Saturday, July 25, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 98 - Outing as Punishment

Hello all.  I hope you had a great week.  Mine was sort of a blur, but the sun is shining on this great Saturday in July, and I'm going to do do some enjoying.

When our disciplinary wives talk, I try to listen.  Anna and Marisa suggested a topic, so in female-led fashion, I promptly serve it up as this week's topic.






We have hit on this topic before, but it is a good one.  Outing.  How out to be.  How "out" is appropriate.  Anna and Marisa offered a slightly different spin: outing as punishment or a form of control.  Anna's question was phrased as: "How many men either fear or are aroused by the concept of others discovering they are disciplined in this manner?"  Marisa added: "How many wives have 'outed'  him to a third party, plan to do so or threatened to do so?" 



Great questions, and I look forward to a good conversation on this over the upcoming week.  Have a great weekend.

Dan



Saturday, July 18, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 97 - Outdoor Spankings

Hello all. I hope you had a great week.  For me, ust two more workdays 'til Monday! 

In response to my recent whine that I seemed to be hitting a bad case of writer's block regarding new topics, an anonymous reader suggested asking whether our readers have ever been spanked outdoors, and to please provide the titillating details. Since it is summer and all, that seems like a fun one.


To broaden the scope a little, let's include things like the iconic woodshed within our definitiion of "outdoors." 





Though, as those who have been reading the blog for a a while know, I kind of have a thing for woodsheds, barns, and other rustic DD settings.  So, I will jump on any excuse to include them in a topic.

Unfortunately, I don't have much to say on this one. I have not been disciplined outside, nor have I been spanked in a woodshed, barn or their equivalent.  So, for now, this one is an unfulfilled fetish.

Have a great week.

Dan


Saturday, July 11, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 96 - Switching

Hi all.  Welcome back to another weekend here at the Disciplined Husbands Forum.  Our participation seems to be waning, as we work our way further into this beautiful summer.  Understandable.  I can't say I am anymore inspired than the rest of our participants, or I guess I should say I am equally distracted by other things.  Pondered and pondered this morning for a good new topic, and I can't say I succeeded.  Sometimes that's just the way it is.

So, no new experience or real-life scenario motivates this week's topic.  Rather, it's just been on my list for awhile.  Let's talk about "switching," i.e. the spankee becoming a spanker and vice versa.  How many of you have "switched" roles in the past?  Is it something you still do today? Do you want to?

For me, the answer is no.  I've never had any real desire to spank my wife or any other woman.  For whatever reason, my interest in domestic discipline and corporal punihsment runs exclusively one way.  The only slight exception is that when looking for DD-oriented drawings, I often find myself attracted to ones showing female spankees, but largely because there is just more high-quality work out there depicting M/f scenarios, and they tend to show more emotion.  I really wish there was a deeper body of F/m oriented spanking art out there.  Unfortunately, I won't be contributing to the genre, as I can't even draw stick figures.

Have a great weekend!

Dan

Friday, July 3, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 95 - Leading & Following - Implications


Hi all.  I hope you have already begun a fun and relaxing Independence Day weekend.  At least those of you in in U.S.  Though it also is holiday season through much of Europe. So, I hope a majority of our community are off having fun right now with friends and family.  I decided to get an early start on this week's topic, because I will be tied up on some other things tomorrow but didn't want to get into the habit of skipping weeks. And, of course, last week's topic was drawing such a pitiful response, it seemed best to just put it out of its misery.
Part of this week's topic relaates to one of our recently closed polls, which asked:

I am [Male or Female] and Outside the Home I prefer to:
Female - Prefer to Follow
  2 (2%)
Female - Prefer to Lead
  5 (5%)
Male - Prefer to Follow
  48 (55%)
Male - Prefer to Lead
  36 (41%)

The responses form the wives were pretty low, but to the extent they are statistically significant, we seem to get more "naturally dominant" females visiting this Forum, than those who prefer to follow the lead of others.  The male response surprised me a bit, and it shows the danger of projection, i.e. of assuming that because you feel a certain way or come at things with a certain motivation, others do as well.  Outside the home, particularly at work, I prefer--strongly prefer--to be in charge.  Evem my submission at home does not come naturally. But, it is something we do because it helps the relationship and helps us both balance out our natural tendencies.  But, from the poll responses, it appears that a majority of the males (those who responded), are really following their "true" natures when they submit to someone else's authority at home.  (I am assuming, of course, that if a man is visiting this blog and taking the time to fill out this poll, then he probably is either participatiing in a DD or FLR relationship or interested in one, but that seems a fairly reasonable assumption.)  I have always believed that many DD males are attracted to it because submitting at home is a reversal of their more dominating role at work.  But, these poll results seem to suggest I am wrong with respect to a majority of the males in our community.


For the topic, I will make this a bit of an open microphone and invite people to comment on the poll results. But, I will also suggest this area of focus: does submitting in one part of your life make other parts of your life easier, or harder, when it comes to leadership and authority?  I will give a concrete example.  As I said, I have a pretty dominating personality at work.  It gets me in trouble with colleagues who outrank me in way or another.  But, the challenge has really been playing out with a particular customer.  "The customer is always right." True enough for any business or profession that rises and falls based on the quality of service it provides.  But, we all know that in reality, customers, clients, buyers, etc., are not always right.  For the last several weeks, I have been struggling with one who not only isn't always right, he's really just a complete asshole.  But, he also controls a fairly substantial amount of business.  Not enough that it would kill me if he walked away, but enough that it is certainly in my interest to continue to take his shit if that also allows me to continue to take his business.  But, I really am not very  good at that.  Submitting to someone else's authority, particularly someone who is being a jerk, just goes against every instinct.  I also can't say that submitting more at home is helping much at managing the situaiton, at least not in terms of making me able to submit more naturally.  Where it has helped, however, is I did ask my wife to make losing this particular customer a spankable offense, if the loss results from my temper or unwillingness to submit.


This issue can also cut the other way.  If you submit at home, does it make it harder for you to exercise authority at work or in other situations where authority or commanding others is required?  On this aspect, I feel like DD and FLR actually may be making me a better leader. I've always been weak at holding people accountable.  While I have a dominant personality, I also don't like exercising power over people.  It just isn't my thing.  So, when someone screws up, I tend to fume inside but outwardly accept whatever excuse they offer.  But, I'm finding myself being more direct lately in addressing under-performance.  Less willing to accept an excuse for failing to do something the way it should be done.  It's hard, but it does extend from an increasing sense that I am increasingly being held accountable at home when I fail to meet my wife's stated expectations.  I can choose to perform, and if I don't then I am, in effect, choosing ot be spanked.  If I am accountable for under-performance, then why shouldn't the people I work with be equally accountable? This whole dynamic also gives me increasing respect for what we ask of our Disciplinary Wives when we ask them to take on a leadership role that includes rigorously holding us accountable.  


Finally, given the majority of respondents who said they like to follow outside the home, do you feel like that holds you back?  Is it harder for you to succeeed at work, get a promotion, a raise, etc., if your natural inclination is to be a follower and not a leader?  And, if so, in the broader scheme of your life, is DD and FLR a positive force, or something that exacerbates and reinforces a natural inclination that isn't serving your larger life goals particularly well?
That one turned out to be a bit longer, and weightier than expected.  Conveniently, I gave everyone an extra day to consider it!

Have a great holiday, and please be safe!

Dan