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Hello all. Welcome back to The Forum - Disciplined Husbands & Disciplinary Wives. I hope you all had a great week.
For reasons I won't go into in detail, the role consent plays in DD and FLR relationships was on my my mind again this week. It began with an entry on the Guestbook from someone who suggested an FLR relationship had been imposed on them, and I tried to probe what that actually meant. I can't say I ever felt that reassured that I understood whether the situation involved real non-consent, or professing non-consent as part of the mystique of the relationship or just not taking responsiblity for choices made. I can't say I really got to the bottom of it, and I would just reiterate a couple of points. First, this is not a Master/slave blog. I don't have any problem with that lifestyle, but it's not what this blog is about. So, even if you are in a consensual Master/slave relationship, there may be better places for you to explore that than here. Something that has really been hitting home for me lately where this little extracurricular pursuit of mine is concerned is, you can't be everything to everyone. For every Master/slave comment or post I allow on the blog, I scare off someone in a more conventionally DD or FLR-oriented relationship, and those are the relationships this blog was meant to focus on, particularly since there are plenty of outlets for those with Master/slave and other similar bents.
Second, it hit home for me again just how nuanced and problematic this whole consent issue can be. While I think (hope) we all agree that consent to being spanked for discipline is necessary on some level, there are a lot of nuances. Is the consent only to the overall DD relationship? Or, must it be to each individual spanking? For some people, is there an element of wanting it to at least seem non-consensual, even if in the bigger picture of the overall relationship, they really want it? There isn't a clearly right answer here, and where I really started noticing the paradox was when I went back to the Disciplinary Wives Club website and tallied up how many of the stories involved the woman imposing the disciplinary relationship to one degree or another. It was pretty clear the seeming non-consent has some kind of attraction, given that website has launched many DD marriages. But, of course, in "real life" we know that express consent often isn't even really an issue, because many--and based on the polling we have done, probably most--of these relationships begin with the husband asking the wife to take up the paddle.
But, that is all for another today, as I don't want to take us down another vigorous debate on things like consensual non-consent, though I do find the whole thing fascinating and perplexing. Instead, this week I would like to address a much narrower issue that only partially relates to consent.
Formal contracts or written agreements and other means of documenting the terms and conditions of the disiciplinary side of the relationship. How many of our DD and FLR couples have gone about documenting the rules of their relationship in some formal way? And not just the consent, but the overall terms of the DD relationship.