Saturday, May 6, 2017

The Forum - Vol. 205 - Dan Gets Spanked, Multiples and Asking For It Revisited . . .

A woman should soften but not weaken a man. ~Sigmund Freud

Hello all.  Welcome back to The Forum.  Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships.  I hope you had a good week.

Mine was painful. But, for once, not because of self-inflicted damage. Well, not directly anyway.  I managed to make it through an entire week without having too many drinks at happy hour, getting into a tiff with someone at work, or any of the myriad other things that usually leave me feeling dead tired and drained of all energy by Saturday morning.  Instead, I didn't drink alcohol at all, worked out five days consecutively, was reasonably well-behaved and productive at work, did all my chores around the house each day, and didn't break any rules with one small and unintentional exception.  So, how did this wondrous transformation come about?  Simple -- multiple spankings, in combination with being grounded.

I've intentionally avoided focusing a lot on personal disciplinary anecdotes on this blog, but I don't have any other topic in mind this week, plus the last week's events really have been on my mind a lot.  So, this week in lieu of an actual topic, I will share the story of how I got into trouble and the consequences that resulted, and folks can react to it as they like.

I knew in advance that last week had the potential to be challenging.  I really have been trying to take better care of myself, and I went into the week with a conscious goal of staying out of trouble. But, I knew it would be hard.  We had back-to-back social events at work, where bonding over cocktails is the norm.  The first night was a small and limited affair, and though I went into it with the goal of keeping the drinking down to a minimum, the night dragged on longer than expected, so more rounds were ordered, and before I knew it, I was getting home at midnight.  The next night was even worse, though maybe even less intentionally so.  We had a gathering of colleagues that was billed as a dinner, but it was more like a long happy hour with an open bar, with the only food consisting of light appetizers, liberally interspersed with caterers offering trays laded with full glasses of wine.  At some point, you would think I would learn that wine on an empty stomach is a big "no no" for me.  It goes to my head way too fast, and before I know it I've forgotten all about trying to moderate.  Worse, after the "dinner" was over, several visiting colleagues wanted a nightcap, so off we went.  The result being a 1:00 am arrival time at home.

The next day was worthless in terms of getting any actual work done, which wasn't bad in and of itself because I didn't really have that much to do anyway. That's one offsetting advantage to late nights with colleagues -- they are probably just as tired and hungover as you, so no one is really generating work for anyone else.  Anyway, as I was already feeling my usual post-binge need for accountability, I spent a good part of the day surfing for DD or spanking-related stories.  Without going into details, one involved the recipient getting one spanking for a major act of irresponsibility, but under circumstances that would usually result in a second, harder spanking from another family member.  Instead of trying to get out of the second one, he essentially requests it and asks that it be harder than what he has gotten before, because he knows he has screwed up and genuinely wants to wipe the slate clean.  They agree he will get a hard hairbrush spanking that by itself will leave him sobbing, followed by a long, hard strapping with a belt.  And, that is what happens.

Inspired by such tales of consequences requested and imposed, and feeling a genuinely overwhelming need to really be held accountable, I sent my wife a journal entry reminding her that our official "rule" has always been that drinking too much is one offense, and driving home is another, each meriting a separate spanking.  But, though it has been a rule, it has never really been enforced.  Therefore, although I was asking her to enforce that rule, I had no way of really knowing how bad that would be. But, I also felt like I needed to find out.  Not because I wanted that much pain, but because I did screw up, I've done it repeatedly and, if this is all real and not just some kinky game, then I need a punishment that reflects what I did and makes me not do it again. In other words, it needs to be hard enough to get the job done.

Part of me knew what I was asking for, though not really.  If it was done the way it needed to be, I would be left regretting having asked her to do this.  I know it's paradoxical.  I wanted something that I knew I  was not going to want.  But, I need the punishment for very bad behavior to, in fact, be very bad. I need it to be not just at the limits of my ability to take, but beyond.  In an ideal world, it would leave me a crying, sobbing mess after spanking #1, and I should be quaking in fear before spanking #2.  I earned something that bad, and we had agreed that I needed to get the kind of discipline that I have earned, so that the behavior is not repeated.

Although she didn't formally communicate that she agreed to subject me to the sort of discipline I was suggesting, she clearly had it in mind.   Her demeanor on Saturday was all business.  Finally, after being on pins and needles all day, I was sitting at the kitchen table around 8:00 pm getting some work done and she was in our bedroom also doing some work, when she sent me a text telling me to shut everything down and come upstairs.  I turned off my computer, put everything away and locked up, then went upstairs, where she was on the bed working on her laptop.  I stood beside the bed, waiting for her instructions.  She left me standing there in silence for several minutes, not even really acknowledging my presence.  She then asked me a series of questions about whether I had locked up downstairs and put everything away.  I couldn't remember whether I had done one particular task (probably because I was so nervous about what was about to happen).  So, she commanded me to go back down and make sure it had been done.  I trudged back downstairs, then back up to the bedroom, taking my place at her side again as she continued to work.  After again leaving me standing there in silence for several minutes, and again without looking up from her laptop, she began to lecture:

"You know what is going to happen, right?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

[pause - continuing to read without looking up]

 "Are you nervous?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good.  You should be, since you are going to be getting two very hard spankings."

"Yes, Ma'am."

[still not looking up]

"OK. Get everything set up."

I complied immediately, not wanting to make it worse.  Most of our spankings these days have migrated from the basement to our bedroom, and occur with me draped over a large leather ottoman. I moved it to the center of the room, and retrieved her tools, including some new leather straps I bought after we decided the rubber ones were doing too much damage. 

When I was finished, she got up from the bed and went into the bathroom, instructing me to get undressed and wait for her. 

During all this, every time she instructed me to do something and I replied with "Yes, ma'am,"  there was a definite catch in my voice, like I was on the verge of tears and at risk of sobbing before the spanking even started. That hasn't happened before.  I don't know whether it was knowing how bad it was likely to be, or the emotion involved in approaching her and asking for a spanking that I knew was going to be really bad, or feeling more remorseful than usual, or some combination of all those.  But, something was definitely different.  It was so hard asking her to deliver something I knew was going to be so hard to take, but I knew I deserved it.  That emotional vulnerability is part of the process I know I need.  Humbling me and making me more open to being corrected.  The fact that the humbling seemed to be taking effect even before the first swat seemed like a good sign that I might finally actually cry during the spanking.

When she returned from the bathroom, she gave me a very strong lecture about how irresponsible I had been. It went on for probably three or four minutes. She then commanded me to get into position.

I  took my place on the ottoman, as she chose the implement she wished to start with.  I had thought that after our recent discussions about how starting with really severe tools at full force frustrated my ability to get into a submissive mindset, she might do more of a warmup.  Nope. She began with the heaviest of the new straps, and in terms of pain-producing power, it proved to be every bit the equal of the heavy rubber one for which it was a substitute. She gave me around 20 licks with it, and I was not just gasping or moaning. I was yelling out, almost screeching, with each strike.  I wouldn't be at all surprised if the neighbors overheard.  Unfortunately, it also resulted in me going into  full-blown "man up" mode, and I could never get back to that point of accepting what I had coming from a standpoint of hating the spanking but wanting the correction.  Instead, I just wanted to get through it.  Though, even in that state, there were moments when it hurt so badly that I came close to bursting into tears, though as always . . . not quite. She eventually switched to somewhate milder leather straps, but they still hurt a lot, and she finished with 40 to 50 very hard swats with some mixture of wooden paddles and the bath brush.

After it was over, she informed me I would be getting a similar one the next night.

I was incredibly sore the next day, and spent quite a bit of it sitting on an ice pack. For those who don't believe a disciplinary spanking can leave you not wanting to sit the next day, you obviously have never had a real one.  And, all through the day I got to think about the second round coming that night.  But, I still felt like I really deserved this, so when the butterflies would start flying around in my stomach I told myself: "I can't imagine what it is going to be be like.  But, I deserve this.  I even literally asked for it. So, I am going to try to prepare myself all day NOT to take it like a man and to accept her discipline as the proper consequences for what I did." I sent her a journal entry thanking her for last night, but making the point about how no warm-up and early severity is likely to work against breaking me down emotionally.  But, I told myself that regardless of the kind of spanking she decided to give me, I needed to be prepared to take it, and I needed to start it in the same mindset I began in last night -- humble, submissive, and open to crying.

Well, best laid plans . . . We ended up having guests the next night, and by the time they left my wife was tired and decided to postpone for a day.  So, another day of sitting on an already sore bottom knowing it was going to get a lot sorer.  And this time I had to be at work all day, with thoughts of what was coming that night regularly interrupting my flow.  There has been a time or two when she has announced a spanking almost out of the blue, and my heart would jump up into my throat. But, I do think the long hours of anticipation are worse and kept me even more on edge.  When I am waiting at home for one, I am so at her mercy that there is almost a sense of resignation.  But, being at work all day, knowing one is coming that night, possibly as soon as I walk in the door, creates this uncomfortable and distracting back and forth between my normal routine and thoughts about what I know I will be going through when I get home.  It seems also to make me even more complicit in my own punishment, as I have some control about how late to stay, how long to take driving home, etc.

I arrived home around 7:00. She didn't say anything about her plans, and I didn't ask.  Even though I had asked for all this, including specifically for this second spanking,  part of me definitely hoped she would get distracted and we would, once again, run out the clock before she got to it.  No such luck. At about 8:15, she came out of her office and said simply, "You have about 5 minutes to put away whatever you are working on, then go upstairs and get ready for your second spanking."

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied, resigned to take my medicine as best I could.

I again set up the ottoman and laid out her tools, then stripped naked.  As I waited for her to come up to the room,  I stood silently, very scared of how bad it was going to hurt, but telling myself that however much it did, I had earned it and could easily have avoided it.

She entered the room and was, once again, all business.  I wasn't sure whether she would lecture this time, since she had done it thoroughly and on this same topic two nights before.  But, she did, this time emphasizing that although I would have gotten one spanking for drinking too much regardless,  I could have avoided this second one simply by taking a cab home or getting a hotel room close to work.  When she had said her piece, without a hint of hesitation or reluctance to do what needed to be done she told me tersely, "OK, get into position and get prepared.  This one is going to be bad."

Even after my journal entry letter her know that no warm up was probably counterproductive in terms of getting me to really surrender, she laid into me hard from the outset.  In fact, though she switched implements three or four times, she skipped the straps entirely and used the wooden paddles and the bath brush throughout.  I didn't cry, but it was agony.  She seemed to be trying out some new techniques, too.  She usually delivers volleys of 10 or 15 in a row, then switches sides to deliver another 10 or 15. This time, she gave two or three really hard swats, then paused for several seconds, then another two or three.  Over and over again. This prevented a lot of the numbing that sometimes happens with the wooden paddles. And, no matter, how much I yelled and screeched with each swat, they just kept coming.  There were, like the previous session, times when an individual swat was so hard that I almost burst into tears.  But, I still couldn't quite do it and, unfortunately, I was again in that "just get through it" mindset.  In fact, part of me definitely resented that she hadn't taken my advice to heart about what would get me to that point of full surrender. But, I think the simple answer is that getting me to that point of catharsis was not her goal for these spankings. I had been genuinely irresponsible in a major way, and these spankings were meant to punish, pure and simple. She wanted them to be as painful as they could be, and if that meant I didn't cry or get any kind of emotional release, that was fine with her as long as the real message was delivered.

When it was over, she was not quite finished letting me know my world had changed.

"If you do anything else this week -- any breaking of the rules at all -- you will get spanked again regardless of how sore you may already be from these two spankings. Do you you understand?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"You are not to drink any alcohol at all this week.  I don't care if there are a dozen work-related events requiring handing out with colleagues or potential business contacts, you are not to drink.  Got it?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good, because if I have to spank you again this week, god help you."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"You also are grounded.  You are to come straight home from work every day. Particularly on Friday.  No happy hour with the team. That seems to be what often gets you into trouble, so we'll just remove that temptation.  Understood?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"OK. Go get ready for bed."

I gathered my clothes and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for bed, as instructed. My legs were shaking so badly and my bottom so hurting to its core that I could barely manage to get up and walk.  Itt is difficult to even describe how much my bottom ached.  I slept on my stomach most of the night, and even the sheet hurt as it moved over my bottom from time to time during the night.  Oddly, I expected my butt to be a bruised mess the next day, but it wasn't actually any worse than after the first spanking, and the residual pain wasn't really any worse either. I have no way of explaining that.  One noticeable difference from a normal spanking, however, is that I am now five days post-spanking, and definitely still feeling noticeable pain when I sit down.  Usually, the pain goes away after one or two days, even if I still have some marks. And, the marks are not fading fast, which created its own more lingering form of punishment this week. I worked out in the gym every morning, and every morning I had to put a towel on over my gym shorts before putting them on and  taking them off, and I had to leave the towel in place as I  pulled on my underwear and pants after my shower, because the bruises would have been visible from many feet away.

Well, that is a lot of writing for one posting, And, without any real topic attached to it, I will just invite you to comment on any aspect that catches your attention or that you think merits some discussion.  I'm also happy to try to answer any questions you may have.

I hope you all have a great week.  If you are new to this group, please stop by the Guestbook (tab above) and tell us a little about your Domestic Discipline or FLR lifestyle or aspirations.

54 comments:

  1. Dan
    "IT IS ABOUT TIME" NOW I FEEL WE ARE SEEING THE REAL YOU. I WILL RETURN LATER BUT WANT TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS . I FEEL FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS BECOME PART OF YOUR LIFE AND NOT JUST A THEORY!
    YOUR FRIEND
    ANNA

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    1. Au contraire my good friend. I have always told you that in these relationships, telling the man to obey is not enough. The Disciplinary Wife needs to be willing to *make* him change. In this case, she finally did!

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  2. Nice and interesting, and very hot post ;-) Thanks for sharing it with all of us. It is much appreciated.

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    1. Thank you. Isn't it interesting that those of us with this bent will find this kind of posting hot, even though it had no overtly sexual content at all, other than nudity that was left entirely to the imagination?

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  3. I notice you didn't mention any aftercare by your wife. Is this her typical demeanor after a punishment. Have you ever discussed this incident with her, trying to get her perspective?

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    1. Well, I wasn't going to talk about this, as it is both sexual and embarrassing. But, here goes. Unlike many of the disciplinary couples who contribute here, we DO often have sex after a spanking, and it usually involves lots of holding and talking about what just happened. This time, when the time came, I had more than a little trouble "performing." I think I was just so thoroughly drained, a certain part of my anatomy also felt drained. After some up and down effort (pun intended), she told me, jokingly I think (hope) "Either get him working or I'm going to give you another spanking." It worked at least enough to, like her spanking, get the job done.

      BTW, for whatever reason, I've always had a negative reaction to the term "aftercare." It just seems odd to juxtapose a serious disciplinary spanking with something that sounds like a doctor tending to a boxer after a fight. Not sure why, but the term brings me up short every time it is used in this context. But, it's obviously some hangup on my part.

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    2. Indeed, I've also noticed that after enduring a disciplinary session it can be a challenge for a man to perform as he might like to right away. Providing enthusiastic oral service can be a good way to show your appreciation for your disciplinarian's efforts.
      CrimsonKing

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    3. Joe2 here,

      I'm like you. I do not like the term "aftercare" either. But aftercare is very important to me. My wife and I call it by several terms, e.g. reconnecting. But that is the term usually used, so rather than having to explain "our term," I just use the normal term.

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    4. Hi Joe2. "Reconnecting" is good. I also kind of like plain old "talking." :-)

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    5. Hi CrimsonKing. That's definitely another option, though doesn't always meet quite the same needs.

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  4. That sounds worse than anything I have ever gotten, but if your wife keeps it up, you will start improving and avoiding the excessive drinking. It will become a deterrent, as it definitely did for me. You and I got into DD to improve and correct our bad behavior, and for some people it takes a pretty good licking to turn the corner. I think you are probably getting there. Good luck. My congratulations to your wife as well as she now realizes what it will take to turn your drinking around.

    Fred

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    1. Thanks, Fred. It definitely can take "a pretty good licking" to make some people make a change, particularly with habits that are long-established and part of how you see yourself are concerned. It's no accident that one of my favorite movies is Cool Hand Luke. People will either get that reference or not. And, of course, it didn't end well where lasting behavior correction was concerned. :-)

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    2. Spanked by the computer...
      I'm not the fastest typer, plus the time it takes to compose a reply makes it really suck when some random click just wipes out what you've entered.

      AaaaH! Maybe later...

      Clev_Tom

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    3. Sorry Clev_Tom. Hate it when that happens.

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  5. Well Dan, I've read to much of what you have said on this blog, and you are to smart and to balanced to ever become another "Cool Hand Luke." I believe, like me, some habits are really so engrained in our behavior they are difficult to break. That's why we have our wives to help us because we aren't disciplined enough to do it on our own. I think you fall into that category as do I. I have had many drinking experiences with colleagues and clients, and it worked for me, but after a couple of drinks I could always find a reason to excuse myself. I think you will learn to do that as well if you want to avoid the intense punishment you discussed in your opening remarks. At least in my case, if given the choice of such a strapping and paddling versus politely exiting the scene - it would be a "no brainer."

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  6. Dan, this is just fantastic from every angle! Congratulations to your wife for having the confidence and determination to act as she did. I'm sure it is not easy for our women at times but then again, who knows? If angry enough, maybe this whole DD-thing prompts some 'second nature' ability to nurture through discipline?

    I'm not sure what else to say. I really think this latest post is just so great, both as an incident and as potential for the future.

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    1. Thanks, KD! Much appreciated. You would think it would not be easy for our women, but mine has somehow never shown any real reluctance to go hard when necessary. It's interesting because she is pretty mild-mannered and seemingly sweet in "real life."

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  7. Dan, Joe2 here,

    This is kind of off topic, but alcohol does seem to a frequent friction point between spouses.

    Before I got married, beer was consumed often and in large quantities. Three beers was just an appetizer. In my profession, consumption of alcohol is frequent and often in large quantities. So, this was a problem early in my marriage.

    This is my solution; which my wife agrees to: 1) I can drink 1-3 alcoholic drinks any day. 2) I can drink 4-12 drinks three times per month. I can take one "advance" during this period and it will come off the next period, but I cannot bank them. 4) I can drink unlimited amounts four times a year, e.g. the 4th of July. and 5) My wife can limit me to three drinks for any event.

    It kind of sounds complicated, but in practice, it hasn't been.

    For many it might still seem rather high, but it is a whole lot lower than it was.

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    1. Joe2, you seem to be a man after my own heart, though 12 is a big night even by my standards.

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    2. Dan,

      Joe3 here,

      Yes, 12 boutique beers would be rather excessive, but they are wasted on me. I stick to Coors light and the like. The trip is more fun than the destination. Now, a good tawny port and a cigar- concern with the world's foundational problems can always be solved with the reflection. Scotch- for me that is liquid crack. If I decide to drink scotch, I will have nothing before and nothing after and no more than three. I used to hate the taste, until I went out with a girl whose Dad was a scotch connoisseur. I cannot explain it, but nothing good will happen after four servings. But, the first two are wonderful.

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    3. I'm stuck at your previous stage where Scotch is concerned. I tend to stick to beer, wine and tequila these days, but I can occasionally enjoy lots of other spirits. Except Scotch. I just really don't like the taste, and I wonder whether it tastes differently to different people, kind of like some people like cilantro and to others it tastes like soap.

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  8. Phooey on recreating the longer post, its late!

    On the topic of getting to tears, has anyone heard of, or maybe even tried Menthol Sticks? I hear they are an actors trick to help produce tears and can be used to start a flow that can become real during a DD workout.

    Clev_Tom

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    1. I could see that having some interesting applications for getting out of a spanking early . . .

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  9. Hi Dan, Great story about a very effective spanking. I recently placed an entry in the guestbook and hope to relate stories about my spankings.

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  10. I'm very happy for you. The net net of the whole thing is another household with an extremely capable DWC woman partnering with her man to make both of their lives better.

    I had my big moment of paying for driving home intoxicated about 15 years ago. I can honestly say that I never repeated that transgression.

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    1. This is a tough crowd. I tell everyone about getting my butt blistered, twice, and everyone keeps telling me they are happy. ;-)

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  11. I forgot to add another point. You mentioned perusing Disciplinary sites in anticipation of your upcomiomng session. I find myself doing that as well. I never really thought about why I do that. I guess it helps me in some way.

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  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  13. Hi Dan. PART 1:
    It was good to hear that your wife decided to give you what you asked for - except maybe how hard she initially spanked you. It’s interesting that you have to declare your offences and actually request punishment. If my husband repeatedly came home late having had too much to drink I can assure you that he would not have to ask to be disciplined. He would know he deserved it and would be expecting to pay his dues without him asking. His actions would be sufficient “request” to be thoroughly whipped and I certainly would not disappoint him. In my last posting I mentioned that my hubby seems to have many similarities to you and by coincidence I have had to deal with him very seriously this week. He has a challenge with his blood sugar readings and we have agreed that if he does not exercise his own self discipline with his snacking or eating then I will impose my form of discipline. I love him far too much to lose him or for him to suffer any debilitating effects from eating inappropriately. Last week we were sitting cuddled up watching a movie and he fetched a bowl full of chips and chocolate snacks. I reminded him of the spanking I had given him just two weeks before for inappropriate eating and warned him that he had better be careful. We became engrossed in the movie and I hardly noticed his hand dipping into the snacks repeatedly. When I glanced down he had demolished the entire dish. I immediately ordered him to kneel in front of me and I lectured him on self control and warned him that if his blood sugar reading the next morning was high he was going to be punished extremely severely. The following morning his reading was through the roof and I quietly informed him that I was going to treat him like an irresponsible child and give him a thorough beating. I mentioned in my last post that due to a hospital visit I felt that it would not be prudent to mark his bottom too much so I told him to be prepared to be disciplined directly after the hospital visit.

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    1. Hi Tina! Thanks for the contribution, and it sounds like you really found the formula for producing tears.

      Just to clarify, asking for punishment is not our regular routine. I am supposed to self-report bad behavior, but in the past we have avoided me asking for punishment or suggesting the severity. I did it this time because the situation really merited it, and I wasn't sure she would do it on her own. I would still prefer that she just take matters in hand herself, but I was pretty focused on being accountable for this particular situation.

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  14. PART 2:
    I also advised him that I was expecting him to cry during this punishment but even then I would not stop. He became very apprehensive and nervous as the time approached and to be fair I deliberately teased him about his upcoming whipping and how much it was going to hurt. After his check up I instructed him to go directly to the bedroom, position the spanking chair next to the bench, strip and stand facing the wall waiting for me. I had laid out his most feared implements on the bed so he could digest how serious this punishment was about to be as he prepared himself and the room. As I have mentioned in previous comments Tim has never cried during punishment but this time I really wanted him to tap into his deeper emotions so he would realize the catastrophic consequences of his not controlling his eating – I was determined to make him cry. I left him for 30 minutes realizing that his apprehension would be building, and then I came up the stairs slowly making sure he heard my footsteps. I entered the room and was filled with a sort of compassion as he looked so vulnerable standing facing the wall with his cute little butt naked and waiting for me. But today was not for compassion so I ordered him to stand in front of me and look at me. I then lectured him about how much I loved him and wanted nothing to happen to our relationship. I emphasized that even though I had warned him about his snacking he still chose to ignore me and had simply given into temptation so his punishment today was going to be extreme. I repeated that I did not want him to die or have major complications and I was fascinated to see that he was shaking with an emotional strained expression that seemed quite close to tears. I told him that his hands were somewhat responsible for his current predicament and instructed him to hold them out one on top of the other. I picked up one of his hated implements, a heavy black leather strap 2 inches wide with holes, and tapped it onto his hand. I lectured him some more building up his fear and then advised him he was going to receive six strokes on each hand very hard. So saying I raised the strap above my head and brought it down full force on his hand. I knew it must have been agonizing since just tapping my hand was painful and he just screamed and screwed up his eyes. I delivered all six to that hand and then told him to switch. He was already very emotional. After belting his other hand I told him not to rub them but to lie over my knee with his upper body supported along the bench.

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  15. PART 3:
    I began with a wooden paddle warming his backside but soon switched to this evil brush with yellow bristles that he really hates. It has a solid back about 4 inch square and really stings with a deep penetrating impact. I began bringing it down really hard and delivered a pattern of four or five strokes to each cheek on exactly the same spot. I could hear him choking up and beginning to become really emotional so I hit him even harder. Now I could really hear the sniffles but not any full blooded crying. As I spanked I continued to lecture him about how much I loved him and that I did not want to lose him. I then played a piece of emotional music which had been played at one of our friends funeral and which always had an emotional affect on him and sure enough as I continued to bring that brush down hard I could hear his gentle sobbing. I did not stop but continued spanking hard – I really wanted this lesson to sink home, I was not messing around. After what must have been ten minutes of solid spanking I helped him to stand hugged him, used a handkerchief for him to dab his eyes and blow his nose and then told him his punishment was not over. When he had more control I ordered him to lie on the bed. I was both amused and aroused to see him very nervously lay down on the bed with his dark red bottom glowing like a beacon. I told him to push his bottom up and I began spanking it with a similar brush to the one I used over my knee but this one had a long handle. I advised him he had to accept another 50 strokes with this brush and boy did I hit him hard. I raised the brush way above my head and swept it down hard onto his quivering cheeks. After the 50 I told him to remain in position and delivered a final 20 with the black strap. He was now a mess both physically and emotionally and I helped him to roll over and then I cuddled up beside him hugging him and telling him to calm down and that his punishment was over. I caressed him and wiped away his tears and warned him that although this had been the most serious punishment that I had ever administered he simply had to be more responsible - otherwise his next beating would be even worse. I seriously believe that he has learnt a very real lesson and that even though I had major reservations about whipping him so forcefully I believe that having broken him down emotionally it has been very successful. We had a debriefing session later and he was so adorable in his appreciation I just could not stop hugging him.

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    1. Tina, Your discipline sounds a bit like what I would receive. Eating at improper times or items is on my list of infractions as well. Also glad to see you use the concept of having him prepare himself for the discipline and them make him wait for your arrival. This happens to me often. The waiting is nearly as bad as the spanking.

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  16. DAN
    LIKE A FEW OTHERS, I SEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM PERFORMING IMMEDIATELY AFTER A DISCIPLINE SESSION. ANNA'S SOLUTION IS FOR ME TO ABSTAIN FROM RELEASE FOR MYSELF AND TO FOCUS TOTALLY ON PLEASURING HER ORALLY.
    I AM NOT ALLOWED RELEASE OF ANY KIND THAT NIGHT. IT HAS BECOME A WAY OF MY SHOWING HER THAT I WANT TO PLEASE HER AND THAT I CAN GIVE HER RELEASE WITHOUT MY HAVING IT.
    PETER

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    1. Hi Peter. Good to hear from you. I think our punishment routine would probably be more effective if we followed yours and did not let me have any release, but she sees that as still depriving herself.

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    2. Dan
      Your response makes me wonder if perhaps she knows you better than you think It seems to me that you are indeed doing things her way. Just a thought!
      anna

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    3. Hi Anna. Sort of. I think we are increasingly doing things her way, but partially because I keep trying to move things along toward her taking more and more control. It's not the fantasy ideal of a dominant woman who just takes over, but it's probably closer to the reality that most couples go through. There are times she definitely knows me better than I think, but other times she doesn't. I don't know how much anyone really knows another person and what really goes on inside. There are things where she probably has me dead to rights, and other areas where after 20+ years together, she still doesn't quite get what makes me tick, or vice versa. But, that's fine. Otherwise it would probably be predictable and boring as hell.

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  17. Anytime I read about your (or anyone else's) alcohol issues and punishment, I'm grateful that I just deal with men who come home late without calling, or masturbation without permission. It's been 2 ½ years since Shilo smoked a cigarette, no thanks to my discipline. It was actually a medical issue that got him to stop.

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    1. It does sound like they are not giving you a lot of good reasons to exercise your disciplinary dominance!

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    2. I guess that means it's working?

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  18. Dear Dan, I understand how you feel. My wife has convinced me to stop drinking. One night I got stopped by the police, fortunetly the female cop was friends with my wife and they left me off. She drove my car home while the other officer followed us. When we got home she went in the house and explained to my wife why she brought me home. She put me in the corner and told me she tend to me shortly. Thanking her friend for bring me home she told her I was going to get the spanking of my life. The police woman was thrilled when she heard that and said how would love to see that. My wife to her to come back when her shift was done and she would be more than happy to show her how to punish a deserving husband. Soon as the police woman left I started to plead and beg my wife not to spank in front of her. She always spanks me bare bottomed with her mothers old hairbrush till I am bawling like a girl. Around an hour later her friend showed up and my wife drug me by the ear to a straight back chair to a seat and pulled my pants down much to the delight of her friend as I beg and started crying be fore she even started to spank me. I was promising to be good that I would never drink again as my wife started with the hairbrush and gave a serious much needed good old fashioned spanking as she lectured me in front of the police who was enjoying the immensely. When she let me up I was crying uncontrollably not caring who could see or who was there. My wife put back in my corner sobbing making hold my shirt up to expose my fire engine red behind. I never took a drink after that. Bobby

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    1. None of my previous comments have been critical so if this one doesn't fit just delete it. I was a cop and the policewoman named here did not behave professionally nor did you wife handle this very well. You did not say how impaired your were so there is a question there involving her discretion. But while in uniform she should not have agreed to being involved in what amounts to an extrajudicial punishment. Had she agreed to serves as a witness when out of uniform and not connected to the stop, tha would have been fine.I am not opposed to a wife utilizing a witness to enhance the punishment but not this way, Secondly your wife should not have spanked you if you were impaired. The question of consent is raised by her doing so but so is the effectiveness of the spanking. Next day would have been better. Waiting until the next day would also made it less likely anger was distorting her judgement and less likely you could have been injured.I am not saying you did not deserve punishment or that including a witness was inappropriate. But the way it was done was not appropriate
      Carl

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  19. Carl, you are giving the posting more credibility than it merits. This is one of those that, if submitted to Penthouse would begin with, "I never thought this would happen to me, but . . ." followed by the writers wanking fantasy. Based on the writing, this one (plus two or three others in this chain and in last week's as well) is pretty clearly "Sean," who insists on posting the same general thing every single week including the standard scenes of him getting spanked, being put against a wall, and someone witnessing it, then he rubs his bottom and does his spanky dance. Over and over and over.

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    1. What a relief to see you calling out what are obvioulsy fiction/fantasy postings. I keep quiet about it because I don't want to be a trouble -maker. But this blog is all about genuine contributors and real sharing. Thanks.

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    2. Hi Tomy. I agree totally about wanting genuine contributors and real sharing. That doesn't necessarily exclude people sharing fantasies or fictional accounts. As you know, some of the best content on the DWC site is in the Fiction section. I'm also not comfortable that I can always discern whether a particular account is truth or fiction. Even on things like mother-in-law stories, there have been one or two contributors whose stories seem credible and have the ring of truth, even if 98 others are probably total BS. What really hacks me isn't so much stories that don't relate something that really happened, but rather these obsessive compulsive renderings of the same scenario over and over again, week after week, with only slight variations on the theme. It's just the conversational equivalent of farting in public. And, I'm just tired of one particular person farting on my blog every week.

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    3. Agree with your agree :) But for me, the Real People section on Aunt Kay's site have always been my favorites.

      And I also agree that sharing fantasies is great. Just not posing and pretending that it's real.

      I totally get your point that at times there is no way to know if something is real or not. But at other times, it is so obvious...I have been astounded at some things I have seen in real life that I would never have believed actually happen.

      Sorry about your troll. They are like fleas or roaches. All you can do is try to keep them mostly under control.

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    4. I do like the Real People section on the DWC, though when I look at it in terms of what it was about the site that put me on the DD path, it really is some of the fiction stories like Even More.

      Yeah, real life has a way of undermining our strongest belief about what could never happen in reality.

      The frustrating things about trolls is I find that what people advise me to doesn't really seem to work. I've had several bloggers advise me to just delete troll comments without responding, but I must get more persistent trolls than others do. They just keep coming, until I do something to escalate the conversation in way that sends them slinking away. And, I've seen the same thing in on other FLR blogs. The more the blogger excoriates the troll -- or just plain makes fun of them -- the sooner they go away. My theory is that most trolls are bullies at heart, and ignoring a bully tends to encourage them. They stop bullying after you pop them in the nose.

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  20. Dan your wife and my wife are kinda the the same page on how they deliver punishments. My wife will start at the beginning full force with the harshest implement. I had the same discussion with her about starting out so hard to no avail. My wife has told me she wants me to remember the pain of the spanking rather me crying or a submissive mind set. I do try to avoid them because of the sometimes overwhelming pain.
    Frank

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    1. Hi Frank. I think that is my wife's general view as well. Though, the problem I see in their thinking is they are just assuming that the pain is more of a deterrent than crying or becoming more submissive. I think the opposite is more likely true. I find the prospect of crying to be far more emotionally threatening than the hardest spanking is physically threatening. And, being humbler and more submissive means I am more likely to follow the rules in the first place.

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  21. Hi Dan
    I can relate to your experience of having trouble sitting after a severe spanking and having to hide the 'evidence' from others such as showering at the gym.
    My wife takes great pleasure regarding the fact her spanking is responsible for my sitting difficulty and loves to remind me of that and tease me about it.
    Occasionally she has 'hinted ' in front of others without actually stating the reason for my squirming.She likes to time my spanking prior to us going out to dinner and teases me about sitting on a spanked bottom.It's almost like the spanking continued for days.
    Thanks for sharing your experience.

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  22. Dan, I feel so bad for you. I really wish you could get the tears going. It feels so wonderful once you get there, it really does. Are you afraid you will feel embarrassed?
    There is no need to feel this way as you are there alone, with only your most trusted partner at the time. I had difficulty too, but once my wife brought me through to crying the first time, it has become almost easy now. I really hope you can achieve this. The first time was the most powerful experience for me. I sobbed in her arms for ten minutes.

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    1. Hi Anonymous. It's a complicated "problem," and if I knew exactly why I haven't gotten there it might be easier to solve, but I don't. I think it is a combination of things, including: (a) resistance to being embarrassed; (b) an absurdly high ability to take physical pain; (c) not being taken down a few pegs emotionally before the spanking starts; and (d) the pain being severe enough at the beginning that my resistance to it spikes in a way I can't control even if I want to. I do think it is likely to happen at some point, but so far, no.

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