Hi all. Welcome, or welcome back, to The Forum - Disciplined Husbands & Disciplinary Wives. Our weekly gathering of men and women to talk about and promote adult domestic discipline and FLR relationships.
I hope you all had a great week. It was another grueling one for me. I could really use some time off right now, but there's just no end in sight for the foreseeable future. Of course, if I wasn't busy, I would be whining even more about that.
We have talked from time to time about how to work DD around the presence of kids in the household, and we've shared ideas about how to mete out well-deserved discipline without the kids overhearing.
But, what about once they are grown? Is the DD or FLR side of your relationship something that should be kept from them once they are off on their own?
We are often reluctant to share this part of our life with anyone. But, particularly if it is something that you think helped your own marriage, should you share that with your adult kids so they can also get the benefits of it? Those benefits could potentially apply to either a daughter who needs to take charge of her own ill-behaved husband, or maybe you are a realist parent faced with the proposition that your darling son (or daughter) could themselves profit a bit from being on the receiving end of the marital paddle or hairbrush.
One of Holly's observations last week was that while her husband has grown as a result of domestic discipline, so has she. Those opportunities for mutual growth are one reason I believe in TTWD, and why I see it as being at its best when used to balance out the extremes. Domineering or out of control men get taken down a peg and taught some hard lessons. On the other end of the paddle, a wife who may have once felt powerless or timid may develop into a strong and capable leader.
So, isn't that something we would want for our adult kids as they move out into the world and experience their own inevitable marital and personal challenges? Even if we thought it was something that needed to be kept private while they were growing up, do those same concerns still apply later in life?
As I said, my own attitudes on this have evolved a lot over time. I once just sort of assumed this is a private activity and should be kept that way. But, I also believe that domestic discipline and, increasingly, being the man in a Female Led Relationship, is a core part of who I am and what I want to become. Yet, concerns that kids could overhear a spanking, or see her in full "boss" mode have been the #1 impediment over time to us deepening and broadening this aspect of our relationship.
A few weeks ago, I put at the top of the post a quote I saw a few weeks ago that really stuck with me for some reason. Here is an abbreviated version: