Anyway, it was a good discussion, and there was another aspect of it that caught my attention. When one commenter reacts to another commenter on this blog, they are often forced to preface it with something to the effect of, "I am responding to the anonymous commenter who said . . ." If there is anything that is clear about our Forum participants, it is that--with a few exceptions like the Merrys--we place an extraordinary value on our anonymity. A very large majority still post without using even a fake profile and, to my knowledge, we have only one reader who maintains a blog that uses her real picture in that profile such that, for all intents and purposes she is "out" as being on the receiving end of a spanking relationship. And, there is nothing at all wrong with any of this, and this post is in no way meant to challenge it. If anonymity is the grease that keeps the conversation going for all of us, then the more of it the better.
But, this week's question asks you to engage in a bit of "what if" exploration, that also may again test a bit the extent to which some of us talk a good game about submitting to our wife's authority. The question is, what if your partner told you they wanted to be more openly in charge? What if they told you that they want it be clear to anyone who is watching and interested that she wears the pants? Not necessarily a public announcement that you are in an FLR relationship, but outward actions that leave no doubt about it. And, what if that included her disclosing to anyone she chooses that she spanks you?
How would you react? Would there be some groups you would be OK coming out to, but not others? And, which of those do you find more discomforting (to the extent you do find this topic discomforting), the prospect of being outed as being in a relationship led by your spouse and in which you are the junior party, or being outed as being spanked? That distinction may itself be telling about where we think our society is in terms of both gender equality and openness to kink because, it says a lot if people are coming to see spanking as socially acceptable but there is still a stigma around a man taking second place to his wife in the decision-making hierarchy.
Speaking for my own relationship, as a practical matter, I don't think either of us is ready for being truly open about the DD aspects of our relationships, or the FLR aspects to the extent we really are practicing FLR. But, pracicality and real life likelihood really weren't part of my question, were they? The question was, "What if your spouse TOLD you that THEY WANT to be open about it?" What if this were the direction that your partner--the partner who some of you have agreed will act as head of your household and exercise final decision making authority--told you that this is what she wants and that she expects you to comply?" Would you do it?
For myself, it would make the decision quite a lot easier if two groups could be magically walled off from the disclosure: work colleagues and my parents. On the workplace issue, given the profession I am in, I do think there could be a significant downside for my career if it were commonly known that my wife spanks me for disciplinary purposes. Yet, paradoxically, a comment by Anna a few weeks ago about the feedback she gets from some of Peter's work colleagues about his behavior in that venue left me really wishing that such feedback were available to my wife, because work related temper problems and an unwillingness to submit to authority have definitely had a negative impact on my upward progress. So, while I find the idea of being outed in any way in that context extremely upsetting, I also recognize that not being out about it also has a negative consequence.
Now, again, as a practical matter, it is very unlikely that my wife would ever "out" our disciplinary relationship. But, again, for this week's topic, we're not dealing in reality. We are playing a game of "what if . . ." So, let's explore that a bit.
Have a great week.