Friday, October 21, 2016

The Forum - Vol. 179 - An Unexpected Honor

Hello all.  Welcome back to The Forum - Disciplined Husbands and Disciplinary Wives.  Our weekly gathering of men and women participating in, or interested in being in, a Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationship.  

I am getting an early start on posting this week, as I will be tied up most of today and Saturday.  

As you may recall, last week I put out an open invitation for our Disciplinary Wives to contribute in the form of guest post.  A few days ago, I opened my email and found one from a most unexpected source.  As I have stated on this blog many times, my interest (obsession might be the better word) in Domestic Discipline began with the Disciplinary Wives Club website.  I stumbled upon it almost by accident, and it is not hyperbole to say that in many ways my life was never the same.  Within a few days, I had timidly told my wife about the concept, tested the waters on her willingness to give it a try, and then found myself buying a hair brush on her instructions.  Over a decade later, she is still blistering my bottom when deserved.  Finding the DWC website helped me open up to a side of myself I didn't know existed, while also empowering my wife way beyond what she had thought was possible in our marriage.  So, I owe a lot to Aunt Kay of the DWC, and I have always hoped this blog might have a similar impact on even one couple.  Imitation is indeed, in this case, the sincerest form of flattery.  



So, my heart jumped when I saw an email address that I had seen more than once when visiting the DWC website.  After picking my jaw up off the floor, I read her very gracious email that included a kind offer to contribute to our little community.  A couple of days later, I received the following:

"Hello Dan,

My Hubby recently showed me your blog and since then I have looked through many of the entries.  I like what I saw. So I am happy to contribute.

Your question to wives was “what it has done for your marriage and/or for you and your husband's growth and development, any areas where you would like to see it further develop.” I could write a whole book answering just that.   

What it has done for me and what it has done for the marriage is part of the same answer.  Early in our relationship he told me about his spanking needs.  I had never heard of F/m spanking or in fact any kind of adult spanking. But as he likes to say, I was a “natural” at it. There were some really challenging circumstances when we were first together and having that outlet; the ability to spank the daylights out of him when he was being unreasonable made all the difference.  It gave me a method to direct his growth and we have both very happy with how it turned out. Of course it is an ongoing, never ending project. But unless I am really angry at the time, I kind of enjoy spanking him.
For me personally, it was an astonishing discovery. The intimacy, the pleasure, and especially the results were unbelievable. And being a Teacher, I felt compelled to share it. So I started the Disciplinary Wives Club because I wanted others, for whom this lifestyle might be appropriate, to know about it. I never dreamed it would become so famous or that we would meet so many people from around the world.

We made friends with other couples and that was a whole other unexpected outcome. I never imagined disciplining anyone but my own husband. But it became easy for me after a while. I learned that some men need a lot more intensity than my Hubby and I had some really fun times delivering longer and harder sessions that he could ever endure.  I still recall smiling to myself as I watched Jerry head off with another DWC wife to get a spanking.

When we did things together with other DWC couples; like going to dinners, events, visiting for weekends, there was such a sense of liberation.  Just hanging out, being able to talk about lifestyle stuff was amazing. It was like we knew we were special, we shared a kinky little secret when we were out among the rest of the world.

I see that you have some experienced and thoughtful women who participate in your Blog.  I hope that more wives join in and that some of you find the bravery to meet one another in person.  I will say this; just like any other aspect of life there may or may not be personal chemistry initially when you meet another couple. But it seems to me that people made the extra effort due to our common spanking interest to make it work out.

Aunt Kay"

I hope that Aunt Kay will keep reading and maybe be willing to respond to any comments on this post.   In any event, Aunt Kay, thank you so much.  I cannot think of a better way to kick off my attempt to get our Disciplinary Wives telling us more about their own journeys.

As always, if you are new to our Forum, please take a moment to go to the Guestbook (tab above) and tell us a little about yourself and your DD or FLR relationship.

Dan

45 comments:

  1. Joan, my husband had me read this and dared me to respond, since he knows our lifestyle is known to only a few. So here it goes, my best girlfriend informed me several years ago when I complained about my husband how she addresses the problem. I was shocked surprised, and when she said I could witness this, she would call me. It was several days later and she called, I made up an excuse to my husband and went over. Sure enough her husband was standing there, only underpants, she was sitting on a chair with hairbrush in hand. He had to tell me what he had done and then he begged his wife not in front of me. She had him over her lap and soon his underpants were around his ankle. He acted just like a naughty little boy getting a spanking and when she finished his underpants had been kicked off and he quickly went to face the wall. I thanked her and a day or so later talked to her about this. Well my husband wasted no time being foolish and on a Saturday morning I got dress quickly and told him he could lounge around in his jammies. I had my girlfriend come over and he had no idea until I gave him a choice, I was mad and I said divorce or my punishment, he just looked and finally said my punishment. Oh my friend is going to provide it and a lot of no-way when he heard about the spanking and not her he said. I looked at him and told him to get over her lap now and he did, and for protesting I said these are coming down and I pulled the bottoms down and off. My friend did a nice job and explain things that I had not thought of. My husband danced around the room, rubbing and crying until I said face the wall no rubbing. He was gone for sometime and then he messed up, I had him stand before me and pulled the pants and underpants down and he protested but once over my lap I was in charge and it felt good. He squirmed, pleaded, I could care less, I let him dance around the room and then face the wall. Today our marriage is stronger, he is better, the spankings help and help a lot. When he is getting a spanking he does as told and when he is very naughty I make him remove all and stand and wait for me. My girlfriend and I will talk about the spankings, only once did both mess up at the same time and boy did they look cute displaying there spanked bottoms while facing the wall.

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  2. I believe Aunt Kay's pioneering blog gave many of us the courage to first spank our husbands enriching and probably saving many marriages. Just the sense of empowerment I have gotten would have been reward enough but spanking him has given him the boundaries and consequences in life he needs ( and many other men lack)I still laugh at some of the feminist's today who talk about empowering women. They don't have a clue
    Sandra

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    1. Joe2 here

      You are so right about feminists. Women have incredible power over men. They just have to know how to do it and use it to improve themselves, their situations, and their loved ones.

      I active try to live to the motto that "I make the living and my wife makes life worth living." I am so blessed with my wife. God and she keep me grounded. Men and women are very different. I believe that God made us this way so we complement each other (1+1=3). Men like risk, adventure, and performance (I lifted X lbs last time, so let's see if I can do X+1 this time). Those traits cause society to improve, but they also cause pain, suffering and unbridled activities (seek power or alcohol). Most men need a woman to rub the rough edges off and act as a governor to her man's passions.

      One of my brothers-in-law is an extremely hard man. His beliefs are set as a foundation to his life. He is a small farmer and works extremely hard to provide for his family. Without knowing him, you would think that his wife would be a shadow in fear of her life. However, his wife is the center of his universe. She knows what buttons to push and how to do it with love and concern. I once watched him (in front of others) flip 180 degrees on a decision because she said it was important to her. After she walked away, he looked at us and said, "That [decision] was a small thing. My love for her and her love for me is a big thing." Coming from a man that makes eating gravel look easy, we all nodded and agreed with him.

      In the alternative, my sister-in-law never got the class on how to use her power and doesn't seem interested in learning. She is unusually beautiful and brilliant (got her PHD a year ahead of schedule), so you would think she would have mastered those skills. Nope, it is "her way or the highway." Which is really sad because it is obvious that she and my brother love each other. At a very unguarded moment, my brother told me how hard it was to stay married top her. I have a feeling that when she hits menopause (or as my mother-in-law calls it "her period of insanity") things might go south.

      I'm of average height, so I never tried to make the basketball team. A women shouldn't try to act like a man. She has plenty of innate skills as a woman to achieve her goals. My boss is a female. She does not try to act like a man (and we are in a very male dominated industry), but she uses her female skills to get the same result. She expects that I open the door for her, she expects that I will try to push the envelope, and she will ensure that my performance meets the company's expectations. She does this as a female acting feminine. Her husband worked with his hands until he started his own company. She was the one that pushed him to start his own company, or as she says it- she got tired of hearing him complain about "those ignorant and a##hole bosses." He is still very rough at the edges, but she tells me that "pick what is important and learn to enjoy those other features."

      Sorry for going on a diatribe, but I am so tired of society trying to make people act against their nature; where if directed properly they would build on the strong points and minimize their weaknesses.

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    2. Joe2 again

      Oh, I forgot to add the feminine skill of "cunning." Men are direct. We can get into a fist fight and still be best friends. Women aren't built that way.

      I will give an example. When my boss hit the mid-level of her career (in a male dominated business), she quickly realized that when dealing with other companies her counterparts did not think much of her because she was female. Rather than complain, she adopted a traditional Chinese strategy. When she went to meet with the representatives from another company, she took a big rough guy to act as the company's representative. She sat off to the side and watched and made her decisions based upon her observations. Women are much better than men at looking at the shadows and body language. If she needed to express her dominance, she had a slight hand signal to the "rough guy with her." Upon that signal, he would ask my boss what she thought and she would give her decision. Usually the other side would state their objection. To which the rough guy would say, "Hell, I have to go her way or she would fire his a##." Point made, she set her dominance and things usually proceeded as needed.

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    3. Thanks, Sandra. Thanks for joining. Glad to hear it has been an empowering journey for you.

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    4. Thanks, Joe2. While I agree with some of this, I can't tell if you are advocating that men and women maintain their traditional roles, with men making a living and women making them better men. If that is the message, I have to take issue with it. I want to see BOTH genders have the freedom to be themselves. You say that "Men like risk, adventure, and performance." True, but so do a lot of women! And I know many men who are entirely risk averse, and I know PLENTY of men who are low performers. I don't deny that there are gender-related differences in how, on average, people think and act. But, while there are averaged differences between the genders, the differences AMONG the members of each gender are huge. I'm all about giving everyone the freedom to be the strongest, most effective them they can be. There are women who want to lead. There are men who want to follow. There also are men like me who want to lead in most aspects of their lives, but who also know they would be more effective if some of those Alpha tendencies were mellowed out a little. And I'm sure there are many women who feel the same.

      So, for me, what makes us different is a lot more interesting than what makes us the same, and I believe that everyone should have the freedom to pursue what it takes to fully exercise whatever potential they have, including whatever level and mixture of of dominance and submission works for them.

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    5. Joe2,

      Dan- Using your words, what I wanted to express is "BOTH genders have the freedom to be themselves."

      Sometimes the more I say, the less others understand.

      Delete
  3. Joe2 here

    Wow. Every community has a few people that rise up to star status. Through their efforts they influence many in that community and encourage others to join. They are knowledgeable, communicate well and are personable. Aunt Kay is one in our community.

    I read DWC long before I talked to my wife. Additionally, from reading comments from others on this blog and other blogs, DWC has had a very positive impact on many others.

    It speaks to Aunt Kay that she took the time to send you not only a message, but very good and lengthy message. She certainly isn't getting paid to make comments, so she must be impressed; which speaks highly of you and this blog.

    Because of the uniqueness of our situations, we will never meet. But having people take the time and effort to set up and operate these sites, the rest of us do not feel alone and we can learn from each other.

    Thanks.

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  4. The woman who introduced me to F/M spanking was not aware of Aunt Kay as far as I know.My wife however benefited a lot from the DWC site. She had been involved in a not completely consensual DD relationship in which she received punishment spankings. Eventually she got out of that relationship and with the help of the DWC figured out which side of the paddle she belonged on and how and when to use that paddle.When I met her I didn't have a chance ( thank God) She had read everything on Aunt Kay"s old site and knew how to handle a male who had already been trained to accept female authority.I have often wondered how many other women escaped abusive relationships and found their inner Dom because of the DWC. That is really what Aunt Kay did I think, give women permission to be disciplinarians in intimate relationships. I know a lot of men like me who thrive in a spanking relationship have benefited greatly but I suspect many women have as well who were encouraged to warm that first male ass because of the DWC
    Alan

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    1. Hi Alan. Agreed 100%. An interesting aspect to me is that it does seem to usually be the man who discovered the DWC, or this blog, but he then shows it to her, she reads some of the content, and finds that something resonates. When I brought the DWC to my wife, I had no idea how she would react, but if I had to bet I would have predicted some level of rejection, because it was just so different from where we were at that time. Yet something DID resonate, and she gave it a try.

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  5. Dan

    Had Aunt Kay and the DWC not been shown me, I doubt that I could have adjusted to what was expected of me. At the time Peter and I began to explore DD I was very angry about many aspects of his behavior.
    But here was a site that discussed DD not as kink but as a way to make a marriage work.
    Slowly we move more and more to a FLR and it is working. To me the best part of this all is to see the
    changes in our sons as they begin to copy Peter's behavior. He is thoughtful and demonstrates daily to the boys what it means to be a man.

    Anna

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    1. Thanks, Anna. My wife felt the same way when I showed the DWC to her.

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  6. My husband David first showed me Aunt Kay's website in the mid-nineties when we had just started having our children. He recognized that he needed to be a better husband and a better man especially since he was becoming a new father at the time.
    Having been raised in a male-oriented family, I thought it was odd at first. Growing up, my father decided what we watched on TV, what music we listened to in the car and what car we drove. My mother had very little say. My husband was no different. Early in our marriage, I spent many occasions trying to talk to my inattentive husband while he watched football or some other sport. So when my husband introduced me to the DWC, I thought why not? I saw the benefits of disciplining my husband almost immediately. Once I started spanking him, he became much more attentive and much more focused on me! It was wonderful. It was just as she said too. The harder I paddled his bottom the more he appreciated me.
    I am very grateful for her website and her valuable incite. I purchased all of her books and many of her videos. It wasn't long before I was corresponding with her personally and discussing domestic discipline with her over the phone.
    Over the years, I have purchased various implements from Aunt Kay, including my favorite, "The Schoolmarm" paddle. Once when David had misbehaved and was informed that he was getting a spanking when he got home from work. I called Kay on the phone and told her about his behavior in which she agreed he deserved a spanking. When David got home that evening, he showered and then reported to me for his discipline. I sent him to the corner and then gave her a call. Kay lectured my naked husband over the phone while he stood in the corner. I went and got my paddle while David took her scolding. It was fun watching him turn beat red in embarrassment! My husband then handed the phone to me as I put her on speaker phone. I ordered David over my knee for his spanking. Once my husband was over my lap, I informed her that my naughty boy was over my knee with his bare-bottom ready for my paddle. Kay asked him, "So Dave, what happens to naughty boys?" My husband contritely replied "They get a spanking." "That's right, they get a hard bare-bottom spanking!" "Jeanne, I think this naughty boy is ready for his spanking." I then paddled his bottom hard while she listened in. Lucky for him it was before the days of face-chat so she didn't get to watch his rump roasting but I know she enjoyed listening to it.
    I no longer have to spank my husband as often as I used to. Although we keep our domestic disciplinary relationship a secret from our friends, I have enjoyed sharing it with her. I wish more women were open-minded to spanking their husbands. Paddling is far more effective than nagging! I have also found with experience that milking him before I paddle his bottom makes his spanking much more effective. My husband is much more affectionate and focused on me. Regular discipline has made him a better husband, father and human being. Aunt Kay's advice had much to do with that. Jeanne (Houston,Texas)

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    1. Hello Jeanne. Thanks for sharing. I hope you'll continue to do so in the future.

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  7. Indeed a great moment to have Aunt Kay writing here! I hope She comes back and writes more. We're another couple who benefited from Her site a long time ago. She let me open up to my Wife about my need for more discipline, and how to achieve it!! A skeptical Wife can get new ideas when exposed to certain web sites. Sam

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    1. Hi Sam. I too hope Aunt Kay will drop by regularly.

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  8. I find both this blog and this particular thread to be very encouraging. The concept of women using spanking as actual punishment really fascinates me. It has always struck me as though it should be highly effective. For some reason many dominant women on FetLife say that they don't use punishment. Those that do tend not to talk about it much.

    I have been advised to not seek this dynamic with vanilla women as most people have said that it wouldn't be likely that a vanilla would be interested. However I'm quite pleased to read how numerous previously vanilla women on this blog have embraced discipline as a tool and apparently an effective one at that. This encourages me to at least bring the subject up in a vanilla relationship and see what happens.

    I_ObeyHer
    (my FetLife name)

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    1. Hi IOH. I think the reality is kind of the opposite of the advice. You have gotten. A dominant female suggesting the DD relationship is plainly the exception (and to a bit extent the fantasy), not the rule. Instead, it is usually (though obviously not always) the men who initiate it, usually to their previously vanilla wives.

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  9. Dan

    I write this entry on the orders of Anna who wrote so lovingly about me yesterday.

    Yesterday as Anna was writing to you I was watching the Seahawks/ Cardinals with
    some buddies from college. It was a great game and good to just be hanging with old
    friends. Sadly after the game a couple of us went for ribs and a few more beers.
    Long story short I stumbled in around nine. To make matters worse I had driven home.
    loaded. That is one thing that drives her wild. Anna said nothing other then told me to
    go to bed at once.
    This morning when I woke there was a note from Anna. She had taken the boys to school
    and said she had called my office to say I wouldn't be in till noon. When she returned she
    was visibly upset. In that quiet way that wives have when they are trying not to cry or to yell
    she told me to lay the paddle and belt on the bed and to be prepared to pay the price.
    Minutes later i was bent over the upholstered chair in the bedroom, she came in without
    saying a word used the paddle on me 50 times. Quietly she told me if I ever drove drunk
    again there would be no punishment there would be a divorce. She then proceeded to
    use the belt until I was truly in tears.
    The point of this entry is to say even a man as lucky as I am to have a wife and family that
    I have, sometimes needs to be reminded.

    Peter

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  10. I have read both Peter's and Anna's comments with pleasure for their candor and insight into the DD dynamic. But I strongly disapprove of her threat to divorce if a similar offense occurs. I understand her frustration but the essence of the DD relationship is the implicit understanding that a husband will submit to his wife and take any punishment she administers in return for forgiveness and absolution of any remaining guilt. My wife has administered severe punishments and was still not satisfied but she either put me back in the corner and then repeated it all over again or sentences me to multiple spankings over several days ( only happened a few times) But she never threatened divorce and IMHO that should never be the outcome of discipline
    Ed

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    1. While I would hope that any future offense would result in something short of divorce, that's not my place to address. That is for Anna and Peter to work out. I do need to point out, however, that Anna's threat does not seem to be inconsistent with your "implicit understanding" theory. She DID forgive him after THIS incident. Her threat relates to possible repercussions in the future should the offense be repeated.

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    2. Dan

      Not to split hairs but driving drunk and endangering his life and the security of his sons is not something to be tolerated. Without going into details trust me i have good reason for feeling so
      strongly about this.
      anna

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    3. Not doubting it Anna. That's why I said it's not my place to second guess you, or to lecture Peter. I can't/won't do the former, because I know why you feel strongly. Can't do the second, because I'm not that big a hypocrite.

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    4. Dan

      YOU ARE THE VERY BEST !

      Aanna

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    5. I must not have seen the first message about drinking/driving and being deserving of a spanking---it was a message between Dan and Anna--May I comment on a long standing rule in our family---driving having had too much to drink ( not drunk) is automatically a bare paddling offense---I have done it occasionally and have paid with a paddling that hurts my naked butt like crazy---and my sons have the same automatic penalty---so there is very little drinking driving---but it sometimes happens---no argument from us- any guy living under this roof gets his bare butt paddled for drinking/driving-she may have saved our lives or others---any others between Dan and Anna and me????

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    6. Same here. Some of the most severe spankings have been due to alcohol. These days I absolutely never drink too much and drive. One beer; maybe if I am daring and it's a longer event, one and a half.

      She will always ask exactly how much I drank and I cannot lie to her.

      Many years ago I came home from a big corporate party - way over the limit (I should not have been driving.) She made me pay for it the next day with ample use of several implements. That was the last time I drank too much and got behind the wheel. So maybe saving lives? Yes I agree.

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    7. I fully support Anna in her decision to mention divorce. Peter is lucky that he didn't get arrested or have a horrible accident.

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  11. Hi Peter. I had a similar issue a week ago that went largely unpunished for various reasons, and exceeding my limits is one of those habits that DD never quite seems to fix for me. So, I am in no position whatsoever to lecture on this one. Good luck in making a course correction on this. And make sure you have that Uber/Lyft app ready at all times.

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  12. Dan

    It has been almost 9 hours since Anna reminded me of a few things. From how hard it was to sit today,
    i think i will be on top of all rules for a bit ! Ouch!!
    peter

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  13. I want to thank both Dorothy Spencer ( i.e. the Spencer Spanking Plan, who recommended spanking to resolve marital issues) my first read. This was followed by my discovery of Aunt Kaye and her DWC blog (this time recommending wives spank husbands who deserved them and needed correction). Actually I think Dorothy Spencer came up with her plan to encourage wives to spank errant husbands even though she made it seem fair for both spouses to be spanked.
    I found these sites because my wife and I were having problems, arguing, fighting, extended silent treatment, etc. It grew more pronounced when I retired early. I was not a good listener, was over controlling, sometimes treated my wife as if she were my secretary, and had a short fuse, amongst other faults. Anyway, a bell went off in my brain that it was me, and not my wife, that was the problem and introduced her to both the Spencer Spanking Plan and the DWC suggesting I needed discipline and she could provide it. She read the material, agreed I needed discipline and agreed to provide it. We entered an agreement listing the areas needing improvement and both agreed on them. We next agreed the penalty for violations would be spankings and my wife would have total control over how hard and long they would be.
    Entering into and living up to this agreement was the best thing that ever happened to put our marriage back on track and make me a better and more loving husband. It is simple and it works!
    I just had a recent example of this. My wife and I were on a short driving trip about a week ago and things were great until we decided to stop at Costco and get gas and some groceries before we drove home. My wife couldn't find her Costco card and her credit cart and thought she might have thrown them away with some paper she cleaned out of the car at the gas pump. In stead of being supportive I jumped all over her. Then I looked on the floor of the back seat of the car and there they were. My wife was livid with me and I went into Costco alone while my wife stayed in the car fuming. When I got back in the car and started driving home she told me my behavior was disgusting (and it was) and as soon as I put the bags and groceries in the house she was going to paddle my ass until it was black and blue. I admitted I was wrong and apologized. That changed nothing and when we got home she paddled the daylights out of me. When she was done she threw the paddle on the bed and left the bedroom. I just lay there for a few minutes recovering. Then I got up, my wife was sitting in the living room, and I went to her and apologized, I told her I deserved every swat she had given me, and asked if she would forgive me. She got up, hugged me and said yes, but don't you ever do that again. Within 30 minutes after getting home the bad behavior was taken care of and we were back to normal. I might add, I was really sore because it had been more than 4 months since I last was spanked.
    Had this happened before we had our DD agreement it would have been silence and separate beds for a very long time with frustration eating away at both of us.
    Having a loving wife who will hold me accountable for bad behavior is a gift I cherish. Her spankings are almost unbearably painful and seem like they will never end, but when its over I Know I have paid the price for my bad behavior, and feel cleansed and my wife has rightly had her retribution. We were able to quickly and properly solve the behavioral issue without lingering anger and disruption in our lives. So thank you Dorothy and Aunt Kaye for showing us the way.

    Fred

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    1. Thanks, Fred. Great example of DD working and clearing the air. I have read, btw, that Dorothy Spencer was actually not a real person, but I have no idea whether that's true.

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  14. Proud former member if the sore bottom club here. Kay and Jay visited our house in early nineties, in fact I think that was when Jay first tasted the cane. It was a warm weekend, so to speak. I think we used their Shadow Lane tickets in '91. First time I was spanked in "public." Glad to see Kay is still active and doing well. Eric

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  15. A big thank you to Aunt Kay and to you, Dan, coming from the other side of the pond. I have no idea whether my Wife has read either the DWC, or this blog, even though I have left both pages open, knowing she regularly checks my online activity. If Sweetie chooses not to say, then who am I to badger an extremely busy lady? She can be as strict as I need at times (of her choosing) and I should be happy with that. I have found being patient in leaving the development of our agreement in her capable hands to be the best overall approach. I should say, the idea of a local, Female-Led community of Wives keeping their husbands in line and sharing resources, remains my idea of utopia.

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    1. That would indeed be a kind of utopia for a lot of us.

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    2. The DWC "Gatherings" were organized events where several couples got together; usually for a weekend. As well as activities designed simply for everyone's fun, there were women-only sessions where issues were discussed.

      The high point was the "Confessional" event. In advance, the men submitted a written description of something in their lives, past or present, that they felt needed punishment. Aunt Kay studied these and based on her judgement, assigned one of the other wives in the group to administer the spanking in private.

      Only the disciplinarian and Aunt Kay ever saw the confessional letter. It was amazing.

      Oh and the camaraderie, good food, and other activities were usually excellent.

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  16. Dan,

    The DWC was what inspired me to approach my wife for discipline - she read it through many times and then agreed to enter a DD relationship. She ordered the Ferule, otk cane and hollering hollow cane from the site. I cannot tell you how well used those implements have been over the years.

    Dan, this must confirm for you that you are on the right track with what you do here on this blog- that is providing a forum for DD couples (current or future)in a 'safe' honest way and carrying on the flame from what Aunt Kay started. Congratulations and thank you. CRM

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    1. Thanks, CRM. That was kind of the goal, or at least it has become one.

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  18. Hello Dan,
    I had no personal exposure to the DWC site before Jay's first spanking but interestingly enough he had ordered one of her spanking instruments ( a thick hairbrush style paddle with DWC imprinted on it)before we were married. He never told me about it but finding it one day ( OK I was snooping)is what first gave me the notion we could resolve our marital problems with corporal punishment ( my experiences growing up had something to do with that too.) To this day Jay does not know that I found his brush and he doesn't need to know.I have no desire to spank him with it because I have a well founded suspicion he has felt it already ( before our marriage) and don't want to go there. But another DWC story with a happy ending ( even though his end is not always happy about it
    Marisa

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    1. Hi Marisa. That's great! Such a roundabout impact by the DWC, though an impact nonetheless. So to speak.

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  19. Hi. My wife of 40 years and I have always has a little s&m play. I've had chronic pain for some time but weaned myself off prescribed pain meds 9 month ago. The return of my libido surprised both of us and pestered her a bit. She has always known I am bi and encouraged me to find a buddy. Easier said than done and it's actually very stressful.
    I happened across FLR and DD. Neither of us wanted the responsibility for keeping me "good" or punishment for "infractions." I did not want playful kink. We both wanted something real. For the past month we have fallen into a new pattern. Every morning she brings me to orgasm or she watches me masturbate. After a bit of peace, she gives me a moderately severe spanking with a switch I cut for her. It's not for any transgression but just because. S&M is a sexual release. This is emotional and I usually cry. In the afternoon, I pleasure her if and how she likes. The result comes closer to FLR. I am much more attentive her, her well being, her moods and her needs. It's not because I fear her punishment, discipline comes daily anyway. I am happier, have a clearer head, am more productive and get to have some natural endorphins in my brain. What she gets out of it is unclear, but she is much, much happier too.

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely love the way you have come to understand yourself and create a unique, personal, lifestyle that makes life nice re for both of you.

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