Hello all. Welcome back to the Forum: Disciplined Husbands & Disciplinary Wives. I hope you all had a good week.
Mine was pretty damn unproductive, which is becoming kind of a disturbing pattern. I finished off a huge project in September, and I've had some trouble getting back to anything resembling my normal work focus. It's kind of irritating, because I'm one of those people who actually like what I do and like being productive, so downtime just starts feeling like laziness. And, it kind of is. As I get older, I become more convinced that you can only maintain a frenetic pace for so long. At some point, you hit a wall and your performance goes down whether you want it or not. It's a humbling thing for a Type-A to admit, but true nonetheless. Anyway, that is what I was thinking about on this lovely Saturday as I face up to having to now spend time this weekend catching up on stuff I neglected during the week because of that lack of focus thing.
Speaking of humbling, I want to thank Aunt Kay again for stopping by and hope she will continue to do so. I would like to follow up on one thing she wrote for last week's post, making it this week's topic as it is similar to one I had planned to do anyway. Aunt Kay observed:
When we did things together with other DWC couples; like going to dinners, events, visiting for weekends, there was such a sense of liberation. Just hanging out, being able to talk about lifestyle stuff was amazing. It was like we knew we were special, we shared a kinky little secret when we were out among the rest of the world.
If you had an opportunity to interact in some more personal way with other husbands, wives or couples in the lifestyle, whether as a group or one-on-one, would that be something that interests you? I am not necessarily or even principally talking about group gatherings. It could be something as simple as a phone call between two Disciplinary Wives, exchanging ideas or boosting each others' confidence confidence in taking over their households. Or, maybe just an email between disciplined husbands exploring something they are struggling with or recounting their latest punishment. Or, for those slightly more open to it, meeting for a beer or dinner after "coming out" to a Wife, husband or Couple you know is in a DD or FLR relationship. What would your level of interest be in something like that? As I ask this question, I am acutely aware that this blog gets around 1500 to 2000 hits a day, far less than 10% of those comment at all, and of those, the vast majority do so anonymously. So, I am assuming the baseline level of openness to real conversations with others is pretty low, but you all may fool me.
When I originally planned to do this topic, I was thinking of it a little more in terms of mentoring or mutual support for the Wives. There are times when my wife simply retreats back into her conventional upbringing and has a hard time staying in the role of Leader. I think she also encounters those, "Does he really want it if I take a stronger lead" self-doubts. (Yes, I really do want it, is the answer to that one, by the way.) I think it could really help her get past those self-doubts if she had another Disciplinary Wife to chat with directly, whether by email, phone or in person. Now, whether she would be open to that is an entirely different matter. I really don't know. A few years ago, the answer would have been no, but things and people do change.
I am not, by the way, offering to be Master of Ceremonies at the kind of gathering Aunt Kay and Jerry are talking about. I do know that however much my wife and I have opened up, we aren't there yet. We still have careers that could be damaged if our "kink" was more widely known. But, a dinner with a particular couples, or maybe just a beer with one of the regular commenters if we happened to be in the same city some time, who knows? A few years ago, I probably wouldn't have been open to even that, but I am getting progressively less concerned about whether others find out, possibly because as I get closer to the end of my career than the beginning, I just don't care as much about what people think. I took a baby step in this direction last year, when I started wearing a necklace with a pendent containing a symbol that at least some BDSM enthusiasts might recognize as identifying a "submissive man" in that community. (I still don't quite self-identify as a "submissive," but if there is any kind of ornamentation or jewelry associated with Disciplined Husbands, I couldn't find it.) Now, most people would never even see this pendent, as it is under my shirt most of the time, but it is openly visible when I am in the gym though it's small and probably hard to see from more than a few feet away. But, if someone who was in the BDSM community saw it, they very well could recognize it. And, that level of openness at least is OK with me right now.
I am not, by the way, suggesting we explore with this topic the extent to which we are "out" to the vanilla world. We have done that before. and fairly recently. I'm really talking about, if the opportunity arose to interact in some more personal way with another Disciplinary Wife, Disciplined Husband or FLR/DD Couple, whether for mentoring or mutual support or just to get to know someone better who is in the one of these relationships would that be something you would be open to or interested in?
Have a great week. If you are new to our Forum, please take a moment to go to the Guestbook (tab above) and tell us a little about your DD or FLR relationship or aspirations.