Saturday, September 3, 2016

The Forum - Vol. 172 - Modern Communication

Hi all. Welcome back to the The Forum -- Disciplined Husbands and Disciplinary Wives.  Our weekly gathering of men and women participating or interested in Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led Relationships.

Based on the activity level, it seems that everyone out there is just as busy as I am at the moment.  It's that time of year, isn't it? School starting.  Football season kicking off.  And, unfortunately, I am still tied up (and not in a good way) with something for work through the end of next week.  But, I did not want to let another week go by without some discussion.  So, her is an easy one:



Have you ever received a text or phone call saying you will be spanked when you get home or that you need to come home from work or whatever you are doing to get a spanking? For me, one of the most memorable happened fairly early on in our DD relationship.  We had been doing it for only a few weeks, and we had purchased a very nasty implement called a prison strap.  I was at work one morning, when my wife called.  She had the day off for some reason, and we chatted for a bit and she asked if I had a busy afternoon ahead.  I really didn't (for once) and said so.  It was a well laid trap on her part, because as soon as I said I wasn't that busy, she said, "Good.  Then at lunch you are to drive home, go directly up to the bedroom, get out my new strap and get ready for a very bad spanking."  I have no memory of what I had done to earn it, but I very much remember the anxiety I felt all morning, almost literally watching the hands on my office clock tick closer and closer to noon.  We lived only about 15 minutes from my work, but that drive felt like hours.  I got home, and she was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper.  I started to walk into the kitchen, and without looking up she said, "I told you to go upstairs immediately, and that's what I meant. Go."  I did, and she came up a few minutes later and delivered what was, up until that time, probably the hardest spanking I had ever taken.  When it was done, she very calmly said, "Get dressed and go back to work."  I spent the rest of the day sitting on a very, very sore and well strapped bottom.

Any similar stories to share?

As always, if you are new to the Forum, please stop by the Guestbook and tell us a little about yourself and your DD lifestyle or aspirations.

33 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. All of the time my wife likes to send me cryptic messages through text and email letting me know I have one coming. If anyone else sees them they would have no idea what she means.

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  3. Dan
    Maybe two years ago I related this incident but it is worth repeating. My wife's brother is the kind of guy who wants you to know he has some bucks. At my nieces wedding he was going around full of himself.
    I had consumed more than a bit of champagne , and as he approached a small group of family friends I said rather loudly Your here to tell us just how much this wedding has set you back?" A few of the group laughed he was hurt and left. My wife's message to me was clear. No phone or text needed. We went up to our room at the hotel and i was bare assed and being punished with a long and harsh belting. Then she
    ordered me to go back and to beg her brothers forgiveness. I did that even said it so others could hear me.
    He huged me and said my comment hadn't ruined the day. My wife later as we went to bed reminded me never to do that again. Her method? Another 100 swats.
    Scott

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    1. Hi Scott. I remember this one. The apology probably hurt as much as the belting.

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  4. This occurred the year I retired. My wife texted we need to have a " discussion " when I got home and to purchase a new brush for her use on my way. When I got home she approved my choice. She pulled out a kitchen chair , sat down and called me over. She asked " do you know what this is about ?" . I said no and she said over my knee this might remind you. She gave me a moderate spanking. Not too bad. She said think about it and I'll ask you again tomorrow. The next day she said do I have anything to say ? I rattled off a few things and she " nope " and gave another moderate spanking and said one more time tomorrow. The next I thought I had it figured out. She was in the kitchen cooking. When I told her she again said no and I got a third the same as the others. She said one final time tomorrow. If I didn't figure it out she was going to give me the hardest paddling of my life. It was Saturday a X I was watching tv in the bedroom. She came and said " well ? ". I said I couldn't think of a thing. She pulled the chair out from the vanity and a 10". 3/8 thick paddle from the dresser. She called me over and said over my knee. She pulled my pants down and rubbed the paddle across my bottom. She said last chance. You know what's going to happen. I said yes ma'am I can't think of it. She said I believe you. I just wanted you to confess to all the things you were doing and thought you were getting away with. She did give me a paddling but it was very mild. How she thought of that I'll never know.

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    1. That has to be one of the best stories I've ever heard. Thanks.

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  5. Texting is so rampant now that I really can't think of any special story involving it. It has merely become one more way to communicate an issue or warn someone about an impending punishment. Rosa tends to be amused by me being in trouble even as she is serious about the issue itself.....and she does like to use texting to inform me of her intentions.

    I wish I had something juicy to offer but I can't think of a thing.

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    1. Agreed. What was once a novelty is now commonplace.

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  6. What I have to relate was more of a "recreational event". But here goes anyway..
    We were visiting another couple and went out to dinner. During dinner the wives gave each of us a notice to "Report to the Principal's Office".

    When we got back to their house me and the other guy waited outside - told to kill some item, until they were ready.

    They created an "office' and an individual list of "bad boy Infractions". Of course it was a role play thing. But we both got spanked good and hard; quite well done.

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    1. Hi Tomy. Sounds very interesting. We don't have a DD or spanking network, but it would obviously create some interesting options.

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  7. Dan
    Over the last few years there have been a few emergency calls. I hate texting so I call. The last time Peter was working on a saturday. We had planned he would pick up the boys from my folks on Saturday before 3 as they were going out that nite. ( The boys had stayed there overnight ) When he hadn't shown up at 3 my mom called and I rushed over there so the folks could leave. Before I left Mom's I asked her to call and tell Peter I picked up the boys and I would see him at home. He was waiting at home when we got there. He knew he was in for it. As I came in he went up to our room. I put the boys in front of the TV in the family room and went upstairs. Peter was waiting bare assed in the corner. I took a belt to him, but with the boys at home I went easy. The following nite I asked my sister to watch the boys at her place for a few hours and Peter got a set of bruises that made sitting very uncomfortable.
    Anna

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    1. Hi Anna. I agree about hating texts, though as KD says, there are now so ubiquitous, and while I may not like them, they are one of my wife's preferred means of communication.

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  8. Most times, the spanking follows J's announcement that my (mis)behavior calls for immediate "action", but there are times when I get an 'advance notice' (whether by phone or e-mail) that I can expect a spanking (or worse) for having failed to perform some domestic chore before leaving for work.
    The most usual (if not the most frequent) forms of 'advance notice', however, are when either of us is away on business... Whether over the phone or by e-mail, I am told what I can expect when I (or she) gets home - and delivery is typically stern and swift...

    L.

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    1. As a personal comment, I would add that for L. to get a 'welcome' paddling or whipping when we are re-united after being away from each other for a while is the best way to resume our relationship - and we both know it!

      J.

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    2. Indeed. Day before yesterday was "resuming normal" life taste of the cane here. That's the kind of thing that keeps everything running smoothly on the rails around here too.

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    3. That is the kind of anticipation I hate -- traveling for work and you know when you get back you are going to get it. But, you have to wait, and wait and wait . . .

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  9. Dan
    A now and then reader to your blog. It is great! Last week my wife asked me to drop off her favorite dress at the cleaners. Yesterday she stopped by to pick it up. Sadly it was still sitting in the trunk of my car.
    I called left a message saying i was sorry I forgot to drop it off 15 minutes later I got a text ordering me home at once! I knew what that meant! Today I will only say I am sitting on a pillow at work. Trust me it won't ever happen again.

    a fan

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  10. Great site!

    I got a text message from my wife this morning as she was on her way to work. It said:

    "I expect the house to be tip-top when I get home tonight, or else there will be consequences. X"

    The house is quite messy at the moment, and I am working from home today. The trouble is that I have a lot of work to do myself, and my wife has also brought in a new rule that I have to work out for 30 minutes each day, on top of the rule that I have to go to the gym at least once a week - which I haven't yet. Not going to the gym and not working out also equate to consequences.

    And by consequences my wife means that I'll find myself in the laundry room, bent over, for a bare bottom spanking with the bathbrush. So unless I can get everything done I run the risk of quite a sore bottom tonight.

    We also use orgasm control, and today is two weeks since she last let me come, so I REALLY want to keep her happy!

    Thanks again for an excellent forum!

    another fan.

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  11. Yes.. My Wife has texted and phoned, and given me the warning that things had better be in a better shape when She gets home. It really gets me off the internet and moving fast!! Also in person, She may say She has some work to do, but things (x,y,x) ought to be done by the afternoon. I know I'll get spanked, but will work hard to minimize the suffering! Sam

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  12. Hello Dan. I have used texting as it's so easy. Early on in our DD, when I lacked confidence, I found it much easier to tell my husband of an impending punishment through text, rather than actually voicing it. For some reason, saying it was harder for me than actually delivering the spanking. I'm not sure why discussing it was so difficult. I'm sort of quiet by nature, I suppose.

    Thanks for the great discussion!

    --Rebecca

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  13. In the early days of cell phones, actually for a brief time they were called car phones, I got a call one afternoon as she was on her way home. She said she was in bad need of some action and to ensure my proper performance I was going to get a spanking. When she got home it was straight to the bed room for good OTK session and then...........

    Eric

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  14. Hi

    Firstly, apologies for posting a general comment/question that is off the topic of the week, but I can't seem to find a general email address where I can ask a question. I'm reading through a lot of the material in this blog, going back some time, in the hope of deciding whether an FLR is going to be a good ides for my relationship with my partner, or whether there are risks. The problem I'm having is that there seems to be a sexual motive underlying many (most?) of the comments I read. People write that they have asked for an FLR, and that they want their wife to spank them. The idea seems to be to get the wife or partner to spank as the primary purpose of the lifestyle. That's most emphatically NOT what I'm looking for. For me the purpose is for conflict resolution, and the punishment is the necessary evil, in order to create the frame of mind where I would be happy to accept her decisions as final, and submit to her rules on behaviour. Am I on my own in this, or are there others who are doing this for non-sexual motives?

    Ed

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    1. Hi Ed. I think that reading in a sexual motive on "most" may overstate things, and I don't think most of the commenters see getting spanked as the "primary motivation." Instead, the primary goal is behavior correction or accountability, with spanking being the preferred tool to get there. People come to it with lots of different motivations. It is true that most of the commenters admit to having some spanking-related interest/fetish/obsession before getting into Domestic Discipline, though that varies. I myself did not. Also keep in mind that the FLR aspects of the blog are a fairly recent development, and it was originally very focused on domestic discipline, which probably accounts for some of the heavy spanking emphasis.

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    2. Each couple makes their own rules, there are no set requirements that you have to follow. Most of the couples I have known, including me, do it for fun with discipline mixed in. You can give a punishment spanking to a spanko. For instance, there is no warm up, from the beginning the whacks are well laid on with an implement that hurts. Now there are some people that will laugh even that off, but I didn't. I would suggest that you have a lot of conversations with your partner and do what you both agree on and don't concern yourself with what others do. I guess one way to leave all sex out of it is to do it over a clothed bottom, you don't have to be bare for it to hurt.

      Eric

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  15. Thanks for the responses. I take the point about the original focus of the blog being on DD, but I still can't really understand why so many commenters seem to be mostly interested in getting a spanking. Isn't DD intended to be for disciplinary purposes rather than play? If couples are genuinely using it for that purpose, then there surely wouldn't be such a strong preoccupation with the mechanics and circumstances of the spanking? I'm at a loss to understand how people manage to mix spanking for pleasure (?!?) with disciplinary spanking. Surely if the recipient enjoys being spanked, it's never going to be a real punishment? I know that in the latter case it's much harder etc etc, but it doesn't seem workable to be using the same activity in pleasurable and disciplinary ways. I'd expect it to be just too confusing and disturbing.

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    1. I take your point, but would mention that "spankings for pleasure," administered by my wife on a regular basis, in our experience, have the effect of making me more submissive to my wife's needs and desires -- a byproduct of the strong feelings of bonding I experience. These spankings are administered with a long-handed wooden paddle, and they definitely hurt, but they do not leave bruises. No doubt punishment spankings would be more effective in curbing bad behavior, but my wife will not administer punishment spankings. In short they work for us, and, perhaps surprisingly, they do curb bad behavior.

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    2. Again, I'm not sure what you mean by "most commenters" seem primarily interested in getting a spanking. You are painting with an awfully broad brush. I also have no idea, what you mean by, "If couples are genuinely using it for that purpose, then there surely wouldn't be such a strong preoccupation with the mechanics and circumstances of the spanking?" What kind of content did you expect to find on a DD blog if not discussions about things like the mechanics and circumstances of DD spankings?? As for being at a loss as to how couples could mix disciplinary and erotic spankings, I personally don't but neither do about 50% of the visitors, according to our recent poll on the subject. I agree that someone who is a true masochist might have a problem seeing even a disciplinary spanking as a disincentive to bad behavior. But, I don't have a problem seeing how some couples could practice spankings of very different severities thereby serving very different purposes.

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    3. If it's confusing and disturbing then maybe it's not for you. I think one thing you ought to keep in mind is that a portion of the replies here are fiction. Another, as I mentioned before, each situation is unique. There are common threads, but there are no rules that you must follow. In my experience I could not be a sub in the bedroom without having it leak out into our day to day lives. I enjoyed the submitting as much as the spankings. Part of our agreement was that I would never say no to a spanking, meaning that she was in full control. Now we pretty much operated like any other couple, but with little or no disagreements. If she thought I was getting argumentative it was paddle time. It's sort of hard to argue when your bare ass is getting whacked and you are doing all you can to hold still and take it. It was a lot more complicated than I can express here in a short answer, but our dynamic worked for us, it may well not work for you. I might add that she did not really get turned on by spanking me, she got turned on, or enjoyed, the results.

      Eric

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    4. I honestly don't know how many comments are fictional. Certainly some, but I've come to believe -- through experience -- that there are all sorts of things in life that seem implausible to me but actually happen to others. I had a work friend a few years ago who seemed bland as could be, but when she got divorced I heard about all sorts of sexy details that left me dumbfounded. I honestly don't care very much whether a story on the blog is true, as long as it is on topic and is something people enjoy reading. The only time I take it down is when it strays off-topic in a way that is distracting or that seems like the commenter is trying to change the focus of the blog. Happens a bit with the Master/slave stuff.

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  16. I apologise that my last comment didn't seem to make much sense to others. What I was trying to say was that I imagined that the main focus would be on the effectiveness or otherwise of the correction of bad behaviour, whereas it seems to be more to do with the detail of the spanking - how it was notified, initiated, carried out - what happened immediately before and afterwards, whether there was anyone else present, etc etc. I'm not being judgemental here - each to their own - but it seems to me that the majority of the commenters are more fixated on the actual spanking, than on its remedial effects on a relationship, actual or hoped for. Maybe I've misunderstood the purpose of the forum.

    I remain confused about how spanking for pleasure and disciplinary spanking can coexist in a relationship. I can't think of anything else that a couple could do together where in small quantities, or administered mildly, it would be pleasurable, but which could be made more severe to act as a punishment. It just seems that if the activity is ever used as a punishment, it will never be pleasurable again, and conversely, if it's normally pleasurable, how will it be taken seriously as a punishment? I know people will say that when delivered severely, it will inevitably be experienced as a punishment, but it just seems to me that the psychology would be all wrong.

    I have to admit that it had occurred to me that some of the comments were probably fictional - particularly the ones about being punished in front of others (wife's sister seems to be a favourite) - but I was reluctant to say so, as I thought it would be taken as a disrespectful comment. Is this really the place to post 'stories' - I'm sure there must be other better places.

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  17. Fascinating topic (and interesting comments from previous commentator)

    Firstly, I am in the habit of emailing my wife, love letters I suppose they would have been called in old days. She loves getting these. I use them when I am on the train or awake in the night or when something significant has happened. I may have misbehaved and I may use the mail to apologise. I may have been punished for something and I find it easier - sometimes - to convey my innermost thoughts in a mail. I may even admit to a misbehaviour and openly accept that I expect her to punish me. She may text or mail me when I am at work, either in reply or not, and she will often indicate that a 'resetting' is due which will happen when she has the time / space. Once the warning is issued I go on high alert i.e. best behaviour which she enjoys but it makes no difference. She very rarely carries out the punishment when she is still angry, she will be calm and good humoured, locking the door and telling me to 'meet her upstairs'. I know exactly what will happen and she will take her time to explain why, when I am in position over the bed.

    Afterwards she will always rub lotion and allow me time and space to calm. Whilst she does not enjoy the process, she very much enjoys the behaviours management, the improved moods and the ability to bring any argument, rudeness, mood, stress or whatever to an immediate end as I cannot carry these on when my only focus is the all consuming burning pain that the strap causes as she quite clinically whips me into shape.

    The question of erotic vs discipline is almost irrelevant. I have always been aroused by anything to do with spanking, since puberty (and probably before). My fantasies were equally 'normal' sex and spanking from day one. It was quite a long time into my marriage that I told my wife and since then she has seen a remarkable improvement in my behaviour. I still find the idea of spanking exciting, just not when it is happening to me! Pain memory is not very good, but all the ritual memories seem very strong. I would never misbehave so as to be punished, but I do know exactly when the need is strong enough to need a release. I have never had the courage to ask for that release - yet, and in truth when the need is strong my behaviour tends to be quite good. Luckily (I think) my wife knows my moods and knows that I will eventually become difficult if she does not 'take me in hand' every 10 days or less.

    I wouldn't have it any other way and I regard myself as being very lucky to have such a balanced relationship with a built in pressure vale!

    TB

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