Saturday, October 4, 2014

The Forum - Week #59


Hi all.  Happy Saturday.  I hope you had a good week.  This week's topic is about corner time.  A few weeks ago we talked about chastity.  It was something Disciplinary Wife and I don't practice and in which I have no personal interest, but I still wanted to hear about it since it seems to be a part of many other couples' disciplinary routine.  Corner time is another practice frequently associated with domestic discipline, and it is another practice that we don't personally engage in.  Yet, unlike with chastity, I am intrigued by it to the point of considering asking Disciplinary Wife to work it into our relationship.  It is a little hard for us to do that, however, given our usual routine, as unlike some disciplinary couples, we have not set up a strict separation between discipline and sex.  In fact, for us, discipline usually is followed by sex, and corner time would add time to the whole process, and we are frequently already tired and needing sleep after a long week.  But, it still interests me enough to think about how we might incorporate it.


So, what role, if any, does corner time play in your relationship?  If you do engage it, is it always an after-spanking event, or do you sometimes use it independently of spanking?  What purpose does it serve?  Is it additional form of punishment?  Or maybe something designed to allow the punished party to more fully contemplate his actions and what just happened to him?  Or, is it another way for the disciplining party to exercise their control and dominance?

Have a great week.

Dan

42 comments:

  1. I occasionally use corner time with Shilo (Merryslave) before a spanking. I feel it gives him a chance to "think" about the discipline he's about to receive, and why he's receiving it. I think I've only used it after a spanking once or twice in the past year.

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  2. Im Sam... wife insists before a spanking i stand in corner for at least half an hour have been standing there longer now and then. After a spanking, there is additional corner time. The time
    varies. I find the after time lets me regain my composure and am then more prepared to discuss why I was punished.

    sam

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  3. I think, corner time before a spanking is a good way to prepare oneself for the eminent spanking.
    When someone gets spanked out of the blue, hard from the start without a warming up : 'cold turkey ' so to day, pain tolerance level is exceeded very fast. I don't think that is a good idea.
    The person getting spanked in a way gets uncontrollable.
    A warming up has a similar function, to prepare someone for the actual harder spanking.
    Now instead of a physical warming up I think a mental preparation could do the same.
    And for that I think corner time can be an option.

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  4. We both seem to know in a long and good marriage when i got to take a bare ass paddling---It is not often and we both agree there is never any argument---I get it bare and it hurts plenty but things are real good between us after so it works---I never got a paddling i did not have coming--I always want to get it over with asap

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  5. "Corner time" and "corner time" are two different propositions - and my wife uses both, but usually not both in a single "session".

    I may be ordered to stand in the corner (bare-bottomed) - and to fret over what she may have in store - while she takes her own sweet time, has a cup of tea, maybe calls a friend... and decides on what "tools" she will use.

    Alternatively, once I have been duly spanked (or strapped, whipped, caned ...or all of the above), and after thanking her, kissing her hand and promising to behave, I will often be sent to the corner (with my bruised derrière fully exposed) and left there to sniffle up my tears until she feels I have learned my lesson, and am allowed to put my pants back on...

    L.

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    1. I mean : "corner time" BEFORE and "corner time" AFTER...

      L.

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    2. I thought that was what you meant, but thanks for clarifying.

      Dan

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  6. AS my wife mentioned, usage of corner time HAS played a part of our protocol, from time to time, but not every time; more often, before a spanking, and a couple times, after.
    When I am sent to the corner, it's always with me quite naked, feet together, hands at my sides.
    The longest I've been kept in a corner is one hour, and that particular time, I don't recall getting spanked afterwards.
    I do not mind corner time as I'm very good at putting myself in a meditation trance.
    What I DO mind (ie sigh and grumble about) is when she requires I sing 'something' (Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat is a common request of hers). My singing voice causes babies to cry and dogs to howl. And it keeps me out of my meditative trance.
    Meanwhile, we recently overhauled our written disciplinary guidelines. She CAN at her discretion, require corner time as part of a discipline/punishment session, but it is limited to fifteen minutes for Daily Discipline or Weekly Maintenance, or thirty minutes for Punishment applied for Breakage of the written rules.

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    1. Ah yes! The one hour in the corner... I remember is that I was particularly angry and hurt that day and the corner time was for me to calm down more than anything else. Shilo LOUDLY berated me in public. I caned him afterwards. I wasn't angry when I caned him.

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    2. Oh yes. I had to go back and look at the blog entry I wrote that day. How odd that I did not remember the ...second part. It was actually quite memorable.

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  7. I believe corner time was a time for the spankee to reflect on why they were just spanked. We don't use corner time, instead we use what R calls display time. Display time is with me facing the corner on my knees and elbows legs spread. Her reason for this is it's embarrassing for me. It gives her a good view of all my private parts and my freshly spanked bottom and it gives me time to think about why I was just spanked. Display time is usually 15-20 minutes.
    archedone

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    1. That sounds even more uncomfortable than traditional corner time

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  8. I haven't brought corner time into the spanking yet and may not. Well one reason is that we have few corners that don't have something in them already.My prep time for a spanking is being told to go to the bedroom and prepare for a spanking. As I lie over a pile of pillows, I have plenty of time to consider why I am there and I am calm until I hear her coming up the stairs. Then I know reality is about to intrude with either the spoon or belt or paddle.
    Baxter

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  9. Dan

    Corner time has been the basis of my discipline from my wife. I was a spoiled only child and am only now beginning to understand being a man. When Disciplined by my wife, I am sent up to our room, where I strip naked and stand facing the wall. Hands are to be held on top of my head and I am to wait. Sometimes she has kept me waiting as long as 45 minutes. After the spanking usually done with me leaning over the edge of the love seat in our bedroom I am returned to the
    wall and stay there until she gives me permission to leave.
    One saturday morning I waited half an hour then was spanked soundly with hand and brush. Sent bat to the corner.She left me there for a full 90 minutes. It was while there after the spanking I thought of the following.
    THE FIVE STAGES OF DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE

    Denial I didnt do anything wrong
    Anger I resent being treated like a child
    Bargaining I promise I wont do it again
    Depression I hate that I cant change
    Acceptance I deserved that punishment

    Now this thought races through my brain both before and after.

    scott

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    1. Thanks, Scott. Your comment illustrates why I am both intrigued by corner time and also nervous about introducing it. I grew up in a world where hyperactivity was dealt with by a paddle, not a prescription, but if I was growing up today I am sure I would have been diagnosed as ADHD. Leaving me in a corner for 45 minutes before or after a punishment would likely be harder for me to deal with than the paddling itself.

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    2. Dan

      reading your response to Scott I see more and more how very similar you are to my Peter. What struck a familiar note to me was your statement about how it would be harder for you to stand there in corner for 45 minutes than take the paddling.
      I realized that perhaps 45 minutes of corner time after a punishment session on Sunday morning might be interesting. He hated it. Actually begged for an extra 50 rather than have to stand in corner. He stood! I suggest to Mrs Dan that she begin
      getting you into corner time. I will say it worked wonders with Peter. He was a dear
      all day.

      anna

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    3. I'm not surprised he was chastened. I cannot imagine sitting still for 45 minutes, naked or not, freshly punished or not.

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    4. Dan
      Isnt that the whole purpose of domestic discipliine?

      Anna

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    5. Definitely, but the fact that I don't like it shows that it actually would BE punishment. It's not punishment if you want it

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  10. I've been using corner time with elliot for years.

    Sometimes he is sent to his corner prior to a whipping but often I use it as a punishment or a reminder all by itself.

    Two key things, unless he is being girdled, he has to strip naked before going to his corner. Second, I always give him a pair of my recently worn panties to press with his nose into the corner.

    My theory is that my scent will imprint him and remind him of his place.

    Believe it or not, corner time is such an important element of our lives that I had elliot write a book about his experiences in his corner.

    Now, here is the critical thing: a dominant wife can use cornertime in circumstances where a good caning would make for too much noise. I have sent elliot to his corner in the middle of parties at our house. I do it discreetly but he obeys. And I have sent him to a corner when I have had girlfriends over and then I am not at all discreet. I want him to know that they know he does what he is told.

    Part of cornertime is pure humiliation. It is good for a man to know that, at any moment, if he behaves badly, his wife can and will correct him.

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    1. Thanks, Hannah. As I said in reply to Scott, I am sure that corner time is very effective as an independent punishment or reminder. I have not, however, really thought of something that might be used when a spanking isn't possible because of other people being around.

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  11. I don't really have anything significant to contribute to this conversation, but just to reply to the question - my wife does occasionally have me spend some time in the corner to reflect on my misdeeds - as a supplement to a punishment spanking, but not often. --al

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  12. Occasionally Mistress has me stand in front of her after punishment while she inspects my bottom. But she leaves me there for up to ten minutes, hands on head or by my side. I think she just likes to admire her artwork. It's not corner time - I'm in the middle of the room but there's that quiet reflective period which is quite poignant. From my brief experience, I think corner time has a very important part to play in DD - before and after punishment , or even as a punishment in its own right.

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    1. Thanks, RM. I think the "admiring her artwork" thing is one sign of a wife crossing over from accommodating her husband's need for discipline to starting to enjoy the power herself.

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  13. My wife utilizes corner time whenever I am spanked. I am always sent to the bedroom and told to prepare for my spanking. I must get completely naked and stand in the corner and await her arrival. The amount of time varies as she is usually busy with something or even gets a phone call. The waiting drives me crazy. The anticipation is the worst. Most often I will get an erection but that quickly disappears once the spanking is underway. Following my spanking, I may get further corner time or not depending on her schedule.

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    1. It's interesting that so many couples seem to use corner time before a spanking, but using it afterwards is more rare. Even though tradition seems to focus on its use after.

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    2. It all depends... When my wife is really aggravated by my (mis)behavior, she immediately proceeds with the required spanking - or whatever else she deems appropriate for "the punishment to fit the crime" - and order "corner time" afterwards to allow me to reflect on my misdeed(s)...

      If, on the other hand, she decides to spank me because she is "in the mood" - of for some misdemeanor that was not adequately sanctioned at the time - I may be ordered to stand in the corner while she contemplates how (and how sharply) I need to be disciplined.

      L.

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  14. My wife doesn’t use corner time for every spanking, but when she does it’s before the spanking, usually with me nude or underpants at half-mast holding the instrument she will start with (usually the bath brush). Only exception is the rare time I have been sentenced to a double spanking and then corner time after the first is used until she starts the second. I asked her once why she never used corner time after the spanking since that was what my mother used. She told me she wasn’t my mother and spanking was strictly on her terms. She also said that after I had been punished she felt it was over and we should move on and more corner time was continuing the punishment. I think another reason many couples use corner time before the spanking is that it helps transition a husband into what my wife calls “discipline rules”. I like many other spanked husbands am a type A macho male and the 10 minutes or so in the corner before a spanking puts me into obedience mode for what is to follow. Normally we are equals and only during discipline do I submit to her

    Alan

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    1. Good point on using it to transition to a more subservient state. I hadn't thought of it that way

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  15. Alan, I hadn't really thought of it that way, but you make a good point regarding pre-spanking corner time as a transition into obedience / submissive mode. She has only rarely had me stand naked in the corner waiting for my spanking, but I can certainly say that it did have that affect on those occasions. We've been doing this steadily for a dozen years or so now, so I can fairly easily just shift mental gears into the sub-mode. Our marriage seems to be similar to yours (as we both noted in a previous thread) in that we have also a fairly typical modern equal partnership marriage (and if fact, she will usually defer to me on most major matters) - except in regard to discipline, which is never far away as I always get at least a weekly maintenance spanking. Also, like you and many other spanked husbands, and as I have posted before, I am also an alpha male in a "boss position" so even though I am a more considerate and respectful husband than when this all began, you would not think that I am a submissive husband based on our every day activities. --al

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  16. I'd not thought of corner time as a method of getting one's head into 'submissive mode', but as a means of me reflecting on the error of my ways. One of the bad aspects of our DD relationship is my difficulty in going from normal 'alpha male' to submissive when Mistress decides to punish me - to the point of my refusal to accept her authority at that moment. That has obviously created serious issues in the past and I wonder now, reading Alan's comments and yours Dan, whether corner time - even as little as five of ten minutes - would allow me to switch to my more submissive side and accept Mistress' authority with good grace, instead of trying to fight the system we have in place. I know there are those who will say a submissive should react instantly - and I accept that. However Alan's and your comments have given me food for thought on how to behave better.

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    1. I've never not accepted my wife's authority, but I think that is different that getting into a truly submissive and contrite frame of mind. Maybe corner time would would work with that

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  17. Gentlemen
    I am married to a very Alpha type male. Early in our discipline scenes, I realized corner time before helps my husband move into the submissive mode he needs to be in for our sessions to be effective. Corner time after a session allows him to contemplate just what the spanking was all about.

    anna

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    1. Anna's comment accurately corresponds to the way I use corner time...

      J.

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    2. anna, I find the same thing with my alpha sub. He needs to remember his position before he's whipped.

      Or when he wakes up.

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  18. One thing not discussed here is doing corner time when a witness or third party was present. Over the years this has happened to me a few times. Once (the first) was when my wife’s sister dropped by unannounced while I was in the kitchen corner after being spanked. That was pure embarrassment although she laughed it off as a kinky game (she knows better now). Two other times involved my mother in law who was staying with us for a while and my wife just carried on normally. Her mother never missed a beat convincing me she knew all along about my spankings. The worst was when my brother stopped to pick me up and my wife had me in the dining room, pants down and nose in the corner. He saw me but didn’t say anything and soon left the house but I was so upset I almost broke position (something I have been trained never to do). None of these actually witnessed me being spanked as far as I know. But they all saw my bottom and had to know I had been spanked. Every one of these experiences was so embarrassing that I feel myself blushing writing about them. This is very different from doing corner time with only my wife present. When my wife spanks me I do feel some embarrassment at the beginning from the lecture when she always makes me feel like a naughty little boy and especially when she takes my pants down herself. But after that the embarrassment goes away even during corner time when I think of mostly what’s coming and how easy I could have avoided it. But when my sister in law and mother in law and especially my brother saw me in the corner it was deeply embarrassing and it still is to remember it.

    Harry L

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    1. Harry, I enjoyed your comment and new wrinkle on this thread. As I posted above, my wife doesn't give me corner time after a paddling regularly but does on occasion - maybe once every month or two (I receive at least one maintenance spanking per week). But just a few months back, I had received corner time to reflect on my misdeeds following an otk hairbrushing - and my wife's sister (who has known of our disciplinary arrangement for a couple of years now - and has even assisted occasionally) walked in on me as I was standing naked in the corner with my freshly reddened behind on display. Since she had already seen me spanked a few times and even given me a few whacks herself, this wasn't too big a deal. But, nevertheless, it was still fairly humiliating, and even more so when she came over and rubbed my bare behind with a remark about how I really needed to learn to behave myself - punctuating the remark with a couple of hard hand smacks to my already very sore posterior.

      But as we all discussed in last weeks comments, it would indeed by extremely humiliating for another male to see us this way. You have my regards on having to deal with that one. --al

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    2. al: Like you (but perhaps more often!), I have had the experience of having my wife's sister - as well as a couple of her friends - watch my sore behind after I had been assigned some "corner time", but they had also, once in a while, been invited to "take a hand" on my backside. When this happens, I swallow my pride and try to take my "medicine" as stoically as I can...

      L.

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    3. I want cornertime, I asked my girlfriend to discipline me and know I need cornertime for punishment. Part of me knows I need it and part of me resists it, I often do cornertime alone as punishment and did get it from disciplinarian when I was younger.

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  19. I always give my husband corner time after a spanking. I like to SE his panties at his thighs and something, usually an enema hose, that he must hold in. Last week in inserted a dildo with a remote control. Was he surprised! I plan to take him out with it in him so I can have fun

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