Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Forum - Week #60

Hello all.  Happy Saturday.  Another beautiful fall day where I live.  I hope you all had a good week.  A few weeks ago, one of our community members sent me an email with a topic suggestion.  (I'm not using his name because I'm not sure whether he is OK with me doing that.)  His suggested topic is one I will use in the future, but what intrigued more was that he told me he is a success coach who incorporates spanking into his coaching sessions.

Now, setting aside that that has to be about the coolest job in the entire world, it suggested an interesting topic regarding non-traditional uses of DD.  In our household, discipline is used primarily to correct bad behavior.  I do something wrong or make Disciplinary Wife angry, and she punishes that behavior.

But, what about using spanking as a motivator for positive behavior or performance enhancement.  Maybe you need to lose some weight and aren't good at sticking to an exercise routine.

 Or maybe you didn't perform at your best in some contest, and your wife helps make sure there is a consequence for giving less than your best effort.


 Disciplinary Wife and I have talked a lot about incorporating more such "motivational discipline" into our DD lifestyle, but we never seem to really make it happen.  How about you?  Does your disciplinarian (spouse or otherwise) act as a "success coach"?  Do you want her to?

Have a great weekend.

Dan

19 comments:

  1. Dan

    Great topic ! In many ways I feel the discipline I use on my husband is often a "motivational discipline " There is punishment for bad behavior. In his case most often is a temper outburst".
    For example he went to a football game with friends a few weeks ago and took part in a little too
    much tailgating. That night we had his parents expected for dinner and it was a mess. When I did
    punish him with 100 swats with a riding crop I warned him that should he do that again I would double the number. This past sunday he went to the game and came back in the same condition.
    He got two hundred swats and a very bruised bottom. Should he do it again it will be 400. We shall see how it works. Trust me I shall report as he is going to a college game this afternoon.
    Since the kids are away this weekend at my folks, we shall either have a lovely date nite or he will perhaps have to be taken to the ER.

    Anna

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    1. @ Anna:
      gigglesnort!

      I completely understand.

      Shilo and I have a written Agreement/contract that states I will never discipline him to the point that he requires outside care.

      Delete
    2. Anna, your husband and I really are weirdly alike. Over-indulging at a college tailgate party is exactly the kind of thing that gets me in repeated trouble.

      Delete
    3. Yes Dan , i realize that more and more all the time. It is your wife and me certrainly for selecting a charming fun guy.
      anna

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    4. Love it Anna. Sometimes it may seem that we husband never learn. Trust me, we are trying.

      Delete
  2. Hello Dan!

    I feel that early in my relationship with Shilo (June-August 2013) I was more of a motivational coach for him. There were a few things he needed motivation for back then (Quitting smoking and stopping the obsessive masturbation)

    But even Shilo will tell you that he doesn't really have the "typical" problems most husbands have. Alcohol and drugs aren't allowed in the house, and he has no desire for them. His "porn" is spanking porn, and I don't feel threatened by it.Honestly, the only thing that really bugs me is the snotty attitude he sometimes gets.

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  3. Thanks Anna and Merry. The difference between motivation and punishment is hard to draw, because often there has been a determination to stop a certain bad behavior, and the punishment takes place if the behavior occurs. But, what I was trying to get at with this topic was something more like goal setting. Like, setting a weight loss goal, with punishment happening if you don't lose as much as your goal. Or, maybe the goal is getting a promotion at work. Or running a 10k race. Some performance enhancing goal or desire that the prospect of a spanking for failure might help you hit.

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  4. A point I will mention is that what seems to be discussed here, is behavior modification with FEAR of spanking as a result of failure.
    I do not FEAR spanking.
    Merry is quite a hard spanker, yet I enjoy the anticipation before one, and the afterburn after one.
    Yes, it hurts me DURING, but I do have a high pain tolerance.
    So, using the FEAR of spanking does not work on me for behavior modification or goal setting, but using the REWARD of a spanking ... might!

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! In those early days, I rewarded you with attention, spankings and (I hate to admit it) sex.

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  5. I have been recently told by Mistress K. that I will do a certain number of minutes in our little gym room everyday. Nothing big, nothing fancy but just something to move my body so it doesn't fall apart.

    When I am in there, I am usually alone in the house and as such I am required be naked of course (well, except for my workout shoes). I could very easily be that guy in the drawing that is running on the treadmill about to be spanked.

    Love you blog Dan!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! Naked other than workout shoes -- now there is an interesting visual!

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  6. You should maybe check this out: http://mistressanna.info/bootcamp-mistress.html

    Mistress and I discussed some home gym fitness programmes, combined with CP, as part of a fitness campaign for me to lose weight. But she wasn't too keen on the idea.......

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  7. My wife has been on my case about dropping the 15 pounds I have put on in the past year. Three days ago she came up with what she loves referring to as "A Motivational Plan" for me to follow. I have until tomorrow at 5 pm to have lost 4 pounds. As of an hour ago I have only lost 2lb. If I don't drop the other 2lb but 5 tomorrow I will receive 100 swats with a brush for each pound that i did not lose. She has made it very clear this is in addition to any other discipline I
    may have "earned " for any other problems I may cause. Knowing my wife the amount of weight and the days I will have to get rid of it will be more difficult.

    scott

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    Replies
    1. Four pounds in 4 days is a huge loss. Clearly she just wants to spank you. :-)

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    2. If that is the case then she was very disappointed. I MANAGED TO DO IT !!!!
      That is the good news. The bad news is she expects me to drop another 4 lb
      before 5pm next Wednesday.
      scott

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  8. My initial thought was to respond to this that my spankings are all motivational in that she has certain goals and standards for me and when I fall short I get an appointment with strap or brush. But thinking more about it I know it’s not that simple. Some of my spankings are motivational or disciplinary because she is teaching me a lesson about what behavior is unacceptable and motivating me to behave as she expects. These spanking usually include major scolding and corner time. These are also the spankings where she sometimes invites a special witness (her sister). They are meant to teach a lesson. But other spanking are really mostly punishment where she is not teaching a lesson so much as enacting retribution for something I have done , especially repeat bad behavior or embarrassing her in public. These are spankings that are hard and fast almost always with the (hated) bath brush and often end in tears. There is no real cuddling or making up after these as there is with disciplinary spankings and she usually gives me additional non corporal punishment at the end of them. Some spanking are really a mix of disciplinary and punishment so its really not as clear cut as that. But for us some spankings are absolutely motivational discipline while some are mostly punishment

    Alan

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    Replies
    1. The kind of motivation I was trying to get at with this question was really around goal-oriented encouragement. Like the examples of losing weight. But, your dichotomy between discipline and retribution is also one I recognize in our own relationship, though I think the same spanking can be discipline for me and retribution for her. So, I guess we are left with not two but three possible categories of DD spankings: (1) Discipline designed to correct for bad acts; (2) punishment that is really about letting the Wife get out her frustrations or get some retribution; and (3) goal-oriented or "self-improvement" discipline that is related not necessarily to goals the Wife wants, but potentially goals that WE want but don't have the self-discipline to reach without the incentive of avoiding a spanking

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    2. Elise Sutton's web site goes far beyond DWC discipline, but my wife and I have both read articles from her website and even picked up some ideas along the way. One articles I read on her website used this terminology - a periodic DISCIPLINARY spanking just to maintain the disciplinary relationship (what we often call a maintenance spanking in DWC circles) - and a PUNISHMENT spanking of a more severe nature for punishing misdeeds. This does not really include spankings for the topic of this post - motivational (diet, exercise, etc). My wife has not routinely exercised motivational spankings (per se) in our relationship, although she did give a good hard paddling when she caught me cheating on a diet that I had committed to a couple of years back - and it was a helpful motivation in sticking more closely to my diet. --al

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  9. There's "motivation" (as when she spanks me because I delay doing a chore, or because I am surly before we go to a party), and there's "punishment" (when I have failed to perform my chores to her satisfaction, or when my 'social' behavior left something to be desired...

    L.

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