tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post4516440866366528733..comments2024-03-29T03:08:12.803-07:00Comments on The Disciplinary Couples Club: The Forum - Vol. 181 Maintenance UpdateDan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-18520682057495150622016-11-23T14:21:12.616-08:002016-11-23T14:21:12.616-08:00Hi Julie. Yes, and I meant "out there" ...Hi Julie. Yes, and I meant "out there" in the very nicest way possible!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-27279683431677946382016-11-23T06:43:13.373-08:002016-11-23T06:43:13.373-08:00Ah ha! So it showed up on Julie's blog that sh...Ah ha! So it showed up on Julie's blog that she DID indeed need/ want some additional spanking.. I love it!!!Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-5685742780937980562016-11-22T07:10:48.790-08:002016-11-22T07:10:48.790-08:00During the past few weeks I have received a few br...During the past few weeks I have received a few brisk spankings in advance of our going out somewhere. I was told that now that she is well again, and the DWC lifestyle is fully operational, she intends to "act on her intuition", especially if we will be with other people. Her new philosophy seems to be "when in doubt, dish it out"<br /><br />I hate to admit it. But I can see for myself that it is a smart idea. I am more sensitive to her subtle cues when we are out now. And things seem to be much smoother all around.<br /><br />I don't know if those sessions are actually "maintenance". They seem more "preventive". Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-62907286466109690582016-11-19T05:57:24.281-08:002016-11-19T05:57:24.281-08:00I can't help thinking that Julie will probably...I can't help thinking that Julie will probably need need a maintenance spanking pretty soon. The fact that I am even thinking that amazes me since my interests and attention are always 100% on DWC related thingsTomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-33852203596662790312016-11-17T09:34:22.850-08:002016-11-17T09:34:22.850-08:00I have been giving your Posts a lot of thought. Yo...I have been giving your Posts a lot of thought. You have said you do want the spankings and more of them. Possibly you could explore whether or not there is a pain attraction in you that would enjoy an alternative form of expression. For example, have you ever had a trip to a dungeon and experienced the "exotic" side of it". If not, maybe it would be liberating for you. Maybe not. <br /><br />As far as craving more discipline per se, I am wondering if your spanking sessions include the kind of scolding that really gets to you. I know for me, spanking itself is pretty meaningful. But when I really have to confront the way my misbehavior or negligence affects her, and our lives over all, I feel emotionally pained. That, along with the spanking itself, makes it truly disciplinary and I do not want to experience it any time again soon.Tomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-8199605419782382712016-11-16T16:18:26.211-08:002016-11-16T16:18:26.211-08:00I am glad you can appreciate the difference. Your ...I am glad you can appreciate the difference. Your derrière certainly does!... Now, let's see how long it will be before you need another one! The maple switches are still soaking - and I haven't used the riding crop for some time... Better be on your best behavior - or else!...<br /><br />J.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-64837421694668608102016-11-16T15:16:11.121-08:002016-11-16T15:16:11.121-08:00Over the past week, I was subjected to a "mai...Over the past week, I was subjected to a "maintenance" spanking (with the kitchen spoon) AND - last night - to a "punishment" session (which, I acknowledge, I fully deserved) with the rattan cane AND the leather strap... No doubt about which was worst !<br /><br />L.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-17037352666592141932016-11-13T11:22:04.154-08:002016-11-13T11:22:04.154-08:00Hi dan - just noticed the shout out as I was perus...Hi dan - just noticed the shout out as I was perusing your blog. Thank you very much!! Yes, I am a bit "out there" aren't I? Ha Ha!<br /><br />But I guess you weren't expecting "maintenance" to be quite so intense, were you? Good on your Wife for keeping you on your toes!juliesphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02856609580815309314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-17300702158721211232016-11-10T20:01:55.974-08:002016-11-10T20:01:55.974-08:00Anna, Joe2 here,
I highly recommend spanking for...Anna, Joe2 here,<br /><br />I highly recommend spanking for relieving tension, because that is what I use to "pull the monkey off my back." The goal is to get into subspace, so it is very much like a punishment spanking- with some significant differences. <br /><br />First, instead of scolding, you give words of encouragement, because he hasn't done anything wrong. My wife says things like, "I am so lucky that you are my husband." or "I know you have a very stressful job, and I am so thankful that you come to me for a spanking rather than lose your temper."<br /><br />Second, the warm up is a little longer and then it transitions into full force. You are not minimizing the pain of the spanking, rather you are allowing his brain to transition. <br /><br />Third, keep a rhythm. If you do two strikes on the right cheek, then do two on the left cheek. The same for the strength of each stroke. For me, the strength has to be hard enough for purple bruises to appear.<br /><br />Fourth, after he has gone into sub-space, keep spanking him at the same pace and same strength. You can change the area (to minimize bruising), but now you are getting him deeper into subspace and he doesn't care; he is swimming in a wonderful pool of endorphins.<br /><br />Fifth, once he is in subspace, you have to find a way to know when to stop. What my wife does, is go by the clock. After I go into subspace, every 5 minutes my wife asks me if I have had enough. By that time, I usually cannot speak, but if I want it to continue (to go deeper) I have to move my left hand. Usually by the second 5 minute mark, I am so deep into subspace, that I cannot even be bothered to move my hand for a third round. Sometimes I am so deep, that I am drooling, because I cannot be bothered to swallow.<br /><br />Sixth, after you stop spanking him, he will need deep and comforting aftercare. I always go into "sub-drop." My wife will lay beside me and hold me and caress me. I am coming out of subspace and I really need to know that she loves me. Within a few minutes I will be wrapped around my wife. She never says anything, because we have found it is best for me to slowly come back to normal. Once she had a phone call that she had to take, so she left me after after a minute or two of aftercare. It was horrible, though I "knew" she had to leave, I felt, at a primordial level, that she had abandoned me. When she got back about half an hour later, I was curled-up into a ball holding myself. <br /><br />I almost always go into a deep sleep after aftercare and when I wake up, I have a sore and bruised bottom, but I feel on top of the world. Of note, I usually never say a word or make a sound from the time I go into subspace until I wake up.<br /><br />Of note, my wife dislikes spanking me. But she loves the pure intimacy of the aftercare. And she feels really rewarded by how good a mood I am in after I wake up. <br /><br />It may take a while to get to this level (at least it did for me), but boy is it worth it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-11581980277939318022016-11-09T19:16:12.935-08:002016-11-09T19:16:12.935-08:00Thanks, Peter. I don't think I've asked s...Thanks, Peter. I don't think I've asked specifically for a spanking because I felt I needed one. I've told her when I thought I deserved one, but that isn't quite the same thing. And, thankfully for me, she has never imposed corner time.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-38255826765441332362016-11-08T21:25:00.971-08:002016-11-08T21:25:00.971-08:00Dan
as am I ... and yet at times as i hear her mov...Dan<br />as am I ... and yet at times as i hear her move toward the room then away .. its hard and yes still i have asked knowing what was ahead. I wanted to say this before .. my arousal before or sometimes during a session is the expression of my joy that Anna loves me enough to discipline me.<br />peterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-91653344207423842162016-11-08T18:45:07.940-08:002016-11-08T18:45:07.940-08:00I am so ADD, I can't imagine two hours look at...I am so ADD, I can't imagine two hours look at a wall. That would be own personal idea of hell!Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-37356741464079188782016-11-08T16:49:12.372-08:002016-11-08T16:49:12.372-08:00In my view, "maintenance" spankings are ...In my view, "maintenance" spankings are quite distinct from "punishment" spankings - if only because no specific breach of household discipline is involved. "Maintenance" spankings are essentially "reminders" - and need not be as severe as those punishments that he may deserve for any number of reasons.<br /> <br />"Maitenance" spankings may take the form of my using my own hand, the back of a brush, the kitchen spoon or the martinet, whereas "punishment" may (according to the seriousness of his offence) call for the additional use of the rattan cane, the leather strap or the riding crop... <br /><br />J.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-532567717383596852016-11-08T10:58:31.893-08:002016-11-08T10:58:31.893-08:00Thanks. I kind of like that one too. I usually tr...Thanks. I kind of like that one too. I usually try to find something that fits the topic, but I couldn't find anything that seemed very apropos for "maintenance spankings."Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-21471486017823577012016-11-08T10:27:28.039-08:002016-11-08T10:27:28.039-08:00Dan
Facing the obstacles that meet most couples w...Dan<br /><br />Facing the obstacles that meet most couples with children or family around, when we looked for a new<br />home, we chose a house that had the master bedroom one side of the house and the family on the other side. ( We did luck out since the room we chose as bedroom had been used by a musician who had the <br />room soundproofed.)<br />It has made our ability to be more in the moment, than before. It has made all the difference. In addition we continue to reserve Friday evenings for us. ( the boys spend that nite at their grandparents ) That Friday nite is our time to communicate and punish on a regular basis. <br />Recently we have been exploring, when I felt the need to connect with her as head of household, after dinner to go to our room strip and wait. There is an intensity to that moment I feel.There has been one time that Anna kept me waiting, stopped and nose to the wall for almost two hours. It was a true lesson in submission to her will. I confess that nite i was pissed but knew if i voiced that it would stop. As Anna said recently " Ah Men and their needs."<br />peterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-47680745064234303302016-11-08T08:29:25.935-08:002016-11-08T08:29:25.935-08:00BTW - Kudos for the superb quote launching this to...BTW - Kudos for the superb quote launching this topic:<br /><br />“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”― Anais NinTomy Nashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208893789610692117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-61906747056969063542016-11-08T08:00:56.027-08:002016-11-08T08:00:56.027-08:00Bill, that's great! Glad it worked out.Bill, that's great! Glad it worked out.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-33178340646772276632016-11-08T05:50:18.140-08:002016-11-08T05:50:18.140-08:00My wife just continues to confirm that she is bett...My wife just continues to confirm that she is better than me in so many subtle ways. So her response to my requests was, "no big deal". She said, I just don't want to make it about me personally getting upset. She says, I just want to keep it in the realm of role play". She says, "I can role play mad at you all day long". But i don't like to go there for real. Haha... reminds me that "the only reason for failure is a lack of imagination". We will see how it plays out, but seems fun to me. thanks again, BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-85543705711823606302016-11-08T05:36:06.210-08:002016-11-08T05:36:06.210-08:00At this point, I'm not sure we can say she has...At this point, I'm not sure we can say she has views on them at all, given that we've been doing them for a whopping two weeks. I wouldn't characterize what she gave me as a maintenance spanking, by a long shot. I see it as a maintenance session that she converted into an actual punishment spanking.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-86119738547239315082016-11-07T21:21:14.531-08:002016-11-07T21:21:14.531-08:00I (reluctantly) agree with J's commentI (reluctantly) agree with J's comment Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-65666802100352603492016-11-07T21:12:36.371-08:002016-11-07T21:12:36.371-08:00L's wife here:
Dan: I see your wife has a st...L's wife here: <br /><br />Dan: I see your wife has a sterner view of "maintenance spankings" than I do. But, then again, L. usually gets a couple of 'deserved' spankings a week (some of them harsh), which reduces the need for regular 'maintenance' spankings - but, then again, I reserve the right to give him a taste of the hairbrush, the kitchen spoon, or the martinet once a week -as reminder- even if he has been "a good boy" over that week!<br /><br />L. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-10372421247897793652016-11-07T18:46:35.695-08:002016-11-07T18:46:35.695-08:00Doug, as I said to Anna, different strokes for dif...Doug, as I said to Anna, different strokes for different folks. Every couple has to do what works for them, and so to each individual. Some women take to giving disciplinary spankings like ducks to water. Some are reluctant or timid at first but learn to like it over time, or at least appreciate its utility. It will never be right some some. Similarly with the men. You get something out of erotic spankings, while they wouldn't do much for me. Again, whatever works.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-7593691227963458032016-11-07T18:28:11.935-08:002016-11-07T18:28:11.935-08:00Hi Anna. Hope you and Peter are doing well. Like...Hi Anna. Hope you and Peter are doing well. Like you, I think there are lots views and permutations on this one. And, until recently I was myself not only skeptical about the idea of maintenance spankings, but I really leaned against them. Like you, my wife has never had much of a problem delivering very hard disciplinary spankings. The issue has not been around severity but, rather, consistency (applying them fairly consistently when I've earned one) and also just her confidence in herself as the HoH and the tendency to fall back into a more traditional role. Not exactly submissive, but a long way from an HoH or Domme role. And, she does want to get comfortable with exercising that kind of power. So, this seemed like a way to ensure that she gets to do that on at least a weekly basis,until it becomes more natural. But, that obviously wouldn't be something that every Disciplinary Wife wants or needs, either because (a) she doesn't have any problem stepping into the HoH role and may be naturally dominant; or (b) she and her husband are comfortable with her current level of assertiveness and aren't going for a anything like an FLR relationship.<br /><br />Different strokes for different folks, so to speak.Dan - A Disciplined Hubbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588294648648656600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-61380947039608820332016-11-07T18:14:39.264-08:002016-11-07T18:14:39.264-08:00Dan, I think using maintenance spankings in the wa...Dan, I think using maintenance spankings in the way you describe is excellent providing your wife is fully on board. Clearly, Anna is not on board, nor would my wife be, were we to discuss it. But I now know that hard and regular erotic spankings do meet my needs -- while not for everyone, and possibly not for most; I don't know. My wife and I did discuss a DWC relationship several years ago. After considering it for several days, with a shaking voice, she told me that she just couldn't spank me for discipline, but she was willing to spank me erotically. At first, I did not think this would meet my needs, but I was wrong. It works for us. I understand this blog is for discussing DD relationships, and how to make them work. So I won't say anything more on this topic. You have a great blog and you run it well. DougAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6699266088923868373.post-22865985053819819172016-11-07T14:54:53.034-08:002016-11-07T14:54:53.034-08:00Dan
Let me begin by saying I am speaking only for ...Dan<br />Let me begin by saying I am speaking only for me. I dont believe in the idea of maintenence discipline. To my mind it is neither here nor there. When I began with Peter I was timid about it but going easy didnt seem to satisfy me. True discipline to me, means I spank until.... yes until I feel the message has gotten<br />through.The degree or length is really in Peter's hands. <br />In addition I dont really care if he is aroused as we begin. I promise you he is not aroused when I am done.<br />Tears are not necessary but true remorse is required.I confess a few times I have demanded he rellieve himself in front of me before a session but that seldom happens. I believe once I related that one time <br />he was working on a Sunday from his office. I called to see when he felt he would be home or should I feed the boys. He hung up on me. I can tell you I hired a sitter and went to his office and bent over this desk, the the belt from around his waist . He sat on cushions for several days after.<br />Lately we have spoken about using discipline to relieve tensions he might feel a taste of paddle might clear up. My reaction to that suggestion was I am open to it but if I spank it will be until.......<br /><br />Dan, love this blog and cant tell you how great it is to see the variety of opinions. My best<br /><br />anna<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com