister or girlfriend and/or inviting someone to witness or overhear a
spanking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> In fact, in going through my collection of spanking art for this post, I could not find a single meme or piece of spanking art depicting a scenario in which the husband did the outing and, in most instances, the scenarios implicitly or expressly involved a wife deciding to "out" the DD relationship to others over her husband's objections or at least without his affirmative consent.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhezNO5BQl-8N9U959hQnyPpInIjN9JoFjz2nCfmr3qViIwjWcEOEzWAo3weQVTVcRaxCx-20_KuRkY8IF4INYbnuLT908mu4uz2mnWR35IiQlq9JvttdZTlB3TGJeEG5IjL8yBIdtcth7PY_GDTrseyMuOvplRZNE8Cju6iuZk34LlDDw8urT1m_VC1eU/s1114/tumblr_e55a1bdf83d48eaa871d9d062a97b9f5_5f100595_1280.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1114" height="345" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhezNO5BQl-8N9U959hQnyPpInIjN9JoFjz2nCfmr3qViIwjWcEOEzWAo3weQVTVcRaxCx-20_KuRkY8IF4INYbnuLT908mu4uz2mnWR35IiQlq9JvttdZTlB3TGJeEG5IjL8yBIdtcth7PY_GDTrseyMuOvplRZNE8Cju6iuZk34LlDDw8urT1m_VC1eU/w400-h345/tumblr_e55a1bdf83d48eaa871d9d062a97b9f5_5f100595_1280.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">And, for those who are closeted,
it’s an interesting thought experience to test the extent to which real power
has been ceded to the wife to ask what if she told you she wants to be more
openly in charge?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if she told you
that she wants it be clear that she wears the pants?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if that included her disclosing to
anyone she chooses that she spanks you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">And, which would you find
more embarrassing for others to know – that she spanks you, that those
spankings are for real punishment and discipline, or that she has some degree
of unequal authority in your relationship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Your answer might shed some light on a question that may be implicit in the
connection Alan drew between being “out” about DD and “out” about sexual
orientation, <i>i.e.</i> what is your assessment of where society is in terms of both
gender equality and openness to kink? Is there a consensus that society is
becoming more accepting of spanking if it is a kink but not if it is a tool
used to reinforce a man taking second place to his wife in the decision-making
hierarchy?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I also very recently came across this piece of spanking art, which to me raises all sorts of interesting feelings about the prospect of total strangers knowing. Why <i>do</i> we care so much about the judgment of strangers?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU2uB_uUkqDs23sxJNyb9cq4sGH7Lmd97EU3EBwE5OLrW90bVD9poNb5F_cB89rlpEGfRtNWvkpzssMjWTv_36GdTAhp0Cy5UUmRk1xaSu9tAF1qm2NeBFYg6Hu9fXAM_1liLNvtxSSY9Q6K74cZeyvmHJddinVZIBz5ShyHhaOa4XNm8AQ5kCatIHbO2H/s1670/Hardcastle,+Anticipation_32.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1670" data-original-width="750" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU2uB_uUkqDs23sxJNyb9cq4sGH7Lmd97EU3EBwE5OLrW90bVD9poNb5F_cB89rlpEGfRtNWvkpzssMjWTv_36GdTAhp0Cy5UUmRk1xaSu9tAF1qm2NeBFYg6Hu9fXAM_1liLNvtxSSY9Q6K74cZeyvmHJddinVZIBz5ShyHhaOa4XNm8AQ5kCatIHbO2H/w288-h640/Hardcastle,+Anticipation_32.jpg" width="288" /></a></div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">If any of the wives would
like to join in, I would personally be very curious what you think about
openness and “outing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To what extent
are you currently “out” about your disciplinary or FLR lifestyle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would you feel embarrassed if others knew
about it? If so, why, given that you aren’t the one being spanked or bossed
around?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you have concerns about “outing”
your husband, or would you see that as part of the process of reinforcing your
role or, perhaps, humbling him?</span></p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com56tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-72939665100523086752024-01-07T16:40:00.000-08:002024-01-07T16:40:13.751-08:00The Club - Meeting 461 - Tools on Display<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“But that intimacy of
mutual embarrassment, in which each feels that the other is feeling something,
having once existed, its effect is not to be done away with.” - George Eliot</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Once again, before we get
started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status.
While I’ve always said the blog is open to both men and women, one of our commenters
suggested I expressly invite our female readers to join the discussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please consider the invitation
enthusiastically extended.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you all had a great
holiday season. If responses to my New Years post was any indication, most of
you were occupied with better things. That post usually draws a lukewarm response,
at best, but this year may represent a new low.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In any event . . . onward
into 2024.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Well, one last thing
regarding aspirations for the new year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After the New Years post, I saw this, which of the captions and artwork in
my “New Years resolutions” collection, probably best represents my views about
what the new year should hold for our domestic discipline arrangement. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX2pv5sp4xrZM8yB_Hn_0Y16u5dRg5_DIG1-k18JCn7DzxSzcUUgtPSnUV_InDfbbS4lii9UbvFDx0DR_3GFrGllDwGVGBxKc4uuyDf7et0ev9PPDcHPimbaGc3yRiEjkEcc1Kb4u5Usv4XVaQYfZbvNOAjQ_Gn8HclVVA7QI2rtLiAHPTHNdLao4CMB5d/s1116/tumblr_cea82c6f83a29be580302251ac3e2236_8e9fb776_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1116" height="550" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX2pv5sp4xrZM8yB_Hn_0Y16u5dRg5_DIG1-k18JCn7DzxSzcUUgtPSnUV_InDfbbS4lii9UbvFDx0DR_3GFrGllDwGVGBxKc4uuyDf7et0ev9PPDcHPimbaGc3yRiEjkEcc1Kb4u5Usv4XVaQYfZbvNOAjQ_Gn8HclVVA7QI2rtLiAHPTHNdLao4CMB5d/w640-h550/tumblr_cea82c6f83a29be580302251ac3e2236_8e9fb776_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">No big
new rules. Rather, a stricter application of the existing rules coupled with
less tolerance for my efforts to get out of what I have richly earned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also liked the reference to how having
rules makes me feel like my life is more under conrol . . . even if it is really
all about someone <i>else’s </i>control. <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Now, let’s get right to the
first topic of 2024.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I find myself not
much more inspired than I was at the end of 2023, so I must again rely on one
of your suggestions, specifically this one from GH:<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“I also have a suggestion
for a possible future topic arising from last week’s discussion. There was some
discussion of the possibility of house guests spotting spanking implements like
large hairbrushes with no hair in the bristles and possibly drawing conclusions.
Spanked Cowboy said that in his case the person would not have to draw
conclusions because his wife keeps an actual spanking paddle hanging on the
wall, and a smaller one in her purse, and there would be no doubt about their
purpose. I wanted to ask Spanked Cowboy whether that open display of a spanking
paddle means that their family and friends all know his wife spanks him, but I
was late getting to it. That suggested to me a possible “what if” topic for
everyone. What if guests, whether family or friends, came to your house and
spotted a spanking paddle, either displayed on purpose or left out
accidentally. What conclusions do you suppose they would draw based on their
familiarity with you and your wife? Would they conclude it was just a kinky
toy, or would they surmise it was for serious DD? Also, if they guessed that it
was for real DD, would they know whether you or your wife was the one who gets
spanked, based on public aspects of your relationship? Just an idea.”</span></i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-eQJ4BqJyR-HKCzJJ-hcmyAxE8dTlUN6xeeKeAh_bc9T2zgRTl4TfssadeGqNUSYDZak9_BXYqPirqNPetQhBrFwNW-2Lng6JrkwMdlIDQDXaEgUTqMa_vmh_W9sdDPyXOVM8bV23Z7oAukXJn2C9Ugcs87ooEuxm3ifxk2yQt06qd8hjyZ5OzBVmxLRM/s1280/tumblr_2ce79bf58eefd71b5adf4663d1a7b7fb_a8bed01f_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-eQJ4BqJyR-HKCzJJ-hcmyAxE8dTlUN6xeeKeAh_bc9T2zgRTl4TfssadeGqNUSYDZak9_BXYqPirqNPetQhBrFwNW-2Lng6JrkwMdlIDQDXaEgUTqMa_vmh_W9sdDPyXOVM8bV23Z7oAukXJn2C9Ugcs87ooEuxm3ifxk2yQt06qd8hjyZ5OzBVmxLRM/w640-h480/tumblr_2ce79bf58eefd71b5adf4663d1a7b7fb_a8bed01f_1280.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Alan and Spanked Cowboy were
the only ones who gave substantive responses, and others may not have seen them
over the holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">SC: I too am late
responding to you. Some of our friends know of our lifestyle and have accepted
it, others do not know. None of my family knows for sure, but I think one
brother has an idea. All her family knows, some have witnessed and her late
sister-in-law actually spanked me herself. We do not broadcast our FLR but if
anyone, family or friends, should 'discover' it, I do my best to explain the
benefits of an FLR and DD living. I am a spanked male submissive and not
ashamed of it.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">HAPPY NEW YEAR to all.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Alan: “GH wrote:
"Also, if they guessed that it was for real DD, would they know whether
you or your wife was the one who gets spanked"</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Almost certainly they
would guess it was her, despite the fact that she is very assertive, confident
and has a very successful career managing large numbers of people.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">And that they would,
points to the huge reality gap between what women actually do or can do --and
what our patriarchy obsessed culture expects. This cultural " fairy
tale" probably also contributes to the relatively low percentage of males
who actually seek female led DD, as opposed to the apparently enormous numbers
who fantasize about female led DD.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Here are my own answers.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Would they conclude it
was just a kinky toy, or would they surmise it was for serious DD?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Although there is no way to
know, my best guess is they would assume it was a kinky toy, not because of
anything they know about our particular relationship but, rather, simply
because I’m not sure how many people out there even realize that “serious DD”
is a thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until I stumbled on the
Disciplinary Wives Club, I’d never heard of “real” adult corporal punishment,
and I doubt that many others are aware of it today. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In fact, when I was growing up, I'm sure if someone saw a paddle left out or hanging on a wall, no one would have assumed it was used <i>on </i>either parent but, rather, by them on misbehaving juvenile bottoms.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><br />
<i>“If they guessed that it was for real DD, would they know whether you or
your wife was the one who gets spanked, based on public aspects of your
relationship?”</i></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This one depends <i>a lot </i>on
the identity of the guest. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suspect
that many of our friends might have a hard time envisioning me on the receiving
end, because the same brashness that gets me into trouble with Anne probably
would lead them to assume that if there were a dominant partner in the
relationship<i> </i>it would be me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
not as sure as Alan is about whether patriarchal societal views would come into
play to such an extent that guests who didn’t know our personalities that well
would simply assume the husband was the spanker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they did, it might simply be because so
many of the spanking scenarios depicted in popular culture and porn are, in
fact, Male/female.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdMj6AEv1j5LoL0FXp_kMqHefwIw6ituHIScGMLZQe-v3jPDEDeRvUkJjRKrx8u_0PJQB-YFt908f9n3AEzTNDwGN_o2Q-4OwDf4aYQ8A3NNKlqNg0ErATyeesYIVW_GZi2dCiwYbhR2FnPsWUXL9wLN4tk9QfiYJBKeJkyuqb7ZJPKmxmq5lW3orAUDb-/s1920/tumblr_173f2e32398e8495e3a7698803af6782_c883cfb4_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1059" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdMj6AEv1j5LoL0FXp_kMqHefwIw6ituHIScGMLZQe-v3jPDEDeRvUkJjRKrx8u_0PJQB-YFt908f9n3AEzTNDwGN_o2Q-4OwDf4aYQ8A3NNKlqNg0ErATyeesYIVW_GZi2dCiwYbhR2FnPsWUXL9wLN4tk9QfiYJBKeJkyuqb7ZJPKmxmq5lW3orAUDb-/w354-h640/tumblr_173f2e32398e8495e3a7698803af6782_c883cfb4_1280.jpeg" width="354" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">With close family members,
particularly our adult kids, it’s much more likely they might see Anne as the
disciplinarian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our kids have, on at
least one occasion, expressed some curiosity about the fact that she seems to make
more of the decisions. I was working at the time, and she told them that I
carried so much responsibility at work that I didn’t like having to make a lot
of decisions at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, they clearly
have noticed that, from time to time, our relationship seems to be a little
untraditionally tilted in her favor.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">GH’s topic suggestion was
well-timed, as a more subtle version of his scenario did, in fact, play out for
us over the holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve talked before
about how, beginning a year or two ago, Anne started leaving her bath brush and
heavy ebony hairbrush out on the counter in our master bath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s always been unlikely that social guests
might see them but not entirely likely that one of our adult kids might go into
that bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Well, sure enough, while they
were visiting us over the holidays I went into the master bedroom and found
Anne and one of the kids chatting in the master bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ordinarily, the counter can be more than
little cluttered with daily use, but Anne had tidied it and the rest of the
house up in preparation for the kids visit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, the two brushes where literally the only things on the counter,
other than box of tissues. They were truly on “display” in every sense of the
word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Were they noticed?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quite possibly, but I suspect that when it
comes to brushes, as opposed to GH’s scenario involving an actual paddle, we spankos
and DD practitioners see things others likely do not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Were they noticed?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quite possibly, but I suspect that when it
comes to brushes, as opposed to GH’s scenario involving an actual paddle, we spankos
and DD practitioners see things others likely do not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Speaking of which, back during the pandemic,
I took this screenshot of an interview on CNN.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtOh_3so80tFBV3fwTg5_hJmGgzx9_VXLbkHYjcw-0jhjBx2m9BV6B5AMGqEVSe7onqL9_zJy-c5qiC8TVbiFpiuVvPHmG8J8v83Z4DtCJA9ADJ8eb_db_dna8OOICrbmllr3jVhnlk4rUew-15OoWxya4jx5NrcaOVqOHB64vyHgHomX5YRDiWbHqzD7s/s2048/EU21wETXYAIqFTr.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="2048" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtOh_3so80tFBV3fwTg5_hJmGgzx9_VXLbkHYjcw-0jhjBx2m9BV6B5AMGqEVSe7onqL9_zJy-c5qiC8TVbiFpiuVvPHmG8J8v83Z4DtCJA9ADJ8eb_db_dna8OOICrbmllr3jVhnlk4rUew-15OoWxya4jx5NrcaOVqOHB64vyHgHomX5YRDiWbHqzD7s/w640-h360/EU21wETXYAIqFTr.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Note what’s hanging to the left of the bookcase in the background?
Fraternity paddle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe, though I don’t
see any Greek letters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately,
when I zoom in, I still can’t read the stenciling. The fact that I noticed it at all probably says a lot about my own sensitization to all things even potentially spanking-related.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><style>@font-face
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you all had a great
2024 kick-off week. Best wishes for the rest of the year.</span></p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com56tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-38700978265465498002024-01-01T08:03:00.000-08:002024-01-01T08:07:31.733-08:00The Club - Meeting 460 - Happy New Year 2024<p><b><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Be at war with your
vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better
man.” - Benjamin Franklin</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the first meeting of the
Disciplinary Couples Club for 2022.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">As long-term readers know, my
New Years posts tend to be both reflective and verbose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, hopefully those who have been here a
while and who come for the camaraderie will bear with me. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Those who are just here for
the spanking porn may want to come back some other time.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">First off, a hearty "thank you" to all those who participated here in 2023 for the first time. Given the inevitable attrition as "real life" interferes with our best intentions, new members are the lifeblood of this little club. And, thanks to all our regulars who have stuck with us for many years now. I truly never get tired of talking to you guys. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Finally, thank you in advance to all the Disciplinary Wives who did <i>not </i>join the conversation in 2023 but <i>will </i>in 2024. 😀 <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiASCQv2ID8O9nxMeFo8_VVwLHRuDgRWUdPr3h2-x36vrNhl866FpH6HkjeCBbf7sfkD5Sf3PljSUbwUUAZ6UXjw1xeimKO9ymMBqfuD-WMHw2VftlMPlr5qW1K8X6Ngo8d_d9t8rV_583thK_i8YHUF0100BMiTLkOmmnpbVg1CJsEnyptRehMlgFO-iC/s420/1293731028171_1317151.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="294" data-original-width="420" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiASCQv2ID8O9nxMeFo8_VVwLHRuDgRWUdPr3h2-x36vrNhl866FpH6HkjeCBbf7sfkD5Sf3PljSUbwUUAZ6UXjw1xeimKO9ymMBqfuD-WMHw2VftlMPlr5qW1K8X6Ngo8d_d9t8rV_583thK_i8YHUF0100BMiTLkOmmnpbVg1CJsEnyptRehMlgFO-iC/w400-h280/1293731028171_1317151.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I usually start off with a
summary of how the last year went for me and for us as a couple, but in
preparing for this post I reviewed the one from last year, and it left me
thinking I should comment on subjectivity and the vagaries of selective memory.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">See, for most of 2013, I’ve
been kicking myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt like in the
first year and a half of retirement I made quite a bit of progress in getting
my health back, regaining some life balance, taking up some new hobbies and
productive activities, and meeting, or at least making progress on, some
long-term goals. Then, in 2013, I totally stagnated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I backslid on drinking, on exercise and
health, on exploring new hobbies, on cultivating better and deeper
relationships with friends and family I had neglected while working. I had been doing really well up until the holidays in 2022, then all
my self-discipline melted away.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">At least, that's how I remember it. <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Then, today, I read my New
Years post from last year, which included this summary of my goals and how well
I did at hitting them in 2022:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“I
am kind of annoyed with myself that I let 2022 drift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Here are the goals I posted for last year:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br /></span></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Solidify the progress I made last year on reducing the
number of excessive drinking incidents. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Renew and energize some friendships that I let drift
away over the last few years when I was too focused on career.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Volunteer on some effort that has a real and
substantial impact on the lives of vulnerable or powerless people. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Take at least three long road trips with Anne and the
dogs. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Complete drafts of two books I’ve wanted to write for
some time but never seem to get around to. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Multiple multi-state motorcycle trips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Take up some sport or demanding fitness activity that
doesn’t take place in a gym. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Reverse the recent losses in our investment portfolio.
</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><i>Of
those 8 items, I fully completed only one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A couple of others I sort of partially fulfilled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Overall, it was a pretty uninspiring
performance.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><i> </i> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">My self-assessment of my 2022
performance was so dismal, I decided to keep all the same goals for 2023 and just work
toward fulfilling those.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Truth be told, it’s damn depressing the extent to which <i>most </i>of my goals carry
over year-to-year, partially or wholly unfulfilled.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Within a month, I had more
or less forgotten about the specific goals and did literally nothing to track my
actual 2023 performance against them.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Yet, looking at that list from the perspective of the first day of 2024, I seem to have <i>accidentally</i> done better in 2023 than I did <i>intentionally
</i>in 2022!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It wasn't all great. Objectively, </span>I did backslide
on some of the previous year’s improvement on excessive drinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those books still aren’t drafted, and I
stopped writing altogether in another medium I had been experimenting with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Taking up a demanding sport didn’t happen,
though that one proved to be a little more outside my control than I anticipated,
as it has become clear that three rounds of Covid have left me with some
ongoing lung capacity issues.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">On the other hand, I did put
more energy into some existing friendships. Better yet, despite reading article after
article about how middle-aged men struggle to make and hold onto friends, I
actually made a brand new one - someone to hang out with over beers and talk about life, which
I haven’t really had since leaving my last job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I didn’t exactly volunteer to help the unfortunate, but I did become
unexpectedly very active on a local political/quality of life issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took several long-ish road trips with Anne
and the dogs and we did a couple of international vacations. I didn’t do more
multi-state motorcycle trips in 2023 than 2022, but I did do some advanced
training and a multi-day group trip, which also led to, if not new friendships, a couple of new good acquaintances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By year-end, a very large bit
of our investment losses from 2021 and 2022 had reversed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, I had my annual physical a couple of
months ago and, while my perception had been that my diet and exercise dedication had sucked
all year, objectively I seem to be in better shape on big things like
cholesterol and blood sugar than I was a year ago.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Oh, don’t get me wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was FAR from a perfect year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, in my mind there had developed this rosy view of 2022 that was inconstdent with how I felt at the time, and the same
for 2023 but in reverse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Yet, I do feel that even if I
did some things in 2023, there <i>was </i>an accidental quality to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, the areas in which I made progress aren’t
necessarily those that I associate with having a life that isn’t just busy, or
even interesting, but <i>meaningful</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It may be the case that after 30+ of working my ass off in a career, even
a couple of years of decompression and recovery were needed. But, in year three
it started to feel more like stagnation than relaxation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve always been a fairly ambitious guy, and
it turns out even in retirement I want a life that is, well . . . bigger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UZm7NIrmk5s" width="320" youtube-src-id="UZm7NIrmk5s"></iframe></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I can
actually tie some of this "big picture" goal to domestic discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where I feel 2023 went off the guardrails a
bit was, in fact, guardrails.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of
the backsliding on things like excessive drinking might not have happened
without some concurrent backsliding on Anne’s part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve come to believe that when I’m allowed to
backslide in one area, it often spills over into <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>generalized sloppiness and a lowering of
standards.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Then there was
procrastination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am as guilty as any of you of procrastinating on things big and small, but in the past I comforted myself with the rationalization that while I might be <i>as bad</i> as others, I probably wasn’t much <i>worse</i> either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After 2023, I’m not sure the distinction matters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Some of the things that I’ve had on my list for
a long time—like getting more involved in public policy/politics and helping
others—are things I am really going to regret on my dead bed if they go
undone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, it’s become increasingly
clear to me that my failure is more than procrastination. Without career-oriented goals driving me forward, procrastination has crossed the line into stagnation. I’ve settled into spending whole days, then weeks, then months, accomplishing little more than reading books, watching
Netflix, and writing this blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, again, I don’t want to <i>settle</i>.
</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Newton’s first law is that an
object at rest will stay at rest.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklGh4RtkK9eWenwqYMdkUlCuxk_tZl9qPGfhS9PhONs7nNU-RPzzYpqabAw9swqb6cZTB_FYT8GUJP4cIAYT7_Qbrg-fvoGDUs9z1BPRMyQbSBtGcPJhLelKHaJDXG5ojvMewkh50cl4UuLGQUzmJCiEQ7nYzNgUzGqoV6J-7uu-3eJZ5lg3Oyk3wL-N_/s420/i-am-the-definition-of-inertia-an-object-at-rest-stays-at-rest-9a3ff.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="294" data-original-width="420" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklGh4RtkK9eWenwqYMdkUlCuxk_tZl9qPGfhS9PhONs7nNU-RPzzYpqabAw9swqb6cZTB_FYT8GUJP4cIAYT7_Qbrg-fvoGDUs9z1BPRMyQbSBtGcPJhLelKHaJDXG5ojvMewkh50cl4UuLGQUzmJCiEQ7nYzNgUzGqoV6J-7uu-3eJZ5lg3Oyk3wL-N_/w400-h280/i-am-the-definition-of-inertia-an-object-at-rest-stays-at-rest-9a3ff.png" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">UNLESS acted upon by an external
force.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I’m hoping in 2024, Anne will
<i>be</i> that external force.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why would
that work in 2024 when it didn’t in 2023? Or 2022? Or 2021?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Well, first, it took several months
of slacking in 2023 before I came to feel like it really was time to stop “recovering”
and start “growing” again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I simply feel more motivated in 2024 to get off my ass and DO something significant than I did in 2023.<br /></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Second, while we’ve talked
about it on this blog a few times, the fact is I’ve never really <i>asked </i>Anne
to fill a motivational, coaching-like role. When we were both working, it
seemed too burdensome, particularly since consistency was already a big problem
where DD was concerned. <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">When I talked <a href="https://disciplinedhubbies.blogspot.com/2023/08/the-club-meeting-450-dds-role-in.html">here</a> back in August
of 2023 about using DD to meet personal performance goals, I didn’t follow up with actually suggesting to Anne that we try such a thing because, again, I didn't think she'd be interested and probably would see it as burdensome. Yet, <i>she</i> brought it up
a few weeks later, during some DD-related pillow talk. It was a passing
reference, and neither of us followed up at the time. However, it is pretty
rare for her to proactively bring up subjects from the blog, so the fact that she brought that one up seemed to be a signal.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFYmna1IerUzRtvdbF_c6gPYr6u2qh2NquwezDTzcjmYuGUmzc3JBlsPH2LnWDbTuYSOJLjaOTdAF1sn9oeY8iQtfwHBrP34TVLqGew5dkWONcS62IOsBz9ybmVaLlCMVmJ14zwIuNF4vwpulPGvnbHVOqbtpalxYJTl_5o5Roy7zry1HrBMIPehOMZuXo/s754/tumblr_d88e398d634069555ed02ed4ffcf39c9_9139e459_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="754" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFYmna1IerUzRtvdbF_c6gPYr6u2qh2NquwezDTzcjmYuGUmzc3JBlsPH2LnWDbTuYSOJLjaOTdAF1sn9oeY8iQtfwHBrP34TVLqGew5dkWONcS62IOsBz9ybmVaLlCMVmJ14zwIuNF4vwpulPGvnbHVOqbtpalxYJTl_5o5Roy7zry1HrBMIPehOMZuXo/w400-h398/tumblr_d88e398d634069555ed02ed4ffcf39c9_9139e459_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Honestly, I got the sense a
few times in 2023 that she was kind of disappointed that there weren’t more
times that I presented her with a clear and compelling reason to spank me. Back
when she was working, I think that finding time for discipline often was at
least somewhat burdensome. In 2023, however, after her own retirement, when we
got into periods in which DD became somewhat regular, it seemed like there were
times she wanted it to be even more frequent.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Now, one obvious solution
would be for her to move unilaterally in the direction KOJ’s wife did after retirement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has described how she almost instantly ramped
up her assertiveness and, for the next decade, continuously moved the goalposts
by making more and more issues “punishable.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Anne didn’t go through such a
big, self-initiated change in approach after retirement. But, she has talked
about how being retired has removed some of the mental restraints she felt
about being openly dominant and the possibility of others knowing about the
nature of our relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For whatever
reason, the process for her has been slower and less dramatic, yet there were
clear signs of it throughout last year.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Including her positive reference
to a blog post about taking on more of a “coaching” role. Maybe we've both just finally hit a point where I recognize I <i>need </i>that internal push to overcome some multi-year inertia, where she <i>likes </i>doling out discipline and being in charge, and we both are open to that approach and have time to do it.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo2lIRXgKXLJROUT-hGmtMea0BX6TOYvU_ta6wnbypIErI6som89pYF_7-yYw9YZZ5wwrAF89O6Wq097MWqDw_SJeflrfd8o70KGLxofAylwX-Yvylo6osCZUIIttHssPXJRNUkyq9NBQK50vLczHDxyCdFy1b3fqXbpcbJApfOP-6V_nvq11lIMLAotdT/s363/tumblr_c62c02c50e4fab25e3bba7f7c9ab9fd5_1c5688d8_400.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="363" data-original-width="273" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo2lIRXgKXLJROUT-hGmtMea0BX6TOYvU_ta6wnbypIErI6som89pYF_7-yYw9YZZ5wwrAF89O6Wq097MWqDw_SJeflrfd8o70KGLxofAylwX-Yvylo6osCZUIIttHssPXJRNUkyq9NBQK50vLczHDxyCdFy1b3fqXbpcbJApfOP-6V_nvq11lIMLAotdT/w482-h640/tumblr_c62c02c50e4fab25e3bba7f7c9ab9fd5_1c5688d8_400.jpeg" width="482" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I don’t want to make this
post too long, but over the last few weeks I’ve gone through a deliberate,
systematic effort to identify the “big ticket” aspirations that I’ve harbored
for years and years but never really gone for in a big way, whether because of work
busyness, the distractions of day-to-day family and work life, or simply
laziness and lack of sufficient ambition. I’m zoning in on three or four areas
I really want to see more progress in this year, along with some actionable
tasks to get that stone-like “object at rest” moving. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I think bringing DD into this will fail
if I try to make it “too much.” Even weekly is probably too much in terms of reporting/checking in. But, maybe a
monthly session where I have to show some actual progress on each of the
concrete tasks I set out, with failure leading to however many spankings she
feels are appropriate?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Anyway, I’m still tinkering
with the precise proposal, and if she doesn’t seem truly motivated to pursue
it, I will drop it entirely and go back to a more traditional set of
resolutions and hope for the best. But, I do think that given my track record of settling back into a comfortable state of inertia, things are going to be different in 2024 only if there is a step-change in the consistency of discipline in the relationship. I've posted many of these New Years memes over the years, but this one probably sums it up best:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3lHqOoJQi6OH3pmZwEt_NWqQRJlzjb4jt22CbLRxyj0XqkEhPR_MSPUJUPZFXA0qjXo4f83Hskdxp3pdnUVpNphSYCBTXZXNXjiBLUfD9BnfBtAilutU-R0UVEDUkTDl1HzelDb7o6g1I9_DhDKo-BhZ0iL6YPJI391hRD3WC8K1Rmb6eZ4H5WSI7G2mX/s615/tumblr_bcae67596bb403a5325cac1dceba65f9_ab776a5b_540.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="615" data-original-width="540" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3lHqOoJQi6OH3pmZwEt_NWqQRJlzjb4jt22CbLRxyj0XqkEhPR_MSPUJUPZFXA0qjXo4f83Hskdxp3pdnUVpNphSYCBTXZXNXjiBLUfD9BnfBtAilutU-R0UVEDUkTDl1HzelDb7o6g1I9_DhDKo-BhZ0iL6YPJI391hRD3WC8K1Rmb6eZ4H5WSI7G2mX/w562-h640/tumblr_bcae67596bb403a5325cac1dceba65f9_ab776a5b_540.png" width="562" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I do fee like one area in which 2023 improved a lot over 2022 was Anne stepping up to some serious scoldings that reflected things <i>she </i>saw as important, whether I agreed or not. But, I think we both recognize that there wasn't always follow-through on things that weren't huge fails but have been chronic annoyances. Anne and I have talked several times about how much better it would be if there was a really solid, dependable connection in her mind between, "He's really annoying me" and "He just earned a spanking and I'm going to give it to him right now."<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsp7kY1ZliyE53Pp7SKT1YDO2VP3j8MUYv2F-HgDaVI7ObWnlbZP9s1RSfDDtPKnUhrgbnAGw_pmcUzwPxiT7paS6cGDlQysT2AYhTvafHdIKFSxDNmMd-SRJgBj02uiDMIWELd9HojFt4aYeKi8tBlRq4QGzODnp4vN_oVSysSlI62jKptwbx8jHZmF2a/s639/tumblr_01ba8d3c0c1351741f34f0fabc00b569_8baa65ee_540.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="639" data-original-width="404" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsp7kY1ZliyE53Pp7SKT1YDO2VP3j8MUYv2F-HgDaVI7ObWnlbZP9s1RSfDDtPKnUhrgbnAGw_pmcUzwPxiT7paS6cGDlQysT2AYhTvafHdIKFSxDNmMd-SRJgBj02uiDMIWELd9HojFt4aYeKi8tBlRq4QGzODnp4vN_oVSysSlI62jKptwbx8jHZmF2a/w404-h640/tumblr_01ba8d3c0c1351741f34f0fabc00b569_8baa65ee_540.png" width="404" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The thing about our DD in 2023 that was challenging, for me, and that made the whole thing more "real" than in past years was that, as I said, she seemed increasingly willing to exert control over things that <i>she </i>saw as problems. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Getting scolded and/or spanked when I didn't really agree with the premise was a major ego blow, but that is precisely why those incidents felt like the biggest stimuli for personal growth, for both of us. Again, the only thing lacking as consistency.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">ds<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTGeG4uSF4HhvHw6I9Vu108rQw4WQIBWhuunnnnnbq2R8e02m1XerUt7qXHQ47xgFfcCPzp0CFJJFor3C8p6ZTJwk3zk85h64vRyK2j7IM-W_WM2oKVwXaD8sPYarRpZx3UrvPpBtviNYungLqIGI2lTXn8ljNtG5w12A0k4KSD6rzoBz_Yyoa0ZNje7ds/s1104/tumblr_350e083a9e78407d19b0619467de5bbc_d35a2b10_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1104" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTGeG4uSF4HhvHw6I9Vu108rQw4WQIBWhuunnnnnbq2R8e02m1XerUt7qXHQ47xgFfcCPzp0CFJJFor3C8p6ZTJwk3zk85h64vRyK2j7IM-W_WM2oKVwXaD8sPYarRpZx3UrvPpBtviNYungLqIGI2lTXn8ljNtG5w12A0k4KSD6rzoBz_Yyoa0ZNje7ds/w391-h400/tumblr_350e083a9e78407d19b0619467de5bbc_d35a2b10_1280.jpg" width="391" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;">How about you? How did 2023
turn out? Were there any interesting developments on the DD front that you’d
like to share?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are there any particular
goals or things you’d like to accomplish—DD or otherwise—in 2024?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you intend to share those with your wife?</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">For the ladies (one of my 2024
resolutions IS to get some of them commenting again), do you have anything in
particular <i>you </i>want your husband to improve on in 2024? Any specific
goals you expect him to hit?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are
your thoughts on providing him some DD or FLR-oriented motivation to do that?</span></p>
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{margin-bottom:0in;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-38533546009123659832023-12-24T07:09:00.000-08:002023-12-24T07:09:10.372-08:00Merry Christmas 2023<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqJdojhVEbjEchyphenhyphen8yNpNm34-rA3ENKukyIHVMWwQVpOtw5_sjTFT2FaeWvUvtgy7BMbKUdpSPabNT7OHp4vjDsNvfKWcQiMqO2vFMYp21Ximx43uoJx1Ststdofb89TNCLUxLivxLU4Xl0lVtsGq5BzfovpajaVoTictY9Ge8CU4ggDYfq5PRn28vlZYO/s892/tumblr_pk4h5e1pyG1rj0h8b_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="892" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqJdojhVEbjEchyphenhyphen8yNpNm34-rA3ENKukyIHVMWwQVpOtw5_sjTFT2FaeWvUvtgy7BMbKUdpSPabNT7OHp4vjDsNvfKWcQiMqO2vFMYp21Ximx43uoJx1Ststdofb89TNCLUxLivxLU4Xl0lVtsGq5BzfovpajaVoTictY9Ge8CU4ggDYfq5PRn28vlZYO/w516-h640/tumblr_pk4h5e1pyG1rj0h8b_1280.jpeg" width="516" /></a></div><p></p><p>I've said that I'm usually very into Christmas but this year I've had a hard time getting into it. But, our family began getting together last night, and this morning I woke up to gently falling snow. It's putting me in the mood.</p><p>I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and a happy new year.</p><p>See you all in 2024.<br /></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-3765358070795887802023-12-15T20:24:00.000-08:002023-12-15T20:24:58.854-08:00The Club - Meeting 459 - Moving Goalposts, Severity, and Getting What You Really Don't Want<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Have no fear of
perfection - you'll never reach it.” - Salvador Dali</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Once again, before we get started,
I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers, if
they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. While I’ve
always said the blog is open to both men and women, one of our commenters
suggested I expressly invite our female readers to join the discussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please consider the invitation
enthusiastically extended. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBA7V5_aZO8ViNXiTzpy2bbuFzmTdb951DuB2SSvKILJAdQT-11kjKqRekmHoG0INW6HtArcs5Qog9PWNiWIqOxD4TLs6VVS8oj8oJf26OlvS1ykqVjgX1G8zELXYBySAI8PC1gER_TxHTc3VmO59ZQk9QehFO-NuKbeEFgKv8RujeAJW4vgddDfJzRo7e/s320/00000000000001.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="320" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBA7V5_aZO8ViNXiTzpy2bbuFzmTdb951DuB2SSvKILJAdQT-11kjKqRekmHoG0INW6HtArcs5Qog9PWNiWIqOxD4TLs6VVS8oj8oJf26OlvS1ykqVjgX1G8zELXYBySAI8PC1gER_TxHTc3VmO59ZQk9QehFO-NuKbeEFgKv8RujeAJW4vgddDfJzRo7e/w400-h400/00000000000001.png" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you all had a good
week and are making it through, and maybe even enjoying, all that holiday socializing and shopping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, it was a week in which I
felt a little of my mojo return, mojo being in this case a euphemism for both
erotic energy and interest in all things Domestic Discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that we engaged in any actual disciplinary
or FLR-related activities, but at least it was on my mind again.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Some of it probably is just
part of the recovery process post-illness. But, it’s also not lost on me that
my interest level in DD jumped by virtue of writing about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a good reason to try to exercise some
discipline around posting regularly, even when I really don’t feel like it.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">One area where my interest
level is still at a surprisingly low ebb is the whole Christmas season. This is
usually my favorite time of year, hands down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This year, for some reason I just don’t have a lot of enthusiasm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve talked to others who are feeling the
same way. It’s not really about being down on the season but, rather, feeling
the need for something . . . smaller.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Less hectic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Less complicated.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Of course, I’m enough of an
introvert that I must ask myself whether by smaller and less hectic, I really
just mean I don’t want to be around people! Thankfully, now that we are both
retired, there is so little on our holiday social calendar, it’s not like I
really need a break from the party scene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One bright spot, I guess, is that maybe there will be no need for preventative
butt blisterings to keep me in line.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqRyLOXwk-0s5JPyo2kAnzcDjLhBtUEn7kj3OVWF_YuNW4GWh8RfXMmk2RuIqEjyl6cm5qiS2kfIUZuHK-d2-f7cNA7-V3s-YoLh-rZrXX7sIpbtzF7FRH8KetRXtco89qH75gK8MenUvNCh0yHc3nssUw_RigPW0v7-ibcT_4sgH9D7oFt4ZJsctSusQq/s700/tumblr_e83992fede0476250174ce43d190c9c6_3ad68113_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="672" data-original-width="700" height="384" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqRyLOXwk-0s5JPyo2kAnzcDjLhBtUEn7kj3OVWF_YuNW4GWh8RfXMmk2RuIqEjyl6cm5qiS2kfIUZuHK-d2-f7cNA7-V3s-YoLh-rZrXX7sIpbtzF7FRH8KetRXtco89qH75gK8MenUvNCh0yHc3nssUw_RigPW0v7-ibcT_4sgH9D7oFt4ZJsctSusQq/w400-h384/tumblr_e83992fede0476250174ce43d190c9c6_3ad68113_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">While my disciplinary mojo
is, indeed, edging back up, I can’t say I’ve had any sudden flashes of
inspiration for novel topics. So, instead, I thought we could riff a little more
on some of last week’s comments.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Let’s kick it off with this
from KOJ:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Here's a paradox in the
first years of our DD (until I was well-trained): the better I responded to my
wife's spankings, the more spankings I got!</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Why? Two reasons: One, she
saw that they worked to improve my attitude and subdue my male ego, but I still
had a long way to go in her eyes. And two, she saw that spankings worked so she
kept adding issues covered by DD. First it was all about respecting her. Then
she added treating the kids better. Then she added respecting others. Then she
added punctuality. Then she added my drinking. Then she added picking up after
myself. Then she added actual chores. Then she added procrastination. On and on
-- a seeming receding horizon of new issues that guaranteed me an almost
constant sore backside for a decade. And she was right about every single issue.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMD8X6ih8GrxUKeZiqW1frowg_6CDSnLOtpDFqlBa4x1vg9ZPzvc6q11TvRH3AgaqWF1I1Hzu0cl2bRHy3JYYta1fi-8sZ3caZN_-JZ5Zw97mL00QHV1ifSaWGJ_IbsW4hTKA3JQOsgW5UeS8NkouUssQ8xio20CVseoBWGpy1_yGy4eJCt4pyJI2UIVUj/s750/tumblr_2173ad7ed66a5012871479f8412a1beb_ebffbd13_500.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="499" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMD8X6ih8GrxUKeZiqW1frowg_6CDSnLOtpDFqlBa4x1vg9ZPzvc6q11TvRH3AgaqWF1I1Hzu0cl2bRHy3JYYta1fi-8sZ3caZN_-JZ5Zw97mL00QHV1ifSaWGJ_IbsW4hTKA3JQOsgW5UeS8NkouUssQ8xio20CVseoBWGpy1_yGy4eJCt4pyJI2UIVUj/w426-h640/tumblr_2173ad7ed66a5012871479f8412a1beb_ebffbd13_500.jpeg" width="426" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br />For those of you who have
been in this kind of relationship for a while, has it worked that way for you,
too? When you think you’ve improved to the point that discipline might not be
necessary at all, does she move the goalposts?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Or, is it the case that regardless of whether you improve in certain areas,
new problematic behaviors tend to arise?</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">For us, it’s kind of a
combination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My proclivity for overdoing
it when socializing hasn’t changed much over the years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, this year was the first in which she focused
increasing attention on “respect for others,” in the context of that
socializing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Probably the second worst
spanking, and definitely the worst lecture, of the year resulted from what she
saw as overbearing behavior at a dinner with another couple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also spanked me for an argument we got
into, but it wasn’t so much the argument itself but the fact that she felt I
had let something irritate me for a long time and then exploded, which was
unfair to her because had I been more open about the situation sooner, she
could have dealt with it without all the drama.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Those developments may have been somewhat similar to the process KOJ
described.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, then there were the
repeated spankings and threats of spankings for leaving the garage door open and
failing to lock the front door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those
were new-ish instances of carelessness on my part, and not really her paying new
attention to an existing problem.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Then, there was this series
of exchanges between K., GH and me:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">K: The first time she did
it [gave a post-orgasm punishment spanking] the anticipation was exciting, but
that was only because I had no real idea what I was in for. Any physical
pleasure is over very quickly. She has me use her vibrator, which gets the job
done in no time. I've usually lost most of any erection I had by the time my
pants are down, but the vibrator still gets through. What follows is pure
punishment, with no sexual edge at all. There's no sexual element to counter
the pain or energize me through it. Usually she uses a rubber strap that hurts
like hell even with a warm up (and I definitely get no warm up if I'm being
punished). There is absolutely nothing you would confuse with fun or sexiness
about the whole ordeal. After considerable time passes, I can look back on it
and feel warm and grateful, because I LOVE being in a relationship where my
wife has that authority and isn't afraid to use it. But her punishments are
something I've learned to fear and avoid, not be aroused by. So they work.</span></i></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-gnQ4NXSXzlohDFtTJiimWcjoMtoEZuVyaJlQc568qymj-HrRi5C7dByzNVY7nWQmmA2EeazKIJWVflu5l3R1C_rCtboW-GU4d_JNYtT_TR0gKWkFwWTWpWJYCOeQNiYiOrlhHFt0NhER_7tEyf03UZXTTQcXeqWGpqdV0MDvTA8Xa_m76vaLlmy4_QP/s666/tumblr_34d85fe1b4e0dbdffd970704e3f4da76_0de6ad4b_540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="540" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-gnQ4NXSXzlohDFtTJiimWcjoMtoEZuVyaJlQc568qymj-HrRi5C7dByzNVY7nWQmmA2EeazKIJWVflu5l3R1C_rCtboW-GU4d_JNYtT_TR0gKWkFwWTWpWJYCOeQNiYiOrlhHFt0NhER_7tEyf03UZXTTQcXeqWGpqdV0MDvTA8Xa_m76vaLlmy4_QP/w518-h640/tumblr_34d85fe1b4e0dbdffd970704e3f4da76_0de6ad4b_540.jpg" width="518" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Me:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I go back and forth on whether a true
punishment can still be "too much." I do feel like there is an
important mental element of accepting accountability. During a hard spanking, I
will sometimes remind myself that I put myself in this position and could avoid
such pain by behaving better in the future. But, I've found that with some
instruments--those rubber straps in particular--the pain was so extreme that
all such thoughts were driven from my brain as I simply tried to gut it out. On
the other hand, one could argue that a very painful punishment has a purpose
regardless of whether you "accept" it in the moment. In fact, maybe
it reinforces that if she is really in charge she can and should punish whether
you "accept" it or not. As I said, I go back and forth on it.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">K: Basically, our
disciplinary relationship is "she's my disciplinarian, even - maybe
especially - if I'm not into it at the time."</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYrT1QvcdeczmtnOlLq6N387yqI7pMmCYVhin_75DlybRZsT1Kgoc6KyeZ-uYP53q_ZQ0E9OxGTPkJXmhGYrIkXlq25hIUXWC9rOYoU3qushHWByeYUxyDKT_upWlTiRaLd9TMjJQ8iKLnORzTo0OKn1y2dh_zlW8wl-JLJZZQO8NSqdDDLaoSRhU5HKII/s900/tumblr_fdff9bdf473533fe6b94aad3b3b22712_7963aadb_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="900" height="334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYrT1QvcdeczmtnOlLq6N387yqI7pMmCYVhin_75DlybRZsT1Kgoc6KyeZ-uYP53q_ZQ0E9OxGTPkJXmhGYrIkXlq25hIUXWC9rOYoU3qushHWByeYUxyDKT_upWlTiRaLd9TMjJQ8iKLnORzTo0OKn1y2dh_zlW8wl-JLJZZQO8NSqdDDLaoSRhU5HKII/w400-h334/tumblr_fdff9bdf473533fe6b94aad3b3b22712_7963aadb_1280.jpeg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">That thread touches on areas
that I’ve thought about quite a bit this year, as Anne has gotten stricter in
some areas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The incident that triggered
those thoughts wasn’t directly about spanking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Rather, it had to do with one of those hard lectures I referred to
above.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That one, and another that came
within a few weeks of it, caused me to feel resentful for quite some time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started to get past that only after I
talked to Aunt Kay’s husband, and he said something to the effect of, “Well, a real,
tough scolding is hard to take. It just is.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The more I thought about it,
the more I started to understand at a deep level that the emotions I was
feeling were a demonstration that we had hit one of those milestones in which
the transfer of authority, the imposition of a distinct hierarchy with her at
the top, became more real.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The scolding
stung precisely because it was real and angry and took me down a peg or three.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">K.’s discussion was about the
severity of the spanking and not a scolding, but the principle is similar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know the authority and the discipline are
real when they happen regardless of whether you are “into it at the time” or
regardless of whether the severity is way more than you would choose if you had
any control over it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact that you <i>don’t
</i>have any control over it is what makes it more real.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">When I look back, I think many—probably
too many—of my conversations with Anne have included feedback about whether
something “worked for me” or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
year, I started thinking a lot more about the fact that it’s when it her
approach is <i>not </i>working for me, when I am feeling the most emotionally
upset or resistant, that it’s actually doing its best work.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWvOVUnH9SuafHazHsoudD2BfzTxE1fKBptsNpmvjCv9o89Ue9VgJzbTcfT3ymXNZUT7tpmc9BXFv8qjOja7h5kjsQkHUi99uYBwaSoORWhrrglg6vNfCEWZdcC-dG5ZlKjMW-2-cJsQVSTB-nLgDFrlgpGRofPw8PP9CM9LJr7yFy86iTt2LDxbicLwdj/s576/tumblr_140cff45b64a0c8a404a446fd29dc1ee_0e5e53b2_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWvOVUnH9SuafHazHsoudD2BfzTxE1fKBptsNpmvjCv9o89Ue9VgJzbTcfT3ymXNZUT7tpmc9BXFv8qjOja7h5kjsQkHUi99uYBwaSoORWhrrglg6vNfCEWZdcC-dG5ZlKjMW-2-cJsQVSTB-nLgDFrlgpGRofPw8PP9CM9LJr7yFy86iTt2LDxbicLwdj/w556-h640/tumblr_140cff45b64a0c8a404a446fd29dc1ee_0e5e53b2_500.jpg" width="556" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">That same point carries over
to seemingly more pedestrian, less philosophical issues like the choice of
implements and whether some are just “too” severe. I really do go back and
forth on that, as noted in my exchange with K.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I do feel like really absorbing (no pun intended) the lesson she is
trying to impart requires me to think about why the spanking is happening, how
I got myself into this, how I could avoid a similar one in the future,
etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With certain instruments, that
whole mental process of accepting responsibility and really meaning to do
better goes right out the window. The pain is just so sudden and so severe that
I go into a “man up” attitude that is all about <i>not </i>surrendering and,
instead, trying to get it out and get through it by any means necessary.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcnEMr0Tc-z1lBEiv_blU6kt0umaXgPu85NykeI_9GdBoj8zUZ57jJhrycK8mqBeRkm1LjAYqF_mpevk-0JWWtiG6GuFZNKCbbpwlgJLGWdNMRU1CqHJzuicoc6aCr-JzWETcvA8AvUMxTqOQA4rq2AV7z99xfEyD5tErg2NP916cqebtDvOUceoaJZ0Fn/s400/tumblr_4bae612e6f4efde3968e58de712a1ec2_1011c32b_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="329" data-original-width="400" height="329" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcnEMr0Tc-z1lBEiv_blU6kt0umaXgPu85NykeI_9GdBoj8zUZ57jJhrycK8mqBeRkm1LjAYqF_mpevk-0JWWtiG6GuFZNKCbbpwlgJLGWdNMRU1CqHJzuicoc6aCr-JzWETcvA8AvUMxTqOQA4rq2AV7z99xfEyD5tErg2NP916cqebtDvOUceoaJZ0Fn/w400-h329/tumblr_4bae612e6f4efde3968e58de712a1ec2_1011c32b_1280.jpeg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /> But, then there are times
where I wonder, are there certain punishments for things like repeated
instances of the same behavior, where that kind of severe punishment is not
only merited but might be the <i>only </i>approach that’s really merited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A spanking like that may not really be so
much about deterrence—though it could be just want is needed for that purpose—but
about pure punishment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, maybe it is
still about deterrence but it’s about her being willing to escalate to
something that just hurts so fucking bad that you will do anything to avoid a
repeat session.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I don’t have a lot to add in
terms of a specific topic, so take it any direction that seems fitting.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Even if I’m having a bit of a hard time fully
embracing the Christmas spirit, I hope that’s not true for all of you. Enjoy
the season. But behave yourself or suffer the consequences!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQstd1CzbSOmtrFSHYAhrYQtrrWvyklDh8sV1kj0eglTYeAkEYbTinRy2Jtjmyj96I-OwuEkfzO_o_Y0LLOTWC4ghQw005bbtLrssRby2aOcwoB5qnc2G85k8vKTkLttkr5sZanq0nxvuvBjnIs5fTBRAoYEudq01qiFSODsWcJU-ny3SYfF4yGvGyykTQ/s540/tumblr_d447ea9892bb5d7255dc8e02985ec9e3_cede6d03_540.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="507" data-original-width="540" height="375" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQstd1CzbSOmtrFSHYAhrYQtrrWvyklDh8sV1kj0eglTYeAkEYbTinRy2Jtjmyj96I-OwuEkfzO_o_Y0LLOTWC4ghQw005bbtLrssRby2aOcwoB5qnc2G85k8vKTkLttkr5sZanq0nxvuvBjnIs5fTBRAoYEudq01qiFSODsWcJU-ny3SYfF4yGvGyykTQ/w400-h375/tumblr_d447ea9892bb5d7255dc8e02985ec9e3_cede6d03_540.png" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /> </span>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-18415832520897671072023-12-09T14:54:00.000-08:002023-12-09T15:02:03.893-08:00The Club - Meeting 458 - Update, the Burdens of Leadership, and Reluctant Disciplinarians<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“The art of leadership
is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes.” — Tony Blair, Former
British prime minister</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female
Led (FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you’re all doing well
and have had a kick-off to the holiday season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m sorry that my posting (and even commenting) has been so lackluster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> At least I think I may be narrowing in on the source of my malaise.<br /></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">As I stated before, I came
back from vacation sick with Covid (for the third time), and my DD interest
seemed to have plummeted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I now have a working
theory on why it happened, though not necessarily how to correct it, at least
not quickly.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I had my annual physical exam
(though, thanks to my procrastinating it usually ends up being closer to biannual)
shortly after we went on vacation. But, I put off doing the blood draw for the
various health-related metrics they check, because I knew that a week at an
all-inclusive resort probably had not done wonders for my cholesterol levels or
other markers. I finally got around to doing the blood draw earlier this week.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Surprisingly, my cholesterol
numbers were great. But, oddly, my testosterone levels are way down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like down by 30% in one year!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no idea why, but out of curiosity I Googled
“Covid and declining testosterone levels.” Sure enough, there is good clinical
data showing that Covid can, in fact, cause sudden declines in
testosterone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I have always said that,
although I don’t have a spanking or discipline “fetish,” it’s certainly true that
the energy that underlies my DD interest is heavily erotic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, what happens when the testosterone that
drives sexual energy drops?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, apparently
in my case it means my interest in DD drops right along with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s hoping it’s temporary. . .. And, I have felt a some slightly stronger erotic stirrings this week, so perhaps the situation is improving.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFc1_ELT9RpTlBFKnr8zE4CskKiifRMwUdF12kbIKcNwTo_JVUH_ZxqNUx-ZCZajpr1V9plqdh0RGhueIXpCQ_F9BiV2c8YyvbahNDteg_IcloZTUwHLy4vdUGwLWtHRdoK-bTxSEcGcvSBM1X1G6EM0JJX-Q1XS9fBwo-jMA64YP67GgEucRkyWIcMbez/s1300/castelli-piaceri-solitari-20.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1281" data-original-width="1300" height="630" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFc1_ELT9RpTlBFKnr8zE4CskKiifRMwUdF12kbIKcNwTo_JVUH_ZxqNUx-ZCZajpr1V9plqdh0RGhueIXpCQ_F9BiV2c8YyvbahNDteg_IcloZTUwHLy4vdUGwLWtHRdoK-bTxSEcGcvSBM1X1G6EM0JJX-Q1XS9fBwo-jMA64YP67GgEucRkyWIcMbez/w640-h630/castelli-piaceri-solitari-20.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In the
meantime, I will diligently try to get my act together on diet and exercise
over the holidays in an effort to get those "T" levels back up. Maybe in the process I'll shed some of the weight I put on <i>last </i>holiday season.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmDhrzQdbfMthj2KPbfZs1yh1VsGekGt6P6Hf21ybGJFtDq0NbDbYGei0jNaeaamwNJwg-phDE6hmmgqcbqYe5O4WXfUbcpf7UvoigooQfuvCHEGpUzckLMoyzWSJ-ASkTV6JEG-y9EaSS1SgRq82LzqrnkiEpMfsahcI216vckSiZoWjzda-nOvAQNUcq/s480/P879Wa.jpg.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="398" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmDhrzQdbfMthj2KPbfZs1yh1VsGekGt6P6Hf21ybGJFtDq0NbDbYGei0jNaeaamwNJwg-phDE6hmmgqcbqYe5O4WXfUbcpf7UvoigooQfuvCHEGpUzckLMoyzWSJ-ASkTV6JEG-y9EaSS1SgRq82LzqrnkiEpMfsahcI216vckSiZoWjzda-nOvAQNUcq/w530-h640/P879Wa.jpg.webp" width="530" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Anyway, I did have the beginnings of a topic glimmering in my brain but it
hadn’t quite gelled yet, when I got a couple of topic ideas that
seemed at least peripherally related.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Norton suggested this:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“Christmas is usually a
stressful time, and this one has the added stress of a resurgence of Covid
where I live, as well as the brewing threat to our democracy, plus the Israeli
- Gaza war, as well as the ongoing war with Russia and Ukraine, which has further
devided the country. When I feel stressed out, I drink more, and pay attention
less. This has led to my earning 3 disciplinary spankings in the last 10 days.
Before this, I went for over a month or longer, not earning any discipline, and
getting only maintenance spankings. When I find things that seem relevant to
us, I bring them up in our check before most spankings. One entry I read from
awhile back was about how difficult it must be for our wives to be in the role
of constantly needing to make decisions about how often and how severe to
punish. My partner affirmed that was true for her as well, and in the middle of
yesterday's spanking, she told me "I don't like having to do this",</span></i><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> which made me feel
somewhat ashamed of putting her through that. It also left me feeling the need
to increase my resolve to not earn any more punishment for awhile. Does any of
this ring true for you guys as well?”</span></i>
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Then, I got this email from “Mike”:<br />
<br />
<i>“First of all thank you for your blog! We started our version of a DD
marriage this August and I had the luck to come across your blog by
chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have only commented once so
far on the recent topic of tears but I read your blog regularly and try to read
through all the old posts (which are a lot!) in order to have a better
understanding of what a DD relationship can look like.</i></span><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> <br /></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">If it's okay with you, I
would like to suggest a topic for a future discussion that has been on my mind
lately. Namely the DD progression in relationships especially with regard to
naturally non dominant wives who have a hard time picking up and applying the
paddle. <br /></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Maybe I can give you a
little background on what I mean by that: My wife is 30 and I am 37. We have
three small kids (so life is very busy and noisy). I have been a hard wired
spanko since childhood but in our 10 years of marriage I kept that secret because
my wife is as vanilla as it gets and does not have a kinky bone in her body.
This summer we had a big argument about my lack of help around the house and I
took this as an opportunity to suggest DD to her. Her response was a clear
“hell no” to spanking me but we did experiment with some other forms of
accountability. After I continued to try to move her in the direction of
spanking I eventually revealed my deep rooted need to her in a very emotional
and vulnerable moment and she reluctantly agreed to give it a try. We tried
different things in the last few months and at the beginning I was too much in
control telling her how to do her discipline job. After we both read “the good
wife's guide to taking charge” (again first heard about it on your blog) she
set up the rule that I write her a list of all my infractions and pin it on our
fridge every friday. She will then deal with me when she feels like it.
Sometimes it is the same weekend but sometimes it may be three weeks later. I
have no say regarding discipline whatsoever.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Now I do count my lucky
stars that I finally get some of the discipline and boundaries I crave and I am
extremely grateful to my wife for being willing to do this for me. But I know
she really doesn´t like spanking me and therefore the spankings are often not
really hard enough and too infrequent. She mostly spanks for things we agreed
together that I should change but never uses her power for other things I do
that really piss her off. It is still mostly me who asks her “do I need to put
this on the report?” when I feel I made her angry (= trying to remind her of
her power) rather than her telling me to put it on the list and expect a severe
spanking the next weekend. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Now on your blog I read
about a lot of wives who took to it naturally and enjoy their power. My wife -
as of now - does not fall into that category. But I am really curious about how
DD progressed in relationships in which the wife at the beginning did not like
spanking their husband but did it anyway. Did that feeling change for some
wives? Did they start to enjoy it? Did intensity and frequency increase? From
what I gathered by reading your blog DD is a process. <br /></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I guess I just try get
some perspective and encouragement / hope that our DD could evolve into more
than it is now. I hope one day she will see DD as a tool she can use to her
benefit rather than a chore she has to perform. At the same time I do know that
my wife is completely worn out from taking care of our kids (youngest being 1
year old) so we started DD in a stage in our lives that is already challenging
enough. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I will stop my rambling
now. Maybe it might be worth a post / discussion. Either way thanks for your
blog. I really appreciate that it is not focused on the bdsm aspect as so many
other blogs are. I don´t really identify with that. If you want to pick up my
topic suggestion feel free to use anything that I did write. I apologize if my
english is a bit off - it´s not my native language.” </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Although they are coming at
it from slightly different angles, it seems to me that both Norton and Mike are
raising the topic of the burdens of taking on the role of
disciplinarian in a DD marriage, and how for some it can be a chore or worse.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">First off, I would like to
congratulate Mike on being honest with his wife about what he needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s also a great thing on her part that,
despite being a vanilla, she has agreed to at least give all this a try.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those moves took courage on both parts and
dedication to the relationship and to each other. And, it may be worth reminding him, be careful what you wish for!<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-H5Jr96-7ZsL63DFOctrWw_ZBj1pCT7tDuVOUOnf5TA86v8_MDorKjClLwrtehiTlUmjfK3XvCY9uya8sp61BEpNLSRuEeZEaoGkWolDhsMztJAsnLlg9QvVWlu5oxldKkTXxcqdsfl1VvHlmfSavjTUyWfmjuKGOaQ264tn0oQJCJ99fClEgB2ba7qqT/s1294/tumblr_odnqdvGZ5z1ulkwvdo1_1280.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1294" data-original-width="1280" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-H5Jr96-7ZsL63DFOctrWw_ZBj1pCT7tDuVOUOnf5TA86v8_MDorKjClLwrtehiTlUmjfK3XvCY9uya8sp61BEpNLSRuEeZEaoGkWolDhsMztJAsnLlg9QvVWlu5oxldKkTXxcqdsfl1VvHlmfSavjTUyWfmjuKGOaQ264tn0oQJCJ99fClEgB2ba7qqT/w396-h400/tumblr_odnqdvGZ5z1ulkwvdo1_1280.png" width="396" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Regarding Mike’s request for
guidance, I may not be the best resource, as<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got lucky that while, like Mike’s wife, mine began this journey seemingly
“<i>as vanilla as it gets [without] a kinky bone in her body” </i>mine was one
of those who seemed to take to it surprisingly easily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, I do think she thought the whole thing
was kind of weird at first, but that didn’t stop her from giving very hard
spankings almost from the beginning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Though, it is still, in fact,
a process. For example, she hasn’t always shown the initiative Mike talks about
of being quick to punish for things that truly piss her off, even though we are
almost twenty years into this little experiment. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">But, I also have seen her
confidence in herself and her general proclivity for keeping DD “top of mind”
grow by leaps and bounds, particularly over the last couple of years since she
retired. And, while it ebbs and flows, there definitely have been times over
the last year when I felt she increasingly was coming to her own conclusions about the need
for increased strictness.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOCHRDoGtc8M2qYtTldchNPGr614OZIjkw7OnM-tUvKJdXfeprO_17t27lbDp06x5SBbcSdUJ37vECSrs0jLHioJsJKaTGg_AmlgFct0H7eByVwvuLfFTZh3nHNf2Rhd0mNdstB99l01tKf4dTRevwKwDcxbA2SXdtEKS3SYtqeijnZ2zj8kXyzd4FxZAr/s934/tumblr_67fc3a13001fbb518318199b3e566f68_3c48b116_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="934" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOCHRDoGtc8M2qYtTldchNPGr614OZIjkw7OnM-tUvKJdXfeprO_17t27lbDp06x5SBbcSdUJ37vECSrs0jLHioJsJKaTGg_AmlgFct0H7eByVwvuLfFTZh3nHNf2Rhd0mNdstB99l01tKf4dTRevwKwDcxbA2SXdtEKS3SYtqeijnZ2zj8kXyzd4FxZAr/w400-h321/tumblr_67fc3a13001fbb518318199b3e566f68_3c48b116_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">As for Norton’s concerns, I’m
also perhaps not the best person to respond.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t think that delivering hard disciplinary spankings has ever been
an <i>emotional</i> burden <i>per se</i> for Anne.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As I said, she took to them very readily and now, twenty years later, I
think she downright enjoys giving them and actually gets antsy when (like now) she
hasn’t blistered my backside in several weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She has never said anything like, “I don’t like doing this to you” because
I think she very much DOES like doing it to me!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxRnuZ_0UYPOo8j0zjySqeJ0fok8SPA5q-tcr1rjFyhgbtcKdZJej2HZW5vgD4heT2tezjr2y-7YbB_yYCBbPOoZ-8qMX38ijo_j9ze415kJXW4-hCiIDddVDB5icsMFhakOj95R8nBd9cQT76b93Hz5WGUgocpPFg4Lc6zizc0qBsS9cKOPSGzwP0oTNK/s978/tumblr_59cbc194c0291b06839a4e334087dde1_0b8794e5_1280.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="978" height="530" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxRnuZ_0UYPOo8j0zjySqeJ0fok8SPA5q-tcr1rjFyhgbtcKdZJej2HZW5vgD4heT2tezjr2y-7YbB_yYCBbPOoZ-8qMX38ijo_j9ze415kJXW4-hCiIDddVDB5icsMFhakOj95R8nBd9cQT76b93Hz5WGUgocpPFg4Lc6zizc0qBsS9cKOPSGzwP0oTNK/w640-h530/tumblr_59cbc194c0291b06839a4e334087dde1_0b8794e5_1280.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I do think sometimes she has
experienced DD as a <i>logistical</i> burden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She has told me that sometimes when she’s decided I need a spanking, she
will have to think about how to work it into a busy day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I’m sure that isn’t easy, and I do
sympathize, I don’t think it happens that often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My own reaction to that logistical burden is
interesting, at least to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something
about envisioning her mentally going through her daily calendar, figuring out
when to work in a much-deserved spanking, really turns me on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirAa_HNJZQSlJmFTQlWohbq4N9WAKo0WRJnnmc4uR7BX6Mln_U_VCIv6FEIZTy5CrKpXh7C5U7Cr-pm0xri5R0jxsgOR0fXyovSEAoU6fPq_ygEnrWnY8HYRF-ttrFrV7b_L7vhsmle4kiP_jk1SNB-CsAdzZY1Zt4Gd9gmrgD9dkfICZ6fKySMPdGQzZ3/s728/tumblr_ooie7mse1S1ulkwvdo1_540.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="728" data-original-width="540" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirAa_HNJZQSlJmFTQlWohbq4N9WAKo0WRJnnmc4uR7BX6Mln_U_VCIv6FEIZTy5CrKpXh7C5U7Cr-pm0xri5R0jxsgOR0fXyovSEAoU6fPq_ygEnrWnY8HYRF-ttrFrV7b_L7vhsmle4kiP_jk1SNB-CsAdzZY1Zt4Gd9gmrgD9dkfICZ6fKySMPdGQzZ3/w474-h640/tumblr_ooie7mse1S1ulkwvdo1_540.png" width="474" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: medium;">That may not be surprising,
given how many times I’ve written here about the attraction I have both to the “maternal”
disciplinarian archetype and to an approach that is very “all business.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something about the head of the household
working out mentally when to deliver a spanking, as if it were just another
item on the to-do list definitely resonates with me.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you all have a great
week.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdjVIloI2oJOj-8LwUYKC-LYCpbpK54QdYnX4KYuwzQtPRTC0UH-7rpTk6gV2PBa6RVOD_8HOD3mVAsqY30RxqG53QMvb40aMlIyL5sP2vz2PWmJcQNmMjPAxfLHBjRgMq4cWwjKbR5uSbDtdb7auXshd5aA3-lXyQlpCr_w3AOu7S_gMrDAPqm7t9B-Ki/s1571/blogtouch_picture_009f75e7_00e6_4cd9_c35c_1e236ba69ae7.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1571" data-original-width="1125" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdjVIloI2oJOj-8LwUYKC-LYCpbpK54QdYnX4KYuwzQtPRTC0UH-7rpTk6gV2PBa6RVOD_8HOD3mVAsqY30RxqG53QMvb40aMlIyL5sP2vz2PWmJcQNmMjPAxfLHBjRgMq4cWwjKbR5uSbDtdb7auXshd5aA3-lXyQlpCr_w3AOu7S_gMrDAPqm7t9B-Ki/w458-h640/blogtouch_picture_009f75e7_00e6_4cd9_c35c_1e236ba69ae7.jpg" width="458" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style> <br /></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com76tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-80328236060831513832023-11-26T15:08:00.000-08:002023-11-26T15:08:36.793-08:00(Slightly) Extended Hiatus<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLiWjyLiIl9npZ02rpu3Jz5Sbgviimqg7s4DV96i2HfPzdZWqGgmitlLpskIGZOsN5DYr1bjlYpDXHRzfJOEgLiAyuK3uorYsRZ2O97ODYyrXvr_mQJloMH_6SUc1RyYs1O_J0ZUS0S8kMdCjRoy_5FRUg5hT0IQxhPP18UDf2qTkOxszSKu94E9Wvb1vF/s978/tumblr_59cbc194c0291b06839a4e334087dde1_0b8794e5_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="978" height="530" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLiWjyLiIl9npZ02rpu3Jz5Sbgviimqg7s4DV96i2HfPzdZWqGgmitlLpskIGZOsN5DYr1bjlYpDXHRzfJOEgLiAyuK3uorYsRZ2O97ODYyrXvr_mQJloMH_6SUc1RyYs1O_J0ZUS0S8kMdCjRoy_5FRUg5hT0IQxhPP18UDf2qTkOxszSKu94E9Wvb1vF/w640-h530/tumblr_59cbc194c0291b06839a4e334087dde1_0b8794e5_1280.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><br />Hello all. I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving and a relaxing long weekend.<p></p><p>I apologize for the very inconsistent posting. But, I'm not going to get a post out this weekend and possibly not this week. It's not really busyness, so much as a post-illness total lack of inspiration or even DD interest. This has happened a few times. gotten really sick or had a medical procedure and had all DD inclinations go poof! I felt a few glimmers of an idea for a post come through today, but not enough to lead to an actual post.</p><p>So, feel free to start a thread here if you have anything you want to talk about. Or, just tell us about your Thanksgiving. </p><p>Have a great week.</p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-42702697967211138592023-11-20T09:09:00.000-08:002023-11-20T09:09:53.568-08:00Happy Thanksgiving - No New Post This Week<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCTASPIRR2pDQrfpzfxvcw76i7slGE2Nz5vnMQ3HI3l-SyHwBM0YSfKJ6QgFLP7HhHc73CBZDa1WvacOUYAjn83eAJFQZ19QQynGASvgVqL_9uusNphQ9cgWiW1MeGUGvHTWsktdQx-v7hZyc3WH6hJgHTHHBtAJrzlU5ilI04mI27Us10-7ypuWm16XcX/s400/yathanks-sexy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="289" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCTASPIRR2pDQrfpzfxvcw76i7slGE2Nz5vnMQ3HI3l-SyHwBM0YSfKJ6QgFLP7HhHc73CBZDa1WvacOUYAjn83eAJFQZ19QQynGASvgVqL_9uusNphQ9cgWiW1MeGUGvHTWsktdQx-v7hZyc3WH6hJgHTHHBtAJrzlU5ilI04mI27Us10-7ypuWm16XcX/w462-h640/yathanks-sexy.jpg" width="462" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Hi all. I had planned to post this week but, unfortunately, I'm now three-for-three in getting Covid during or after vacation travel. That annoying little bug seems to have just the right key to open the door and get past my fully vaccine-enhanced immune system. Anyway, my head is way too full of congestion for any DD-related inspiration to pierce the mental fog.</p><p>For those of you in the U.S., I hope you have a great week, including time spent with family and friends. I hope you eat well, rest up, and travel safely.</p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-58578712798877907882023-11-04T16:19:00.006-07:002023-11-04T16:53:35.281-07:00The Club - Meeting 457 - Deterrent or Not?<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“The difference between
a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of
knowledge, but rather a lack in will.” ― Vince Lombardi Jr.</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led
(FLR) relationships.</span>
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Once again, before we get
started I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status.
While I’ve always said the blog is open to both men and women, one of our commenters
suggested I expressly invite our female readers to join the discussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please consider the invitation
enthusiastically extended.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I hope you all had a great
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m bummed that my second favorite
holiday has come and gone. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though, there
still is a bit of Fall left, and the seasonal foods carry through to
Thanksgiving.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIH7jOsx7ZHqWyZRVxf9VFD37RDQqSXR63PgBzXL5aGZf7HVLsT6OmBcyF0Fy5P_kO33jBkEP-X3GA7ax04-Fa2cJKCeiwr-bmgYBrN5z8jQpCgI5GlzoSD3Xf6a8-Aj_Zscj4WRATw-gZvjbMsnH5O1bZO9gxEWjqnHsc40qMqECHv_m9THr5ukOGiaC/s592/tumblr_pzn9vbSFh81ulkwvdo1_540.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="592" data-original-width="540" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIH7jOsx7ZHqWyZRVxf9VFD37RDQqSXR63PgBzXL5aGZf7HVLsT6OmBcyF0Fy5P_kO33jBkEP-X3GA7ax04-Fa2cJKCeiwr-bmgYBrN5z8jQpCgI5GlzoSD3Xf6a8-Aj_Zscj4WRATw-gZvjbMsnH5O1bZO9gxEWjqnHsc40qMqECHv_m9THr5ukOGiaC/w365-h400/tumblr_pzn9vbSFh81ulkwvdo1_540.jpg" width="365" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">We got mobbed by
trick-or-treaters this year, probably because the weather wasn’t too bad, which
is a rarity over Halloween where we live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What I still can’t figure out is the waves of junior high, and even high
school, kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my day, we had better
things to do, like drinking and doing drugs. What’s with kids these days??</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Last week’s discussion was
one of those in which, by the end of the week, I felt like we had a great
discussion but I literally had to go back and check what the topic had
been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which is perfectly fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The conversation meandered a lot, but we
toughed on some great stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reasons
versus resets. Others knowing, and the associated vulnerability and
embarrassment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Exceeding one’s
limits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Asking for a spanking. Going to
pros.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Older women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maternal discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">There was a lot of good stuff
that I’ll need to go back and plumb for future topics. One that personally intrigued
me:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">When
my wife was deciding whether to spank me or not, she commented that she was not
my mother and never wanted to be acting as my mother. Then she proceeded to
spank me just as my mother had -- OTK, bare bottom but not nude, with an
implement, with scolding, no sexual connotations, but comfort afterwards. While
I knew she was acting maternally, I never said so. I realized that I wanted her
to be in loco parentis without realizing it or being confused by it. That was
good for both of us.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The “in loco parentis”
comment succinctly summarized something I’ve been feeling lately, but I think I’ll
save it for a future topic. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Instead, I’ll go with this suggestion,
also from KOJ:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Possible
topic: Describe occasions where you know you are about to cross the line and
earn yourself a spanking. Does that knowledge often act as a deterrent? Or do
you often do it (whatever) anyway? If so, why? Are you testing her to see what
will happen? Are you hoping to earn a spanking? Is your male ego just doing
what it wants to do? Have you not been spanked enough for this particular
behavior to have learned your lesson? Or ...?</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I’ll take the liberty of also
re-posting ZM’s responsive comment:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">DD
has allowed me to change behaviors and especially attitudes, but I can never
think of a time that I chose to act differently or not exhibit an attitude
because I thought it may result in a spanking. Rather, I have changed because
DD allowed me to see things differently, and often from her perspective, and
that is what brought about change.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The
exception to this was when we were doing weekly check-ins with goals and
punishments. Those did provide strong motivation, and I often changed my
behavior to avoid punishment. Even there, however, I cannot think of a time
that I chose to do something anyway, knowing it might result in punishment, nor
did I want to test her. Rather, sometimes I did my best, or at least what I
thought was my best, and it simply wasn't enough. Or sometimes there were
things that I didn't have complete control over that kept me from meeting
goals. And finally, especially with diet, I would go ahead and eat something
because I wanted to, but always with my over-optimistic idea that I would work
harder or follow the diet better the other days to still hit my target. I never
thought "maybe this will get me punished, but I am going to do it
anyway," but rather I thought "it will be ok, because I still have
plenty of time to hit my target."</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">This
one is kind of a tough one for me to answer, probably because there really aren’t
that many times that I <i>know </i>I am about to cross the line. And, it’s very
rare, if ever, that I test her to see what will happen, and I can confidently
say that I <i>never </i>do something in hopes of earning a spanking.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The
closest I come to going over a <i>known line </i>is probably not paying enough attention to
a known risk because I have, in fact, repeatedly gotten away with similar behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Though, even that is pretty rare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">And, on a very few occasions, I probably do consciously decide to take the risk because it's something I want to do more than I fear the spanking for doing it.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-0PvGgYZ031CUe2qqF7dm83Lv6J0Zm1s3azFIy-I17a2Ob8R-fcx9OrRk62AKO49EUqx7sH92fVCA8vrgnNb-ZYN12OEIUbtHAdNbkgXEZlNdbsBi6YjWtfJx2X99Qtme52ftLzidAznhkwnamvaMl4hjHxw1Du2jotKFZMYHaPtuap-Mq-4dc7rlVCvL/s320/00000000000010.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="320" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-0PvGgYZ031CUe2qqF7dm83Lv6J0Zm1s3azFIy-I17a2Ob8R-fcx9OrRk62AKO49EUqx7sH92fVCA8vrgnNb-ZYN12OEIUbtHAdNbkgXEZlNdbsBi6YjWtfJx2X99Qtme52ftLzidAznhkwnamvaMl4hjHxw1Du2jotKFZMYHaPtuap-Mq-4dc7rlVCvL/w400-h400/00000000000010.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">A
counter-example may serve best to illustrate that the underlying reason
probably lies in KOJ’s question: “<i>Have you not been spanked enough for this
particular behavior to have learned your lesson?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>I talked about how a few weeks ago Anne
thought I was driving too fast and threatened not just one spanking, but a
spanking every day for a week, if I got a ticket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What did I do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I slowed down. Reluctantly and grudgingly,
but I slowed down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">What would have happened
if she had threatened just one spanking?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Honestly, there is a good chance I would have taken the risk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been spanked dozens of times, and a
ticket didn’t seem very likely, so the cost-benefit analysis of speeding might
have tilted in the direction of doing what I wanted. But, getting
spanked every day for a week? Just the thought of that was “enough.”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcirZxlH2wUoJts6jRHkyidlaUnbLIGaM2sP2Dd4ebwNQPk7492Q6bUb23cmlGE3iFiDukMsFLfAInUnqX4RKKbAITqvHpk_pf-eo48qJNjqu1FDDFXpxNzrAjFSx9DvOSEJfZhVSqWmTPvQURg1JDmPLdQOn-tjnCrJVja7CfesCDQq7UopV0SLj3_OZP/s852/tumblr_6c1e4ba516c3663110e4df5a69a6ea69_94451f42_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="808" data-original-width="852" height="379" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcirZxlH2wUoJts6jRHkyidlaUnbLIGaM2sP2Dd4ebwNQPk7492Q6bUb23cmlGE3iFiDukMsFLfAInUnqX4RKKbAITqvHpk_pf-eo48qJNjqu1FDDFXpxNzrAjFSx9DvOSEJfZhVSqWmTPvQURg1JDmPLdQOn-tjnCrJVja7CfesCDQq7UopV0SLj3_OZP/w400-h379/tumblr_6c1e4ba516c3663110e4df5a69a6ea69_94451f42_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">That’s
a fairly unique case, in which I did engage in some conscious risk assessment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually, I either tend to drift over lines
without thinking about them, or the offense itself is about being careless and
forgetful.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The best example is probably my ongoing problem with
leaving doors unlocked or not ensuring that the garage door closes fully before
I go inside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It happens fairly often,
even though it really pisses Anne off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
I know it pisses her off, why do I still forget?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m definitely not testing her, or deliberately disobeying, or hoping for
a spanking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ4K3ehX38qna1lnWJQBOvpuGWrFegyV4XLegeWufypLAVPlmP7iOOabS0cRJStn-J-RND146P9XA6bCCtYPXyrw_xgSRnJYvrXARHrajJ9EuxQ4DZowfiOKJyZwWcq9Sz4_SylWIb2DcebdTIR3-S6HOMTfrXC8AkxcuyjCcRx1Ntw-G4vPybYZ-IVA5h/s535/tumblr_oz982hQzOs1ulkwvdo1_400.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="535" data-original-width="400" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ4K3ehX38qna1lnWJQBOvpuGWrFegyV4XLegeWufypLAVPlmP7iOOabS0cRJStn-J-RND146P9XA6bCCtYPXyrw_xgSRnJYvrXARHrajJ9EuxQ4DZowfiOKJyZwWcq9Sz4_SylWIb2DcebdTIR3-S6HOMTfrXC8AkxcuyjCcRx1Ntw-G4vPybYZ-IVA5h/w478-h640/tumblr_oz982hQzOs1ulkwvdo1_400.png" width="478" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">And, it’s not like I’m consciously
blowing off her concerns even if I don’t share them to the same extent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, I simply get distracted and don’t
notice a door is unlocked before I leave or get distracted and don’t watch the
garage door go all the way down when I go into the house.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Those
failings definitely are my fault, but there also is the issue of whether Anne
is escalating enough to guarantee that she overcomes my forgetfulness. The fact
is, we have talked about making that a “no tolerance” offense, and she always
agrees that it should be . . . then she lets me off the hook. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">It happened
just last week. I came back from a dog walk. Thirty minutes later, I was
sitting in my office and Anne was leaving for the gym when she yelled up that the
garage door was open . . . again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I yelled
down a somewhat shaky apology. I really expected I might hear something like, “Well,
I’m leaving. So, we’ll take care of your spanking when I get back.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nope, she just left and that was the end of
it.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hence,
the reason I chose the Lombardi quote, above. I assume that when Lombardi referred to “lack of will,” he was talking about the unsuccessful person lacking it. But, it could also be the coach/boss/leader’s lack of will, couldn’t
it? They say they want a particular result, but are they really escalating the
consequences to the point that the subject will really <i>get</i> how <i>bad</i>
the consequences will be, and how <i>certain</i> they will be, if they don’t
step up?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3c1yB5rU_Fp0lAIho86YfBD5k15QDxZq41RuElAdC_IxB4moiDNL5bwVAb2OLjeTCDoS5qkZ2erYCteKTWxus6nnR-Cdm0OZM9bvWknEGhRIYsk_2iEJ8Mpcd0nbpvhe2icQ2yXWqElMth-P17KIbk3XVSWJFAE_AZeKNwfL3G0enlj2BY-XjOp3caBL/s592/tumblr_ojfjezQ77c1tjz7myo1_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="538" data-original-width="592" height="582" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3c1yB5rU_Fp0lAIho86YfBD5k15QDxZq41RuElAdC_IxB4moiDNL5bwVAb2OLjeTCDoS5qkZ2erYCteKTWxus6nnR-Cdm0OZM9bvWknEGhRIYsk_2iEJ8Mpcd0nbpvhe2icQ2yXWqElMth-P17KIbk3XVSWJFAE_AZeKNwfL3G0enlj2BY-XjOp3caBL/w640-h582/tumblr_ojfjezQ77c1tjz7myo1_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /> As
another example, several of us have talked about how our wives have used DD to
put some boundaries or limits around alcohol. That’s one where my forgetfulness
borders on chemically-induced amnesia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After a couple of drinks, it’s like the possibility of a spanking simply
never enters my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I’m
honestly not sure whether DD or threats of DD would change that, since it does
seem to just vanish from my conscious decision-making process. But, would that be the case if she carried through
with a threat like the threatened week of spankings for a ticket? I really don’t
know, but I do think the willingness to escalate is key. I’ve used this
spanking drawing several times, but that’s because it illustrates the
escalation concept so perfectly.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE_aA1e0LMIOGCLaEQF9DdzuCtjwKDKdWAScnvrlrsTv0DYQURU9CRgaX-wBgKRhftjQ23k9Jt5sW-0TH-kCd9FD4rz6AarHgkDtDnc0GX_uPxeOxE_m02_E6ggdSlnheAzcaxnea5vzJVXYXNr4S1aGjhed0dG6SW2YvnA8oWLMVRrx-9OQgP6pPEA2mn/s400/emmasadvice.001%20came%20from%20Topspin's%20Graphics%20at%20otk_fms.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="400" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE_aA1e0LMIOGCLaEQF9DdzuCtjwKDKdWAScnvrlrsTv0DYQURU9CRgaX-wBgKRhftjQ23k9Jt5sW-0TH-kCd9FD4rz6AarHgkDtDnc0GX_uPxeOxE_m02_E6ggdSlnheAzcaxnea5vzJVXYXNr4S1aGjhed0dG6SW2YvnA8oWLMVRrx-9OQgP6pPEA2mn/w640-h480/emmasadvice.001%20came%20from%20Topspin's%20Graphics%20at%20otk_fms.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">There also is the
issue of warnings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I said, Anne did give
me a very strong, direct warning about what the consequences would be if I got
a speeding ticket on our trip. But, that really is the exception. I do think
that, at least in some circumstances, I might toe that line better, instead of
drifting right over it, if she made it unmistakably clear what would happen
otherwise.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1pj0Z4MPec7iPxGJo9wH2Ob1cWid7DUJgFff3sPga1QUt_saNGqzYQC95CDt2vrsaDTN0Iwed5t-WZgY8qYf0n9v1MdYVSnj0Ajny9NbfgD5JdPBbHHCI7QtGux05Vdqf8I5_ZNhZzVU_4Ui1eqxo6SfSw0XFUZfwUv87X5x8f4O6n1YvNhwRO2qVB0HX/s667/tumblr_40c7cceb43d0c71aa77093cd53bb3a75_d453674d_500.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="667" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1pj0Z4MPec7iPxGJo9wH2Ob1cWid7DUJgFff3sPga1QUt_saNGqzYQC95CDt2vrsaDTN0Iwed5t-WZgY8qYf0n9v1MdYVSnj0Ajny9NbfgD5JdPBbHHCI7QtGux05Vdqf8I5_ZNhZzVU_4Ui1eqxo6SfSw0XFUZfwUv87X5x8f4O6n1YvNhwRO2qVB0HX/w480-h640/tumblr_40c7cceb43d0c71aa77093cd53bb3a75_d453674d_500.jpeg" width="480" /></a></div><br /> <style>@font-face
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{page:WordS</style><span style="font-size: 15pt;">None
of this is to say that DD is not a deterrent and hasn’t successfully been so.
It’s just been an imperfect one. Sometimes it’s because I’m willing to take a
bit of a risk for something I want to do (speeding, socializing, etc.).
Sometimes it’s because I don’t see the line that I’m about to cross. Sometimes
the behavior itself is something I’m just not paying enough attention to.</span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGadoui9t0n_1sG2I3hIFFJwBAP7o6hCJMzdPUCpvOyMRtSYLXVQ9IZ4PMYJuInTRKK-NCp4lhdlVpcmga58cUWiuOlr58KVEL9xFCImmGZIlXsw7Db6bGg9TVekbO2J7pE8Qnryf8RkKWHyH3oyLaqQsUf35xBvZpwAInueiSixGhoQY-Tpq4EmWjkqPz/s540/tumblr_pk25l9joUh1ulkwvdo1_540.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="482" data-original-width="540" height="573" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGadoui9t0n_1sG2I3hIFFJwBAP7o6hCJMzdPUCpvOyMRtSYLXVQ9IZ4PMYJuInTRKK-NCp4lhdlVpcmga58cUWiuOlr58KVEL9xFCImmGZIlXsw7Db6bGg9TVekbO2J7pE8Qnryf8RkKWHyH3oyLaqQsUf35xBvZpwAInueiSixGhoQY-Tpq4EmWjkqPz/w640-h573/tumblr_pk25l9joUh1ulkwvdo1_540.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I can’t speak much to ZM’s examples. We haven’t really used DD to reinforce some
concrete goal, like losing weight. If we did, I suspect that my key failing would
be similar to his.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would make some
excuse to indulge some activity I know is bad for me, thinking that I would
double-down later, but it would instead lead to more and more backsliding. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">A somewhat similar example that <i>is </i>an issue for me is procrastination. I often just don't get much done even though I have plenty of time. And, it's not always minor stuff or things that Anne doesn't care about. There have been medical things that Anne was probably more concerned about than I was, yet I didn't jump on getting them attended to right away. In those cases, making spanking a more effective deterrent probably would require more rigorous self-reporting, because sometimes Anne <i>isn't </i>aware of even the existence of the more important things I have on my to-do list and/or isn't aware that I haven't made any progress.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8QYSLbllqtc30-HQiEFYwbrvRGllNFC6C2kRX1DlYV77XNEz6za4tllfVfaj8dUgkBE9eDLaRbciJ5cEXthbQOyiF6h6fGW6RRsicYEm2zB2VinTzPv5ARY82a5sjfKqDKObaRkFQODcpgRfBq020O_fZUZ_KjcgNNm3Plj07XgMcwqD4oFybORvQQqF7/s750/tumblr_ooidy4f4fK1ulkwvdo1_1280.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="709" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8QYSLbllqtc30-HQiEFYwbrvRGllNFC6C2kRX1DlYV77XNEz6za4tllfVfaj8dUgkBE9eDLaRbciJ5cEXthbQOyiF6h6fGW6RRsicYEm2zB2VinTzPv5ARY82a5sjfKqDKObaRkFQODcpgRfBq020O_fZUZ_KjcgNNm3Plj07XgMcwqD4oFybORvQQqF7/w606-h640/tumblr_ooidy4f4fK1ulkwvdo1_1280.png" width="606" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">How
about you? Has spanking been a strong deterrent?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has in proven more effective for some things
and less so for others? What makes the difference?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you sometimes consciously know you are
about to cross the line and earn yourself a spanking but do it anyway? Why?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Ladies,
do you recognize when your husband is going to cross that line?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it something you seem him do often,
despite your best DD efforts? Why do you think that happens? Have you thought
about escalating the number or severity of punishments?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are there other things you’ve done to nip the
problem in the bud?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 4.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Have a great week! FYI, we are off on another
vacation next week and into the following week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I should have reliable connectivity but it’s likely I won’t get a post out
while we’re gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to play it
by ear and will try to keep up with comments to some extent.</span>
<p><style>@font-face
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com156tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-41942592405965540552023-10-29T16:29:00.032-07:002023-10-29T17:42:07.200-07:00The Club - Meeting 456 - Specific Reasons or Generalized "Resets", Reporting and Asking, etc.
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">“<b><i>Karma is a tricky
thing. To serve karma, one must repay good karma to others. To serve Karma
well, one must sometimes deliver bad karma where it is due.” ― R. Mathias</i></b></span></p>
<style>@font-face
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{page:WordSection1;}</style><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and Female Led
(FLR) relationships. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Once again, before we get
started I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female
readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status.
While I’ve always said the blog is open to both men and women, one of our commenters
suggested I expressly invite our female readers to join the discussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please consider the invitation
enthusiastically extended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #050505; font-size: 15pt;"><style>@font-face
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{page:WordSection1;}</style> <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #050505; font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh712eLzdIEoM1XZPj9CqV7u8RYXOdLT_iAXG049jRtf6J77dzBlyw-krq5xWHobufLGXK4AsfX8YNYBdKbNP14y_yAIL6bM33VUdcewdBlAKfbaqescrLLSCoqFxgXMCNcx6c9MqJK356HjONBafVfT-rROFQpiXm9M0GihCnMi5MOiAtX_WYjmVsq6RnO/s320/hhhh.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="244" data-original-width="320" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh712eLzdIEoM1XZPj9CqV7u8RYXOdLT_iAXG049jRtf6J77dzBlyw-krq5xWHobufLGXK4AsfX8YNYBdKbNP14y_yAIL6bM33VUdcewdBlAKfbaqescrLLSCoqFxgXMCNcx6c9MqJK356HjONBafVfT-rROFQpiXm9M0GihCnMi5MOiAtX_WYjmVsq6RnO/w400-h305/hhhh.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #050505; font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><span style="font-size: 15pt;">This will be our last post
before Halloween, so . . . Happy Halloween!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s always been one of my very favorite holidays though, honestly,
other than decorating the house and handing out candy, traditionally we haven’t
really done that much for it. This week, for the first time in ages we went to
a Halloween costume party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was for
adults, but nothing risqué.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Darn it.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br /></span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #050505; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #050505; font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFjan5GRoA0bfoQGQKYrD87B9qFpcl_KnOyjWM3x-kMMYHmN8aqTCz-sWfm3ilgH0jrg07Bo8taPTVtA__4V4I5KLrZOOswsZAUwGBH0S2h7wAn-CLUEzNX1q67FaniBvSSAOVtPdX_9o7LbbQtHnig4V4rzo78wwalSW6jARKeMWECb1VKFONtV5_8xfR/s350/3253471351412207.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="287" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFjan5GRoA0bfoQGQKYrD87B9qFpcl_KnOyjWM3x-kMMYHmN8aqTCz-sWfm3ilgH0jrg07Bo8taPTVtA__4V4I5KLrZOOswsZAUwGBH0S2h7wAn-CLUEzNX1q67FaniBvSSAOVtPdX_9o7LbbQtHnig4V4rzo78wwalSW6jARKeMWECb1VKFONtV5_8xfR/w524-h640/3253471351412207.jpg" width="524" /></a></div><br /> A good time was had by all, though not <i>too </i>good. <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #050505; font-size: 15pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1btJWKWlScgrheTol4aq95y8-Ht3ctqGlocsrAFQbaQQwRL5remdGLWQdA5znJvLGww2x1RGUxZCC2icphqVkL474mvr5wc6t4FzOnthOyTmgx5-p9Dpdiola4nzmkSqvHJX6c11HPWqiOCtZTChcCnoHBdaTg6ISkYlG1cftFYIgWunGeyeCrBCjWHuJ/s737/Mail%20Attachment.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="737" data-original-width="558" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1btJWKWlScgrheTol4aq95y8-Ht3ctqGlocsrAFQbaQQwRL5remdGLWQdA5znJvLGww2x1RGUxZCC2icphqVkL474mvr5wc6t4FzOnthOyTmgx5-p9Dpdiola4nzmkSqvHJX6c11HPWqiOCtZTChcCnoHBdaTg6ISkYlG1cftFYIgWunGeyeCrBCjWHuJ/w485-h640/Mail%20Attachment.jpeg" width="485" /></a></div>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">However, something did happen
that has some potential bearing on some of the things we talk about here on
this blog. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Over the last few months,
I’ve developed a new friendship with the host of our Halloween party. It’s a
pretty new relationship, and neither of us knows all that much about the
other’s personal life. But, it was clear from the first time we got together with
our wives that his “wears the pants” in that family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has a big, bold personality, but hers is
clearly the more dominant. As the party was kicking off, she took the floor to
explain some of the planned festivities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Her husband was off to the side chatting with someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After trying for a few seconds to talk over
him, she called out: “Hey, will you please shut the fuck up? I’m talking
here.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her tone was kind of teasing, but
also kind of not. She’s clearly someone who is used to issuing orders and
having them obeyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was not the
first time I've felt that vibe from them. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Over the entirety of our DD
relationship, I’ve come across only one other couple who made me seriously
wonder whether they might be in a similar dynamic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The interactions I’ve had with this new
friend and his wife over the last few weeks definitely have me wondering
whether they might be a second.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The odd thing is, I’m feeling
some interesting qualms about whether I would want him to know about our DD,
even If I were convinced he’s in a similar dynamic. It’s gendered as hell, but
it’s clear to me that for all my professed openness to letting others know, I
do have a bigger issue with men knowing than I do about women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br /></span></span></p><style>@font-face
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{page:WordSection1;}</style><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjredQFYWaoK_ajOr1WAW4AfrzcWuqhArGLAjpT67CuLjPDKsozspcSPRNFRWzCh8Oi2wbMH_tqhBqnV6EgigcGNRLfVBtYWdfdELcKWr25PJCV0iTpKhmhJcrm4S1e4CnCDMtb1Jq2-FSw7PIpkq2YSrKtXV1P7T1ICE07cQj5zW2VrLikg2d4WigVLCPB/s640/tumblr_o9sk5e8P6Q1v9mypxo1_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjredQFYWaoK_ajOr1WAW4AfrzcWuqhArGLAjpT67CuLjPDKsozspcSPRNFRWzCh8Oi2wbMH_tqhBqnV6EgigcGNRLfVBtYWdfdELcKWr25PJCV0iTpKhmhJcrm4S1e4CnCDMtb1Jq2-FSw7PIpkq2YSrKtXV1P7T1ICE07cQj5zW2VrLikg2d4WigVLCPB/w400-h400/tumblr_o9sk5e8P6Q1v9mypxo1_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p> <span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15pt;">As I’ve noted before, early
on in our relationship I told a female friend about our DD
experimentation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t recall being
all that embarrassed about it, even though she was vanilla and I really had no
idea how she might react.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, I find
myself way more resistant to even the possibility of opening up to another man,
even though in his case I do have some reason to think he could be in a
somewhat similar dynamic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, part of
it is clearly about the longevity of the relationship and differences in how
well I know him versus my female confidante.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, I don’t think that’s really the only thing at play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway . . . food for thought.</span>
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I go through phases where I
seem to have lots of ideas for blog topics, then I inevitably hit a dry spell.
The latter is happening now and has been for a few weeks. Since I’m lacking for
real inspiration, I thought I might explore one of my favorite comments from
last week--one from TB--and see whether we can parse it a bit more deeply.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of quoting the whole thing then
probing it in a series of observations, I’m going to take it piece-by-piece,
mixing up the order of our comment exchange a little and hitting on things that
caught my attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of
narrowing down to a particular topic, I invite all of your to jump in with
anything his comment or my observations bring to mind.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #050505; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">DD started for us as a way
of satisfying my lifelong interest in spanking. We were playing about one
night, she started to spank me and <b>I opened up about my interest a few days
later. It gave her some power over me</b> as she was able to access a part
of me that I had kept secret from everybody. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">As I told TB in my comments
last week, this resonates with me strongly, though I had not thought about my interactions
with Anne in quite this way before. I do recall vividly the conversation in
which I first told Anne that I had discovered The Disciplinary Wives Club
website, suggesting but not quite coming out and saying that I was interested
in trying it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I definitely was very
embarrassed and felt very vulnerable explaining it to her, not knowing how she would react. When she called me at the office the next day and told me she thought the whole thing was "interesting"--enough so that I should buy a brush on the way home--my heart definitely skipped a beat.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiczcJhrtSYc57Ruse3GtZ5wN8WEJ7mYmOrFnSrj-D3Wl2ryDWhFQ2QH9-y4Pk2-9WZMK3V7jafIyLI12Pnm6e-j27ZJtg135OrmqyKiGHbdI49qqcz0AZ7QscE25epQOEqesCtxBt6bTLzxoO8xvE3xG1Oq0riHDyypa518-zcR5ay124ZSdwvAa4dDE3T/s800/tumblr_a1151ce3c14ab0f8b870bc69c3f4346c_78e9c316_540.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="504" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiczcJhrtSYc57Ruse3GtZ5wN8WEJ7mYmOrFnSrj-D3Wl2ryDWhFQ2QH9-y4Pk2-9WZMK3V7jafIyLI12Pnm6e-j27ZJtg135OrmqyKiGHbdI49qqcz0AZ7QscE25epQOEqesCtxBt6bTLzxoO8xvE3xG1Oq0riHDyypa518-zcR5ay124ZSdwvAa4dDE3T/w404-h640/tumblr_a1151ce3c14ab0f8b870bc69c3f4346c_78e9c316_540.jpg" width="404" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">But, at the time I didn’t think about it in
terms of giving her some power over me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yet, clearly it did. At a minimum, it involved me giving her an
embarrassing insight into my psyche that wasn’t reciprocal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The confession alone, and the inequality in
our knowledge of each other that it invoked, was a first tentative step in elevating
her in the power hierarchy and taking me down a peg.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">As I observed to TB, it also
makes me wonder whether that kind of unilateral revelation and the power
dynamic it creates is at the root of many of our DD interests and fantasies,
including particularly “witnesses.” </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I've always known that a big driver of my
DD fascination was a deep-seated desire to give up control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, when I’ve thought about witnesses, I’ve
tended to focus on the acute embarrassment it would entail and not much about someone
else witnessing, or even just knowing about, a spanking inevitably involves giving
that other person a certain power over us. And, it’s not just that they might
say something to someone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Rather, the fact that they know this very personal thing about you kind
of elevates their power and diminishes yours vis-à-vis that relationship, doesn’t
it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">After a time I asked her
to explicitly link the spankings with behavior changes that she (and I) wanted
to see. I wrote out several versions of 'rules', we experimented with a
'points' system but eventually have settled on a set of general principles, a sort
of charter that we both use as a way of measuring how I have behaved and
whether a 'reset' is due. </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqMblIc9ZMBrWzhntbcOB_Bu4X5P5D9FQHNNNDOgwSp3_ewgeXBFO0AGYodKYC0Ie7Xp3BojcT6OqoCxbo7wdaCVBv7fPRi8JURTW7zuXSfkSLRHC5-XN6S_IlyuGEpWot4NzqnJHN5UiGIN-u5Xy1U36xNDO688JIBJZtBYf4ISOTitQhujqu_-q1_BIf/s590/tumblr_ol673vUmX31ulkwvdo1_1280.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="365" data-original-width="590" height="396" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqMblIc9ZMBrWzhntbcOB_Bu4X5P5D9FQHNNNDOgwSp3_ewgeXBFO0AGYodKYC0Ie7Xp3BojcT6OqoCxbo7wdaCVBv7fPRi8JURTW7zuXSfkSLRHC5-XN6S_IlyuGEpWot4NzqnJHN5UiGIN-u5Xy1U36xNDO688JIBJZtBYf4ISOTitQhujqu_-q1_BIf/w640-h396/tumblr_ol673vUmX31ulkwvdo1_1280.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">From the outset, we linked
spankings with behavior changes we both wanted to see, and initially the
approach was very rules-based before settling into something at least a bit
more generalized, like the “charter” TB describes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where we may differ is in the extent to which
it’s about a “reset.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Anne still tends
to spank mostly for specific offenses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There isn’t a lot of focus on using disciplinary spankings to more
generally reset the power dynamic. This ties into something else TB said about
the benefits of DD in his relationship: </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The key benefit for her is
a rebalance in our relationship - as she will often say, she now has the power
to stop me, to re-center me, to reset me any time needed. She says (and I
agree) that we are much closer now and puts a lot of it down to the 'need' that
I have exposed to her, the openness in my journal and hew ability to draw any
dispute to a close if necessary.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">For me I now have the
clear guidelines (or guardrails as Dan calls them) and some clear consequences
when I overstep. As a very goal driven personality having this clear 'target'
behavior', measures & consequences is very appealing. Tension builds in
most relationships for a variety of reasons - there is nothing quite like a
session with the strap to 'clear the air'!</span></i><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0rUa8UcK-rq9WPeJr1AjioYdm3KLOszWAAbkb4WCDAW03SBVoN41zlhXBI9XvLnvtYbG1BarUsLpvO6A9hI5wo8p622jCAxGhDgHR211luBv3ZNjJ5D3s-1qq3AYrz6eKpXH1EI_qhJjR-0gB179iSYcszqiqQjYey5WOTnzqCZc3aro5F346BsrpoQPm/s1280/tumblr_693c554553da5ed097a60b455bbf5db4_ede5def6_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="952" data-original-width="1280" height="475" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0rUa8UcK-rq9WPeJr1AjioYdm3KLOszWAAbkb4WCDAW03SBVoN41zlhXBI9XvLnvtYbG1BarUsLpvO6A9hI5wo8p622jCAxGhDgHR211luBv3ZNjJ5D3s-1qq3AYrz6eKpXH1EI_qhJjR-0gB179iSYcszqiqQjYey5WOTnzqCZc3aro5F346BsrpoQPm/w640-h475/tumblr_693c554553da5ed097a60b455bbf5db4_ede5def6_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Anne really doesn’t always
seem to be aware of—or at least she doesn’t focus enough on—her general
authority to<i> “stop me, to re-center me, to reset me any time needed.” </i>I
feel like she’s missing an opportunity, including to “clear the air.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we got back from our recent trip, we
clearly were getting on each other’s nerves after too many days in close quarters, to the point that she observed
that we “needed some space.” At that point, I probably was too irritated to respond well to a DD-oriented
“reset.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, a few days later, once we’d
both cooled off a little, I think it probably would have been beneficial for
both of us.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">It makes me curious, how
specific are the wives when it comes to reasons to spank? Setting something
pre-scheduled like “maintenance” aside, is it almost always for some specific
offense? Or, is it sometimes more generalized like TB’s “reset” or “re-centering”?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc1-KRIaML9rB-ORCycdp4hfoI876JE-Dlj-b_zAjDCtGdgru1MdJkfFXaoYS33Z0nNRW-d9eLTUJaAFdyzQrhC1NBRRrFPekjMkUUc3ExM4WUPbSgywRFq__Crew8bQaQctR-o-oAmsPn0kGXn99jIlmdWaoniYzPah17T-qT1PTxKf5tbKzBedYOuCqY/s607/tumblr_o76a5lo4q71ulkwvdo1_640.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="465" data-original-width="607" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc1-KRIaML9rB-ORCycdp4hfoI876JE-Dlj-b_zAjDCtGdgru1MdJkfFXaoYS33Z0nNRW-d9eLTUJaAFdyzQrhC1NBRRrFPekjMkUUc3ExM4WUPbSgywRFq__Crew8bQaQctR-o-oAmsPn0kGXn99jIlmdWaoniYzPah17T-qT1PTxKf5tbKzBedYOuCqY/w400-h306/tumblr_o76a5lo4q71ulkwvdo1_640.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Link that to our recent
development where I now explicitly 'own up' to failings and request that she
addresses them via a spanking has moved her sense of power and control (she
says) to a new level. If I miss anything she will point it out during the pre-spanking
'talk'.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I followed up on this,
because although I know in my heart I should confess bad behavior and even
request spankings as deserved, I generally don’t. And, while most of it is
because I suddenly don’t really want a spanking when I know one is coming, I also
do sometimes feel like requesting a spanking leaves me too much in control.
Yet, TB’s wife says him doing so gives her a new sense of power and control. He
explained further:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">The only behaviors that
she is interested in punishing me for are disrespect, moodiness, etc - so
behaviors that impact her directly. She is therefore aware of anything that I
'own up' to already (and would usually take action to address either as a specific
or as a general 'reset'). She does see that my recognizing & admitting to
the behavior before she takes action is another level of submission &
self-awareness. In fact, although we have only been using this approach for a
number of weeks, if I don't 'own up' to some failing that was obvious to both
of us, she will take extra spanking time to highlight that particular issue. A
virtuous circle of sorts in that I am encouraged to document my own failings
even though I am aware of the consequences, because if I don't there is a very
good chance that the next spanking session will be increased to cover the
omission.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15pt;">She is a big fan of the
new approach and she enjoys matching my journal view of my behavior with her
own recollections. She also feels that it takes some of the pressure off her in
deciding if/when a spanking is due. It helps me in that I dislike the delay
& uncertainty between offense & punishment - if punishment is due then
I am always keen to get it over and done with. My behavior has definitely been
better for the past few weeks, mainly because I now feel that if I misbehave I
have to submit a 'confession'.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">As I said, in theory tattling
on myself does leave me in control. Yet, what TB says resonates with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The plain fact is, one reason I don’t ask for
a spanking even when I know I deserve or “need” one is because doing so ramps
up the feeling of vulnerability. At the time, it certainly doesn't leave me <i>feeling </i>like I'm in control. And, I can see his wife’s point about how it
takes some of the pressure off her to decide whether a spanking is due.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">How do the wives feel about
this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is the husband’s confession and/or
asking for a deserved spanking empowering to you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In your mind, does it show an increased level
of acceptance of your authority over him? Does it take away some of the
decision-making pressure? Or, does it leave him with too much control over the
whole process?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></p><p>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s all I have for this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have a fun and safe Halloween! <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI6wp8MA3DY9oqvp0vo-1uXYm4KoDacl3oDnpN_qWiovNO-FArUcHQ0MroupqXq71VNb5usO2alfpRND0oF5m7TKaw4LWERi2qwtftl50qRZegtoJK0kiYgX47coQqu7ZMXcJY9J1ytcI8PuP1IUsOvEXvoUx40kvNEf6nYqwYAh7jNbEzJLSJNg8DdlXL/s990/250410211_308621704410766_944081225712045490_n-990x990.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="990" data-original-width="990" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI6wp8MA3DY9oqvp0vo-1uXYm4KoDacl3oDnpN_qWiovNO-FArUcHQ0MroupqXq71VNb5usO2alfpRND0oF5m7TKaw4LWERi2qwtftl50qRZegtoJK0kiYgX47coQqu7ZMXcJY9J1ytcI8PuP1IUsOvEXvoUx40kvNEf6nYqwYAh7jNbEzJLSJNg8DdlXL/w400-h400/250410211_308621704410766_944081225712045490_n-990x990.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<p></p><p><style>@font-face
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com150tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-12159228573118268422023-10-22T17:31:00.003-07:002023-10-22T17:31:48.630-07:00The Club - Meeting 456 - Costs and Benefits of Disciplinary Spankings and FLR Relationships<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Nowadays most people
die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that
the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.” ― Oscar Wilde, The
Picture of Dorian Gray</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and Female Led
(FLR) relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Before we get started, I
would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers, if
they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. While I’ve
always said the blog is open to both men and women, one of our commenters suggested
I expressly invite our female readers to join the discussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>try to be more expressly inviting in order to
get a little more female involvement.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6dEfCgG2Ljcmar8GUpSBe9ssoCz61XqpAT0xwoESZrgfvyqt_xXy0qbSbm_vo_8ef_Gexbn2CZNQLb_2rO70mazbb58mbZly-HYArPbkgawB-UE2ueXHJ6HLLSxUPzPPxmLD7cVQMJNJkeosN9-aaimNA1Lk_FMeR9Su8FlpoTi0kYFyByj4JpaI-jUzQ/s269/thESM4UJ96.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="206" data-original-width="269" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6dEfCgG2Ljcmar8GUpSBe9ssoCz61XqpAT0xwoESZrgfvyqt_xXy0qbSbm_vo_8ef_Gexbn2CZNQLb_2rO70mazbb58mbZly-HYArPbkgawB-UE2ueXHJ6HLLSxUPzPPxmLD7cVQMJNJkeosN9-aaimNA1Lk_FMeR9Su8FlpoTi0kYFyByj4JpaI-jUzQ/w400-h306/thESM4UJ96.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> <br /></span></div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you all had a great
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were on the road, which is
always a little grueling, though it was a fun trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There wasn’t any actual DD action during the trip,
though there was one incident that illustrated Anne escalating her strictness—or
at least her threats—steadily.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It was on the last day of the
trip, and we were pushing through a long drive home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anne has a problem with “back seat driving,”
and it was on fully display that day after taking a hiatus for a while. She kept
“reminding” me of the speed limit, even though while I often was speeding, it was
basically just going with the flow of at least the faster traffic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started throwing unmistakable signals that
the “reminders” were getting on my nerves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She responded with something along the lines of, “Fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can drive whatever speed you want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, if you get a ticket, I’m going to spank
your ass hard every single day for a week.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How did I respond?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I slowed down, reluctantly and
resentfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not to the speed limit, of
course, but to a speed that was pretty unlikely to get me ticketed.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7hWRPW53_zQ8nmQxSd677-SBUfgRtdsQkFEprZEztDYV-hKAygRWVkvfiA4nseUleHGjqURqQ95cq__ML1mvdpo8lPvFjN8XOtAdPSlms-EpjUW9XuPu2j4KTZ7MjFsl38DsNuFXKw6E9NYs8jKg5AZE6A3E-v-UbbZLaiYoTeHKhNgqmq57Y31fxPCtS/s483/Re78PC.png.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="483" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7hWRPW53_zQ8nmQxSd677-SBUfgRtdsQkFEprZEztDYV-hKAygRWVkvfiA4nseUleHGjqURqQ95cq__ML1mvdpo8lPvFjN8XOtAdPSlms-EpjUW9XuPu2j4KTZ7MjFsl38DsNuFXKw6E9NYs8jKg5AZE6A3E-v-UbbZLaiYoTeHKhNgqmq57Y31fxPCtS/w400-h398/Re78PC.png.webp" width="400" /></a></div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">So, her threat worked, even
if to me it does seem kind of like cutting off your nose to spite your face,
since the only thing slowing down really accomplished was to get us home even
later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, in the end, she got what she
wanted.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It also seemed to me to
illustrate something about “threat” and “warnings.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not really sure whether in those
circumstances a threat of a single spanking would have caused me to slow down
much. The odds of getting a ticket weren’t particularly high, and a single
spanking might have been an insufficient threat. But, when she raised the
stakes dramatically to a full week of daily spankings, THAT got my
attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvSPKz_Wp0a_2sQlUqmSRYx1iqOyIbCvw6v5A8srKrKNRyP4mgQp9MZmyLkXaBNa6PHh0szPPH1SnccgmMDwXtDur_YwqLIjJV3OJ6DTdTbAvd2BvMlucm5wXkhMSRBtDyj9DumB6ggqWUs4cscuFmblq1HXtoXRqvaX3dnnRmm4GDKEd4AoO7LlejgK1O/s400/emmasadvice.001%20came%20from%20Topspin's%20Graphics%20at%20otk_fms.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="400" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvSPKz_Wp0a_2sQlUqmSRYx1iqOyIbCvw6v5A8srKrKNRyP4mgQp9MZmyLkXaBNa6PHh0szPPH1SnccgmMDwXtDur_YwqLIjJV3OJ6DTdTbAvd2BvMlucm5wXkhMSRBtDyj9DumB6ggqWUs4cscuFmblq1HXtoXRqvaX3dnnRmm4GDKEd4AoO7LlejgK1O/w640-h480/emmasadvice.001%20came%20from%20Topspin's%20Graphics%20at%20otk_fms.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />Something else that might
have worked would be had she threatened to give me an immediate spanking in the
car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Severity, in the form of not just one or two but multiple spankings, clearly got my attention,
and immediacy might have done the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Without out one or both of those, I’m not really sure if my compliance
would have been the same. But, something that seems to be changing this year is her determination to ramp up the punishment to <i>whatever</i> is required.<br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Anyway, thanks to everyone
for keeping the conversation going again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I almost didn’t post again today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I just wasn’t in the mood and wasn’t feeling the inspiration. But, I
felt like not posting was becoming a habit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, I looked at some of the recent topic suggestions and started thinking
about how to approach it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Within a few
minutes, I went from being not in a DD mood at all to thinking about how, even
though I was pretty good on our trip, there certainly were certain things that
happened during the week that might merit a session over her knee.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">The topic I landed on was a
very straightforward and simple one from Norton. A couple of weeks ago, he suggested:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It
occurs to me, since I just wrote about it, that another topic could be about
the benefits and costs for you and your wife practicing this kind of lifestyle.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">While we have comments about costs
and benefits of these lifestyles virtually every week, sometimes it’s good to give
these “big picture” issues some focused attention. I also think that while we
often talk about the benefits of DD, we don’t often talk about what it costs,
and we often seem to assume that it has no costs for our wives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, let’s talk a bit directly about our
respective cost-benefit analyses.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">For me, the primary benefit
of domestic discipline lies in establishing boundaries and guardrails, which I’m
not always great at imposing on myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I readily admit that I have a personality that is prone to
excesses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC_vwQ0OBuTGPRFUhA3aG9vDrajYIc03BT-QngkpvIozP4unKDvfB1TBXUMRUIeXYv210LhGQ7G-iDr7dmqhGa_Z68e-bLxQJiofhW1U1_rRIbidWGL_a5qiR-IseO-EXNtuKQDZpZFUAzRogq-f-TfNFgsd9MZx0S0k07TTuSpWVI8k5ncqvOB3rzGbHJ/s720/tumblr_4532a4400e0feadb59d31d3002351a23_c9787413_640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="579" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC_vwQ0OBuTGPRFUhA3aG9vDrajYIc03BT-QngkpvIozP4unKDvfB1TBXUMRUIeXYv210LhGQ7G-iDr7dmqhGa_Z68e-bLxQJiofhW1U1_rRIbidWGL_a5qiR-IseO-EXNtuKQDZpZFUAzRogq-f-TfNFgsd9MZx0S0k07TTuSpWVI8k5ncqvOB3rzGbHJ/w514-h640/tumblr_4532a4400e0feadb59d31d3002351a23_c9787413_640.jpg" width="514" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">And, I don’t always do a good
job of anticipating more abstract consequences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kind of like our “discussion” about my speeding during our trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anne calculated the odds of getting caught
differently than I did, and then she amped up the possible consequences way beyond
the monetary cost of a speeding ticket.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Relatedly, having someone
impose boundaries and guardrails balances me out emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A personality that gravitates toward extremes
can be inherently stressful and intense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am convinced that our close to 20 years of DD has done at least as
much to help bring some balance to my psyche as meditation ever has.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s probably no coincidence that I discovered
both DD and mindfulness meditation at about the same point in my life as, for
me, they address much the same temperamental and personality issues.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Then there is the erotic
feelings that DD arouses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While in most
of my life I am about as anti-authoritarian as you are ever going to encounter,
there clearly is some part of me that gravitates HARD toward a maternal style
of imposed discipline and toward being taken outside of my comfort zone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Near the end of last week’s topic, ZM, GH and
I talked a little about the need for “authenticity” and how, for me, that means
I have a strong desire to be taken to a mental/emotional state where I am not
in control and where someone else decides what consequences I will face for
behavior that they THEY decide is an issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">The speeding thing is, again,
a great example.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not see the speeding
as a problem and, frankly, still don’t. But, Anne decided that it was a problem
for her, and then she figured out how to MAKE it a problem for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I like her decision?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Definitely not in the moment. I resented it
and continued to resent it every mile for the rest of that trip – miles in
which I complied with her wishes about appropriate speed not because I agreed
with her but because she laid down a rule in a way that demonstrated that she
didn’t really care whether I agreed with her or not.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">At its core, there is
something incredibly parental about your spouse deciding for you what you will
care about and being willing to make you pay a painful price if you do not
accept the rule they have laid down.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Indirectly, I’m sure that over
the years I’ve benefited from DD in the form of better physical and mental
health. Given some of my excesses, had trends from 20 years ago continued
unchecked, it probably wouldn’t have been pretty.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">So, are there costs
associated with DD?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course there are,
and for me they tend to be the flipside of the benefits that <i>both </i>Anne
and I receive.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I ran across the captioned spanking
meme just a few days ago, and it seemed to me to sum up very succinctly the
paradox of the cost-benefit trade-offs these relationships entail:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqqK5oqeIntD9ePzaPCJAvenWMEmHL85M4pdigeNJWYbtTl5EBWgUqI82v462YXiwHkUshW1p8hxktsZURIQWo0So0R8RtNUrc9YFRNFat0Fn4QBvDrBlNfMx-ffdMVtPBT780SPv369jU6b2h1BnqLss8pWDhy4kiaIDcjg8eJQKdLmfUJ-OY0BfLkpX7/s576/tumblr_140cff45b64a0c8a404a446fd29dc1ee_0e5e53b2_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqqK5oqeIntD9ePzaPCJAvenWMEmHL85M4pdigeNJWYbtTl5EBWgUqI82v462YXiwHkUshW1p8hxktsZURIQWo0So0R8RtNUrc9YFRNFat0Fn4QBvDrBlNfMx-ffdMVtPBT780SPv369jU6b2h1BnqLss8pWDhy4kiaIDcjg8eJQKdLmfUJ-OY0BfLkpX7/w556-h640/tumblr_140cff45b64a0c8a404a446fd29dc1ee_0e5e53b2_500.jpg" width="556" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This year in particular, as
Anne has ramped up her control, it’s been driven home to me over and over again
that when I’m liking our regimen the least is exactly when it is doing its best work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There have been multiple times
over this year when she’s given me a hard lecture and harder spanking that I
really, truly did not want or sometimes even agree with.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">But, the ill feelings those
brought out at the time were the also the closest I’ve come to the “authenticity”
ZM talked about last week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those
incidents were authentic precisely because, at least at the time, there was
nothing erotic about them and, instead, they represented instances of her
imposing her will at times or in ways when I very much did <i>not </i>like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, authenticity is perhaps the most
real “cost” that “real” DD imposes, even if it is simultaneously something many
of us crave.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">There is also a cost to me
that varies directly in proportion to one of the biggest benefits Anne
receives, namely the ability to communicate to me directly and concretely her dissatisfaction.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFAdWh_sGKZSzBlueBzu7Frtan6Fp3lAdf2XqYeJYhFCP3wedJEvs-cqHdq0Vmyu922i0nEB92QiirPfNircvjl5Wc-ur5lrGH3r52cakWhpxlscPcFUz_grVEoXJGog4afQXJ9w44pgFGwJy4jE2C_Adwk3fd5Tifp0nsjONOeoysmOc-Z6vtO3mo55Fw/s672/tumblr_o0pk8nUcro1ulkwvdo1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="518" data-original-width="672" height="494" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFAdWh_sGKZSzBlueBzu7Frtan6Fp3lAdf2XqYeJYhFCP3wedJEvs-cqHdq0Vmyu922i0nEB92QiirPfNircvjl5Wc-ur5lrGH3r52cakWhpxlscPcFUz_grVEoXJGog4afQXJ9w44pgFGwJy4jE2C_Adwk3fd5Tifp0nsjONOeoysmOc-Z6vtO3mo55Fw/w640-h494/tumblr_o0pk8nUcro1ulkwvdo1_1280.png" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I do get a better sense of balance
and psychic well-being from having guardrails imposed. There also are psychic
benefits involved in behaving better and not causing problems for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, the cost of that improvement is the most
straightforward cost of all – hard, painful punishments that lead me to want to
walk the straight and narrow more often.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Perhaps the hardest “cost”
associated with the more FLR-oriented aspects of our relationship is being
truly, genuinely, kept under someone else’s control and being subject to their
decision-making authority. It all is fodder for so many fantasies . . . right
up until she exercises her authority in a way you truly do not like.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA38HaDT6RBPZlKYXWyl-uPihge9Dgjkl0vQ09kSFEoXbhvjUZYDbp8fCKmRn_dgzwWKGXw8vlr_cb4vB67CFqXeMWmpodpRBBEVo_6AhuEOxQ-26yrJCcj0FJ47wWJEx5uGddVEpBhNEdNm_j5bfFxO-hBvhzvDlspEQDNp6akkyBe37_m5OGNUihwTI7/s736/tumblr_038e321217f3cd9f8cc892847367e8d8_ccda988b_640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="736" data-original-width="608" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA38HaDT6RBPZlKYXWyl-uPihge9Dgjkl0vQ09kSFEoXbhvjUZYDbp8fCKmRn_dgzwWKGXw8vlr_cb4vB67CFqXeMWmpodpRBBEVo_6AhuEOxQ-26yrJCcj0FJ47wWJEx5uGddVEpBhNEdNm_j5bfFxO-hBvhzvDlspEQDNp6akkyBe37_m5OGNUihwTI7/w528-h640/tumblr_038e321217f3cd9f8cc892847367e8d8_ccda988b_640.jpg" width="528" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Even my fantasies of being
taken far beyond what I think I can take, and in a way that feels as close as
we can get to non-consensual, have the inevitable cost of, by definition, being
taken there by virtue of <i>her </i>decision, not mine.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx0JET-JjTiaudqGbnLpl11xynQ5WQFP67i9XSdW-aE_Y52q6AZasRe76Ed7VDZ-Ld5YWhtLHP76pwvoMBq4GtaLYguEioA2dR6ppilJLAeJoE2Z2srdYS8lIHIN0V37kpCoZzZrhV9k4YXzO81ugkHM1rvNNQ8WQmSvOraQ0e0MW7C_N5iq-boX8ue3hs/s400/tumblr_4bae612e6f4efde3968e58de712a1ec2_1011c32b_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="329" data-original-width="400" height="329" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx0JET-JjTiaudqGbnLpl11xynQ5WQFP67i9XSdW-aE_Y52q6AZasRe76Ed7VDZ-Ld5YWhtLHP76pwvoMBq4GtaLYguEioA2dR6ppilJLAeJoE2Z2srdYS8lIHIN0V37kpCoZzZrhV9k4YXzO81ugkHM1rvNNQ8WQmSvOraQ0e0MW7C_N5iq-boX8ue3hs/w400-h329/tumblr_4bae612e6f4efde3968e58de712a1ec2_1011c32b_1280.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><br /> Anne obviously gets the
benefits of having a better-behaved husband and getting her way more often.
But, are there costs?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure there are
or have been in the past.<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Anne was one of those wives
who took to the DD relationship I asked for far easier than I feared she might.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still, I think it took a while before she
really embraced the authority and power. Today, I suspect this captioned meme
sums up how she feels most of the time:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8isRk7lYdKIfv6MZ8qAjM_jtexQW4BxfzssKj5Y8zZA5RTNSrRl51Ps3cnSlf-Fc3ZxG9NpoidShbA0nu7nJI701FMjooZlVbmcL6dKktZLZhodFD76S_Ept-80zjd0-Y8FrqpVcqqBycyEF8_q30FzKffhFpx8ppPpdcTCUDkWrtqIT_prHFWk_gYAn/s696/tumblr_9b6e232162698bde58368181e1d865f7_655dd109_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="696" data-original-width="696" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8isRk7lYdKIfv6MZ8qAjM_jtexQW4BxfzssKj5Y8zZA5RTNSrRl51Ps3cnSlf-Fc3ZxG9NpoidShbA0nu7nJI701FMjooZlVbmcL6dKktZLZhodFD76S_Ept-80zjd0-Y8FrqpVcqqBycyEF8_q30FzKffhFpx8ppPpdcTCUDkWrtqIT_prHFWk_gYAn/w640-h640/tumblr_9b6e232162698bde58368181e1d865f7_655dd109_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">She has told me that she gets
off giving me orders or imposing limits, especially when my reaction makes it
clear that I really dislike complying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
also think that, while she is not a sadist, she gets that spankings must hurt
to be effective and, for that reason, she <i>wants </i>them to hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think she probably gets off on the whole
thing more than she sometimes lets on, and I <i>know </i>she gets off on making
me feel nervous and vulnerable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I do think one cost
associated with exercising control is learning to lead and to do so
responsibly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not easy being in
charge, even if it may have a lot of benefits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I suspect it sometimes seems like a duty or obligation.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-4LGC8LMaVlE7RkoiFJMHnIeKVUiB9QamLpMLXIpbe1i8ZHmOdwmpQuFAfbeyMkA3QjFiXvJwjAVnrdx0RnHZ56m3LOYCco898UQnaCAjaQWZcw6uLMuwv6_NV6aRIRZqUN8ZPyMe6eahOAV3T1cJW3qJZtWJfXorw_vEJXDGACL9ypvLMW-wEP7BLido/s400/0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="400" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-4LGC8LMaVlE7RkoiFJMHnIeKVUiB9QamLpMLXIpbe1i8ZHmOdwmpQuFAfbeyMkA3QjFiXvJwjAVnrdx0RnHZ56m3LOYCco898UQnaCAjaQWZcw6uLMuwv6_NV6aRIRZqUN8ZPyMe6eahOAV3T1cJW3qJZtWJfXorw_vEJXDGACL9ypvLMW-wEP7BLido/w400-h398/0.png" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I do know that she sometimes
struggles with the simple logistics of figuring out how to make time for a
spanking in the midst of a busy day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s
told me that when she does think of DD, it’s often in the context of figuring
out when to announce one is coming and how to fit it into whatever else she has
going on.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How about you? What benefits
do you get from your DD and FLR relationships? What are the costs
involved?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Ladies, what benefits do you
get from imposing painful consequences on your husband or from exercising more authority
than you might in a traditional marriage? Are there costs associated with those
benefits, or is it all upside?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there
are trade-offs, are they worth it?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Have a great week.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoX8qPVDQ8m5cAgxE3clPL82AX7UtUHUu3vOEcAIFUEzxMlVK66UMrdMQ08mIHQW77DRLYf6R1mp9_qPrU4-_m-Vdwq2zstMg6Yxw9qXjcz1_vyDr6UQD_tazVKjwmg3ijLB4MTHd1YkXoQxgNYZfxRFO2RaieIAN6wSQGqarwbrywWaqwFWM6fvASFah7/s640/5c52b2d347502ff67879bbfe630e4f59.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoX8qPVDQ8m5cAgxE3clPL82AX7UtUHUu3vOEcAIFUEzxMlVK66UMrdMQ08mIHQW77DRLYf6R1mp9_qPrU4-_m-Vdwq2zstMg6Yxw9qXjcz1_vyDr6UQD_tazVKjwmg3ijLB4MTHd1YkXoQxgNYZfxRFO2RaieIAN6wSQGqarwbrywWaqwFWM6fvASFah7/w640-h640/5c52b2d347502ff67879bbfe630e4f59.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com79tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-31772926316638115172023-10-17T13:50:00.002-07:002023-10-17T13:50:09.341-07:00No New Post This Week (Probably)<p>Hi all. I hope you all had a good week. Thanks for your insightful comments on crying, among other things.</p><p>Anne and I just got back from a trip, and I find myself lacking both energy and inspiration. Therefore, I don't have a topic in mind for this week. If there is anything any of you would like to discuss, feel free to try to get a topic rolling.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMw2pP_5WlpXUrBRmH4EpxlZPaCoXTkm4dGan6AecfcW1RpiJczaeR30wH7WIvwZxDx-Y1cggxzWSVh4I49LC2BYigdQlvRKYbLwhCbY4iAHEO9qaxA1UEqy1_YiqhfzIZqo8KCXAxKpo_6EY1yPgB0JjNyL3lDAXLDRbDNqbrf0xvM69xYSII50tc1um_/s925/dirty_mind_come_here_640_high_03.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="925" data-original-width="740" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMw2pP_5WlpXUrBRmH4EpxlZPaCoXTkm4dGan6AecfcW1RpiJczaeR30wH7WIvwZxDx-Y1cggxzWSVh4I49LC2BYigdQlvRKYbLwhCbY4iAHEO9qaxA1UEqy1_YiqhfzIZqo8KCXAxKpo_6EY1yPgB0JjNyL3lDAXLDRbDNqbrf0xvM69xYSII50tc1um_/w512-h640/dirty_mind_come_here_640_high_03.jpeg" width="512" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com78tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-88060596766242159442023-10-09T13:36:00.003-07:002023-10-09T13:36:39.947-07:00The Club - Meeting 455 - Verbalizing, Tears, Letting Go and Accepting One's Place<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">"I was better
after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude,
more gentle.” - Charles Dickens from Great Expectations</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Before we get started, I
would again like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers to
move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. It’s been too long since we heard
from women who are either in F/m domestic discipline or Female Led
Relationships, or positively interested in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please think about joining in.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeD30rk3VJ0QJeE46UUsKRUWLqZ6vBIDEndSQor2FtehoTrdeglbEGsO2GGTiVRR6bBJ1N5qJ4CdEAdhhKim6lI8xr6YmeNztYQvKlFmoBPPiICOBZaTzVORy2c4Edz99v3GyUrzY5mXADlB0MeS44nm4RJQY2Y93OoFnMHsE32-6gxXJGQYlJ0M1DDJHX/s320/mwbcens5yks31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="288" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeD30rk3VJ0QJeE46UUsKRUWLqZ6vBIDEndSQor2FtehoTrdeglbEGsO2GGTiVRR6bBJ1N5qJ4CdEAdhhKim6lI8xr6YmeNztYQvKlFmoBPPiICOBZaTzVORy2c4Edz99v3GyUrzY5mXADlB0MeS44nm4RJQY2Y93OoFnMHsE32-6gxXJGQYlJ0M1DDJHX/w576-h640/mwbcens5yks31.jpg" width="576" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Can I just say, I really, really
love this time of year!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other than
Christmas, Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I just love this entire
season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent yesterday afternoon
putting up Halloween lawn decorations, though the woman across the street beat
me to it, as usual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, our
travel early in the month threw me off a bit, and I feel like I’m a little late
to the party. And, there is still work left to do, like getting pumpkins.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Wcjc5109unT4mE_BTIRewM_tIe-AZuJozEsC6UFvOzdmb2GvGrH1Xj0TeIz1nHH7A3IXxUbsjKGnmhoDCE4aqWyp2nOkfONadqkwuwYNW4z0rh3z8twV2DZFRAf9qztO-8Tnlo_X635Rv8vkLB74E8jktym59vJN3ve-CKCLQOtYrzQPpI8Cwk6x9Agp/s1812/tumblr_5ca1f1c581f85b933fdcdb9f51a3ac65_7cfa258b_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1812" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Wcjc5109unT4mE_BTIRewM_tIe-AZuJozEsC6UFvOzdmb2GvGrH1Xj0TeIz1nHH7A3IXxUbsjKGnmhoDCE4aqWyp2nOkfONadqkwuwYNW4z0rh3z8twV2DZFRAf9qztO-8Tnlo_X635Rv8vkLB74E8jktym59vJN3ve-CKCLQOtYrzQPpI8Cwk6x9Agp/w424-h640/tumblr_5ca1f1c581f85b933fdcdb9f51a3ac65_7cfa258b_1280.jpg" width="424" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Speaking of being late, just
an FYI, we are traveling again later this week and won’t be back until early
next week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do plan to post but
probably won’t get to it until Tuesday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I know that my posting schedule is getting less predictable, but I think
that’s likely to be the new norm. My post-retirement schedule is more flexible,
but we finally seem to be getting into a more adventurous groove in which more
of that flexible time is spent traveling, which means blogging will be fitted
in more flexibly, though hopefully without a big drop in frequency.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I thought we had a good discussion
last week about telling others about our DD relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though, Alan kind of summed up my own
thoughts, and added some “what if” food for thought/fantasy:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I
am somewhat surprised by the comments indicating reluctance or reticence in
discussing TTWD with other males who have been identified as in, experiencing
or otherwise understanding or understanding F/M discipline. In fact, one of my
unfulfilled fantasies is to be seriously disciplined together with another male
under female authority his wife and my wife both acting as independent
disciplinarians.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">There
are probably many causes of this fantasy including seeing how another DD couple
handle discipline But I think a major reason for the fantasy is the opportunity
to have conversation and possibly friendship with a male who has the same
emotions, desires and experiences I have had. I have shared much of that with
my wife (and earlier with my former GF) but seeing another male under
discipline or him seeing me might presage an openness and vulnerability very
different from that experienced with the opposite sex.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This
may be one of those fantasies better left in fantasia. And if it actually was
fulfilled, the experience could be very different from the fantasy. However, I
think the benefits of being in face to face, person to person zoom-less
connection with another male under his wife’s authority would end up a very
positive experience.</span></i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> <br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvcXNL_gSCzLCfxYlvfFw9wWSl42ljSEPs5tzM6ieJOXPo3CpF2y5NpzdPZ3P5jUJyjezUwFCWuC9h5eIE1RGCeg1Dst3YiF8e4DUA_tDRsVgdY9a56m1PRTjTZz0rhpY9mcrps610e0jp0amTI-irBt5BUsMU-tcazEVx57Awxt2HovSO-a30NoRKIyu4/s825/tumblr_piunpmO20l1xwdn53o4_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="825" data-original-width="738" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvcXNL_gSCzLCfxYlvfFw9wWSl42ljSEPs5tzM6ieJOXPo3CpF2y5NpzdPZ3P5jUJyjezUwFCWuC9h5eIE1RGCeg1Dst3YiF8e4DUA_tDRsVgdY9a56m1PRTjTZz0rhpY9mcrps610e0jp0amTI-irBt5BUsMU-tcazEVx57Awxt2HovSO-a30NoRKIyu4/w358-h400/tumblr_piunpmO20l1xwdn53o4_1280.jpeg" width="358" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I share some of Alan’s
surprise that, while some were open to telling others about this lifestyle,
there was also a lot of resistance to talking openly to anyone about it,
particularly other males.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Admittedly,
while I’m open to it in theory, in practice I haven’t done much to open myself
up that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It’s also probably one
reason why I haven’t tried more diligently to try to morph this group into
something more truly DWC-like. I’m not quite sure how Aunt Kay, Jerry and
others built a real face-to-face community around this thing we do, when so
many of us are so resistant to that kind of openness, but somehow they did.
Maybe it was just a more open, experimental time?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the surface, we’ve become more tolerant of
kink, but so much of it is consumed on-line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maybe solo access actually inhibits group participation?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hard to say.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This week’s topic extends,
for me, from one of ZM’s comments last week regarding “memorable” spankings:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Another
very significant and memorable one was when she spanked me to tears. She has
spanked me sort-of to tears other times, where I was on the verge or perhaps
beginning to cry, but this one was different. I had had several bouts of bad
attitude, and she informed me beforehand that I was going to be spanked, and it
would continue until I was in tears. The combination of her telling me
beforehand that the spanking would only end with me in tears, a horrible Delrin
cane, and her employing the diaper position definitely did the trick. She
stopped spanking shortly after I began crying. She said she would have liked to
go longer, but it was hard to see me cry. I kind of have a feeling that if we
get to this point again, she would be more comfortable pressing on with it.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">While he’s related that story
before, it came up in a conversation between Anne and I, and it could lead to
another of those milestone moments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maybe.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6IGt3eHlZs_rDIi8lImQgAwsgghmdfnMt7sk68zrgN2hTseIzAUGUmPEENaZ65YeGkkzoNLlUUkbWRWzo6ox1KVjX7HUifc8B5IIUbycTBLhagkHGrIqFKwjvOVWNmVrEVgCAXUhyphenhyphenCB3DAU_BIfIUI03lqMxn9kJUBnYPrZcHbpfMnroWIyQalN0Cb0YS/s867/tumblr_4be1341cb2b58b07ffbd0fd323339e0e_e9dd9641_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="602" data-original-width="867" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6IGt3eHlZs_rDIi8lImQgAwsgghmdfnMt7sk68zrgN2hTseIzAUGUmPEENaZ65YeGkkzoNLlUUkbWRWzo6ox1KVjX7HUifc8B5IIUbycTBLhagkHGrIqFKwjvOVWNmVrEVgCAXUhyphenhyphenCB3DAU_BIfIUI03lqMxn9kJUBnYPrZcHbpfMnroWIyQalN0Cb0YS/w400-h278/tumblr_4be1341cb2b58b07ffbd0fd323339e0e_e9dd9641_1280.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">A couple of weeks ago, some
of us here posted spanking videos that seemed sort of plausible or similar to
the kind of disciplinary spankings we received. Something that jumped out at me
was that most of the recipients were a lot more vocal than I am while being
spanked.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">When being spanked, I
definitely trend toward the stoic end of the spectrum. While I do exclaim, gasp,
and groan, I don’t really use words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t say how hard it hurts, or how I can’t take it, or ask her to stop.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Some women may like it that
way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, one of the first stories I
ever read on the Disciplinary Wives Club website, entitled <i>Pretty Legs II, </i>involved
one disciplinary wife disciplining another wife’s husband and becoming
exasperated that he was “crying and begging for mercy” and couldn’t “even take
his spanking like a man.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Yet, while vocalizing may on
the surface seem like a form of resistance, I think on some level trying to
stay stoic is, at least for me, absolutely a subtle way of resisting
authority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">One of my biggest emotional
attractions to domestic discipline was the prospect of having to give up
control but, the reality is, twenty years into this I still find ways to maintain
that control, and one of them probably is trying to “man up” while being
spanked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as I don’t vocalize how
badly it hurts and how much I wish it would stop or, worse yet, let her bring
me to tears, then I’m not really giving in to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a very subtle form of control, but
control nonetheless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimDz8EEXltw1hYXlAnvWh_-lWjQQiCkfj_XGLlMBAs3R1hgs_JZ6bU-ywlXBx2KwUeUExU1D9TAPhiJJtXwlfRxoo9TlIjVPksYuKSatc40lK-2SI6obaex4dlauKkoyjbZ1FlVS9myELaFJg6TTchKCelZxPvFVqaWNWpcT9X3ksxUv_6D_u1_jYaV9h5/s817/tumblr_8d802adb7058cceecd8c334bc3a666b7_3ec087e2_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="508" data-original-width="817" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimDz8EEXltw1hYXlAnvWh_-lWjQQiCkfj_XGLlMBAs3R1hgs_JZ6bU-ywlXBx2KwUeUExU1D9TAPhiJJtXwlfRxoo9TlIjVPksYuKSatc40lK-2SI6obaex4dlauKkoyjbZ1FlVS9myELaFJg6TTchKCelZxPvFVqaWNWpcT9X3ksxUv_6D_u1_jYaV9h5/w640-h398/tumblr_8d802adb7058cceecd8c334bc3a666b7_3ec087e2_1280.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">ZM’s post came up in my conversation
with Anne, because after the “videos” post I told her that I was thinking about
trying to let myself go verbally a bit during, and maybe even before spankings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It could take many forms. Maybe, instead of
trying to delay spankings in my usually passive way, I come right out and ask tell
her I’m afraid to be spanked and ask her not to. As long as she knows that she
absolutely should NOT let me out of it, it allows me to own up more to what I’m
actually feeling and gives her a chance to express her authority by reinforcing
verbally that I am, in fact, going to be spanked whether I like it or not.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Similarly, crying out during
a spanking about how much it hurts, telling her I can’t take any more, begging
her to stop, all might be more honest and open than my usual stoicism, while
again giving her a chance to take more demand by not giving into my pleas and, in
fact, letting me know that it’s going to keep going and going.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Anne’s reaction to the prospect
of me being more verbal was quite positive. She said it would be an indication that she was doing a really good job and that I was really learning a lesson.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDfCDChmkHsATk_GkxXkeYmJAIsL8JRpa74hvaAEyCcX2lD7DB26x6fT9BszYFofwoutVgaH5OF6XGY7caJ4n_zEjxYeJOrjIikr3UpeqYOC4rrN7hiouo61ol_Xzia99kuN7tFJhfbKDtyVgg9AGEB02-JjZvQ2nC_xDVBUo5pf267SFBXvKOcqc2WSEh/s666/tumblr_34d85fe1b4e0dbdffd970704e3f4da76_0de6ad4b_540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="540" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDfCDChmkHsATk_GkxXkeYmJAIsL8JRpa74hvaAEyCcX2lD7DB26x6fT9BszYFofwoutVgaH5OF6XGY7caJ4n_zEjxYeJOrjIikr3UpeqYOC4rrN7hiouo61ol_Xzia99kuN7tFJhfbKDtyVgg9AGEB02-JjZvQ2nC_xDVBUo5pf267SFBXvKOcqc2WSEh/w518-h640/tumblr_34d85fe1b4e0dbdffd970704e3f4da76_0de6ad4b_540.jpg" width="518" /></a></div><br /> She also said that she thought it would
help humble me. I asked whether that was one of her express goals, and she didn't hesitate in saying that it is.<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Which brought us to . . .
crying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There have been times I have gotten
close to real tears, but I always “man up” in the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ZM’s wife got around that by making it clear
that the spanking would not be over until he cried real tears.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Anne has never given me that
kind of ultimatum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, I’ve always
gotten the sense that she was kind of reluctant to take me to that point, maybe
because of her own reaction.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This time, however, when I
talked about ZM’s story, including that his wife <i>did</i> find it hard to see
him cry, she seemed much more open to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She said she wasn’t sure whether she would, in fact, find it that hard
to see me cry as long as she thought the conduct that led to the spanking merited
a spanking to tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2GMTO6InaU1OrHHcoNxRxJp0-LX2wQ1kyEUZvTJ_jOTnH39mG2W6kcw1vseno9nGmJ6QH4JBgNPrszggM0CU7IOXUxrPfaOylG6wxRonQ_jY0cHJgtdZffJ0sf6lz0E4aX-mlauV2a3yLayE9Dn7TqhulZBr6jzj3zDjcTM3SpXbZG8QSB6TgqhtNJPLh/s721/tumblr_a827813fb67731f9926a9549ce49442c_b8ac847e_1280.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="372" data-original-width="721" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2GMTO6InaU1OrHHcoNxRxJp0-LX2wQ1kyEUZvTJ_jOTnH39mG2W6kcw1vseno9nGmJ6QH4JBgNPrszggM0CU7IOXUxrPfaOylG6wxRonQ_jY0cHJgtdZffJ0sf6lz0E4aX-mlauV2a3yLayE9Dn7TqhulZBr6jzj3zDjcTM3SpXbZG8QSB6TgqhtNJPLh/w640-h330/tumblr_a827813fb67731f9926a9549ce49442c_b8ac847e_1280.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">She acknowledged
that, given the way I’m wired, an “until you cry real tears” spanking could
take a LONG time, possibly involving an hours-long effort with multiple
sessions separated by breaks for any numbing to recede.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I acknowledged that might be the case, though
I’m not sure it necessarily would.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
think if she were to emulate ZM’s wife and announce up front that it would go
on and on and on until I cried real tears, that might cut off my “man up”
instincts in their tracks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">The odd thing is, none of
this seemed to phase her, while she used to be quite skittish about the subject<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What has changed? I’m not sure, but overall
she just seems less concerned than she used to be about me suffering substantial
embarrassment or other negative consequences on top of the spankings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> A lot of the memes I see about embarrassment and crying involve the wife assuring the husband that it's not something to be embarrassed about.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwWQXqrGmo9t3ea8ySBXfQ6wSqBiH1LxEOTCCqBBCXY7Z-ZaZCTf9QzgeRxCkQgOPSG1l0wGmd-GJhZP9U2uDmujcs0UdMOeNjJguYgGJU5iu6qqtKiv07yVCzPre-HC9KWwVClPGPymWK3KlNUj8Aan_OF7lstvk-I-qQyZzdbr5HD-KPWYEynW8B80v9/s675/tumblr_c1b357d35744b70e993ae187e6cac6fa_d8143671_540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="540" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwWQXqrGmo9t3ea8ySBXfQ6wSqBiH1LxEOTCCqBBCXY7Z-ZaZCTf9QzgeRxCkQgOPSG1l0wGmd-GJhZP9U2uDmujcs0UdMOeNjJguYgGJU5iu6qqtKiv07yVCzPre-HC9KWwVClPGPymWK3KlNUj8Aan_OF7lstvk-I-qQyZzdbr5HD-KPWYEynW8B80v9/w512-h640/tumblr_c1b357d35744b70e993ae187e6cac6fa_d8143671_540.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><br />I don't think that's Anne's present attitude at all. Instead, I think maybe she's inching toward become more like KOJ's wife (I miss him, by the way) who, in retirement, started caring less and less about asserting her authority openly even if it embarrassed him. To the point of taking him to a private room for a spanking during a busy party.<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">It’s in-line with, for example Anne's sudden determination to
leave window shades open when spanking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some reason, she’s simply stopped caring as much if someone sees and
I get embarrassed. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Or, if she lectures me strongly and I get embarrassed or
temporarily resentful. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Or, if she gives me a much harder spanking than I think
the situation deserved (as happened a few days ago). </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Or, possible, if she spanks me until
I cry mortifying tears.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I did tell her that we both might
need to be prepared that bringing me to real tears, after all these years of
DD, might work a really fundamental change in our relationship that might be hard
to predict in advance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her that I
can’t imagine that it <i>wouldn’t </i>leave me feeling like there was a very
substantial shift in the hierarchy, with me feeling in a very concrete way that
my position was firmly under her.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">We’ve talked a lot about
tears in this forum over the years, and people can respond to this post with
any thoughts they may have about the subject. But, I hope at least a few people
who have experienced it can tell me, am I right to assume that letting go and
really crying during a spanking is, in fact, humbling on a whole different
level? That it likely will reset the power dynamic in a pretty fundamental way?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That the relationship likely will feel
fundamentally different afterward, with her more firmly in charge? Is it likely
to make the spanking feel even more maternal?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">If any of our female readers
are inclined to weigh in, have you experienced your husband crying real tears
from a spanking? What was your emotional reaction to that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it something you wanted to happen?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it maybe even a turn-on to do it, or to consider doing it? If it hasn’t happened, do you want it to?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFJEvVLw2Y43IbAYE0_tIwTgbKPbe_PpfyM1EfrkZGTvXr0NLZCKCyUxmoEJ-l2ot3NuS17tbmK9Cd8nc-fbulTlsBMNkJsxDMWu_i9Csx_PelMbQs58wqW98r03oQ_XfTYJRxy3hpz4YI3HuXwcLxEvwfKkgnStXjivOzpO7W5O4r0opyGi4JPGxmia1J/s975/tumblr_a429b8b5d2c7bda2260b28f6e73caf9b_908892d9_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="975" data-original-width="820" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFJEvVLw2Y43IbAYE0_tIwTgbKPbe_PpfyM1EfrkZGTvXr0NLZCKCyUxmoEJ-l2ot3NuS17tbmK9Cd8nc-fbulTlsBMNkJsxDMWu_i9Csx_PelMbQs58wqW98r03oQ_XfTYJRxy3hpz4YI3HuXwcLxEvwfKkgnStXjivOzpO7W5O4r0opyGi4JPGxmia1J/w538-h640/tumblr_a429b8b5d2c7bda2260b28f6e73caf9b_908892d9_1280.jpg" width="538" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Have a great week, and happy October!</span>
</p><p><style>@font-face
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com77tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-12475051270242334262023-10-02T16:51:00.001-07:002023-10-02T16:51:23.373-07:00The Club - Meeting 454 - Telling Others and How Most Recent Spankings Compare<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">If we are not ashamed
to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it. - Marcus Tullius Cicero</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Hello all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples
Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our weekly meeting of men and
women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline relationships.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Before we get started, I
would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers, if
they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. While I’ve
always said the blog is open to both men and women, one of our commenters
suggested I expressly invite our female readers to join the discussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>try to be more expressly inviting in order to
get a little more female involvement. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you all had a great
week during my absence. We were traveling, which usually is a virtual guarantee
that I’m in for a spanking, since any form of travel seems to bring out the
worst it me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgydjfTvzb8m8LmuEsCrtfo7GquAWBUI6CgNear9galnG6UUKSzCzK4Kb-dwWKVUp5PU34c3FG_SrjwHOm8ob9ZwwbBeya1eKGbq8_lqrbmE6t7xIKQHisoaLk9TUcQuDSxkdiHypUkwl2EdWZyGGkIrFecJikURBt1fMy9YnO-eVgt09_14Qnw_e-edVJH/s504/tumblr_pxgqj3tAsq1vy2f73o1_540.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="504" data-original-width="504" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgydjfTvzb8m8LmuEsCrtfo7GquAWBUI6CgNear9galnG6UUKSzCzK4Kb-dwWKVUp5PU34c3FG_SrjwHOm8ob9ZwwbBeya1eKGbq8_lqrbmE6t7xIKQHisoaLk9TUcQuDSxkdiHypUkwl2EdWZyGGkIrFecJikURBt1fMy9YnO-eVgt09_14Qnw_e-edVJH/w400-h400/tumblr_pxgqj3tAsq1vy2f73o1_540.png" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">This time, somehow I
managed to keep my worst impulses in check, other than drinking too much but
that was kind of the nature of the get-together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt like I not only did better than usual,
but Anne actually got to see a husband who shared basically my worst behaviors,
but a couple of orders of magnitude worse. I guess if you want to look thin,
sometimes it’s good to stand next to fat people. . .</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Great job to everyone in
keeping the conversation going with any help from me. I actually did see many of
the comments as they were posted, but I didn’t have a lot of time to
respond.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I posted a few responses today,
in case anyone is interested. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">In general, it struck me that
we have multiple members who have been in this lifestyle awhile, yet their wives
are suddenly stepping up their level of strictness and control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m very interested in hearing details about
those continuing developments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Earlier today, Norton
suggested this as a topic:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">One
idea I had was to talk about what has happened when you tried to explain your
DD relationship with others. I have never had any luck doing that, and it
really backfired when I tried to share it with my therapist. The fact that DD
has made me so much more balanced and happier in my life would make it seem
like she would want to know about how it worked. Instead, it was evident she
was completely clueless about DD, and was mostly concerned for my safety. She
was hopeful that someday I might evolve from this desire to be spanked, which
made me regret ever bringing it up. When I have dropped hints with friends,
they don't seem remotely curious, so I no longer even try. Have you had any
luck trying to share your lifestyle with others? That is just the first thing
that came to mind, but if you have other suggestions for a topic, please put
them up.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Alan also suggested an
expanded scope for last week’s impromptu topic, but it came late in the week
and didn’t get a lot of response:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Let's
expand this scope also to include:</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">1.
the most memorable spanking you have received</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">2.
and the first real disciplinary spanking.</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">3.
How do those compare to the last spanking received</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">So, let’s do both of those.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll take a shot at Norton’s first.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As a preliminary matter, it
seems to assume that others commonly do try to explain their DD relationship to
others, but I have big doubts about whether that actually does happen very
often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If anything, we males on the receiving
end of a DD relationship seem to be very reticent about sharing our experiences. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiepZ4-MoerHFcsgsu2YyjB7y7vRLbmKBldsxjzeL0VZsgKg50iccYzOytjJLxWJ97CVV690xStQKxQceYYWEe4jNmAi8lTccrlsHCk3t2pBGNVCtOjm94Oyaf3iirQ9B5v-oLObZ9afSL5VWG6KtLaOj4y-_QdJ98jnPAZGgkipbNSGsOeX14EDz44AKB/s400/tumblr_096a28256f749ca8ce8dcb8ffb370ff1_90b76660_540.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="365" data-original-width="400" height="365" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiepZ4-MoerHFcsgsu2YyjB7y7vRLbmKBldsxjzeL0VZsgKg50iccYzOytjJLxWJ97CVV690xStQKxQceYYWEe4jNmAi8lTccrlsHCk3t2pBGNVCtOjm94Oyaf3iirQ9B5v-oLObZ9afSL5VWG6KtLaOj4y-_QdJ98jnPAZGgkipbNSGsOeX14EDz44AKB/w400-h365/tumblr_096a28256f749ca8ce8dcb8ffb370ff1_90b76660_540.png" width="400" /></a></div>My supposition that it’s not common gets some indirect support from my collection
of spanking arts and memes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can find examples
here and there of wives sharing, or threatening to share, details of the
relationship with their girlfriends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have a handful with one of the wife’s friends or family teasing the husband
about his status. But, I don’t seem to have a single good example depicting a
man telling someone about his DD/spanked status.<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">As for me, I have told
exactly one person to date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I describe
her reaction as sort of “polite disinterest.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At first, I think she was somewhat intrigued, because it was a very new
concept, and here was her fairly Alpha male friend telling her he was actively
engaged in something seemingly very un-Alpha.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anne also talked to this same friend about it and shared some intimate
details.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This initial sharing happened
several years ago, and it has come up from time to time since then. I think she’s
interested in it in the same way most of us are interested in what is going on
in our friends’ lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, it’s
something that I don’t think resonates with her on a personal level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">For a while, I saw an
acupuncturist who was very “holistic” in her approach, beginning each session
with probing questions about things going on in my life that might be impacting
my well-being. I thought about telling her some details about our DD practice,
but I ultimately decided not to. I think her reaction would have been similar
to Norton’s therapist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had made
comments about how I tend to do everything to an extreme, and I think she
probably would have seen DD as taking a normal need for accountability and
self-improvement to an abnormal level.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How about you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you tried to explain your DD need or
details about your DD relationship to anyone? For the ladies, have you told any
friends or relatives that you give your husband disciplinary spankings? How did
those conversations work out?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">Regarding Alan’s questions:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaR1AH6gyOSOBGl8FPlYSRRTfK313qdL6RHd5jeEouD6ndlQcgJamj7XjwHYqbtaUTzFS4MeSNWvqJEFlmFdiSpVO8OYC2QA56zwkCn0SinZ6WL69KhwICqVR4qnInimFo-m6yFrOBFsC03vE2tDcGUAJzxCsn_m7FvuroNOIzdzUuWTV_wQprKORXR7_8/s1108/tumblr_decf2a7e3b9025fa52e1e65baa97c674_0c92e454_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1108" data-original-width="564" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaR1AH6gyOSOBGl8FPlYSRRTfK313qdL6RHd5jeEouD6ndlQcgJamj7XjwHYqbtaUTzFS4MeSNWvqJEFlmFdiSpVO8OYC2QA56zwkCn0SinZ6WL69KhwICqVR4qnInimFo-m6yFrOBFsC03vE2tDcGUAJzxCsn_m7FvuroNOIzdzUuWTV_wQprKORXR7_8/w326-h640/tumblr_decf2a7e3b9025fa52e1e65baa97c674_0c92e454_1280.jpg" width="326" /></a></div>When it comes to “memorable”
spankings, the odd thing is that I don’t really remember much about <i>any </i>spanking
with respect to the spanking itself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(A
form of amnesia that probably is common and explains why so many of us keep
coming back for more.) <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAjadIx7aTb_4D8FPuOk-15FZlvLnEt6uepxl2adKcP3AiY-T7az7RXKAmS5TCGrO7kvxOrTcfmOIL9oLQbHrPMPHDJvClhcY3AdhAgIvFgESVpWZQ27VOVSLHIRF2NyVf-aZwHVv7W_g8436ABSczp_uZXY9vnEtB99q-3DazSE2bbB5VdkOiWOJ1x_Xg/s1508/tumblr_ec8412de744cc610f548d1d4832093bb_b06a0f0c_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1508" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAjadIx7aTb_4D8FPuOk-15FZlvLnEt6uepxl2adKcP3AiY-T7az7RXKAmS5TCGrO7kvxOrTcfmOIL9oLQbHrPMPHDJvClhcY3AdhAgIvFgESVpWZQ27VOVSLHIRF2NyVf-aZwHVv7W_g8436ABSczp_uZXY9vnEtB99q-3DazSE2bbB5VdkOiWOJ1x_Xg/w544-h640/tumblr_ec8412de744cc610f548d1d4832093bb_b06a0f0c_1280.jpg" width="544" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“Memorable” spankings for me tend to be about what led
to them, or how the circumstances indicated some fundamental change in the
relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Examples might include:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">the first time she made me come home from work for a
spanking, and the anxiety I felt every minute of that 20-minute drive</span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">the first time she gave me a very harsh spanking for
forgetting a chore, as it showed a level of control and strictness that she
hadn’t really displayed up ‘til then</span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">the first time she spanked me during the day, with the
window shades open, as it showed an increasingly cavalier willingness to
display her own authority</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRhgZhEG0hAUyaEi4WIki7DvmhiYwppov61Bdu2FI2uyQtYwkQhd9C1yC7TZYUKy8GmJur0FB63F_8WTSKnpD8P_0VWcudcvMi0lmUMGaFnw3c_pds8EqNNxFCM7TYMYCUGc35bzosslBW5ulNU2jZxNbLZPO2_0xwwphmUU4GuOjpQNvh4ti8L7cEvz1e/s707/tumblr_0d545abb7b6549839ef8d488f9941d06_de80f998_500.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="707" data-original-width="400" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRhgZhEG0hAUyaEi4WIki7DvmhiYwppov61Bdu2FI2uyQtYwkQhd9C1yC7TZYUKy8GmJur0FB63F_8WTSKnpD8P_0VWcudcvMi0lmUMGaFnw3c_pds8EqNNxFCM7TYMYCUGc35bzosslBW5ulNU2jZxNbLZPO2_0xwwphmUU4GuOjpQNvh4ti8L7cEvz1e/w362-h640/tumblr_0d545abb7b6549839ef8d488f9941d06_de80f998_500.jpeg" width="362" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I don’t really recall very much
about that very first “disciplinary” spanking, perhaps because it turned out
not be all that disciplinary. I had proposed DD to her a couple of days
earlier, and after reviewing the Disciplinary Wives Club website, she told me
to go buy a brush. I did, but it was the flimsy kind of thing you see in most
hair salons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We decided to do our first
spanking that night, largely so we wouldn’t back out of the whole thing. Neither
one of us really knew what we were doing, and the combination of the flimsy
brush and the OTK position left me feeling not-so-disciplined.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">The first spanking I really
remember with clarity was the first one in which a system we used early on to
tally up a minimum number of swats based on various behaviors added up to 65
swats with the fraternity-style paddle. I hadn’t taken anything remotely close
to that many up to that point. I recall two things about that spanking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, my stunned reaction when I told her I
didn’t think I could take that many and she replied that, if that was the case,
I shouldn’t have committed the infractions and that I <i>would </i>be taking
that many.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, I recall being left
very, very sore and very, very bruised.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwmtWKzToJGn2iQ8LZT5kLEKbephMmszknOJ930rzbK0lir9ytR-808tQWRBsxgMiwRV4pgeay95TpLYpQ39pKTfo23YAhdUc3_aF-7TJBxNz-sKyBmQYyZLRgEv1JHA8ELF93THxxR0VhQrezbPAvWCZG9hud7pXgrqAGLuO2Gl6rTgJ3Q7zoCrT8sZZD/s934/tumblr_834f7013aaee35506459f87f55aa39f0_2fc08372_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="934" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwmtWKzToJGn2iQ8LZT5kLEKbephMmszknOJ930rzbK0lir9ytR-808tQWRBsxgMiwRV4pgeay95TpLYpQ39pKTfo23YAhdUc3_aF-7TJBxNz-sKyBmQYyZLRgEv1JHA8ELF93THxxR0VhQrezbPAvWCZG9hud7pXgrqAGLuO2Gl6rTgJ3Q7zoCrT8sZZD/w400-h321/tumblr_834f7013aaee35506459f87f55aa39f0_2fc08372_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How do those early and most
memorbable spankings differ from our most recent one? I would say our most
recent one was pretty memorable in that it was done in a different room and she
initially wanted to leave the blinds open even though that room faces neighbors
we know well. Once again, it was the surrounding circumstances and not the
spanking itself that was memorable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In terms
of how the intensity has changed, I can just copy and paste ZM’s answer from
last week:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 31.5pt;"><i><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">“In
terms of severity, my wife obviously spanks much harder and longer than she did
in the beginning, but I would say this actually peaked a few years ago and
dropped off some. Recently, she seems to be taking the severity a bit higher.”</span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">How would you answer Alan’s
questions?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What was your most memorable
spanking received or given?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What was the
first disciplinary you received or gave like?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How does your most recent spanking compare?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 15.0pt;">I hope you have a great week.</span></p>
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{margin-bottom:0in;}</style></p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com85tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-15844236981425827372023-09-23T17:44:00.002-07:002023-09-23T17:44:34.138-07:00Out For a Week<p>Hi all. I hope you're having a good weekend. We're going to be hitting the road for a full week, maybe a bit more. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgegAMW590xiduhs3EaEXaauoFclLgGECgyokSRN79LaW4N_4P4ai3crTA4_CBh7U24jS4Ew8zZXlnBj5c-AFOkuB209d_tZX3ksVKqxT0EE8UO8b4eyLMLQr9vgwjCdchVe1ZGMi93mDyizq0NQqL8rGzYEb9wCijogfRGYD6wFqlZXrxjr50TaaQ-lITO/s625/tumblr_34924ada8ac113cbae5b716c8916a61e_4ddab157_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="625" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgegAMW590xiduhs3EaEXaauoFclLgGECgyokSRN79LaW4N_4P4ai3crTA4_CBh7U24jS4Ew8zZXlnBj5c-AFOkuB209d_tZX3ksVKqxT0EE8UO8b4eyLMLQr9vgwjCdchVe1ZGMi93mDyizq0NQqL8rGzYEb9wCijogfRGYD6wFqlZXrxjr50TaaQ-lITO/w512-h640/tumblr_34924ada8ac113cbae5b716c8916a61e_4ddab157_500.png" width="512" /></a></div><br /><p>So, I don't plan to post this weekend and probably not next weekend. Perhaps I'll get around to something early in the week after we get back. In the meantime, feel free to keep commenting on last week's topic or explore something else.</p>Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.com52