Saturday, December 17, 2016

The Forum - Vol. 185 - All I Want for Christmas . . .

Hello all. Welcome back to the Forum -- our weekly gathering of men and women participating or interested in Domestic Discipline and Female Led Relationships.  I hope you had a great week. 

Personally, I think I have officially run out of gas for 2016.  Work has finally slowed down a little, but only after a crescendo of travel that included flying from coast to coast and up and down one coast over the course of a single week. And every place I went was gray, rainy and cold.  The one bright spot also turned into a mixed bag, and I'm relating this only because it bears a little on last week's topic. 

A couple of weeks ago, I set a new goal for myself, which was to give up drinking wine.  I've noticed that when I have a night that gets a little out of control where imbibing is concerned, or when I wake up feeling like crap even when I didn't have all that much to drink, 9 times out of 10 wine was the drink of choice or a very significant part of the mix.  It's just too easy to drink too much of it, and it seems to hit my system so fast that I go right from stone cold sober to very buzzed without a chance to moderate.  So, I decided to just stop drinking it.  And, I did so for about two weeks, avoiding it even at a work-related dinner where every other person was drinking wine.  I instead sipped a couple of beers and let everyone else think whatever they thought about my relative level of sophistication.  So, I was feeling pretty good about myself, tracking my day-to-day progress on an app I use to track various habits and goals and congratulating myself as I saw the number of consecutive days without wine growing and growing.  Then, at the tail-end of my travels, I went out to dinner with a business contact, and I was again good, sticking to beer, though we had three or four.  The problem happened when I went back to the hotel.  It is a small place and very into creating a "home like" ambiance for their guests, which usually includes a couple of open bottles of wine at the front desk.  The clerk offered me a glass as I was checking in, and without thinking about it at all, I had one!  We chatted for awhile, and she refilled my glass again and I took it up to my room, and it was only as I was finishing the second glass that I remembered my "no wine" pledge.  It literally did not occur to me once as I was consuming those glasses, even though just the day before I had been patting myself on the back about the self-discipline I was showing!  I was really, truly furious with myself for once again not even thinking about a rule before I broke it!  Now, this rule had been self-imposed, but my wife had in fact imposed a variant of it by banning me from a particular type of wine that seems to do particularly bad things to me.  But, it illustrated perfectly the problem we talked about last week of blazing right past a rule without even making the conscious decision to break it.  Damn, damn, damn. 

Well, on to more pleasant topics.  As I said last week in one of the comments, I am a Christmas junkie.  Despite usually being totally worn out and more than a little overwhelmed by the social commitments, I do love this time of year.  I love watching the old animated Christmas movies and It's a Wonderful Life.  I love coming home and seeing the lights on the houses and all the lawn decorations adorning the yards on our block.  I even like walking through the mall trying to find that perfect gift for each particular someone on my list.  Which brings us to this week's topic:


What if, if anything, would you like to get or give for Christmas or for the new year that is FLR or DD related?  A new paddle or strap, perhaps?  Maybe some naughty little DD or FLR accessory?  Or, maybe it's not a thing you want or need at all, but better or different behavior or some new DD or FLR practice? 

For us, there are a couple of things that come to mind. I did get her a new custom-made paddle.  I wanted something that was unique to her, so she'll be getting that as a stocking stuffer.  On the less material front, we have been talking a while about doing a DD and FLR "boot camp" and things were just so busy this year that it never happened.  I would like to remedy that in the near future, if not this month then early in 2017.

How about you? What do you want Santa to bring you, or what do you want to give your partner to celebrate the season or get 2017 off on the right FLR or DD footing. If you are planning a DD or FLR present, can you let people know where you got it?  I've tried to stay away from recommending commercial sites on this blog, to avoid the appearance I might be endorsing them and, frankly, to avoid disclosing personally identifiable information, but it is also good to direct newcomers to places where they can find high-quality or unique DD implements and accessories.

I hope you all have a great week.  I do think I will be blogging next weekend, but just in case there is a holiday interruption, if we don't talk, have a great holiday! 

If you are new to this Forum, please take a minute to fill out our Guestbook (tab above) and tell us a little about yourself and your DD or FLR relationship or aspirations. 

44 comments:

  1. If it were me and I felt as frustrated as you about slipping on a self-imposed improvement plan, I would probably talk with my wife and see if she offered to discipline me for it. Per her latest expectation, that would be an example of a time when I am supposed to directly ask for a session. But I am not claiing I know I would actually do that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I typically don't ask for a session, because I want to give her the room to take the initiative and order one. But, I did report the issue to her.

      Delete
  2. My wife has told me not to buy any more implementso for a bit as she is still getting used to the London tanners dd strap and slipper paddle. I was really wanting to buy the Johnny loopy and dd paddle but it will have to wait. Speaking of waiting. We are still newbies to this and I haven't been over her knee for over a week. I noticed that my behavior is slipping, seems my 'new leaf' is turning brown. I've been thinking that once a week should be enough to maintain my high levels of respect for her. Not sure if that's just me or a temporary condition due to holiday stress. Happy holidays and thanks for sharing. Bill

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you haven't experienced it yet, I will suggest that you may come to feel very happy that she forestalled you buying that Loopy Johnny. I have one from there, and it is an excruciating implement.

      Delete
  3. Shawn, Susan shows me the bath brush which was a gift to her from her. She knows I will mess up one way or another. She smiles and said this will be a gift that keeps on giving.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nothing DD related. Not this year. I just want things that willl keep me comfortable and happy. Warm socks and booties, Maryjane shoes (already found) and plenty of hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like a very simple and satisfying Christmas

      Delete
  5. Regarding a place to find "high-quality or unique DD implements and accessories".... I have been helping Aunt Kay to sell of her remaining inventory of implements. She has a few large, gorgeously-finished, "frat type" paddles that never made it onto her website. Let me know if I can help you find that something special. tomynash@gmail.com

    Moderator - If this post is appropriate in any way just pull it down. I will not be offended in the least

    ReplyDelete
  6. Replies
    1. Nothing inappropriate. Are the paddles the only remaining inventory she is trying to get rid of?

      Delete
    2. There is a lot of stuff. Almost all the implements on her website are still in inventory. She has one really unique cobra-head whip too. The "handle" is a genuine cobra head. Personally, I see it as a very cool decorative item. But it is perfectly functional.

      Thanks a lot.

      Delete
  7. Dan et al
    Anna has told me that it is up to me to report on what she says was my first preventative spanking. I will begin with saying when Anna first approached me with the suggestion of staying overnight at a hotel after my office's annual dinner dance I assumed the reason was so that we could party and have fun. She conveniently didnt mention a preventative session.
    Since my behavior in the past may have not been the best, I accepted my fate and reported to our room
    before the dinner. Anna had brought a change of clothing for me and told me to shower first. I confess
    coming out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around me, I was nervous. There on the bed was
    a wooden ping pong paddle, a rattan cane and an old black leather 2 inch wide belt
    Anna began by sitting side by side as she went over what she expected of me. She was not going to give me a limit on how many drinks I had, but wanted me to know there would be a second session when we returned to our room. First came the belt that stung but was bearable. I wont give the count but it wasnt a mere 25 trust me. After the belt came the paddle which i hate. When she stopped I was sore but coping.
    Then she told me she was going to shower, do her makeup and while she was doing that I was to stand in the corner. Know I was pissed but I stood there. When she came out she had me get back on the bed and repeated the first spanking. I wont lie I was on the verge of tears when she stopped. Then quietly she said the caning would only happen only in I wasnt a gentleman, after the party. Her final surprise was her order that I should go without briefs. The pants to the tuxedo she had packed were wool. She smiled kissed my cheek and said the pants would be a good reminder of what was expected of me.
    Long story short I behaved and had a moderate amount of wine and only one brandy after dinner. Instead of a caning and her anger Anna applied a soothing lotion to my very sore bottom. One event down and only 5 or 6 more to go before the challenge of New Years Eve.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry forgot to sign the above

      Peter

      Delete
    2. Glad to hear you succeeded in behavior yourself. I can't say the same about our office party a couple of weeks ago, but I've since made some progress. We had another Christmas party last year -- one at which I have gotten too "merry" in the past. This time I stuck to a few glasses of eggnog, stayed away from wine entirely, and woke up this morning in good shape. It didn't require a preventative spanking, but I still think we may institute them to prevent problems in the future.

      Delete
    3. Peter's story reminds me of how effective losing your underpants can be.Some spanked husbands talk about the power of being made to wear woman's panties before, during or after a spanking. But I read very little of men being stripped of their briefs as part of discipline> When we lived apart my girlfriend would sometimes during a phone conversation simply tell me she wanted me to " deliver my underpants" This meant I had about 20 minutes to strip off, put them in a zip-loc bag of some sort and report to her house to be spanked.After the spanking she either put me in a pair of her panties to wear for several days or just sent me home without any underpants for the rest of the day and until she gave me permission to put another pair on. It seems a simple thing but it was deeply embarrassing at the time and underscored that I had just been spanked as well as very uncomfortable.I wouldn't admit this to my wife but I would much rather be put in panties after a spanking than have my underpants taken away
      Alan

      Delete
  8. I've asked my wife to pick out a new implement of her choosing. I can't wait to hate it!
    CrimsonKing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May I add what a joy it was to have a dinner partner I was proud of and how much fun we both had. It was so nice to spend this nite away from home in a romantic mood. I much preferred gently massaging a smoothing cream to his bruises. If preventative discipline is the way I suggest more wives try it.
      A grateful wife
      anna

      Delete
    2. "Can't wait to hate it!" Absolutely brilliant. I want the Tee Shirt.

      Delete
    3. Turns out she had a wooden hairbrush I'd forgotten about. And was willing to try the giant paint stirrer I'd picked up at Home Depot. Now I can't wait to hate them again - Happy New Year!
      CrimsonKing

      Delete
  9. A couple of years ago I found a small shop that sold paddles I made my husband go with me to the shop I made him wait in the store with me while the saleslady helped me find the perfect paddle She looked at my hubby and I told her some young men never grow up - he gets to feel it often . Janet !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's awesome, Janet! Thanks for sharing.

      Delete
    2. Janet
      What a marvelous idea! We will be visiting family for the holidays andI think I will take
      Peter on just such a shopping trip. Think if I do it as a surprise it might add that extra
      wallop!
      Anna

      Delete
    3. That's almost exactly what happened when I took my hubby to a small dry goods store in rural France to select a martinet - and letting the lady who ran the store how it would be used (she approved!). L. was embarrassed (there were two other women in the store who may or may not have overheard the exchange) - but he was the one who paid for it! :-)

      J.

      Delete
    4. I also have a Spanking in progress sign I bought so when my hubby is going to receive a punishment spanking he has to carry the sign and hang it on the door it always makes him feel like a little boy and I always have him address me as Ma'am or Mommy during his spanking - I have a well behaved husband !Janet !

      Delete
  10. While it's probably getting a little too close to Christmas to get anything delivered in time, for future reference I've had good luck with paddles from Paddles by Walt and,for something more custom and personal, Miss Rose on Etsy has some really nice pieces in exotic wood. Adam & Gillian has some really nasty rubber straps and some other nice items. For really high quality straps, try the London Tanners.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I can relate that this is both effective and memorable (buying discipline instruments in a public place where it was made clear they were going to be used on me) It happened to me just once with the girlfriend who introduced me to discipline. She took me in a store in a large city near us known to sell paddles and related items. At the time she was shopping for a strap and made it clear to the young woman helping us it was to use on me.The woman never missed a beat but took us back to a large collection of straps pointing out the benefits of each. There were several other people in the smallish store and anyone cold hear her comments if they wanted.I would compare the experience to the first time being spanked in front of someone.Not as intense or embarrassing as that but a sort of public announcement that I was spanked and this was the woman who did it.
    Alan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can only imagine. One of my biggest hang-ups is public embarrassment, so I'm sure I would find something like that really mortifying. I've honestly gotten embarrassed buying paddles online if the seller asked by email whether it was going to used on me or on someone else.

      Delete
    2. Dan

      I think this would be an excellent practice for you and your wife to start in the New Year. At the very least you should have to go on your own pick it out and during the transaction make it clear the object being purchased is for use on you.

      : ) Happy Holidays

      Delete
    3. signed your friend
      anna

      Delete
    4. I agree Anna, though I'm not sure of where would go. Most of the adult stores that I know of near where we live don't have anything worth buying. Mainly just flimsy leather paddles. But, I'll give it some thought.

      Delete
    5. Hello Dan
      Anna's suggestion is wonderful. Those stores are plentiful in metro areas. you should find one and follow Anna's instructions. I think Peter is on his way to becoming an exceptionally well behaved husband.
      Marisa

      Delete
    6. Marisa

      We can only hope that is true! Happy Holidays to you !

      your sister I'm discipline

      anna

      Delete
    7. Thanks, Marisa. I probably need to search a little harder for the right store. I accept that I do need the humbling such a visit would entail. I hope you and Anna both have a great holiday!

      Delete
    8. For me even picking up the parcel at the post office is embarrassing. Will they know what is in the box. If coming from outside Canada will customs paperwork make it obvious. Will they know it's to be used on me?

      The fun nervous butterfly anticipation.

      Delete
    9. I hadn't really thought of that, but our postman is probably asking himself, "Why does that guy get so many packages that are about 18 inches long, four inches wide and an inch thick.

      Delete
    10. Dan
      Perhaps he feels you have a longing for an 18 inch long dildo! Merry Merry!!!

      anna

      Delete
    11. Or that SHE does!

      Merry Christmas to you and Peter!

      Delete
  12. Hello my name is logan and i am very new to all this. I am trying to figure out alot of feelings i have and need help i guess. Is this right were i am supose to be? Like i am second guessing my feeling and thoughts and overwhelming my fiece with all this. I am so lucky she is trying but it seems like i am trying to change her instead of trying to change me which is what i ask for. Which way is up? Sorry maybe this is not the spot but looking for real advice from real people

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Logan. I think any time a couple tries out a lifestyle that is radically different from what they've been doing, there are going to be difficulties. And, if a woman has not been Dominant in the past, she is in fact going to have to do some changing if she wants to be in that role now, and id you aren't used to submitting that is a very hard transition, too. But, it's all called "growth."

      Delete
    2. Hi Logan,
      Everyone is friendly here and interested in learning.This is the place for you if you and your fiancee are interested in Domestic discipline with a wife or girlfriend in charge and spanking a main form of discipline. You might want to go back and read some of the weekly discussions to get a better idea of specifics. When you are ready to ask questions just toss some out and there will be opinions offered ( on almost everything)One other thing I could add and that is keep your fiancee in close communication as you go forward. That is one of the keys to a successful journey in DD.
      Good luck
      Alan

      Delete
    3. Logan, you are fortunate to have found an outstanding resource, and a safe place.

      Delete
  13. All I want for Christmas is my mother-in-law to spank me like the first time, that first adult spanking I ever received. Awaken me from a night out late, having me take my jammies off, stand naked and be scolded, then over her lap for the spanking of my life. A simple request, Susan my wonderful wife, told me to post this, wants a record of my Christmas wish. Nothing to me like a spanking from a mature woman. Shawn

    ReplyDelete

Your comment will posted if/when approved by the moderator. This blog is a curated resource for those genuinely and positively interested in DD and FLR lifestyles. Comments that are rude, uncivil, inconsistent with the blog's theme or off-topic may not be posted or may be removed.